#guys fyodor is alive
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NIKOLAI ANALYSIS!!!! also some Fyolai analysis
To talk about Nikolai, the first thing about him that should be talked about is his views on freedom
What Nikolai is meant to represent is that there are no limits for humans, that humans can do anything, cruel or good things, humans can do it, what Nikolai thinks is that there is no such thing as ‘no human could be capable of killing their friend’ or that ‘no human is capable to be free’, because for Nikolai what the society thinks and puts limits to what a human can do or can’t is being in a cage. The limits being the consequences to crimes, and thoughts being what society thinks of someone, the judgement. That’s where his comparison comes from, a bird in a cage is what humans are, and a bird out of the cage is something that humans most of the times don’t dare to.
(ignore the quality pls)
Even though he is drawn to justice, he still chooses to support the DOA because of the evil in it, as I said before, he wants to prove that there are no limits for humans, humans can do and are capable of making very cruel things, however most of the people don’t do that because of the fear to consequences and because of morality, being why Nikolai says that it is brainwashing, because it is imposed since someone is very young, which leads that when people are older, they have that morality, being a gray, white or even sometimes black morality, it doesn’t matter because those people still have that morality imposed by society, it is imposed by family, schools and even friends.
Nikolai says that the cage is the skull, the logic behind it is that in the skull the brain and everything else comes to work together, the brain thinks of things even though you don’t want to think that, the brain is responsible for everything in your body, and therefore the skull is the cage, the skull is a cage for everyone, and the only way that someone ends up being free is being dead, once you die you don’t have to worry about anything at all, you cant move, you cant think, you are alone once you die because once you die everything is black for you, which is equal as freedom.
His quote “we can’t leave that warm, wet hell” refers to the body and brain.
Let’s go now to the second topic and how it is very related to the first one.
This may seem like it is not related to freedom, however for Nikolai, freedom truly is when you don’t have to think about morality, when you don’t have feelings attached to morality, when you don’t have anything attached to morality, that’s truly freedom for him, however how is it related to losing yourself? Nikolai doesn’t want to be limited to what society thinks, however he is, he isn’t free yet and he cant be totally free when he is alive, that’s why he opposes to God as a scream to be free and fights to lose himself, he doesn’t want to be limited by his personality and become predictable, what Nikolai wishes is to not be able to feel guilty at all, that’s part of the freedom he wants and considers, he wants to be able to have different thoughts, commit crimes and do things considered as unthinkable by society without being able to feel guilt.
It’s more than obvious that he wishes to not be aware of the cage he is in, birds die not knowing the freedom they could have had, not knowing that they are prisoners living in a cage; that’s what he wishes and why he is jealous of Tonan, Tonan is not aware that he is in a cage, he would die not knowing that he is a prisoner, dying happily inside of the cage, never being free at all.
Let’s go to his other philosophical way to think.
What do I think his philosophical way to think is? Absurdist.
The best way to be free would be dying, committing suicide, however Albert Camus thought that the act of escaping our lives does not counter the absurd and rather in the act of ending our lives, our lives become only more absurd, how does this connect to Nikolai’s mentality?
Nikolai knows that ending our lives would be the most easy way to be free, however it would also not prove what he wants to prove, becoming the act of suicide a absurd thing, which is why he ends up not dying, the plan was for him to really be killed, however he escapes to prove what he wants, that a human can do ‘unthinkable’ things to become free, that a human can do anything, there is no limit
Let’s go now to his relationship with Fyodor because it is very mischaracterized, the topics about fyolai will be; Nikolai’s obsession and wish to kill Fyodor, how Fyodor does NOT care for Nikolai and doesn’t see him as an equal.
His obsession with Fyodor comes from feeling misunderstood, then he meets Fyodor and Fyodor is the first person to understand him, then, Nikolai comes to a realization, that if he wants to be truly free he has to kill Fyodor. To show what humans are capable of, to try to not feel so guilty when killing, to be free and fight what society thinks and imposes. A common thing I’ve seen is that a lot of people think that he wants to be free from all emotions, but I don’t think so, I think that he only wants to be free from guilt, from morals and from society itself. About Fyodor, Fyodor understands Nikolai because he is very smart and analyses people very good, however he doesn’t see Nikolai as his equal, his only ‘equal’ is that man and Dazai, and Dazai isn’t totally his equal since Dazai could be very much said that he is an atheist and an ability user.
The chapter 111.5 was truly a very good show of how Fyodor does not care for Nikolai, even BEFORE this chapter got out it was OBVIOUS that he didn’t care about Nikolai, he uses them for his own benefit, as a matter of fact he doesn’t even trust Nikolai, I don’t blame him because how are you going to trust them if they tried to kill you, however the most easy way for Fyodor to get out of Meursault would have been asking Nikolai to bring him back to Yokohama or wherever he wanted to go next instead of going to the helicopter with a vampire driving. Show that Fyodor doesn’t care about Nikolai is the disinterest he shows to Nikolai, he seems disinterested and is only interested when Dazai could die too, Nikolai seems very happy however Fyodor doesn’t even look interested, in the chapter 111.5 Nikolai seems sad at Fyodor wanting to kill him too, and I don’t blame them either since Fyodor was the first person to them to understand them, and Nikolai seemed very excited to see Fyodor again, and its just sad Fyodor’s reaction because it is totally disinterested.
Fyodor doesn’t see Nikolai as an equal despite what a lot of people think, Fyodor sees God as his superior, then he is below God as he is God-sent, and the only equals he has or had was that man mentioned and Dazai. Dazai despite probably being an atheist and also being a ability user, he is on the same level of intelligence as Fyodor, they are both very similar despite that, and therefore Fyodor considers him as an equal but not God-sent. Then, there are sinners, which are people without an ability and are below Fyodor, then finally there are the worst kind of people for Fyodor, which are even more sinners that the people without the ability which are the ability users, and therefore he doesn’t consider Nikolai as his equal, remember that someone ‘worthy’ doesn’t instantly mean equal, and I don’t even think Fyodor sees Nikolai as a worthy ‘opponent’, I genuinely think that Fyodor sees Nikolas only as an opponent, though not worthy enough to be an equal.
Thank you for reading my analysis!
#nikolai analysis#bsd analysis#bsd#bungou stray dogs#fyodor dostoyevsky analysis#fyolai#fyodor dostoyevsky#nikolai gogol#idk how to tag#i also posted this on tiktok#btw I do not ship fyolai#fyolai analysis#guys fyodor is alive#trust#mykola hohol#bsd fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor#literary stray dogs#bsd nikolai#bsd nikolai gogol
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last words..
#here's my contribution as a skk stan to the new ep hey skk nation how are we feeling :(#guess who drew this a month ago but forgot to post it lmao thats why chuuyas eyes aren't red bc bones hadn't animated the vampires yet 😭😭#its not sokoukuover guys dw!! asigiri himself told me that dazai's alive in the anime and the manga!! :)#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#fyodor dostoevsky#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#soukoku#skk#lotus draws#ALSO SHHH IK I FORGOT CHUUYAS HAT DW ABT IT <33
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Chapter 109 Spoilers
So this is where I suspect Dazai nullified Chuuya's vampirism. I'm certain Dazai's nullification ability can pass through objects or clothing on people. (Something Fyodor might not know). So he could have nullified it through the gun OR by touching Chuuya's ankle.
If what I said were the case, this is likely Dazai trying at a half-assed apology from earlier rather than him trying to get through to Chuuya. Also possible that he's just playing into the role of Chuuya still being a vampire. ALSO DESTINED FOR WHAT???? WHAT WAS DAZAI GOING TO SAY!!!
Notice how the bullets in the wall are connected to wounds on Dazai's body, yet there isnt one for his head injury? ALSO CHUUYA'S PUPILS!!!
Here are the bullet holes at a different angle, and also Chuuya doesn't have fangs anymore. Anyways I think Chuuya used gravity manipulation to slow the bullet so it wouldn't be fatal, but would still leave an evident wound on Dazai's head.
For why I think he shot Dazai the other times... I THINK BRO WAS JUST MAD LOL
#bsd chapter 109#soukoku#skk#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#fyodor dostoevsky#Like guys come on obviously asagiri wouldn't kill off DAZAI#Idk about sigma though... Hope my baby is alive and gets into the agency :(#Dazai was gonna say that they are destined to be lovers (real)
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Also I can't believe we got baited soooo hard, everyone was like "omg Fyodor backstory?" only for Asagiri to turn around, give us more skk shenanigans, Sigma is actually alive and so is that guy too
#i call him that one guy affectionately tho#also one of my parents likes Dostoevsky books and i don't wanna have to explain to them that the one that got crushed under a helicopter#isn't the real life author lmao#(my sister also reads bsd)#but fr i knew bbg sigma was alive but yknow if dazai says it then it must be true 🫡#bungou stray dogs#skk#bsd#soukoku#sigma bungou stray dogs#bsd fyodor
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OH NO!
@jounosnumberoneslut my beloved dos-kun ✨
#look guys dos-kun is alive#and is in the middle of a breakdown#poor fyodor-kun has ptsd#bsdogs#bsd#bsd s5#bungo stray dogs#bsd s5 ep11#fyodor#bungou stray dogs#fydor dostoevsky#dostoyevski#bungo stray dogs fyodor dostoyevsky#bsd nikolai gogol#bungo stray dogs nikolai#nikolai gogol#nikolaigogol#bsd nikolai#nikolai gogol cosplay#fyodor dostoyevsky cosplay#FYOLAI
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win for the skk shippers, loose for the sigzai shippers, suicidal thoughts for the fyolai shippers
#the new episode in a nutshell#fyolai shippers dont worry fyodor is alive trust me!!#sigma my silly little guy has to be alive or else#bsd#sigma bsd#dazai bsd#bsd chuuya#nikolai bsd#fyodor bsd
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why does he look so cute here tho.. silly even…
#His 😈 face#LOOK AT THE SCRUNKLY.. alive and healthy#Im so normal.. he’s okay guys.. he’s ok#fyodor bsd
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How cool would it be if I made blogs for my bsd highschool au!?
Maybe I could start small and make a catch all blog- a blog for the school itself?
It’s just a highschool au where they all still have abilities- like the school is specifically for children with abilities. Fukuzawa is the president, his ability helps the students (and teachers) control their abilities a bit better.
There are still some kinks to work out (like Sigma’s existence and who all is student who all is not) but I’ve got a good idea of how I want things to go
#okay- fr tho#if yall wanna see a blog like this#or just want to hear about my dumb stupid little au#pls pls pls ask!!!!#I wanted to make an au that was as close to canon as I could make it#but not canon at all#oooooooo Chuuya!!!!!#Chuuya’s story is the same up until#he’s taken from the lab#instead of Chuuya joining the sheep Verlaine actually runs away with Chuuya#they move to Yokohama and enroll him in Fukuzawa’s school when he’s 15#cause the whole ability thing#this is my explication for why all these characters are in Japan#students from all around go to this school#cause they’re the only guys who know what to do with your child#who has a big oo scary ability#Ranpo just goes there cause he’s Fukuzawa’s son#most know he doesn’t have an ability but he says he does#cause ya know. he doesn’t want tk be the only guy without#bsd shitpost#i might force my ocs into the school too#Ranpo Poe Yokomizo (is that his name?) and Mushitaro (did I spell that right?) are all trying very hard to start a book club#Fyodor runs a secret book club (you know the book)#and Nikolai is fighting for his life trying to#keep the drama club alive#please yall this au is going to melt my brain#bsd aus#um#bsd rp blog#bsd au
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ᡣ𐭩 BLIND TO THE PURPOSE OF THE BRUTE DIVINE
FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: you're finally in a position to make your first, and hopefully final, move, but the guild isn't your only enemy that's actively working against you. you were foolish to think things would be so easy.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: happy friday lil guys, i struggled with this chapter unfortunately and i'm not sure if i'm happy with the results </3 hopefully you guys will enjoy it more than i did hahah. comments & reblogs appreciated
GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).
CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: hardly edited. suggestive language. reader is a bit of a cunt to fitzgerald & takes advantage of his love for zelda. she also takes advantage of zelda's fragile state to manipulate her. repin's ability (memory manipulation) is now going to be heavily in play for the rest of the series so keep that in mind. mentions of gore (blame klaus).
SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST
The human mind is terribly fragile, but some are more so than others.
You don’t even need to use your ability on Zelda Fitzgerald to make her crack.
One conversation to plant the seeds of trust.
Three conversations to make her believe you’re a friend of her husband.
Five conversations to convince her that Fyodor Dostoevsky was the one who had her kidnapped from her home in Manhattan, and that you, as a favor to Fitzgerald, were the one who had her rescued.
In the seventh conversation, you hinted at knowing something about her daughter before you left for a meeting with the other executives. You let her stew on it for a few hours before returning. By the time you came back, she’d worked herself up into a mess.
In that eighth conversation, you acted apologetic, pretended that you’d misspoke, you backpedaled and bit your tongue. You made it seem like you were reluctant to speak, like you didn’t want to betray Fitzgerald’s trust. She begged you for hours to just tell her what you meant; you refused and left.
You came back three hours after that, and you put up a nice facade of guilt when you did. You told Zelda that you didn’t like lying to her, that her husband is a dear business partner of yours and you’ve come to think of his family like your own just from how much you hear about them through him. You told her that this wasn’t your secret to share, but she begged and pleaded, and you still made sure you came across as reluctant, but this time you gave in and told her.
In that ninth conversation, you told Zelda Fitzgerald that her daughter was still alive and her husband was keeping her away, because the last time Zelda spoke to her daughter, they’d gotten into an argument that drove Frances away. Her husband thought it would be easier for Zelda to think she was dead, because for all intents and purposes, Zelda was dead to Frances. You told her that you got your information through Nabokov, because Frances was living in Russia now under a new name with Dostoevsky’s help.
She believed you.
It took four days.
You don’t really have anything against Dostoevsky. You’ve met him a handful of times during events and he was pleasant enough, but his rats have been seen a bit too frequently in Port Mafia territory and since he and Tolstoy are both Russian, it’s easier for you to help Zelda confuse them. You figure this will be enough of a warning for him to leave Yokohama. If not, it’s just another issue for you to tackle later.
Nabokov, on the other hand—he pissed you off you. You’ve never thought highly of the man, even when you visited him in Saint Petersburg, you thought he was quite despicable, and the more you heard from Klaus about the things that happened in the fighting rings, the more your distaste grew.
Now, he backed out of a critical transaction with the Port Mafia which fucked over one of Piano Man’s deals with the Family in Rome and one of Ace’s casinos, so he’s turned just about the whole round table of executives against him and you think this is a quick way of getting even with him. He would be quite unhappy once Francis Fitzgerald turned all of the resources of the Guild onto him in retaliation for spreading lies about his daughter. The man's one weakness has always been his family, he wouldn't think twice once given a name and reason.
All of this is the reason why you prefer to work from behind the scenes. There are many pros, of course, to being in an organization like the Guild where each executive member is an influential, internationally known public figure, but there’s one big con that you just can’t get over: the lack of privacy.
The Fitzgerald family has been headline bait for all of the world’s most popular tabloids for years, and when his daughter passed away five years ago, you made sure to follow each and every story. You figured one day that the Port Mafia would end up in conflict with the Guild—Fitzgerald’s reach has always been endless, Yokohama was one of the few places out of it, and you knew one day he would move to gain a foothold here and you didn’t want to be scrambling for information about the man once it happened.
Chuuya always rolled his eyes at you when he found you surfing the tabloids, but look how handy it is now. There’d been several popular theories circulating when Frances Fitzgerald was killed in a car accident. Some people thought it was an assassination—the tabloids speculated that Fitzgerald was the intended target but his daughter got caught in the crossfires; the people that knew of the Guild’s ties with the underworld tended to think that his daughter was the intended target as a means to try to break Fitzgerald.
You didn’t buy either of those theories.
You’ve witnessed many assassinations—assassinations gone wrong, assassinations gone right; assassination attempts on you and assassination attempts on enemies. You are very well versed in the art of assassination. You’ve plotted many of them yourself with Albatross and Iceman, and the ones you didn’t, you still oversaw.
You don’t think Frances Fitzgerald was assassinated, by accident or otherwise.
No one bought into your theory when you tried to place bets on it with the Flags—not until one of the American tabloids released an insider scoop from a relative of Zelda Fitzgerald who claimed that the mother and daughter had gotten into a blow out fight the night she died in the car accident.
You think that was the last bit of information you needed to confirm your theory: Frances Fitzgerald was not assassinated, she was a stupid and reckless teenager who was upset after a fight with her mother and drove too fast down a road that was too windy and ended up driving herself right off a cliff. It was a gamble to bring it up now to Zelda, because you couldn’t be entirely certain, of course, but it paid off.
You’d been right—some type of argument had broken out between them the night of her daughter’s death, and Zelda has blamed herself for her death ever since. The woman, who’d been the face of American socialites for almost a decade, had all but retreated from the public’s eye after it happened. People whispered that her daughter’s death broke her mind, and you think that they were right—this woman is hardly a shell. You almost feel bad for what you’re doing to her.
Almost.
Unfortunately for Zelda, she’s a fair trade in Fitzgerald’s eyes, and until Dazai is back to you, she will be treated in the same way you assume Fitzgerald is treating his guest. He’s lucky that you have a high enough opinion of him to believe that he wouldn’t stoop to physical torture; he’s likely just trying to turn Dazai against you in the same way you have with Zelda, but Dazai will see through his manipulations.
He will.
He will.
He has to.
Your eyes slide shut as you fist one of Dazai’s sweaters—a cashmere one you’d bought for him to wear when you take him to nice restaurants, he prefers them to button ups. It still smells like him. He wore it when you took him to a hibachi restaurant in Nishi-ku a few days before the argument the two of you had that led to all of this and you haven’t had the chance to do laundry with everything going on.
You know that you don’t have time for this—there are more things you have to do to prepare Tolstoy’s subordinate, Ilya Repin, for what you’ll need him to do. You haven’t even met the man yet; Tolstoy is embarrassed over it, he keeps apologizing and saying that Repin is fickle when he’s in the middle of projects, but you’re not exactly in a position to make demands when they’re doing you a favor.
“Should you be laying around right now?” a familiar voice hums from the entrance to your bedroom. Your gaze flickers up to see Chuuya's concerned face staring down at you, head tilted to the side. “You look like shit, y’know?”
Your lashes lower as you look away. “I didn’t even hear you come up,” you say quietly. “Shouldn’t you be going to the meeting with the Family envoys with Piano Man?”
You’re the one that usually handles negotiations with the Family, but Piano Man brushed you off when you said you would go. Told you to focus on getting things settled here with the Guild. Told you to get Dazai back. You almost wish he would’ve let you go so you could busy yourself with something other than torturing yourself with reminders of Dazai.
Chuuya exhales as he tosses his hat onto your dresser before sitting down on the bed next to you. You almost want to turn away from him, but he doesn’t let you. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and drags you a little closer to him, and your eyes slide shut as you sink into him, hiding the way your vision blurs against his shoulder. Your breath shudders when you feel his hand running up and down your back, slow and soothing—Chuuya is always warm, but somehow, even with his arm wrapped around you and your body curled up against his, you still feel cold.
“Piano Man’s fine,” Chuuya murmurs. “He and Albatross are handling it. Wanted to come check on you.”
Ordinarily, you would make a snippy comment about him being sappy and he would get mad, smacking you over the head with a pillow. This time, you only let out a shaky breath and a noise of acknowledgement that’s far too weak, and evidently, concerning considering how Chuuya’s hand tenses on your back.
“Why are you here, Chuuya?” you ask tiredly, voice a bit raspy, before he can say anything. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“Never that mad at you,” he says quietly. “Not enough to leave you alone. Especially right now.”
The next breath you take in is wet and ragged, the tears that mist your eyes threaten to spill over. You’ve been on the edge of collapse for over a week now and every time you find yourself alone, you think it’s finally going to happen, but for better or for worse, someone shows up and you have to pull yourself together. But now… Chuuya’s arms are so familiar, too comforting—living in a world like you are, casual comfort is a rare delicacy, one that you can rarely allow yourself to indulge in.
“I’ve got you,” Chuuya whispers. His arms tighten around you and he pulls you more firmly onto his chest, shifting so you could wrap your arms around his waist, your fingers digging into his gray waistcoat. Oh, you realize, desperately trying to bite back a sob bubbling in the back of your throat, it’s happening. “We’ll get him back.”
“I’m tired, Chuuya,” you say, the words wobbly as you fight off tears. Your breath hitches when his hand slides against your shoulder blades gently. “I’m so tired. I don’t know how you did it.”
Your words don’t register until you feel Chuuya pause in the absent strokes of your back.You look up at him, about to speak again to change the subject because you hadn’t meant to bring up what happened two years ago, but he answers before you can.
“I didn’t,” he says with a wry smile. “I destroyed a ward and shut down. You handled it, remember?”
And you failed, you finish, but Chuuya can certainly hear the thoughts running through your head from how his arm tightens around you. He pushes himself up into a sitting position and shifts you to sit upright in the bed. You sigh when he reaches out to grab your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“What happened back then, it wasn’t your fault. That shit was out of your control, you know that. Don’t let it start getting in your head now,” Chuuya tells you firmly. “You didn’t fail back then, you’re not going to fail now. Yeah?”
You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel Chuuya wiping the tears away. You avert your gaze and whisper, “I miss him, Chuuya. You were right. I never should have-”
You never should’ve let this happen. You knew from the beginning that you couldn’t let this go far, but you did. And even then, Chuuya warned you. He told you what would happen if you continued this, but you did.
Chuuya stares at you for a moment with an indecipherable expression before nodding to himself, pushing himself to his feet.
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s go force that fuckin’ Russian to talk to us. I’m done waiting around for him to finish his shitty project.”
—
It is not Twain, James or Fitzgerald who walks through the door to Dazai’s prison cell of a room days after your alleged release from prison. It’s a girl who seems to be a little younger than him—she wears a maid’s dress and has long crimson hair tied into two thick braids.
A girl who probably should not be there considering she looks shifty-eyed and nervous. Plus, Fitzgerald has not hid that he’s been making an effort to ensure that nobody else knows about Dazai’s presence here—he’s kept him isolated, and Dazai never hears anything going on outside of his room, so he assumes he’s purposely being secluded from the rest of the Guild for whatever reason. Probably has to do with the reason behind Fitzgerald keeping his knowledge of your ability on the low—he doesn’t trust that people aren’t listening and doesn’t want this information to get out to anyone.
So this girl is likely not supposed to be here, but Dazai can’t even bring himself to be curious as to why she is here, because he’s tired.
He is so tired.
His gaze is listless as he tracks the girl. She acts like she’s the cornered animal as if she wasn’t the one who willingly came into his room. She paces to the corner of the room furthest from him and presses herself into it, eyes narrowed on him, studying him like he’s some sort of specimen.
She’s his first visitor in eight hours. Dazai assumes that means it’s around morning. He doesn’t know exactly what time it is—there’s no windows in the room he’s been staying in, so he has no way to gauge the time of day, and everything has just been blending together. He tried to keep track of when they would bring him food to have some sense of the day and time, but he realized quickly that they were bringing it at uneven intervals so he couldn’t figure it out.
He thinks it must be some kind of torture tactic—making the days seem impossibly long so that it feels like he’s been here even longer than he has. It’s working to some extent because it is hard for him to tell how long he’s actually been here. Realistically, he knows it can’t be longer than two weeks, but it feels like it’s been three or four.
“You don’t look special,” the girl finally says, her tone slightly accusatory. Dazai’s eye twitches, he’s been reminded quite frequently by Twain that he’s nothing special and it’s exactly why you aren’t coming for him, and he doesn’t need to hear it from anyone else. “Francis has never taken a foreign prisoner and not consulted the rest of the Board. They’re not happy.”
“Does it look like I care?” Dazai asks irritably, rolling his eyes. He should probably try to get information out of this girl, but he has no patience for it.
The girl gives him a scowl in return, but her expression quickly returns to a more contemplative one. “I’m just curious. What organization are you affiliated with? Why didn’t he tell us what’s going on?”
Dazai can’t help the snide comment that spills from his lips. “Us?” he mocks, looking pointedly at the maid’s dress she wore. “I don’t think you’re a member of the Guild’s Board… Seems more like house-keeping.”
Her face flushes as red as her hair, eyes wild and angry, but more than that ashamed. Clearly, Dazai hit a sore spot and he can’t even bring himself to feel guilty for the way the girl gets embarrassed over it. Her lashes flutter as she looks away, not speaking for a moment.
“I was,” she finally says, voice strained, cracking over the word ‘was’. “I was, and I would’ve been consulted with the rest of them at the time, but I wasn’t. I want to know why, who are you?”
Dazai’s lips curl up into a taunting smile. “None of your business,” he sings, leaning back against the wall and raising his eyebrows at the girl when she nearly snarls at him in response. “Who are you?”
“Lucy,” she spits. “There. I told you who I am, tell me who you are.”
“Nope,” Dazai says with a grin. “Why would I tell you that? I didn’t promise to tell you who I was if you told me.”
“You-” Lucy raises her voice, furious, but then cuts herself off, looking nervously at the door. She gives him a sharp look and then continues just as angrily, but more quietly, “Tell me who you are. Why didn’t Francis tell us about you?”
Dazai doesn’t respond. He thinks Fitzgerald has the right idea. The less people who know about him, the better, because if it does get out who he is to you, it’ll just give more of your enemies ammunition against you. Dazai’s done enough damage by now, he may as well mitigate as much as he can.
“You’re with the Port Mafia, aren’t you?” Lucy suddenly demands, and Dazai looks at her quickly, wondering how she managed to figure that out. She looks entirely too smug as she lifts her chin. “It explains the sudden pressure they’ve been putting on us. They blew up the S.S. Zelda a couple days ago, intercepted some of the supplies that we were sending out to our people back home, and slaughtered a whole regiment of Margaret and Nathaniel’s men. From what I heard from Mark, they’ve been nonstop for almost two weeks.You must be the reason why. Am I right?”
“None of your business,” Dazai replies again, but this time, his chest feels a bit lighter.
He makes sure not to let the sudden relief cross over his face, but Twain, James and Fitzgerald have made sure to leave him with no information on what’s going on in the outside world. Especially any information regarding you. But now he knows. He knows that you’re out there still fighting for him, even if you haven’t been able to get him back yet, you’ve been fighting for him—you’ve been taking out the Guild’s bases, you’ve been isolating them from their allies, you’ve been backing them into a corner.
Suddenly, the past two weeks had become entirely more bearable. The heaviness that had been weighing on him wasn’t as oppressive anymore and the nagging doubt that had been clouding his brain was all but gone.
He knew you hadn’t forgotten about him—in his heart, he knew it, but getting verbal confirmation of it was much needed.
“Oh, come on,” Lucy snaps. “I just-just tell me something. Tell me something I can bring back to Francis, anything, I just-
Dazai’s gaze flickers up curiously, watching as Lucy straightens, inhaling sharply as she tries to hide the tears of frustration that suddenly clouded her eyes. Her hands are balled into fists at her side, she gnaws at her trembling bottom lip as she forces herself to settle down enough to speak without her voice wavering.
‘I was,’ he remembers her saying, and realizes instantly why she came down here.
“You want something to bring back to Fitzgerald so you can get yourself out of the doghouse,” he drawls, eyes flicking over her. Her face flushes red, lips parting to protest Dazai’s words but nothing escapes them. “You want to know my opinion?”
“I want information,” Lucy says. “I don’t care about your opinion.”
“I think that’s pathetic,” he shrugs, ignoring her. Lucy’s lips part in disbelief, but Dazai continues before she can say anything. “It is. You’re sneaking down here to beg me for information that you can bring back up to your boss because he demoted you… for what, exactly? Didn’t bring him the right food?”
Lucy swallows thickly, unable to meet his eyes. “I lost a fight,” she whispers. “I lost a fight to one of your people, and I lost everything. I worked so hard to get where I was. So hard. Harder than you could ever understand and-”
“I don’t care,” Dazai says, turning away from her. “If you want my opinion, if you got demoted to being a housekeeper because you lost one fight, you have a shitty boss and should probably find somewhere else to work instead of begging for scraps just to be treated like shit.”
Dazai doesn’t say anything else after that, and makes a show of not looking at her to make sure she knows the conversation is over. Luckily, she gives him no grief over it—in an instant, he hears the door slamming as she storms out of his room and Dazai lets out a soft sigh as he rests his head against the wall. Tired, lonely, and missing you so badly that it almost makes him ache.
Don’t keep me waiting too much longer.
—
You are irritated.
You’ve been waiting in one of the larger rooms in the Mafia headquarters for twenty minutes now—the smell of paint is giving you a headache and the sheer insult happening before your eyes is nearly enough to send you over the edge. Ilya Repin has the audacity to keep his back turned to both you and Chuuya even when Tolstoy introduces you to him. He sits on his stool and continues to paint his canvas, ignoring the two of you quite blissfully: he doesn’t look at you, doesn’t greet you, doesn’t acknowledge you.
Tolstoy is becoming increasingly more embarrassed if his red ears and apologetic looks have anything to say about it. Unfortunately, you’re not sure if any number of apologies will save him from Chuuya’s righteous wrath at this point, because if you are irritated then he is downright murderous.
You watch your fellow executive from the corner of your eye as his eye twitches and his lip curls up. The thin thread of control he has snaps as his tongue kisses the back of his teeth and he starts to storm forward. You stop him quickly, grabbing his wrist and giving him a sharp look.
“He-” Chuuya begins to hiss at you, but you only raise your hand to quiet him down and move forward yourself.
You don’t know if you’re making a mistake by forcing Repin’s hand before he’s ready to help, but you do know that you’re tired and you need Dazai back desperately. It’s been over a week now and if Fitzgerald has been half as aggressive with him as you have been with Zelda, then you know that he’s been playing mind games with Dazai. And Dazai is smart, yes, but how long can someone hold out when given no hope or reason to?
It takes ten long strides for you to cross the room, placing yourself between Repin and the canvas he’s working on. The man pauses, paint brush inches from your cheek, and then looks down at you with narrowed eyes.
“You’re in my way,” he notes astutely.
“And you are in mine,” you counter with a thin smile. “It seems we’re at an impasse.”
Ilya Repin is not what you expected. From how Tolstoy described him, you expected an old stubborn coot who had one foot in the grave and acted like each day was his last on earth. Instead, you’re met with a man who can’t be much older than you—with tousled brown hair and light blue eyes, you’d think he was pretty if he wasn’t so irritating.
He looks down at you with a pinched expression, like he’s considering painting right over your face, but after what feels like an eternity, he lets out a dramatic sigh and glares at Tolstoy over his shoulder.
“I told you not to let anyone bother me until I was done,” he complains, rolling his eyes. You watch as Chuuya’s eyes bulge at the way Repin dismisses you, a familiar red glow flickering around his fists, but Tolstoy responds to Repin before the artist can find himself splattered on his own painting.
“Ilya.” Tolstoy spits out something in such rapid-fire Russian that even you can’t catch what he said. Whatever it is, it makes Repin roll his eyes again before turning to you with a smile that’s too sweet for comfort.
“Her Highness finally decides to grace me with her presence. Honestly, I thought you’d be down here days ago—you’re awfully patient for someone whose lover’s life is on the line… Unless, you don’t actually love him? But then why go through all of this trouble?” Repin hums, leaning forward so close that it has you taking a step back, forgetting that his painting is behind you. His hand darts out to curl around the back of your neck, stopping you from hitting the wet paint while at the same time forcing you even closer to him. He looks down at you through his lashes, nose nearly brushing yours as he says, “Don’t mess up my painting.”
You click your tongue and step away from him, careful not to let it show just how disconcerted you are by his casual disrespect. Chuuya looks like he’s on the verge of bringing the whole building down, Tolstoy has left a wide berth between the two of them as the gravity manipulator becomes more and more vexed by his subordinate. You give him a look to tell him that it’s fine, but it doesn’t seem to ease him in the slightest.
“You’re lucky that you’re Leo’s cousin,” you finally say, giving Repin an equally saccharine smile as you stand a few feet away from him. He finally spins in his stool to turn his back to his painting and his attention onto you, a curious expression on his face as he looks down at you. “I’ve had people’s tongues taken for less.”
“What a waste that would be, my tongue could be used for things much more pleasurable than glossectomy,” Repin replies easily, tone laced with innuendo as his lips curl up into an amused smirk.
Unbothered, you amend your statement. “Your hands, then—a fitting punishment for a painter, I think.”
Unfortunately, Repin is equally unphased, holding his hands out as his smile widens. “But then of what use would I be to you? I thought you needed my ability,” he says.
You raise your eyebrows, silently beckoning him to explain what exactly his ability is because Tolstoy thought it would be better coming from the ability user himself. The man sighs and hops off of his stool, speaking as he starts to put away his painting equipment.
“Essentially, I can take memories from people and store them in my paintings,” Repin explains, walking over to a covered painting and pulling the cloth off of it, revealing a scene of a midnight rendezvous between two lovers. “This is a favor I did for an acquaintance. He was cheating on his wife, his wife figured it out and was going to grill him, he asked me to remove his memories of his mistress so his wife didn’t realize he was lying. I don’t really like him, so I keep the painting on me and light the bottom on fire whenever he irritates me.”
“What does that do?” Chuuya asks, side-eyeing the painting before turning his attention to Repin distrustfully.
Repin gives him a once over before looking back at you pointedly. You don’t have to look at Chuuya to know that he must be livid, so you give Repin an equally pointed look and wait for him to answer Chuuya’s question.
Repin sighs. “Burning the painting returns the memories to whoever they’d been taken from, so whenever I light the bottom on fire. He starts to get that looming feeling that he’s forgotten something important. He’s tortured with that feeling of something being on the tip of your tongue but unable to fully remember it. He calls me all wound up about it whenever I do… I think I might be his only friend, which is kind of sad considering I can hardly stand the sight of him…”
He’s rambling more to himself now than to you, frowning as he taps the tip of one of his paint brushes to his chin. You press your lips together as you think—removal is good, you need to have Fitzgerald’s memories of Dazai gone, along with any other of his subordinates that might’ve seen or met him.
But you need more than removal.
“What about implanting memories?” you ask, interrupting his stream of babbles. He casts you a curious look. “You can remove, but can you implant new ones to take the place of old ones?”
He studied you now, an intrigued expression on his face as if he’s seeing you in a new light. “I’ve done it once,” he says after a few moments. “It’s a far more… demanding process.”
“How so?”
“I need to have a painting ready for it,” he says. “More than that, I need a scene. A story. Every painting has a story—that’s the theory my ability is built on. Memories are stories that can be captured in paintings. I need to have the same depth of detail that a memory would have to make a painting that can be implanted as one. It’s much harder than you’d think. One lack of detail, one inconsistency, it could throw everything off, and once someone becomes suspicious that an implanted memory is a false one, it unravels. I burn the paintings here to return stolen memories; they, figuratively, burn the implanted memories in their mind once they start getting suspicious.”
Not quite as reliable as you’d hope, but you can make it work. You have to make it work. You’re running out of time, each day that passes—each hour that passes… You need to make your move, and you need to do it as soon as possible.
“If I can give you a detailed story, how long would it take you to create a painting that can be implanted as a memory?” you question.
Repin smiles, tilting his head to the side. “With the right muse? A couple of hours,” he murmurs.
Finally, you think. The relief that hits you is almost debilitating; you let out a sigh as you nod, giving Chuuya a long look. For the first time since your arrest, you feel an inkling of hope; you see the first rays of the sun breaking over the horizon, shattering the long night that’s been hanging over you.
The end is in sight. You’ll have Dazai back before nightfall.
“Good,” you say. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Have everything ready to start.”
You don’t bother to listen to the response, turning on your heel to leave the room. You have one last thing to take care of with Zelda, and then, you can sit down with Repin to finish up the final preparations. It’s almost vindicating when you pull out your phone to send a location and time to Fitzgerald.
Just a little longer. I’m almost there.
—
Dazai is lounging in bed when the door opens again.
“I was sleeping,” Dazai says irritably. He wasn’t sleeping, but they don’t need to know that. Twain and James are the ones unfortunately gracing him with their presence, which is odd considering they’ve never shown up at the same before. “What?”
“Up,” Twain says, clapping his hands together twice as he ushers Dazai out of bed. “C’mon, kid. Francis is waiting. Let’s go.”
Dazai scowls when Twain grabs his bicep to pull him off the bed, slapping away the other man’s hand. His skin crawls where his fingers had once been—Dazai has never enjoyed physical touch, not until he met you, but even then it’s limited to you and you alone.
He misses you.
A heavy air settles around him as he drags himself out of bed. He doesn’t know why he’s started to descend into such a depressive spiral since Lucy’s departure from the room, he thought he would be happy knowing that you haven’t forgotten about him, but he’s only become increasingly more despondent.
His fingers feel numb and clunky as he pulls on a pair of shoes—you bought him them. You bought him everything he’s wearing right now, actually. Despite the fact that Fitzgerald has brought Dazai several new pairs of clothes to wear, he hasn’t changed out of the outfit he’d arrived in. He’s sure it smells terribly and he must look like a mess, but Dazai’s mind has always been cruel and now more than ever, it enjoys playing tricks on him.
He’s never slept well before. Usually he doesn’t sleep at all, but when he does, he’s plagued with nightmares. The past few days, weeks, however long he’s been here, it’s been no different. When he sleeps—which is frustratingly often because of the head injury he received the day they kidnapped him—he wakes from long, vivid nightmares of lives where he never met you. He wakes entirely convinced that the entire past few months with you was just an elaborate dream that his mind made up to torture him, that you don’t exist, that you’re just a figment of his imagination created to show him a life that he could’ve had if he were more normal.
It’s only the physical evidence of you that drags him out of a dangerous spiral—the clothes you bought him, the lingering scent of you on him, and the few marks that remain on his body from the night spent with you in the cabin. But your scent is fading and the marks are disappearing, so all he has is the clothes on his back to remind him that you’re real, you’re alive, you’ll come for him.
You’ll come for him.
“Where are we going?” Dazai finally asks, finishing getting on his shoes, but he doesn’t budge as he stares at the two of them, waiting for a response. They don’t give him one. He wonders if the Guild is done with him, if they’re skipping over torture and going right to execution. “Hello? I asked a question.”
“I told ya,” Twain tells him, stepping out of the room and raising his eyebrows, urging him to move along. “To Francis.”
“But why?” Dazai presses. “Why didn’t he come here? Where are we going?”
Twain and James share a long look, like they don’t want to explain to Dazai where they’re going. And-
And Dazai doesn’t dare get his hopes up—he knows better—but it’s impossible to stop the way his body physically reacts to the realization he just came to. His throat swells and he works on over time trying to stop the way his heart suddenly starts racing. He can’t.
Twain would’ve eagerly told him if they were marching him off to be executed; he’s been gloating over the fact that you ‘left him to rot’ since you were released from prison. If this were the Guild getting rid of him, Twain would be just as vocal about that, but it’s not, so could it be…?
He stares at the two members of the Guild. He wants to ask, but he doesn’t want to be disappointed, so he waits to see what they say.
It’s an eternity before Twain rolls his eyes and says, “Seems your girl didn’t forget about you. She called for a parley. We’re going out to meet her.”
Dazai lets out a wavering puff of air, one that he can’t bite back. The tension in his shoulders instantly dissipates, after what seems like weeks of darkness and despair, Dazai finally sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
“I told you,” he tells them, voice a bit more breathless than he meant for it to be. “I told you she’d come. Maybe you should’ve listened to me.”
Twain clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. “Get moving,” he snips, forcing Dazai out of the room and leading him down unfamiliar halls. Dazai is quick to map out the place, noting all of the twists and turns just in case he somehow ends back up here. He’ll get out on his own if he has to, he’s not spending another night in this place. “Don’t get your hopes up. I doubt she’ll be able to come to an agreement with Francis.”
Dazai is a bit too smug as he says, “If she reaches out to meet you, then it’s already over. She wouldn’t have reached out to meet you if she wasn’t sure things would land in her favor, otherwise she would’ve reached out days ago.”
It’s the truth—Dazai knows it. His faith in you wasn’t misplaced, never has been and never will be. You just needed time to make sure everything was in place because you didn’t want to find yourself on unequal grounds during the negotiation. He almost feels giddy as he follows Twain and James out of the building, walking in the direction of a long black car.
Their base is in one of the southern wards, he recognizes immediately. Sakae or Totsuka… maybe Kanazawa. It’s in a residential district, and there's a road sign to Kamakura, so he must be in Sakae or the southern part of Totsuka. His gaze flickers back over to the two escorting him, wondering why they wouldn’t have blindfolded him before leading him out of the building.
Maybe they think it doesn’t matter—they don’t intend on coming back to this base for whatever reason after their meeting with you, or maybe… Dazai’s gaze lingers on the side of Twain’s face, noting the way his jaw is tight and his eyes keep flickering around aimlessly. He looks over to James, seeing the larger man in a similar state.
“You’re nervous,” Dazai voices, still entirely too smug. When Twain doesn’t respond, only giving him a sharp side-eye, he realizes that his assumption was right, and it makes him even more amused. As he gets into the black car, he gives the man a simpering smile before saying, “Good, you should be.”
Fitzgerald is already in the car waiting for them. He’s so hyper-focused on his phone that he doesn’t even realize the three of them entered the car until Twain says something. Dazai should probably be paying attention to what they’re saying, but he finds himself dizzy over the thought of seeing you again.
When the car starts moving, his heart starts racing. He doesn’t know where they’re meeting you, but it can’t possibly be more than a thirty minute drive and that means he’s thirty minutes from seeing you again after days—weeks, maybe—of isolation. He finds himself nervous, almost, because he doesn’t really know what to expect from you—are you mad at him for what happened? Do you still want to be with him? Dazai is unsure because he thinks that even if you did want nothing to do with him anymore, you’d still make sure to protect him if he got caught up in this.
He chews the inside of his cheek, doubt whittling away at his excitement; he’s only drawn back to the present when Fitzgerald responds to something that Twain says.
“I haven’t heard from Zelda today,” he murmurs, looking a bit unsure. “She usually calls when she wakes up in the morning.”
Zelda, Dazai notes the name down, recalling that Lucy had mentioned it too and thinking back to the comment Fitzgerald had made during the second conversation he had with him. I’ve only met one other… you remind me much of her. His gaze flickers down to the man’s left hand, seeing the gold wedding band sitting on his ring finger.
Fitzgerald notices Dazai’s lingering gaze and sighs before looking away, staring out the windshield as the driver continues down the road in the direction of Nishi-ku. After a few moments, he says quietly, “Zelda is my wife… All of this, it’s for her.”
His tone is solemn, eyes heavy as he stares ahead. Dazai tilts his head to the side as he studies the older man, curious. “All of this?” he asks dryly. “You kidnapped me because of your wife?”
Fitzgerald’s lips curve up into a resigned smile. “Yes,” he says. Dazai’s brows furrow, mind racing as he tries to put together the few puzzle pieces he’s been given. What does his endeavor in Yokohama and with the Port Mafia have anything to do with his wife? He’s missing something. “I’ve done terrible things in the name of love, I’ve gone well past the point of no return. I have to see things through now.”
“I would do terrible things for you, Dazai Osamu. I have done terrible things for you, and I would do them again and again and again.”
Dazai misses you. The reminder of your words from the beach house makes his body ache with longing. Yet, Fitzgerald’s words don’t settle well with Dazai. They make his skin crawl with nerves, itching uncomfortably beneath his bandages—he needs to replace them, he’s hadn’t had the chance to change them since the Guild kidnapped him. They’re all yellowed and grimy now, and they’re almost intolerable against his skin. He wants to go home. Wants to be with you.
“What do you mean?” Dazai presses. “What does this have anything to do with your wife?”
Dazai figured that the Guild was just trying to expand into Japan and wanted their first foothold to be in Yokohama to unseat the Port Mafia as the reigning leaders of the Eastern Hemisphere’s underworld… but what would that have to do with his wife? It doesn’t make sense. There’s something he’s missing, something that runs deeper than just territorial conflicts.
Before Fitzgerald can answer, Twain clears his throat, giving Dazai a suspicious look before speaking to his boss. “I’m sure Zelda is fine,” Twain says. “The nights have been getting longer and colder back home, she always gets more quiet when winter comes around.”
Any disposition Fitzgerald might’ve had to answer Dazai’s questions is gone as the man sighs and leans back in his chair. Dazai shoots Twain a dirty look, to which he receives an entirely too smug one. Bitter and irritated, he hopes that you humble the redhead severely in the meeting.
“You’re right,” Fitzgerald says more to himself than to anyone else. “I’ll see if J.D. can stop by the high-rise after this meeting, he offered to check in on her since he decided not to come along.”
Fitzgerald doesn’t seem inclined to continue any conversation at all. He looks out the window of the passenger seat and a tense silence falls over the car—Dazai is wildly uncomfortable between Twain and James. He can feel both of their thighs bumping against his with each turn the car takes and the forced physical contact makes all of this even more unbearable.
The seconds feel like hours, the minutes feel like days. When the car finally pulls to a stop, Dazai is itching to claw past Twain so he can have fresh air and personal space. The other man takes far too long to open the door—Dazai thinks it’s on purpose from the way he gives him an entertained look. Dazai scowls at Twain and shoulders right past him, frustrated and antsy, and then-
And then he sees you.
Dazai’s breath catches when he steps out of the car, nearly tripping over his foot when he realizes that you’re standing outside of the teahouse. There are two people on either side of you, but he’s tunnel-visioned on you and you alone. The world could be burning around him and all he would be able to see was you.
You look beautiful. You always look beautiful, but you look especially beautiful now when he’s been deprived of the sight of you for so long. The sun is setting over the bay and Dazai thinks he could drown in the image of you, that he could die happy now that he’s seen you again. You’re dressed neatly in a suit and your expression is cold and closed off, but he can see the way your eyes soften as soon as he’s in sight and it makes his whole body warm with a comfort he’s been so awfully deprived of the past few weeks.
He loves you. He’s missed you. The apology that he’s been rehearsing every day since he was kidnapped threatens to burst from his lips along with everything he wished he said to you but thought he’d never have the chance to. He refrains, if only barely, because he knows now isn't the time for this, not in this setting, but he itches to be at your side, to feel your skin on his again.
“Don’t try anything funny, yeah?” Twain says with an unkind smile as he nudges Dazai forward. He feels the muzzle of a gun pressed to his lower back, a silent threat for if he was thinking about running to your side.
Fitzgerald walks in front of the three of them, stopping at the bottom of the stairs you’re standing on—a power play, Dazai recognizes, you on a higher ground forcing them to crane their necks to look up at you. Now that Dazai is only partially dazzled by your appearance, he recognizes Nakahara Chuuya and Piano Man on either side of you. The three of you seem to be purposely blocking the entrance of the teahouse and don’t make any effort to move once Dazai and three members of the Guild start making their way to you.
“Do you intend for us to parley out in the open? I would’ve thought that the Port Mafia would appreciate discretion more than that,” Fitzgerald notes dryly.
“I’m afraid we will not be parleying under the current circumstances,” you sigh, and your voice. God, your voice is heavenly, he’s missed it desperately. “You send your… guest over to the car waiting right over there, and then we can talk.”
Hm? Dazai watches curiously, wondering what you’re playing at. There’s no way that the Guild will just hand over their leverage before going into a negotiation, even Dazai knows that much. He knows that you wouldn’t have called this meeting unless you got yourself on even footing with them, but even footing wouldn’t be enough to force Fitzgerald to hand his only advantage over to you. Unless…
“Unfortunately, you’re in no position to be making demands,” Fitzgerald says with a thin smile. “Once we’ve come to an understanding, I’ll be happy to return your lover to you.”
Lover, Dazai thinks a bit dreamily as if he’s not currently a hostage.
You let out a soft laugh, but it’s not a kind one. Dazai snaps himself out of the borderline trance he was in because of how he was addressed when he hears it, gaze flickering back over to you. The smile on your face is small, but equally unkind, like you know something that Fitzgerald doesn’t. From the way Fitzgerald stiffens, he seems to realize that too.
“I fear that I’m the only one in any position to be making demands,” you say light-heartedly. Dazai watches as you slide something off of the ring finger of your left hand, brows furrowing as you hold up a ring between your thumb and pointer finger, showcasing it for Fitzgerald. “Beautiful ring, truly… You must really love her.”
You flick the ring toward them carelessly. Dazai watches as it bounces against the ground with a soft plink once, then twice, and then everything descends into chaos around him.
His eyes widen as a gold glow emanates from around Fitzgerald—within a blink, he’s in front of you, Chuuya and Piano Man, fist raised as he threatens to land a devastating blow onto you. Dazai’s lips part in a cry that doesn’t even have the chance to escape his lips because Chuuya is instantly between the two of you, the Tainted Sorrow activated as he throws Fitzgerald back roughly into the road.
The gun that had been pressed to Dazai’s back is now at his temple, and as Fitzgerald rises back to his feet, you raise your hands in mock surrender.
“Careful now,” you say, an amused lilt to your tone. “We don’t want things to get violent before negotiations even start. Zelda is a lovely woman, I’d hate for something to happen to her.”
“Give me my wife back,” Fitzgerald says, voice strained, but he deactivates his ability, expression hard as he glares at you. “She has nothing to do with any of this. She-”
“Neither did he,” you interrupt, the easy tone replaced with a much colder one. “Let him go, and then you can come in and we can talk.”
The standstill that takes feels like an eternity. James and Twain stare at Fitzgerald, waiting for orders, and Fitzgerald stares at you, angry and frustrated. It’s almost odd seeing the suave and collected man that’s held him captive the past few days acting like a cornered animal. Dazai supposes he can’t blame him—if he’s done all of this for his wife only for you to now have her as a hostage… Dazai would pity him if he still wasn’t so bitter about the head wound and weeks of captivity.
Finally, Fitzgerald nods. After a moment’s hesitation and with a conflicted expression, Twain drops the gun that’s pointed at his head. Fitzgerald is stiff as he makes his way forward, Twain and James a step behind him, leaving Dazai standing alone at the bottom of the steps of the teahouse.
You smile thinly as you step out of the way for them, letting them walk into the building. “Good choice,” you say quietly, mockingly because you know that he didn’t have another choice.
Chuuya and Piano Man share a quick look with you before following the Guild members into the building, leaving you alone outside with him. Dazai stares up at you, all of his practiced words failing him, he wants to walk up the stairs to you but his legs are rooted to the ground. He doesn’t need to move though, because as soon as the doors shut behind them, you’re rushing down from your high ground to him.
Dazai nearly collapses into you as soon as he feels your arms around him. One arm curls around his shoulders, hand cradling the back of his head, and the other wraps around his waist to hold him steady when he leans his full body weight onto you. He has so much he wants to say to you, but he can’t even speak a single word—his breath is ragged and his nails bite into the back of your suit jacket, face pressed in the crook of your neck.
I’m sorry, he wants to say, I’m sorry for what I said, I’m sorry for running out on you, I’m sorry for putting you in this position, I’m-
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly. Your voice cracks over your words and Dazai’s throat spasms as he swallows back a lump. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“It’s okay,” he replies, voice muffled against your skin. His lashes flutter as his eyes slide shut, basking in the familiarity of your arms. For the first time in weeks, Dazai feels safe, he feels warm, he feels like he’s home. “I knew you would come.”
Your arms tighten around him and Dazai almost wants to ask you to skip the meeting with the Guild and come home with him. He doesn’t—mostly because he doesn’t think he has any grounds to ask you to do anything after everything that’s happened, but also because a part of him worries that you might agree to it and he knows this meeting is critical.
When you pull away from him, Dazai barely bites back a protest but he can’t stop the way his face drops as soon as your arms drop from around him. You notice, a soft smile curling at your lips as you lift your hand to cup his cheek. Dazai leans into your touch, eyes lidded as he looks down at you.
“I shouldn’t have left,” Dazai whispers after a few moments. He’s always struggled with apologies, and even now, the words taste like ash in his mouth, but he forces them out. “I’ve caused you so much trouble, I-”
“No,” you say, shaking your head, not even letting him finish. “Don’t. I shouldn’t have let the argument escalate the way it did, I knew better. What happened isn’t your fault.”
Dazai begs to differ. Your words don’t ease his guilt, but he doesn’t want to argue with you about it, so he lets it drop. His eyes flutter shut again when you run your thumb along his cheekbone, fingers carding absently through the tips of his hair. He doesn’t want to leave you again, almost wants to ask if he could stay for the meeting, but again, he doesn’t.
“Atsushi and Kyouka are going to go back to the apartment with you,” you finally tell him what he’s been dreading, and he knows it’s only a matter of time before you send him off. “I won’t be long. I promise.”
Dazai lets out a heavy sigh, a bit more dramatic than he intended, and you give him a fond smile.
“I left some crab linguine in the microwave for you,” you add. Dazai lights up at the mention of his favorite food—he hasn't had crab since the night he was kidnapped by the Guild. “Go, the quicker I can get this over with, the quicker we can get home and curl up in bed together.”
Dazai makes a show of pouting and being unhappy, but he does step away from you in the direction of the car. He doesn’t get out of arm’s reach before he’s pausing and looking at you again, you raise your eyebrows, silently asking him what’s wrong.
“I love you,” he says very softly, almost like he’s hesitant. Not hesitant in his love for you, just hesitant voicing the words out loud when he knows how much the world likes to fuck with him. It’s not the first time he’s said it, but it’s the first time he said it first.
You give him a small, adoring smile. “I love you too, Osamu.”
Dazai lingers for a few seconds longer before making his way over to the car. As his fingers curl around the handle of the door, he pauses and looks back at you, remembering something crucial that he’d been meaning to tell you, calling your name.
“Yeah?” you ask with a frown, looking a bit concerned.
“The Guild isn’t working alone,” he says. “Fitzgerald… he mentioned that he had allies, referred to them as rats that he didn’t trust not to be spying on conversations. He also knows what your ability is, one of your executives is feeding information to him and the Ivory Eagle.”
Your expression shifts into a more unreadable one, gaze shifting from him to look out at the horizon. “Rats, hm?” you say quietly, more to yourself than him. “That explains a lot, actually.”
Dazai isn’t sure what you mean by that, but he figures he’ll bother you for more information when he gets the chance later. He gets into the car with another quiet goodbye, hardly paying attention as Atsushi and Kyouka greet him. His eyes stay on you even as the car pulls away, and you don’t budge from your spot at the bottom of the steps until the car is out of sight.
Somehow, Dazai still has a looming feeling that he’s not out of the woods yet.
—
You enter the teahouse a few moments after the car disappears around the bend leading to the main street of Nishi-ku. The air is brisk and familiar, you’ve spent many days and nights at this teahouse dealing with business for the Mafia. It's your favorite place to bring adversaries for negotiations—the owners are always quick to accommodate you even for last minute meetings, and they’re pleasant enough company when you’re there early waiting for the other party.
Despite having seen and held Dazai, you still somehow feel discouraged. There’s an unexplainable heaviness in your chest as you make your way into the private room in the back of the teahouse, closing the door quietly behind you.
Chuuya and Piano Man sit on either side of the empty chair left for you; Fitzgerald opposite you with his two lackeys on either side of him. An executive of the Family sits at the head of the negotiation table—originally, you wanted Tolstoy to oversee the negotiation, but you figured that Fitzgerald would be at ease with a more neutral party as the host, and two executives of the Family were already in Yokohama to meet with Piano Man. While the Family is definitely more aligned with the Port Mafia, they also have significant business endeavors in Guild territory, whereas the whole world knows that the Three Deaths and the Port Mafia are pretty much extensions of each other because of your relationship with Tolstoy.
The Family executive is a young woman—you recognize her vaguely, most of your meetings have been with Goldoni himself, but she usually follows along like a silent shadow. You think Goldoni has her set to take over as the next ‘Father’ after him. Regardless, as soon as you take your seat at the negotiation table, she looks at you, waiting for you to begin the discussions.
A tactical advantage, one that you appreciate.
“Now that-”
“Where is she?” Fitzgerald interrupts, knuckles white around the edge of the table. “Where is my wife?”
The executive of the Family turns an unimpressed look onto Fitzgerald. What a fumble, you think, amused. Negotiations aren’t just political devices to create a space for peaceful conferences between rival factions, they’re also used as avenues that can make or break alliances. Disrespect the mediator of the negotiation and you might just find yourself on the outs of the entire organization—the mediator chooses who gives the first dialogue of the negotiation, you don’t ignore that unless you want to piss people off.
You raise your eyebrows at Fitzgerald. “I didn’t say I would give her back to you if you let him go. I said we would talk.”
Fitzgerald slams his hands against the table and rises to his feet. His two subordinates share a look with one another, and you feel Chuuya’s hand rest on your knee, ready to activate his ability at a moment’s notice if Fitzgerald tries to attack you.
“Give me my wife back,” Fitzgerald says, jaw tight and voice rough, clearly trying to restrain himself. “I let him go, so give me her back.”
Your lips curve up into a small smile, and then you say, “No.”
Chuuya doesn’t sigh, he knows better than to not show a united front at the negotiation table, but you know that even though he knows this is necessary, he doesn’t like it. Still, you find yourself enjoying it—what Fitzgerald is feeling right now, you’ve felt for almost two weeks. You’ve never claimed to not be vindictive.
Your smile widens a bit when Fitzgerald stares at you, expression entirely unreadable. You raise your hands up casually as you shrug, finding the whole situation entertaining.
“Why would I do that?” you ask, amusement clear in your tone. “I never would’ve given Dazai up in your position. Much less without even getting a promise out of me to get your own hostage freed. That’s crazy.”
You almost expect Fitzgerald to launch himself right at you, no ability activated, just throwing hands, but after what feels like an eternity, he sits back down, back rigid and teeth grinding together.
“What do you want then?” Fitzgerald asks, his voice is still strained but he’s calmer now.
“Why are you in Yokohama?” Instead of telling him what you want, you hit him with a question yourself, watching him carefully. Now that he’s calmer, your ability starts to go to work—not nearly enough to override how on edge he is because of the situation with his wife, but enough for you to work with. “We both know this isn’t about territory, Fitzgerald-san. Let’s start this off right; tell me what you’re really here for, and maybe we can come to an understanding.”
Fitzgerald’s subordinates share a look with one another, and Fitzgerald himself does not seem keen on answering your question. Interesting, you think, what’s so important that it makes him hesitate even under these circumstances? This is something big, it has to be, especially if Dazai heard correctly and Dostoevsky is involved—that man only ever gets involved with conflicts that have high stakes that he knows he can win, and that doesn’t bode well for you.
“It is about territory to some extent,” Fitzgerald finally says, resigned. When you narrow your eyes, he shakes his head and continues. “We’re looking for something here in Yokohama. So yes, we were trying to get a foothold in the city so we would have an easier time looking.”
What?
You can feel both Piano Man and Chuuya give you a sharp look, but you keep your gaze trained on Fitzgerald. Your mind races trying to figure out what he means by this, but you just don’t have enough pieces to put the puzzle together. You need to press for more.
“Looking for what?” you ask coolly.
Fitzgerald stares at you, lips pressed together, expression cold and conflicted. You stare right back, unrelenting. After a few moments, he shakes his head and says, “A book.”
“A book?” you echo.
“A book,” Fitzgerald confirms. “A reality altering book.”
“What?” Piano Man asks sharply, unable to help himself. You give him a look from the corner of your eye—only the two people sitting in the central seats are supposed to speak during negotiations, but you honestly can’t blame him, because you don’t fully understand what Fitzgerald just said to you.
“What do you mean?” you ask slowly. “A reality altering book here in Yokohama? Where did you hear this from? How do you know it’s real?”
“Fyodor Dostoevsky of the House of the Dead-” You almost roll your eyes. Of course, it’s him. You’re glad you decided to go with the route you did now. “-approached me about it. It’s something that I simply can’t let pass me by… my daughter…”
Fitzgerald’s face twists in pain; you almost feel bad for everything you’ve done with Zelda. Almost. His two subordinates—Twain and James—lower their gaze to the table, frowning. After a few moments of silence, and carefully constructing a question to figure out if this ‘reality altering book’ might be real’, you speak again.
“And how do you know this book is real? I know enough about you to know you wouldn’t start a full blown war over what could just be a wild goose hunt, what makes you think this thing actually exists?”
“James was with me when I spoke to Dostoevsky, his ability allows him to decipher whether or not someone is lying. More than that, I’ve seen the Book at work,” Fitzgerald says. Your eyes widen a bit in surprise at his words, more so at the fact that he doesn’t seem to be lying. “Dostoevsky… he has one page of this Book. To prove its ability, and to secure an alliance with the Order of the Clocktower and the Guild, he used a section of it. The Book is real, I was promised a page of it to bring my daughter back if I helped Dostoevsky retrieve it.”
What the fuck.
You stare at Fitzgerald, careful to keep any emotion off your face even though you’re full of turmoil on the inside. If there’s even a chance that Fitzgerald is telling the truth and there’s now a reality altering Book at play, and not only that, if Dostoevsky already has a page of it, that changes everything. There’s no telling what has or has not been altered, the entire truth of this reality is at question. How much damage could be done with a single page? How does it work? There’s too many variables.
It might not even be real, you think, trying to calm your racing thoughts. Dostoevsky is notoriously manipulative, there’s always a chance that he manufactured the existence of this book to get Fitzgerald and Christie to do his dirty work. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s pulled something like that—he could’ve used someone else’s ability to make it seem like the page of the Book altered reality to ‘prove it’ to the two other leaders… but somehow you have a feeling that might not be the case.
“What does the Book have to do with the weretiger you put the bounty on?” you ask.
You’re starting to feel a bit anxious—this is way more than you anticipated, and there’s so many bad implications that you almost feel overwhelmed, but now’s not the time to let it get to you. You need to focus, you can’t afford to shut down. You need to understand what’s happening before finishing up this negotiation, especially now that Fyodor Dostoevsky and Agatha Christie are seemingly involved.
“We were told that the weretiger is essential in finding the Book,” Fitzgerald says after a few moments. “I wasn’t told more than that. I intended on getting my hands on him to figure out why.”
Atsushi doesn’t know anything about this Book. The first thing you did when you got ahold of him was interrogate him for any reason the Guild might’ve put so high of a bounty on his head. Your mind drifts back to Dazai’s theory—that maybe the tiger is a separate consciousness, maybe the tiger knows something about the Book, but you’re not going to voice your theories now. You’ll talk about it with Chuuya and Piano Man later.
“I see,” you say with a thin smile. “How enlightening.”
“Where’s my wife?” Fitzgerald asks again. “I told you everything you want, I-”
“I didn’t promise to give you your wife back if you answered my questions,” you tell him dryly, tone a bit mocking. “That’s twice now. You’d think you would learn.”
You almost commend Fitzgerald for not instantly snapping at you. He stares at you, expression tight and voice strained as he speaks, “Tell me what you want for my wife. Enough of this.”
You watch him listlessly for a few moments, trying to decide if there’s any more pressing information that you should get for him. You’ll have a chance later, but you need to figure out if there’s anything more that might affect the plan you’ve concocted with Tolstoy and Repin. You don’t think there is, and you have to be careful with what you say anyway considering the human lie detector is sitting right next to Fitzgerald, so after a hesitation that lasts too long for Fitzgerald’s comfort, you finally give him your answer.
“How many of your subordinates are aware of Dazai’s existence?”
“Just the three of us,” Fitzgerald replies. Your eyes narrow, so he continues, “I didn’t want it to get out to Dostoevsky. I was worried he would capitalize on the situation before I could. These two were only made aware because they were the ones I had bring him in.”
“Is that so?” you ask coolly. “And which one was the one that left the massive bruise on the side of his face?”
You don’t get a response, you don’t expect to, but you do catch the way that both glance at the man sitting on the left—Henry James. Your gaze slides from the man over to the far right corner where Akutagawa is standing; Klaus is in the far left one, but Akutagawa will be more brutal if you let him off his leash for this, and you want him to suffer. The boy catches your gaze and gives an imperceptible nod, acknowledging your silent request.
“It doesn’t matter,” you say even though you’ve gotten your answer. “I’ll release Zelda to you, but there’s one non-negotiable condition to it.”
“Tell me it,” Fitzgerald demands. “I’ll do it.”
You lean back in your seat, tilting your head to the side as you study him for a moment, and then you tell him, “You’ll meet with a friend of mine. He has an ability that allows him to alter memories. All memories of Dazai will be removed.”
The room goes silent at once. The redhead, Twain, stiffens in his seat and casts a justifiably wary look toward Fitzgerald who looks caught off guard by the request. You imagine that he probably assumed you would demand he stops working with Dostoevsky and leaves Yokohama. You don’t need to demand that, because that will come as soon as Repin does his job… but Fitzgerald doesn’t know that, of course.
“How do I know you won’t mess with other things in my head? That you’ll only remove those memories?” Fitzgerald asks tightly.
Originally, you planned on lying and telling him that Repin’s ability didn’t have the power to do anything more than memory removal, but you can’t do that with Henry James sitting next to Fitzgerald, so you're forced to pivot.
You shrug and say, “You’ll have to trust me not to.”
Fitzgerald stares at you, and it feels like hours even though it’s only been a few passing seconds, but when he speaks, you feel as though you’ve won.
“Fine,” Fitzgerald agrees, expression pinched and conflicted, swallowing thickly. “Fine.”
Your lips curve up into a small smile when you realize he’s decided to trust you—not that there was much of a choice for him if he ever wanted to see his wife again.
“Good,” you say softly.
Still, a fatal mistake.
—
“So… uh,” a white-haired boy says awkwardly as soon as Dazai settles in the car next to him. A girl with black hair dressed in a red kimono sits on the other side of him, back stiff and expression eerily blank as she watches Dazai—she doesn’t blink, hardly breathes, Dazai is almost unnerved. “Don’t mind Kyouka. She takes our missions… really seriously, and you’re our mission right now, so…”
“I’m your mission?” Dazai asks dryly, sighing as he rests his head against the head rest, careful to not touch either of the teens sitting next to him. God, he’s tired of being around people, he just wants to curl up in bed. Preferably with you.
“Mhm.” He nods his head a bit too enthusiastically. “Boss told us to make sure you get to her apartment. We’re gonna stay with you until she gets there.”
Great, Dazai thinks, a little bitter over it.
Evidently, it shows on his face because the boy cringes in on himself and says, “We’ll leave you be, I’m sure you’ve had an, uh, exhausting past two weeks. You won’t even know we’re there. Promise.”
Dazai side eyes him, noticing the way the boy stares ahead embarrassed as if contemplating all of the words he just spoke. He looks… normal for the most part—not like the girl sitting on Dazai’s other side, definitely not like that emo Akutagawa that trails after you like a lost dog, and certainly not like that unhinged brat Klaus who follows you around.
“What’s your name?” Dazai asks for a few moments, sparing the kid from his own thoughts. The kid looks at him startled as if he didn’t expect Dazai to willingly speak to him. “Well?”
“Ah-” he splutters out and then smiles a bit. “I’m Nakajima Atsushi. Just Atsushi is fine though. It’s nice to finally meet you, y’know, without the others around.”
He lets out an awkward laugh and Dazai recalls the last time he saw the boy—he was with the other two outside of your building when Dazai first got the blackmail on you. Of the three of them, he seemed the most nervous. He’s met both Klaus and Akutagawa since then, unfortunately, but never him.
“That’s Kyouka-chan, by the way. She’s not much for conversation, but she’s great. I would’ve introduced myself sooner, but the first time we met wasn’t exactly the best situation, and boss has me training all the time to try to learn better control over my ability, and Kyouka’s always on missions for Kouyou-san so you probably haven’t met her yet.”
Dazai nods, although he’s not fully paying attention. “What’s your ability?” he asks absently, wishing he was sitting at the window so he could at least distract himself with the passing buildings.
“I can, uh, turn into a tiger. I can’t control when though,” Atsushi explains, tossing Dazai a sheepish smile. “That’s why I’m always training. I need to be able to control it without relying on boss or, uh, the collar.”
“You’re the weretiger,” Dazai realizes, glancing at Atsushi and then down to the collar around his neck. He can’t tell from first glance what exactly it does, but before he can figure it out, the boy is speaking again.
“She’s mentioned me?” Atsushi leans forward, eyes wide. “What did she say? Did she say anything about how my training is going? She’s been so busy, I haven’t really been able to get any feedback from her, but I’ve made some progress with controlling my transformations… Kind of.”
“Uh,” Dazai says smartly. Weak-hearted, too soft, not fit for the Mafia. Atsushi's smile starts to drop, so Dazai quickly adds, “Yeah, she has. She’s noticed all of the work you’ve been doing. She’s impressed.”
Atsushi frowns and side eyes Dazai. “She’s never impressed with anything. You don’t need to lie.”
Dazai grimaces and decides not to argue. Instead, he asks, “How did you end up with the Port Mafia?”
“Oh, ah… it’s a long story,” Atsushi says, laughing awkwardly as he rubs the back of his neck. “I lived at an orphanage, but I got kicked out because there wasn’t enough food. Or well, actually it was probably because I was attacking people when I turned into a tiger at night. But it was for the best anyway! And, well, I ended up here in Yokohama, and I guess at night when I transformed, I started attacking Port Mafia warehouses. So boss sent Klaus and Akutagawa to, uh, kill me, I guess. Or capture me, maybe, for the bounty. I’m not sure now that I think about it; it felt like they wanted to kill me, but they’re both also always trying to kill everything, it’s just their natural state. But I wasn’t tiger-me when they got there, I was me-me, so they brought me back to her… um, and then I talked to her for a bit and she told me about the bounty, and then she fought the other executives to not hand me over to the Guild, and now I’m here.”
Dazai stares at Atsushi. “Wow,” he replies blandly. “Quite the story.”
Atsushi flushes. “You asked,” he accuses, scowling at Dazai and looking away.
“Yes, very narrative, ten out of ten story-telling skills,” Dazai says with a simpering smile. He notices the stone-faced Kyouka’s lips curl up as she looks out the window, as if trying to hide it, so he considers it a win, even if Atsushi gives him an outraged look. “What?”
“We can’t all be literature majors, some of us spent our entire lives in an orphanage only to be kidnapped by the Mafia as soon as we got out,” Atsushi hisses, face still pink as he pointedly looks away from Dazai.
“Actually, I’m a creative writing and classics double major if we’re being specific,” Dazai corrects with a sweet smile. “... How did you even know that?”
Atsushi clicks his tongue and side-eyes Dazai. “Aren’t you supposed to be smart?” Dazai squints at Atsushi, a bit insulted. “Where do you think I heard it from?”
You, Dazai realizes, lips curling up a little instinctively. He wonders how much you talk about him—Atsushi isn’t the first to throw in his face that he’s supposed to be smart. Klaus did when he first met Dazai outside your building, Chuuya has too. He imagines you must brag about him, and it makes Dazai’s chest feel warm and bubbly because he’s never had someone brag about him before. Never.
“You make her happy, y’know,” Atsushi says quietly. He’s not looking at Dazai, opting to stare out the window instead. “She’s… not as… Forget it. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“You can’t just say that,” Dazai complains, interested in knowing what Atsushi was about to say about you, but the boy seals his lips shut and stares out the window. Dazai rolls his eyes.
“Hime is not as cruel as she pretends to be,” Dazai startles at the voice of a young girl, almost forgetting that Kyouka is on his opposite side. “She looks out for everyone, but doesn’t let anyone look out for her. Acts like she doesn’t care so no one cares about her, but she does. A lot. Ane-san worries about her, I can tell.”
Atsushi nods. “When she found out everything that… happened at the orphanage, she had the whole staff removed and replaced them. Made sure what happened to me didn’t happen to anyone else,” he says quietly, an indecipherable look in his eyes. Dazai isn’t sure what happened at the orphanage, but he doubts it was anything good.
“Hime and Ane-san helped me figure out the truth of what happened to my parents,” Kyouka agrees softly. “Ane-san couldn’t have gotten the files without her help.”
“And she’s done stuff for Klaus and Akutagawa too,” Atsushi adds, “but she won’t let anyone else help her with anything. Not me, not Klaus or Akutagawa. Hardly even Executive Nakahara. She relies on you though, I think a lot more than she realizes… she’s not been good the past few weeks.”
Dazai’s expression drops, lashes lowering as he looks down at the floor of the car. He’s wondered while he’s been captured how you might be doing. When he got really in his head, he imagined that you were doing perfectly fine without him, didn’t even care that he was gone. He thinks maybe he would’ve preferred that than to know that you haven’t been doing well, he doesn’t like that. Doesn’t like that you were hurting because of him and his stupid decisions.
He’ll just have to make it up to you, he decides. He’ll make it up to you once everything has calmed down. But how? He can’t buy you nice things like you do for him because he’s broke. If he tries to take you out somewhere to eat (not that he can even afford it), you wouldn’t let him pay the bill. Maybe… maybe he could show you what he’s been working on for his poetry workshop.
His face flames up at the thought, pushing it away immediately.
No, he’ll think of something else.
“Why is your face all red?” Kyouka suddenly asks, eyes sharp as she stares at him. “Are you ill? Did they poison you before releasing you? Look at me, I can call Doc-”
“I’m fine,” Dazai bristles, flustered. “I’m fine, I’m not sick.”
Kyouka looks unconvinced, reaching forward to try to press her hand to Dazai’s forehead. Dazai leans back, almost into Atsushi, who yelps and worms away from him.
“Stop that,” he hisses, grateful when the car rolls to a stop in front of the familiar sight of your building. Dazai is climbing over a protesting Atsushi and pushing open the door before the car has even fully stopped. “Thank god.”
He almost trips and falls, foot catching on Atsushi’s leg as he stumbles out of the car. He ignores Atsushi and Kyouka rushing to scramble after him as he rushes into the building. He’s too eager to be back in your apartment, he has every intention of getting up there and locking himself in your bedroom until you get back.
He’s home free now, nothing else matters.
He’s home.
Home.
It’s almost too surreal for him to believe. He’d just about come to terms with the fact that he was never going to see you again, that his fate was in that cold and ugly room the Guild had him trapped in, but now he’s moments away from being back in the familiarity of your apartment.
Moments away from being home.
In a few hours, when you’re back, he’ll be able to curl up in your arm, he’ll be able to hear your voice, he’ll be able to be with you. He just wants to be with you. And he will be. Soon, he-
Dazai freezes when he takes a few steps into the lobby of your building and feels the muzzle of a gun press to his lower back. His eyes widen and he hears Atsushi and Kyouka skid to a stop a few steps behind him. He swallows thickly, realizing while he’d been lost in thought, he’d also lost track of his surroundings.
There’s a group of unfamiliar people in the lobby of your building, all armed and all wearing strange collars around their necks. Not like the one Atsushi wears, these ones are large metal ones with a gem implanted in the middle. Your doorman, an older man named Hinata who Dazai has become acquainted with over the past two months, lays dead on top of his desk, hand still reaching out for his phone.
“Who-”
“Shhh,” an equally unfamiliar voice says dismissively. It’s nasally and grating to the ears, Dazai already knows this man is going to be a piece of work. “Don’t speak, I want to get this done and over with.”
“Ace,” Atsushi shouts angrily. “What the hell are you doing? Get away from him.”
“No can do, weretiger,” the same man, Ace, drawls. “On orders from the Boss. I suggest you step out of the way, I was told he needed to be alive… but anyone that tried… well, you see what happened to old man Hinata over here. Never liked him, thought because he answered directly to our precious hime that he was something special. He wasn’t. Neither are the two of you, so get out of the way so I can complete my mission, yeah? Yeah. Good.”
Atsushi and Kyouka don’t verbally respond, but they don’t need to. Kyouka seemingly responds well enough from the sound of her katana being drawn, Dazai wants to turn around to look, but the gun against his lower back stops him. He’s so frustrated that he almost wants to cry, of course things couldn’t be this easy. He should’ve known better.
Ace clicks his tongue and Dazai still can’t see him, but he can tell just from the mocking tone he uses that the man must have a really punchable face. “Careful, Kyouka-chan, you won’t be the only one getting in trouble for going against the boss’s direct orders. Little hime and Kouyou-san will face the consequences for your disobedience too. You don’t want that, do you?”
“Kyouka-chan, it’s okay,” Dazai says, voice deceptively even. “It’s okay.”
It’s definitely not okay, but if they’re not going to kill Dazai on the spot, then he can safely assume that they want something from him. That means he’ll have time to stall. Enough time for you to finish up the negotiations and get here.
“But-”
“You heard it from the man himself,” Ace sings, forcing Dazai to turn around to walk right back the way he came. “Swords down and claws away, kids, and step over to the side so my men can make sure you don’t go and let our shining star know what’s happening too early, alright? Let’s give her time to handle things with the Guild so we don’t have to worry about those irritating Americans anymore.”
Dazai was right. Ace’s face is extremely punchable, and his hands twitch at his side when the man has the nerve to give Dazai a very smug smirk.
“I’ve been waiting for someone to knock that girl off her high horse for a long time. Longer than you can imagine,” he says wistfully. “I’m so glad I get to be the one to do it. Get moving.”
“She’s gonna kill you,” Dazai says quietly.
“And disobey a direct order from the Boss?” Ace mocks. “You must not know her as well as you thought you did. She’s like a loyal hound to that man. A real bitch if I do say so myself.”
Dazai’s body moves before he actually processes the words, arm shooting out and fist cracking against the man’s jaw hard. Dazai is almost proud of himself as he watches Ace crumple to the ground, groaning, realizing that even after all of this time, he can at least somewhat remember the self-defense lessons that Odasaku forced Dazai to take part in. Though he doesn’t have much time to bask in his pride, because for the second time in less than a month, his head is bashed in by a baton and he crumples to the ground hard.
Shit, he thinks, pain coursing through him as his vision starts to go black. This is bad. This is-
—
“Is it done?”
“Don’t talk to me,” Repin says, holding up his hand as he swiftly walks past you. “I have paintings to create. Too many memories are flooding my head right now, if I have to see that moron you call a boyfriend for longer than I have to, I will gouge my eyes out.”
You roll your eyes. “I’ll take that as a yes then.”
“Don’t forget our deal,” Repin shouts as he leaves the room. “I’ll be cashing in on it. Those additions you asked for were not easy work.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you say dismissively. “Go do what you need to do.”
Chuuya looks concerned. “Deal?” he demands. “What deal?”
“Don’t worry about it,” you sigh, shaking your head and turning your gaze back to the one-way glass showing the room that Twain and Fitzgerald are sitting in.
The two are chatting with one another, oblivious to what just happened to them. Repin told you to give it a few minutes before going in, let their brain adjust to the new memories he implanted, but you’re impatient. You want to finish things up here so you can get to Dazai. You miss him desperately already—the few seconds you were able to hold him in your arms were simply not enough. Each passing minute without him now is agonizing.
Before you can spiral deeper into your thoughts, the doors to the room behind you open. Akutagawa and Klaus step into the room—an impassive look on the former’s face, as if his coat isn’t dripping blood onto the ground beneath him, and the latter has a wild smile on his face and an even wilder look in his eyes. Akutagawa evidently allowed the other boy to partake in the bloodshed considering Klaus’s face is smeared with an equally disturbing amount of blood.
“It has been done,” Akutagawa announces, raising his chin. “Henry James was killed.”
“Really fucking brutally too,” Klaus interjects with a laugh that almost disconcerts you. “Wanna come see?”
“No,” you say flatly. “Call the clean up crews.”
Klaus visibly pouts at your words, but Akutagawa nods and pulls out his phone, taking a step away. You turn your attention back to the room, lips pressed together. It’s… odd almost—Fitzgerald and Twain talk casually, not knowing that the negotiation that took place between the two of you even happened, not knowing that
Not odd—scary.
You’ve encountered all types of abilities before. Chuuya and Akutagawa have two of the most lethal abilities you’ve ever come across. Klaus’s ability has always disconcerted you with the way it takes and takes and takes from the boy, knowing that someday it would consume him entirely. There was a child you once met with an ability kind of like yours—a type of mental manipulation triggered by physical harm to the user that ravaged the human psyche with hallucinations; they couldn’t control their ability, couldn’t even stop it at their own will, so you had to have them killed. Ayatsuji Yukito, the notorious Homicide Detective that the Special Division has recently leashed, concerns you because the man could kill just about everyone you care about with minimal effort if he’s ever brought into Yokohama to investigate the Port Mafia.
But this is different. Repin’s ability alters the mind so fundamentally that you don’t even know your mind has been altered. That scares you. It scares you almost as much as the prospect of that reality altering book Fitzgerald mentioned. The idea that one person could completely manufacture your perceived reality and you’d have no idea…
It scares you.
“What’s wrong?” Chuuya asks quietly as Akutagawa and Klaus leave the room to direct the cleaning crew to wherever they butchered Henry James. “Hey, you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you say, shaking your head. “Just want to be back at my apartment.”
“Soon,” Chuuya tells you, nudging your shoulder. “You wanna go in and talk to them now?”
“You think it’s been long enough?”
“Yeah,” Chuuya says. “Go for it. I’m gonna head up to the conference room. Mori wants to see us after you’re done here.”
You roll your eyes. “I’m going to see Osamu first,” you mutter. “I need to make sure he’s okay before…”
Before getting back into all of this bullshit. You just need to spend ten minutes with him before doing anything else. Ten minutes. Even though he’s back, and you know he’s safe, you watched him get into the car with Kyouka and Atsushi… you’re still on edge. You don’t know why, but you’re still on edge.
Chuuya nods. “I’ll cover for you,” he promises. “Now go finish things here.”
You don’t say anything else, sighing as you make your way over to the door. You wrap your fingers around the door handle, pausing for a second to collect your thoughts. You already know what you’re going to say—you’ve scripted it out, rehearsed it a hundred times. You’ve gone over information with Repin dozens of times to make sure everything is ironed out.
You know what you’re going to say, you just have to say it, and then you can go see Dazai.
With that thought in mind, you push open the door to the room where the two Guild members are waiting for, making sure the smile on your face is warm and inviting while amping up your ability just enough for it to have a physical effect on them. The tenseness in their shoulders eases, and Fitzgerald rises to his feet with a small smile.
“Ah, Miss Mori-” God, being called that makes your skin crawl. You can’t remember the last time someone actually referred to you that way—you even prefer hime to it. You have to make an effort to not let the irritation show on your face as Fitzgerald continues speaking, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Fitzgerald-san,” you greet lightly, holding your hand out to him. He shakes it firmly and you add, “I wish it didn’t have to be under the circumstances.”
Fitzgerald grimaces as he nods and takes a step back. “Yes,” he agrees, voice low. “My wife. You have her?”
“I do,” you tell him, taking a seat next to him. “She’s… not doing well.”
This is a more casual setting, a sitting room in one of the central building’s higher levels—a few couches set up in the center of the room around a coffee table, a window overlooking the city and a bar on the opposite side of the room. Twain lounges back in one of the armchairs in the corner of the room by the window while Fitzgerald sits closer to you. You chose this setting on purpose: it’s more intimate, less official than a negotiation room.
More like a meeting between friends than enemies, which is exactly what this has become with Repin’s meddling.
Fitzgerald sighs and looks away, lashes fluttering. “I feared that would be the case,” he murmurs. “How bad is it?”
You give him a small, sympathetic smile as an answer and Fitzgerald inhales sharply, rubbing his hand across his lower face, forehead creased in worry.
“I should’ve known better than to deal with Dostoevsky,” he sighs, despondence lacing his tone. “I was warned, but…”
“Many have made the mistake of falling for his charms,” you say quietly. “You can’t blame yourself.”
Good, you start to become a bit more comfortable. Repin pulled through. If all went according to plan, Fitzgerald should believe that Dostoevsky was the one to have Zelda kidnapped, and the Port Mafia was able to intercept. You’ve spent the past few hours tying up all the loose ends—Tolstoy handled the security cameras in New York, you the ones here in Yokohama, there’s no physical evidence left of Tolstoy’s involvement in Zelda’s kidnapping and you’ve ensured rumors have already started spreading about Fitzgerald reneging on his alliance with Dostoevsky and Christie by withholding information. You don’t need to whisper anything else, the entire world knows that Fyodor Dostoevsky does not take treachery lightly, the assumptions will be made on their own.
“I can when my wife is on the line because of it,” Fitzgerald snaps, and then lets out another heavy breath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just frustrated with myself.”
“It’s okay,” you tell him easily. “I understand.”
“Can I see her?” Fitzgerald finally asks hesitantly. “Or is she…”
You make sure the expression on your face is contemplative, a bit concerned and then say, “You can, but I don’t know if it will go well… Dostoevsky… he did a lot of damage to her psyche with the stories he was telling her. I’ve hardly been able to make any progress with her, I’ve only been able to convince her that I’m a friend.”
Fitzgerald grimaces and looks away. While he decides what to say, you contemplate your next move. You have Lippmann ready to bring Zelda into the room; you know that she won’t take the sight of Francis kindly, you’ve ensured that much. Zelda Fitzgerald’s mind has been all but shattered even without the use of your ability. But if Fitzgerald insists on taking her with him, which there’s a good chance he will, you’ll lose some very critical leverage over the Guild. If Fitzgerald ever manages to unravel the memories Repin has woven into his mind, it’ll leave the Port Mafia vulnerable to a full blown war with the Guild without a hostage in hand.
You really don’t want to lose Zelda.
But… maybe you can still make this work.
“I want to see her,” Fitzgerald says after a few moments. “Please.”
You nod and glance down at your phone to shoot a text to Lippmann. You’ll only have a few seconds before he walks through the door with Zelda, but you’ll have to figure out your exact approach once you see how visceral her reaction is to Fitzgerald. Though you know it'll be bad, if it’s not bad enough, you won’t be able to convince Fitzgerald that she needs your help.
The door to the room cracks open and Fitzgerald is on his feet in a second, holding his breath as Lippmann steps in, holding the door open for the fragile woman. His blue eyes are glittering with amusement as he catches your gaze, and you find yourself relaxing, realizing he must’ve been able to get her worked up before leading her in here.
You lean back in your seat, folding your hands in your lap, settling in to watch the show about to unfold.
It doesn���t take more than a few seconds for it to begin.
Zelda freezes in the door frame as soon as her eyes fall on Fitzgerald. You watch the way her breath catches, the way her eyes widen and the way her pupils dilate. She mouths the word ‘no’ before speaking it, shaking her head slowly.
“Honey,” Fitzgerald whispers, taking a step forward, but Zelda takes a step back as soon as he does. “Honey.”
“Stay away from me.” Zelda’s voice breaks over the words, lips visibly trembling as she presses her back against the door frame. She looks like she’s on the verge of fleeing, but Albatross’s sudden presence in the door stops her. “Stay away. You lied to me. You lied. Frances… our daughter, my daughter, you…”
“What?” Fitzgerald breathes out, brows furrowing in confusion. “Zelda, honey, what are you talking about? I don’t-”
“You lied,” Zelda cries, voice rising. “You lied to me. You took my daughter from me, get him away from me, get him away! I don’t want to see him, I don’t-”
Zelda is hyperventilating, hardly breathing properly, eyes wide, wet and watery. You nod at Lippmann, and the man leads her out of the room. It’s quiet once she’s gone—your gaze sweeps across the room, Twain looks sick from where he’s sitting stiffly in the chair he’d been lounging in and Fitzgerald, the powerful leader of the Guild, looks crushed, ashen as he takes a shaky step backward to sit back down.
To his credit, he still tries to keep himself put together. You can tell from the way his breaths are robotically even and his fingers are trembling in his lap. You watch him for a few seconds before reaching out to place your hand on his shoulder.
“I’ve been trying to help her,” you say, carefully choosing your words. “I’ve been told you know what my ability is, is that true?”
You know that it is, you were careful to make sure that Repin didn’t disturb any of those memories. You figured it could help you in convincing him to let you keep Zelda if he thought you could undo the damage ‘Dostoevsky’ had done.
“I don’t want you messing with my wife’s head,” Fitzgerald spits out. “That Russian bastard has done enough damage.”
“Of course not,” you agree amiably. “That’s not what I mean. I can use my ability to keep people at ease. Every other hour she’s going into violent fits of hysteria… tries hurting herself, I-”
Fitzgerald lets out a sharp breath, looking away. “What did he tell her?” he asks, voice wavering. “She mentioned Frances. I-”
“From what I was able to gather, she seems to think your daughter is alive and you helped her… escape to a foreign country to live out her life away from Zelda,” you say, watching Fitzgerald’s face twist in distress and frustration as he buries his face in his hands. “I can release her to you, if that’s what you want, but-”
“You can help her?” Fitzgerald demands, looking at you. His eyes are red and glassy but his face is tight. He seems to be doing his best to not fall apart until you’re gone, but his self control is wavering the more he hears about Zelda.
“... I can.”
“How?” he asks. “How will you do it?”
Here’s your chance. You can’t mess it up.
“When Zelda is having those… hysterical fits, she’s impossible to reason with and can’t settle down on her own. I’ve only been using my ability to calm her down so I can speak with her. It’s taking a lot of time, but since I’ve managed to convince her that I’m a friend, I think I’ll be able to make progress in convincing her that Dostoevsky's lies were just that—lies. It’ll be… tenuous, definitely won’t be a smooth path, but I think, with time, I’ll be able to do it.”
“Will there be any side effects to you using your ability to calm her down?” he questions, watching you carefully.
“Nothing major,” you say honestly. “In the future, she’ll probably feel instinctually more relaxed around me—her brain will just associate me with being at ease, so even if I’m not actively using my ability, it’ll still reflect that way, but no lasting effects.”
After an agonizing few seconds, Fitzgerald nods.
“Help her. Please,” he says, voice raspy. “When Dostoevsky comes to Yokohama, you’ll have the Guild’s support in dealing with him. I swear it. Just help my wife.”
Wow, you think, almost unnerved by how well this worked out. You have Dazai back, you managed to keep Zelda, and you turned the Guild against Dostoevsky. You can’t help but feel like there’s going to be some sort of catch, or that it’s going to backfire. It would track considering how poor your luck has recently been. But for now, you roll with it and hope for the best. You'll start preparing for the worst after you’ve been able to spend a few days with Dazai.
“I’ll do everything I can for her,” you say, rising to your feet and giving Fitzgerald a small smile. “You can stay here for as long as you need. I’ll have one of my men wait outside to escort you back to the lobby when you’re ready.”
Fitzgerald thanks you, and you finally turn to leave, ready to see Dazai. You just need fifteen minutes with him before you go off to your meeting with the other executives. You need to see him, hold him, talk to him. Need to make sure this isn’t all some cruel, elaborate trick your mind has played on you before heading into another exhausting meeting.
Klaus, Akutagawa and Albatross are waiting outside for you. Albatross parts his lips to speak but you shake your head, not wanting to risk saying anything until you’re well out of ear shot of this room, just in case. They follow you to the elevator, and it’s only once the doors close that Albatross bursts into laughter.
“You’re one evil bitch,” Albatross snickers. “Fucking that woman’s head up just to play the hero? That’s messed up even for you, doll. I don’t know how you sleep at night.”
Your lips curl up into a smile as you toss a wink at Albatross. “I’ll sleep just fine tonight with Dazai in my bed.”
“Gross,” Albatross complains, rolling his eyes. “No, but really. This was one big play—less than two hours and we’ve managed to totally turn the tables. Crazy. What exactly did you have Repin do besides remove their memories of your boy?”
“Before Dazai went back to my apartment, he told me that the Guild was working with Dostoevsky,” you explain as the elevator gets to the lobby. Albatross walks at your side, Klaus and Akutagawa trailing behind the two of you as you make your way out of the building to walk across the property to your building. “I already intended on using Dostoevsky and Nabokov as scapegoats, but this made it a lot easier. Fitzgerald was withholding information from him-”
“Everyone knows that bastard doesn’t let disloyalty slide,” Albatross grins sharply. “Of course he’d retaliate.”
“Exactly,” you agree. “I had Repin twist the situation. Made them believe that Dostoevsky was the one that had Zelda kidnapped, but we were able to intercept. Only Tolstoy’s executives, our executives, and my direct subordinates know the truth. Tolstoy handled CCTV in the States, we handled the ones here. If Dostoevsky tries to convince Fitzgerald that it’s not true, there’s no proof—only he said, she said—and even if he does…”
“We still have Zelda,” Albatross finishes with a sharp grin. “Evil. I can’t believe we managed to come out of that with your boy back, the Guild on our side, and the hostage still in our custody. God, I love you. You can be fucking terrifying sometimes, y’know that?”
Your lips part to make a quip back at him as you push open the doors to your building, but the words die on your tongue as your gaze lands on what’s awaiting for you in the lobby. The first thing you see is your doorman slumped over the desk, blood dripping over the side and pooling on the ground in front of it. The next thing you see is Kyouka and Atsushi, both unconscious, needles discarded carelessly on the ground next to them.
You don’t see Dazai.
“What the fuck,” Albatross breathes out, pulling out his gun and shifting to stand in front of you. “Klaus, go check on Atsushi and Kyouka.”
Klaus and Akutagawa rush from behind you—Klaus to Kyouka and Atsushi, trying to wake the two of them up, and Akutagawa in front of you and Albatross, Rashumon at the ready. You can feel Albatross’s hand tight around your forearm, you can hear him talking but you can’t make out any word that he’s saying.
“This isn’t real,” you say flatly as you stare ahead. “This cannot be real.”
Something bubbles in your chest—you don’t know if it’s rage, distress or sheer hysteria, you think a combination of all three because although your blood is simmering, you feel your eyes misting over and a laugh about to burst from your lips because what the fuck?
You press your hand to your mouth, hardly even registering what’s going on around you. Klaus is trying to shake Atsushi and Kyouka awake, Akutagawa is scouting out the rest of the lobby to make sure no assailants are still lingering, and Albatross is trying to get your attention but you don’t take notice of him, shaking your head, and trying to hide the way your lips are curling up into a disbelieving smile.
What a joke, you think, breath catching as you pace over to Klaus, Atsushi and Kyouka. Shit.
As soon as Atsushi’s eyes flutter open, you’re grabbing his chin and craning his neck to force him to look you in the eye. “Where is he?” you ask, voice surprisingly steady. “Where is he? What happened? Answer me, Atsushi.”
Albatross says your name and grabs your wrist to try to get you to back off, but you toss his hand right off of you. Atsushi is still out of it, not understanding what you’re asking him, but before your frustration can bubble over, you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket.
Your hand drops from Atsushi’s face to reach into your pocket. Your fingers are stiff and clunky as you pull your phone out, and as soon as you see the name on your screen, you know.
You don’t say anything as you answer the call and lift the phone to your ear, waiting for the person on the other line to speak first.
“Hello, little hime,” Mori says, you can hear the smile on his lips. “Have you finished with the Guild?”
“Where is he?” you ask in response. “Where is he?”
“Safe for now,” Mori hums, sounding entirely too amused. “I’ve had quite an interesting conversation with him. I can see why you like him as much as you do.”
“Everything I do for you,” you hiss, the nails of your free hand digging into your palm. “Everything I do, and this is how you repay me. I’ve spent my whole life doing everything you want, and you can’t even spare me a shred of fucking loyalty. You-”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, dear,” Mori sighs and your blood pressure skyrockets. “I’m doing this to protect you, as has everything I’ve ever done. You truly have no faith in me.”
“To protect me?” you shout, your throat burns and it’s a struggle to force yourself to breathe properly. You feel dizzy, a panic attack coming on, but now is not the time, you need to calm down. “You did this to protect me?”
“I did,” Mori agrees. “This boy had been lying to you for months. I had a feeling, but I wanted to confirm it before bringing anything up to you. I know you care for him. I didn’t want to unnecessarily break your heart.”
“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense, I don’t believe you.”
“I’ve never lied to you, little hime. I have to many people, but never you. He’s been lying to you about who he is… I suggest you get up here quickly.”
“What do you mean?” you ask. Your voice wavers this time, you can’t stop it. You can feel several sets of concerned eyes on you, but you can’t bring yourself to meet any of them. “Stop being cryptic, just spit it out.”
“The boy’s name is not Dazai Osamu, dear. It’s Tsushima Shuji.”
Your ears ring as his words slowly process through your head. Your silence is enough of an answer for Mori.
“I’ll be waiting in the conference room for you. Do get here soon.”
#dazai x reader#dazai x you#dazai osamu x reader#dazai osamu x you#bsd x reader#bsd x you#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x you
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rosebud
pairing: jay x reader, sunghoon x reader genre: smut with plot summary: ever since your mother passed away, your stepfather has been there for you. but when your old crush finally makes a move on you, you find that you want to pursue something different. one night won't change a thing, right? contains: unprotected sex, dubcon, mentions of death, infidelity (?), "humor", piv, blowjobs word count: 8.6k (unproofread) taglist: @belowbun @moon7jay @ui11iane @bambangan A/N: I didn't intend to write this, but here we are. Hope you enjoy it!
You tasted the dish you had made once more before setting the spoon down and closing the lid on the pot. Perfect. Jay would love it. You both worked full-time jobs, but he did so much around the house that you liked to have dinner waiting for him. You were a better cook than him, anyways.
You washed your hands and decided to head to the couch while you waited for him to come home. It was your ritual: when your mom was alive, you, Jay, and her would all sit down and talk about your day before going your separate ways. Your mom had liked to eat dinner alone, so your time to congregate was just when everyone got home.
Your mother had passed away a few years ago, shortly after her and Jay, your stepfather, had gotten married. It was a car crash, a stupid drunk driver. Just the thought of that night made you curl into yourself. Jay had taken care of you after that. Even though you had been an adult for a while, able to support yourself with your job, he had never even mentioned you moving out. He had moved you and your mother to his lovely house in the suburbs, got you whatever you wanted for your room. To repay his kindness, you liked to do little things for him: cook, do the laundry, mop the floors. It was the least you could do.
The breakers in the doorknob clicked, and Jay walked into the foyer. You tried to rid your mind of the hard times, of the grief. When he saw you, his face brightened. “I smell something good,” he said, taking his shoes off and loosening his tie. He had a high-status, forward-facing job, so Jay wore suits everyday to work. You ironed them for him on the weekend, taking care to put them in protective plastic bags.
“I made cream pasta,” you said, relaxing onto the couch. “Your favourite.”
“Oh, thank you, sweetheart,” Jay said. “I need it. Was so busy I didn’t get lunch today.” He walked into the living room and gave you a quick peck on the cheek. “Just gonna go wash up, then we can chat, okay?”
“Okay,” you said happily, washing him dip into the downstairs guest bathroom.
When he came back out, he had loosened his tie so that it hung slackly around his neck. Jay walked over to the couch, tilted your head up, and gave you a long, gentle kiss. He broke the kiss to lower himself onto the couch, settling next to you.
Jay held your hand in his, stroking his thumb over your knuckles. “How was your day?”
You shrugged. “Nothing to report. This guy kept asking for the book ‘Against bad and Good’ by Fyodor Dostoevksy, and eventually I figured out that he meant beyond Good and Evil by Nietzsche.”
Jay laughed. “Was he drunk?”
“Just stupid, I think. How was your day?”
Jay squeezed your hand. “Good, good. I got a lot of work done in preparation for the trip. Had to coordinate with marketing for the proposal, which is always difficult, because marketing is staffed by-,”
“Neanderthals?”
He kissed your cheek. “I’ve taught you well.” You laughed, which earned you an affectionate smile from him.
“I remember when I heard you laugh for the first time after your mom passed,” Jay said, his other hand coming to rest on your shoulder. “It made me so relieved.”
“It did?”
“Mhm,” he said. “That’s how I knew you would be okay.”
You smiled at him, then, and he leaned in to give you another gentle kiss on the lips. He pulled away slowly, almost teasingly. You held his cheeks with both hands and brought him back towards you, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. Jay softly groaned into your mouth and wrapped his arms around your lower back, drawing you into him.
One of his hands strayed towards your chest, and he groped one of your clothed breasts.So it was one of those days. Jay tugged on your lip as he pulled away from the kiss, one hand still lingering on your chest.
“We might have to postpone dinner,” he said, running the side of his finger along your cheek.
“Why? You’re not hungry?”
“I am,” Jay said, “but for something else.” With that, he leaned in and kissed a sensitive spot under your ear, eliciting a gasp from you.
“Bedroom?” you asked.
Jay nodded and lifted you up, holding you bridal-style. As he carried you upstairs, you began unbuttoning his white collared shirt, kissing at the new expanse of skin awarded to you. “I need all the time I can get with you before my trip.”
“Where is it again? Singapore?” you asked before pressing wet kisses on his upper chest.
“Yeah,” Jay said. “Fuck, I’ll really miss you.”
“It’s only five days.”
“And I’ll miss you every single hour,” he said. He pushed the door to his bedroom open and brought you inside. All of your mom’s stuff had been moved to storage, leaving it an entirely Jay space: white walls, creamy bed-sheets, vintage record-player sitting on a side-table, lounge chair. It was still late afternoon, so golden sunlight shone past the cracks in the blinds and cast a shimmering glow throughout the space.
“I’ll miss you, too,” you said softly. Jay kissed your cheek before resting you on the king-sized bed. You pulled your clothes off quickly, not wanting to waste a second. Jay had the same idea, tossing his suit jacket and pants onto the lounge chair.
“Iron those for me later, will you?” He strided over to his nightstand to get a condom. While he did so, you began prepping yourself, sliding two fingers in and out of your warm pussy while you rubbed your clit.
“I will, Jay,” you said. When you saw him approach you, you stopped playing with yourself and leaned down on your elbows. Your mouth watered at the sight of his erect cock.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Jay crawled on top of you and kissed you deeply. His hands ran along the sides of your bare skin, feeling their contours. You had done this with him so many times, but he always managed to make it feel as though he were exploring uncharted territories every time he kissed you. “Do you mind if we do missionary?”
“I’d like that,” you breathed out. You traced your hands along his arms, feeling the taut, tense muscle.
“Good,” Jay said. “I want to see your face.” He gave his cock a few tugs before he slid inside of you with a groan. The stretch was delicious, as usual, and your toes curled as he pushed himself in. Jay gave you both some time to adjust, his eyes closed tightly shut. He owned them and began to move, your creamy pussy welcoming his hard length.
Your hands grasped the back of his neck, stroking the soft hair. “I’ll really miss you,” you said, gasping in between words. Jay’s pace was slow and purposeful, his cock teasing the gummy wall of your G-spot. The bed creaked every time he thrusted into you.
“I’ll miss you more,” he said, driving his cock deeper and deeper into your pussy. “You have no clue just how badly I want you there with me.” Jay’s face was contorted in pleasure, and he dipped down low to suck on your neck.
“No marks,” you whined, trying to push his face away. “I’m seeing Sungyeon in a few days…”
“Just tell her it was your boyfriend,” Jay mumbled against your neck, nibbling the tender skin. He was always like this just before he went away, clingy and needy. “Or a hookup. I don’t care.”
“Oh,” you sighed. How could you argue with him when his cock felt so good? He canted his hips into yours at an even pace. He never rushed a thing. Even the way he gave you hickeys was careful and slow.
Jay pulled out of you, and you protested at the sudden emptiness. “Want to taste you before I go,” he said, pressing kisses from your neck to your breasts to your belly-button. Then he lavished attention on your inner thighs, sucking red marks onto them. His lips smacked against your soft skin, and he caressed your legs gently with his large hands. Sometimes Jay would put on his old rnb playlist when you two made love, but you liked this, too, when you could hear everything.
After he had kissed every square inch of your thighs, Jay gently parted your vulva lips. He pecked your clit, too, which made you giggle. The laughs choked in your throat as he began to lave his tongue over your sensitive pearl, ever so softly. He alternated between flicking his tongue and making a swirling motion. Jay’s hands clutched your waist, holding you in place. Your hands threaded into his dark, well-kept hair, and you let out a moan.
Jay brought you to the brink before he pulled away, swallowing in air. “You taste so sweet,” he said. “So sweet.”
“All yours,” you said.
Jay lifted his head back up so that he was face to face with you. “Come taste how sweet you are, baby.” You kissed him, and he stuck his tongue into your mouth so you could better taste your arousal. Your tongues played hide and seek with each other- when Jay would retract his, you would suck it back into your mouth, and vice versa.
You felt his cock bump the tip of your entrance, and he plunged himself into you once more. You wrapped your legs around him, driving him deeper inside of you. You loved it when his chest pressed against your, when every single part of you felt connected. Jay rocked his hips against yours slowly, lovingly, and you basked in the glow.
After a while, Jay rolled off of you. He planted a kiss on your forehead and held you close, wrapping both arms around you. “Did you want me to finish you off?” Jay shook his head and kissed your neck as he nuzzled into you from behind.
“Wasn’t the point,” he murmured. “Did you want to finish?”
“Wasn’t the point for me either,” you said softly.
You fell asleep like that, tightly ensconced in Jay’s embrace.
–
You hadn’t exactly meant to start fucking your stepdad. It had started even before your mother had passed. Jay would come inside your room to talk, and you welcomed his company. He was funny, witty, and a good listener. Before you went to work in the mornings, if your mother wasn’t around, he would give you kisses on the cheek as a goodbye. Then the kisses turned into pecks on the lips, which turned into long, slow kisses that left your head spinning.
The first time he fucked you was when your showerhead had started to act strange. You had wrapped a towel around yourself and called his name. As he pushed past you to examine the problem, your towel had come loose, exposing everything to him. Jay had taken you on the counter mere minutes later, leaving the shower running and shoving a pair of panties in your mouth to muffle the sound.
For some reason, you had thought that your mother’s death would have killed any chemistry between the two of you. On the contrary; Jay had taken you into the funeral home’s bathroom and fucked you in there. You figured it was a coping mechanism, or something.
In hindsight, nothing about your dynamic had really changed after your mother’s passing. You still talked regularly, you still had frequent sex (frequent enough that Jay begged you to go on birth control), and you still loved to cook for him.
–
You woke up a few hours later. Jay was already staring at you, a soft smile on his face. “Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he said jokingly.
“What time is it really?”
Jay glanced at the clock on his nightstand. “6:38.”
“Ah, I’ll have to rewarm the pasta…”
“It’s no rush,” Jay said, stroking your shoulder. “Not that hungry anymore.”
You smiled and kissed his nose playfully. “You’re full?”
“For now,” Jay said. “I might need more later.”
“Don’t you dare leave any more marks,” you said. “Sungyeon won’t leave me alone if you do.”
“Are you sure you’re worried about Sungyeon, or her scrawny brother?”
You snorted. “Sunghoon? I’m not worried about him.”
“You told me you had a little crush on him,” Jay replied.
“It’s just a crush. It’s nothing. He probably wouldn’t even know what to do with a woman.” It was a partial lie. You had seen women who definitely weren’t Sungyeon’s friends slip into the Park household. Many of them were repeat visitors, so you figured that Sunghoon probably was good. But what Jay didn’t know wouldn’t kill him.
“Probably not,” Jay said with a sniff. “Kids like that only want one thing, and they’re not good at it.”
“Not like you,” you said.
Jay grinned and kissed your lips. “Exactly. I take care of you, don’t I?”
“So well, Jay.” You started to draw little patterns on his chest. “So, so well.”
Jay rolled you on top of him, hands traveling down to our lower back. “You need me to take care of you again?”
“Please.”
You didn’t get to eat dinner until 10 o’clock.
–
You had Saturday off, but Jay still had work to finish up at the office before he left for his business trip on Monday. You agreed to go grocery shopping together after work so you could have Sunday all to yourselves. Sungyeon was also free, so you decided to go around to her place. She lived a few houses away from your place; you had met her while you were on a jog. Neither of you were the most sociable people, so it was great to have a friend who was so calm and who lived so close.
It helped that she had a cute older brother. He was only a few years older, and he had recently moved back home due to the poor economy. Their parents made good money, but he had wanted to be independent from his parents when he turned 18. You knew all this because Sungyeon told you, not because Sunghoon had ever spoken with you about anything even remotely personal. He treated you like a houseguest. You didn’t mind because you had Jay, but in the brief moments when you considered getting into a more traditional relationship, Sunghoon was always the first person to come to mind.
You walked over to Sungyeon’s house, a two-storied building not at all dissimilar to your own. You clambered up the steps and rang the doorbell.
“Door’s open,” she called, so you let yourself in and locked the door behind you. “I’m in the kitchen!”
You had come over to spend the morning and afternoon watching Marvel movies, and Sungyeon had promised to make snacks. Indeed, when you walked into the kitchen, you smelled something sweet yet burnt. Sungyeon was dropping a pan of partially burnt Rice Krispie squares onto the stovetop.
“How’d you fuck up Rice Krispies?” you asked, grabbing a knife from their drawer.
“Shut up,” Sungyeon whined. “I was trying to be domestic. For you. Because I care.”
“Should have cared about setting an oven timer,” you retorted, cutting a chunk out of the Rice Krispies.
Sungyeon frowned. “Don’t eat that. It’s still hot.”
“Won’t even bother me,” you said. You used the knife to place the gooey treat onto a paper towel and raised it to your lips. One bite and your mouth was on fire. “Ow!”
“Dumbass,” Sungyeon grumbled. You fanned your mouth frantically and she meandered while she got you a glass of water, relishing in your despair.
As you tearfully gulped down the water, Sunghoon walked into the kitchen. He was wearing a baggy gray T-shirt over black sweatpants, and he looked exhausted. He was a serial gamer, so chances were he stayed up playing League or Overwatch with his friends Heeseung or Jake. He looked at you, then Sungyeon. “What’s that smell?”
“I made Rice Krispie squares,” Sungyeon muttered. “But they’re bu-,”
Sunghoon was already cutting a piece out of the pan and shoving it into his mouth. He coughed. “Fuck, it’s hot.” He kept eating it despite the apparent pain, wandering back upstairs.
“Two freaks,” Sungyeon said, rubbing your back.
Once you caught your breath, you said, “Maybe we should also get some cereal.”
Sungyeon breathed out a defeated sigh. “Probably the best idea.” You got the bowls and spoons, and she got the cereal and milk. Once you had prepared your bowls, you set out to the living room. Sungyeon accidentally knocked into you, spilling milk over your front.
“What’s up with you today?” you said with a smile, putting your cereal down.
“Mercury retrograde,” she said. “You can go put your hoodie in the wash. I’ll bring it to you on Monday. Get something out of my closet if you want.”
“Gracias,” you said, heading up the stairs. Their laundry room was located conveniently on the second floor, so all you had to do was take a hoodie from Sungyeon’s room and change in the laundry room. When you took off your tank top, you examined it carefully to make sure that you didn’t get any milk on that as well. The last thing you needed was to smell warm milk as you watched your movie. As you looked down at your chest, you noticed that Sunghoon had left his hamper of dirty clothes here. You knew it was his because you had seen him wear every shirt in the pile at least fifty times since you had known him.
“Wow,” you heard a voice say. You turned and saw Sunghoon, standing behind you with his arms crossed. “You hide them well.” His eyes, you realized, were trained directly on your chest, and a faint smile graced his lips.
“I don’t hide them at all,” you said. “You just haven’t been looking.” No way were you going to pass up an opportunity to flirt with Sunghoon. Given your status as his sister’s friend and his casual sex habit, you doubted anything would come of it anyways. You were certain that Jay probably had wandering eyes, too.
“Maybe you’re right,” Sunghoon said. He stepped a little closer and tapped your neck. “Who gave you this?”
You tilted your head. “Why do you care?”
Sunghoon rested his hand on your shoulder, his thumb pulling at the strap of your tank top. “I need to know who my competition is.”
“Didn’t realize there was a competition.”
Sunghoon lifted his hand away, shoving it into his sweatpants pocket. “Then you haven’t been looking.”
You shrugged your hoodie on over your tank top. “I was looking for years, actually. You missed your opportunity.”
Sunghoon scrunched his nose, and you didn’t think he knew how cute he looked. “You didn’t act like you were interested.”
Leaning against the washing machine, you looked him up and down. “Then you don’t know shit about women.”
He leaned in, his smirk growing. “I know a lot about women. You gonna let me show you, or are you gonna dub me?”
You paused, weighing your options. Finally, you walked past him, turning around at the last minute to say, “I’m going to go watch Marvel movies with your sister.”
“Can I join you?”
“Nice try.”
Sunghoon shrugged and started walking to his room. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t try.”
You shook your head and went down to remake your bowl of cereal. So now you knew that Sunghoon really was interested in you, after years of ignoring you. You wouldn’t let it phase you, though. You had Jay. Sungyeon didn’t even know that you weren’t a virgin, let alone that you were fucking your ex-stepdad. You didn’t know if you could ever tell anyone about your arrangement.
–
When Jay picked you up from Sungyeon’s place, you didn’t dare mention what happened with Sunghoon to you. Normally, you mentioned anything that happened with a man, and Jay would lament about the many women at the office who wanted him. But you couldn’t talk about Sunghoon, not when he had made your heart race like that.
“I was thinking,” Jay began, driving with one hand, the other resting on your thigh, “we could go to this new store. They have these novelty fruits, like blue carrots. Does that sound good to you?”
“Sounds great, Jay,” you said, a little absent-mindedly.
Jay caught the hint of distance in your tone. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
You sighed, hating how it felt to lie to Jay. “It’s silly but…I really will miss you when you go away. This time it’s different, you know?”
Jay squeezed your thigh. “I know what you mean. I’ll be back before you know it, hm? I’ll bring you back some souvenirs, too.”
You leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, which made him briefly smile at you before returning his attention to the road. “Okay, Jay.”
“Hey,” Jay said. “I have an idea. Let’s go to a restaurant. Right now. Let me take you someplace.”
Looking down at your outfit - shorts and Sungyeon’s hoodie - you frowned. “I can’t go out like this.”
“Please. You look beautiful no matter what you wear,” he said, squeezing your thigh again. “We don’t have to go anywhere fancy, just a place with good food. Someplace we haven’t tried.”
That was how you ended up at a sweet, 50’s inspired diner. You and Jay sat on opposite sides of the booth and pored over the menu together. When the waiter came over, he jabbed his pen at you and Jay. “So, what can I get you and your…”
“Stepdaughter,” Jay said with a terse smile. When you two went out, it was almost inevitable that someone would ask about your relationship. You had developed an unofficial way of answering the question: when you wanted to return to a place, you would say that Jay was your stepdad. When you wanted to try a place out just once, he would call you his girlfriend. It always made your heart flutter when he addressed you as his girlfriend, even though it seemed far too juvenile a term for your relationship.
The waiter smiled and took your orders. As you ate, you couldn’t help the thoughts of Sunghoon from returning. Sunghoon slouching around in his rumpled, baggy clothes, so different from the suits and starched button-ups Jay liked to wear. So boyish and immature in contrast to Jay’s maturity and poise. So bold.
Your food came, and you picked at it. You hated that you were even considering it, what life could be like if you were dating someone your own age, someone who wasn’t so hopelessly entangled in your past. Someone your mom hadn’t fucked.
Jay called your name softly. “Come sit next to me,” he said, scooting over and dragging his food over to the side. You pushed your plate over and trudged to his side of the table. Jay wrapped his arm around you and wiped a crumb from your cheek.
“Are you sure it’s just the trip?” he asked quietly.
You hesitated, then decided to tell a half-truth. “I wish we could be normal sometimes,” you admitted.
Jay took in a sharp intake of breath, looking down at his lap. Then he gave you a small smile. “Me too,” he said quietly. “Sometimes I wish I was 15 years younger, or you were 15 years older. But what we have is something special, something really magical. I wouldn’t give that up for anything, would you?”
“No,” you said. “I wouldn’t.” Not even Sunghoon.
Jay ran his thumb on your lips. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really am. Being with an old man like me can’t be easy…”
“You’re not old at all,” you protested. “Not to me, not at all.”
Jay laughed quietly and leaned in to give you a gentle kiss. His mouth tasted like the milkshake he had been drinking, and you ran your tongue along his lips to lap up all of the flavour. His fingers gently caressed your neck in a soothing motion as you continued to kiss. It felt so right, so sweet.
Someone cleared their throat. “Excuse me,” the waiter said timidly. “Just wanted to know if you guys were doing all right over here?” HIs eyes were confused, darting between you and Jay rapidly.
Jay pulled away from you and nodded. “Yeah, great, thanks.” The waiter sped away, nearly tripping over his shoes. Jay frowned. “What’s up with him?”
“You told him you were my stepdad this time,” you said.
Jay smacked his forehead. “Damn, that’s right. Shame. The food here is really good.”
In spite of yourself, you laughed.
–
On Monday morning, you watched as Jay drove away. You had given him the best send-off you could think of: marathon sex from Saturday night to Sunday night, and a final, romantic round on the kitchen counter before he left. You sighed and headed indoors to get changed for work.
Just as you were putting your pants on, you heard a knock on the door. You zipped up your pants and buttoned up your shirt as you walked to the door. You glanced at the monitor, and you saw Sunghoon shuffling outside the door, holding something.
You opened the door and Sunghoon waved. “I have your hoodie,” Sunghoon said. “Sungyeon’s busy tonight, but she wanted to get it to you as soon as possible.”
“Did she,” you said, accepting the hoodie, “or did you want an excuse to come here?”
Sunghoon laughed. “You caught me. Can you blame me?”
“Very easily,” you said. “I have to go to work in ten minutes, so you’d better make this quick.”
“That’s enough time,” Sunghoon said. “Just wanted to talk. Can I come in?”
You shrugged and gestured for him to come inside. Sunghoon sniffed the air as he moved further inside your house. He had been over a few times just to drop Sungyeon off or steal a snack before heading back to his place. Sungyeon liked coming over because she thought your stepdad was hot. It was so hard to pretend like you didn’t agree with her. “Did you…”
“Did…I what?”
Sunghoon lingered by your kitchen’s counter. “It smells like sex in here. Most people aren’t linking at 8 in the morning. So…you have a man?”
“Something like that,” you mumbled, embarrassed at having been caught. You had never really noticed the smell, but now that you were aware of it your face burnt. “He…slept over.”
“Nothing serious?” Sunghoon unzipped his hoodie slightly, feigning being overheated.
“We’re not…exclusive,” you said slowly. “But we’ve never talked about finding other people, if that makes any sense? It’s weird. I don’t know.”
“A situationship,” Sunghoon said, snapping his fingers.
“I guess.”
“Anyone I know?”
You winced. “Don’t know.”
“How cryptic. Anyways, I’m not looking for anything serious,” Sunghoon said. “Don’t get me wrong. Just...well, I’ll be blunt. You’re hot.”
You had been by the kitchen table, packing your purse up as you talked, but now your hand froze. Sunghoon continued talking. “I came to you last night,” he said, voice growing lower. “You wanna know what I thought about?”
You glanced at your phone’s screen to check the time. “What, Sunghoon?”
“I thought about how good your tits would look covered in my cum,” he said, “or how’d they look soapy from the shower. I imagined fucking you in the shower, pressing your tits against the glass while I fuck you from behind.”
Your eyes widened. The words were going straight to your pussy, and you hated your body for betraying you. “Sunghoon…”
“It’s so hard acting like I don’t want you,” Sunghoon continued. “Sungyeon doesn’t want me fucking one of her friends, so I’ve had to just pretend like you aren’t one of the sexiest women I’ve seen. I’m so sick of it. I know you want me too.”
“Sunghoon, I have to go.”
Sunghoon sighed and started to walk off. “Fine,” he mumbled.
“But,” you said carefully. He turned around, a hopeful look on his face. You counted the days in your head. You were busy at work today, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but… “Come over on Thursday at eleven.” Jay would be coming home on Friday, so there was no way he would catch you two.
Sunghoon grinned, revealing his darling little fangs. “Seriously?”
“‘Seriously’,” you mocked. “‘Oh, boy, I’m getting pussy!’”
“I’m not even listening to you,” Sunghoon said. “I’m already thinking about all the things I’m going to do to you. If you don’t mind being late for work, I could show you.”
“Tempting offer, but I really do have to go,” you said.
“So hardworking,” Sunghoon said sarcastically. “All right, I’ll see you on Thursday.”
That night, you were pent up, so you decided to play with yourself. When Jay wasn’t around, normally you would focus your thoughts on him, on some fantasy, something you wanted to try with him. But your thoughts kept shifting towards Sunghoon, his slight build, his charming smile, his frustrating indifference, how his hands would feel all over your body. You thought about what he said, about him pressing you against the shower, cold glass pressing against your tits.
When you came, you whimpered his name.
–
You ended up heading to Sungyeon’s on Wednesday after all. Your extra shift had gotten picked up at the last minute, so you decided to spend the evening with her. Generally, when Jay went on trips, you would stay by her. You hated to be alone in your big, empty house.
Sunghoon was nowhere to be seen, thankfully. The things you had said to him yesterday didn’t feel real or concrete. Just a fantasy the two of you had came up with, talking out loud. You snuggled closer to Sungyeon as you two sat on the couch, watching a Spiderman movie. Sungyeon had pulled a large blanket over the two of you.
“What are you guys watching?” Sunghoon asked. You looked up and squinted at him. He was wearing plain clothes as usual, his hair tousled.
“Look at the screen, dumbass,” Sungyeon snapped.
“That’s just Jake Gyllenhaal,” he sniffed. Sunghoon sat down beside you casually. You glanced at Sungyeon, but she was staring at the screen, eating her second, newly improved batch of Rice Krispie treats. You tried to focus on the screen, but Sunghoon’s body was radiating so much heat.
“You’re hogging the blanket,” Sunghoon whispered to you. “I’m freezing.”
“Don’t try anything,” you said in a low, conspiratorial voice. “I already promised you that we’d hang on Thursday.”
“I’m innocent,” Sunghoon said. “Now blanket.”
You reluctantly covered him with the blanket, and after that he was still. Until, of course, he rested his hand on your thigh. Just that touch alone felt delicious. Too delicious. You wondered if Jay was doing something similar on his trip, letting other women touch him. The thought made your stomach churn.
As if by magic, your phone started to vibrate.
“Who’s that?” Sungyeon asked.
“My stepdad,” you said. Jay liked to call you to check up on you. You answered the call there, ignoring the burning sensation of Sunghoon’s hand slowly rubbing your thigh, moving higher and higher. “Hello?”
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said, his voice sleepy and husky. Sexy. “How are you?”
“Good,” you said. “How are you?”
“I could be better. I’m missing you,” Jay said. “What are you wearing right now?”
Your face burned, and you prayed that Sunghoon or Sungyeon didn’t hear it. “I’m at Sungyeon’s,” you said neutrally. “We’re watching Spiderman.”
“I don’t care,” he said. “Go to the bathroom or someplace private.”
You swallowed and stood up. “I have to take this,” you said to Sungyeon. “It’s important.”
Sungyeon nodded and popped another bite of Rice Krispies into her mouth. You didn’t get a look at Sunghoon before you hurried away to the guest bathroom upstairs. Locking the door, you learned against the door. “Oh, my God. You can’t just do that. They almost heard.”
“I’m sorry,” he said in that same low tone. It made your stomach roil in pleasure. “Just had to hear your voice. Now tell me what you’re wearing.”
“Just a hoodie and shorts,” you said.
“And underneath your hoodie?”
“My tank top and…my bra.”
“Which bra? One I got you?”
“Yeah, the pink set you got me for my last birthday,” you said, reminiscing on that particular memory. He had practically fainted the first time he had seen you in it. “I’m wearing the matching panties too.”
Jay’s breath hitched, and you heard a squelching sound. “Fuck. Would you mind sending me a picture? Please?”
He had never asked you for nudes before, so he really must have been hard up. “Of course,” you said, resting the phone down momentarily as you flicked the light on. “I’m taking my hoodie off right now,” you whispered into the phone. “Now, I’m taking my shorts off…my tank top…you really wanna see?”
“Yes, please,” Jay said pleadingly.
Once you had fully stripped down, you flashed a quick picture of yourself on your knees, phone held high. He always liked you when you were in your most natural state, so you figured he would want a casual picture. You sent it to him, anticipating his reaction as you put the phone to your ear again.
“Jesus fuck,” was his quiet response. “So perfect. No one else gets to see you like that, right?”
“Of course not,” you said quickly. “Just you, always just you.”
“Wish I could tear that off of you right now,” Jay said. “I’d rip that thong off with my teeth, eat your needy little pussy for an hour straight.”
“I wish you would,” you said, longing creeping into your voice. “I wish you were here. I haven’t touched myself once since you left.”
“You haven’t?”
Of course you had. “No,” you whispered. “My fingers aren’t as good as yours are…or your dick.”
“Good fucking girl,” Jay said, his voice beginning to crack. “Good. I’ll make you cum over and over again when I get back. I’ll make you cum on my tongue, on my fingers, on my cock, until you can’t think. You’d like that, right?”
“I would,” you said. Your head was starting to grow cloudy, and you dipped your fingers into your panties to deal with the growing need there. Your clit was hot and you were already dripping with arousal.
“Are you touching yourself right now?”
“I am.”
“So, so good,” Jay said. “Can’t wait to reward you when I get home, give you everything a good girl deserves. Gonna fuck you in every room in the house, until you’re begging for me to stop.”
“I’d never want you to stop,” you said, circling your fingers on your clit and fighting back your moans. You could be loud, and the Park siblings were both downstairs.
“Of course you wouldn’t,” he said, and it sounded like he was straining just as much as you were. “Your body will be exhausted but you love my cock so much that you’d just let me keep fucking you. I won’t be able to stop myself. Just a few days without your needy little pussy and I’m already experiencing withdrawal. I won’t even make it past the door, I’ll push you down into the hallway and fuck you on the floor.”
You bit down on your lip hard, speeding up your movements. You were going to cum in record time, but you didn’t care.
Jay kept going. “Going to mount you’re a bitch, fuck you from behind. It’s been so long since we did doggy, I can’t stop thinking about it. I love seeing your pretty face, but I love watching the way your ass jiggles when I grab your hips and just pound away.”
“Close already,” you said quietly.
“Me too.”
“Want you to fuck me like a bitch,” you said. “Want you to use me, Jay. Want you to treat me like your plaything.”
“Fuck,” Jay said. “Fuck, I’m going to. Just wait for me… Ah, fuck, cum now, sweetheart. Fucking cum!”
Your orgasm hit you so deeply that you had to clench your eyes shut and grit your teeth together. Your phone tumbled out of your grasp, and you could hear Jay grunting and panting your name. You hastily picked it up, checking for cracks.
“Did you drop your phone?”
“Yeah,” you said with a slight giggle. “God, that was good.”
Jay sighed. “Sorry to bother you,” he said contritely. The shift in tone made you giggle again.
“That’s all right,” you said. “I missed your voice.”
“I called you yesterday, silly.”
“Miss you all the time.”
Jay laughed as well, the sound filling you with warmth. “I missed you too.”
You didn’t say I love you to each other, never did, so instead you said, “Take care.”
“You too. Enjoy your movies.”
You hung up on him and stared down at yourself. Panties dressed with your own juices, clothes off, body coated in your own sweat. You were in shambles. You bustled about the bathroom, cleaning up quietly. Once you looked presentable, you opened the door.
Sunghoon nearly tumbled into the bathroom, but he righted himself quickly. “Stepdad my ass,” he barked. “‘I-I-I’m cumming! Uwah!’”
“Keep your voice down! And I don’t sound like that,” you snapped. “Why were you listening in on me?”
“You left in such a rush, I came up here to make sure that you were okay,” Sunghoon replied. “I guess you were really okay. Your legs are shaking and everything.”
You looked down at your legs, which were indeed quivering. “It’s none of your business,” you said.
“It is,” Sunghoon said, blocking your path. “You said it wasn’t serious, but here you are having phone sex with him.”
“It’s not serious.”
Sunghoon laughed sarcastically. “So unserious that you say that you miss him when he’s gone, right?”
“Oh, so you don’t tell your boys that you miss them?”
Sunghoon looked offended. “No.”
“Then you are an unfeeling man. Now move. I’m missing the movie.”
“I’ll spoil it for you. Spiderman fucking dies.”
“No, he doesn’t.” You sighed and pocketed your phone. “Look, we’re still on for Thursday, right?”
Sunghoon screwed his lips up to the side. “Yeah, we are.”
“So don’t worry about who else I’m fucking,” you said. “And I won’t worry about who you’re fucking. Okay?”
“Fine,” he said, moving aside, “but you’re a real shameless little slut, you know that?”
“Oh, don’t call me that,” you said, heading downstairs. “It’ll turn me on.”
“That’s why I called you that,” Sunghoon said, smacking your ass as you walked.
Thankfully, Sunghoon left you and Sungyeon alone, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were doing something horribly wrong.
–
Thursday evening rolled around, and you were at your wit’s end. You didn’t know what other guys liked, not really. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t had experience with other guys, but the bulk of your early adult life had been with Jay. Someone you had lived with, who had seen you at your rock bottom, who didn’t care if you wore pearls and diamonds or greasy sweatpants. You had no clue how to impress someone.
You went to the bathroom and followed a makeup guide on Youtube, pursing your lips. It was a pretty cute look. When Jay got back, you’d do it again when you went on a date and he could introduce you two as your girlfriend.
Dolled up in your best lingerie set - a silky robe over a lacy, barely-there bra with a matching pair of delicate panties and thigh highs - you lounged on your bed. You rarely ever used it for sleeping or even sex, because Jay’s room was bigger, so there was a certain novelty in lying around in it at night.
The doorbell rang. You glanced at the clock on your phone: only 10:45? Sunghoon was early. He must have wanted you worse than you thought. The thought made you smile.
You pranced down the stairs, flicked the foyer light on, and opened the door. Instead of Sunghoon’s lithe frame, Jay stood in front of you, holding a bouquet of gorgeous red roses. His eyes bugged out of his head as he took you in. “Sweetheart,” he said slowly, “you look phenomenal. Hah, did you know I was coming home early? I wanted to surprise you.”
You took the bouquet of roses from him, desperately trying to fight the growing anxiety within you. You had never gotten Sunghoon’s number, so there was no way to contact him. You could ask Sungyeon, but it was so late that she’d question why you wanted it. “I didn’t know,” you murmured. “I was trying out the look I was going to do tomorrow.”
“I took a red eye here,” Jay said. You placed the bouquet on a nearby coffee table. Jay’s eyes lingered on your chest on their slow journey up and down your body. “God, you’re a work of art.” Jay took his suit jacket off and tossed it to the side.
“You know, Jay,” you began slowly. “I’m actually feeling a bit, uh, tired.”
“Really?” Jay loosened his tie. “You don’t look tired to me.”
“Well, I am, and…��
His lips pressed onto yours and you felt your defenses crumbling. Damn him. “When I said I’d fuck you in the doorway,” Jay said, “I meant it.” With that, Jay used his body weight to force you onto the floor as nicely as he could. Even through his dress pants, you could feel his hard length, and despite your growing horror, it made you feel wet. Maybe, Sunghoon would get cold feet. Maybe he was lying about wanting to fuck you. You comforted yourself with this thought.
Soon, Jay was bucking his hips into your warm, desperate pussy. Your panties had been pushed to the side, your bra was askew, and your thigh highs had been ripped. Your arms held yourself upright as he took you from behind, just the way he said. Worst of all, Jay had left the door swinging open. You were facing outside, and the foyer light was still on. Anyone could see you as he fucked you.
“Missed you,” he groaned. “Missed this pussy. I can tell it missed me, too.” His hands were wrapped loosely around your neck, applying comfortable pressure.
You couldn’t even tell him that you missed him in good faith. You let out a pathetic little moan, your eyes trained on the darkness. To your terror, you saw a dark figure shifting, a phone light illuminating its way. It was coming towards your house.
You didn’t know if Jay saw him, because he didn’t stop. His dick reached inside of you so nicely, but the fear clogged your throat.
The figure stepped into the light, revealing Sunghoon. His mouth was agape, and he stared at you, then at Jay, then back at you, then at your tits. It was humiliating beyond words.
“What the fuck?” Sunghoon asked. “The guy who’s been cucking me is Mr. Park? Your fucking stepdad?”
Jay, mysteriously, didn’t stop fucking you. He merely slowed down, and his grip on your throat moved to your midsection. “And you’re the skinny punk who has a crush on her, right?”
“She has a crush on me,” Sunghoon retorted. “She invited me here to fuck.”
Jay finally stopped, pulling out of you. You groaned, unable to face him. “Is that true?”
You nodded. “Yeah,” you said weakly. “Sorry, Jay. I’m really sorry.”
“We’ll talk about that later,” Jay said. “Are you going to tell anyone?”
“Me?” Sunghoon pointed at himself in this overly ostentatious way that pissed you off. “Am I going to tell anyone that you’re fucking your dead wife’s daughter? Maybe. Why shouldn’t I?”
Jay swallowed audibly. “I’ll let you get what you wanted.”
“Jay!” At your outburst, Jay lightly pinched your side.
“You wanted it,” he said, his voice an irate growl. “You wanted to be a slut and fuck another man, so now you’re getting exactly what you wanted.”
Sunghoon still looked aghast, but from your angle you could see a bulge forming under his sweatpants. “You’ll really let me have her?”
“I will,” Jay said. “You just can’t cum inside her.”
Sunghoon’s Adam’s apple bobbed in anticipation. “Can I use her mouth?”
“Sure you can,” Jay said. “I don’t use it often, so maybe she’ll be a little rusty.”
You hated that they were talking about you like you weren’t around, but you’d be lying if you said that it wasn’t a little thrilling. You watched as Sunghoon shut the door behind him and tugged his sweatpants down.
“How long have you two been fucking?” he asked, lowering his boxers. He wasn’t as girthy as Jay, but he seemed like he was the same length, if not a little longer.
“Don’t ask questions,” Jay said, and you could feel his cockhead bullying its way into your pussy.
“Fine,” Sunghoom mumbled. Your arms were still braced for doggy, so all Sunghoon had to do was thrust his cock into your mouth, guiding it in with his hand. He groaned as soon as the wetness of your mouth wrapped around his dick.
“She’s good, right?” Jay was now returning to his original pace, slamming into you steadily. He felt so good, intruding inside of your walls. “She’s always…known how to use that big mouth of hers…”
“I see why you started fucking her,” Sunghoon said, fucking your mouth slowly. He could hardly talk, his voice airy already. “She feels good.” It had been so long since you had had a cock in your mouth, and you liked the feeling of having both of your holes filled. You briefly pulled away from his cock to spit on the tile. After wrapping your lips around your teeth, Sunghoon pushed his cock back into your mouth impatiently.
“She’s an angel to me,” Jay said with a wry chuckle, and it made you happy that he wasn’t so mad at you that he couldn’t say anything nice. A hand groped at your breasts, Sunghoon’s pale hands fondling your body.
“I’m jealous,” Sunghoon said. “Wanted to fuck her for years.”
“You can be a little rougher with her,” Jay said, and as he spoke you could feel his pace increasing. He put his hands around your waist and started dragging you on his cock harshly. “Like this.”
Sunghoon took Jay’s advice and grasped both of your cheeks, taking control of your head. He shunted into your mouth like it was a pussy, and what was a mildly uncomfortable experience became his cock choking you. Your mouth filled with spit, and it ran down your neck. You gagged against Sunghoon, not only because of the face-fucking but because of the cock fucking you from the other side.
“Can I fuck her…once you’re done with her?” Sunghoon asked, breathing clearly laboured.
“Sure, buddy,” Jay said. Buddy?
Sunghoon grunted and ravaged your mouth with his cock, the taste overpowering your senses. Your pussy was being worn out by Jay’s dick, and the stimulation was driving you insane.
“Gonna cum inside you,” Jay said. “You aren’t even close to cumming, are you?”
Instead of answering, you moaned against Sunghoon’s cock again. Your arms were growing weak from holding yourself up while the two men used you.
Jay’s cock throbbed inside of you, signaling his imminent release. With a final grunt, he came inside of you, filling your pussy with his cum. “Fuck,” Jay said, and you could hear him rising to his feet. “That was good. Your turn, Seungmin.”
“Sunghoon.”
“Right.”
Sunghoon finally let go of your head and pulled his cock out of your mouth. You gasped for air, and saliva dripped onto the floor. Your arms shook from the exertion.
“Hold her arms,” Jay said, pointing at you. “She’s not gonna be able to hold herself up.”
“What, you think I’ve never fucked before?” Sunghoon snapped, taking the opportunity to run his hands over your body. Unlike Jay’s touch, which always brought a sense of familiarity, Sunghoon was explorative, greedy.
“I don’t know what you’ve done,” Jay said, “but you’re just a little boy to me. I want to make sure you’re fucking my girl right.”
“What, are you going to coach me?” Sunghoon held your wrists behind you in one large hand, his other hand working his cock a few times.
“I’m starting to think I’ll have to,” Jay replied.
“Don’t you dare,” Sunghoon said. His cock probed the inside of your walls, and you gasped. It was all just skin and nerve endings, but you could feel the difference immediately. Sunghoon pulled you back so that you were flush against his chest, using his hips to fuck into you cautiously.
“Turn her around,” Jay said. “I want to see her.”
“Cuck,” Sunghoon muttered, but he obliged, shifting you so that Jay saw you. Jay was leaning against the wall adjacent to the door. He had tugged his boxers back on and his hair was completely matted with sweat. His eyes were cold, colder than you had ever seen them, and your lips trembled.
“You can enjoy it,” Jay said quietly. “I’ve always known you were a bit of a whore.”
“I’m not,” you protested. “I’m not a whore…” Sunghoon plunged his cock into you, brushing against your G-spot, and you let out a cry.
Jay’s gaze remained cold, almost analytical. “If she moans like a whore, fucks like a whore…”
The worst part was you were enjoying it. You liked the way that Sunghoon fucked you. He fucked like a rabbit, energetic and youthful. He grunted and groaned like he was merely trying to chase his own pleasure. Up until today, Jay had always tried to ensure that you enjoyed sex, but they were both treating you like a sexy toy.
You matched Sunghoon’s movements, grinding down onto him when he thrusted into you. They had called you a whore, and you weren’t going to turn down that label. You moaned over and over again.
“Is she always so loud?” Sunghoon asked.
“Normally, she is,” Jay said, and a ghost of affection appeared on his face again.
Sunghoon bucked his hips into you a few more times, but you could feel his cock twitching already. “Shit, where can I cum?”
“You’re cumming already?” Jay asked with a slight chuckle.
Sunghoon didn’t respond, instead yanking his cock out of you with another groan. He pushed you so that you were on your knees once more, stood up, and rained his cum onto your lower back. Then he let go of you and crouched back into the floor, breathing in slowly. Once he caught his breath, he looked at Jay. “Your stepdaughter blueballed me for days,” Sunghoon hissed. “I’m surprised I didn’t cum in her immediately.
You were so overwhelmed that you couldn’t be assed to listen to Sunghoon complain anymore. Instead, you slumped onto the floor completely, cheek resting on the tile once more.
“Poor thing is all tired out,” you heard Jay say sympathetically. After that, you entered a haze of half-wakeness and half-slumber. You didn’t know how much time had passed when you felt someone’s cockhead touching your pussy.
What fascinated you was that you didn’t know whose it was.
#enha smut#enhypen smut#kpop smut#kpop fanfiction#jay x reader#enhypen hard hours#sunghoon x reader#jay smut#park jongseong smut#jongseong smut#park sunghoon smut#sunghoon smut#I wrote this with one hand.
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ARE YOU SIDING WITH @rusmii NOW TSU? HUH IS THIS AN ATTCK TO ALL FYODOR STANS
hey bungo stray dogs fans i got a math problem for you to solve!
fyodor has all four of his limbs in tact and he walks freely with the antidote in his hands. as he boards the helicopter to escape, oh no! dazai is actually alive and chuuya isn't a vampire! with the power of friendship, they set him up in which a helicopter takes him up into the sky and it spins at a speed of 56 kmph! finally the helicopter fucking crashes into a building and falls down. the oil spills and lights up and the helicopter fucking explodes causing fyodor to get crushed. the helicopter explosion was recorded 1576°C and all that is left is fyodor's arm.
how many limbs does he have left?
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so basically you know what would be really funny like just for shits and giggles here
fucking Nikolai in front of Fyodor (if Fyodors alive bcs it was planned blah blah blah Fyodors just alive for some reason) bcs our silly little guy did not deserve what happened to him in the newest chapter 🙁
JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES HERE,
-🫧
For the giggles I’ll just say yes. But I can’t write threesomes (I could try, though I doubt my abilities) so let’s just say you recorded it, and told him you were going to send it to fyodor.
Also sorry not sorry to our poor pitiful clown man @me1z0
Dom!reader x sub!Nikolai x fyodor (?)
Reader is gender neutral :>
Warning: pegging (strap can be read as a dick), hair pulling, dirty talk, hand job, a little nipple play, recording
Nikolai was always down for anything and everything you proposed, his playful tendencies made him the experimental type. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with him, with his attitude, but it is very fun once you do catch him off guard. He doesn’t get embarrassed a lot, since he is very shameless, which is why you wanted to try…
“Nikolai,” you called out his name, hands on his waist while one of his leg was raised to his chest and the other thrown over your shoulder. “Ahh~ yes?” He was drooling as he smiled at you, cheeks flushed rosy and filled with heat. His eyes wield lust within them, as if he was the embodiment of lust in that moment. Then you pulled out your phone and proceeded to record him. The male who was so nicely spread out before you tensed a little, eyes curiously glancing at your phone. “Y/n? Are you filming me?” “Yep, so try your hardest to look good, Nikolai. I’ll share the video with fyodor later.” You explained to him in a satisfied and bright tone, practically grinning from ear to ear.
He blinked, he blinked twice more and then repeated your words, “fyodor..? You are going to show this to him?” His heart was pounding as his face turned a darker shade of red. Instead of answering him you just started moving again, holding his waist with one hand and your phone withe the other. This was a little tricky to pull off, but it was worth the effort. Every time your hips met his, his back jerked forwards and arched. “Ah! Ug-ughmm.,!” You noticed how his gaze changed. It was still one filled with pleasure, but a bit fear mixed with the excitement.
Your dick kept sliding in and out of him, it has gotten fairly easy to do so now. All while you captures his erotic expressions with your phone. No matter what angle though, the real thing was much better. His cries and moans were high pitched, as if he was cheering you on to do more. “Mhm!! OhhH, ah-Hahh..! Y/n, hu-ughh.” The little whines he let out were heavenly, the more beautiful voice you’ve ever heard. Despite the sudden addition of the phone, he seems to have recovered already. Those mesmerising cries of his only increased in volume, you couldn’t help but comment, “trying to put on a good show for your dear friend?” He threw his head back, then faced you again with his tongue sticking out, “yeeesh, mhm~ ahhHh, gAahH.”
Since both of your hands were busy, and you had to record him properly, you couldn’t play with his body some more. That shouldn’t become an obstacle for you, so you ordered him to touch himself, “come on Nikolai, play with your nipples and touch yourself. I’ll record all of it~” as if possessed by a spell, he instantly followed your orders. One hand now pinching his chest and the other one jerking himself off. Soon the pleasure was getting overwhelming, sweat was covering his body and tears started to roll down his cheeks. “MhmMM! UghHh, mhmM-…!”more and more vulgar sounds spilled from his lips. His long white hair was open and it stuck to his skin, it didn’t want to part. You changed your pace to a faster one, rubbing your dick against his insides. It was a subconscious decision, after seeing that slutty expression of his you couldn’t help yourself anymore. All you wanted was to ruin this man.
Then you wrapped the hand holding the phone around his leg, the one that was still placed over your shoulder. It was now resting in your elbow, and you leaned down to get closer to him, raising his leg to his chest. He stopped playing with his chest, the hand was now thrown around your neck to hold you closer. The phone was basically inches away from his tears ridden face, capturing every single whimper and groan from him. “How do you like this, Nikolai?” You asked him, smirking behind the camera. Right now he looked no different than a whore, eyes half lidded and rolling to the back of his head and tongue sticking out with drool rolling down his chin. To be honest you weren’t even sure if he could understand you, especially if he can give you a reply. He did open his mouth, but only a series of the most pornographic moans were to be heard, “GaAaHHH, ahHh-mHMM~!! Oh-ohHHHnNn..”
“Good- so, ahHHh, oh-uHHmm, I loOOove- it!! Do-dos- mhm, kuuun” With great efforts he managed to gasp out some pieces of a sentence, hoping you’d understand him. At this point his mind was blank, filled with nothing but the bliss and ecstasy you brought him. He didn’t even care that his dear friend was going to see all of this. Who knows, maybe he’ll be jealous even? You couldn’t help it anymore, this pathetic sight of his was too amusing. “Great answer.” He heard you say, this seductive voice of yours paired with those sugar sweet words send him into a twirl of emotions. As if something inside him snapped, he felt his stomach tingle and the rush of blood. Nikolai tried to quickly warn you about it, panting and shaking as he said, “I’m cloOOse ..! AhhHh, so mHMm, closeee!!”
This was going to be a nice shot, you thought as you encouraged him to continue. “Go on, pretty boy, show me your expression while you cum.” With the last bits of strength you have left, you fastened your pace again, watching his eyes flutter and his member twitch. The amount of precum coating his abdomen was amazing, it looked really lewd. But everything pales in comparison to the face he pulled as he came. “aaAAhHHHMM!!!” wave of thick, white load shoot out of him, coating his hand and your stomach with his body fluids. You slowed down after he came, giving him a short break while you stopped the recording. About whether or not you will actually send it to fyodor, you can decide on that later. His chest rose and sunk the entire time, he still hasn’t calmed down from his high. You didn’t want to let him too, so you soon changed the position, now turning him onto his belly. He was too breathless to talk, and you speculated that he must have lost his voice. Doesn’t matter, because soon you’ll turn your speculations into reality. With a gleeful smile, you whispered into his ear, “Let’s make a second video”
#sub character#sub!character#dom reader#dom!reader#melzo#🫧 anon#sub nikolai#nikolai x y/n#nikolai smut#nikolai bsd
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Spoilers for BSD ch 117
Oh boy.
Max copium! I choose you!
After the little scene with... Fukuchi, I did some slight research.
My conclusion? The ADA and verse will live.
As you can see, the symbol behind Fukuchi is the similar to a the symbol to the right, which belongs to a religion known as Tenrikyo.
Tenrikyo is a religion where their deity is viewed as the parent of all of humanity.
In the image above, you can see Fukuchi showing almost "motherly" care for Kunikida. As if he's comforting his hurt child.
When Fukuchi kills someone, they become bubbles and then he swallows them.
Bubbles, are clean and clear. The opposite of dust.
Now, I hear you guys "Eloqiu, what does this have to do with the ADA being alive? Are you off your meds?"
No, I am not off my meds, and let me continue.
Something to note about Tenrikyo, is that it doesn't believing the afterlife. It instead believes in reincarnation.
"The soul comes back to this world after borrowing a body from God."
Along with that:
When Fukuchi "kills" someone, the only thing left of them is their clothing. Which may be symbolic of death. (Osayama is the creator of the religion, for anyone who didn't know.)
And also...
(Which could mean that Fukuchi is still alive)
Taking in the reincarnation, bubbles, and symbolism...
Fukuchi is currently collecting the good deeds of each person. So that he can give them a new body. (AKA reincarnate them)
However, considering that the real Fukuchi is probably still in there, there's still a chance that this could be stopped.
So here's my (maximum copium) plan on how this will end:
The ADA must defeat Fyodor first, he seems to be thing that's ordering Fukuchi.
Once they've defeated him, the real Fukuchi will take back his body. (Most likely with some encouragement from the remaining Hunting Dogs, and Fukuzawa)
Then Fukuchi will release the souls by offering his "body from God", ultimately sacrificing himself.
The live happily ever after
Easier said then done...
(I did this all in like, 20 minutes. So forgive me if some information is incorrect)
EDIT:
I found this detail interesting, and decided to screenshot it. While I was researching any relations Tenrikyo had with books... (Like the book in the BSD verse)
(This was written by the creator of the religion. Featuring all the teachings of the religion.) Coincidence??? (Probably.) I THINK NOT!
(EDIT 2: I need a life...)
The god form of Fukuchi, was introduced in chapter 115. (Is that was chapter 114.5 exists? So that God form Fukuchi would be introduced at exactly chapter 115?)
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#BSD#bsd fyodor#bsd smut#bsd ranpo#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd dazai#bram stoker#bsd yosano#bsd akutagawa#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#BSD ch 117#ranpo x reader#dazai x chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#chuuya x reader#bungou stray dogs chuuya#fukuchi ouchi#bungo stray dogs fukuzawa#bsd fukuzawa
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DOA With ADA S/O
This is all taking place during the whole terrorism plot, but lmk if you want me to do like a just in general thing! I sadly didn't have ideas for Bram :( Tw for spoilers, Fyodor being a toxic little bitch, Nikolai kidnapping you, actually everyone except Sigma is either toxic or bordering on it
Fyodor! ♡
You would've had to meet before the terrorism obviously
He knows it is stupid, but he doesn't include you as a terrorist
Even if you beg for him to stop it, he won't, he'll just try to make you join the Decay of Angels
Even if you don't agree he'll still trick you into doing work for him where there is room for plausible deniability
If you somehow find out about his plans beforehand he will be forced to make you a terrorist and have you dependant on him
very toxic, don't reccomend
Nikolai! ♡
He bothers Fyodor and asks him not to make you a terrorist, but of course, Fyodor doesn't listen because Nikolai is supposed to die soon
Nikolai doesn't die of course, and instead, he figures out where you are and kidnaps you!
It's only logical of course
He keeps you with him at all times! If they can't find him then they can't find you!
He takes you to the Meursault and makes you witness all the terrible things that Dazai and Fyodor do
You start realizing how much of a freak he is but you still love him
He doesn't ever allow you to leave his side, even if you have to go to the bathroom he whined but settled on standing guard outside t the stall
Sigma! ♡
Since his casino is canonically less than a week old you guys met a bit before
Whenever Fyodor made him aware of his plans he begged you to come over
You were confused because he wouldn't tell you why but you just assumed he missed you a lot
Turns out you were being framed for terrorism
He keeps you very well hidden but is put under 1000x more stress when the Hunting Dogs show up
He is more aggressive with his attacks, and he raises the money for injuring and/or killing the Hunting Dogs, all because he wants you safe
Y'all fall together and are unceremoniously saved by Nikolai
You jumped after him much to Teruko's displeasure
Whenever Sigma is chosen by Dazai you force Nikolai to let you go with them and you stick by Sigma and freak out when you think he's been killed, Fyodor knocks you out though
Fukuchi! ♡
Being a hater of Fukuzawa he wanted you to join the Hunting Dogs even before the terrorism
Though of course, you told him you loved your friends there too much to ever leave (you also hated the idea of all the surgeries)
But when the terrorism happened, he specifically instructed the Hunting Dogs to bring you to him alive
And they didn't fail him, he kept you safe
He tried very hard to get you to join the Hunting Dogs, saying that he could make it go away
Of course, you still refused. You knew you weren't a terrorist and you knew none of your friends were
He still dragged you around but he wouldn't let you watch him fight his friends
He doesn't let you see any of his wrongdoings, even if you know he's doing something bad he won't let you know what it is exactly
He won't even make you aware of Bram existence
He just tells you he's doing this all for the greater good
#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#bsd#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs x you#bsd x you#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor x reader#fyodor x you#fyodor x y/n#nikolai gogol#bsd nikolai#nikolai x reader#nikolai x you#nikolai bsd#sigma x reader#sigma bsd#sigma x you#bsd sigma#sigma#fukuchi ouchi#bsd fukuchi#ōchi fukuchi#fukuchi genichirou#bsd spoilers#fukuchi bsd#fukuchi x reader
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I feel like people often forget Fyodor's age.. cuz most of his ships have huge age gaps.. Fyodor is 39 years old
#he's almost as old as mori !!#he really doesn't look his age but now you know#bsd#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#i hate fyodor for stabbing sigma but I also now know that sigma could make it out alive#so I forgive him !! that silly little guy is forgiven#rambles
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BSD men- Top, Bottom, or Switch?
Hi hi! Star here, just letting y’all know these are my personal thoughts and opinions, if you have a different opinion or headcannon you are welcome to comment on it! Id love to hear your thoughts!~ :3
Ft. Dazai, Atsushi, Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Poe, Mushitaro, Fyodor, Nikolai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dazai
Top
Let’s start with our lovely suicidal maniac, even though this man is openly flirty with people, he is very foreign to love and affection since his passes at people are always met with rejection. So you can imagine his dumbfounded face when you confessed to him. He couldn’t believe someone as sweet as you actually liked him. You were something valuable and precious in his eyes, the most perfect person in the world, his and his only. He can be very protective and possessive of you both in public, and private~
Sex with Dazai can go two ways, he can be very sweet and gentle or can also be very mean and rough, it really depends on the day and situation. If he had a good day, he will be the sweetest man alive. Kiss you all over and go slowly as to take his time with such a delicate angel, he will whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he praises you for taking him in so well. But, that sweet man is nowhere to be seen when he’s had a stressful day, he loves you, he really does but all he wants to do right now is just fuck you senseless. He will manhandle you like there is no tomorrow, he gives you no time to react before he slams his cock into your soft, warm, and wet cunt. The way he lets out deep grunts into your ear as he calls you such sinful words, he comments on how much of a good fuck toy you make. He loves you so much he just can’t get enough~
“My beautiful belladonna, you’re all mine all min-Ah!~ Oh fuck, yes just keep clenching around me like the sweet little cockhungry slut you are, Mmh!- show me how much you like it when I use you, you know you love it when I grip my hands around your waist like this don’t you? Haha!~ truly perfect.”
Atsushi
Switch, preferred bottom
Now our sweet tiger boy, Atsushi is very kind and gentle with everyone, especially you. He loves the dates you guys go on, the long talks you guys have and most of all, how much you care about him. He loves that your relationship is nicely balanced, he gives to you, and you give back, both in normal circumstances and in more “private” matters.
The first time you guys have sex, he was on top but he was very nervous of messing up, you reassured him that he would do just fine and you guided him through it all. After the first time, he felt more confident and continued topping for a bit, he enjoyed pleasing you and he loved the feeling of being in control, but he did want to try something new, he had fantasies of you riding him, and he finally grew the courage to ask you. The first time you were on top, he melted, he loved it so much, how you moved, the noises you dragged out of him, the sweet praises you gave him, he loved it all. After that he admitted he loved you dominating him, so you being on top was a very common occurrence!~
“Ah!~ Honey you look so beautiful on top of me, Gosh your body is so perfect, your curves drive me crazy-Oh Fuck~ I’m so happy you’re mine, I’m so lucky-Ah! God I love you, I love you so much.”
Fukuzawa
Top
The lone wolf himself, who would’ve thought he would be able to love? Not just that, he has utterly fallen hard. And i mean. Hard. After all the years he’s been alone, he has finally found someone to love and open up to. He loves everything about you, he loves your eyes, your personality, your features and most of all, he loves the way you make him feel, both emotionally and physically.
He loves to worship your body, he’s thankful for every second he’s with you, he cherishes those moments with all his heart. So don’t be surprised when you find yourself under him, hands caressing your body as moans mixed with sweet praises fill the room. He makes sure to go slow and take his time, each thrust is filled with love and care. Who would’ve guessed that the stone cold lone wolf would be so gentle?. But, sometimes when he’s stressed from work he won’t be so gentle, of course he’ll still be sweet, but his mind is just clouded with the feeling of being inside of you, knowing you’re his, and only his.
“You’re so beautiful, so perfect, I love how you look when you’re under me-Ah!~ I promise you, I’ll keep you safe from any harm for as long as I live, now please, let me worship you, and show you how much I love you.”
Ranpo
Switch, preferred bottom
Now for our little detective, Ranpo is not big on romance, to be honest he’s never really “like liked” someone, he loves his mysteries and snacks, they come first. But something about the moment when he first saw you changed him, for some reason he wanted to focus more on you than his mysteries. He offered you snacks which he never used to do with others. He starts to hang around you more and is genuinely interested in what you have to say. Fast forward to when you confess to him, he’s so happy, this new found feeling is something he loves. He loves how kind you are, but most of all, how sweet you are~
Ranpo is very much capable of topping you, he won’t lie he does love it, enjoys the moans full of praises you let out, telling him how good he feels and how much you love him it makes him go wild. He will do anything to drag those praises out of you. But Ranpo can be very lazy sometimes, so lazy sex and you being on top is pretty common. He loves that you are the one who serves him and all he has to do is just sit there and watch the show. He does moan but prefers to grunt as to not boost your ego, he knows you love it when you drag little moans from the worlds greatest detective!~
Mm~ gosh you feel so good love, keep riding me just like that, Mm-Ah! What? No of course I didn’t moan.. you’re gonna have to try harder than that to hear m- AH! Mm- haha~ now this is getting interesting~.”
Poe
Bottom
Oh my beloved submissive shy writer. Poe is very shy, quiet and passionate about his work, he’s the same way with you. Even if you’ve been together for quite a while, he’ll still be very shy around you, easily getting flustered at any little touch or compliment you give him. He’s such a sucker for you too, you’re his world, his poem, his song, his everything and he will do everything and anything to please you.
And in the bedroom it’s no different, he will do anything you ask, he will utterly be on his hands and knees for you. The praises you give him as you ride him send him over the edge, god does he love it when you are in control, the way you use him, the way you tease him, the way you make him feel as if he’s the only one who could ever make you happy, he just can’t help himself, all he can do is moan and beg for more, with these desires he tends to subconsciously grind into you, causing you to moan in return, poor boy, he doesn’t do it on purpose, he just wants so much more of you, he can never get enough. Sex with Poe is always full of passion and emotion, not just any casual sex, for him it’s something that can only be shared between you and him, his muse, his light, his life, his love.
“Please keep going don’t sto-AGH! FUCK! I’m the only one that can make you feel this good right? Oh god~ please tell me, am I doing good for you? my love, my muse, my beloved star! Ah!~.”
Mushitaro
Bottom
My beloved evidence destroyer, around others he acts sure of himself, confident even and his ability to commit a perfect crime just adds to that big ego delusion he’s got going on. Out in public he will keep the “I’m better than everyone” smartass act up, but behind closed doors it’s a completely different story. The man who was once proudly saying how he could best you in anything is now on the bed flustered out of his mind with his suit torn open and hickeys covering his neck.
He’s definitely all talk, you tease him about how he was bragging about being able to dominate you anytime he wanted to, yet he’s the one on the bed following orders. His face would be flushed, he avoids eye contact as much as possible, but when you grab his face he can’t help but just melt at your touch. When you instruct him to start touching himself, he does it with no hesitation, you can see it in his eyes, the desperation and the need to touch himself for you. He begs for you to help him, and when you do, it’s all over, he’s a moaning mess.
“Please darling, I need you to touch me I need to feel your hands around my cock, please I’ll do anything you ask me to- AH! Yes yes! Thank you, thank you please don’t stop, keep going I want to finish for you and only you.”
Fyodor
Top
This psychotic, degrading ass rat king, he may seem as if he’s very composed and doesn’t think about sex that much, but boy oh boy he cannot control himself around you. Just something about you, it makes him feel things he never thought he would. Lust and desire fill his mind, he just can’t have enough of you, how cute you are, how beautiful you look even as you cry and beg for mercy from him, god does he love it all.
He is a very big top, he loves the control and power he has over you, he gets off on the thought of him ruining you. You look so innocent and flustered under him, he just can’t wait to ruin you. He thinks you’re beautiful, the light of his life, despite that, his words are harsh yet smooth, he leans close to your ear and teases you about how desperate and cockhungry you look.
“Haha~ just look at you! So innocent looking as if you don’t dream and fantasize of me breaking you-Mm! My my, I presume from you getting tighter I was right, no worries I’ll make sure to ruin you in every way imaginable~.”
Nikolai
Dominant Bottom
Dear me, where do i start with this jester. With Nikolai it’s never boring and he makes sure of it! He is so lively around you, he loves how you can handle his random bursts of energy, how you never get tired of him no matter how much he annoys you. He loves the cute reactions you have when he teases or flirts with you. He cherishes the soft moments with you but he also loves the rough ones!~
He can absolutely dominate you any time he pleases, but he loves to have you on top of him. The idea of you being on top of him, riding him to your hearts content and desperately using him to get your self off, gets him off. Even though he allows you to be the dominant one, half of the time he’s the one in control. He tells you when to move and how, he teases you about how cute you look when you pout when he instructs you to stop moving, and loves the moans you let out as he starts thrusting upwards into you. Praise with a ton of teasing is his go to, seriously this man is something else.
“Oh fuck, just look at you! So desperate to get yourself off, God I love it when you get like this, just keep letting out those cute moans for m-Ah!~ haha~ go a bit slower, we don’t want the fun to end just yet now do we?~.”
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First smut writing I’ve ever done, I hope y’all like this one!~
If you’d like a part 2 with different characters just let me know! Love you all! <3
#bsd x reader#bsd dazai#dazai x reader#bsd atsushi#atsushi x reader#bsd fukuzawa#fukuzawa x reader#bsd ranpo#ranpo x reader#bsd poe#poe x reader#bsd mushitaro#mushitaro x reader#bsd fyodor#fyodor x reader#bsd nikolai gogol#nikolai x reader#anime
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