#ITS A LOT TO TAKE IN BUT I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE....
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Hello! I love your work and I admit it's really fun to read! Besides the spicy parts I love it has a story! Speaking of a story, I really liked your reblog about the plant(venus?) and the girl with short hair and I was wondering if you could tell us their story? Spiciness included ❤️
Not sure if you wanna hear my ideas about it but I'll just mention that smell is a powerful weapon and once the bud closes, the plant won't let you go easily without showing you the ultimate gratitude for your planter skills in the arboretum (I hope that's the right word for tree crown center area. Or plant center if trees are off the options)
Hi there! Thank you so much, means a lot! <3 For everyone wondering, she means this art piece.
Plant-trapped
Plant-monster x witch fem!reader || sex pollen, smell kink (?), tentacles (vines)
You had what witches called green aura, but humans simply referred to green thumb. You had your way with plants and that’s why you were the one in charge of taking care of the coven’s botanic garden. You loved your job there, you spent most of the time alone, surrounded by plants, and you could just enjoy the quiet and the nice smell of all the flowers. It was amazing.
But sometimes you forgot not all plants in the garden were harmless. Not all of them were non-sentient… Some of them had a bit of a thing for witches like yourself…
And you fell right into its trap.
You thought you knew everything you needed to know about the plant and its properties, but at that moment, you couldn’t remember any of it. You couldn’t remember how to get out, what did it take to get it to release you. It was like your brain turned into a white space and you couldn’t remember your own name.
You leaned in to smell its intoxicating smell and that’s how it got you. And the smell only became more and more mind blowing the longer you breathed it in. Your brain was fuzzy and your body became hotter and hotter, your insides trembling as your pussy started to tingle. You groaned as the big monstrous petals closed around your body like an embrace. And when the vines reached your body, you didn’t even care.
Your clothes disappeared with the secretions of the monster-plant, destroying the fibers and leaving an oily feel on your skin that only amplified the overstimulation of your senses. You couldn’t smell anything that wasn’t the monster. You couldn’t touch anything that wasn’t part of its body and its vines were caressing and touching every part of you accessible. You were groaning and moaning, your body pliant under its ministrations as your juices ran down your legs.
It was intoxicating and exciting, and when the first vine probed your hole, you cried out in pleasure when the most intense wave of desire ran through your body. You were drenched in your own juices, but the monster-plant added some of its salve to lubricate you further, making you slippery as the vine entered your dripping cunt. You moaned, and you felt like something broke inside your brain, like a dam was destroyed.
“Such a good witch,” a voice spoke right inside your brain.
Deep down you knew the plant talking to you was unlikely, but at that moment you couldn’t figure out if it was real or just part of the illusion created by the sex pollen. But you didn’t care. You only cared about the vines groping your body and the ones inside of you, touching and reaching parts you didn’t know could even feel that good.
It fucked in and out of you, the vines latching to your G-spot like suckers as little tentacle-like vines rubbed your thighs and clit. It was like the best enchanted sex toy you ever tried, and it was driving you insane with pleasure. You cried and moaned, you screamed and groaned… It was ecstasy in its purest form, and you couldn’t form coherent thoughts outside more.
Your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, and your eyes were blinded for half a second, the pleasure so bright and high you couldn’t see. Couldn’t hear. Couldn’t feel anything apart from the brain melting pleasure running down your body as the plant took all you had and some more.
“You did good, little witch. Your offering was accepted,” the voice inside your head said as the monster-plant released your body to the ground, completely sated.
#plant-monster#plant-monster x reader#plant-monster x you#witch reader#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#teratophillia#monster x reader#monster x human#terato#monster boyfriend#monster fuqqer#monster kink#monster love#monster lover#monster romance#monster smut#monster x you#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft#request
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hello can you do n. 30. "you own my heart" with Dino, but with a context..? (if you want) so the reader is a singer but also a director/producer and she directed Dino's mv video/or movie and they spent a lot of time together and got feelings for each other. thanks
of course i can :) thank you of course for requesting, hopefully you will like it! 💜
fluff prompt: 'you own my heart.'
dino doesn't get attached. there are so many people that come and go with the course of his job, it makes no sense to open up your heart for someone who's going to leave anyways. throughout the years dino worked out the wholy technique of talking a lot without really saying anything, of being friendly and polite without letting someone come close, of holding people at the distance without them feeling/knowing it. dino, not humbly, thinks he's amazing at it. or he was amazing at it until you came along.
'last day on set!' someone cheers. 'finally this project is on its finish line!'
normally he'd be happy too. he loves his job, he does, but he is usually immensely satisfied when they can wrap up any project. not this time though. he glances at the back, his eyes immediately find your lonely figure as you go over the script again and again. he's trying to be subtle with his looking, of course; there are so many eyes on him, he doesn't want to start any stupid rumors that can hurt any of you. but he also can't stop looking, because this is the last day of him seeing you. after today you will leave on another project with another people and dino will just... stay. with his stupid heart that somehow decided to break all rules and fall into you. he will stay all alone, because you will leave without looking back, just like others before you did. dino wonders if he's brave enough to break the cycle.
'dino, on the position, we're starting!'
last days are always emotional and they always end up in some cozy dinner place, with drinks being shared along with hugs and teary words. dino's been watching you like a hawk this whole time, catching your eyes more and more until you not subtly point to the balcony. his heart is beating too fast for it to be normal, when he pushes the door and lets warm sea breeze welcome him. you're staring at him with a small smile, looking all flushed and pretty. 'dino, hi. sorry for pulling you out like this, but i think we need to say proper goodbye to each other without the whole crowd, you know?'
he knows. he also knows that he doesn't want to say goodbye to you, not now, not ever if he can help it. still, he's a professional, so he answers with: 'yeah, i thought so too. this project, making it with you was great, honestly. i'm very thankful.'
he's sincere and you can feel it, he knows. your smile grows wider and your cheeks if possible grow even pinkier and oh, he can't stop himself now. dino gives you compliment after compliment, watches with adoration as you start refusing them, shaking your head, laughing happily. god, he can't lose this, he can't lose you.
'you own my heart,' he blurts out, taking your hand in his. you freeze, blinking at him with wide eyes, but your hand trembles his, when you squeeze it. this has to mean something, right?
'oh, dino,' you let out quietly, tears sparkling in your eyes. 'i-'
'this does not have to be a goodbye,' he says, hoping he's conveying his message clearly. 'i don't want it to be a goodbye. not for me and you.'
you take a deep breath and when you exhale, your gaze is sharp and your hand is no longer trembling. 'okay.'
'okay?' dino asks, unsure.
you laugh a little, nodding. 'okay. i also don't want this to be a goodbye.'
dino doesn't kiss you because everyone would be able to see. he does, however, pull you into a hug far more intimate than the ones he gave others and presses his lips into your ear like a promise: 'not a goodbye, then. it's a 'see you soon'. very soon.'
a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini
#hope this is what you meant?#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#seventeen reaction#lee chan#seventeen dino#svt dino#seventeen dino x reader#dino x reader#svt dino x reader#lee chan imagine#lee chan seventeen#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#dino fluff#seventeen prompt
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So like weird question but.. who can you worship Greek gods and the Christian God or Jesus and Yarylo?? It makes no sense to be honest. Those gods are from completely DIFFERENT religions.
Hi there, sunshine! ☀️
To answer your question in its simplest form, I believe it's because I do not and never have gone to church. I combine pagan practices with Folk Catholicism, in which the centre of the faith is based around the home and hearth instead of the church.
Personally, I find the concepts and philosophies of paganism and Catholicism very compatible and easy to blend. As Catholicism is the earliest form of Christianity (and I believe the truest), I believe it has pagan roots. It grew directly out of the pagan era. Taking the church out out of the practice makes those origins more apparent, to me at least.
Not that I'm saying Catholicism is a pagan faith, simply that it is the closest branch of Christianity to paganism, both in practice and chronology. This helps bridge the divide that has grown between the faiths over the millennia.
Deities also fill different roles depending on their domains. Yarylo, for example, is a domestic deity. I pray to him for matters regarding my home, family, and the prosperity and protection of my household. Jesus, on the other hand, fills the role of a teacher in my practice. He is my saviour and covers me with his Blood, and I tend to pray to him for guidance through life.
As for the practical considerations, I simply incorporate elements of worship from both paganism and Catholicism. For example, I might do a pagan style ritual at my altar with incense, offerings, etc, and say a traditionally Catholic prayer. I base a lot of what I do in historically accurate practice (mostly Hellenic) and traditional Catholic practice, and take what I like from each, creating a sort of hybrid.
I hope I've covered some of the basics here and answered your question well. Thank you for asking! Feel free to send more asks my way if you would like.
Khaire! ☀️
#asks#answered asks#pagan#paganism#christopagan#christopaganism#folk catholic#folk catholicism#slavic pagan#slavic paganism#polytheism#polytheist#jesus christ#yarylo#jarilo#helpol#hellenic pagan#hellenic paganism
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okay i really need spoiler for this
When will jess stop shiping Ogmc and ml?
And will ml tell him about his though? It's just bothering me for a while now im at ch140 and nothing seems like improving between mc and ml
(Not cris making fun of cedie its so funny but now i can't take it anymore😭)
I'm not sure if this is the answer you're looking for, because to answer it would mean to first and foremost analyze the character of Jung Yeseo haha. TWSB, unexpectedly, is so much more if you look past the veneer of silliness and comedy, and it intentionally does that at the beginning of the story to lure you into a false kinda sense of security, but also because of how Yeseo, as a character, influences the narrative voice and atmosphere of the story.
I'd like to first of all point out that a large part of why Jung Yeseo is so fixated on Christelle and Cédric's relationship stems primarily because of his sister and the original novel. Subconsciously, as well as very consciously yet deeply buried within him in a sort of self-preservation tactic, Yeseo is very aware of the fact that his life has been transported into a novel. While he doesn't display it in every chapter, he is also HEAVILY plagued with homesickness and a yearning to return back to his siblings. In his mind, the universe being a Rofan means that the World naturally revolves around Christelle and Cédric, and thus they're blossoming "romance". The story cannot be completed if they do not get together—and them getting together is also important, because above all else, this is JUNG EUNSEO's favourite story, and a part of Yeseo knows this very well, and his sister's beloved story isn't exactly something that he should meddle with. The characters' happiness is in a way tied to his sister's happiness (and there's kinda a lot to be said about this but anyhow I'll move on—)
In the initial parts of the story, Yeseo still has to fully come to terms either the fact that he's not /just/ in a novel, anymore. It is his current reality. But at the same time, it is blazingly obvious to him that there are also subtle outside forces that keep bringing him and the other protagonists together, so he resigns himself to the pull of "fate" and the "narrative", justifying it as such bc, well, he's in a novel.
Gradually, however, Yeseo DOES, in fact, get to know these "characters" better, and thus, sees them as their own people, separate from the fictional archetypes that he's only heard a bit about from his sister—whose words are rule, since they were literally the only point of reference for Yeseo who has never read a single word of QPB. As Yeseo grows closer with both Cédric and Christelle, he grows to learn more about them, and their personalities, and their traumas, worries, dreams, ambitions.....
"Cédric Riester" and "Christelle de Sarnez" no longer remain as "characters" to him, but real-life people whom he loves, cares, and worries about. Through all their struggles, trials, an adventures, they grow an indescribable bond that brings them closer than ever. Yeseo cares about them, worries about their future, and above all else, wishes for their HAPPINESS. The happiness is a big thing here, because Yeseo, also, is distantly aware of the constantly overhanging fruit that is:
HE DOES NOT BELONG THERE.
No matter how close he becomes with the people of QPB, there is nothing that could ever change the fact that at the end of the day, his ultimate goal has always been "return home to my family". Even when he loves his friends dearly, he will always and forever want to be with his siblings, and a big part of the story is Jung Yeseo coming to terms with his love for his siblings is both his driving force AS WELL AS the very thing holding him back.
In a way, you can interpret Yeseo constantly hoping for Christelle and Cédric to get together as his way of reassuring himself that, when he leaves them, they would at the very least have each other to rely on. Throughout the story, Yeseo expresses several times concern over Cédric and his future, hoping whenever he can that when Cédric ascends as Emperor of Riester (presumably, once Yeseo leaves to go back to his family), Cédric would have an entourage of people who genuinely care for and support him, even if Yeseo is not there. He does this with looking at the people around them and wondering how they might fit into Cédric's support net. Élisabeth as his bestfriend and future head of the Imperial Guard; Johann as a Cardinal Holy Knight and his teacher. Jibril Diop as a combat mage and a surprising fit for a future Prime Minister, etc etc. And naturally, Christelle as his Political Companion, and hopefully, just a close partner in general, whether it be romantic or not at all. Christelle and Cédric are most often his targets of "shipping" because they are just, plain and simple, his closest companions in that world who he worries about the absolute most, and who just so happened to have been a couple in another world. To Yeseo, that's enough of a reassurance that they will support each other, be there for each other, open up and be their rock and hill—even long after he is gone.
Of course, thankfully, this dilemma of "belonging and not belonging" and choosing one family over the other gets resolved masterfully by the author, so in the end, these worries of Yeseo are finalized in a way that makes you feel content with the outcome of everything. Both he and the readers no longer worry about leaving anyone behind. They managed to fight against the forces of the narrative and stay together. In the end, that's all that matters—Yeseo reunited with his siblings. Yeseo, Cédric, and Christelle get to stay together. It doesn't truly matter in what way, only that it was POSSIBLE, and that they fought tooth and nail for it to BE possible.
So yeah, haha, Yeseo will continue having these small delusions of them getting together (defence and coping mechanisms disguised as recurring gags), but he does come to realize that his friends are MORE than just their original character settings. But it doesn't stop him from hoping that they all genuinely find happiness—and he also realizes, eventually, that both Cédric and Christelle's happiness involves him, too.
Please do not worry. The character and relationship development in TWSB is truly masterfully written. I understand that it might appear slow to some readers, but in the end, when you reach that final chapter of the main story and look back at where it all started, you truly realize just how far all of these characters have come and how they've changed. TWSB is the kind of story that you cannot just take at face value, even if it initially presents itself as a simple, comedic, feel-good healing novel. It's so much more than that, and the first 100 chapters are really only dipping your toes into what it has to offer. Things start picking up when it gets to the real core of the story, but it must first go through the foreshadowing foundations disguised as silly inconspicuous things.
But anyhow, I hope this made sense haha... Jung Yeseo's shipping gag is truthfully more than just a gag when you analyze it closely in according to his goals and anxieties. I hope this was able to soothe some of your worries in any way!
#asks#twsb asks#twsb#twsb analysis#jung yeseo#jung yeseo analysis#this is my complexly written BLORBO hes honestly such a deceiving character#If you just look at him on a surface level hes silly and simple but there is just SO MUCH MORE to him than that 🥹
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Hi, I'm kind of sending this to all the people I saw who write for demon slayer...so could you do a "What would it be like to be Obanai's adopted daughter and his apprentice"?
Obanai W/ a Tsuguko!Reader
Characters: Iguro Obanai Type: Platonic, Headcanons, Fem!reader implied?, Found Family
didn't explicitly make Obanai Reader's dad just because when you do the math he would've been 16 at the time of finding them but the relationship is still there
Warnings: none? spoilers maybe? tad bit angsty at the end...
even though this guy is mean and merciless he's not EVIL
bro is still human with human emotions, so when he finds a small helpless child (9-10) while out on a mission he's not just gonna leave them there
you kind of reminded him of himself
which is how he ended up taking you in
originally he was just going to bring you back to the city and let you go off wherever but you continued following him and he just couldn't get rid of you
and now he's stuck
your young impressionable mind soaked up his mannerisms like a sponge
without even being taught directly, you managed to make your way around swiftly and unnoticed, often times scaring the man who took you in
he acts annoyed by this but you're kind of growing on him and he's lwky impressed
any time he goes out he demands you stay in the estate, and not wanting to disappoint him you listen (Obanai is very much a hater of rule breakers)
you never actually got to see him in action, but once you were a tad bit older you found out his occupation (upon asking about the sword he carries) and decided you wanted to be just like him
so when he became a hashira and the test thingy came up you literally BEGGED him to let you take them
he would refuse without giving you any reason besides "because I said no" at first (because he has a soft spot for you and rather not put you in danger ever though he won't admit it)
butttttt after seeing your determination and catching you watching him train to practice later he finally decides to train you
he has this whole elaborate, harsh training regimen and he says if you can't pass it you won't be able to become a demon slayer
he's so mean throughout the whole thing...(its tough love)
despite his seemingly impossible to reach standards you end up succeeding yayyyy and you take the test thingy and don't die yayyyyyyy yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
#very proud Obanai moment (he won't say that though)
he continues training you and now you're officially his tsuguko cus yk...you're part of the corps now
he kind of distances himself from you in public, keeping an eye on you from afar
people don't even think you're his tsukugo and when you tell them that they're like WHAT (esp zenitsu...)
whenever you guys go on missions together he lets you hold your own but is quick to step in if anything goes wrong
the first time you accidentally call him dad (or any other familiar honorific of some sort) he literally stops in his tracks like "what did you just call me"
and you're like oops my bad..heh...
if you ever say it again he won't stop you (it actually means a lot to him)
originally he tried keeping you away from Mitsuri but she thinks your guys' dynamic is the cutest which made him stop actively trying to keep you away
will smack you upside the head or chase you around if you tease him for it later
that look he gave Tanjiro after he found out he got to spend time with Mitsuri during hashira training? yeah, he does that to every other slayer (especially male) who has ever interacted with you (but in a platonic, protective sense)
he watches as you climb the ranks and hopes for you to replace him as a hashira once he dies
he thinks you're a much better person than he is and much more deserving of the life you have, and he hopes that even once he's gone you'll continue to thrive
#kny obanai#kny#kny x reader#hashira#demon slayer#mitsuri kanroji#demon slayer x reader#obanai iguro#demon slayer obanai#obanai x reader#kimetsu no yaiba#demonslayer#鬼滅の刃#demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba
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I don't think this Talk about tae queerbating comes from him beeing supportive. It comes from some people not liking how he mentioned/ talked about JK in chapter 2.
i agree that it was a little bit obvious that he purposfully was mentioning jk, but its makes sense since they were releasing at the same time.
I dont see any problem with this, since a lot of members who were putting music out around the same time were present in the others Promo (tiktoks, e.g. Just now hobi and Jin )
The only moment which i wasnt the biggest fan of, was tae congratulating JK and jm on their Nr. 1 on hot 100. This was so long after after they got it to be 100% without ulerior motive. I get that he is a Artist and that is his Work and that he has his own goals, but i wish he didnt say it like that
I'm sorry but this is a disingenuous and context-free take on what happened with the Hot100 congratulations.
I had to look it up because I couldn't find what you meant at first.
I found it in the end. Layover release date appearance on Melon Radio's Hybe Labels show episode 34:
https://x.com/seokjinbit/status/1700035006272569401?t=tezC_KS5utqz-G2FgwHjPw&s=19
That is the audio of him congratulating them.
Here's the Korean subs:
지민이와 전국 에는 빌보드 핫 101 위까지 하면서 많은 축하 를 받게 됐습니다. 이아!
Here's the English translation:
Jiminie and Jungkookie received a lot of congratulations when they reached number 1 on Billboard Hot 100. eeyaa.
This was 8th September 2023.
Jungkook hit Billboard hot100 with Seven on 24th July and Jimin earlier with Like Crazy on 8th April.
"so long after they got it" is actually just under a month and a half for Jungkook and 5 months after Jimin. It's pretty dang close to Jungkook's hot100 #1.
(if he hadn't mentioned Jimin, we would be having a conversation about that instead because we're always on the lookout for ways in which Tae is wrong.)
But actually... to be super sure, let's see the full context of what he said. I found this video with a transcript but no audio:
youtube
Here's the pertinent bit in context:
This is the first time I'm releasing a solo album thus I became the last soloist of BTS. Until now, all the other members have released solo albums in their own styles, showcasing their charm and showcasing their own music. Wow! Jimin and Jungkook received congratulations when they topped the Billboard Hot100 chart.
So... his comment about them reaching Hot100 is perfectly in line with what he was talking about. He's gone solo, everybody else has gone solo, some of them got Hot100 number ones even. Where's the problem here? It completely explains why the congratulations happened at that time. It wasn't a live congratulations, it was a contextual one.
i agree that it was a little bit obvious that he purposfully was mentioning jk
So this overreaction to a very very very innocuous Tae comment and also this "purposefully" mentioning JK comment... Call me crazy but I feel like you aren't here in good faith.
Hope you're sending the same asks to Yoongi blogs for "purposefully" mentioning Jimin a lot and vice versa?
Tae is JK's closest member. JK is Tae's. Not even a debate. That's why Tae talks about him. It's why JK talks about Tae in HIS interviews. It's why Yoongi talks about Jimin and Jimin talks about Yoongi. Because it's how their life actually is.
Or is it only "purposefully" and with "ulterior motive" when Tae does it?
Finally, real people can't queerbait. Especially not in nations where there is limited power behind the queer voice. I'm gonna keep saying it. 👍
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I kind of get how it can be a trauma response, to lash out at anything that feels safe or comfortable because its unusual which makes it scary.
You're allowed to be safe though. You dont have to antagonise everyone who might be your ally to drive us away before we can hurt you. Most of us, many of us - i dont have statistics on this - dont want to hurt you and do our best to avoid it.
Womanhood is not defined by suffering. Transness is not defined by suffering. Its an aspect, sure, just as suffering is an aspect of being human. But its not the point. Its not necessary, its not the foundation stone. You dont have to cling to it. Let it go.
Idk if anyone who needs to hear this has got this far but just in case. Acting like a walking trauma reaction is hurting everyone. Its possible to heal. Dont you want to heal? Arent you exhausted? Take a tiny little chance that it might be safer than you thought and put your shit down. Or open some space and think about what it is you like about being trans, about being a woman, of holding any identity that you find painful. What draws you to it? What do you want it to look like?
Ill go first. I love my voice. When it started properly breaking my first feeling was relief. I get to sound warm and rumbly and comforting now. Is that what I like about being trans or about being a guy? Idk, both maybe. I like that I get to define things for myself outside of imposed expectations. Ok your turn. Name one thing. Start building a sense of self around joy and contentment or at the very least, not pain. Start building yourself into someone who wants to live and can enjoy living. Its always possible.
And yeah maybe Im shouting compassion into the void but I hope someone somewhere is listening, that I might influence them a tiny bit make their life a little better. If someone is plain nasty to me I wont engage.
And yes people who are so caught up in their fear and pain and making up lies where theyre the victim - on the one hand, its a defence mechanism, I get it. On the other hand, its hurtful, and its extremely rude and also ludicrous. Like who is this crowd of cis women running to transmasc's defence everywhere? Cis women are weird and entitled with us. They know they have cis privilege over us. They act like the fact we started as the same sex gives them rights to be invasive "because we're all just girls". Cis women are less privileged than cis men but theyre second on that food chain, theyre cis. And sometimes they enjoy holding power over someone else for a change.
Which is to say, if youre lashing out at everyone because youre scared, you need to get yourself under control. Youre hurting people who dont deserve it. You need help, in the most genuine of meanings. You need to be able to function healthily as part of society, and yes theres a lot of transphobes out there, but most people dont carr one way or the other. Your overwhelming fear is not of equal size to the danger, which does exist, but is not all-encompassing of everything forever.
For everyones sake including your own: life can be better. Please work towards it being better. Get your shit together and let yourself be helped.
you’ll see a trans boy be like “i dont personally have the power to oppress you” and then later the same day 3 of their little trans boy friends will start calling you out for making the first trans boy cry so hard he almost died (by disagreeing with him) and then all the cis women in the space will instantly side with the fragile little boys against the scary big [t-slur] who uses intimidating words like “transmisogyny” and thats how the whisper network against you starts, leading to far reaching professional and social consequences that never leave you
This didn’t happen.
Not this way, at least. All marginalized people are at all times at risk of being canceled unfairly. Their marginalization tends to play a major part in that, obviously. Trans women get hit with it a lot and that fucking sucks, and some transmascs are in TERF-y circles and can theoretically use that against transfems should they feel the need to.
This that I’m quoting, however, is a fantasy. It’s a page from a dream journal. People are giddily imagining things like this happening because they live in a world where trans women are feared and have their reputations ruined by lies, and they want to exploit that for their own benefit. The best way of doing this is putting themselves above other trans people, because cis people don’t give enough of a fuck to care or get involved with these bullshit arguments, but if you whine about other marganalized people they will actually be affected by it and forced into the conversation you created out of thin air. It’s not so much a victimization complex as it is a death cult fascination with the misery of transfemininity identical to the TERF obsession with fymyl suffering, defining ‘trans woman’ as 'the thing that feels pain always and forever.’
It’s disgusting and I can’t imagine identifying with such a sniveling and pathetic vision of what being a trans woman is like. It’s so undignified it makes my skin crawl. It’s embarrassing. There’s nothing in this crying little effigy covered in pins and needles I can relate to. I can’t tell if these people need more self-esteem or less. I’m so fucking tired of this wounded gazelle shit.
But for the TRF, transfemininity is all about the abuse. Just look at the beyond absurd assertion, made over and over again, that trans women are maliciously called the t-slur by other trans people. That’s just. No? No. But in claiming that the t-slur can only ever refer to trans women, and that transfeminine suffering takes priority above all else because everyone forever at all times hates trans women more than anyone else, it again becomes necessary to construct this false vision of intercommunity dynamics where “scary big t-slur” is a stereotype that exists within the community in the first place, and which trans men are constantly using against trans women.
It’s just so blatantly selfish for one to act like a transfeminist when all one does every single day is bitch about other trans people. We’re all about to get fucked harder than ever and there are people who profess to sincerely believe they’re fighting the revolution by making up lies about their siblings. I’m easily triggered by transphobia outside of the community and yet even I manage to engage with actual transphobes and make them considerably less transphobic, yet people who don’t even know enough about what TERFs believe to understand they hate men too will fritter the day away on how they could theoretically be canceled if they did something bad ,and wouldn’t that be the worst thing ever? Oh, what if I broke up with someone and our mutual friends believed I was the jerk, because that’s a situation that exclusively happens to poor helpwess twans women and the mere suggestion I could possibly be a jerk in the first place is unthinkable? Hate to keep saying this, but trans women are being actually murdered and this obsessive fixation on “social murder” within the trans community exists purely to spice things up with a feeling of danger because the spaces we’ve managed to carve out for ourselves are otherwise a little too safe and it feels more authentic to the Laura Palmer Ultimate Victim narrative. Massively popular transfems with over ten thousand followers will happily sic them on people for the most upsettingly asinine reasons and then cry-type about how they’re the underdogs in every possible social situation.
But most obnoxious of all is the implication here that, because this can only happen to trans women, gossip and slander does not happen to other trans people, or other marginalized people in general.
That’s fucked, considering how much this discourse has attacked specific targets. It’s most maddening to see that “the coiner of the word transandrophobia has dykebreaking+detransitioning-of-transfems kink” has evolved to “most people who believe in transandrophobia have those kinks” because I constantly see TERFs making huge compilations of transfem blogs engaging in cis dykebreaking kink from the dom perspective. Just transfem dom blog after transfem dom blog enthusiastically into cis dykebreaking, which TERFs use to paint us in a way that fits their narrative.
Literally the only example they can ever give of a transandrophobia-connected person* being a dom for dykebreaking with transfem subs is someone who was being paid by a transfem. Detrans kink is overwhelmingly non-transfems, but almost exclusively as subs to either transfems or cis men, and those transfems aren’t getting paid for it, they actually are just in it for the love of the game. There’s nothing wrong with that, but people want to act like there is when it’s anyone else, and that’s not only weird but also setting up a bear trap to step in later.
Which gets to the point that, hey, wow, I’ve noticed a lot of cis women in particular who self-identify as TME are super into anti-shipping. You cannot possibly imagine you’re safe for trans women if your big issue with trans men articulating their oppression is “they masturbate evilly.” Popular transfem blogs will talk at length about how you shouldn’t judge transfems for their kinks but cis women are so eager to kinkshame transmascs that they not only make shit up out of thin air, but specifically copy and paste kinks almost entirely made up of transfems onto transmascs. Someday very soon a TERF is going to show them it’s much more convenient to be a general transphobe and not make special exceptions for the ones that use the same pronouns as you. They’re going to show your anti-ship cis lesbian friend one of those transfem dykebreaking blog compilations and she’ll take Trans Rights Are Human Rights out of her bio within the hour.
Like, even if you didn’t care about being monstrously inhumane to others, all of this is so against transfem self-interests in the long run, but people who consider themselves the most transfeminist transfeminists there are, of a radical nature, one might say, care more about notes than helping anyone, least of all the transfems they’re feeding into a grinder of paranoia and isolation. Especially the isolation.
It’s a little hard to take it seriously when I get accused of calling all trans women groomers for thinking it’s bad when people talk about “curing” other trans women’s “comphet,” how “TMEs” are obligated to bottom for them to compensate for transmisogyny, and writing long treatises on why it’s one’s moral responsibility to throw forcefem kink at random men because they may like it. Like, am I saying trans women are groomers, or am I saying some people use being members of a marginalized community to be kinna gross? People somehow find it in them to be angry at gay men who cross boundaries in spite of the messaging that they’re all sex abusers for the past two hundred years. Especially since 90% of the concern is for other trans women.Like, sorry, but I care enough about trans women that I’m going to say something if I think you’re putting them in a bad situation, and someone being a trans woman doesn’t make them immune to that. But oh, it does if you assume that this is all just common sense transfeminism, and I am in fact making this accusation of most trans women instead of an extremely niche group.
Never mind that in the screencap people use to accuse me of calling trans women “rapists” I was saying something a self-identified TME said was coercive, and whose identity as a Not a Trans Woman I explicitly noted.** Never mind that I’m the not the one telling people to name their blogs after the original transbian separatist group that famously fell apart after resulting in heavy sexual abuse. Never mind that I have said over and over again that TRFs act no more entitled to people’s bodies than lesbian TERFs who treat people they perceive as women the same way.
But I’m supposed to believe that those cis anti-shippers who post things like “every time someone says kinks are fine they’re just protecting predators in the LGBT community” is a great ally and I’m a traitor because they hate men and I don’t?
Sorry, no, not a traitor. A “pickme begging to be beaten to death with hammers.” Who’s probably not even actually a trans woman. Great transfeminism, yall. You’re really fighting transmisogyny.
It’s especially galling now that TRFs have taken to calling transandrophobia “reactionary,” the most bullshit possible way to call a group that includes a huge number of PoC, who they constantly accuse of tokenization, a pack of Nazis. What is transandrophobia reacting to? Bigotry? Golly gee, I guess so! Or maybe it’s “reacting” to transmisogyny as part of the completely absurd idea that trasnmascs steal everything from transfems. Like, yeah, sure girliepop, and we stole misogyny from cis women, right? Sorry you failed to not sound exactly like a TERF yet again but maybe try again tomorrow and you’ll finally earn not being called a radfem.
But isn’t it sooooo mean of me to compare a small amount of trans women to radfems? Like their oppressors? Well, first of all, they regularly refer to Jewish people as Nazis, discourse aside that they do that is simply a true fact which shows they indeed think it’s possible to justify comparisons like that, although in their case it’s just because it feels like getting off a sick burn and rhetorical W to go “ah, but what if this Jewish person…was a Nazi? Checkmate, Zionists.”
Secondly, for as much as TRFs want to claim TERFs only hate them, that’s simply not true and I have conclusively proven this with basic use of Tumblr’s search function and the tag “radblr.” Twice. If you believe they love transmascs and only want what’s best for them, congratulations dipshit, you fell for their propaganda so hard I’m surprised they haven’t managed to convince you you’re not a woman. Or is it only an obvious lie when it’s about you?
Most annoyingly, just on a personal level, is the way TRFs get pissed off at non-transfem feminine AMAB people for daring to exist. The idea that femboy is a slur for trans women would be laughable if it weren’t grotesque in it’s ignorance. The things I’ve read people say about how transmisogynistic it is for an anime character to be a crossdressing man instead of a trans woman are just infuriatingly racist. Not everything is about you and it’s not actually a big deal if people talk about others once in blue moon.
The constant posts about how non-transfems are evil for not making more transfem headcanons, or for headcanoning the TRF’s favorite canonically male character wrong, are particularly childish. I can’t even go into MY favorite blorbo’s tag without seeing people call transmasc headcanons of him inferior literary analysis completely without irony, and every single time they shit like this, they do it while making up the most convoluted and nonsensical explanations for why the character can only be transfem instead, as though the hostility is defensiveness born out of their particular blorbo requiring a lot of creativity to headcanon that way, necessitating going to war to prove they can’t really be a man to assert it as The One Truth. Then they’ll complain until the fucking heat death of the universe about how everyone loves transmasc headcanons because of transmisogyny.
It’s the same unbearable on-sight hostility as when a TERF sees a child on the subway and goes home to type up a novel of a post on how he had the eyes of a future wife-beater, and it’s so irritating to see it spread from one corner to another. Literally, TRFs say that trans men will always turn on trans women and eventually detransition to wield their wymbnly power against us, and I’m expected to not see that as having severe hang-ups about people born into what they want to transition into and have denied to them by society’s transphobia?
What about the fact that they constantly mock AFAB trans people in ways specifically targeting that trait, calling non-binary people “theyfabs,” joking it’s easy to misgender trans men when they have large breasts, and reduce transmasc stereotypes to feminine “soft bois?” Like, yeah, okay, you’re not projecting any gaping insecurities you may have about assigned sex and gender roles when you say transmasc music is ukuleles and transfem music is heavy metal, next tell me about how transmascs all enjoy tea parties and transfems all go to football games.
But it’s not even mostly trans women who keep this shit alive in the first place. A higher percentage of total trans women on this site are into this framework, but the total number of non-transfem trans people and cis women so outweighs them in the first place that it cancels that out. Like, if x is higher than y, and x% of trans women on Tumblr agree but only y% of “TME” people do, that’s still a movement mostly consisting of “TME” people. The full separatist angle would very quickly reveal how little air it has to burn if trans women truly only had themselves to watch out for each other. Unfortunately, self-identified TMEs are much more likely to get TERFier rather than simply less TRF-y when the spell breaks and they realize how fucked up this shit is, while the people who’ve been batted at continue to exercise the patience of a saint and continue to fight for trans women anyway.
And that! Is what hurts! The most! The fact that people do not care about transmascs and in particular the ones who believe in transandrophobia are constantly tripping over themselves to defend and help trans women as much as they possibly can. I wish people saw that. I wish that mattered. It’s like watching a black hole suck up an endless font of goodwill and love. And then going “lol reactionary transandrobros hate trans women.”
That’s it, though, the great irony of it all is that if it were true, it’d never have become popular in the first place. It’s kept aloft by self-identified TMEs who are well-meaning if not especially good at critical thinking, except for the the contingent that are convinced trans men are all misogynistic because they personally are, or even outright seem to get gender euphoria from the idea they have male privilege. But for whatever reason, if “TME” folks didn’t care? The people making up elaborate tales of their potential (social) murder would have to find some other way to get attention.
I suggest throwing on a big red nose and joining a circus.
*and I specify “transandrophobia-connected” but you’d have a hard time rustling up transmasc doms in general from those scenes
**also, despite it being something I saw with my own eyes, I notably did not even feel it hit the level of needing to directly name someone as being who I was basing my assessment of sexual coercive behavior on as being sexually coercive, because I think it's much more a prevalent attitude of pressure in sexual contexts than individual behavior
#like. yeah.#its fragility#obv mot everyone can access therapy and stuff#trauma.isnt a get out of responsibility free card its just more.mandatory.homework#yeah it sucks its trauma#but the outcome of doing the work is you get to be happy and have a decent life#op yeah this is aggressive but youre also not wrong#comment#ugh do I want to delete/not posy#i already wrote it all so. ill just prrpare to maybe block people
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one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.
in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.
disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.
desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.
in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?
we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.
except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?
and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.
to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."
this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.
in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.
the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.
and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.
some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.
the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.
we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?
"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.
there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.
#does this make sense#to do be deleted probably yikes#(takes a swing at a wasp's nest)#like i think ppl have started to just be really quiet when they like something 'problematic'#and im like... u can be like -#girl tswift NEEDS to just TAKE A BUS . LIKE?????????????????????#while also being like.#''she's a lot of fun''#if ur personal policy is that u don't support her for that reason that's great#but it's like. eating meat???#like yeah some people won't bc the environment. but the fact i eat meat doesn't mean i hate the earth#like i can say that i think the meat industry is HORRIFIC and also downright cruel to its employees#but like. still enjoy a chicken nugget....#there are people who choose otherwise. it's okay . we are people. i make like no money. u probably don't either#us fighting about whether or not it's Right To Eat The Chicken Tender just distracts from like.#actually turning your ire on the corporation#i hope it's clear what i'm saying here is like. when we fight each other for Purity Reasons#we are just doing the work of corporations . for free. like they WANT us to be doing this lol#it's the fucking DREAM of the upperclass that now ALL forms of responsibility fall on the individual
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I will never love any interpretation of Ghost, Hollow and Hornet more than I love the interpretation of them being ultimately good, fighting for peace for everyone around them, caring deeply for Hallownest (or what remains of Hallownest at least) and caring deeply for each other and peace for their family at last.
I love kind Ghost.
Ghost who goes out of the way to gift flowers to lonely bugs.
Ghost who will rescue Zote whenever given the opportunity, without thanks or any form of reward.
Ghost who rescues grubs because they are trapped and crying to be freed.
Ghost who despite having limited ability of expression, will find some way to convey appreciation for others. (Sitting beside them. Listening to them talk or sing. Bowing out of respect.)
Ghost who is excited when in the company of good friends.
Ghost who spares the life of the nailsmith.
Ghost who mourns the loss of those fallen.
Ghost who eventually remembers their past, remembers being abandoned by their sibling, and still chooses to fight, to do everything that it takes, to free the hollow knight. To put an end to their suffering. To take Hollow's place, or to die.
There is no reward for this. There is nothing to gain. Ultimately Ghost is willing to suffer forever or to die in order to give others peace.
Ghost makes many many mistakes, and can make selfish or reckless decisions, but ultimately, Ghost is forgiving and loving.
I love Hollow who genuinely wants the people of Hallownest to be at peace. (Ironically just wanting that alone made it impossible for Hollow to grant them that peace.
But still, Hollow wants that.)
Hollow who loves Hallownest. Who loves their father and who loves his kingdom.
Hollow who is relentless in protecting it. Who would suffer for over a hundred years protecting whatever there is that can possibly be saved.
Hollow who has had the radiance influencing it all that time. The radiance who hates the king, who hates his people. Who tried to convince it to hate them to.
Hollow who loves them regardless.
Who feels empathy for everyone. Who understands their suffering more than anyone and wants nothing more than for them to have peace.
Hollow who, after finally being freed, chooses to live a kind life. To be understanding and gentle.
Who has every right to be bitter and angry and closed off, but who, after finally receiving the opportunity to live, to actually live, chooses to find everything good left in the world that they fought so hard for.
Hollow who learns to love openly and to no longer be afraid.
Hollow who is eventually excited to be able to express love in small ways.
Hollow is stalwart and just. But kind.
Hornet who, despite everything that she went through, despite losing so much, nearly everything, continues to stand and to fight for life because it still matters to her.
Hornet who fights to honor those that she lost, especially her mother.
Hornet who is hesitant to be hopeful, but is hopeful anyway.
Hornet who is hesitant to form any friendships out of fear that she will lose them, But who longs for friendship, for family..
Hornet who is proud of her siblings, who loves them despite not wanting to, who feels guilt knowing that the fate of the kingdom must rely on them.
Hornet who will rush in to assist her siblings in their final battle, knowing that she may very well die.
Hornet who, after given the opportunity to be with her siblings again, wants nothing more than to help them heal. For them all to heal.
Hornet who loves and is loved in return.
Ghost and Hollow who love, and are loved in return.
A little broken family that understands each other, understands that nothing that happened to any of them was fair, and who forgive each other, who love each other because after all this time..
They finally can.
Not one of them is without their (sometimes severe) flaws. Not one of them isn't damaged after everything that has happened.
And still they choose love.
This quote by Mary Shelley captures my interpretations of the siblings perfectly.~
"Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it”
#I wrote this at 3 AM#No joke I woke up at 3 AM and somehow I ended up with this in my notes so I hope it makes sense#lol#I have been seeing a lot of different interpretations of each of these characters lately and I wanted to get mine out there i guess#It's interesting hearing other takes on these three.#But this is them#To me#its all about love for me guys#That's what's it's all about#hollow knight#hk hornet#hk ghost#hk thk#hk the knight#hk little ghost#hk the pure vessel#hk pv#hk thoughts
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It's so interesting how submissive House is to Wilson. In basically every scene where Wilson gives his 2 cents about a case, House without fail (for the most part) follows his opinion. Wilson gives him unsolicited advice and half the time he listens without saying anything, and the other half he argues but ends up listening to him anyway. House starts psychoanalysing Wilson and Wilson does it right back to him and House shuts the fuck up or gives a one line quip back at him (to have the last line) but knows deep down Wilson is right.
For a man of House's stature and how he interacts with Literally Everyone Else, the writers really hammer it into your soul that House only really listens to Wilson and no one else
#i only really started noticing this after the “i am in charge of our relationship” scene and LIKE#ITS TRUE!!! WILSON IS VERY MUCH IN CHARGE#hes wrangling his little scruffy stray kitten and hes doing his best#house cannot be controlled but wilson fucking tries and is the only one who succeeds sometimes#as for things like vicodin#i think house doesnt listen to wilson for that because its a coping mechanism#its his only solace that takes away a deeply traumatic incident that happened to him#it is the only bit of control he has over that incident#and hes not gonna just let go of it#and because he doesnt mind dying a little or a lot sometimes he wont just give it up bc its hurting him#hilson#house md#heph.txt#m super sleepy rn i hope my words make sense#n i hope my text posts arent starting to get annoying bc i have so many thoughts and every time it strikes me it goes on Tumblr
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Anyways XO Kitty love interests summarized
Dae
Min Ho
Yuri
#I finished it guys I have thoughts#pleasantly…. surprised I actually enjoyed it a lot?#like don’t get me wrong it was very cringe fail at times but in like an affectionate way in like an aw high school affectionate#bet y’all can’t tell by this post which my favorite LI was I bet y’all can’t guess take a guess#ranking wise Yuri>Min Ho>Dae#I am so sorry Dae is so aksjskw boringgg and like not even because he is a nice guy I love nice guys#he just didn’t have any personality whatsoever apart from chasing Kitty around and saying I can explain#they could have swelled more into him being a family guy but they just kinda didn’t and it was very meh overall#like min ho was an ass but kinda funny at times and had a whole character arc#yuri had a whole development too going full circle and growing as she faced different situations in the series#dae I feel like he started the same way he finished and I guess that makes sense for the plot showing Kitty needs something else but defo#makes him the weakest li. no criticism taken btw#SHUT ME UP ITS 4 AM AND I AM PSYCHOANALYSING A KIDS SHOW AKSJWKKW therapeutic#xo kitty#I hope this doesn’t offend anyone lol all /lh#dae#min ho#yuri
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Watch me compare this book that has nothing to do with saiki K to saiki K with the power of brain rot.
First of, if you absolutely massacre the main character's personality this book is totally kusbosai. Like just look at these:
This one I feel is just Saiki in general.
I just really like this line:
#my reading pace is so slow cuz every five seconds i have to stop and take a picture#i hope this makes sense#saiki no psi nan#the disastrous life of saiki k.#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki#saiki k#kubosai#<- kind of ive just been teading a lot of fanfics lately so maybe its just that but i feel like this is very kubosai if you ignore the mc#oh yeah and the book is#Slingshot by mercedes helnwein#and i think if anyone read the book they would probably think im insane but oh well
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Spider-Man India, but... where from India?
A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.
I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.
If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.
So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.
The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:
THE RESULTS
South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?
Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.
Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"
Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South
Context: I want to make art of the boy again
At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.
Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.
But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:
Where did Spider-Man India come from?
FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA
As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.
But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.
We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!
I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.
So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.
BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?
Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.
It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.
Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.
This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.
So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.
BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL
I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.
I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.
I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it.
You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.
It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.
AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA
He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!
“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?
“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.
Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:
Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?
... but why shouldn't i?
I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.
It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.
SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK
“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”
Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?
Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.
But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.
There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).
And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.
Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.
What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.
Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:
It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?
Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!
I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.
It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.
It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!
Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!
And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer.
So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.
We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.
THE POLL: REINTERPRETED
This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.
Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this.
So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”
(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)
*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting
#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely#BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY#THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK#genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless#put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well#you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour#and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before#because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from#bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level#think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!!#pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide#he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up#it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose#if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people#because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful#that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!!#anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#desi#desiblr#atsv#across the spiderverse#atsv pavitr#indian culture#india#desi tumblr#what the fuck do i tag this as#agnirambles
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Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.
Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.
Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.
But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.
We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.
All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.
I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?
I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us
#i got SO carried away LMAO#i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically#i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general.#but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this#you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol#he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him#when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment#so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was#my point still stands but so does everything else#you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was.#or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects.#u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind#anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#gorgug thistlespring#the ravening war#trw#colin provolone#zac oyama
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i did the blorbo bingo with edling :3
ramble / explanations for my writing under cut!
for ling:
most fandom takes are incorrect: maybe it’s just me but ive seen a decent amount of people make ling out to be a pervert or just reduce him to a stupid silly character. ling yao is NOT A PERVERT! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM! he would never even do HALF OF THE THINGS YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! and he is so far from just being a funny guy that makes the audience laugh. his motives and character as a whole are so incredibly strong and i’ve never been so fascinated with a character like ling yao. please give him more attention.
that also goes hand in hand w/ stop putting them in situations!!: he would not be looking up girls skirts or something 🙁 be kind to him i think he deserves the world also. the cast of fma consists of a bunch of 14-16 year olds who traveled across the world to fulfill what they feel is their destiny but they end up on a journey of pain and suffering instead. they are children they should be playing roblox and minecraft and brain rotting like me ……….. i need a 500 chapter fic of ling being happy and joyous and eating all the wonderful meat in amestris.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOT ENOUGH CANON / UNDERRATED: as much as i love greedling and understand the combo … i wish ling got more screentime alone separate from greed. he is really such an interesting and unique character with a banging design and sometimes i feel greed robbed him of his iconic features (his yellow jacket & sword) and people just forget that greedling exists because ling was strong enough to withstand the homunculus in his system + LING IS THE BODY!!! he is serving that facecard and body 24/7 because that’s all ling yao!!! i still do really like greedling because they have a lot of room for interaction but i feel like ling yao is one of the characters who is often forgotten when it comes to merch n whatnot. he’s not as much of a main character as ed of course but he is just forgotten!! he is really such a cool character i wish there was more of him everywhere
there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: yes. because he is me and i am him (not really). i just project onto him and he is just me at this point! i will forever be such a huge ling yao fan the first time i watched fmab i instantly got attached to him i am so happy he is alive. i hope being the king of the yao clan is treating him well though he didn’t look to happy in that one photo of him as emperor….. it’s a tough job so i get it man! i hope he explodes
for edling:
pretty privilege: they are both pretty. brotherhood art style is a bit inconsistent at times i feel but their designs are both so gorgeous (their colors complement one another!). and also the bloodhell episode. ling yao fighting envy with his cool sword and handsome face…. ed somehow still looking pretty despite all the traveling and fighting. they are pretty!!!
projection had entered the chat: well, yes! who doesn’t project onto their faves??? :p
don’t typically discuss irl because of fandom: more and more people nowadays seem to forget fma franchise as a whole 🙁 it makes me so sad because this series is so fire and i wish it would keep its popularity but it obviously makes sense that more relevant shows and animes will overtake its light. i’m also afraid most people don’t like edling (edling nation consists of like 10 people) so i just don’t really talk about fma irl at all! no one here has a Fullmetal heart..
everything else is just me wanting to bite them (lovingly) and stuff them in my pocket and hold them in the palm of my hands to show them off to the world. i do not actually want to plot their demise and i am not actively doing so. i would put them in a wood chipper in a loving manner
for ed:
has done nothing wrong: he’s innocent, your honor… everything he’s ever done has been for his family. he’s committed a huge taboo in the alchemy world by trying human transmutation but him and al just wanted their moms back. they were TOO YOUNG TO BE ORPHANS AND HAVE TO GROW UP WITHOUT THEIR MOTHERS LOVE! he ended up becoming a dog for the military but he had to do what he had to do to get closer to that philosopher stone… in 03 he did end up taking some lives too i think. he’s only 15 and never intended to Actually murder someone. seeing him after the greed scene is so incredibly heartbreaking. 03 and cos are such horrific renditions of fma (in a good way) and it makes me so sad to think that’s how he ended up??? he had so much hope as a little kid and was so full of life but by 18 he’s stranded from the last bit of family he knew and is left a depressed alcoholic who keeps losing people. edward elric has done nothing wrong..
there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: even from the outside HE IS SUCH A COOL CHARACTER. a character who canonical has prosthetic limbs is already so cool. knowing the story behind those limbs and his brother is so 🙁☹️☹️… his iconic red jacket!!! his LEATHER PANTS WITH HIS PLATFORM BOOTS? his striking gold eyes and bright blonde hair? how he wears his stupid pocket watch…. his dumbass belt… i love edward elric’s flamboyant style so much i’ve never seen a more bi-coded character ever. i love everything about his design and his personality is unlike most shonen anime protags and that adds to his charm. he is hot-headed and will bite your head off if you comment on his height or call him pipsqueak but he is still such a sharp and intelligent young man .. He is literally an Alchemy God…. he is so capable even at such a young age and carries himself so well because if i were him i would be breaking down crying every step of the way! he is dedicated and loyal to his cause of finding the philosophers stone to return their bodies back to normal and doesn’t even hinder once throughout the journey. he loves his brother dearly and it makes me so joyous to see a strong sibling relationship in this genre that isn’t Weird. Edward Elric is a fire character thank you for listening to my TedTalk
#hmm i wonder who my favorite fma characters are?#i haven’t watched 03 in its entirety but my boyfriend tells me a lot about it and it makes my heart hurt.#ed was just a little guy why did they MAKE HIM GO THROUGH SO MUCH.#i hope these takes aren’t too far-fetched?? i just wanted to talk about them more and some of this might not make sense because it’s 12am#i love ling yao#please more ling yao content#more edling#MORE EDLING!!!#i wish gay people were real#:/ yeah#i miss edling#i should write more edling things maybe#i hope they get married#i hate them so much#edward elric explode right now#edward elric#fullmetal alchemist#edling#fma#ling yao#fmab#fma fmab#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#edling nation#3irambles
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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