#If anything has any questions feel free to ask teehee | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mamawasatesttube · 6 months ago

Note

I feel so shy not being able to hide in the anon asks but for the sake of desperation I'll ask anyway.

First of all I must say that I love the way you express yourself, because even though you are against some things, or at least you don't like them. You express it so well and so respectful that's addicting.

Anyway the questions were what you thought about Tim+Kon+Bernard, because I've seen a lot of people talking about it but I don't know if it makes much sense if you think of their relationship.

Also if you had some songs that reminded you of Kon I'd love the recs! Because I'm still a newbie in the whole DC comics, but I've been having a Kon brain rot for a while.

Sorry if I don't express myself correctly, English isn't my first language. If any of this makes you uncomfy please feel free of ignoring me and I hope you have plenty of good days!!💕💕 Be careful to not catch a cold

aww thank you that's very sweet of you to say!!! :D i do love to simply start talking and rambling all the time. one of my top skills. (and yeah i turned off anon asks a while ago because unfortunately talking about racism in fandom often gets you labelled a bitch with a terrible personality 😔✊ alas!)

as for tim/kon/bernard ... i really, really dislike that ship. it takes everything i already strongly dislike about tim/ber (tim drake: robin is the worst comic i've ever read, and i'm including jeph loeb's supergirl when i say this), and multiplies it by a factor of about 500.

my biggest problem with tim/ber is that megfitz wrote them with absolutely no actual chemistry. there is nothing in the text to tell me why they actually like each other. there is nothing in the text that tells me what the issues in their relationship are, or how they might grow together as people, or anything. which is absolutely insane because you'd think "bernard knows tim's secret identity, but has not told tim that he knows" would be a MAJOR point of conflict, but instead it's just completely glossed over to the point of the comic asking us to accept that the bats would ever allow a mob of random civilians on a mission with them. there's stretching suspension of disbelief, and then there's putting suspension of disbelief on the medieval torture rack and tearing it apart. like. come ON. (tdr is also like. teehee gentrification but its cute? which is insane to me in a different way. its just. its so bad. its such a bad comic.)

so adding kon to that mix kind of gives me hives because a) we have all of my issues with tdr being incredibly inconsistent, both internally and with all existing tim characterization ever, and b) it brings up all of my issues with how kon has been written since yj2019. which i could get into Yet Again but in the interests of being at least a little bit concise, it's also incredibly inconsistent and drives me bonkers. so the concept of this ship just makes me go "why the FUCK" because i just truly genuinely cannot fathom why kon and bernard would ever give a shit about each other. i can barely even fathom why tim and bernard give a shit about each other because megfitz did the comic script equivalent of picking up two barbie dolls and mashing them together and going LOOK THEYRE IN LOVE. they have no consistent characterization under her pen.

so adding kon into that just makes me want to tear my hair out a little bit because. like. to be entirely honest i don't know how some random dude from one of tim's many high schools who tim was friendly with, sure, but not particularly close with, can hold a candle to Whatever The Fuck Tim And Kon Have Going On. especially with how flat their relationship reads to me in tdr (what do they even like about each other??? why is bernard in fucking biophysics or whatever while wanting to be a chef??? why does tim not go "you know culinary school exists right??" when he finds out??? how am i supposed to believe that tim "duty" drake would ever leave people in a burning building just for his sad boyfriend??? that batman and co would ever let a bunch of civilians fight alongside them - or for that matter, that they'd need bernard to tell them tim's in trouble?? what the fuck alternate dimension are they from where any of this makes sense???). tim/ber just is such a nothing ship to me that adding kon to it is just like. EXTREME nothing. to me tim/ber/kon is basically a flag that says "i don't care about characterization" and it's just so very deeply NOT my thing at all whatsoever.

...which is why to ME tim's first boyfriend is ives, not bernard, and in this essay i will--

ahem. anyways!! re: kon songs, oh man i have a lot. i have a whole playlist even. with a linked document to explain every song choice. i also lately have been thinking about making a second playlist for all the songs that didn't make it onto the first one!! much to consider.

also don't worry your english is totally fine ♥ and it's very sweet of you to wish me well healthwise and also a little funny because actually i am just getting over a cold that had me sniffly and miserable most of last week. but i'm much better tonight so yippee!! thank you again :D

#answers #3stela #ough this got so long im so sorry. i have opinions

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avocado-writing · 1 year ago

Text

notes: i did this instead of anything in my inbox. sorry but it overtook me and became much longer than I thought. also I wrote raphael as the little sub he is teehee.

relationships: raphael x reader; enver gortash & reader (platonic, parent & child); eventual enver gortash x tav

words: 4k

rating: E

summary: a warlock of Raphael's, you visit the House of Hope one day and find a child. he cannot remain there.

Your life, really, is fine. Maybe a bit empty. But fine.

You’ve had Raphael as your Warlock patron for a while now. It’s fine too, he’s fine, there are definitely worse devils to be indebted to - the fact he’s attractive isn’t so bad either. You started fucking a few years ago and he’s basically wrapped around your little finger at this point. He’s still annoying as all hells but he bottoms well enough and the two of you enjoy being on each other’s good side, so it works out. Mostly what he has you do is track down and kill people who’ve pissed him off - and a lot of people have pissed him off, he’s very piss off-able to be fair, so there’s always plenty of jobs and you come to the House of Hope often, in between the mercenary work you do to survive.

This time you just finished hunting down someone who tried to weasel out of their contract. Raphael had you bring him the man’s head as proof of your work, and then you made him give you head after. Par for the course nowadays.

You peel yourself out of Raphael’s embrace as he bathes in the afterglow of getting spoiled in bed by you. You throw on your pants, and go to grab a bite to eat. Your patron always has a feast ready. It’s something to keep his servants distracted with, the constant cooking and replacing of dishes, and it’s nice to never be hungry when you’re here. You saunter into the banquet room and go to pick up a fistful of grapes…

… pausing when you see something utterly fucking shocking.

A little boy. Making himself as small as possible, dark messy hair and darker sunken eyes, all curled up by the fire. He looks at you with terror and you yelp in surprise, grabbing a spare tablecloth to quickly cover yourself with.

“What the fuck?!” you manage, looking around for answers to the unasked question. Nobody is here to give you any. Fucking lost souls, never here when you need them. You turn back to the boy who looks utterly terrified. “Are you meant to be here?”

He visibly swallows, nervous, and nods. Okay, right, great. Kid in the middle of hell. Of course. You're about to find Raphael and give him a grilling, when you hear a little stomach rumble.

You freeze, raise an eyebrow. Almost impossibly he shrinks further into himself.

“Have you eaten, kiddo?”

He shakes his head, unable to meet your eyes. Oh, well, that won’t do.

You grab a plate and begin to load it up with food for him. He looks hopeful though he tries not to show it too much, as if you’ll punish him for the very idea of it. Gods it must have been torture for the child, sitting in front of a banquet with no invitation to gorge.

When the plate is so full that it threatens to spill over, you squat down and put it in front of him. The boy stares at it for a long moment before looking up at you.

“Go on. Dig in.”

It’s all the permission he needs. He tears into the food you’ve presented as if he’s never eaten before. As if it is ambrosia. You watch him wolf down chicken thighs so fast that he threatens to choke on them, and you feel your heart ache at the wretched sight.

“This really isn’t a place for kids. What’s your name, lad?” you ask, absent-mindedly swiping some greasy hair out of his eyes. You wonder when was the last time he washed, poor kid. He flinches at your touch a little but doesn’t stop eating, somewhat aware you’re probably the first person he’s met here who doesn’t mean him harm.

“Enver,” he says through mouthfuls of bread. You tell him your name in return, though you aren’t sure if he really listens.

“I didn’t say he could eat.”

Raphael’s voice cuts through the moment, severe, and the boy freezes mid-bite. Terror floods him. He begins to visibly shake.

Oh, no. No. You won’t be having that.

You speak aloud, voice firm.

“Well, I said he could. Ignore him, kiddo.”

You stand and put yourself between your patron and the child. This little boy has no idea who you are, but he can sense that you have some sort of power over the demon who’s walked into the room. Timidly he continues his meal. When you’re satisfied you turn to your devil, thunderous.

“Raphael? A word.”

Your tone leaves no wiggle room. He harrumphs and follows you far out of the boy’s earshot, where you unleash your fury.

“Why is there a fucking child here, Raphael?!” He rolls his eyes.

“Oh, his parents sold him to me. Well, to one of my other warlocks, actually, so through the upline he’s mine.”

He speaks as if reading from the paper, not discussing a child’s life. Your blood boils. You want to slap him, but he’d just enjoy it.

“This is no place for… well, fucking anyone, let alone a literal kid. What were you thinking?!”

He shrugs. For a devil meant to be full of cunning, Raphael rarely actually thinks through his short-term impulses into long-term plans.

“Torture him, I suppose.”

“Don’t you fucking think about it,” you say, hand instinctively summoning your blade. Raphael narrows his eyes.

“Be careful when you reach for your sword, warlock, lest you forget the person who gifted it to you.”

Fuck. Shit. What an arseache. Okay, you can’t go about this by violence, he’s right. You need to be cunning. You let yourself soften and approach him, laying your hands on his chest. He raises an eyebrow but allows you to caress him.

“Raphael, come on. You really want a child hanging around here? He’s going to ruin all our fun. I was going to have you on the banquet table later. You don’t want me to ride you while feeding you slices of apple? You enjoyed it last time…”

Your devil huffs but softens under your touch. Gods he really is easy to manipulate when you know which buttons to press.

“You’re really up in arms about him, aren’t you? Look, they gave him away for a reason. He’s not some sweet innocent. He’s a little bastard, as far as I’ve been told.”

“Please don’t do anything too harsh to him? For me? For your favourite warlock?” you ask, pouting, sliding down Raphael’s body to your knees, ready to nuzzle into his cock in exchange for his agreement.

He sags, weak for you. Got him.

“Ugh. Fine, you win, kitten. Spoilsport,” he mutters, and you slip him out of his underwear.

The next time you see Enver, it’s been a couple of weeks. You’ve just finished up a hunt and are reporting in - but he’s the first thing you check on. You find him sweeping one of the hallways, eyeing a wailing lost soul warily.

“Hey, kiddo. How are you doing?”

He jumps a little, however he looks genuinely pleased to see you. Not enough for him to smile but at least some of the tension leaves him.

“I’m alright,” he says quietly. He still looks sort of greasy. You’ll have to tell Raphael to let him bathe.

“The boss been treating you okay?”

Enver nods.

“Doesn’t really talk to me. Just tells me to do chores.”

Well that’s better than torture, you think. You reach into your pocket, root around for a bit, and hand something to him. His eyes go wide and then narrow in suspicion, and you have to reassure him that it’s not some sort of trick.

“Do you know what that is?”

“A sending stone,” he says, confidently, weighing the blue rock in his hand. You grin.

“Look at you! Clever kid. Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. So I take it you know how they work?”

“Each holder can send a message of twenty-five words a day, and the other can reply with twenty-five. Total of fifty each.”

“Precisely! I’m giving this to you for if there’s an emergency, okay? If you’re in trouble, I want you to give me a message and I’ll get here as quickly as I can.”

He eyes the stone. It’s as if he can’t quite bring himself to believe that someone genuinely cares about his wellbeing.

“Why?” he asks, after a while.

“Because you shouldn’t be down here, and Raphael can be an arsehole. But don’t worry, I can sort him out,” you say with a grin, and for the first time, Enver chuckles. You hear the sound of Raphael calling your name from down the corridor and you roll your eyes.

“Speak of the devil. Take care, Enver, alright? And remember, let me know if there’s a problem.”

He nods, tucking the stone into his pocket before you head off to tie your patron up.

You don’t hear from Enver for a week or so, but one day, when you’re on the road, you get a message coming through.

“Hello. It’s Enver. Are you having a good day?”

You look confused and reply, “Yeah, kiddo, I’m fine. Is there something the matter? Nobody’s hurting you, are they?”

Then, because it is the nature of the stone, you add: “If they are then you just say, I’ll come and set them straight.”

There’s a beat. You can imagine Enver considering his response.

“I’m fine. I just wanted to say hello.”

That’s as much communication as the day will allow but it hits you hard. Oh. He’s lonely.

And from that day on, you have a sort of penpal.

Enver messages you everyday without fail, always excited to see how you’ve been doing. He has very little to report, which you’re thankful for, because you live in fear that he will need to use the stone for its intended purpose. Occasionally he lets you know that Raphael has said something cruel or Haarlep is teasing him, and then it’s just a matter of heading to the hells and setting them straight. Haarlep is like a cat, difficult to make to do anything, but to be honest he’s your friend and will usually acquiesce after some teasing. Raphael is always a bit more difficult to persuade. He still sees the boy as his property, his thing to treat as he’d like, so you have to pull out all of your best tricks in order to convince him.

You always end up coming out on top, though. Funny that.

Your visits to the House of Hope get more regular. Enver greets you with smiles and then with laughs and then with hugs, and you find you’re growing fond of the kid. Every now and then you see a bit of the little bastard Raphael warned you of - you’ll catch him tormenting one of the damned souls down here, or attempting to trap and harass some sort of insect who accidentally crawled through one of the portals. But a soft but firm hand to turn him in the right direction is enough. He’s a boy with a bright future… if he’s nurtured.

And this place has no time for that.

You make the pitch to Raphael one night at the end of a long weekend in hell. You’ve been doing everything he’s asked of you, indulging his every whim, being ever so sweet and obedient for your master - and fucking him within an inch of his life. You relax in his bed, cuddled up to his chest, walking your fingers along the expanse of his pectorals.

“Raphael…” you say, dreamily, and he hums.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re about to push your luck?” he chuckles. You rearrange yourself to look up at him, eyes wide and wanting.

“Me? Push my luck? Never…” you run your tongue over his nipple and he groans.

“Spit it out then, kitten.”

“It’s the boy, Raphael. Can I have him? Please?”

He huffs.

“Why?”

“Why not? What does he do around here apart from take up space and eat your food? Surely you don’t really want him hanging around, do you? I’d like to be able to ride you and scream your name without the fear we’ll be overheard.”

Raphael considers this for a long time, and for a moment, you think he won’t take the bait.

“You’ll extend your pact with me. I want your soul. Forever,” he decides.

Ah. That’s quite the price. You consider it for a moment.

“...You never get to interfere with Enver’s life again,” you reply, because this is how you deal with devils. Your bargain to gain their respect. He laughs.

“Fine. The boy is off the hook.”

“Done. And I get to take him out of here and do what I want with him, no questions asked. He’s free. And I’ll do that thing you like, right now.”

His eyes sparkle.

“Deal.”

The next morning, body aching, you read through your new contract. You make some amendments in blood but sign it. The rest of your existence signed over to this damned devil. Raphael kisses you on the lips, long and languid - and when you walk out of the House of Hope it’s with Enver’s hand in yours.

“Where are we going?” he asks, quietly. He’s scared. You squeeze his fingers in reassurance.

“Well, I’m on the road a lot. We’ll be travelling. Is that okay with you, kiddo?”

He nods, excited, and you can’t help but notice how much he’s grown since you first met. He’s more than a head taller - gods, how long has he been down here? It’s not worth thinking about. He’s still pretty skinny, but you’ll fix that. Now you’re in charge of feeding him, you'll make sure he gets a good meal every night. Make sure he walks with his back straight and chin up.

Make sure he never has to feel small again.

It isn’t a perfect life, but it’s a damn sight better than what he had to put up with in the Hells. He smiles now, every day. Isn’t scared of people. Slowly grows confidence in himself because he knows that you’re in his corner, come hell or high water (literally). One day you see him drawing in a little notebook you got him, some sort of diagram far more complicated than you can understand - he explains the intricacies of the machine, so you get him some spare parts to start tinkering with. Gods the kid is a natural. So intelligent. Far smarter than you, and you’re worried you’re letting him down because you can’t keep up - but every time he shows you a new invention he seems so pleased when you compliment him.

“Look at you, kiddo! You’re amazing! I bet there’s nothing that you can’t do.”

And he looks like for the first time in his life that he believes what you’re saying.

Life isn’t easy, but it is worth living. You’re on the road more often than not. You don’t have a home to call your own, but you make sure your mercenary work is well-paid enough that you can put the two of you up in inns overnight, keep you both fed and entertained. Enver seems happy and that’s what matters.

You go back to the House of Hope as little as you can, now, reporting in when you do a job and fucking Raphael into submission. He asks you about the boy every once in a while and you palm him off with a laugh, acting as if you barely care about Enver rather than the truth: you’ve been actively putting money away towards a fund for his future.

You come back from one of your meetings late one night. You’re exhausted from what your patron has put you through and are looking forward to sleep. The portal opens into the inn you’ve booked for the night. You expect Enver to be dead to the world, but instead he’s wide awake, sitting cross-legged on his bed.

“Hey, kiddo, what are you doing up so late? Is everything okay?” you ask, surprised. Enver fidgets with his fingers.

“Does Raphael hurt you?” he blurts out. You’re shocked.

“What?”

“Do you want to be in a contract with him? Because if you don’t, I promise I’ll find a way to free you, like you freed me! I’ll get strong, really strong, and I’ll kill him for you.” His hands are balled into fists, jaw gritted. His eyes are dark in a way that’s troubling and he drops his gaze to his lap.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where’s all this coming from? Kiddo, nothing is wrong. Everything between me and Raphael is fine. I’m not unhappy or being forced into anything, I promise. What’s the matter, Enver, eh?”

When he looks up at you, there are tears pooling. He launches himself into your arms, holding you so tightly it’s as if you’re his anchor to this plane.

“I don’t want anyone to hurt you. I love you…” and then there it is. He calls you ‘mum’, or ‘dad’, or some other word that settles what you already knew: he’s come to think of you as his parent now. He freezes when he hears himself say it and you think back to when he was that scared little boy, longing for a bit of food by the fireplace.

You hold him back.

“I love you too, son,” you tell him, and the two of you stay like that for a long while.

He asks if his last name can become yours. You introduce him as your child. You are a family.

You’re right. He’s far smarter than you are, and you can’t keep up with him. It becomes more and more obvious as he gets older. He goes from brilliant teenager to incredible young man, and you’re glad that you have the funds to be able to send him to a good college and nurture his spark. You’re aware that you’re beginning to slow down a bit now. Your joints aren’t quite what they used to be, and though Raphael still covets you, he’s not oblivious to the fact that you’re getting on. His contracts for you become less vigorous. He likes to have you in his bed more than on the field. You don’t mind it, being pampered by your patron. It isn’t a bad life.

Enver doesn’t need to become Gortash. And what use has Bane for this man, this good man, this man who has made something of himself despite all of the odds stacked against him? None whatsoever. He never becomes the chosen of Tyranny. He is safe from the person he might have been.

The day he graduates at the top of his class is the proudest day of your life. You clap and cheer for him until you are hoarse, and he pretends to be embarrassed as you give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek in front of all of his friends, every inch the glowing parent.

He becomes chancellor because of his own merits, not due to any underhanded trickery. He is a master when it comes to machines. He never invents the Steel Watch because he does not have the warped mind to create them. Instead he focuses on technology to help the city of Baldur’s Gate: cleaning machines, security automatons, things which help with the admin of running to place so those in government can focus on supporting Baldurites.

He buys you a house in the upper city. You settle down there as you grow older, make friends, get plenty of visits from your son. Everyone knows how loved you are. He eventually hires a young woman named Karlach as a bodyguard who you grow fond of: she makes up in brawn what he lacks, and she always puts a smile on your face when you have the two of them around for tea.

The Absolute comes. Raphael is poking around because of course he is. He’s got some new toys by now but you’re still one of his old favourites, and a couple of his most loved tricks with your tongue mostly keep him out of the way. Plus he promised not to interfere in Enver’s life, and he’s bound by that, the tricky bastard.

Some other person is Bane’s chosen, but it is not your Enver. Instead he fights for the side of good against the Dead Three and the mindflayer invasion, an ally to this Tav, the hero of Baldur’s Gate. Through their trials the two of them end up falling in love and it’s all you could ever want for your son. When the city fights against the Elder Brain you pick up your pact weapon for the last time despite his pleas not to: you’re a Warlock, damn it, and you’re going to defend your home until your last breath.

You don’t die, which is a nice bonus.

Enver and Tav help rebuild the city once the invasion has been stopped. Not too long in the future you have grandchildren, and they are the light of your life, always silly and giggling and joyous to hear the remarkable stories from your mercenary years.

You help out where you can but your age is weighing on you. One day, you take a tumble, and suddenly you’re bedbound; Enver and your family are visiting you every day as you get weaker, and you know that your final days can’t be far off.

He sits at your bedside, your hand clamped in his. Ah, a workman’s hand. The hand of a man who is constantly inventing and working and making himself useful. The hand of a good and decent man.

“The little ones go back to school tomorrow,” he says, fondly, “Tav is relieved. They’ve been rushed off their feet during the holidays– so many years since that Absolute business, yet the legislation is still going. They need a break, really.”

“It’s exhausting being a parent, isn’t it?” you ask with a grin, before being interrupted by a rattling cough which you can’t seem to shake. Enver lifts a glass of water to your lips and you drink, thankful. “Eurgh. Sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for. I’ll call the doctor again in the morning, see if she can get you any more of that tincture. Or maybe Halsin might have some ideas…”

“Oh, Enver, don’t go through all that fuss for me. Just sit here with me, kiddo.”

When you call him that, he knows he has no choice. You are still his parent, after all. He shifts to make himself more comfortable in his bedside chair, never letting go of your hand.

“I want you to know,” you say, voice soft, “everything has been worth it, Enver. My whole life was made better because you were my son. You’re the thing that I’m most proud of.”

His eyes go wide and glass over with tears, jaw grits.

“I… don’t say things like that, please,” he says, because he’s scared of what will come after.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, kiddo. I’m right here.”

He rests his head on the side of the bed, and you can see his shoulder heave as he cries. You bury your hand in his hair, smiling when it’s still a little greasy, and then you close your eyes.

When you open them again you’re in the House of Hope.

Your body feels lighter than it has in decades. You look down to see the wrinkles and liver spots in your hands are gone. You’re wearing what can generously be called an outfit, though it’s more straps of leather criss-crossed over your body.

“Well, did you have fun? Was your deal worth it in the end?” Raphael asks. He’s leaning against the doorframe, swirling wine around in a glass in his hand, another held out to you. You take it and frown.

“Were you… were you just standing here, waiting for me to bloody die?” you ask. He harrumphs.

“You didn’t answer my question, kitten.”

You take the wine, quaff it, then pull him into a kiss. He moans into your mouth in surprise and rapture.

“Yes,” you answer, honestly, because it was worth it. You’d never have made a different choice, “now, are we going to bed, or are you just going to stand here being smug for the rest of eternity?”

Raphael grins and pulls you to the bedroom.

taglist: @ghosti02art @sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13 @trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling @wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget

#raphael x reader #enver gortash x tav #gortash x tav #gortash & reader #my writing #raphael bg3 #enver gortash #bg3 fic #fic #raphael bg3 x reader

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darlingkirstein · 1 year ago

Note

eremika in any sort of romcom setting hehe

i think this is romcom-y enough??? idk it's a silly little meet cute in fantastically cheesy unrealistic scenario so i think it fits the romcom vibe Teehee🩷 hope you enjoy my pookie wookie vic <3

actor au / fluffy / rated e for everyone / 3.6k

Mikasa toils over the counter, sifting through the different orders — many have rather well-renowned names attached — to decide which ones to tackle first. Being a barista proves more difficult than she initially imagined. All she needed was a simple job to help pay the rent; the coffee shop being on a movie studio lot has been an added bonus, a chance to mingle with stars.

And by mingle, she means floundering interactions with the latest growing stars with their persnickety drink orders, some quick to complain at the smallest errors. Whenever she gets the opportunity to see someone whose likeness is stamped on a poster in her room, Mikasa mangles all attempts at compliments. Trying to praise their work only culminates in rosy cheeks and baffled looks shot back in return.

Exhaling, she gets to work, going through the orders in a procession ascending from least complicated to most tedious. Everyone seems to want extra toppings these days, extra pumps of artificial syrups that turn their 'coffee' into little more than an excessively-priced milkshake. Whatever gets them through the day, she supposes. Making a movie is tricky work.

Mikasa understands this. Sorta. Or at least, she's attempting to. The acting jobs haven't exactly been falling into her lap, though basic probability encourages her that at least one of these countless auditions have to turn into something. She's desperate for anything — at one of her past attempts, an audition for a medicine commercial, the casting agent giggled midway through her delivery of some poorly-written script. The best Mikasa's ever gotten was being an extra for an episode of a new television show — which was promptly cancelled after a first season.

She finishes an affogato and a raspberry danish for Marilyn Lawrence, lounging around on her lunch break from shooting Saturn's Divinity. It apparently takes too much effort to acknowledge Mikasa's calls of her name, too preoccupied by whatever's on her phone to pay much attention.

"Marilyn!" Mikasa repeats, nervous for yet another celebrity interaction. Lawrence only just won a BAFTA for her performance in This Holy House.

With a scoff, the actress strolls to the counter, barely mouthing a thanks before sulking back to a table, carrying all her actress-y things with.

It's hard not to feel like pond scum when the upper echelons of the acting world are hardly willing to spare her simple pleasantries, yet alone anything resembling kindness. Mikasa brushes it off, moving onto the next order.

She just gets started before Marilyn returns.

"This isn't gluten-free, is it?" The spiteful manner in which she asks has Mikasa stammering even before she attempts to answer her question.

"I, uh— I actually don't know. Let me check."

Flustered, she ducks down, foraging for a paper or manual that lists the ingredients. This is something Mikasa knows she should remember, but this job has squeezed out so much of her brain capacity that little else remains.

"You really don't remember?" Marilyn laughs, and Mikasa can hear her continued click-clacking on the phone keyboard, probably complaining to a friend. "You could've killed me, y'know. People have this little thing called celiac. It's important."

Mikasa suspects that Marilyn Lawrence does not have Celiac disease, but she isn't willing to invite even more wrath. "I'm sorry, ma'am, you're—"

"Whatever. Just figure it out and fix it."

When Mikasa falls quiet to continue her search, she expects the frustration to simmer; it doesn't, and Marilyn continues to berate her, though most of her comments are utterly nonsensical. Mikasa's manager is nowhere to be found, useless for getting her out of this less-than-lovely situation.

Her savior comes in the form of a grey-haired gentleman in a suit, bewildered as he bursts through the door, scanning everyone inside — until his gaze falls on Mikasa. He smiles, cell phone pressed tightly against his ear. Though she cannot pin down his name, Mikasa recognizes him as some movie producer, a real big shot.

"You there! Barista! Come with me."

Stunned, Mikasa points to her chest. "Me?"

Marilyn scoffs again. "Uh, hello? What about me?"

The man ignores the Hollywood A-lister, brushing past her to reach the counter. "Yes, you. We need you. I'll explain when we get there. Come on."

Head in a tizzy, Mikasa cocks her head — squinting her eyes, unsure that she isn't fast asleep in the clutches of a dream. What did some movie executive want with some barista?

"I— I think you have the wrong person."

"Jesus, there's no time for this." He turns to the side, muttering harsh words into the phone. "Yeah— I found someone. Just give us a second."

He turns his attention back to Mikasa.

"Are you gonna come with or not? We need you."

At this point, Marilyn has surpassed the angry-scolding-stage and lands in stunned silence. Mikasa still doesn't know what she's needed for, but angering a Hollywood exec is a surefire way to get blacklisted from any future opportunities. They don't want any dead weight in a cast.

"Uh, yeah— No, I'll— I'll go. I'll go."

Opportunities like this are so rare. Mikasa gets so consumed by this fleeting chance that angering her boss isn't even a concern she consciously entertains. As the executive's eyes burn a hole through her head, she feels hypnotized to untie her apron, tossing it aside. It's tempting to pinch her arm, still convinced of a REM-induced trick, but before she can ponder it, Mikasa is crossing the counter, calling her co-worker's name.

The coffee shop's manager finally appears, and as Mikasa is whisked away by the executive's firm grasp, his protests join Marilyn's, though both go utterly unanswered as Mikasa jumps onto a golf cart waiting outside the doors.

It's hard not to feel like Cinderella climbing onto that pumpkin carriage, ready for the ball.

Mikasa's heart races. She tries guessing what possibly awaits her at the end of this ride. Some secret meeting? An agent, excited to tell her that they've been monitoring her auditions and love what they see? All options feel like a pipe dream.

They arrive at an outdoor filming set, and Mikasa wonders over the absolute chaos going on, the cameramen adjusting their equipment, the mousy-haired director shouting commands through his microphone, guiding the team. She recognizes from the lovey-dovey set design that this must be for Before Affection Retires.

"Hey," the executive barks, snapping his fingers, breaking her free from her daze. "Go over to that trailer. Get in costume and then get back here."

Costume? Mikasa is dazed. She can't produce any discernible response, tumbling out of the cart, speedwalking toward the right trailer. She's never done something requiring a costume, only her plain-old, regular street clothes, blending in easily in the background. This is all new.

Before she knows it, Mikasa is donned in a pretty dress that stops just below her knees, its color somewhere between plum and maroon, the shoulders flowy and graceful. The makeup process was even more foreign — Mikasa's daily makeup routine is simplistic to the core, but the stylist here wanted her eyelashes to pop, seductive and primed for romance. A curling iron turns her hair into bouncy, bombshell waves.

She feels so unlike herself, but adrenaline sends her speeding back for the scene of the action, toward the director still barking out commands.

"You!" He cries, pointing. "Get over here! We're starting a shoot in five minutes. Get a script."

Mikasa wonders if every movie set is this hostile, or if everyone here is just having a bad day. One page from the script gets pressed against her chest, along with one order. "Memorize this."

But before she can begin, a frazzled assistant debriefs her on the whole debacle, leading her to the side and gesturing around wildly.

"You know what you're doing? Can you act?"

Mikasa blinks. "Uh, yeah? I can, yeah."

It's clear that answer doesn't instill a whole lot of confidence in the assistant, but regardless, there's apparently no time to waste on nonsense.

"Diana Baldwin is a no show. There's no time in the schedule to skip her scenes today. You'll be filling in for her for the kiss scene. Got all that?"

Diana Baldwin? That's who I'm filling in for?

There's no time to be starstruck. "Got it. Yup."

"Alright, good. You'll say the lines, and they'll do the ADR in post production. You're just a stand-in. That's it. Don't expect overnight fame, yeah?"

Mikasa nods fervently, still so confused. "No fame. That's— I'm no— Why am I here?"

The question comes out without thinking, but that thought hasn't left her mind since the coffee shop, never able to ask in the swirl of chaos.

"You look like her from the back. Same height, same build. The editors can work their magic."

She'll be little more than a green screen, but the thrill of being on a big movie set, stepping in for an actress she's long admired, is worth it.

"Where do I go? Do I— How much time?"

"Three minutes. Get studying."

Mikasa sends herself into a corner to study, scanning the swoonworthy dialogue for the upcoming scene. A big scene. Important, crucial as the romantic climax for a major Hollywood production, and it depends on her.

The words sink in slowly, as best as they can. The last thing Mikasa wants is to earn a director's ire by flubbing the script to a laughable degree. She prepares herself to be flirty, desirable.

"You! Get ready to shoot."

Mikasa scoots into the filming area, finding the mark on the grass guiding her position. As she assumes the position provided by the script, glancing absentmindedly toward the side, she catches glimpses of camera operators approaching, microphones getting closer.

"Action!"

As directed, Mikasa tilts her eyes upward — finally catching a view at her co-star. Damn near jeopardizing the sanctity of the shoot, she struggles hard to keep her jaw from dropping.

Eren Jaeger. A total heartthrob. Mikasa's harbored a subtle (not really) crush on him for the last few years, just when he began his ascent into Hollywood relevancy. She's seen most of his movies, praising multiple as her favorites. God, Mikasa knows she'll even watch the less-than-savory options, the ones without glowing reviews — independent films with tiny budgets and screenwriters that need fine tuning. She has his films ranked by her favorites, but even that is a difficult list to maintain. Though his social media presence isn't huge, Mikasa keeps up with him.

And now she gets to kiss him.

He wears an outfit so casually suave, a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, the first couple buttons undone for an alluring effect. His shoulder-length hair is something you'd seen on a 1990s teen pop culture magazine, harkening to the age of 'effortless' hairstyles, so swooshy. Mikasa chooses Eren over a young Leonardo DiCaprio any day of the week without hesitation.

The lines nearly slip from Mikasa's memory. She's supposed to be flirty with Eren Jaeger; now, her tasks feels all the more insurmountable to live up to, the standards raised to their highest level.

As Eren approaches, he grins. Mikasa has to remind herself that it's the character he's smiling so pretty at, not her. Some fake girl. Not her.

The tragedy of that causes her to almost miss her first line, but she pulls it together. "You came?"

"Obviously," he replies, laughing, his palms immediately cupping her cheeks. Mikasa's glad the camera isn't focused on her face — which has turned a humiliating shade of red. "You didn't think I'd really leave you behind, did you?"

Mikasa swallows. What was the line? She exhales, as propositioned, smiling, mustering up as much desperation in her tone as she can. "I don't know." This young actress has never been this nervous. "You seemed like you were in a pretty big hurry."

Here comes the most swoonworthy dialogue, the part that'll send Mikasa into cardiac arrest. Eren, or whatever his character's name is, draws her closer, their noses rubbing together. The cameras are almost intrusive now — just like they've always been in her screen tests, her daunting auditions, the technology recording her failure.

At Eren's advancing touches, Mikasa recalls another direction from the script — touch him. She nervously rests her shaky fingers on his waist, clutching his shirt. Eren Jaeger's shirt. His smell is intoxicating this close, subtle but unbelievably attractive. Potent. He continues.

"No. Never. C'mon, El. Can't leave you. You know I can't leave you. Don't give a damn about all that."

Without context, Mikasa has no idea what all that even means, but it's irrelevant. Eren has his hands grasping her face, ready to confess his deepest feelings. She swallows hard, clearing her throat.

"Don't make promises you can't keep. You'll wanna leave again. I can't keep you here."

Her delivery has a shakier quality to it than a professional actress might have, but Mikasa's just proud of herself for not melting to a puddle.

Eren, formidable in his role, just as strong as he looks on the silver screen, pushes her back until they've stumbled into the stone railing behind them — a totally improved move that catches Mikasa off guard, her breath hitching.

Before she can process anything, his lips are latched onto hers, hungrily, his character so desperate to prove his affections to this El girl. He tastes just as good as he has in Mikasa's most shameful dreams, the ones where she gets to do exactly what she's doing now, standing tall as Eren's co-star, the recipient of all his perfectly-acted kisses across an excessive number of takes.

Happy to indulge in this fantasy, Mikasa loses herself in the scene, determined to live up to the expectations placed onto her. She clutches onto Eren, brave enough to engage her mouth, providing her own energy to the kiss. Good God. I'm kissing Eren Jaeger. This is all real.

"Not going anywhere," Eren mewls, too convincing in his 'acting', slipping into this character with so little effort. His hands find Mikasa's thighs, squeezing as she's hoisted into his strong arms, legs with no destination but to wrap around his waist. "I need you. I need you."

Mikasa can't contain herself. Her poor heart is close to giving out, and her stomach flips and clenches and every tumultuous sensation between. She forgets this is a movie, on a set, surrounded by strangers watching them kiss.

One more line. "Stay here. Stay with me, please."

"I will, you goddamn, gorgeous idiot. I'm here."

They kiss longer — so much longer — until the immersion is decimated by the director calling cut, leaving Mikasa in the unfortunate reality where Eren swiftly drops her down to her feet. Through the megaphone, the director praises them — before asserting that they would return for a second, precautionary take.

"Hey," Eren starts, his regular, out-of-character tone somehow so different from his voice during shooting. He's more relaxed. Mikasa's used to this voice from all the interviews she's seen.

"Hi." She keeps her eyes averted, too flustered to even dare looking at him after that. He's famous. She's a nobody, wannabe actress that's stuck working a part-time throwaway job. Still, her awkward smile seems to endear her to him.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry for surprising you like that. Felt like it might help the scene." He sounds pleased with himself for concocting the idea. "I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?"

As if he couldn't get anymore perfect. He's a massive sweetheart, too, not some prima donna.

"No— not at all. It was— it was clever."

"You think so? I worried it might be too much."

She's unsure how to reassure him of the move's success without exposing her gigantic crush.

"I think the women watching will be happy."

Eren laughs and it's sublimely charming. "Well, then I'm happy with it. You're all hard to please."

Behind her back, Mikasa fidgets with her fingers, cracking her knuckles like crazy — anything to relieve the what-is-happening-right-now energy coursing through her bloodstream and incapable of exiting any of her brain's fixated thinking.

"Ah, well— I doubt you could disappoint them."

Instantly, she wants to slam her palm so hard into her forehead that it sends her flying. He doesn't need another weirdo fangirl. I've seen the comments on his Instagram. There's enough of those already. If he's annoyed, Eren conceals that frustration with ease, accepting the vote of confidence with a gracious simper.

"Thanks." He exhales deeply, finding his place beside her against the railing. "Are you an actress? How'd you get wrapped up in all this?"

Calling herself an actress in Eren's presence seems rather reductive of his talent. Mikasa shrugs, biting the inside of her cheeks. "Sorta? Not really. I'm— I'm trying to be, at least."

Eren smiles. "Have I seen anything you've done?"

He's much easier to talk to than someone like Marilyn Lawrence. He's more— more human.

"If you watched Avalon Harbor, you might've caught me in the background for a second. I think it was at 36:20, if you feel like double checking."

Pathetic as it sounds, her jokes makes Eren snort, and Mikasa considers that a win. "You know what, I'll have to give it a rewatch sometime."

A different production assistant brings them bottles of water while they wait to reconvene. There's a painful silence between them — a silence that Mikasa wishes to fill with a million questions about his acting, his roles, his journey from child clothes model to big screen cash cow.

Somehow, though, he's equally interested in her.

"So, Ms. Avalon Harbor, you didn't really answer my question. Where'd they find you?"

Mikasa sighs. Now he'll really know I'm a loser.

"The coffee shop down the street. I work there."

He laughs again. "I— I didn't expect that one."

Just as she's about to attempt another joke, anything to hear his pretty laugh again, the director cuts their conversation short, summoning the cast and crew back into position.

"It was nice to chat with you— Wait, what's your name? Just realized I have no idea."

She swallows, lump building in her throat. You're about to be on a first name basis. "Mikasa."

"Eren," he replies, a formality more than anything. "Maybe we'll get to work together again one day."

Don't get your hopes up, she tells herself. "I'm happy to just be in the audience, really."

He smiles as he backpedals back to his starting position, and that smile lingers on Mikasa's brain all the way until the director calls action.

Returning to her barista job after the previous day's events is harder than she anticipates. Getting a taste of a real actresses' life didn't quench that dream — it only thickened her thirst to be on more movie sets, to experience the thrill of producing something from nothing, to turn a script into a visual manifestation for audiences.

Kissing Eren Jaeger played a big part, obviously.

It's hard to keep her mind off their scenes while cleaning the counter during a lull in customers. Her eyes fixate onto the speckles hidden into the quartz countertop, utterly lost in a daydream, replaying the kiss in her head just like she's rewatched some of Eren's movies on repeat.

A gentle voice cuts through her folly.

"What do you recommend? I can't decide."

Startled, Mikasa gets ready to issue so many apologies for being so ditzy, so inattentive. The last thing she needs is a customer complaint.

When she catches the man's eyes, she's even more startled to see Eren standing there.

"Oh! It's you, I— I'm so sorry, I didn't—"

"No need to apologize. Did I scare you?"

Behind Eren, some customers look up from their coffees to gawk at him — the penalty that comes with achieving some stardom (and the unfortunate consequences of being blessed with unnaturally beautiful cheekbones).

Mikasa laughs, flustered. Her cheeks give away just how unprepared she is for this encounter.

"A little, yeah. Thought I was gonna get an earful."

"Nope. Just wanted to stop by and see you."

See me? It's too good to be true.

"Uh, you did?" Mikasa chides herself. This flirting isn't very good, considering that their tongues were practically wrapped together just yesterday.

Eren leans across the counter, gushing his voice to avoid any pesky eavesdropping.

"Sure did. You're a fun co-star. That's rare these days. Plus, you're a pretty good kisser, too."

Instantly, Mikasa's hand covers her face, the redness flushed across her features too much to bear — Eren Jaeger likes my kissing. Me.

Undisturbed by her inability to accept his compliments with any decorum, Eren continues, glancing quickly at the clock on the wall.

"Do you have a break coming up? I'm done for the day. Thought we could go for a walk. If you want."

It's starting to dawn on her how quickly her life has been rocketed off its predicted trajectory because of a resemblance to another actress.

Is he actually asking me out? She hasn't felt this giddy in— well, since his last movie came out.

"I'm off in ten minutes, actually. I'd— I'd love to."

"Great. Then it's settled. I'll take you on a tour."

A lackluster shift becomes the second-best she's ever worked, just trailing behind yesterday's. She smiles so brightly, hard enough to hurt her cheeks, straining the muscles that she usually saves for pretending to tolerate customers.

"Do you still want that recommendation? I can make something for you while you wait."

He grins, amused. "Oh no, I don't like coffee. Just needed something cute to get your attention."

Unwilling to let her get the last laugh, Eren sticks a bill into the tip jar and slinks off to one of the tables, smiling at her from hidden his hand.

Mikasa blushes.

He might be a good actor, but he's just as terrible at hiding a crush as I am.

— (Hope you enjoyed reading! It would be so fun to imagine how they'll spend their walk and how their little courtship would develop into a relationship 🩷 eremika wholesome moment was very fun to write after so much angst!)

#darlingkirstein asks #eremika #my writing #actor au

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starrymoonsoup · 1 year ago

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Amphibia Spiderverse AU?!?!

hey guys sorry I died (I was finishing college apps and couldn't do anything but that for a while) but I wanted to share my amphibia spiderverse/marvel au with y'all!

a lot of the art for it is very old and not the best </3 but its all I have for now teehee. j know that this alternate universe has a lot of alternate universes within them, its a lil complicated, but the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma :)

I might make some edits to the designs, but here's the general list of it teehee. feel free to ask me any questions abt this au, I'll be happy to answer them!

also tysm for all the love I've gotten recently! y'all are so sweet :)

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nebulacollege · 4 months ago

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Replies

About dealbreakers and alignments!

Anonymous asked:

If this goes too much into spoilers feel free to skip but what are the Nebula boys’ dealbreakers in relationships??

Hmm, that’s a good question. I kept thinking about it, and basically – anything that’s not mentioned in this reply is probably a dealbreaker for them!

But to end it here would be so boring. Another thing that is a huge dealbreaker is a top/top or bottom/bottom thing. If Niall, for example, feels he’s talking to a top, he’d never get in a relationship with them in the first place. Same goes for Edmund with his prefect, at least. It’s a subtle idea of “not interested” that immediately pops up in their heads if they think in this direction.

But! It’s still not enough of a fun reply, so I tried to come up with at least one quality that’ll make them ditch their partner immediately.

Niall – he doesn’t like it when the person in question commands him and not give advice, as in “you should do this”. He can handle a certain amount of rudeness or a person being direct with him, but as soon as he feels they’re too independent or insist on it, he’d instantly burn out in terms of passion.

Ned doesn’t like infantile people (for the lack of a better word) and those who do not respect him and his words and don’t listen to him. If someone complains to him all the time, doesn’t fix their problems or even listens to what he has to say, or Ned feels like everything he says or does goes into the void without any response. He would genuinely want to be helpful, but he can handle just so much.

Edmund doesn’t like caring and careful people lol If someone would try to be gentle with him or baby him, he’d be out of them instantly. He needs some edge, and that person must have it naturally, even if they don’t show it all the time. He also doesn’t like people who pretend in the relationships and force themselves to do or say something they don’t feel like.

Liam... every person is a dealbreaker lol Boring people are! But it’s his default. He thinks everyone’s boring until he sees someone who isn’t. If they after some time do become boring, he’ll ditch them.

Anonymous asked:

What are their alignments?

Anonymous asked:

Sorry! I meant dnd alignment! Like chaotic neutral etc

Thank you for specifying! I was worried I got that wrong in some way, what if there’re some other alignments... I also didn’t know they were from dnd, huh.

It’s a bit hard, but I re-read their descriptions, and I think I’m confident for the most part about my choice? But if something ends up not matching, sorry!

Niall starts off as a Chaotic Neutral, I think?.. I don’t think anything else matches him that much, and he ends up somewhere between Neutral Evil and Chaotic Evil. I refuse to elaborate, teehee!

Ned is someone I’m confident about. He starts off as Lawful Neutral and ends up as Lawful Evil.

Edmund starts as True Neutral and ends up being Chaotic Neutral.

Liam... ehhh... from True Neutral to Chaotic Evil?..

#nc replies

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spoookyb0t · 3 months ago

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Can you rank every carry on + character ever mentioned

OKAY ive been thinking about this for too long and i give up ouhh my ranking is under the cut but FIRST i have two things to say ...

numba one i made the list from memory but i Also intentionally left out people like swithin or baz' maid or whatever because ranking everyone irrelevent was driving me crazy bananas.. if i missed someone really important to You or anyone let me know and i'll add them ♥️ kiss

number 2 !! chaosites theres gonna be little spoilers here so if you Really care then get lost 💥💥💥 come back after my live blogs ... which will happen uhhhhhh Soon i promise..

and also others !! if you're worried about spoilers for the simon snow trilogy then get outta here !!

S TIER

Baz

Obviously.. he's kind of the most perfect character to me ever of all time i love him more than rainbow herself. I try to think of Good justification for putting him here like " ohhh he's so well written " and "i think it was really interesting how they made the vampire [ a common object of obsession/affection ] the one who's head over heels " or whatever and although thats all True i'm also just down horrendously bad he's kind of the love of my life

Simon

Obviously he's S tier he's The Main Guy. I don't really have any notes on him either Uhm read baz post again it kind of sums my feelings up also... [ feel free to ask specific questions about these two guys & i'll be able to talk about them better maybe.. ]

Penny

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY I LOVE PENNY !! I'm so glad her and baz are friends that was so lovely to me reading for the first time.. She spends like. most of her school life hearing about how terrible and awful and evil this guy is and then when she actually Meets him she's right about simon being dramatic I like to think that post-carry on she makes fun of simon all tha time for being a big baby about him... she's so smart and i'm glad that although Yes she is the smart one she's also so multi dimensional !! i like when she goes out of her way to be friends with agatha at christmas !! and i like how strong she is in her own opinions !! she's so cool i wish i was more like her it's really obvious rainbow cares about all of them and i really love it

Lamb

Hhhhhhhh i Love lamb he's the best like.. antagonist* of the series to me.... I really really wish wayward son was longer if for no other reason then baz got to hang out with him more. i KNOW people Won't agree with me on this But i really wish they spent more time together !! Baz has gone his WHOLE life with No other vampire " role model " or whatever [ not to mention no other queer people !! [ Well like simon but.. :sifUm: ] ] and i think it would have been really nice for him to make connections Outside of the watford group.. even though Yes he was kind of evil and likely predatory had baz chosen to hang out with him i think it would have been interesting to see baz talk to vampires more... especially ones who knew what they were doing... *unsure if he counts as one because he wasn't the Main one at least.. there's like a big bad and then a second guy I call the villain of all tha books and he was the second guy in wayward son

Shepard

TEEHEE i used to hate this guy i found him sooo irritating but he's kind of lovely im so sorry shepard. I like how baz and penny being big geniuses wasn't enough so they just got. a third guy. who knows more but also can't really Do anything about it on account of the no magic at all.. In awtwb when they revealed he was cursed too i laughed liek Yea Of course you are you can't go messing around with big magic guys and not get cursed this is general fantasy knowledge... silly..

A TIER

Agatha

She's in A tier and i DO feel bad doing this but i Really hate her in awtwb.. I'm so over my agatha hating arc but i think she deserved better. I'm not upset she's a lesbian !! I'm upset at how. Rushed it was.. if that makes sense .. it very much feels like when writing sequels rainbow Didn't know what to do about her character arc but didn't want to leave her alone [ she IS a romance author ] so she just kind of gave her a girlfriend out of nowhere.. i wish she got to run away from magick also !! i feel like carry on agatha would Hate being watford's goatherd and being constantly surrounded by it all. I understand people change but I feel like this would still go against her personal beliefs.. ESPECIALLY after all the shit she went through in wayward son I feel like she'd want a break now more then ever bleghhhhh

Ebb

BOOHOOHOO she's simons mom to me... Lucy would have been lovely but ebb was There for him and I think she deserves everything good in the world..

Natasha

no Big justification here except I think she is lovely but Also she hurts my heart to think about because baz is convinced she'd hate him and i Don't believe that to be true.. it really really sucks that he will never know though I think he deserves the closure and I hope he gets visited sometime down the line and she tells him otherwise..

Davy

AUGH my favorite part about him is how his story is told backwards.. like at first he just seems like a neglectful paternal figure to simon and then you realize his personal ambitions/motives for everything he does and you go crazy and then HE goes crazy and oughhhh ... davy is so cool.. he does Suck though a little bit but i think he was the best twist villain* there Could have been.. A tier though because I'm still not over ebb

Lucy

She's lovely.. it always breaks my heart that simon didn't realize he was getting his own visiting in carry on boo hoo hoo .. I also like how agatha saw her as a sort of inspiration, it's neat that her whole story is " oh !!! i want to be my own person out side of simon !!! " but one of her biggest inspirations is his mom and she doesn't know , theyre all connected...

Lady Ruth

AUH she's Lovely .. I really love any type of family magic / blood magic / whatever so I found her quite delightful.. Even though opening up awtwb for the first time and seeing her chapters i went !! who is this !! i Do wish everyday that Simon figuring out his family was handled differently, I feel like it would have taken more time than it did BUT I understand awtwb was quite long anyways..

Mordelia

putting her here is Very self indulgent i will admit, BUT i think about her and baz together a lot I think he would be such a good older brother..

B TIER

Nicodemus

the reveal him and ebb were twins was CRAZY but ultimately he was quite useless and I feel like he could have been more interesting !! I want to know what drove him to become a vampire who told him that was like . an option !! did he come up with it !! what happened....

Dev & Niall

I wish more was done with them.. I feel awkward putting them anywhere higher because theyre so Nothing but i like to think baz eventually invites them to start hanging out with the rest of the group and they become close with everyone, shepard Especially [ they find him fascinating.. spending so much time when they were young spent dealing with magickal politics that it's nice to talk to someone that. Wasn't around that ] but idk in canon they aren't really anything at all.. i do Not ship them though.. i know a lot of people do but i dont really care about them together..

Daphnee

She's a good step mom ! Just ignore the bit where she abandons her kids because she's convinced she can get better at magic !

Fiona

She used to be higher in my books and I wish i liked her more but she's less important to me now... I think it's ok it worked out this way though because she's shown early on as kind of a Cool role model for baz, and it is evident she cares about him a Lot.. BUT when it comes out in wayward son that she Knew what the tape recorder would do .. and even in carry on when she encourages him to take stuff for the sake of it.. its very obvious she's manipulating him because he's a child and looks up to her and idk.. I dont really care for her

Margaret

I think its funny how she assumed simon was more dragon then person.. I also think its funny that they all got kidnapped like theyre kind of having the worst road trip ever of all time .. I don't really think this was necessary BUT Simon is kind of a pathetic loser here and I get a little dizzy if im being honest so its worth it

Mitali

I'm glad she became headmistress after the mage I think she's so smart and I'm happy for her YAYYYAYAYAY But also she's really strict I think I'd be scared of her eek !! not much going on with her outside of this..

Smith Smith-Richards

Uhm to be honest writing this he's just . unmemorable. I will admit awtwb is my Least favorite of the books but smith is just so nothing to me... I think the idea of a " new chosen one " COULD have been really cool and I remember the First time I read it I thought he was neat but my hang up with awtwb is it seemed like the mage plots were second to making sure the couples had happy endings and I simply don't remember him being super cool or interesting.. i DO remember that he promised to Share his magic with people which i thought was really interesting i looved every approach to this.. treating magic like a fluid or whatever OUGH i really love the carry on magic system i get dizzy thinkign about it

Pippa

I'M FOREVER GREATFUL THAT BAZ GOT TO APOLOGIZE IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME ............ I was fairly confident she was just going to be a plot device in book one and just run away from magic bc of the whole no voice thing but when baz got to Talk to her in awtwb I was so happy ouhh...

Professor Minos

minotaur <3

Minty & Ginger

I'm glad Agatha has normal friends she tried so hard to separate herself from everything and I wish it worked out for her. I know they were at two separate points but WHATEVER grouping them together

Malcom

homophobe 🙄 jk uhmm hes whatever.. single dad for a while and he did a pretty good job so i think B is fair …

C TIER

Niamh

she is So nothing and i find her so irritating and i just dont like her i dont want to talk about her :thumbs down: C is probably a bit harsh I'm sorry I haven't read book three in a while

Braden

He's the worst of all the antagonists like agatha was just going on vacation why was she kidnapped by trust fund guys shut up. He's so annoying the now next is so stupid I hate him I see why people hate wayward son when this whole plotline exists Besides does it ever even get RESOLVED ??? It does but stupidly Ugh he's so irritating

Gareth

rolling my eyes

Micah

Broke Penny's heart BOO HOO HOO

#Okay i give up why did this take so long uhjmmnm I'm so worried of being like. misinterpreted #no proof reading this if theres mistakes just pretend you dont see them #hope i answered your question also.. Mwa #askbox #yap yap yap #<- talked long enough i think it gets this one as well #carry on posting #Ok gogn to go to lay down i think i f i type one more word i blow up the computer

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buzzybea-23-hf · 9 months ago

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is this how you do intro posts? 🐝

Hi Hatchetfield! Uh I saw some people were joining this website (and my mum told me I have to speak to people..) and decided to try it out! it seems nice so far!

I'm Beatrice Lavender! I'm 15 and I like bugs and the woods! I don't normally do this kind of technology stuff so sorry if I come off as a bit strange..

She/They 🐝 Demigirl 🐝 Straight (?) (ooc: she's a clueless demiromantic lesbian <3)

You might see me around Hatchetfield High or town or wherever.. (if you see me around the rollerama uh it's not me...)

Uh hope to speak to you soon? Is that what you do here? I still don't get it...

ooc from here on out 🐝

Currently: At home

Just Been: N/A

Interactions are open unless I say they're not! This goes for asks, rbs and anything else really! typically asleep around 12pm-10am gmt (shh I don't have a sleep schedule)

more ooc + info under cut :3

Hiii this is the admin @frongle444 (they/she prns please!) teehee :3 Bea is not associated with the briefly alive other oc I had also named Beatrice lmao uh and she may seem familiar to those I discord rpd with!

She's a bit of a nervous wreck but I love her <33

Things I will and won't rp + content warnings:

no romantic shipping uh bc I don't want to lol

no nsfw as both she and i (admin) are minors

physical harm/fighting/etc in rp is fine (this is hatchetfield babey and the death count is there for a reason)

hatchetfield-esque jokes/humor/happenings are to be expected (+ lots of rollerama stuff)

Bea's mum is in the hospital and has been for a while so also expect that to pop up from time to time

a little more about bea

generally shy, anxious and sweet

chronically offline

Has a touch of ✨ the gift ✨ can grow/manipulate plants and hover like a bee hehe (yes it changed from the original shhh)

Sexuality questioning

rollerama fighter under the name 'Briarbee'

doesn't like hurting people

webby aligned if anything but associated lib is blinky

formatting!!

description - [square brackets]

thoughts - {curly brackets and italics}

speech - plain text

tags

#🐝buzzes - in character tumblr posts

#🐝answers - in character ask replies

#🐝rps - rps

#🐝rbs - in character reblogs

#not🐝 - ooc

other

feel free to ask/dm about any other character info!

#🐝rps #not🐝#hatchetfield #starkid hatchetfield #hatchetfield rp #hatchetblr #hatchetfield rp blog #hatchetfield oc #hatchetfield roleplay #oc rp #probably gonna get tweaked tbh #🐝buzzes

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weed666 · 1 year ago

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hi welcome 2 my gay sex & weed blog. my main is @fefairys my nsfw art blog is @feferriswheel

23 years old ♠ he/him ♠ polyam verse + switch

minors dni obviously. if ur age isnt listed clearly on ur blog i'll block u.

this is the blog where i talk about sex and weed and alcohol and stuff. more about me below the cut ^_^ pls read before sending asks! last updated: 01/03/2025

feel free to send asks of any kind :3 i love intrusive sexual questions >:) if u ask/say horny stuff abt my ocs i'll love u forever

fav kinks you can expect to see here: -robophilia and general objectophilia for electronics -blood!!!/knifeplay/cannibalism/gore sometimes -monsterfuckery and furry stuff :3 -petplay -bondage -EDGING/orgasm denial -cnc -somnophilia -intoxication -praise and degradation (mixing them together is top tier) -voyeurism & exhibitionism (im more of a voyeur myself teehee) -breeding (no preg) -vore sometimes maybe :3c -micro/macro -sadism/masochism -piss

here's my irl pics tag here's my art tag (see more on my nsfw art blog i mentioned above) 🧃 is the tag i use when i talk about my fiance, sebastian :3 (/posts that make me think of it) 🧃pic is where i show it off <3

also, we're a plural system! there are actually 3 (maybe 4? or 5??) of us who use this blog. dante/ruby (he/she) tags posts with #🃏 sam (he/xe) tags posts with #🛹 scythe (he/xe/ze) tags posts with #🩸 (ze also has xer own blog now! @kismoirailsis but still posts here occasionally as well)

things we like being called: -good/bad boy (ruby likes good girl as well as boy) -slut, whore, toy -pet, dog, puppy/pup -fag/faggot!!!!!!!! -freak, pervert (<- ruby esp likes 'pervert')

hard limits (no judgement if u like this stuff. just dont bring it up to me): -pregnancy -incest or anything that reminds me of family dynamics, including "mommy/daddy" stuff -misgendering -weight gain -degrading my body. u can degrade me as a person but not my body <3 -dont ask for nudes if we're not friends. i post what i want on my own volition, not by request.

will add more if we think of anything.

#pinned

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itsmarsss · 10 months ago

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long-ass big-ass self-ship ramble ahead this is your warning i am so sorry LMAO so i may or may not be planning to write somewhat of a series (smut included) at some point for blitz x my hellhound sinner oc who's like hella sensitive n shy n like- overthinks n all that but she's very sweet sound like any ask requests you've gotten recently? and SUUUUUUCH a people-pleaser it's insane she ends up working as his assistant at one point but it's mostly doing the paperwork no one else bothers to do and figures out that she has literally never been more attracted to anybody than she has him and they're good friends n shit n work well together otherwise BUT THE THING IS!!! back on earth before she died, she only ever really had one irl relationship and then the rest were online/long-distance, none of them ended well and it kinda gave her a fear of loneliness/being alone and also a MASSIVE need to please people so they'll stay n all this shit and also this whole like- idk she grew up watching disney movies and believing in magic n true love n now it's like she can't stop thinking about it and being in love and,,, idk it's kinda like true love is her endgame to the point she gets a little self-destructive about it ANYWAY but her love languages are physical affection and gifts so having a crush irl. something like this, in real life- she's fucking beside herself like even a mere pat on the head brings tears to her eyes but he wouldn't know that unless he looked close enough she's really bad at hiding it but every little thing he does makes her blush and it's insane at some point as they get closer, he kinda opens up ab his relationship shit (briefly- well, as much as he feels comfortable) immediately she's doing her damnedest to keep herself in check cuz she doesn't wanna freak him out or make him leave and she's like- working extra hours n all this stuff to help him out because she cares about him a lot and wants to show that and help out without it being some crazy big thing they hook-up at some point..... teehee who knows anyway it's gonna be so tragic and sexual and beautiful and AUGH i might be coming back with more as i write,,,, maybe,,,, sorry i didn't ask first but feel free to ignore LMAO anyway take a quote i made (to my knowledge) and a quote i found off twitter (in order): "And the sad thing is- I don't know whether I love you, or whether you're the one I want to finally find love in." "you don’t think i’m a bad person? / all i think is that i love you." (i then saw this quote retweeted with stolitz..... which..... also fuck yeah augh sorry if there're any typos or shit you don't understand but i'm thrilled to answer questions/clarify shit if you or anyone have anything OKAY COOL SORRY ABOUT THIS BYEEE -🍯⭐🪷

omg that one was yours!!!! I’m writing for it right now!!! I’m merging so many concepts into it simultaneously lol I hope you like it when it’s done!!

ohhh I love me some lore 😭 gimme the reason why that persons fucked up!!!! I eat it right up

do come back with more whenever you want!!!! and I wanna read it when it’s done babes pleaaaaseee?? 🥺🥺

#making someone who dreams abt a perfect love story fall in love with BLITZØ of all people #chefs kiss you’ve got the key for chaos there i love it #mars talks #🍯⭐️🪷#omg also know that I does laughing when I read that you said thank you for your service #ajjdjdmdkd I loved it sm

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s1xseasonsandamov1e · 1 year ago

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Your Annoying Tumblr Mutual strikes yet again !!

I'm gonna ask you a few questions :> (these are all so random lmao) (as always, feel free to ignore ^^^)

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✰ how long have you been on tumblr?

✰ how did you come up with your url/username?

✰ what’s your phone’s lock screen?

✰ do you have any piercings//tattoos? (any you’d like to get?)

✰ do you wear glasses//contacts?

✰ has anyone ever told you you have a "celebrity look-alike"? if yes, who?

✰ best compliment you’ve ever gotten?

✰ are you a collector of anything in particular? If yes, what?

✰ I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD REST OF YOUR DAY AND TREAT YOURSELF AND I APPRECIATE YOU AND YES OKAY BYE FOR NOW <3

i love these asks so much!!

1. since september i think

2. it was the same as the one i used to have on twitter

3. seagulls (teehee)

4. i only have my ears pierced but i’d love to get a septum, and maybe a mirrorball tattoo or the post code to my town

5. no but i did from ages 5-10

6. i’ve been told i look like kendall jenner when i straighten my hair but i don’t really see it

7. that i look like kendall jenner lol

8. i don’t know if you can really call it a collection but for the last two years i’ve collected rocks from all the countries i’ve been to

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red-carter · 19 days ago

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Hehehhehehe Grian getting summoned has me CACKLING every time. The reason it took me so long to respond is because I was talking with my bestie more about thems!

Got weapons and what effects they have! I'll explain two of them, but the others will remain a secret for now. So, generically, Cupids usually use bows yeah? That's the norm here, but not unless they think it's necessary. Like if they can tell there's something there but they're struggling a bit, or something along those lines... Bow. However if it's something like a hook up, that's what the crossbows are for! :D

As for the other weapons, we got scythes, swords, and axes. Love all of them so very much, feel free to guess what the other weapons do. (No guarantees I'll answer though, not until it's written in story).

Now, there were a few characters that got discussed as well. So, Martyn is also a Cupid, and Cherrifire is his mentee, at least while learning what each of the weapons do. Hehehe I love how that turns out and I can't wait to write it!! (Yes Treebark will be a thing 🤭)

Now! For the other question(s) you asked. Grian and Timmy... Hehehe... Really quick though, there is a way to summon Cupids, but they can also just show up when there's a bunch of stuff that needs taken care of around love. Timmy, summons a Cupid who ends up being Grian, to help him get with his crush, Scott. However things don't "work out", take that as you will. Either way, in situations like this, it's mostly just advice given rather than bows and such.

None of the weapons would hurt btw, except the emotions probably. Since they only affect the emotions rather than the physical body. :)

Grian, for sure, teases Timmy. There's just something about him that's just so mess-with-able, y'know? ;D

The second time Jimmy someone's Grian, it's glorious, he dreads it. Grian takes this chance to mess with Jimmy even more and gets Scott to get together with Tango. The one Jimmy summoned him for this time. Things turn out in a way with Flower Ranchers because like... I love them so much. That is all you're getting about those for now, since that's planned for the first bit of the story (though I've yet to write anything other than notes).

Okay!! Tangled by Scarian time! I just have a bunch of notes since I've been focusing on my MCAU and such. But I do have a lot of notes!! (Also talked about with my bestie!)

So Gem and False. False is a falcon who is smart, however mostly kinda a background character, for now. Gem mostly takes on who Max was, and thus is a horse a majority of the time. However she is smarter than Max, and a pretty decent hunter. As I said, she's a shapeshifter so she can change forms, anything that she's seen before (usually just animals). Pretty petty, sort of, in a mostly silly way, and will tease the shit out of Grian and Scar. Oh!!! And she's actually working undercover, trying to outrank the head guard, Pearl! (Not shipping them in this)

Atm, I don't have any specific characterisations for the Secret Keeper (SK). HOWEVER!! 🤭 The SK is into one of the Watchers, and reads a bit of romance books. Teehee.... :3 (I don't remember much atm tbf).

I don't have any specific bits actually written out like fully, but I do have a few silly quotes to happen!!

keep forgetting to send this ask smh but for the wip thing i would love to know about your Cupid AU or the Tangled scarian one

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I don't have too much about the Cupid AU but it's one of my faves that I've thought about on and off. (Honestly I love all of my WIPs but that's not the point /silly)

Cupids - shorter than human average. Height range: 2’0-5’0

Cupids:

Grian

Bdubs

Tiny

Lain

Pearl

Scott

Skizz

Arc/Lennon

Joel

Quill -> The abnormality of all cupids (Tall and most just ignore her)

Some of these are friends of mine, while others are people who give Cupid vibes! I was going to have maybe two different AUs, but I thought it'd be fun living in the same world and everything as the faves!

Also just some of the sillies that I've thought out with one of my besties, the thoughts man!! Especially with Jimmy summoning a Cupid multiple times and it being Grian both times 🤭

God, I could go on more about this, however, I'll leave it at that! Lots of fun so feel free to ask more about it!

As for my Tangled Scarian AU!!!! This is the line up that me and one of my besties helped me come up with!

Rapunzel - Scar

Eugene/Flynn - Grian/CuteGuy

Mother Gothel - Secret Keeper

Brother thugs - Watchers (unfortunately having to team up)

King - OC to be named later

Queen - OC to be named later

Maximus - Gem (only part in story, and a shapeshifter)

Head Guard - Pearl

Duck Tavern People - Hermits (Xisuma, Hypno, Impulse, Skizz, Bdubs, xB, Joel(?), Mumbo, etc.)

Cupid old guy - Keralis

Pascal - Cub (shapeshifter)

Mime (from Tavern) - Joseph H. Hills

Hook guy - Xisuma

Love guy - xB

Accordian guy (no lines) - Oli

Big guy (with Unicorns) - Etho

Florist guy - Impulse

Interior Design guy - Beef

Cupcake/baker guy - Ren

Knits guy - Bdubs

Sew guys - Cleo

Rats guy - Skizz

The rats - Kevin Bubbles Malone Refrigerator Jimmy Madeye Dugan

False is a falcon or an eagle (can't remember atm), but she goes around with Gem, looking for Cuteguy, and chasing them. Though she's not as after them as Gem is.

There's more to this as well, however this post is already so long. Feel free to ask more about it if you're curious! I couldn't just talk about one or the other, I love them too much. So many thoughts!

#carter/carpet speaks #my writing #scarian #my cupid au #carter/carpet writes

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blackradandmad · 4 years ago

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why blippi is rotting yr children's brains

preface: i literally expect no one to read this. it is an essay length, strong opinion piece critiquing a niche youtube-based children's show that i don't expect most of y'all to even have knowledge of lol. but like, i promise that even if you know nothing about what i'm talking about, in my incredibly, super humble opinion, it's a good piece of writing and interesting nonetheless. anyway if you read this whole thing for some reason yr really hot and we should kiss.

i thoroughly vet everything my child watches before he watches it, episode by episode. and we rarely watch youtube for entertainment; we usually just look up educational videos when he has a question about something and wants more detail than i can provide him. and that's mainly because children's content on youtube is so fucking troubling and distressing. i don't judge parents who give their children a tablet at a restaurant at all bc i've been there and sometimes it's easier on everyone to just put on a video and avoid a giant scene, but i do judge parents who just leave their children alone with youtube kids on autoplay.

take stevin john, a literal millionaire who got famous from dressing up as a silly character called blippi and going on tours of places like aquariums, zoos, construction sites, etc and posting it on youtube. this has branched into a whole empire of blippi videos, hulu shows and specials, live shows and tours (that he outsources to another character actor), merchandise and so on. this 30-something year old man cites his main influence as being mr. rogers, but i question if he's ever even seen an episode of that program.

mr. rogers had no background in early childhood development or media production, but he revolutionized the world of children's media, because he respected his audience and didn't shy away from real world situations, all while creating a show with an enormous heart. mr. rogers begins his episodes by inviting the viewer in, literally changing his attire to be more comfortable, and talking about/doing things he genuinely cares about. whereas mr. rogers calmly and maturely addresses the viewer, blippi puts on a high pitched, contrived voice, interjecting every other sentence with a forced exclamation such as, "teehee! we're having so much fun!"

i don't find it a coincidence that john (blippi) is a veteran, either. his videos are completely devoid of the absurd, abstract, childlike thinking that makes children's media fun, creative, and entertaining. his thinking and process is methodical, devoid of emotion, and very superficial. this line of thinking clearly shows the kind of creative sterilization and emphasis on sameness and conformity instilled in the military. blippi simply observes things and interacts with them in a stale, matter-of-fact way. "this ball is purple! this ball is pink! anyway... what's over there? teehee! a car! vroom, vroom!" objects are colors, toy cars don't do anything but drive, curiosity is simply not encouraged.

he uses the "it's educational!" excuse to hide the fact that his show lacks everything that makes media a valuable resource for children to consume in the first place. further than identifying colors, numbers, and the occasional letter or shape, there is just this total lack of children's need for social and emotional development. when mr. rogers breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and let them know they're special, it feels authentic and natural, because we've spent the last half hour building whole worlds with diverse characters and unique stories in a pretend neighborhood, learning about and enjoying different musical instruments, being exposed to and making friends with (even if parasocially, it is still a real bond to children when done properly) children who are similar to us in character regardless of physical or environmental differences, feeding the fish, making art together, and so on. when blippi tells the viewer, "you are very special, and i enjoy spending time with you!" it falls completely flat and feels unearned, because the last half hour was spent running around a soft play center pointing at bright, colorful objects, visiting interesting locations like farms or fruit production factories while failing to acknowledge the humanity of the humans actually working there (everything is machine or product focused; the human workers are simply an extension of the machine), learning "fun facts" about elephants that just list attributes of elephants, not taking the opportunity to inform the viewers of elephants' intelligence, or diet, or matriarchal society. it is a loud, sensory overwhelming display of a man so disconnected from the social and emotional needs and desires of children that he assumes they're stupid, easily entertained idiots who only need some silly dances and fast-moving cartoon graphics to give their attention (meaning time and desire to purchase products meaning $$$). john clearly views his audience as a means to gaming the algorithm and ultimately a paycheck by the hollow way he addresses them.

the show is so narcissistic, so focused on all the fun blippi is supposedly having, but he lacks any of the character traits that make individual children's show hosts memorable, so much so that he was able to have someone else who doesn't even vaguely resemble him dress as blippi and impersonate him and host the show or appear at live shows, and it went unnoticed by most of his toddler and child audience. the show is so formulaic and the character of blippi is so unmemorable that instead of taking the blue's clues route of developing a story of the host leaving for college and his brother now stepping in, or making some sort of believable excuse for the change in actors, they can simply swap him out with some random guy and not acknowledge it at all. although a comedy show for older children, the amanda show in no way could or would try to replicate the show with the same name but swapping out amanda bynes with a random teenage girl who is clearly not amanda bynes. it's weird and nonsensical and shows that his character is so much of a farce put on for a paycheck that not even his dedicated audience is affected or even cares when he is replaced by a random, unknown person.

this is completely garbage content made by an opportunist with no experience with children who saw his nephew watching children's youtube content, took it at complete surface level and still hasn't realized that while children's content only looks and feels so easy, entertaining, and enriching because it is so hard to do well. even with outsourcing his music, that aspect of the show still sucks. famous and successful children's musician, raffi, is known for his song describing the life of a little white whale, called "baby beluga." it opens with a calm strumming of his guitar, followed by the lyrics, "baby beluga in the deep blue sea/swim so wild and you swim so free/heaven above/sea below/and a little white whale on the go." is it silly and kind of pointless? yes, but the point is that he is captivating children and showing them the fun of listening to music, dancing, singing, and appreciating art. the "excavator song" featured in an episode of blippi about construction vehicles opens with what sounds like a default garageband loop and the flatly sung lyrics, "i'm an excavator/i'm an excavator/hey dirt, see you later/i'm an excavator." i don't feel i have to meticulously analyze the aforementioned lyrics; the stark contrast should speak for itself.

i have a million more criticisms about both blippi specifically and youtube children's content as a whole, but this is already so long and i doubt many people will get this far anyway. it's an issue i was completely apathetic towards until i had my own child and had to wean him off these kinds of junk food shows because i realized the fast-paced visuals and bright colors and repetitive songs/lyrics were putting him in this spaced-out, fugue state, and he thought he could demand this show or that show whenever he wanted. the moment he started regularly yelling things like, "watch! cars!" or "no! click it!" i knew i had to be a lot more invested in the things he watched even if just for entertainment or as a soothing message. i showed him an episode of mr. rogers yesterday and feared it would be too slow to hold his attention, but he was mesmerized, greeting and interacting with mr. rogers verbally, asking me, "what's that?" to different objects on the screen. since purging this low-brow children's entertainment, he has had a noticeable increase in attention span and concentration, can focus on a task for longer amounts of times, is more likely to "read"/look through books without me initiating it, and doesn't throw a fit when the tv/my laptop is off.

i just know that for me, growing up with so much unsupervised internet access definitely led me to real-world pain and consequences, and it seems like now children are born with an iphone as an extension of their arm. if my child is going to be consuming videos, i'm definitely supervising every second and am going to be highly critical of the videos and the credentials (or lack thereof) of the creators and team behind it. but i also know, from pure observation admittedly, that parents letting youtube kids autoplay parent their children for hours at a time is not an uncommon occurrence. and it worries me that a generation of children are being raised on videos that rely on being as loud and bright and superficially enjoyable as possible. what's the use of a child knowing their colors and alphabet if they don't know how to treat people with kindness and empathy and respect? there is something wrong for a children's show host to plug the spelling of his name at the end of his videos ("well, that's the end of this video. but if you wanna watch more of my videos, just type in my name! can you spell my name with me? b-l-i-p-p-i!") after essentially rotting his audiences' brains for a half hour. there's something so insidious about the prioritization of naming different parts of construction vehicles over honest depictions of and conversations about dealing with feelings, or why someone with autism may act differently than you, or what to do when you feel lonely, or ways to make art and express yrself creatively. also, not to mention the blatant police propaganda and outright worship is seriously jarring; as a black mother to a visibly non-white child, i cannot sit there and watch blippi show kids how to be a bootlicker for the shittiest profession on earth, but that could be a whole essay in and of itself.

anyway, thanks for reading, if yr looking for quality children's content, i recommend, in no specific order: mr. rogers, sesame street, the electric company, molly of denali, daniel tiger, bluey!, blue's clues, the odd squad, word party, trash truck, puffin rock, uhh... that's definitely not an extensive list but that's just off the dome!!! ok bye y'all <333

#lil rambles #long post t #idk why it's formatted like this ig cos i copy pasted from my fb?#whatever anyway idk why i waste my writing skills on shit literally nobody else but me cares abt #blippi #children's television

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