#If he decides to throw another world ending tantrum that is

[radiance1]

Gotham: Holy shit there's a random animal running around Gotham city and no one's ever caught it before. They say it only appears in thunderstorms and anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with it look as if they've been hit by thunder.

Dan phantom, the 'random animal' who is in fact a Raiju in question: If I destroy this place I'll be fucked over by Clockwork. But if I don't destroy this place I'll keep being followed by this brat.

Damian Wayne, the brat in question: There is an animal roaming Gotham in thunderstorms, father. We must save it!

[loving-barnes]

LOGAN HOWLETT - BROKEN & MENDED

A/N: A new one-shot that I tried to write. It's okay, I guess. So here you go. Also, the title sucks, but... whatever.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Featuring: Avengers, Ex!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warning: angst, fluff, implied smut?

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story has sexual scenes.

Words: 3400+

Important note: I know Wolverine is like 160cm but… I forgot about tha that so, he’s a tall MF. (They kinda fucked that up in some of the movies, so whatever.) So Hugh Jackman!Wolverine

FULL MASTERLIST | LOGAN HOWLETT MASTERLIST

LOGAN HOWLETT - BROKEN & MENDED

It felt like a dagger went through her heart. Her eyes watched her boyfriend and her best friend kissing in the kitchen. They didn’t know Y/N was there. It seemed that they didn’t care someone would be able to see them. She watched it all with her two eyes. The two people she trusted the most in the entire world broke her heart. How long was this happening? Why was this happening?

The vomit threatened to escape her throat. She was sick to her stomach from the betrayal. Shaking her head, Y/N silently walked away from the scene, heading back to the room she shared with Bucky. 

When her eyes landed on the messy bed, she shared with him daily, her stomach flipped. She felt nauseous like never before. How often did he bring Natasha to bed while she was away on a mission? Her feet dragged her to the bathroom, where she ended up vomiting into the toilet. 

Y/N stayed on the bathroom floor for another hour, thinking about her next steps. There was no point in crying over spilt milk. Bucky had decided to find peace in other girl’s arms. He had decided to break Y/N’s heart. 

Sighing, she slowly got up, washed her face and rinsed her mouth. And then it hit her. How many people knew about this affair? Of course, Steve knew. He had to. He was Bucky’s best friend. Hell, even Sam had to know something. 

She fished out a phone from her jeans and texted Tony. He, of all people, would be able to understand her. Once he agreed to see her, she washed her mouth one more time and left for the lab. As expected, Tony was tinkering on one of his suits. There was a big cup of cold coffee on the table that he didn’t drink.

“What’s up, Y/L/N,” Tony asked when he noticed Y/N in the lab. He immediately noticed her body language. Something was off. “What’s going on?” 

She sat in an office chair, eyes scanning all the tools scattered around the place. “I need you to do something for me - no questions asked.” 

His eyes captured hers, frowning. “Oh no, you can’t pull that card on me. What’s going on? What happened?” 

No wonder Y/N wanted a ‘no questions asked’. A few months ago, Tony called Y/N to get him from a club. He was drunk, covered in vomit and upset about something. Y/N didn’t question it. She drove him to the tower, got him to bed, and they never spoke about it again. 

Y/N took a deep breath, her lips quivering. She wanted to scream, cry and throw a tantrum like a child. Her heart was breaking some more. “I’m resigning.”

“What?!” Tony jumped on his feet. That statement woke him up. “What do you mean, Y/N? Does Barnes know about that? Are you two planning something? Are you pregnant?” 

She shook her head. Damn, that last question got her even more. When did she start to feel the want to have kids with him? “He doesn’t know anything. I need you to accept my resignation and let me silently leave as soon as possible,” she said. “Please.”

Tony wasn’t a fool. He could see the pain in her eyes, how her lips trembled and how she tried to hold it together. Tony was able to put two and two together. Something happened between them - it was over. “Shit,” he shook his head in disbelief. “Holy shit.” 

“Please, Tony,” she raised a hand into the air. “I have to do this. If he can’t come clean, I can leave without a word. Two can play this game.” 

“But,” he closed the distance and put his hands on the woman’s shoulders. “You can’t leave the Avengers. You are like the little sister I never had. I can kick Barnes’s ass again if you’d like. Say the word and I will detach that damn arm from him.” 

Y/N chuckled. It was hard to hold it together and not cry in front of Tony. “We can stay in touch, Stark. Please, don’t make me stay. My heart is broken, shattered into a million pieces. I won’t be able to look them in the eyes-”

“Them?” he interrupted her. “Who’s the woman?” 

A tear finally escaped Y/N’s eye. “Natasha,” she whispered. 

Tony’s fists clenched. He wanted to curse out loud and throw something into a wall. “I’m sorry,” was all he said to her. “I’m sorry things went to shit like this. Holy fuck, Natasha and Barnes? What the fuck?” 

As the dam broke, Tony caught her in his tight embrace and let Y/N cry it out. He wouldn’t do it for anyone but her. As Tony said, Y/N was like his little sister whom he needed to protect. He pushed her away a little to look into her eyes. The pain in them was breaking Tony’s heart.

“Is there anything you need to take?” he asked. “Any photos or personal belongings?”

Y/N thought about it. All the photos she had were with Bucky, Natasha or the team. She didn’t have any family outside the Avengers. Everything she owned had been provided for her. 

“No,” she said. 

Tony sighed, nodding. “Alright.” He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and took out a wallet. He gave her a black card. “Take it.”

“What? Tony, no, I can’t,” she shook her head. 

“Shut up, Y/N,” he frowned at her. “Take the damn card. I have twenty more. Get yourself a hotel, buy new clothes or a car - whatever the fuck you want. Text me from a new number once you settled down. I want to stay in contact with you even when you are on the other side of the world.” 

“Oh, Tony.” 

“I’ll let you know how the pandemonium went once they realise you are gone,” he chuckled at that thought. “Are you sure about this, Y/N?” he had to ask.

“I don’t owe Bucky anything - not even a stupid explanation. He decided to cheat behind my back with my best friend. God knows how long this has been going on for. I wouldn’t be surprised if Steve and Sam knew about this. I don’t trust any of them anymore, Tony. I was hurt many times before. This is a new level of pain I’ve never felt before. I thought he was it, you know? And look how it ended.” 

“I want to say I understand. However, I don’t,” said Tony. “I’ll miss you, kid.” 

. . .

Bucky had a phone pressed to his ear. He was walking around the lounge room like a lion in a cage. He cursed under his nose and redialed Y/N’s number. Steve, Sam and Tony walked into the lounge room, chatting. “Has anyone seen Y/N?” Bucky asked them. “I can’t get hold of her.” 

“Have you checked your room?” Sam asked and sat on the couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table. “Or she’s with Natasha.” 

“I’ve asked Nat. She hasn’t seen her the whole day,” said Bucky, frowning. He tried to call her again. “She’s not responding to texts. Where the hell is she? Did she go on a solo mission?” 

“I don’t know anything about it,” Steve shrugged.

Tony crossed arms over his chest. “She left,” he announced. 

All eyes turned to him. “What?” Steve asked. “What do you mean by that? Did Fury give her a solo mission?” 

“She left,” Tony repeated sternly. Bucky approached the man, confused. “Barnes, come on, let’s not play this game. You think the woman wouldn’t notice?” 

“What the fuck are you talking about, Stark?” Bucky spat. “Fuck, Stark, talk. Where the hell is Y/N?”

“Y/N found out about you and Natasha.” Tony’s fists clenched. He wanted to punch Barnes into his face. “How the fuck could you do that to her, Barnes? You didn’t have the balls to tell her the truth, to talk to her. And now, because you betrayed her, she left the tower - the team.” 

Steve turned to Bucky, shocked by that revelation. “You and Natasha?” he gasped. “When?” 

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know, Rogers,” Tony scoffed.

“Shit,” Sam commented. “What the fuck, dude?”

Bucky didn’t know what to say first. “When she’ll be back?” 

Tony had to laugh. “You think she’s coming back? Come on, Barnes. You broke her heart. You cheated on her with her best friend. She’s never coming back. She left because of you. Also,” he turned to the Captain and the Falcon. “She thinks you two know about the affair.” 

Sam jumped up on his feet, visibly pissed. “Whoa,” he glared at Barnes. “I don’t know anything about Barnes fucking Romanoff. What the fuck, Bucky? How could you do that to the best woman you could have ever had?” 

“Sam, it’s not that simple-”

“The fuck it is,” Sam yelled at him. “I can’t believe you did that,” he said. “I’m so angry at you.”

“Sam. I… It’s…”

“Go fuck yourself, Barnes,” he punched Bucky into his shoulder and left the lounge room. 

Bucky sighed, defeated. When he looked up at Steve, he could see the disappointment in his eyes. 

Tony had to chuckle. “This is what happens when you think with your dick and not with your head and heart. This is your own doing.”  

. . .

A FEW YEARS LATER

It was a big day. Tony Stark threw a massive engagement party for him and Pepper. He finally had the guts to ask the woman of his dreams to marry her. 

He invited over a hundred people. He wanted to celebrate his beautiful fianceé, their love and happiness. Or in other words, another reason why to throw a party. Also, this was the perfect opportunity to see Y/N again. 

It was almost two years since she left the team. No one knew anything about her except Tony and Pepper. They kept in touch with her the whole time. The couple knew about her new life, new role and more importantly new love. And now, they invited her to celebrate their engagement. Her new man was also invited.

It was supposed to be a big dinner with music and drinks. Everyone was there - the whole Avengers team, some SHIELD agents and even politicians who had a good relationship with the happy couple. And yet, Tony waited for his favourite person to arrive. 

He was standing by the bar, nursing a drink. Tony’s eyes wandered around the place, trying to glimpse Y/N in the crowd. The dinner was about to start, and she still wasn’t there. A hand appeared on his shoulder, striking it lovingly. “Don’t worry. She’ll be here soon,” Pepper said to his ear. “She promised to come.”

He was ready to comment on it when his eyes noticed Y/N walk through the entrance, all dressed up and with a smile plastered over her face. A tall, muscular man stood behind her, helping her with her coat. Tony smiled, glad that Y/N had arrived with her new boyfriend. Tony liked that guy a lot. Same humour, both liked the taste of whisky and they dated amazing women. 

“See, she’s here,” said Pepper with a smile. She raised a hand, waving to the couple. 

“Are you sure about this?” Y/N heard her boyfriend’s voice close to her ear. “You don’t have to do anythin’ that makes you uncomfortable, baby.” 

She turned to him, fixing his black suit. The way Logan was staring at her made her knees weak. His eyes were hungry, she was sure of it. When he saw the dress on her, he had to hold himself back. “I know, Lo’. I’m happy you’ve decided to come with me and be my plus one. Tony likes you a lot, to be honest,” she giggled. “Also, I’m done with my past and am focused on my present, with you.” 

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Come on, Y/N. Your friends are waiting. Nervous?” 

“A little bit,” she had to admit. 

Logan held her hand proudly. He tried to intimidate people with his glare. Y/N was surprised when she found him dressed in a fancy suit. Yes, it was all black - like he wanted. But damn, he looked sexy. 

Together, they walked to Tony and Pepper, greeting them. Y/N hugged them both, while Logan shook hands with Tony and nodded towards Pepper. 

“Congratulations, you two,” Y/N said with a smile. “You are finally doing it. I’m so proud of you, Tony. You are growing up,” she teased him. 

“How are you holding up?” Pepper asked gently. “How are the kids?” her eyes moved to Logan. 

“It’s not easy to teach young mutants,” Logan replied. “They can be a handful, ya know? But they love Y/N.” 

Y/N wrapped an arm around Logan’s waist, smiling. “They like all of us. All of them are grateful to have a place to live and feel safe. And, to answer your question, I’m doing good. Am I nervous? Yes. Am I happy? Also yes.” 

“I can’t believe you became a teacher in a mutant school,” Tony shook his head in disbelief. “Is it cool that you two are together?” he pointed between the couple. “Isn’t there any strict policy that you cannot date an old man?” he joked. 

Logan glared at him. “Hilarious, Stark.” 

“Come on, Wolverine. I am just messing around. But seriously, no policy?” 

Y/N rolled her eyes. “No, nothing like that. Thank god.”

“Last time, it bit you in the ass,” Tony glared at Y/N. 

She sighed. “I know, but why make these policies? I know in the end it can hurt the team, but… “ she shook her head, not finishing. 

“Out of curiosity, what would you do if you weren’t allowed to date?” Pepper asked. 

Logan and Y/N looked at each other. There was a brief silence. “I’d take her to Canada,” he said after some thinking. “We’d buy ourselves a place, somewhere in the mountains.” He could see how her eyes lit up when he mentioned living far away. “Unfortunately, we had decided to stay and teach young mutants. Who knows what will bring us the future.” 

Y/N wanted to press a kiss to his lips. But she knew Logan wasn’t fond of PDA. Her mouth opened to tell him how much she loved him. 

“Y/N?” 

Y/N took a deep breath through her nose. Slowly, she turned to the voice, finding Steve standing behind the couple, surprised to see her. “Hi,” she said cheerfully. 

“Wow, you look amazing. I’m glad to see you again,” he nodded, smiling. His eyes moved to the man beside her. Steve observed him - he was tall muscular and a bit scary. He stretched his arm. “I’m Steve Rogers,” he introduced himself. 

Logan grabbed his hand, shaking it. “Logan,” he said firmly.

When their hands disconnected, both men turned their eyes on Y/N. “I see you are doing well,” Steve said to Y/N. “It’s been… what, two years?” 

“Something like that,” she shrugged. Her eyes moved to Logan. “I’ll quickly go to the bathroom before dinner. I’ll be right back.” Instantly, Logan leaned in and he pressed a kiss to her cheek. Y/N couldn’t believe her boyfriend was affectionate in public. They would leave the PDA behind closed doors. It was sweet.

Y/N walked through the crowd of people, heading to the ladies' room. No one paid her any attention. She registered some celebrities and politicians. Everyone was here for Tonny and Pepper. Y/N opened the door, walked in with a gentle smile and was met with Natasha. The smile was instantly gone. The woman was staring at her reflection in the mirror, fixing her make-up when her eyes landed on Y/N.

Y/N’s eyes widened. Her breath got stuck. As much as she told herself she was ready for this, she wasn’t. “Hi,” she said neutrally and quickly locked herself inside a toilet room. 

She heard the entrance door open and closed a few times. Y/N hoped Natasha left. Unfortunately, after she was done and left the toilet, Natasha was leaning against the counter, waiting. 

“Hi,” Natasha greeted her, whispering. Her eyes followed Y/N’s every moment. “H-how have you been?” 

Y/N sighed. She started to wash her hands. “Do we have to talk?” she asked emotionless. 

“Yes, we do. I haven’t seen you in two years. I missed you,” said Natasha. 

“You are kidding, right?” Y/N glared at her through the mirror. “How can you say this after what happened? How can you stand there and say those words when you had a thing with my then-boyfriend?” She turned off the water and wiped her hands with paper towels. “I promised myself I would enjoy this evening, celebrate Tony’s engagement and then leave. I guess things never turn out how we want.” 

After she was done, Y/N left the bathroom. She was visibly upset. All she wanted was to hide in Logan’s arms, have a meal and leave. How could she believe she’d be able to come here? Why was she still this hurt when she had a wonderful man by her side? Did she…? No. The only thing left was the hurt. Her heart belonged to Logan now. She loved him more than she ever loved anyone. 

“Y/N,” Natasha followed her out. “Please, let’s talk. You need to listen to me.” 

“I don’t have to do shit, Romanoff.” Fate wasn’t kind to Y/N. When she walked outside, she was met with the one person she hoped to avoid the most. “You’ve got to be shitting me,” she cursed. 

Bucky stood before her in a tux. His hair was short, face shaved and smooth. Those blue eyes were wide open as he stared at his ex-girlfriend all dressed up. “Oh my god,” he gasped. “Y/N, you are here.” 

“Obviously,” she sighed. “I am Tony’s good friend,” she said. She wanted to walk away from the. Unfortunately, he gently grabbed her by her forearm, stopping her. “Let me go, Barnes.” 

“Please, we need to talk. Only for a minute.” 

Y/N yanked her arm out of his grip. “There is nothing to talk about. I don’t want to talk to any of you,” her eyes went from him to Natasha and back. 

“Yes, there is,” he frowned. “You left without a word.” 

She frowned at him. “So? You slept with my best friend behind my back. You cheated on me and didn’t have the balls to be honest with me.” Y/N fixed her dress and straightened her back. “I found you two making out in the damn kitchen. So, no, there is nothing to talk about. I came here to celebrate Tony and Pepper.” 

Natasha sighed, upset about it all. Bucky shook his head. “You left, Y/N. For fuck’s sake you left without a word,” he raised his voice. 

“That’s all you care about?” she asked. “Barnes, you broke my heart. Do you think I’d stay here after what happened? Do you think I’d be happy to see you two together? Wake up. Both of you.” Y/N turned to Natasha, to see her upset face. 

A hand appeared on her shoulder, stroking it gently. Y/N released a deep breath she didn’t know she was holding and calmed down. She smelled Logan’s cologne he used for tonight. “You okay, baby?” he asked, eyes shooting daggers at the supersoldier and the spy. 

Y/N strengthened her back. “Logan, meet James Barnes and Natasha Romanoff,” she introduced them. She didn’t need to define who they were and what they did to her. Logan already knew. “They don’t seem to understand that I don’t want to talk to them.” 

Logan chuckled. “He seems like a guy who doesn’t understand a lot of things,” his eyes darkened. He was not fond of the man standing before him. 

“Excuse me?” Bucky frowned. 

“Oh, get a life, bub,” Logan scoffed. “The lady said she doesn’t want to talk to ya. So I suggest you leave her the fuck alone.” 

With that, Logan grabbed her hand and walked with her away from the pair. He pulled her hand to his lips, kissing its top. “You okay, sweetheart?” 

She nodded. “You know what? Let’s have some food, you know, do a little damage and then leave. I want to be alone with you tonight, sir. We have a hotel room that Tony provided us,” she winked at him. 

“That dress needs to go as soon as possible,” Logan purred to her ear. “One hour and then we are gone, princess.” 

[seijorhi]

Just wanted to let you know that that oikawa soulmate drabble you just posted is such a banger. I can just imagine the look on oikawa’s face as he’s reading the caption on his soulmate’s socials . . . Does he decide then and say, f waiting gotta go find her and remind her of their agreement? Does he blast her name out after winning his next game, saying it’s because of her that he’s been able to accomplish so much and then conveniently shares a reel of that victory speech to one of your friends who likes volleyball and happens to be friends with his fake profile?

There are so many ways this scenario could go and it’s always so interesting and thrilling the way you leave your drabbles open-ended✨✨

Thank you for sharing!

well first of all there's the epic tantrum he throws. tears, snot, a shattered phone. basically wrecks his bedroom, tears at his hair and screams into his pillows. a very measured, healthy response.

ONCE he calms down (which he will, eventually) that's when he gets plotting. oikawa's not a man who takes losing well, he's also not the type of guy to hit back with only one

up until that point, he'd managed to talk himself out of physical stalking. the online stuff was fine, because you'd made it public, you'd posted it and put it out into the world, but actually following you home, finding out your day-to-day routine – when he can afford to, those rare, precious days off – that would've been creepy. or... crossing a line, at least. a step too far. but now he knows there's some asshole trying to weasel into his girl's life, take his place–

six months, six months, six months, six months, six months, six months

–he doesn't feel all that torn up about it. and while he spends his time between volleyball and you, he's sure he can spare some cash to throw at a pi to look into your boyfriend too. surely the asshole's got a few secrets he can use against him. no one's perfect, and everyone's exploitable. he could probably pay one of the girls at that asshole's office to get him in a compromising position, take a few photos and send them your way. he could probably pay someone to drag him into an alley on his way home and beat the fuck out of him too, but that one's a little dicier. more of a 'plan b' situation, he thinks.

he's always been pretty tight lipped about his soulmate status. his teammates have undoubtedly caught a glimpse or two, but they know he doesn't talk about it, and it's too personal a thing to just casually drop into conversation. publicly, he's never said a word.

until now.

he'll make it sound like a cinderella moment. one of those missed connections stories people go nuts over. he'll say that he saw you through the crowds after one of his games, just a glimpse before you were swallowed up. never got your name, never even had a chance to speak to you, but your eyes met for a split second, a heartbeat, and he knew you were his soulmate. now he's desperately trying to find you again, enlisting his fans and followers' help to do so.

he'll sprinkle in enough vague-ish details for the people in your life to pick up on and recognise. maybe start nudging you towards him.

he'll admit, with a soft, self-deprecating chuckle that you were there with another guy – a date, probably. it's why he held off trying to find you at first, but he... he just can't anymore. he doesn't care if you're with someone else.

he's totally swept up in you, it's all he can think about. he's already completely in love with you, and he doesn't even know your name.

it sounds crazy, he knows that, but he can't help it. he just needs to see you again. to learn your name. for you to give him a chance.

you're soulmates, and this is just the beginning of your love story.

[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.

A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?”  + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.

WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

it was a Sunday.

The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.

You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.

The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)

It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.

Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”

“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.

Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”

“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”

That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.

Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!

You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”

Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”

“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.

Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”

“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”

Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”

“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”

Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”

You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.

Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.

“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.

Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”

“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”

Sydney says, “give it time.”

“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.

Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”

“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”

“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.

“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.

You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”

Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.

“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”

“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.

“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.

Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”

“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.

Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”

“Hmm…it doesn’t.”

Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—

“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—

Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”

He nods.

“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”

“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.

If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.

He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.

That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.

You weren’t clueless.

He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.

What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?

The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.

“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.

“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.

“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”

“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.

Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”

“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.

See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?

You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”

Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—

“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”

“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”

You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”

Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.

“Everything okay in there, Neil?”

“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”

“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.

The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.

If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?

You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.

A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.

“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.

It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.

“…are you asking me to hang out?”

“We had fun at that club way back when no?”

“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”

You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.

The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.

Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.

“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”

You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.

“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”

“So…?”

“Can’t do it.”

“You didn’t even hear all the details!”

“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”

“I could never!”

“You know you could always ask carmy-

“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.

Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”

You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.

“Do you want me to hang up on you?”

“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”

“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”

“…whatever that means.”

“Right.”

You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.

Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.

Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.

Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.

You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”

“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.

“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.

“I’m not here to do think pieces.”

“…aren’t you a writer?”

“Have a good night, nat.”

“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”

Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.

“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.

His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.

“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”

The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.

Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.

You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.

Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.

The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.

He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.

Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.

“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.

Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”

“Watching you prep.”

You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”

A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”

“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.

“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.

You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”

“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.

Which is a sight to see.

You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”

Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”

“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.

Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.

“The hell is this place?”

You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”

“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”

You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.

“What looks good?”

“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”

The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”

“Sounds good...I guess?”

“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.

“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.

You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”

“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.

You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”

It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.

“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.

You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”

“That’s not really my problem?”

“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”

Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”

“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.

You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.

*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*

Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.

Not you.

“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.

You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”

Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.

“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.

That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.

So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.

“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.

Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”

“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”

Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”

Sydney.

You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.

“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.

His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”

You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.

The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.

Communication was important people!

And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.

“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.

Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”

Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”

“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.

“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”

She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.

“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.

Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”

Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”

“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.

Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”

“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”

“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”

Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.

“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”

“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”

“You wanna do this with me right now?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I thought we could move past what happened—

“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—

“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—

“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”

“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”

Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.

“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.

“I saw you—

“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.

You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.

“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.

You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”

Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.

He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.

“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.

He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”

“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”

Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.

He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.

Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.

“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”

And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!

You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”

You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.

You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.

If you believe in that shit.

So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.

He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.

So you took carmy’s input into consideration.

With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.

Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.

He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.

Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.

Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉

“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.

You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.

Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”

“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”

“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.

Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???

Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.

He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.

Syd: well youre gonna.

~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~

“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.

Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”

He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.

“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”

Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”

“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.

You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”

“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”

“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.

Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”

“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”

Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”

And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.

“What’s funny?”

“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”

Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”

“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.

The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.

“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.

You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”

“What’s the rating?”

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.

He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”

“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”

“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.

Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”

Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”

“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”

“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”

That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”

And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.

“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”

“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”

“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”

“Yet.”

Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”

“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”

Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”

“I said that?”

“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”

Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.

Someone just had to look hard enough.

“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”

“What do you want?”

“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”

“You swore off love.”

“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”

Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?

Maybe.

Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.

He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.

“How’d—

“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.

It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?

So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.

“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.

You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.

“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.

Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”

You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”

Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”

“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”

Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”

“On what? My review or showing up?”

“Both.”

“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”

“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.

And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.

You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.

Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.

And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

February fluff anthology series continues here.

[masterofthewarcry]

no, no you don't GET IT. okay - so he's only a little kid when his dad goes off to war and dies, right? he doesn't know his dad. all he knows is that his dad was a great warrior favored by athena, and that he has to avenge him (IMAGINE a little kid sitting by his mother's feet while she spins wool telling him he has to avenge his father some day, imagine it). so he grows up a little, following in his father's footsteps to become a great warrior, and then BAM he gets thrown into full blown WAR at fourteen. it's epigoni time people. he's the youngest there, this is the first time he's ever experienced real battle, and its in THEBES where his dad (who's ghost has been haunting him the whole time) DIED. anywhere he steps on the battlefield could be the very spot where his dad died. but he makes it through. they take the city, sack it, go home.

and that in itself is enough to make a man a legend, right? but almost as soon as he gets home, there's trouble in calydonia (where his grandfather is supposed to rule, but he gets usurped by an uncle or cousin or something). so he fucks off to calydonia to sort that out and ends up having to fight in ANOTHER huge battle to reinstate his grandfather as the king. but again, he pulls through, makes it out alive and goes home.

he gets married to aegialia, who's significantly older than him and who he doesn't know all that well just in time for adrastus (the king of argos and one of the original seven against thebes) to kick it. now, i'm not saying that adrastus was something of a father figure to him, but i think it makes sense narratively. so adrastus kicks it, and he inherits the city of argos, again being very young and not knowing much about ruling. he doesn't really get a chance to learn though because BAM it's trojan war time baby!!

so he gets together all the able-bodied argives (which is a LOT, like he's bringing a significant portion of the greek force) and they sail to aulis to meet up with the rest of the gang. sthenelus and euryalus (two of his buddies from the epigoni days) come with him - i like to think that they're like older brothers to him; sources he can look to for advice and support. ANYWAYS everybody gets to aulis, he goes to meet the rest of the kings and as soon as he introduces himself, everyone's talking about his father.

but its fine - even though he's proven himself to be a more capable warrior than his father was already. hes not here to cause a scene (no, they have achilles for that - but they dont have him yet so hold that thought), hes here to do a job. and do a job he will, because someone has to go fetch achilles from hiding! better send the young guy who MIGHT be able to hold his own against the strongest warrior in the world if he decides to fight back. and odysseus, of course.

they couldn't be more different, he and odysseus. odysseus is older, he's not been in a battle like this before, he has a son, he's generally regarded as a good king. whereas all he's ever known is war, he barely knows his own wife (DEFINITELY not enough to have a son), and he knows next to nothing about being a king. yet they hit it off. odysseus is charismatic and funny and he's ENRAPTURED by the way he talks about ithaca. he's never known anything like that. argos is home, sure, but ithaca is EVERYTHING to odysseus.

they collect achilles, with some trickery, and the real trojan war starts going. ILIAD TIME it's been nine years. he and odysseus are buddy buddy now (athena boys in business fr), achilles is on the fritz throwing a temper tantrum (NOT in a useful way on the battlefield). agamemnon is talking about giving up. menelaus ALMOST got paris's ass but aphrodite spirited him away. he and odysseus are holding this operation together. he's putting all this previous war experience to good use absolutely KILLING IT on the battlefield. he's going after aeneas, and then aphrodite, and then ARES the GOD OF WAR HIMSELF. achilles has NOTHING on him at this point. but the whole army is still praying for achilles return.

but it's fine - even though he's single handedly running the show at this point. he gets shot through the foot by paris and odysseus pulls it out because THEY WATCH EACH OTHERS BACKS, they look after each other. NIGHT RAID TIME, he and odysseus hit the town (and by hit the town i mean kill ~14 men under the cover of darkness and steal their horses), common athena boys W. they wash all the blood of themselves in the sea together afterwards, classic bro activities. he's feeding himself with odysseus's stories at this point because the way he talks about ithaca really does make it sound like something worth fighting for.

achilles comes back- OOPS, we thought it was achilles but its NOT its patroclus in his armor and now hes DEAD. achilles comes back for real, and now HECTOR is dead. who's that up on the walls of troy with a bow is that-? BAM, achilles dead, shot by paris. things are looking bleak and good at the same time. the palladium needs to be stolen so they can sack troy? easy money. NIGHT RAID PART 2, stealing the palladium time. easy money until odysseus decides to try and stab him in the back. he's devastated - his closest friend, caught up in the idea of having all the glory for himself. they've switched positions, now he is the one who wants nothing to do with this war, and odysseus is the glory-hungry king. heartbreaking.

TROJAN HORSE, the time is finally ripe to sack troy. everyone's behaving badly, people are getting raped on temple steps, it's a mess. odysseus throws a baby off the walls of troy. he's one of the only ones who doesn't get caught up in it because he's tired. he's tired of war and he wants to go home, even though argos is nothing like the home he's built in his head. there is no wife and son to return to. he knows nothing about being king. the rocky coasts of ithaca do not await him.

troy burns. the war is over, the ships are loaded with spoils, he sets sail for home. he arrives to find that sthenelus's SON, his BROTHER's SON has been fucking his wife and usurped his throne. and for a minute, it looks like he's about to go to war again, but he's tired. he's tired and it's his best friend's son, and it's a woman he never really got to know or care about and it's a throne he never asked for. so he just leaves. he takes his spoils, gets back on a boat and leaves. for ithaca.

he doesn't know how odysseus is going to react when he shows up. but, as it turns out, he didn't have to worry about that because odysseus isn't there. but penelope is. wise, patient penelope who listens to him talk about the war at troy and odysseus and how he's so tired. penelope who says, stay.

so he stays. and he waits for odysseus. and he learns things that aren't war. he learns what it feels like to carry a little boy on his shoulders. he learns what it feels like to have dirt under his nails and a sore back after a long day's work at the plow. he listens to penelope talk about odysseus, and shares his own stories too. he learns that he likes penelope, a lot.

enough that when the suitors start pouring in, he fends them off as best he can. he won't marry her - he won't do that to odysseus, but he will help her unravel the funeral shroud she's weaving each night. he will hold her while she cries for her husband who is likely dead at the bottom of the sea. he will start teaching telemachus his way around the blade when he asks.

and when odysseus does return home? he almost gets stabbed. odysseus is FURIOUS that someone he TRUSTED would come to court his wife, but that's not what happened at all, he's been protecting her the best he can. teaching his son to do the same. he's been waiting for odysseus with them. it's a teary reunion, of course, and then it's a bloodbath and then all the suitors are dead. he washes the blood out from underneath his nails for the last time.

see? do you see? it's about being HAUNTED by the legacy of a man you didn't even know, and it's about EXPECTATIONS and it's about figuring out what YOU want instead of what you're 'supposed' to want, and it's about GROWING past being a warrior and learning to be a PERSON, and it's about LOVING someone in a way that's beyond platonic or romantic. do you get it now? do you get it?

[utilitycaster]

Hi! Because I genuinely do love your take on things and every time I read through them, a new perspective that I had never even considered before makes itself known to me. So, I wanted to ask! Since Twitter (unsurprisingly) already got its hands on this discussion:

What are your feelings on the Mighty Nein being the ones to handle the Weave Mind over Bells Hells? Because for me, I always sort of knew that BH were going to be the ones to defeat Ludinus no matter what. It’s what they’ve been building up for.

However, some people say the M9 aren’t deserving of handling the Weave Mind because that was an antagonist made specifically for the Bells Hells. So, I was interested in seeing your thoughts about this (strange) discussion.

Hi anon, thanks!

I think it's great to have the Nein go after the Weave Mind, and I think, like most takes from the Twitter CR fandom, this is fucking stupid.

Given that Matt is the DM, and he's like "hey, I'm going to have a Trusted NPC call in the Mighty Nein to deal with the Weave Mind" I think the argument that the Weave Mind was made specifically for Bells Hells is not, in fact, true. The Weave Mind is an antagonist who was introduced with Bells Hells' campaign, rather like how Ludinus Da'leth is an antagonist who was introduced with the Mighty Nein's campaign and who has been the nemesis of Beau and Caleb in particular, and yet Bells Hells will be going after him in this scenario (and, to be clear, I think this is fine; I've expected Bells Hells to face off against Ludinus in the end).

I would be interested in understanding if the motivation here is "I wish the Nein were going after Ludinus and Bells Hells were going after the Weave Mind" which I think is far less interesting given that Ludinus has been such a consistent enemy of Bells Hells as well but at least I can puzzle out a not terribly intelligent but consistent sort of logic in it; or if this is a "I wish the past two parties weren't involved in this campaign at all" argument in which case, far too late for that; or if this is someone who specifically doesn't like the Mighty Nein throwing yet another tiresome and embarrassing temper tantrum on Twitter. But my opinion doesn't change; I think it's far more satisfying to see Bells Hells take on Ludinus than the Weave Mind, whom half of them haven't even met.

More generally, the idea of "doesn't deserve to fight the Weave Mind" is stupid on another level. I understand why people talk about which actual play character they wish to get the final blow on a particular enemy, even though dice will ultimately decide this. When it lines up - Vax with Thordak, Yasha with Obann - it's immensely satisfying. But you do not need to be the most wronged person to make meaning of a How Do You Want To Do This (FCG and Otohan being an obvious case here). Technically, the Volition deserves to fight the Weave Mind more! Half of Bells Hells hasn't even encountered the Weave Mind in any capacity! Braius and Dorian haven't been to the moon! Sometimes, you're fighting because it's part of, for example, a three-pronged plan that needs three separate simultaneous strike forces. Bells Hells can't do all three at once despite having claims to each of the targets unless they split up. Would you rather the parties split up in a mix of each? Because I'm not opposed per se but that could get pretty confusing all around. And if we're going to step out of the Watsonian argument that in-world, they can't do all three at once, see my next paragraph to address the Doylist "but Matt didn't need to set it up this way" one.

I am on the record as loathing the whole "it's their table and you can't criticize it because it's their game" bullshit. You can do so. You can do so even if there are very good reasons for their choices. You're always entitled to your own opinion and as long as you're not harassing people, it is morally neutral to say "this piece of fiction/art/whatever didn't do it for me," end of sentence. With that said. It's fine if people wish Campaign 3, like Campaigns 1 and 2, were more exclusively focused on one party's adventures rather than the all-hands-on-deck story that it is. But it is that story, and pretending this wasn't the result of a number of intentional choices by Matt and the cast and various collaborators is profoundly stupid at this point. I had my complaints as well, early on, but the time to get over this was episode 1, when Orym and Fearne and Dorian and Bertrand showed up with their ties to EXU and C1. Or it was episode 6, when Laudna revealed her connection to Delilah. Or episode 35, when that connection to Keyleth was leveraged. Or episode 50, when Beau and Caleb appeared; or Episode 51, when multiple past PCs were present at the solstice; or Episode 66, when we further met with Keyleth; or Episode 86, when Sending came back on and both Caleb and Jester spoke to the party; or Episode 92, when we cut back to the Crown Keepers; or Episode 94, when Essek showed up; or Episode 99, when Downfall began. If you're still holding on hope now in the endgame, I think it's too late. That's not the campaign this is, and it never was, and you can wish that you had something more self-contained like Campaign 1 or 2 but with Bells Hells, but that's all it is - a wish, unfulfilled.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Redson is very much the spoiled child throwing a tantrum at his grounding. That is absolutely not fair! Just a few days prior, his parents were maniacally laughing at the idea of conquest and destruction. What suddenly changed!? It's all just boiling down to Redson not coping with the new and unexpected shift in his parents' moral compass after reuniting with Wukong well at all. His whole life he'd been told stories about his father's exploits and dreams of conquest thay got ruined by Sun Wukong amd whole he knows Wukong is his uncle, most of his knowledge of him up until that point ia Wukong sealing his father away making him an enemy. He does not understand why the idea that his little brother might fear him shakes his father so much, mainly because he doesn't understand the underlying complexity in DBK and Sun Wukong's relationship at that point.

Prev on Marble Egg au.

Yeah, Red Son isn't having a fun time. From his perspective, he's been gearing up to help his parents take over the world for centuries, only for his mom and dad to decide "Nah we ain't doing that anymore." and start being chummy with the very man who sealed his father away for 500 years! This also applies to the Slow Boiled au.

He knows Wukong is his uncle by bond. But he also grew up being told how much he hurt his family. From Red's perspective, its like DBK forgave his deadbeat brother for nearly killing him.

Add on the fact that Red canonically didn't know/remember the Samadhi Fire ritual, and Red feels no "debt" to Sun Wukong like his parents do. Red causes a lot of havoc in S1 in order to make up for his parents "sudden" change of heart.

But a major factor that Red misses, something that only comes to a head around the end of S1 with his father falling under LBD's control; is that his father is disappointed. Not in Red, never in his dear calf, even if DBK is finding it hard to bond with the grown-up version of his child. But in himself.

DBK, post S1: "Son, are you... afraid of me?" Red Son, confused: "About as much as a child should be of their father. Why?" DBK, disappointed huff: "There's a fine line between respect and terror. With respect, people react towards your character - with fear they only react to avoid your hand... I never wanted Sun Wukong to be afraid to confront me." Red Son, incensed: "But father! He humiliated you! He locked you away for 500 years! He took you from us!" DBK, voice raising: "And you think you would have been better off had I been successful!?" Red Son: (*flinches at the raise of DBK's voice*) DBK: (*pales as he notices Red's reaction.*) DBK: "Son I... I never wanted my family to fear me. I never wanted to be the sort of father who's child flinched at his words... not like my own. I hope you come to understand my reasoning for abandoning our plans." (*leaves*) Red Son: (*concerned and even more confused*)

Another part of DBK's disappointment in becoming a threat to his brother, is the thought that he had become a threat to his own child. He never wanted that. He pacified Heaven and abandoned Hell in order to have a family he would cherish, why would he ever want them to fear him?

The cause behind his rampage all those years ago is lost to the ages, and DBK doesn't even care to remember any more. He needs to rebuild the bond between his family, one chain at a time.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I liked Kieran, maybe only because he reminded me of myself as a kid. Constantly feeling left out and being both harassed for everything you do do and never being trusted with anything to even proof yourself capable, like the knowledge about the truth about ogerpon. I still am, working on that, but was way more jealous of other people hanging out with my friends simply because I had so precious few. Idk how much it would have fucked with me if my verbally abusive older sister (I do also have one of those) simply decided that one of my friends was now one of hers instead and kicking me out while my friend isn't saying or doing anything to be like "no, actually I want to spend time with [anon] too".

Obviously his obsession with ogerpon and the following Drive to get stronger is pretty hyperbolic but I did also have a bit of that. Just rejecting everything, throwing everything back at everyone since it was, or at least felt, like its always my family and the people around me just throwing shit at me too. Did I overreact a bunch of times? Oh yeah for sure. Teenage tantrums will get ya, but I really did need that. Without it I don't think I would have ever learned to call out my family's abuse and other people treating me poorly. Since as a kid that just radiates low self esteem you seem to get treated like shit from just about everyone.

Anyway all that is to say, throwing around things like "I think this kid would shoot up a school if only he had access to guns" isn't, imho, great. And I don't even really particularly care about your instance rn, like it's a fictional character in a Pokémon game who cares. So sorry for being the one who got my rant lol. It's just something I've been seeing more of lately, people throwing "they'd shoot up a school" not only at fictional characters but actual human beings. Which I think is fucked. Thankfully no one ever said that to me, but I cannot imagine how hurtful that must be, like if we ignore all the other negative effects it has for a second, when your actual school life was hell enough to make you consider ending your own life, like it was for me, to just get thrown another brick at your head that people think you would be monster enough to murder people.

...well there's a lot to unpack here.

So first up, you have my genuine condolences for your extraordinarily shitty school life. You clearly had the very rough end of the stick, and it's clearly still hurting, and that sucks.

However. I am not thrilled that you just trauma dumped in my inbox because you over-projected onto a fictional character, and I'll ask you not to do that again. Particularly when your "rant" is explicitly aimed at trying to make me feel bad for criticising a fictional character that you, once again, have over-projected onto.

Like listen, I too had an extraordinarily shitty school life, and I also had very few friends (and at three separate extended points, a combination of Literally No Friends At All, AND Being Actively Targeted For Bullying; the first time around, the bullying was led by the class teacher, even.) I have very much been there, done that and got an entire t-shirt shop. But I still didn't come away from that feeling that I was entitled to other people liking me or wanting to be friends with me, because no one is obliged to like or be friends with anyone else. I may have occasionally felt jealous, but I didn't throw tantrums and demand perfect loyalty from the few friends I did make, because that would have been abusive as all hell and would have justly made them want nothing to do with me. And, crucially and relevantly to the fictional character in the fictional world that we are discussing, I did not fixate on someone I wanted to be my friend, see that they were afraid of me and wanted to be friends with someone else, and then throw such a tantrum about it that I physically fought that someone else for the 'rights' to that friend regardless of their consent in that matter, apparently with the intention of abducting them if I won. And on losing that fight, I did not storm off and start amassing a collection of stronger and stronger weapons so I could take over my school and prove my dominance over them, emotionally abusing anyone who couldn't keep up with me because of family problems along the way. I presume you did not either!

And if I had, then the trauma and loneliness I received would be irrelevant - actions borne of trauma are still actions, with real world consequences, and you are still responsible for them regardless of how bad you felt.

(I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but school shooters are people who are also lonely and often bullied. It's very interesting therefore that you dismiss them as "monsters" while demanding that all behaviour from such people up to the shooting be excused. But the issue with such people is the entitlement they feel and the abuse they therefore dish out. Shootings are just the most extreme symptom of that - they're far from the only symptom.)

I cannot stress this enough - you are not the fictional character of Kieran in the game Pokémon Scarlet and Violet. You did not make his choices, or perform his actions (I assume). Criticism of him is not criticism of you. No one is accusing you of being about to shoot up a school. You state that you don't care that he's a fictional character, but I'm afraid you very much should, because that is the crucial difference. I am sorry that you're seeing a lot of people accusing real life people of being school shooters, but that is not what has happened here, is it?

You're welcome to write back. But I'll warn you very clearly - I am absolutely not at home to you trauma dumping further, or trying to make me feel guilty for talking about a fictional character because you have over-projected and therefore are taking it personally. That is a You Problem, and I will block you without reading if you do.

However, I am going to finish by reiterating my very genuine sympathies for your school experience. It truly was an appalling time for me, and it seems like it was for you, too. I hope you can process that trauma now, and find peace.

[amai-sakura-chan]

A lil more ame angst. I hope this makes sense

Summary: Daddy issues

🥳🥳

It was a rainy night, and most people chose to stay inside, family members huddled close together. The rain poured heavily outside, with the possibility of a storm looming. However, that's not our main focus here; let's turn our attention to a cherished girl named Ame. She lived alone for personal reasons.

"What if I decide to cook something tonight? The weather is too severe to order food, and I wouldn't want to trouble anyone by forcing them out in this weather. Yippee! Okay, so I'll need some—" she began before being interrupted by a ringing phone. "Someone's calling? Oh, it's Dad... why the fuck would he call me? Better pickup before he'll throw a tantrum"

She rushed to her phone, picked it up, and answered the call. "Hello! Hello!! Ame here." "Ame, I just heard about your most recent show and that it brought in more money than usual right?" her father asked through the phone. "What happened to 'hello'? How are you, my lovely daughter? It's been a while. None of that; let's get straight to the point—" "We are not playing games here!" he shouted from the other end. "You worthless child! Sometimes I even wonder why you exist. All you do is bring misfortune to this family."

"W-well, you're not any better than me; you also—" "SHUT UP! You are of no use here! I wonder why you're even in this family. Its liek you dont even try" "I have tried. You don't know how hard I've been trying," she replied, before hanging up, refusing to hear another word.

Despite her disdain for her father, his words still stung. "I'm glad I didn't allow myself to love him; if I had, this would hurt a lot more than it already does... i fucking hate him with every bone in my body" she said, lost in thought. Doing her best as to not let tears stream down her face. She was not going to let a man's words hurt her

Without another thought she grabbed her raincoat and decided to step outside "hope I don't get recognised I didn't wear any disguises" she said walking, as she passed a street she missed the the green stop sign switching to red as she continued to walk, too concentrated on the earlier call. 'That manipulative annoying fucking douchebag, I mean who does he think he is? I do more than he's ever done. I wish I had a caring father

She suddenly heard a sudden horse carriage run. "AMAI!-" was the last thing she heard before feeling herself get hit by the carriage. Weirdly enough, she didn't feel pain. She didn't know it's because she's already hurt enough her last thought before walking in a coffin was "I'm never trusting a guy ever again"

As she lay there, the world around her faded, and the echoes of her father's harsh words lingered in her mind. In that moment, she realized that the hurt she felt from the call had overshadowed everything else. "Maybe this is my escape," she thought, but deep down, she wished for a different ending. The rain continued to pour, washing away the remnants of her pain, but it couldn't erase the memories that haunted her. "I just wanted to be seen," she whispered, drifting into silence.

Tagging:

@blood-red-hummingbee @gimmeurmoneyagh @midnightmah07 @buttholesparkles @babyghoul138 @twtysevapr @oya-oya-okay @lallopsyou @faexriefly

[eternal-love]

Austin and Me

“Baby?”

“Wife to the ‘king’. Icon to the world. Destined for more.”

Summary: At 18 years old, she fell in love with Austin, at 20 years old, she became his wife, by 22, she was his doll. In which Cynthia’s life changed drastically after falling head over heels with a man that promised her the moon and the stars. She takes us down the memory lane of what could’ve been— the perfect marriage.

Inspired by the book: Elvis and Me by Priscilla Presley.

I do not condemn any of the portrayals I decide to do about certain people, it’s just fanfiction. And it would be divided in parts.

English isn’t my first language so I’m trying my best!

MASTERLIST.

As filming started again, I saw him way less than before and that only put a strain in our relationship. Everyday I dreaded the fact that I wasn’t filming anything right now, I wanted to act, I wanted to be able to work on my craft, but I just couldn’t. I had only myself to blame, I was the one who decided to come to Australia with him, to put my career at hold.

I stayed back at home, taking care of Lori and trying to be the best mother at least, I’d call my agent whenever I could, trying to see if he could get me something to act in, even if it was just a minor role, anything.

I started to notice Austin being a bit more distracted, he was coming home late after filming, but not the normal kind of late. Tom Hanks lived a floor above us and he came at a certain hour and Austin came back usually almost three hours later.

I finally found something, some love notes. I was snooping through his jackets and pockets because it was laundry day, and I found it. I didn’t want to be nosy but I ended up being, and I regret it.

‘I can’t wait to see you again, I miss you already, baby. XOXO, Livia’

I wanted to die, I didn’t even understand half of the emotions I was feeling. I felt mad, sad, confused, irritated, jealous. Why? Why did he so this— Livia. Olivia Dejonge, his co-star, the girl playing Priscilla. I had a small battle with myself, should I confront him or should I not?

I slowly walked towards his office where he was just chilling out, drawing on a notebook while he was on a phone call with his agent.

“I don’t even want to go straight to another project in the first place…” As he saw me enter the office he ended the call, a sigh of annoyance escaped his lips. “Now don’t go on imagining things.”

“Like Olivia?” I asked, he was almost cynical as he stayed silent and got up from his desk. “Livia? Baby?” I said, the thought of him calling her baby and then calling me baby made me feel disgusted.

“I said it, woman. I don’t want to hear no more.” He walked past me but I wasn’t going to let him get away with this. I started following him towards the bedroom.

“Well tell me now, is there something you’re hiding from me? That you don’t want me to know?” I followed him, as he walked he turned to look at me and raised his voice.

“I have nothing to hide from you, you’re just being to aggressive and demanding. Like a jealous psychopath!” He yelled at me, completely making me feel as if I was overreacting.

“I’m not a psychopath!” I tried to defend myself, little did I know that Austin was actually great at gaslighting.

“You know? I think you should get a little time off and stay at another place.” He said as he went on a full temper tantrum and tossed one of my suitcases on the floor, throwing anything that I owned inside of it. He felt guilty or I made him feel guilty enough for him to start acting this way, he could’ve apologized like a normal human being would but no, he decided to start acting like a man-child. Look, I know I wasn’t the perfect woman but my goodness, it was in me to help him and to just be repaid with this? There a fucking pandemic going in the world and he was threatening me, his wife, his rock, the mother of his daughter, to basically fuck off on my own?

I got down on my knees and started placing everything in the suitcase, sobbing and flinching whenever he threw my clothes directly at me or at the suitcase. He stopped yelling and I could only hear my sobs and his heavy breathing as he iced around, apparently he calmed down, he kneeled by my side and grabbed my arms softly.

“You understand?” I looked at him, my eyes filled with tears. “Calm down baby, come on, come on.” He helped me get up and sat be on the edge of the bed with him, his arm around my shoulders and his other hand caressing my chin. “You see, baby? You need someone to keep you on check and put you in your place.” He whispered and I hugged him tightly, I knew I was stupid but I knew he was also stressed so I tried to justify it, a whole damn much. Feeling humiliated I could only sob on his shoulder, I was relieved to be back in his arms but all of this had to happen for him to finally hold me and kiss me again?

He seriously could’ve told me that the moon was made of cheese and I would have believed him in that very moment. He could break me, step or spit on me and I would have still come back to him when I was finally fine.

That same night I stayed up all night, looking at the beach from the balcony, I felt so— lonely. Truly, he was here but at the same time he wasn’t, so close yet so far away. The incident was never mentioned again, but he made sure of making me feel guilty every now and then. Like whenever he was talking with his best-friend, Ashley and I walked past him he’d say.

“No, I’m telling ya. I’m feeling depressed.” And when he noticed me walking past him, holding Lori and smiling at him, he’d give me a side-eye and tell her. “No, I feel like nobody understands me.” And he made sure I heard him.

And it really hurt me because I tried to help him but he’d shut himself out, not letting me in to help him, comfort him, talk to him and then he’d go around telling his friends and agents how depressed he felt and how nobody around him tried to help him.

I just wished he’d trust me more, I wished he went back to who he was. But little did I know that this was just a small taste of what our marriage would become.

Man, I wish I could hug Cynthia.

[elegantjellyfishwerewolf]

Why I don't like "Wizards"

In general, I think that the "Stories of Arcadia" began to slide after the release of "Three from Heaven", but more on that later. In this post there will be many comparisons of "Wizards" with "Trollhunters" due to the fact that they are a direct continuation.

1. The first thing I didn't like was that the narration was too fast, and if this is still acceptable in the first series, then in the rest such narration begins to annoy, because it does not allow you to delve into the story and concentrate on at least one action.

For example, already in the second series, a lot of things happen: the arrival at Arthur's castle, the interaction of Claire and Morgana, the acquaintance of Jim and Deya, Steve becomes a knight, the trolls escape from Camelot. Of course, there are episodes in which the narrative goes normally, for example, in 4 episod, but basically the story does not have the ability to concentrate on one moment and continues to throw out new information to us.

2.The second problem, for me personally, is the characters. 1. I really didn't like that Steve's intelligence was cut so much, he wasn't a very smart character before either, but he could still come up with interesting ideas to solve problems (for example, when in the second season he guessed to use umbrellas to help trolls), but then they made a complete jerk out of him who, throughout the entire viewing, only irritates with his tantrums. If you remove him from the series, literally nothing will change, because his "knight's arch" didn't really lead to anything. After the battle of Kilahed Bridge, he says he will continue Lancelot's cause and bring back the Knights of the Round Table, but in the end he did nothing of it. 2. Another character who, in my opinion, has become worse in "Wizards" is Claire. I'm the only one who thinks that in the two weeks she spent in Camelot, she became too good at using shadow magic, considering that she studied with Douxie, who himself said he didn't understand anything about shadow magic. And even after becoming such a professional magician, for some reason she still can't guess to open a portal under Jim and only then, after escaping from the fortress of the Secret Order, try to bring him to his senses, BUT NO! Instead, she tries to convince Jim to enter the portal himself, and when she tries to open the portal under him, Morgana has already arrived by then, and she has to retreat. 3.The third character is Douxie. I immediately say that I do not hate him, the only thing that confuses me is his age. He is 900 years old, just think about this figure! And with all this, he behaves like a teenager who is 18-19 years old. The authors are trying to show us that he has changed since the events in Camelot by showing his younger version, but these changes can happen in a maximum of 2 or 5 years, BUT NOT IN 900 YEARS!!!! While watching it, the thought did not leave me that it was a 900-year-old man who, for some reason, continues to behave like a teenager.

4.Morgana. After The Wizards, I hated her. The authors tried to make her an ambiguous character, but in the end they created a bunch of plot holes. In Wizards, she says she wants to help all magical creatures, but in Troll Hunters, when Angor asked her for help, she tricked him into serving her and killing Merlin's champions. She also stole troll children and used creepy experiments to turn them into changelings (also against their will). Yes, even in the series itself, she contradicts herself when she gives Gunmar a sword that can control the mind. 5. The secret Order. I have no doubt that the authors came up with these characters only when they were writing the script for "Wizards", and that they did not exist initially. Because after the battle on the Kilahed Bridge, they say they will now try to change the world. AND THEY DECIDED TO DO IT ONLY AFTER 900 YEARS!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!! You say that they have been recovering all this time, but I will say that only Belrog needed to be restored, and the rest of the Order members could try to carry out their plan to steal the seals alone. AND WHERE WERE THEY WHEN GUNMAR AND MORGANA ARRANGED ETERNAL NIGHT?!!?! I very much doubt that magicians of their level would not have felt such a strong release of magical energy.

3.Plot holes. There are too many of them! Literally in every episode I noticed one or another plot hole. Of those that were very noticeable: 1. Deya could not be the first hunter because Kanjigar said that troll hunters tried to kill Gunmar many times, but never won. 2. Morgana couldn't create a changeling in a couple of days, which also grew so fast. 3. When the moment came to conclude a deal between Angor and Morgana. 4. Creeper's poison created the Order of Janus, changelings could not create an order in a couple of days, and Morgana could not create such a number of changelings. 5.In the third season of trollhunters there was shown the battle of Merlin and Morgana and it had happened not only in another place but also there was no Douxie on the scene. 6. Blinky said that the confrontation between Merlin and Morgana lasted for centuries, as a result, it happened within a couple of days.

There were also many minor inconsistencies in the plot: 1. The battle on the Kilahed Bridge was different from the one we were shown in the third season of "Troll Hunters".

2. The design of the Deya is different from the statue in the forge of heroes.

3. WHY THE HELL CAN MORGANA OPEN PORTALS WITHOUT A STAFF?! Then why didn't she just create a portal in the finale of the third season and fly out of it? 4. The process of creating the amulet is different from what we were shown in the third season.

5. Where did Belrog get the staff of shadow if it was destroyed in the finale of the third season? AND WHERE DID THIS STAFF GO AFTER THE EIGHTH EPISODE?!! 6. The hand that is used to create the amulet is also different from the one that was shown to us in "Troll Hunters".

7. During Morgana's incarceration, she was wearing a helmet and a raincoat. 8.Wendel's appearance is also different from the one that was shown to us in "Troll Hunters".

(This is probably going to sound like a quibble, but why didn't Jim react to Draal in any way?)

And this is the main reasons why I can't perceive wizards as a direct continuation of the trollhunters series.

4.Of course, there were moments in this show that I liked, for example, the acquaintance of Blinky and Aarrg, the storyline of Merlin and Douxie, but, alas, the cons in this show outweighed the pros for me.

[snowball-doie]

once reyna starts making content with her dads, jooha doesn't feel envious of the spotlight on her at all, but he is quite jealous at how it means she's allowed to be seen with them more often than he is. he doesn't throw 'tantrums' over it in the same way reyna does whenever something doesn't go her way, but he does have a bit of a meltdown after he begs and begs doyoung to take him to a museum and he just keeps getting told 'no' and to 'ask his eomma'

😖 My poor Jooha nooooo- We’ll fix this asap for him: Once the boys realize “oh shit we are being unfair and lowkey neglecting our son” they spring into action.

Jooha’s a bit surprised when Jaehyun picks him up from school one day and takes him to get snacks and hang out at the park. Jaehyun pushes Jooha on the swings. They sit on the grass together and eat snacks. They play tag (Jaehyun loses). And Jooha makes a new friend, so Jaehyun swallows his anxiety and decides to introduce himself to the parents who recognize him but are polite enough to play it off and compliment him for being such a great uncle by taking Jooha out for an evening.

Then a couple of days later, Taeyong knocks on Jooha’s door and asks if he can step away from his homework for a few minutes to see something cool, and Taeyong takes Jooha to a local market where there’s tons of small aquariums filled with giant squid and crabs and whatnot. Jooha understands that they’ll be used for food later so it doesn’t bother him to at least admire them for a bit. They get seafood pancakes for dinner lmao.

On the weekend, Doyoung takes Jooha to Hangang to get convenience store food and picnic beside the water as they watch sundown. Jooha gets to see all the bugs in the grass and watch the birds that fly overhead. Doyoung gets to hold Jooha in his lap when it gets dark enough, and he ends up carrying Jooha home because he falls asleep.

A week or so later, Mark takes Jooha to a library— Not a tourist one like COEX, but a real, gigantic library where Jooha can pick out books to read for hours on end as they sit in a secluded corner together. Mark’s reading poetry for lyric inspo, but every so often Jooha will poke his dad and ask what a certain word means in Korean. On their way home, they stop by a bookstore— Mark puts on a mask and lifts his hood— so that Jooha can buy another series he’s been wanting to read.

Johnny takes Jooha to Lotte World. Since they’re family, Johnny can be seen out in a public space like that with his son who’s dressed up in a costume, a bright smile on his face, excitement coarsing through his veins as they go on their next ride together. Johnny expected that Jooha would get overstimulated by all the noise and people, but Jooha has a blast. Having a guide and security help them through parts of the park and skip the lines was probably why Jooha didn’t get overstimulated.

During a break from school, Yuta takes Jooha with him to Tokyo, a rare thing since that’s always been the daddy-daughter trip Yuta and Reyna share together. But this time Yuta wants to spend time with his son. They go on hikes, visit temples, walk through museums, etc. Jooha’s whole world expands during that trip, and he feels so loved with his dad that he ends up falling asleep cuddled in Yuta’s arms every night, which makes Yuta melt. He sends pictures of the trip to the boys and Ahri— “He looks like he’s having fun,” Ahri replies to a picture of Jooha at a temple. “He’s adorable,” Hyuck texts when he sees a picture of Jooha asleep on Yuta’s chest. “I’m glad you took him with you,” Johnny says at the end of the trip when they get home and Jooha’s running around in a t-shirt his dad bought for him at the airport.

Jungwoo takes Jooha to a small, quiet town in the South that’s along the water, somewhere that hasn’t been discovered by tourists yet. They collect seashells on the beach, and Jooha races back to the hotel to draw them in his notebook. They eat all kinds of foods Jooha’s never tried before— And they discover that Jooha’s not a fan of most of them. That’s okay. At least he tried. Jungwoo surprises his son with a kite one afternoon, so they spend their time out in the sun, flying the kite together, both of them laughing when the wind dies out and the kite crashes into the water. Jungwoo chases Jooha up and down the shoreline, both of them laughing loudly, and when Jungwoo catches his son, he scoops Jooha up then gives him a piggy-back ride to the hotel.

Haechan’s so busy he’s struggling to find time to be with either of his kids. He’s trying his best to even make it home most nights….. and he’s usually failing at that anyhow. The best he can do is one night when he gets home late, he arrives with his favorite kind of ice cream that he knows Jooha likes too. It’s late, way past everyone’s bedtime, all the adults cuddled up in someone’s bed, the kids fast asleep before they have to go to school the following morning. Hyuck stops by Doyoung’s room to kiss him and Ahri on the cheeks before he goes to Jooha’s room. “Shh, it’s just me, buddy.” Jooha whines tiredly and sits up, “Oppa?” “I brought something for you. Do you wanna see?” Jooha nods and takes his dad’s hand, following Hyuck downstairs to the dining room where Haechan sets up the ice cream. “Don’t tell eoma, okay? It’s our secret.” Jooha nods and excitedly tries to climb up into a chair, but instead, Hyuck pulls him onto his lap so that they can eat together. He asks Jooha about school, if the bullies have left him alone, if he has a crush on anyone. He asks how hanging out with his dads the past few weeks has been. Jooha eats the ice cream happily while replying earnestly. “Oppa, can I go with you and daddy on your next tour?” Hyuck hesitates, “What made you think of that?” “I never get to hang out with you…… But maybe if I went to work with you, we’d get to talk all the time.” Hyuck can’t promise that for obvious reasons, but it’s a huge wake up call that he needs to try harder to spend more time with his family.

[acourtofthought]

I know there’s been hints that SJM is most likely gonna be telling Az/Gwen’s story next. But is it weird that I hope she does Elain first. Lol you know tell all the sisters stories first. But it’s also because I don’t think I handle another book of Elucien being awkward around each other 😭

I think it would make sense for her to close out the Archeron sister's "saga" before moving on to other side characters but....I realize Sarah will write where the wind takes her.

I will just never understand the argument that Elain hasn't been set up enough to have her own book. Sarah is on record years ago as saying she's always wanted to write a book for the sisters followed by confirmation that back in 2015 / 2016 she knew early on where she wanted Elain's story to go which allowed her to plant crumbs for her story as far back as ACOMAF. She then said she KNEW who the first two spin-offs were about but was leaving the third open and considering something set in the past. In the Live Talks LA with Eva Chen in 2021 she spoke about the crumbs that were also in SF for Elain's journey. Just because she then began talking about the crumbs she laid for Az in the bonus chapter and how she wanted to further explore his character it doesn't erase that Elain's crumbs were already in the series well before that, it didn't suddenly mean that it was an absolute certainty that she decided to put aside Elain's story for Az's especially not when she said her initial plans for the spin-offs didn't change, the world just expanded.

Az is connected to the Illyrians and time travel (though we don't have a solid plot for that just yet since there was nothing left to resolve in terms of time travel by the end of HOFAS) but Elain, back in ACOWAR was connected to Koschei and Vassa (problems that have been waiting for a resolution for books now, things we were reminded of in the novella). Then in SF she was connected to the Spring Court which has been a problem for the IC because of Tamlin and it's weakened state. Feyre said "let's help one sister before helping the other", Elain began standing up for herself saying that nobody can tell her what she can and can't do and declared she'd do whatever was needed for Rhys and Feyre. She's connected to Lucien who is connected to Beron, Tamlin, the humans, all things that have plots directly connected to them. I'm not sure how Elain could be set up anymore honestly and I'm not sure why you'd want her to be further set up in a Gwynriel book. It's also not just Elain's book, it's Lucien's and the two of them combined are the most setup pairing of the entire series, even more than Nessian was.

But I agree, there's nowhere for the Elain / Lucien bond to go but resolution at this point. We're not going to see Elain break her silence towards Lucien until we have her POV so another book where we have everyone commenting "there's Elain ignoring Lucien again" would feel ridiculous. I also think it's important for Elain's arc and her HEA with Lucien for her to not default to him simply because he's the last man standing in her vicinity. The plot surrounding her has been her struggle with fate versus choice and to have her end up with Lucien because the rest of the IC got paired off seems a strange direction for her story to take. I also don't think it feels right (I know it's silly to base your theory on a gut feeling but there it is) to have Az throw a tantrum about not having a bond in SF, act like a tool towards Lucien and then end up happily mated in the next book. I think his romance arc could use a bit of cooking time to make it feel a bit more well earned whereas Lucien's character has suffered and suffered and suffered. At some point, it's really too much to put one character through what she has Lucien without him getting his HEA.

[amymbona]

I feel like Josh O'Connor would do so good in some kind of indie psychological thriller-ish movie. Basically La chimera but a little less romantic and more harsh. Maybe a bit futuristic too.

Like I can imagine his character throwing a tantrum, yelling as the world spins around him and then falling to his knees, sobbing (bonus points for close up shots of his pale face, scrunched nose, biting his lips as he attempts to silence himself but is unable to) and completely losing it.

The more absurd the story is, the better it fits the character, almost as if everything that happens are just little, individual stories from his whole life, but in this movie, all the incidents are connected and happen over such a short period of time.

I'm sorry but he should play a tortuted character, both mentally and physically. He'd look so good with a thick leather collar around his neck, chaining him to the wall when he finally discovers some cracks in this reality. I can imagine him crawling and scratching biting and trying to free himself but to no avail, as if the wall behind him was there just to swallow his whole form.

Need to see him on his knees, shouting and cursing and begging for answers and release. I physically need to see him kneel in front of someone who deems themselves his owner, ideally somebody who physically looks fragile and like they could shatter, and yet his character is unable to hurt them.

Perhaps something Stockholm syndrome-ish where he eventually breaks down and only finds comfort in his captor's arms, laying with his head on their lap, that stupid collar still around his neck (again, a close up shot on his face, eyes red and snot running from his nose as his hair is being stroked tenderly).

I can see the grand finale, something strange possessing him, helping him break from whatever force was holding him back. He slams a vase against the back of his captor's head, and then gently lowers them down, stroking their cheek and telling them that it's okay, that he forgives them. And when he finally gets through the maze of locks and riddles and uses all the acquired knowledge to find some door or portal or his way home, he turns back. The sound of somebody's heartbeat is heard and suddenly, his said captor's body is laid on the floor, having transported right behind him, as if it followed him the entire time.

He drops to his knees and takes their head into his hands, wiping away the tears and blood tenderly, and he's crying too (another close up on his face, his expression making it clear that he can't decide, that he doesn't know what to do), he's almost feeling bad. The final shot shows us that he moves to pick the body up, but we never see him do that because the screen goes black. And that's it, that's how it ends.

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Chapter Eight

Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Y/N Burgess is the granddaughter of Alex and Paul, and after having spent so many summers at their manor and always wondering why she was forbidden from entering the basement, she descends the steps into the world of the Order. She broke out the being that had been trapped in that glass cage, but what does he want with her now that he is free?

Warnings: Language, Reader Throws A Tantrum/Has A Meltdown.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!GranddaughterReader, based on Netflix’s ‘The Sandman’, Reader now has long-ish hair for plot reasons (Just so Morpheus can tug on it later).

Word Count: ~2.2k

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Looking at the scratches on your upper arm in the bathroom mirror, you applied another layer of ointment with a frown, wondering why it was taking so long to heal. Three weeks was plenty of time for them to at least scab over. Wounds just didn’t heal this slowly unless infected, which the lines didn’t appear to be. But you were pretty sure that the little black veins coming from the cuts weren’t supposed to be there…

“Worry about that later, you have a mission to complete, Y/N.” You told yourself, looking yourself directly in the eyes. You had decided that after three weeks of toying with the idea of just outright talking to Paul about what was down in the basement, today was the day. Besides, you could always use your wound as a trump card. Getting periodically chased and then banged up by those beasts from hell was wearing you down like an overstretched rubber band. At some point you were bound to snap. Thankfully you hadn’t gotten any more bad scratches, but the bruises and occasional nicks you received stumbling your way through The Dreaming, were getting harder and harder to pass off as hiking injuries. The gouge on your jaw was blatant and no amount of cosmetics could conceal the scab that had formed.

Merv and Lucienne were trying their best to help you stay safe from the beasts, but they could only do so much against the determined beasts. In the end, Lucienne called you an Enigma she was determined to solve. Spending time with the castles janitor Merv had you realizing just how much of a potty mouth the talking pumpkin-headed scarecrow had, and his facial expressions were hilariously accurate to his moods. Then there was the care of their missing king. You found their absolute loyalty to him rather admirable since learning that the king had been missing for over a century. One had to be quite dedicated to remain at their post for this long with a missing sovereign.

Abandoning your bathroom, you rewrapped the bandage around your scratches before tugging down the sleeve of your shirt. Breakfast was at eight o’clock exactly and Alex’s home physical therapy appointment was at nine thirty, that gave you a chance to talk to Paul without causing Alex any distress. You slowly made your way to the first floor and entered the dining room, moving straight for the tea tray first. You fixed yourself a cup of tea and sat down, glancing at your grandfathers.

“Good morning,” You spoke, taking a sip of tea. Paul looked over his glasses at you and Alex’s gaze narrowed on your jaw.

“Good morning, darling, sleep well?” Paul broached cheerfully, trying to cut the tension between the three of you.

“Quite well, grandpapa, and you?” You returned, keeping the fake pretense of calm.

“Very well, very well,” Alex let out a huff, clearly perturbed by your demeanor.

“Out with it!” Alex rasped, looking between you and Paul. “Whatever it is that’s between you two that you’ve been quarreling about for the last three weeks I’ve had enough of!”

Paul looked guilty while you set your gaze on the sigil mounted on the wall across from the table, your lips pursed.

“It’s nothing, darling, really. Y/N and I have simply a disagreement on a matter. It’s nothing to work yourself up about.” A disagreement on a matter? Surely you could have come up with a better excuse or lie than that, Paul. It wasn’t even believable to you.

“It’s about the garden,” You added, looking at Alex who’s eyes shrewdly examined yours. “I think that it needs a change, or perhaps a refresh? It hasn’t been updated or refreshed since before I was born. Surely its design is outdated…”

“It is most certainly not!” Paul exclaimed, insulted by your words. Just the reaction you were looking for. The grounds were Paul’s pride and joy, always had been since he’d been but a mere worker for Fawny Rig. You raised an eyebrow in counter, challenging Paul to refute your words. “The design is classic and the plant choice has been carefully selected to compliment the natural foliage.”

“I’m pretty sure the Columbine is over taking the Iris’s and the pond plants are strangling the lilies. I also believe you’ve managed to cross-breed a new species of moss. May I offer you my congratulations?” Paul scoffed while Herman wheeled in the breakfast cart. Your eyes didn’t stray from Paul’s as breakfast was served.

“Everything alright?” Herman asked, looking between the three of you. Alex let out a grumpy sigh, tapping his cane on the ground.

“Paul and Y/N are arguing over the garden this morning, Herman.” Alex said, his attention switching over to the plate in front of him. Paul snorted at his partner and picked up his fork, ending the conversation. Looking down at your own breakfast, you picked at the food. Garden aside, you were on the edge of your seat. You didn’t like the idea of forcing answers out of Paul, but he and Alex left you no choice. At least the rest of breakfast wasn’t as awkward as it had been at the start. When breakfast was finished, you helped Herman clear up before getting Alex to the room where he had his physical therapy. You made sure that he was set and comfortable before heading off to corner Paul.

You checked the dining room first, but he was no longer reading the morning post there, so you started walking around, poking your head in rooms until you found him. After checking a few rooms, one of the scant maids informed you that he was now in the study, reading. So you headed for the study, steeling your nerves for what you felt was going to be a very difficult conversation. It seemed like he was waiting for you to find him, because when you appeared in his peripheral he patted the spot next to him on the couch. That wasn’t a good sign. You sat down next to him and drummed your fingernails on your thighs.

It was a few seconds before he spoke or moved.

“Your grandfather will be very unhappy when he finds out that I’ve told you, but you have to understand, Y/N.” Paul started ever so softly. “This has tormented Alex for so long, all he wanted was to keep us safe. To keep you safe.”

Safe? Exactly what was down there? What was hidden beneath the manor mortars?

“I don’t understand, grandpapa,” You spoke in confusion. “Protect me from what? What could have such a hold on grandpapa Alex that it has tormented him for years?”

Alex slowly closed the book he had been reading and set it aside. He then reached for your hand and took it, giving your hand a squeeze as he looked into your eyes.

“Before I show you, I need to tell you about your great grandfather, Roderick.” You leaned back in your seat. Your lips pursing together. You had figured it had something to do with what you learned while at the archives.

“I know about his obsession with the occult.” You said, chewing on your lip. “And I am also aware of the Order of Ancient Mysteries.”

“I figured as such, you are our granddaughter… but you don’t know what Roderick did, Y/N.” Paul said, his face gravely serious. “He didn’t just dabble in the occult, he was obsessed with it, and one night, one night he took it too far and we’ve had to deal with the repercussions.”

“What did he do?”

“He tried to summon Death.” Tried to? Well he obviously wasn’t successful and ended up summoning something else… and the only reason you could believe what he was talking about was because of your dreams and everything that had happened to you recently. Paul stood up and tugged on your hand. “Come, darling, it is time you see what is in the basement.”

You stood up from the couch and let him lead you towards that basement door you had always been told to never go near. As he punched in the code to the door, that nauseating pit of dread in your stomach rebelled and you started feeling physically sick. You walked down the stone steps and every step you took felt heavier and heavier. Your heart started to race. Reaching the bottom of the stone stairs, Paul took a right and moved forwards a few steps before stopping. He looked at you.

“Please, darling, don’t judge us until you have the full story. This has been quite difficult, especially for Alex.” You didn’t like how he said those words and looking down at the arm he gestured towards the end of the metal and stone hall, you started moving forwards. Judging by the way the basement was set up, it probably was used as a dungeon when it was first constructed. Approaching the open gates on the left, you looked at the security guards sitting at a modern table, minding to themselves. You slowed down and Paul wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “If you don’t want to see, I completely understand.”

“I’m through wondering,” You told him. He gave you a firm nod and you both turned and walked down the stone steps of the brightly lit room. You froze in place the moment your eyes caught sight of what was in the middle of the room. It felt like your heart had stopped or your blood had turned to ice. Feeling like you were going to throw up, you were caught in silver blue eyes staring into yours, trapped behind a cage of glass. “What have you done.” You whispered those words so softly you almost didn’t hear them yourself. It couldn’t be coincidental that the man that had plagued you nearly your entire life, was the very man trapped in the basement of Fawny Rig.

His gaze pierced into yours as if to say ‘finally’. You were compelled to step forward in a trance, approach him in a mindless state, entirely captivated by his beauty and frightfully vibrant eyes. But the horror and dread that rotted away in your veins kept you rooted in your spot. You felt petrified, your body shaking with visible trembles. All those years of torture, pain, and suffering, condensing into this one moment that stole your breath from your lungs. But what you felt was dichotomous. Beyond the horror and fear was an impenetrable feeling of possession. You were his.

“How long?” You finally whispered, looking at Paul. “How long has he been down here?”

Paul looked entirely uncomfortable with that question, but answered honestly.

“It has been over one hundred years… but Darling, you have to understand. He is dangerous—“

“You and I need to have a word upstairs.” You spoke, your voice now eerily calm. “Now.”

You gave the man that haunted you in both your waking hours and dreams, one last look before turning around and striding from the basement. Paul reluctantly followed behind you. As you walked, you could feel your body quivering with rage and horror. It was an indescribably dreadful feeling and one that shook you to the core. You knew exactly who he was and his imprisonment was far worse than what your grandfathers’ probably thought. You walked your way to the study, not wanting your incoming shouting to disturb Alex. The moment the study door was shut you exploded.

“Do you have any idea what you have done!?” You exploded, rounding on Paul like a viper poised to strike. “Never mind that you are keeping him locked up in a glass cage like an animal, unwilling and in such state!”

“Darling he is a very old, very dangerous being!” Paul argued back. “After Roderick summoned and trapped him, we could not guarantee that upon letting him free, he would not retaliate!”

“Well of course he’ll retaliate! He’s being held against his will!” You argued back, running a frustrated hand through your hair. “This is… bloody hell you’ve no idea what you’ve done by keeping him trapped.”

“Y/N, you must understand, Roderick, when learning that he could not get the being to cooperate with him, performed another spell. He’s bound to the Burgess line and will pick someone to bind himself to! We’ve no idea what will happen when he is freed and we don’t want anything to happen to you. We don’t want him going after you.” Your anger broke ever so slightly. You were still shaking at the revelation of course, but he and Alex were trying to make sure that you wouldn’t be hurt.

“Grandpapa,” You whispered, turning your eyes to him with a defeated look in on your face. “It’s already too late for that, who do you think he chose?” Paul’s face turned ashen, for it was that moment that he realized that you knew far more than he or Alex had anticipated.

“That went better then expected,” Fred spoke, adjusting himself in his seat. “Expected ‘er to go off on ‘em right there.”

“Yeah well, she wanted to talk, didn’ she?” Ernie replied, looking at Fred. “From the look on her face I suspect that the mum isn’t to happy.”

An explosive voice erupted from above and the pair glanced at the ceiling. There was more yelling, floating down from the ceiling like snow from the sky, the voice of Y/N Burgess quite clear and irate. Even the being, still and statuesque as ever, lifted his eyes upwards. Ernie cocked her head as the shouting intensified.

“Right mad, she is.” Fred chuckled with a small laugh. “Always took her to be a firecracker.”

They both looked to the man they were guarding, he was back to sitting cross legged in the center of his cage. They both shivered. In all their years of guarding, they had never seen his eyes blazing such a frightening silver glow.

Date Published: 9/9/22

Last Edit: 5/29/23

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[einloukrativesangebot]

January 2024 Destiel Fic Recs

Here are some of my favourite Destiel fics posted in January 2024. The point of this rec list is to shine light on some new fics that otherwise might go drowing in the ocean of Destiel fics on ao3.

cure of all, this fruit divine by hurtygurdyman

Father, I am sorry my nature does not come easily to me. I know neither how I was made nor why I feel so alone.Cas draws a line in the soil that will one day become the Mississippi River. He looks up at God with a feeling in his gut he doesn’t want to name. spnflash day 4: envy.

This one is very short and poetic. (868 words)

i'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet by 13zepptraxx

“Thanks,” he whispers still, allowing Castiel’s hand to reside on the side of his face. He could shrug it away, and he knows he probably should, because right now he and Cas are tiptoeing along a line set a long time ago, one that they both silently agreed they should never cross. Across this line is uncharted waters, unknown consequences, no semblance of what will become; but it’s important to note that Dean wants to cross that line, all the time, every single day. He yearns so badly for it; so he’s taking this moment, this blurring of the line. Tomorrow they can go back to only looking at one another when the other is looking elsewhere, and stealing touches in the form of healing or in a quick pat on the shoulder that turns into a balled fist as they walk away. Tonight, Dean will allow himself to be weak.

Everything about this fic is just perfect. The fucking hours I spend going through every fic posted in january were worth it just for this one, honestly. (1,642 words)

What a Brave Little Ant You Are by withthekeyisking

The first time man-in-charge Cas shows up at Bobby's place, Dean promptly flips the fuck out and shoots him.By the fourth time, Dean doesn't bother reaching for his gun.

Season 7 godstiel, very interesting dynamic. (2,320 words)

Baker Company Pie by S1nging_Y0u_S0ftly

Castiel remembers a recipe from the Great Depression, and decides to bake it for Dean. It's a water pie, something he'd had a few times as a child and remembers it being edible. It will have to do.

This is a coda fic for Ninety One Whiskey, and if I loved 91w as much as I did, you'll love this one as well. (2,570 words)

Nobody Here But Us Chickens by ImYourHoneyBee

Dean has been trying out endearments inside his head for years. He can’t help it. Some sentences feel wrong on his tongue without one, the unsaid words jumping over themselves to leap out of his mouth like living things. It took him a long time to label it love, but what else could the urge be when Cas makes him feel so much? When Cas is hurt, Dean's gruff, “You good?” needs a comma and a ‘sweetheart’ at the end. Calling out in a dank, dusty storage room for a hand with hauling boxes or needing a clarifying eye on an obscure, potentially magical trinket wants to start with a questioning, “Hey, honey?” He can almost taste it, dripping off his tongue sweet and wanting, casual in its intimacy. Sometimes, Dean slips up. “Good morning, sunshine,” while passing Cas a doctored-up cup of coffee in his favourite mug has become a morning ritual. It’s innocuous enough to get away with if he doesn’t think about it too hard. Sometimes, he tries his best to make it sarcastic, but it inevitably comes out too sincere. Cas hasn't caught on yet, though, and Sam has stopped shooting him questioning side-eyes, so Dean's pretty sure he's pulling it off. The problem is that it’s not enough. It’s never enough. 

Very fluffy, they are soo soft in this, I love it. (4022 words)

45 by soft_pine

Dean's 4th, 5th, and 45th birthdays.

The contrast between those birthdays just chef's kiss! (1,158 words)

found it here in your love by nevernevergirl

Dean's birthday doesn't go as planned. Cas is definitely not throwing a tantrum about it. (In which learning to live your life after nearly two decades of saving the actual world is a process. They're doing it together, though.)

Another Dean's birthday fic, I actually read this one his birthday :). (2,779 words)

Don’t Let the Sound (of Your Own Wheels) Drive You Crazy by Eightbitpale

Like a crazy person, like this is new information, Dean thinks: there’s an angel of the lord in my passenger seat. One day I brought him home with me and he hasn’t left since. Cas sighs loudly, and turns a little in his seat to look at Dean head on.

“You’re thinking very loudly.”

“Don’t read my thoughts, Cas”, Dean replies on autopilot, knowing even as he says it that that’s not what the angel meant. There’s a beat of silence between them where Cas just lets the tension hang, knowing all too well that the steely look he’s currently beaming into the side of Dean’s head is enough to make him crack eventually. Dean cracks. “I guess I was just thinking that some shit never changes, y’know?”Its been a long drive. Dean is thinking loudly.

I love the way this one was written, the atmosphere was really special.(3,917 words)

I (22m) am concerned about a coworker (30sm) but am wary of getting too involved in his life by bitterred

A coworker at the Gas-N-Sip that Castiel works at has noticed some weird things about him and decided to write into /r/relationships for advice. "I (22M) have a coworker (mid-30s, I think, M) and this dude (I guess I’ll call him Steve, it's anonymous enough) is more than a little weird. We work at a convenience store/gas station. It’s like he doesn’t understand any pop culture reference, at all, but talks about stuff from ancient history (like, literally, stuff that is in the bible) like he knows it happened for sure."

Short reddit fic about a one of Cas' coworkers perspective on Dean. (492 words)

but honey, most of them are true by Owco

Sam overhears some gossip between two hunters at a bar. He is surprised to learn that it’s all true. Set sometime after Exodus, around Let the Good Times Roll.

A very funny and unique take on the "Sam finds out about Dean and Cas"- trope. (2,996 words)

If you read and enjoy these fics make sure that you leave kudos and/or write a comment! Some of these stories are first fic the author posted on ao3 and they deserve all the love and motivation.

(And please feel free to point out any mistakes I might have made with the links and stuff... hope you enjoy! See you next month for the february recs.)