#Idk something to think about lol
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Bit of a hot take but I was talking to my therapist this morning about a guy I went on a date with who rejected a second date because I didn't have a dick like he thought I did. And I was saying "Yeah genital preference is valid" and she was like "eh, I feel like they're just not creative enough".
And I was like damn that's. Not a bad take lol. Like yeah, if you have a genital preference, you do you, but also like. Think about that a bit, see if you're just not being creative enough or if you really have a preference. In the case of trauma obviously that's different but like. I don't wanna go on a second date with that guy but if he wanted me to fuck him with a strap on dw buddy that was already the plan, YOU'RE the one that got weird about whether or not said dick was physically attached to me
#Idk something to think about lol#Also that guy had a couple other red flags so I think I kinda dodged a bullet#Not the best outcome of my first date in several years but hey#Now I've been rejected for the classic thing so many trans people are rejected for#It's like a right of passage 😅
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something something luigi doesn't remember the final events of spm or dimentio at all after he's defeated (but mario remembers everything)
#super mario bros#super paper mario#smb#spm#dreamyart#i have a lot of thoughts about luigi having amnesia afterward and mario knowing and remembering vividly exactly what happened#like he has vague memories of bleck's crew but just as he knew them as Luigi and not as he knew them as L y'know? plus they're still around#but dimentio is Gone gone and idk maybe his floro sprout sapped his memory of him entirely something like that#i also just think bc dimentio is a weird little interdimensional being he definitely still exists Somewhere#and just wants to torment luigi with visions lol#AND i just think weege has weird vivid dreams anyway thanks dream team can we take this guy to a sleep study#this all severely fucks mario up right like i saw you turn into the antichrist and what do you mean you have no idea what i'm talking about#i saw this little freak brainwash you and force me to fight you. and luigi's just like. Huh. What. No way that happened ur pullin my leg#i dunno i have many thoughts okay byee
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I think if you consider yourself someone who genuinely cares about dismantling bioessentalism and the speaking out about harm it does to society you HAVE to acknowledge that bioessentalism is one of the oldest tools in the patriarchy's toolbox and not something twentieth-century TERFs invented
#this is not to say bioessentalism is NOT relevant to discussions of terfism btw#I just see too many people speaking about bioessentalist rhetoric as if its something only TERFs or Bad Women utilize#and that is fundamentally incorrect lol#I think acknowledging that bioessentalism has always been a tool of the patriarchy is important esp when talking about the very obvious#connections between terfism and 'traditional' right wing ideology#idk I think a lot of people just talk about bioessentalism as something Women(TM) believe and its really weird to me
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief
for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled
something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.
figuring out the looks:
i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair
#tim drake#dc#bruce wayne#janet drake#sart#i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter#which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves#but this also definitely works for trans tim#she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter#would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around#she barely knew her son#gender idk he's a girl 👍 hope that helps#i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn#-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED#i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol#(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)
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that annoying moment when getting left for dead in the trunk of a car in your 20s comes back to haunt you 40 years later (take a shot every time ford says “stanley”)
#i love making ford look like a kicked puppy#my favorite pastime#i also like making stan suffer then he brushes it off like a joke <3#these guys have issues#anyway context? what’s that ahaha#but idk. i guess in their adventures they get into fights with things and people#and eventually stan gets pushed and locked into a trunk or one of those little freezers that lock on the outside#and he’s in this tiny space and he can’t just push his way out so he panics and forgets where he is for a second#and by the time ford gets rid of the people/things attacking and finds wherever stan went (kind of easy to tell when he’s yelling)#he’s gotta like. ground him or whatever#those 6 fingers come in handy bc he’s just gotta grab onto stan’s hand and let him feel those 6 fingers against his hand#👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼#anyway i lowkey don’t even like the dialogue in this#and ofc the drawings are low quality as usual#but whatever i am Not going back to work on this lol#idgaf take whatever i give y’all guys 🗣️#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#stan twins#sea grunks#stangst#??? yeahg#my art#rystiart#i’ll have it in me to sit down and make something better one day but today is not that day#also ahem. he repeats please a lot when he’s about to die haha. why do y’all think he hates saying please so much? 😇
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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Gay sex won’t fix them, it will actually make everything so much worse, but I wanna see an unhealthy obsession form so I think we should let ‘em go at it
#I think y’all can tell who this is about lol#fnaf#willry#dead plate#I don’t even know what their ship name would be#vincody?#or something?#idk I’m just here for the gay cannibalism I don’t hardcore ship em or anything
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screebbles
#idk what this is i am just thinking about them#hunter x hunter#hxh#melody hxh#kurapika#senritsu#help i want to make christmas/wintery art but i haven't started anything#will i scribble something at lightspeed in the next 24 hours before i part from my tablet for the holidays#or become lazy and give up lol
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Once the theatre monkey discovers angsty broadway musicals its all over y'all
or: I got a new personal project I'm workin' on! I'm at the first pass on the animatic rn! I forgot that 'generate matte' is a thing you can do in SB Pro for a whole hour!! I'm suffering!!!
#lmk#lego monkie kid#animatic#wip#storyboarding#fanart#six eared macaque#liu'er mihou#lmk macaque#shadowpeach#sun wukong is not here but he is haunting the mini-narrative#mac thinks HE's doing the haunting lol nah dude your ex-mans is living rent-free in ur cranium#I heard this song in a 'cartoon villain playlist' and only learned later it was from a play and went like:#“and i can feel bitter shadowpeach feels in this chilis tonight”#something something Denial something something river in Egypt#this is what happens when u don't talk about your feelings#POV: you're on the downward spiral but you're taking it like a waterslide#for real my favorite part of mac's character arc is where he's justifiably Bitter About It#but that won't stop him from being UNjustifiably a huge piece of work and Extremely Biased about it#it being the past events where two monkies both managed to fumble the bag in adjacent but slightly different ways#macaque ilu but u are not genre-savvy sometimes#i know mac is a chinese character BUT#he would totally spell theatre <- this way if he learned to read/write in english#i actually headcanon that his magical celestial monkey hearing would make it REALLY easy to pick up new languages but not the writing#oop i forgot: song is For The Record from 36 Questions#which I have not seen so idk how thematically relevant the og song context will be here
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She's feeling a swell of an emotion at confessing all of this. She works to get it under control. /// Although he can't understand her, HAYWARD, too, is choking up a little at the sound of PAIGE's voice.
#the silt verses#james hayward#paige duplass#tsv#digital#the way i tried rushing this before when I thought the new episode would be (monday)#tsv coming in clutch and not releasing until thursday *throws confetti*#my laptop and tablet gave me such a hard time this week LOL#anyway#it's been weeks and I still cannot stop thinking about this part#i think there is something about being comforted by someone even if you're not /necessarily/ in the same moment#idk how else to describe it like the visual of them sitting by themselves in the dark#fiddling desperately with the radio in hopes they can speak to one another#(btw none of this is representative of what I think the actual scene looked like just entirely off vibes)#being comforted by the presence on the other end that they can juuust ever so slightly feel#even if neither are necessarily on the same page#they mean so much to me your honor!!#like not even as a ship they just mean so much to me i love them i love these characters I can't believe it's ending soon#alt id in the image description!#artists on tumblr
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40 :3
40~ an impulsive kiss
My handwriting is messy, but i intended it as 3 speech bubbles:
Phoenix says (1)“Come here” while interrupting Edgeworth as he says (2)“W-”, and after he turns away, Phoenix says “They’re gone now”.
Hope you enjoy the not-so-healthy 7yg narumitsus!! Thanks :D
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#i decided to say fuck it and just post the really messy sketch bc I DONT GOT THE TIME to render every single art ok#uhhhhhh something something they’re investigating the bad place idk idk#also please forgive me for not showing phoenix removing the beanie. please just imagine that it’s there#i dont think this is a very polite thing to do since phoenix didn’t really ask but miles is just feeling conflicted homosexually about it#yes every single one of these is going to be 7yg until someone asks for something else ^^<333#smooches#7yg#beanix#fan art#aa#fan comic#rendoodles#lowkey it looks like he says ‘they’re gay now’ and so i really couldn’t bring myself to change it lol#asks#kiss meme
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humans some of your humanoids
#my art#artwork#crow does art#digital art#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#ouaw kremy#ouaw frost#kremy lecroux#morning frost#not totally confident in frost's design but like#thats just kremy. like yea thats EXACTLY how i think he'd look as a human#gideon would look identical and gricko would look like jerma btw LOL#idk since day 1 i've thought gricko kinda vaguely resembles jerma#im deffo insane but whatever dfhskfs#also torbek doesnt change at all. for some reason#i said this in the loa server but i think strangely enough he could pass for a really hairy human guy in his current form#something about him... idk i dont think he needs any changes
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Random subject,
but I need someone to make a video essay about the bastardization of female characters and the woobification of male characters in media/fandom spaces
because I think it’s a really interesting subject that probably stems from biases that plague our society
from
“He’s such a silly little guy.”
to
Literally calling fictional female characters worse than Hitler or something
Like, I feel like people talk about specific characters but not the topic as a broader subject
I feel like there’s so much to talk about
but I don’t have the elegance, critical thinking skills, the experience, or consume enough media to talk about this
So anyone who’s reading this please, please make a video essay about it
Or make one arguing against it idk
I just need a good video essay to watch while doing homework
#On Talking Terms#Sorry for the ramble#but I think about this subject so much#It’s not even funny#I just want to plant the seeds in someone mind#spark conversation or something#because imo it’s such an interesting topic that feels like it has so many moving parts#Like I feel like there’s so much depth to characters but the simplification on both side can be a bit frustrating#I want to see people’s in-depth opinions about characters#But it’s just hand waved as girlboss behavior or she’s evil or he’s a sad boy#Like I can list so many characters but you guys probably have some already#Anyways I’m done now#Back to Kirby content lol#May delete later idk
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Uhhhh words words words
K bye running away 💃💃💃
<===—===>
#comic#coko doodles#Kendra#Donnie#Cassandra#or Casey#idk which to tag tbh#rottmnt#tmnt#tmnt iteration#drawing#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#doodle#sketch#teenage mutant ninja turtles#something something expression blah blah yadda yadda#I mentioned something o think about him not having dreams#unless I didn’t#THEN LOL
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January – ¿Cómo te va?
(context for this under the cut)
Yay! This is another project I've been planning since last October, where I draw a piece based on a song that I associate with the twins! Tones and genres will vary (I promise not every piece will be sad 😭), and it'll be tagged as Twins, Tunes & Tonics.
I'm going for at least one song a month until December, but we'll see if I can actually keep up with this ^^;
#submas#truth be told. the colors on this piece didn't come out the way i hoped.#to be further honest. im not sure what colors i even wanted. i spent hours playing with the lighting and nothing ever sat quite right for m#im content with how they turned out. not completely satisfied though. :(#although i did have a lot more fun with the sketch and line art for some reason. idk something about them was SO fun to draw ^^#maybe one day i'll return to this and see if i can execute this better but i've stared at it long enough 👍#anywayss#i've also got 5 definitive songs picked so far. it is surprisingly hard to comb through my playlists and choose which ones i vibe with lol.#oh also also for some pieces i'll add context to why i picked a song. for SOME. others are kinda obvious.#i think that's all i got for now 👍#warden ingo#submas emmet#ingo#emmet#my art#Twins Tunes & Tonics
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