#Idk I'm stupid ig
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Yo porqué voy a estar con alguien que no confía en mí y me esconde cosas y me miente?
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Hey so I'm not really good at Traditional art/Illustrations but i'm feeling really good bout these Cut-outs I've made for my Scrapbook-Journal!!
Like, i know i've made plenty of mistakes, and it doesn't look amazing, but for me, to work with what i have skills and materials-wise, i think i'm getting better at it! haha
That Yuujikuna is quite old lul
+ Bonus (A Sukuna Keychain i got a couple of months back :p Cuz' pHoToGrApHy)
#ooc#my art#traditional art#blegh post#sukuna#idk what to tag this as#photography#?#I'm gonna look stupid to people looking through the photography tag if this works#but whatever ig lol#also owch but i think somethings wrong with my right hand i hope its nothing serious oof#i feel like i accidentally ripped something earlier#shiiiiiiiet
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finding a distinct lack of weed related things in fma. I got my posts back so in the spirit of 420 I’m offering this doodle from the other day ‼️ go smoke some weed
#fullmetal alchemist#fma#fmab#fma brotherhood#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#alphonse elric#edward elric#elric brothers#lou is an artist#anyways. I think uhhhhh. Mustang smokes weed but cannot do anything for himself. he doesn't have a dealer and can't roll for the life of hi#he has to get hawkeye to get him everything. she also rolls for him#and edward and al. al can roll both joints and blunts and ed can barely roll a joint#he rolls the worst little blunts and gets alphonse to pack bowls for him#he can get weed tho. he's friendly enough with most people to know how to get to a weed person from basically anywhere. al cannot.#ALSO I had this really really REALLY stupid idea of like. hohenheim fucking growing weed based on my own dad. in his study or whatever#I thought it was SOOO funny and they try sneaking in bc they're not allowed and BAM. face full of marijuana. funny as fuck to me#uhhhh. idk. I think I'm funny.#also PSA if you don't know already!!! blunts and joints are different bc of the papers they use. blunts have cigar wraps#and joints use cigarette paper !! they also have different techniques ig. I haven't wrapped a blunt but they're supposed to be more#brute forced and joints use more finesse says my brother the in-house stoner. well the main one at least
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Cool cover but I edited his face slightly cuz the shading there was bothering me so much.
Lower quality edit that not as clean up under the read more as I started w that before finding a higher quality version online
#mairuma#m!ik#iruma suzuki#my edits#I don't typically do edits likes these cuz it feels like falls into a 'fix it' art which I just personally find a bit disrespectful#But his shading on his lower face was bugging me so much#Especially after seeing somebody say he has a sunburn cuz yeah it does low-key look like that lmao#But even then it doesn't make sense to me?#Cuz why is there such a hard curve on the right n then on the left it just there#Also I know it nishi style to throw colours around n even have shading break away sometimes but even then it feels off on his face like she#Made a mistake or something idk#Like I'm trying to figure out where that shadow is being casted down by for it to be so harsh ??#Idk maybe I'm just stupid n don't know art which is likely but it bugging me so I decided to try a edit to put my to ease#Even if it looks bad but whatever#Not rlly putting it into the full tags but it can can go into the short hand one ig#Also the higher quality one I found on a social media site so there a possibility it a1-scale up which fuck if it is#But I'm assuming it the official higher quality ver
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ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed
ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them
and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it
and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it
so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO
#vent#ig???????????#it's not even funny (it's a little funny) how the only reason i've like. thought about this was because i am becoming#more and more jealous of actors in the musicals i watch#greaseball when i get you. when i get you#like i know it IS possible play as male characters in musicals or something as a girl if i ever wanted to#but the thing is i want to look like them and sound like them and i want to be masculine#this is me questioning my gender on my fucking cats the musical tumblr blog everybody point and laugh#might delete later depending on how embarrassed i get ARGH#I FEEL SHEEPISH#had this in my drafts for a long time but i'm caving in and posting it because i had a bad night last night thinking abt it#and i need to know. also i'm lying in bed having to get up and i don't wanna so i'm making excuses#anyway again. i'm embarrassed feel free to ignore this is so stupid#ok. being brave about this#i don't like being negative on here. idk if it's negative but it might come off that way and i don't want to be awkward#also idk how sharing it here will help. but i don't really know what else to go to#if nobody got me i know tumblr got me can i get an amen#keep adding tags to this like it's going to change anything. post the damn thing idiot#why am i adding so many tags like i'm hyping myself up in the mirror JUST POST IT
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okay!!! got a couple short replies to tiny starters crammed into my (still paused) queue... it's not much, but it's something. tomorrow i'll try to get a bit more done, maybe restart the queue, etc. etc., but. yeah. baby steps.
#drafts are now under 50 but i still have more things i'll probably delete i just. apparently need time to let the decision fully settle ig?#or need to make sure i'll be able to get new threads going with those people? before deleting them?#idk. idk! all i do know is that i accomplished a few things today and that's a good thing#something something need to start slow to start building energy back up#i'm being a lot more conscious about my energy spending & capabilities (not just w/ writing but w/ everything)#bc if i just let myself go i fall into this awful cycle of#overdoing it ⇾ needing to recover ⇾ things pile back up ⇾ overwhelm & avoidance & spiraling ⇾ rinse; repeat#determined to actually get better this year. even if it's gonna be really slow going.#i am once again thanking all of u for ur patience w/ me during this time ♡#ok i'm gonna go play my stupid gacha games n maybe try to sleep earlier tonight so i can have more hours#where my brain feels like it can Do Things tomorrow#love you guys. like seriously so much. ♡♡♡#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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Uuuugh vehement antishippers are so annoyinggg 😑
#and since when is damijon on their shit list??#the prompt i got asked for them specifically AND i was aging them both up to be like. late twenties/early thirties bc future fic#and now i gotta rewrite 4k bc the event mods said 'erm that's not allowed actually'#like. ill put up with it bc it's for charity. but i still think shipping discourse is stupid#ig i just figured i could ignore it bc in general i ship shit that's pretty standard#but now im just like 😶 ok. cool. maybe be more specific about what kind of content you're not willing to provide instead of the vague#'proship content not allowed' like goddamn#anyway now i gotta go think up a new plot for this prompt and rewrite 4k fml#\vent#idk how to tag this but i'm actually so annoyed. like. eye rolling levels.#seriously i was writing a 29 y/o and a 31 y/o together it was actually the most whitebread 'unproblematic' thing in the world uuuuuugh#whatever it's for charity. WHATEVER. i will let the annoyance flow through me. i will stop giving so much of a shit.#twitter beef is the mind killer etcetera etcetera all that jazz
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Why are ppl drawing sonic as the joker
#ramblings#ik it's bc of the dc x sonic crossover. but like#sonic. wouldn't be the joker#idk much abt batman but i'm pretty sure the joker is a horrible person that like. kills ppl and shit#idk putting sonic in that role is weird to me#feels like ppl are doing it not bc it fits the character but bc the enemies/rivals to lovers dynamic with shadow translates better#which. personally. i think that's a stupid reason#do whatever ig but i don't like it. big 'he would not fucking say that' moment
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When you re-listen to music made by someone you have very complicated feelings about now but used to be a gigantic fan of and 1. The songs still slap and 2. Like 5 of them just sound like vents of your feelings about the artist your listening to
#It's fucking weird man ;__;#I still know all the words#Legitimately kinda wish I could make covers of some of his songs bc that is how I feel about him#But that's fucking stupid and I really shouldn't do that#And also some of the songs are just like#Damn well that fits my story and I want to make an animatic to it but also haha I don't want it to come off that I like-#Idk support him?#I don't want him dead or anything#But I don't like that man#I have a lot of complicated feelings about him even#Anyway#Almost 3am so I'm just kinda in that state rn#cryptid.thoughts#This is not about cc!dream#Literally anyone who has been on this blog for a while or knows me will know this is not about dream#Anyway goodnight ig
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small vent thing ig???
I've been losing the idgaf war so bad for the past week and I have to wait another week until I see my therapist??? guh everuthing sucks fat balls rn cuz I'm thinking sooo much about one little thing, and I keep thinking everyone hates me, but I don't wanna talk about it to my parents cuz it's embarrassing how much it bothers me this is not normal behavior 😭😭😭
#is this considered a vent???#it's a silly vent ig#idk I've been feeling horrible for the past week#bcuz I'm thinking about something stupid that isn't important#ok I'm repeating myself but this is getting bad lmao#go crazy ahhh go stupid ahhh#ik it's probably just anxiety but I've never felt this way for this long before??? ermm what the scallop#I just wanted to get this off my chest in some way since it's gonna be so long until I see my therapist#the chronicles of hodgepodge
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Anyone else feel incredibly disconnected from their childhood self and get really uncomfortable when that mental barrier is lifted and they fully realize that they occupy the same physical body as the child they used to be or is that just me
#might just be because the first time the barrier lifted was when I got stupid high and at first it was nice but then#I wound up having a panic attack on the bathroom floor and I've been scared of that feeling ever since but#the disconnect can't be normal in the first place right?#idk#I'm trans and fucked up ig
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50$ to print 10 of the same skin has always been so insane to me. you're telling me it's 50$ to print....only 10.....of a single skin....and that's normal. And not only is that normal, that's what's required for a skin shop. where ppl may not even sign up for 10 runs. and then you're left in the shitter with at minimum 1-4 skins nobody wanted (not to mention if some people decide not to pay afterward) that you have to just pray someone finds & buys on the auction house. And it's 50$. Uhuh. And then that's just the artist's issue and fault and we're gonna blame them instead of the fact that a 10 print run costs as much as groceries.
#dont get me started on how gems to real money is i hate it and i think its stupid but in particular its bad for uma folks#i just cant comprehend it. i know yall making FAR too much bank off uma ppl don't beg me to turn your ads back on bro youre literally fine#fr#flight rising#chimechatter#yeah fuck it ill put this in the main tag who give a shit#50$ is such a slap in the face. not even to mention how hard it can be to keep accents within the 35% range so youre only spending 25$#instead. like u have to limit ur vision. which uscks. idk. just not a fan of it purrsonally. if you are then good for you ig#i just cant support pet site png packs costing more than like 10$ each. i cant do it. inconcievable.#EDIT: got one comment that made me want to write an essay on how FIFTY DOLLARS IS GROCERY MONEY AND THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE GAME IS DECORAT#NG YOUR DRAGON SO OFC PEOPLE WANT TO DECORATE THEIR DRAGON AND MY POINT STILL STANDS THAT 50$ IS INSANE#2000G/20$ IS SO MUCH MORE REASONABLE AND Basically if you even half-defend it i'm blocking you sorry.#“”“optional”“” premium item doesnt excuse fucking grocery money cost and not everybody wants to grind their life away fulltime petsite job#anyways. my point of this edit is im turning off notifs and if you send me an ask about this i'm blocking you. goodnight
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I sort of signed up for something but I didn't actually expect this to happen 😅
Now I don't want to do this anymore 🫠
#wow this is stupid#i should have thought first#so you know i play football at my uni for fun#and we have this uni football tournament one time each semester#so i offered i could play goalie if they couldn't find anyone#but i didn't expect my coach to actually choose me 😭#i said only if necessary#and i have offered it times before as well because i probably mind it the least and someone has to do it ig#i don't hate it i have played this position a couple of times before in training and i'm not horrible at it#but it was outside (on grass) and idk how i'm supposed to jump on hard floor if necessary because i'm also no real goalie#i don't know the techniques or whatever so i'm a bit worried for myself here 😅 it'd be fine outside surely#and like i know it's not necessary to risk anything for a fun tournament but i worry my ambition could get the better of me#and yeah i'd prefer to play outfield anyway i'm more of a winger 😅#i've only played this position when i played in a football club and this year i have finally improved so i could do well#now this 😅#i'm only decent in goal because i'm a tennis player so i have good reflexes and fairly tall but it's not my position hahah#speaking of tennis i really don't want to injure myself at any chance i'm competing the weekend after#i have never actually seriously injured myself playing football but now i'm worried 😅#i know this is kinda my fault but should i tell my coach this?#he also said he probably won't choose me before the holidays 😭 and i also never got to practice this year#so this is something... i also don't want to disappoint 🫠
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#rant cw#mental health cw#negativity cw#I literally just need to scream somewhere so please feel free to ignore this - I'll be fine#I'm so tired of working my ass off so my family don't get angry at me while I'm staying with them (I'm still sofa surfing unfortunately)#All while I'm dealing with all my mental illnesses RAW because I'm still waiting on a therapist#only to have family members act like I'M the lazy one or imply I only do half jobs#got back home 20 minutes before they arrived back and I'd already:#moved the sofa beds - put the bedsheets away - moved their chairs back to their desks - made some tea and my sisters hot water bottle#got my nephews drink and his tablet - empty my sister's ashtray - I HADN'T EVEN EATEN ANYTHING YET AND IT WAS LIKE 4PM#and what I get is my sister using the phrase 'don't pull a mags' when my mum only half-did a job after dinner#keep in mind this is the same woman (my sister) who refuses to do washing up 'because of her nails'#but at the same time god forbid I freak out WHILE STILL DOING THE JOBS I'M ASKED TO because of sensory issues - then I'm overreacting#GOD FORBID I STRUGGLE AND STILL DO THE THING#I'm so fucking tired of never being good enough for people for FUCK SAKE I'M TRYING AND I'M BURNING MYSELF OUT DOING SO#I need to get out of this fucking situation this year I s2g#I'm so fucking tired -#I know it was a small comment from her this time but it felt like a punch to the chest because I'm TRYING SO HARD#maybe I'm being stupid and overreacting but feelings are stupid sometimes ig- idk man#ooc || the birb speaks
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ok isn't batman a protector. isn't a big part of his whole thing the preciousness of life. and isn't robin (all of them, but THE FIRST ONE esp) an extension of the things bruce believes? they're a team. and haven't they dealt with people who are in crisis thousands of times. AND WASNT DICK GRAYSON A COP.
THEN EXPLAIN TO ME THE TITANS SCENE WITH JASON ON THE ROOFTOP
#ok it's different cuz it's jason and ig you could argue that. idk maybe dick had some plan if jason....#ok no actually that's bullshit dick isn't suited up he has nothing on him#he lets it get to the point where jason takes a step forward. and he's just like '.... jason'#dick doesn't comfort him at all he just takes the blame instead#which is something. but i expect dick grayson to handle things a BIT better than that#the whole thing with the team accusing jason was lazy and stupid tbh. and the rooftop thing felt like it was for shock value#which is IRRESPONSIBLE WRITING#not to get Too on a high horse but i imagine the demographic watching this show is many and varied but#a large portion has got to be depressed nerds and/or loners#ah i'm probably projecting. i just don't like seeing suicide used as a plot device in a lazy way#on an irresponsible note of my own. if this is causing jason to be suicidal he is notttt cut out to be robin#also it doesn't really make sense 2 me. that's just not the jason todd i know#kid's tough as fuck and has an axe to grind#not to say that. people who commit s. are w. agh whatever#anyways i'm disappointed AS ALWAYS in how writers have batman/batman adjacent characters handle suicide
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aw man. haha. really pulling a jimmy rn.
- daisuke
#miss swnsea#wish ppl would get it#i'm just a stupid dumb idiot ig#can't get my head out of the clouds#there goes daisuke. what a screwup. what a slacker.#doesn't he know how the world works?#.fuck#i wanna go home#idk#miss swans a lot#pink hibiscus shallow breath#TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
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