#Idleness I guess

[artificial-absinthe]

@the-apostates-martyr tagged me in a current stuff thing.

Currently reading: War and Peace by Tolstoy.

Last song you listened: Don't kiss me by Emilie Autumn.

Last movie watched: I don't remember the last time I've watched a movie by my own choice. I think it was  Howl's moving Castle. Gorgeous film. But if we include series, it was The Sandman.

Currently working on:  a commission for a transformers fanmade game, my never ending all life novel, and a couple of stupid drawings about stupid ideas that crossed my mind for the strangest of reasons.

I will tag @ohblushblushblush, @ruskeptical @nosferatu-pvssy, @henri-millairelaire

[ciearcab]

beyond the distant horizon

[unusedcactus]

hey what the hell

[ambrosia-vinca]

Thinking about how interesting it would have been to combine original Crow lore with Lucanis being protective over the slaves and freeing them, resisting Illario's very business, Crow-focused advice during the Wigmaker job.

It would have been interesting to explore why Lucanis acts the way he does in that story beyond “he's a nice person despite being a professional assassin”, especially when put up against established Crow lore.

To be clear, I'm talking about the Crows as their fucked up version established in previous games, books, and comics, and for the purpose of these thoughts I'm ignoring Veilguard's almost squeaky clean portrayal of them.

Lucanis is in his mid-thirties, and his parents were murdered when he was a child. This means that presumably, Caterina has been First Talon for a few decades, before Zevran defected from the Crows, which means that even if perhaps not all Crow Houses dabble in buying children (I'm thinking of Teia in particular, because in Tevinter Nights, she is portrayed as seeing the Crows and Caterina through kind of rose-tinted glasses, so maybe House Cantori doesn't do that anymore once Teia becomes a Talon), Caterina would definitely have known about this practice, and she would have overseen it. Just like she would know perfectly well what goes on in Velabanchel, the place where Crows lock up people "for fun and torture" (!)

Which means that going from this, Lucanis would have also known about everything. Heir to the First Talon as he is, his experience of the Crows is very different from someone like Zevran's, being materially privileged at least, never lacking for money, but also similar in that it was abusive with the fucked up training the Crows go through, on top of Caterina's special brand of smothering expectations. He wasn't bought from a brothel, but he would know that's how the Crows pad their ranks.

Now how would Lucanis reconcile his undying loyalty to his only two remaining family members with the moral principles he has apparently somehow managed to keep protected all these years, the heart that is purely him? Knowing that Caterina tacitly assents, if not outright participates in the practice of buying orphans to raise them into assassins while those who aren't strong enough die? Is that not another form of slavery on part of the Crows? It would mean a high level of cognitive dissonance to close your eyes on something like that, and it would mean smothering his own moral principles for a long, long time. Lucanis has been raised in this environment, brainwashed into being a killer too, with a determination and loyalty to his family that are unfailing because he clings to them as they are the only thing he has in the world, to the point of it almost (if not outright) being unhealthy, unable to ever say no to his grandmother or to risk disappointing her. If he goes against his family, he has nothing, he *is* nothing, because in his mind, the only thing he is good at is being a Crow aka killing people.

And then the golden Dellamorte child gets to Vyrantium, and he risks sparing a witness, because she is a slave and has no choice in being there. And then he takes even more risks to have the Wigmaker's slaves escape with their lives and be freed, and he feels rage at the way the victims have been tortured, and the perfect little Crow says fuck the job.

Could it have been, consciously, or maybe subconsciously, a way to oppose his grandmother? Have the principles he has never actually managed to make known because he has never been able to stand up to Caterina before grown too strong to ignore because of what he witnessed in Tevinter? Would Lucanis be conscious of the fact that perhaps his uncontrolled anger at the treatment of the slaves in Wigmaker might stem from his own repressed horror at Crow practices buying and torturing children, Lucanis going so far as saying “fuck the job” which is a big deal for someone as loyal and in control as he usually is? Could his saying “fuck the job” and causing chaos in Vyrantium or maybe in other jobs involving slavery have eventually made him butt heads with Caterina because of the mess he made for shamefully sentimental reasons despite being the usually perfectly controlled golden child, or would she have turned a blind eye because he's her “favorite”? Could *this* have been the rift that may or may not make Lucanis finally take a step away?

I want to study Lucanis' character under a microscope. His character can fit so much moral conflict.

[luna-loveboop]

Midna literally just refused to get OFF

[frootloopsl]

[oldphanny]

I was just thinking about how I was introduced to dip and pip back in high school and how my 'friend' group were a bunch of extremely Christian girls. They would wholeheartedly argue over how dip and pip were clearly very straight and how crazy it must be to be their girlfriends considering all the crazy fans online shipping Dan and Phil together. All while my closeted ass was sitting there reading the most devilish phan fiction and shipping them to hell and back. I wonder if they know :) I would have loved to be a fly on the wall of them finding out that not only are Dan and Phil gay as shit, but are very much gay for each other :)))

[indestinatus]

it's interesting and downright sad sometimes when your creativity wave doesn't match the interaction wave of the fandom you know you can't and won't leave but still wish the excitement of others matched yours

[cruel-hiraeth]

for those inquiring (cough @pastelle-rabbit cough). this is a solid 2 years old, though, so it has probably changed. although what i fantasize about with fictional characters is ofc different from my irl preference 🙂‍↕️

[mikulover12]

moe ellis again but hes not in the early 2000’s artstyle anymore but still moe :3

[ariadne-mouse]

I'll be watching tonight's episode on Twitch but I am curious to see how things will operate on Beacon with it being a VOD rather than a stream, and potentially with the ad break cut out as well. While I can appreciate the intent & it is probably a whole other can of worms to host streaming [CORRECTION apparently the Daggerheart one shot was streamed live from Beacon - that's awesome!], I hope that over time they can figure out how to best sync up the initial airing between Beacon and their other platforms. Maybe stream first & drop the VOD right after. Call me crazy but I actually prefer the streaming experience with a mandatory break in the middle! And I enjoy all viewers being around the same timestamp so it's possible to peruse the main critical role tag without seeing something jumped ahead. And with the break cut out of the version on Beacon, it would be very easy in the second half for a block of viewers to be naturally 15min ahead even if no one is deliberately skipping forward. As such, I'll probably stay out of the cr tag tonight. Happy watching, whatever platform you're on!

[youarenotthewalrus]

Read Scott Pilgrim recently and like. Why did Bryan Lee O'Malley give Scott a social circle consisting almost entirely of women and gay men? Like, Scott is supposed to be a straight dude but he has literally two straight dude friends and one of them later turns out to be gay. It's not even like this is some accident of how the supporting cast happened to shake out either, Scott explicitly says that all his friends in high school were girls. This is a deliberate characterization choice and like... why?

[randomly-generated-posts-machine]

percy jackson gaslighting srinklo is so ooga chaka baby

[yooils]

california and me by laufey but with my fav fav nagi seishiro where you're his home. and everything he could wish for. but instead he leaves you for football (and reo???) and you know you can't win against something he truly has passion towards– which was never you– and he loses the only place where he's ever belonged for a life he could truly enjoy.

[weisshapt]

𝖆 𝖓 𝖘 𝖔 𝖓

when you close your eyes, what do you see? do you hold the light or is darkness underneath? in your hands, there's a touch that can heal but in those same hands is the power to kill are you a man or a monster?

for one of my favorites from one of my favorites @alistairs

[baeshijima]

alrighty everyone !! as of typing this, 2024 (ew...) is only a few minutes away and i wanted to send a little message to whoever may be reading this.

the most important thing i want to say is this: i'm proud of you for making it to the new year. it's been a tough year, and we have all had our own difficulties to overcome, with some being more dire than others. no matter how trivial you may think the hurdle has been, that doesn't dismiss the courage it took to get past it and grow from the experience. thank you for not giving up and persevering through another year <3

for me personally, i want to thank all of you for making my 2023. whether you're a long-time follower or someone who recently discovered my blog, a long-time friend or a new friend, someone who interacts with my works or prefers to quietly enjoy them, i want to thank you for being here through yet another year. i hope we can continue into this next year with more fics and brainrots (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡

happy new year everyone !! i wish your year of 2024 to be one filled with nothing but happiness, love, kindness, and health despite what difficulties may come your way (≧◡≦) ♡