#ITS JUDT NOT EARTH ITS FUCKING

[okcoolthanks]

PAUSE WAIT EARTH IS FUCKING DESTROYED AND THEYRE ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING PLANET SLASH SOLAR FUCKING SYSTEM

AND THEYRE ONLG JUST NOW MENTIONING THIS ON EPISODE FUCKING SEVENTEEN. ON SEASON TWO

FUCKING WHAT

[nomaishuttle]

anxiety will have you convinced of the dumbest shit ever and yr like thats so fucking stupid <- gets scared anyway

[900revolvingwheels]

so wgat if dearh just isnt fair at all whay if it sucks so much like im so scared fhat after you die fot some reason your brain stays conscious but in a way that living humans cant pikc up but youre still conacious cause neurons are so insane for exisiting its insane thatbwe exist and since theyre so insane and we cant fully understand why they exist or how we exist who says we dont just stay conscious after death even if we have no way of expla8ning it and thats horrifying thats so scaey yoyre conacious but you cant move your body and you wait there as people lock you in a coffin and bury you underground ajd you watch your own body decompose until the sun grows so large it destroys earth and all those neurons are cooked excpet what if desturction in thqt form cant evenfully kill your conscious but at least its better to eixts in fire and floating around in the air than underground thats why i wanna be cremated im gonna be so ficking mad if i dont get cremated anyway i keep tjonking that theres no way death is jorrible cahse everyone experieces it so it wouldnt be fair for it to be bad for eternity that judt wouldnt be fair but since qhen wqs the universe fair the universe doesnr care if death is boring and l9nely and frustrating becausr rhe universe isnt sentient even if it cared about us it wouldnt be able to do anytuing about it cause stuff just happens death just happen an wjatevers after death will just happen and theres no way around it i hope that death is complete nothingness i hope i have absolutelt no sentience past my life thats my worst fear fuck the afterlife cause sometimes i think about what if i was alive for eternity and that sounds boring but would i actualy ever get bored. maybe i wouldnt like is it possible to get bored of just being alive. idk. cause i still think of death and eternity in terms of me being there like i imagine death as just what it is when i close my eyes but that cant be death death is so mucy more or less or wtv idk and infinity is just like. so long. anyway

[burning-sol]

anyways i didnt do anything today ive been very. uhh. stuck. but i did think about what it would be like for the godslayers to be plopped into prime, specifically about how they would react to "youre not allowed to kill people".

peter is the most fucking relieved like "oh so we dont have to kill anyone ever???? thats so great" and rumi is cautious but like "hmmm well in 99% of situations if prison works then i dont see any reason we WOULD kill anyone. killing people is not something that should be taken lightly after all."

thanatos is. not enthused. i mean he gets the concept because peter and rumi have been trying to tell him to like. spare people. but he still REALLY thinks they should get to murder people. like. its just the most effective way to get rid of an enemy right? so. why . wouldnt you. he is not going to pretend like it isnt an active effort for him to not kill someone.

exandroth has a whole bundle of mixed up emotions because firsty. he cant KILL anyone??? even the bad guys????? like!! that was his favourite part of retributing!!! what the fuck does he do now?? r u kidding me what bullshit is this. he doesnt think jail is an equivalent punishment at ALL like he thinks if theyre evil then smite them off the face of the earth thats divine judgement baby. but also. he sort of likes seeing others rot away? but also she doesnt because it reminds her of being imprisoned herself?? its weird. exandroth walking through a jail would feel like pulling teeth in a mix of "I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE HERE" "HAHAH THEYRE ROTTING IN JAIL" "BEING IMPRISONED IS... NOT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE THIS TAKEN THIS LIGHTLY" exandroth can sort of tolerate it since its not affecting him directly but if there were a question of "we're going to try and imprison someone you care about" exandroth is just going to kill everyone involved no matter what. FUCK prison bitch. no.

but basically, peter and rumi have a much easier time adjusting to prime and the social conventions. except for the concept of i.d probably? i dont think theyd be too happy that there is a constant surveillance and a lack of anonimity that there was back in prevarus. they dont mind following rules but the idea of someone constantly watching over you?? thats really fucked up. even if rumi is a charismatic type that's not the same as consenting to being constantly watched. itd make them freak out.

meanwhile exandroth and thanatos are. theyre sort of adjusting? but not that well. theyre like. murderers. and god slayers. for realsies. like thats built up to be a considerable part of their identity?? they can adjust but letting go of that is difficult.

oh and their views on authority. i think peter and rumi are a bit iffy on it but are like "well... technically it is run by PEOPLE so thats not all bad". exandroth and thanatos are showing sheer disrespect "THESE BITCHES ARE ACTING LIKE THEYRE GODS LOOK AT THESE STATUES THANNY THATS LIKE WORSHIP STATUS WE NEED TO MURDER THEM" and yeah u talk them down from not judt running up and murdering them. but thats not necessarily because they dont WANT to. but because they go "exandroth. if i could compare this situation back when we first met" "UHUH" "..i think these superheroes would, metaphorically, turn us into spiders" "SHIT YOURE RIGHT. WE'RE STILL NOT STRONG ENOUGH FUCK THIS"

ig overall the group isnt like EVIL but they would be considered morally grey more towards the darker tones. theyre just *waiting* for the moment the prime superheroes turn on them and label them villains. not that its their fault. they just wanna change the world for the better. if theyre considered evil for that rhen irs not their problem.

anyways those are my thoughts rn im getting sleeby.

[pathologising]

screaming and crying the complexity of the human body...the complexity of organisms period...there are cells within me...there is a bacterial ecosystem upon my very self...there are worlds upon worlds upon worlds all around me...ones I cannot see and we just live in tandem with them....cells and cells and creatures and...and we are all just ATOMS and particles and cells and systems all working together every single day...every single day

[skenpiel]

i know ive said this like a hundred times but god babies are just so fucking funny

[amphitritie]

//

[redstone-sun]

more questions for zain, 11, 21, 26 (i forgot the last one so judt a number)

11: How do you come up with your fic titles?

really depends on the fic. i like the IDEA of song lyrics as titles but have never put it into practice. i like my titles to have multiple meanings but that only happens occasionally, but FOR EXAMPLE my current project is called Salt & Honey, because it deals w fallen london gaoler's honey and the god Salt, but also zee-salt and hurt/comfort sweetness so the dichotomy extends past the literal meaning. chilled clean through to the bone is a line from my favorite poem(and the fic was just an excuse to write about my favorite poem), tgpol is LITERALLY a performance, and most of the two-word titles are just punchy little phrases that kinda sum up the story idea

trsns is so named bc the ask i saw that i ended up basing trsns around had a similar phrase and i latched onto it like a limpet.

21: What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

the editing, or writing the bits between the bits i wanted to write. takes me fucking forever and i hate it and it hurts. also fixing plotholes is hell on earth. usually when i have a particular story-related plothole or other problem i go complain to you my bestest friend sara bc you always have the best ways to fix things but if its bullshit like grammar or lore i dont know or character fuckery its just. hell

26: What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

im adhd i dont need outside distractions i can distract myself perfectly fine, but if i say 'oh this week i wanna Buckle Down and Write' then usually the distractions will be flight rising, minecraft, now stardew valley, other video games, other hobbies like sewing or art, tumblr, reading, youtube, and school

i will literally stop writing to stare at nothing tho so like. who needs all those other distractions

[fatal-rewrites-warriors]

midnight chapter 7

kinda too coincidental that storm and feather were RIGHT THERE when bramble pulled his soggy ass out of the river but alright

actually it is fucking stupid that only bramble got the dream about the ocean. starclan be like "we're going to make it as hard as possible for you to convince the journey cats to leave by only giving one of you the second dream"

like it doesnt make sense! it's just a fucking dick move

I'm laughing about how bramble is like "if we cant convince crowpaw we might fail the prophecy" like it's a fucking test

crowpaw has a fucking point man like why would only one of them get the dream its judt lslkfjgjf fuck man

Tawnypelt is fun I like how down to earth she is

chapter 8

the fire tiger omen is so fucking stupid I want to scream

I'm fucking furious why would they send THIS omen to cinderpelt when you wont send the other prophecy fuck you fuck you fuck you you're just making this harder for no fucking reason!!!

NO OTHER CLAN GOT AN OMEN ABOUT THEIR JOURNEY CATS EITHER FUCK THIS

[diningpageantry]

Drunk Text

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43179500

Chapter 4/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 2002

Chapter Summary: Baz's friends get him a little drunk, which scares Simon half to death. Cue nervous spamming, best friend's advice, and a single picture.

BAZ

(strings_n_roses): gods.mistake: i dont know i guess im just scared of losing her family's attention???

My eyes scan over his text in the drop down, thumb pressing onto the screen to keep it half-showing. It's probably not a good idea to be talking to him about this right at this second, but I don't want him to feel abandoned (especially given our topic). The tiny graphic of the Instagram logo looms in the forefront of my mind even after I close my phone, thinking of a response.

A hard lemonade bottle rolls and rests against my thigh, making me look up at Dev as he pops open another. Despite calling them a “Gay drink”, he's already gone through two of them.

“Oy, you've barely had shit,” he says, twisting off the top of his third as he eyes my one half-empty bottle.

“Yeah,” Niall adds, eyebrows narrowing as he lifts his own drink. He bought an even shittier wine cooler. “Loosen up a little, you wound up dick.”

Reluctantly, I bring my bottle to my lips and swing, maintaining eye constant with Niall. Even with a weird shiver in a response, he doesn't look away. Neither do I--not until the bottle is finished. With a pop of my lips, I lower the glass and smirk. “There--happy?”

“I… guess?” He says slowly. “You okay, mate? What's wrong?”

What's wrong? What's wrong? Snow's texting me from his bathroom, too tired from crying to get off the tile, and I can't help him in any other way than to talk to him. That's what's wrong. “It's nothing. Just shit. That's all.”

Dev's foot nudges mine, making me disconcerted with their mutual care for my emotions. Usually, they just let me sulk, but tonight… tonight's odd. They're boozing me up and getting me to talk (for once).

I turn my head head away, looking towards the long, creaking window of mine. It nearly brushes the floor, and looks out upon the broad, rise and fall of our garden. The winter season leaves it beyond chilling.

“Can you open that?” I ask, voice tired as I nod towards my cousin. He blinks at me at first before rising to his feet and drawing it open. With a hand on my bed frame, I haul myself upright and onto my feet before digging through my nightstand. In the back lies a pack of cigs and a lighter I snagged from Aunt Fi's flat.

Only Dev takes one when I offer, seating myself right on the ledge. Neither of them bat an eye, except Niall's concerned staring as I lean against the frame, striking the light.

“Fine, don't answer,” he mumbles, taking back a mouthful of his drink.

I let in a drag, feeling it burn the back of my throat as I slide out my phone. Both the boys sit silently, exchanging glances as I finally type back a semi-coherent response for Simon.

The already buzzing of my head from the nicotine doesn't fully help my thoughts as much as I hoped it would.

strings_n_roses: christmas is over now, so the holidays are gone. if she weighs heavily on you because of the break up, then it isn't healthy and definitely not a pain that you deserve

strings_n_roses: and i know she drives you home, but maybe someone on your team will drive you instead if you ask

strings_n_roses: there's options other than discomfort

I suck in, turning off my phone with the app left open. The sound of Niall's shifting is nearly enough to make me want to yell. Their collective concern is barely appreciated, given it seems to be so sparse when actually needed.

In all honesty, I shouldn't blame them. I'm not in school, and they're just trying to help when they can. still, I can't shake the emptiness of their situational devotion to my feelings.

“You've been acting odd,” Dev adds first, giving me another drink. I take it, finishing my cig first. Looking at the burning end of it, I hand it out the window and crush it against the stone of the wall, leaving the butt on the sill as I climb off.

The drink is always better when you start the second one. “Just life shit. Doesn't matter,” I say, leaning back against the wall as I exhale slowly. There it is. The odd, mostly empty stomach nausea I get whenever I get to drink. Hits me harder, and makes it stronger. And almost definitely going to fuck me over, but it's only a few drinks (and I'm a lightweight, because fuck genetics).

As my eyes fall shut, I feel the jostling buzz of my notifications. Without hesitation, I pick it up and read it through as more messages slide down.

(strings_n_roses): gods.mistake: i dont really have friends on the team to drive me

(strings_n_roses): gods.mistake: or really anyone, except penny and sort of agatha, i guess

(strings_n_roses): gods.mistake: and her dad. her dad loves me

(strings_n_roses): gods.mistake: fuck im a little lonely fucker sorry im a killjoy and you're probably doing something more interesting with your life and im just ranting like an idiot fuck sorry

I ignore both Dev and Niall's looks as I attentively swipe it open, head spinning. I barely pay attention to what I'm saying, trying to get a word in before he has a chance to belittle himself further.

strings_n_roses: don't apologise at all. im heer to yell towards

strings_n_roses: after all im judt drinking im not ewally doingmuch

SIMON

My heart nearly stops, throat catching as I reread.

He's drinking. Fuck.

Vision blurring and body weak, the process of pulling myself upright makes it a battle all in itself.

The bathroom floor is filthy, but it felt like home. One minute I was standing, washing my hands silently in the sink, then I met my eyes in the mirror and crumpled onto the old, ratty bathmat. I'd just cried, a quiet sob into my wrist as the details of the room overwhelmed me. The dripping of the sink, the burning of the lights. The fear of losing Penny because I've practically lost Agatha already.

I don't even know if I miss her. I don't know if I want to miss her. I miss her family at Christmas--this was the first year since moving here without me going to the Wellbeloves for the holidays. I know I miss the way we'd sit together in silence, shoulder to shoulder and watching Doctor Who, but I don't know if I miss us.

She'd told me today that I'm too much. It's been months since the break up, but she said she still had something to say. That something, apparently, is that my life's unnecessary overwhelming, and I don't make her happy.

I told her likewise to me, even if I didn't mean it.

Maybe I did. I don't know.

I don't know anything.

I don't know why Baz is drinking. He'd told me a month or so back that he does occasionally, but he usually refrains from drunk texting. Says he doesn't like waking up to messages he didn't mean to send. I wonder what's different tonight.

I wipe my eyes, sniffling as quietly as possible as my trembling fingers tap out a response.

gods.mistake: please drink water

gods.mistake: and limit yourself. dont drink too much fuck just slow down

gods.mistake: did you eat? make sure youre eating

gods.mistake: please dont do anything stupid just please dont hurt yourself

At first, he's silent. The read receipt pops up, then stays still. Something in me thumps, then grows in strength as I struggle to breathe evenly again.

I've seen it too often. Too fast--too soon. The spiraling, the life destruction. The kids a few years older than me stashing stolen pill bottles under beds and liquor in their pillow cases.

I don't want him to hurt like that, and I can feel it already. The biting edge of coping.

My hand slides through my hair, settling amongst tangled curls as I shake. A disappearing picture from him pops up, starling me slight before I exhale, opening it.

It's his hand, the flash on it as he holds a pint sized glass of water. I can recognize it from his pictures of violin playing, scattered throughout his damned aesthetic Instagram account. It's the only part of his body I can recognize, and I know it well. Smooth on the back, and calloused fingertips with sharp jutting angles of his joins. His skin is a midtone of soft brown, like the shade of a perfect cup of tea, and his palm fades much lighter. You can tell he's some posh arse, because his nails are always trimmed and buffed.

And there they are, holding a glass of water with a crudely drawn smiley face on the screen. The room is mostly dark around it, and I can only make out hardwood floor and a thick, red carpet.

(gods.mistake): strings_n_roses: i'm okay i promise! i'm a healthy boy

(gods.mistake): strings_n_roses: :)

(gods.mistake) strings_n_roses: i’m with friends rhey’re takint xare of me i promise i an ok!

gods.mistake: ok ok im sorry for freaking out im sorry

I chew on my nail, biting around to the cuticles as my eyes squeeze shut. I'm overreacting again. I'm blowing up.

I tap out of the app and pull of my messaging, pulling my one of few conversations--Penny.

im losing it right now penn

its so stupid and youre gonna hate me but im losing it fuck me fuck shit fuck fuck fuck

You've texted your last fuck, buddy

It's the swearing police

I've come to ask for a recount of why on Earth you're sobbing

its stupid its so stupid im sorry

its baz hes drinking

and i panicked and messaged him a ton but im worried i pissed him off and he might hate me what if he hates me

fuck shit fuck

Do you have any basis on him hating you???

Did he text you all angry???

no but i feel it im stupid and i know it i feel it

First of all, stop

Second of all, if he's not angry, he's not angry

Third, why does this matter so much? You barely know him

thats not true we talk everyday

He's online, Si

You can lose him in a snap, why care?

Why do you even trust him so much you don't know what he looks like ://

i know what his hands look like

thats something

and just idk i trust him he seems to care

and we like the same stuff and i just

idk

i trust him

why are you talking about this again now

i thought we were over this

I said I was tired of you talking about Baz at lunch, I didn't say we were over the conversation

I'm just worried, that's all

Fuck knows you don't have someone else to worry about you over this, and he could just be some arse praying on you because you're vulnerable

People do that, you know

hes not some 80 year old creep penn

he seems as young as he says

and he doesnt use me or anything we just talk

im ok im safe i swear

hes just scaring me

Just be safe, Simon.

Something makes me jump, and it takes a full moment to register that it's Davy knocking around downstairs, doing whatever he does in his study. I should be in bed. He knows I should be in bed. He'll want me to be asleep, after all.

I tiptoe out carefully, knowing where the floor doesn't creak as I slip back into my room and in bed. The blanket's shit and scratchy, but it's something.

As I plug my mobile in, I send out a quick message to Baz, letting my embarrassment ease through while I swallow my pride.

gods.mistake: im sorry for freaking out

gods.mistake: sleep tight pls

[nomaishuttle]

I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

[redrreign]

ugghghh i feel so pathetic all ive been drawing is like. front-facing pen sketches of ocs from the shoulders up. nothing fullbody no cool poses no coloring no digital no animation. im just so tired i dont know why i cant just Produce Art rn

[nomaishuttle]

if anybody was curious abt my first water relared near desrh experience that happened in florida the first time i went with my grannyy skayage not judt her like evryjody else too but she was there yk. i was gonna tell her i was trans but it was a whole thing and then me and my mom went home early so i could go 2 my first ever pride parade in lexington More like sexington! bc its awesome. but anyways. what was i saying. right so i got my period SUCKSS so i didnt get 2 swim much bc i was like. Im on my period im not gonna fucking swim in front of all these ppl and potentially BLEED? IN THE WATER? terrifying right. but anyways our airbnb was like right by the ocean so at nighttime i snuck out 💀 2 go sit in the water. and then i swam a bit WHICH I SHOULDNR HAVE DONE WHAT ON EARTH i couldve died. well rly truly i couldve died as you'll see in a moment. so like we had been there for a couple days and the first few days ppl were talking and they were like A Guy Died Here Last Week Bc A Fucking Sting Ray Stung Him And He Died. idr if it was from the sting ray or bc he like fell into the water bc of it and drowned whos 2 say..but ya so sting rays were on the mind. so im out swimming entirely alone on this beach right. having a party giggling. i sit up for a second i look behind me. like 5 dark splotches swimming towards me in the water. IT WAS STINGRAYS !!! i have never run so fuckjng fast i was trying not 2 scream bc i didnt wanna get in trouble 4 being at the beach at like 11pm. so i just ran all the way back to the airbnb and went 2 bed lol.