#No joke I woke up at 3 AM and somehow I ended up with this in my notes so I hope it makes sense

[littlebittyhollowbugs]

I will never love any interpretation of Ghost, Hollow and Hornet more than I love the interpretation of them being ultimately good, fighting for peace for everyone around them, caring deeply for Hallownest (or what remains of Hallownest at least) and caring deeply for each other and peace for their family at last.

I love kind Ghost.

Ghost who goes out of the way to gift flowers to lonely bugs.

Ghost who will rescue Zote whenever given the opportunity, without thanks or any form of reward.

Ghost who rescues grubs because they are trapped and crying to be freed.

Ghost who despite having limited ability of expression, will find some way to convey appreciation for others. (Sitting beside them. Listening to them talk or sing. Bowing out of respect.)

Ghost who is excited when in the company of good friends.

Ghost who spares the life of the nailsmith.

Ghost who mourns the loss of those fallen.

Ghost who eventually remembers their past, remembers being abandoned by their sibling, and still chooses to fight, to do everything that it takes, to free the hollow knight. To put an end to their suffering. To take Hollow's place, or to die.

There is no reward for this. There is nothing to gain. Ultimately Ghost is willing to suffer forever or to die in order to give others peace.

Ghost makes many many mistakes, and can make selfish or reckless decisions, but ultimately, Ghost is forgiving and loving.

I love Hollow who genuinely wants the people of Hallownest to be at peace. (Ironically just wanting that alone made it impossible for Hollow to grant them that peace.

But still, Hollow wants that.)

Hollow who loves Hallownest. Who loves their father and who loves his kingdom.

Hollow who is relentless in protecting it. Who would suffer for over a hundred years protecting whatever there is that can possibly be saved.

Hollow who has had the radiance influencing it all that time. The radiance who hates the king, who hates his people. Who tried to convince it to hate them to.

Hollow who loves them regardless.

Who feels empathy for everyone. Who understands their suffering more than anyone and wants nothing more than for them to have peace.

Hollow who, after finally being freed, chooses to live a kind life. To be understanding and gentle.

Who has every right to be bitter and angry and closed off, but who, after finally receiving the opportunity to live, to actually live, chooses to find everything good left in the world that they fought so hard for.

Hollow who learns to love openly and to no longer be afraid.

Hollow who is eventually excited to be able to express love in small ways.

Hollow is stalwart and just. But kind.

Hornet who, despite everything that she went through, despite losing so much, nearly everything, continues to stand and to fight for life because it still matters to her.

Hornet who fights to honor those that she lost, especially her mother.

Hornet who is hesitant to be hopeful, but is hopeful anyway.

Hornet who is hesitant to form any friendships out of fear that she will lose them, But who longs for friendship, for family..

Hornet who is proud of her siblings, who loves them despite not wanting to, who feels guilt knowing that the fate of the kingdom must rely on them.

Hornet who will rush in to assist her siblings in their final battle, knowing that she may very well die.

Hornet who, after given the opportunity to be with her siblings again, wants nothing more than to help them heal. For them all to heal.

Hornet who loves and is loved in return.

Ghost and Hollow who love, and are loved in return.

A little broken family that understands each other, understands that nothing that happened to any of them was fair, and who forgive each other, who love each other because after all this time..

They finally can.

Not one of them is without their (sometimes severe) flaws. Not one of them isn't damaged after everything that has happened.

And still they choose love.

This quote by Mary Shelley captures my interpretations of the siblings perfectly.~

"Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it”

[babydollmarauders]

OUT — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which everyone has been wondering about the hair tie on Jack’s wrist, and they finally get the answers they were looking for

notes: THANK YOU MADDY ( @thatintrovertedwriter ) FOR THIS IDEA!!! I’M OBSESSED WITH IT!! not proofread and written while heavily sleep deprived

a relationship was never part of my intentions when i accepted my job offer.

in fact, any sort of love was pushed to the far corners of my mind. my focus was on showing everyone that not only men can be equipment managers in the NHL.

i had gone through so much rejection. countless teams citing that they decided to go in a different direction, and hiring a male for the job instead; and though most of the staff would try to deny that my gender was a part of it, there was always that one guy that had no problem with admitting they didn’t believe that a woman had any place in the NHL.

as if the job was hard. as if i couldn’t hand players sticks just as well as any man could.

but then the New Jersey Devils came into play. they had heard some talk about me and were the first team to reach out to me. they offered me the job, and i eagerly accepted. i felt i had something to prove. my gender doesn’t diminish the performance of my job.

so most of the 2022-23 season, i put all my focus into my job. i was amicable with the players, making sure i knew any superstitions or things i shouldn’t do with their equipment, but i never let it pass into any real level of friendship.

and then Jack Hughes happened.

when he got injured and had to sit out for a few games, i was put in charge of keeping him company. for four games my job description changed from handing players new sticks, to babysitting a twenty-one year old, and i wasn’t happy in the slightest.

it felt insulting, and apparently Jack felt the same way. somehow in those four games, we went from sitting across the suite from each other, to bonding over how stupid it was that i couldn’t do my actual job, to forming a friendship.

and in a matter of weeks, our friendship blossomed into something more.

it started with him coming back to my apartment after rough games, watching movies and letting off steam by joking around and playing drinking games. then along the way, we stumbled into bed. one hookup turned into two, which turned into another, which turned into a date, and finally by the end of the season, he was asking me to be his girlfriend.

it took me a week to finally tell him yes. an entire week of struggling with the decision. wondering if, if i start a real relationship with this player, am i proving all those men who told me i had no place in the NHL, right? but ultimately, i decided that my happiness was worth more than someone’s opinion of me, and i told him yes.

***

jackhughes

liked by nicohischier, trevorzegras, and 150,599 others

jackhughes 3/3

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subbanator 🚀

user83 is he wearing… a pink hair tie on his wrist?

user45 where?

user83 it’s on the same wrist with his bracelets

user16 omg you’re right

user02 is his hair even long enough to put up?

user77 @/user02 apparently

user91 what if it’s a girlfriends? oh my god

brendan.brisson Same time next year

***

i’m running late.

i’m running late and i’m rushing.

i’m running late, i’m rushing, and i’m contemplating breaking all rules of the road to arrive to work on time.

nothing is going right for me today.

i was supposed to have the morning off, so i didn’t set an alarm, but then i woke up to find six missed calls from my boss and a text asking if i could come help get equipment ready for practice because one of the other equipment managers came down with the flu.

then, i had to deal with getting yelled at because i didn’t have my ringer on and therefore, woke up after practice ended and didn’t come in and help.

then, i tipped over my brand new bottle of cold brew and had to spend almost an hour mopping my kitchen floor and wiping down the counters to get rid of the stickiness.

then, at the last minute as i was stepping out the door to head to the arena, my hair tie broke. and now i’ve spent the last fifteen minutes scouring my apartment for a new one, only to come to the conclusion that i have to leave now or else risk being yelled at for a second time today.

i give up entirely on my search for a hair tie, accepting my fate of wearing my hair down and rushing out of my apartment so fast that i almost forget to lock up behind me.

when i finally make it to Prudential Center, i’m able to clock in just before i’d be considered late, and i have absolutely no extra time to search for my boyfriend amidst the chaos of the season opener.

instead, i set off straight to the equipment area, working in tandem with my colleagues to make sure every players gloves, pads, and everything in between is ready, before i put each players gear into their respective locker room stalls.

i stack pucks in a high pyramid at the bench, ready for warm-ups, and line sticks up against the glass behind the bench, all set to be handed out when needed.

amongst the frantic running around the arena and getting things ready, i lose track of how many times i’m adjusting my hair; flipping it over my shoulder and tugging it out of my face.

finally, i get a split second to breathe, pulling my hair up in a makeshift ponytail with my hands as i stand outside the locker room, on standby in case any of the players need me.

“hey.” i instinctively drop my hands at the sound of someone talking, my shirt falling back down to cover the sliver of my abdomen that had shown when they were raised.

at the sight of my boyfriend, i sigh in relief, his chuckle reaching my ears as his arms snake around my waist.

“i scare ya?” Jack teases.

his helmet hits against my back, as he holds it in one hand. he’s all geared up, ready to hit the ice for the first game of the season, and oddly enough, i can’t help finding it incredibly attractive.

“just a little.” i huff, and a wide grin spreads across his lips. i smack his chest, but all that it hurts is his padding. “don’t be mean! i’ve had a bad day.”

his smile drops into an exaggerated pout, and he leans down to press a kiss to my lips.

“i’m sorry, baby.” i hum in acknowledgment, waving it off when he asks if i’d like to rant.

“no, it’s okay. i’ll rant later.” i assure him. “after you win your game.”

“our game.” he states, and i roll my eyes.

he’s made sure to never let me forget how much work i put into the team’s equipment and gear. citing that they wouldn’t be able to win without my help.

in his eyes, it’s as much my wins and losses as it is his.

“right.” i nod, patting his shoulders. “in that case, i’m gonna be very upset if you lose our game.”

his head tips back, laughter pouring past his lips, and it sounds like a melody in my ears.

“i’m confident. we’ll win this game.” he assures me, finally letting go of my waist and backing up. “if we don’t, you and i will never hear the end of it from Larks.”

ahh yes, Dylan Larkin. the Red Wings captain and Jack’s friend, whom i met over the summer while visiting Jack at his lake house.

“go!” i shoo my boyfriend off as the rest of his teammates begin pouring out of the locker room, heading off to line up, ready to hit the ice for warm-ups.

waving to the guys, who smile back at me in return, i head out to behind the bench.

as the guys warm up, i double check the bench stock of smelling salts, tums, stick tape, skate blades, and whatever else the guys may need during the game, before standing idly by.

*

finally, the game is underway, seven minutes left in the second period, and my boyfriend has already gotten a penalty in first for ‘roughing’.

i’m watching my boyfriend skate around the ice as i tend to his teammates, anxiously holding my breath as the clock winds down.

Jack zips across the ice, and i’m gnawing at my lip as he gains control of the puck. but before i know it, he’s just scored his first goal of the season.

a small smile splays across my lips, attempting to contain my excitement as he skates past the bench, bumping fists with his elated teammates before taking another lap around the ice.

Luke turns his head to grin at me, but he’s sidetracked as i’m interrupted by a teammate.

“y/n, can i get some salts?” Timo asks, and i nod, spinning around to grab some, my hair whipping in my face as i do so.

i let out a frustrated groan, turning back around to hand the little packet of smelling salts to number 28.

“you okay?” Timo questions, his brows threading together and i nod.

“it’s my damn hair.” i huff as he moves down on the bench, making room for my boyfriend and his line mates who now join on the bench. “i usually wear it up, but my hair tie broke and it’s getting on my nerves.”

wordlessly, Jack absentmindedly sheds his gloves off, pulling something from his wrist before holding it out to me where i stand directly behind him.

my lips part in surprise as my eyes lock on the pink hair tie that’s pinched between his index finger and thumb.

my hair tie.

“oh.” i breathe out, plucking the hair tie from his grasp. i smile, immediately pulling my hair up into a high ponytail. “thank you, love.”

he turns his head just enough to spot me, beaming back at me for a moment before turning back to focus back on the game that’s about to restart.

i lean forward a little, my hand lightly resting against the padding on his back, but he must feel the slight pressure because he leans back a little to show me he’s listening to what i have to say next.

“congratulations, babe. i’m proud of you.” i speak lowly, only for him to hear, before i stand back again, as though the interaction never happened. both of us focusing back on the game that takes place in front of us.

***

***

Jack lays beside me in my bed, absentmindedly scrolling through his social media, nodding along as i rant about my day.

“…but seeing you in the box was a plus.” i finish off my long winded ramble, effectively gaining his attention back at my teasing.

he locks his phone, tossing it to the side as he looks over at me.

“what was that?” he asks mockingly, raising an eyebrow. but before i can repeat myself, his fingers are working against the bare skin of my stomach.

my abdomen tightens as i laugh, squirming and trying to get away from his touch.

“stop!” i cackle, attempting and failing to push his hands away as he tickles me.

“no, say that again!” he chuckles, maneuvering his body now to straddle my legs so that i can’t run away, even if i wanted to. i shake my head wildly. “say it again! what was that? i don’t think i heard you right! cause it sounded like you just said the highlight of your day was seeing me get penalties!”

“that’s not true!” i squeal and he momentarily ceases his attack, tilting his ear towards me as if he’s listening closer.

“i said they were just pluses.” i defend myself, quickly following up, “the highlight of my day was finding out you wear my hair tie on your wrist.”

he looks down at me with a smirk, obviously quite proud of himself.

“stole that from your apartment.” he announces with pride.

“when?” i laugh, reaching up to cup the back of his neck, pulling his face closer to mine.

his hands now rest on either side of my head, holding himself up.

“the second time we hooked up.” he murmurs, dipping down to press a kiss to my lips. “you had complained that day when you forgot you hair tie at home. i never wanted you to be uncomfortable again, so i took one when i left here that night.”

i blink back at him in surprise, my heart thumping loudly in my chest, whooshing in my ears.

“are you telling me, you’ve been wearing that hair tie on your wrist, for the past seven months, just in case i ever needed it?” i ask.

“mhm.” he hums, his nose nudging against mine as he nods, the corners of his lips quirking up in a soft smile.

“i’m so in love with you.” i whisper, pulling him down to capture his lips in a kiss.

his lips slot against mine, his tongue slipping in to tangle with mine in a deep and sultry kiss, before he pulls away.

“oh good, because apparently our interaction tonight on the bench?” he pauses and i furrow my brows, nodding for him to continue. “yeah, apparently that happened while the camera was on me.”

a gasp slips past my lips, and he cringes slightly, nodding his head.

“yeah, we’ve been outted.”

we both let that sink in for a moment, pondering what our relationship will be like now that everyone knows. fans certainly analyzing our every move now.

but despite that, we can finally go on dates in public, and post each other on our social medias without panicking that we may have accidentally posted on our public stories instead of our close friends ones.

“i think i can live with that.” i finally break the silence, and he grins.

“yeah?” he questions, pressing a kiss against my lips, and i nod against him.

“yeah.”

[meowuff]

This is my first actual post on Tumblr ever so pls bear with me. Also, English is not my first language so pls excuse any mistakes I make :)

So, this whole thing here started just as a joke bc I was curious if anyone else was feeling constantly tired all day no matter how long I sleep. But it all somehow escalated a bit and I may have started hyperfixating on it so well, now it actually became a little survey.

I also wanted to mention that I only asked the artist in my little Tumblr bubble, which is mostly tmnt content, so my results are mostly referring to tmnt artists.

In total, I asked 143 people if they could remember the last time they woke up and just felt actually rested for more than half of the day.

I probably could have been more specific with my question but again, I did not actually planned to let it become so big. Personally, for me being rested means, having a clear head, no headache or foggy mind without consuming any caffeine.

So out of 143 people, 100 answered me and I tried my best to sort all of the answers after the criteria “good-sleep-schedule” and “bad-sleep-schedule” and also noted when exactly they last felt actually rested into either the last days, weeks, months, years or “???” when they couldn’t remember or didn’t mention anything specific.

And let’s just say… it does not really look good. Out of 100 people, only 18 have an actual good sleep schedule. Out of these 18 people, 13 felt really rested in the last days, 2 in the last weeks, only one person in the last months and 2 in the last years.

Out of the 82 of people who have a bad sleep schedule, 10% lastly felt rested in the last days, 11% in the last weeks, 11% in the last months, 30% in the last years, and 38% couldn’t remember or didn’t specify it.

While reading all your answers I came to realize being sleep deprived is not just bc any of them thought “Oh it would be really neat to stay up till 4 am!” or smth like that.

A lot of the artists who answered me mentioned that they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to stuff like insomnia, chronic pain, other issues, or children (yeah, ok, there was just one who had a child but still).

While analyzing I mostly referred the situations to my own experience with going to sleep or rather not going to sleep...

I usually don’t have problems falling asleep but trouble actually putting my stuff away and going to bed bc I don’t want to end the day or just don’t want to go to sleep (don’t ask why, I have no idea why I am like this). While having these “episodes” I often doodle smth, binge reading some fanfics, or watch whatever I can find on the internet until I’m just falling asleep or can convince myself that it is 3 am and I really should go to bed now.

So, my personal theory about why sleep deprivation is so common among Tumblr artists is not bc they do art all night. My theory is that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep due to insomnia, pain, or other issues are filling the time until they hopefully fall asleep with their art, doodles, writings, or whatever their creative minds can bring up, to help the time pass.

In total that would mean that not all artists are sleep deprived but more that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep do a lot of art or creative stuff in general.

Something I could also imagine is, that if they start doing art while waiting for sleep, they start to concentrate a lot on creating more and start procrastinating sleep even if they actually get tired bc they wanna do art and fuck up their non-existing sleep schedule even more but that could also just be me projecting here.

I know that is probably no kind of big revelation but for me it was kind of surprising to see how many people here are as sleep deprived as me and due to what reasons.

I’m not going to preach to any of you to get that problem solved or smth, I have no right to tell you what to do and would be a major hypocrite so instead I really which everyone to get some kind of good sleep schedule one day and the joy of waking up and feeling completely rested at least thrice per week.

I absolutely love all your art and thank you a thousand times for helping me with this spontaneous survey!

I would love to hear your opinions on my theory and conclusion so pls don’t be shy and feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made or tell me your own theories :D

Also, if my question is still sitting in your inbox, feel free to answer! I’m gonna keep ma big ass excel table so I can edit all the results anytime. And maybe, one day, I'm gonna continue this survey and go into more detail but for now I need to leave it like this.

Ok, that's all I got

BYE!

Thanks to all participants

@abbeyofcyn @angelpuns @beannary @bulbabutt @camilieroart @cementgeek @cheesyescapade @cokowiii @easterartist @frosteaart @gemini-forest @happyfoxx-art @heckitall @hellishgayliath @holy-sweetsour-milk @icepopcider @idiot-mushroom @iscreamkitty @kovalitics @laseralligator @lieutenantbiscute @matchstique @mightyanxiety @miiukkaa @mr-doodles @pezhead @probably-not-a-rutabaga @pumpkster @sad-leon @sassatello @sewercrocodileart @sheep-turtles-and-pizza @signanothername @spectra-bear @stephuart @tangledinink @tapakah0 @tasenwiththerobots @tblsomedoodles @thegunnsara @triona-tribblescore @turrondeluxe @valen-timez @vangh17a @wraenata @zinovi768 @debb987 @dianagj-art @goatedgreen @indieyuugure

[simpxxstan]

Had this insane thought where reader and wonwoo are exes,both extremely rich people, n one day they get dragged to one of the mega rich orgies (which they never attended and never planned on attending because it wasnt their) by their friends to way to help them get back into the dating world and try meeting new people but they get separated from their friends and bump into each other and spend the next few hours having to forcefully e/o from being pulled away and flirted with byother people(while having to keep their composure) this goes on until one of them finally breaks andd they fuck the hell out of each other (dom!reader for like 5 minutes because being with ww was the only time they didn't top, they "forgot") i am so sorry if my English is bad and this makes no sense its 3 am and I like woke up in the middle of the night horny-

OH ANON this makes sense and your details were all perfect! and most importantly, thank you for sharing your thoughts w me

here's my contribution to your wonderful imagination-

warnings: NSFW (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) mild description of orgy, possible multiple sex partners, jealousy and public-ish sex, tables being broken and sex on the floor(???)

wonwoo doesn't really mind being in the orgy and he decides to take advantage of the situation so he does get into a few scenes w some people

you, on the other hand, can't stand other people getting their hands over wonwoo

it's bad enough that you broke up with him because you wanted to focus on work (and you regret it but your pride is too big to beg him to come back)

and you're aware that wonwoo must be getting intimate w someone or the other, but SEEING IT HAPPEN? different story entirely

you hardly get emotional over something as physical as sex, treating it as nothing more than sex, so you convince yourself that seeing wonwoo in this position will not affect you

as expected, you're wrong

you're equal parts mad, irritated, upset and aroused

but you can't give wonwoo the pleasure of seeing how much you want to be in place of his current partner

so you get into a scene too yourself, not to get him jealous per se (because you don't think he will get jealous), but to just get your mind off him

you're wrong again.

for approx 5 minutes you enjoy domming your partner, relishing the control

but then wonwoo steps right in and takes over

because he gets incredibly jealous and cannot ignore it from the sidelines

and then he shows you, and your partner(s) during the scene who you really belong to

"you've tested me enough, doll" he says when he flips you over and lays you down on the nearest table

and god, you let him manhandle you

because a. you've missed it, and b. you love it

you may relish having control w others but there's nothing you love more than giving up control to wonwoo because you trust him to show you a divine time

so wonwoo does

he breaks the table with such a loud creak, that everybody at the party turns to look

but somehow you can't find yourself to care

you end up fucking on the floor, over the fragments of the table

"come back to me, baby" he asks you, while stuffing you full in the best way possible

your body is already marked by him completely but he can't get enough

"come back to me because i miss you, i want you, i need you, and i belong to you"

when you cry that night, it's not because of pain, but because he's giving it to you so good, you feel yourself becoming one with him

you'd be a fool to not go back to him now because he's reminded you thorougly that you two belong together

and the night ends with your confirmation to him, because you are his and he is yours

wonwoo decides everyone's had a good enough show, so he takes you home to finish that night

the orgy becomes a good memory for y'all later on in your relationship when you taunt him and he gets jealous again, but it's all a joke because you don't want anyone lay hands on wonwoo ever again and it's a mutual feeling

[impala-dreamer]

So, yesterday... I died (almost)

No, seriously.

I've been powerwashing the house... back patio/back deck/sidewalk, etc... yesterday, I wanted to move the machine upstairs to my side deck where the birds hang out. I move the machine to the front of the house, and some of the hose was wrapped around a shrubbery... so I go to untangle it...

And was instantly stung by a bee.

Ok... no biggie.

Then another. Then one on my forehead... then I was swamped by the entire nest. And stung by like 12 bees.

....

I'm not allergic so I'm not worried, just pissed. I run inside, take my shirt off, deal with the bees and take stock. I'm OK, but lemme go take a benadryl anyway. I have one on my nightstand. I go get it and take it to the bathroom bc I'm gonna shower anyway, so I turn on the water and try to open the blister pack of benadryl. My hands start shaking and I can't open it. No way will it open. I start getting dizzy like I'm going to faint (I have a fainting condition so I know the early signs) so I'm like.. ok... if you're gonna have to sit down. And the shower has a seat. So I strip and go into the shower, sit down.

Normally, cold water stops the fainting so I'm like... this is a good idea.

It didn't help. Ok. I'm gonna faint, go lower. So I sat on the shower floor and I'm in the water and

Passed out.

Woke up disoriented, still in the shower. Ok. Get up.

Passed out.

Again. Get up and get out of the shower.

This went on for apparently, 35 mins of me losing consciousness and trying to climb out of the shower to call for help.

Finally, my brain is like.. if you don't get out of the shower you are dying here. So I'm talking outloud to myself as I crawl out of the shower unable to stand or really move my legs. (Btw.. 5 inch shower ledge to crawl over) I somehow get out, slide the phone off the counter, and text my brother 911. (Hubby at work). Then, I lay down kinda twisted on the floor like a chalk outline and keep talking to myself.

Bro comes in... freaks out...

Then the next 40mins are a blurr, but the cops came... 2 shots of epipen, and oxygen before the ambulance got there.

Another shot of epi, a shot of benadryl, another tank of oxygen...

My BP was 57/14.

They couldn't let me sit up even or I'd instantly pass out. Not that I could move.

So they carried me on some sheet thing out of the house, downstairs, into ambulance.

Apparently there were 4 cop cars and 3 ambulances on my lawn...

They got me in and couldn't start driving until they stabilized me..

I started major convulsing bc of all the adrenaline. Like full seizure shaking bad. They couldn't find any veins on me bc small veins and BP deathly low... so we were on my lawn for a while trying to get me ok enough to move.

Finally, I joked "you want me to drive?" Proving that my comedy is pure and part of me, even while on my literal deathbed. ;)

So we got me another shot of benadryl and a shot of steriods...

Drove 20 mins to the closest hospital ... bc I live in the middle of nowhere...

Guy calls in "critical incoming"... which is never great to hear.

We pull in and the hospital guys meeting us looks at me and says "you officially have the lowest blood pressure I have ever heard of on a living person."

Gee thanks! Let's fix this!

So I spent the next 5? Hours in the e.r. critical section hooked up to wires and ivs and ekgs and oxygen.

In the end I had 3 shots of epipen. 3 benadryl shots. Steroids. 2 bags of fluid. 4 panic attacks. 3 tanks of oxygen.

And a hospital turkey sandwich.

So... yeah, if I hadn't talked myself out of the shower with the dregs of my strength and will to not die naked on my shower floor...

I'd be dead.

I'm feeling a ton better today but still not good. I am on the couch and not gonna move.

Also having some theological thoughts about the lack of diving intervention or feeling of godly care.

Basically, my life was saved by myself, my brother, that cop, and Madision and John, my e.m.t.s.

Hope you are all doing better than I am lol

Happy Sunday 💖

[floralhuqzz]

Sexual tension (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader) smut

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Warning: smut, degradation, choking, petnames, virgin reader,, DONT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18🔞

🦇author: the edit thats in this post is not mine,, all credits to crystalcaskle on tiktok!!! :) I also apologize if theres any misspelled words english is not my first language!

♱

I woke up around 7 am when i decided to make myself some breakfast before i start streaming,, ive started youtube 1 year ago, around that time when i met Johnnie. Ive been living with him and Jake for the past 3 months and honestly its been going pretty good.

“whatcha’ making?”

“oh god dont scare me like that!” i slightly punch him in the shoulder

“sorry sorry.. it smells really good” he puts his arm around my shoulder and i blush.. i had a crush on him since when we first met

“you want some pancakes?” i look at him

“yeah, thanks” he pats my head, making my hair look like a mess

“i hate you” i roll my eyes

“you love me” he laughs as he sits down

‘i do..” i thought to myself

i make some coffee and more pancakes as i sit down next to Johnnie.

“are you doing something after?” he asks me while he keeps eating his pancakes

“yeah..i have to stream right now,, but im free afterwards” i smile

“wanna go out?” he finally looks at me,, he looked so beautiful,, his blue beautiful eyes.. his makeup he forgot to take off before bed that somehow still looked good on him.

“yeah..i would love to” i smile a little

i stand up

“i better go now, ill see you in 2 hours johnnie” i smile as i walk to my room

1 hour later*

i started streaming and i decided to react to some videos that my followers sent me,, they were usually sending edits of me or they will even sometimes send me memes. They all kinda supposed i had a crush on Johnnie, i just didn’t want to say anything just yet. They will sometimes send me edits of Johnnie and see my face turning red.

As one of my followers sent me this edit

When i watched that edit i said something that i will be definitely regretting later

“i volunteer..*cough* i mean what?..” i laugh

“WHAT DID SHE SAY” “DID WE HEAR THAT RIGHT?” “SHE JUST SAID I VOLUNTEER” “TELL ME THAT SOMEONE CLIPPED THAT”

“chat you are all crazy” i laughed

after another hour i decided to end the stream as i said my goodbyes

i walk to the living room as i see Johnnie sitting on the couch looking a bit serious

“you okay there?” i chuckle

“i need to talk to you”

oh no.

“yeah what is it?”

“mind explaining me this?” he shows me a clip of my reaction to that one edit on my stream

"oh um." i blush as i look away

"hm?" he stands up and walks towards me "cat got your tongue?"

i didnt say anything. i just stared at the floor

"i asked you something" he puts his hand on my chin

"it- it was just a joke, you know?" i chuckle awkwardly as i felt like i was about to pass out from embarassment

"it didnt seem like a joke to me" he stares at me

"yeah umm..." i start to walk back as he started to walk towards me, almost like trying to intimidate me

"whats wrong?" he smirks

"n-nothing" i finally bump into the wall behind me

"if you wanted to get fucked by me you couldve just said so"

"w-what?"

"dont play dumb"

"i-im no-" he grabs my neck

"lying to me wont get you anywhere" he stares at my shirt as he starts to put his hand inside my shirt

"j-johnnie what are y-" i could literally feel my heart beat racing by the second

"dont tell me you dont want this” he now started to kiss my neck

i felt like i was literally about to pass out from how hot i was in that moment. i couldn’t believe this was actually happening,,

“come here” he picks me up in bride style and sets up on walking to his bedroom,, he opens the door and throws me to his bed as he climbs on top of me

“fuck,, i wanted this for so long..” he starts to take off my shirt,, i felt hot between my legs

he started to kiss my stomach going down my hips. he slowly took off my pants and threw them on the floor

“johnnie wait!” he stops

“whats wrong? did i go too far??” he looks at me worried

“no no…its just that…its my first time..” i blush

“oh…” he smirks “ill make you feel good alright baby?,, you just have to trust me with this okay? can you do that for me?” he caresses my thigh. i nod as he then continued what he was doing earlier. he starts to kiss my chest going down my stomach, and finally reaching down to my panties.

“can i?” he started to kiss my inner thigh

“mhm” i nod

he slowly started to take off my panties as he then began to slowly eat me out. I’ve never in my life had been touched this way by anyone,, and knowing that the first person to take away my virginity was johnnie, it relieved me. i started to whimper as he suddenly started to go faster. his tongue was reaching all the right spots.

“fuck-“ i whimper as i felt him moan, sending vibrations to my core which gave me even more pleasure. i look down as i see him staring at me as he kept eating me out “johnnie fuck i-“ i moan

“come on baby, be a good girl and cum on my face” him calling me a ‘good girl’ sent me shivers down my spine.

“oh god oh god oh god-“ i throw my head back as i came

johnnie looks at me and caresses my thighs once again.

“you did so good baby..” he gets up and starts to kiss me. I see him unbuckling his pants.

“do you want this?” he asks

“yes…yes i do” i was so turned on by now that the only thing i wanted was him..and only him

“you will have to beg for it or ill leave you like this…needy…and you dont want that right princess?” he smirks

“n-no…” fuck he knew what he was doing. He waits for me to continue

“p-please johnnie..” i whimper as he lined himself to my entrance

“you can do better than that..” he looks at me dead in the eyes

“please johnnie i want your dick inside of me..” i beg,, i felt so embarrassed but turned on at the same time

“thats a good girl” he gets inside of my without a warning as i moaned from the sudden feeling

“for how long you’ve wanted this y/n? hm? tell me.” he began to move

“for a l-long time..” i moan, it felt like i was on cloud nine

He started to thrust harder and faster,, i felt like i was about to cum.

“j-johnnie i-im~” i whimpered and he put his hand on my leg and place it on his shoulder for better access which made the feeling 100 times better

“i know baby i know…fuck y-you feel amazing” he thrusted faster, “come on princess cum with me…” he moaned as we both cummed. We started to breath heavily,, with our hair sticking to our foreheads because of the sweat,, messy hair and red face but he still looked beautiful

“youre absolutely gorgeous..” i blush at his sudden comment

“i dont know if this is the right time but…i really like you..” he confesses

“i like you too johnnie…ive liked you for a very long time..” i smile at him as he kisses my forehead and we both fall asleep in each others arms.

[mumatsi]

Bill Cipher was in my weird dream last night so I documented it at 3 AM through these sketches!

Have fun reading this absolute fever nightmare 0.0

(Start Text)

So, I was in a "carnival" but I was also part of an organization tasked with a very important rescue mission. But I didn't wanna be there and felt guilty for some reason

Then we were in a capsule thing and normal people thought we were part of the carnival. So no one suspected anything.

Depiction of capsule: (Image) Red lights, white + silver walls. Watch guard of the team. Nintendo switch he always played. TT switch.

We had a switch with the ability to reset time back to when our capsule had first arrived to the carnival. We needed to rescue the "timeline" here because an entity was going to destroy the world here through the carnival somehow. For some reason the carnival had Poppy Playtime themed rides IDFK why.

Suddenly my head turned towards a dark hole leading into a tunnel attraction. And something ripped the fabric of reality.

Tunnel depiction: (image) rip in reality

It was far away from me but in full view. It looked childish but things felt scary once the rip appeared.

I am not even joking, the entity that came out of the rip was BILL CIPHER. I knew I was obsessed with GF but I never thought something this random would happen?? It was kinda exciting!! :D

(Image) "sup I'm in ur dream" "omg!"

Too bad becase he was so fucking scary in the dream I couldn't even get excited! He moved so fast and was silent the whole time.

(Image) My Teammates DIED.

I suddenly ran to the switch inside the capsule and activated it by holding it for 3 seconds, idk how I knew to do that.

(Image) playing games on nintendo. holding switch.

When I went in, guard guy (GG) was plsying games. I asked what was going on and he took off his headphones to say "The entity came before us, hold the switch so we can restart the mission" then went back to gaming. I held the switch, it all went white, and...

It reset. We were all alive. Nobody was aware. When I tried to say it, they did not care. GG told me to "call him for resets instead of running back to the capsule everytime" EVERYTIME?? That was going to repeat???

The same thing happened more than I could count. We tried to detect the anomaly causing the entity but in the end Bill showed up and I had to call GG for a reset, each time. My teammates died a lot but I didn't. Each reset seemed to change my teammates. All of them except for me and GG. Then I finally figured it out.

(Image) "As long as we keep people away, we're safe."

Going near the tunnel is what really triggers his appearance.

I tried to tell them but they knew something I didn't, I was untrustable.

(Image) "DON'T LEAVE!" "LOL nope."

They went in. I couldn't scream as THEY died too.

(Image) !? ?!

I called GG for a reset. But it didn't happen... Again and again and again. He was not answering. WHY???

(Image) "Bzzt!! Bzzt!!!" "Zzz"

He fell asleep. He didn't hear my calls through his headphones. He was too busy on his slacking off that he tired himself out.

(Image) "NAME." "oh."

Then I heard my own mom's voice call me. Very mad and low.

(Image) lol

Before I knew it, I got thrown so hard that all my bones broke and reattached in less than 2 seconds.

Bill said "You're weird!" very happily, I took the chance to recover and run for the switch.

(Image) "I know how weird you are!"

I ran in, Bill laughed and made no attempt to stop me. I couldn't look back as the door closed behind me and the red lights turned back on.

(Image) HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHA

I started holding the switch, also tried talking to GG but he was unresponsive.

(Image) *click* "GG?? u ok??" "......"

3..2..1.. it all went white.

Then I woke up. Idk what that was but I wanna go back. What happened to GG? Why was Bill Cipher there too?? Why the hell was the carnival Huggy Wuggy themed??? Idfk. It was AWESOME!!!

(Image) "WTF. that was EPIC..."

(End text)

Yeah... If you read all of this, thanks! Let me know what you thought because I am still very confused about this dream.

[onim5]

Isekai Au

Chapter 3: Realization

Portgas D. Ace x Female Reader

Warnings: Reader getting mad at Ace.

-----------------------------------

"Who raised you?" You asked as Ace ate with his hands. "Mountain bandits," Ace mumbled through his chewing. Raising your eyebrow, you decided to dismiss it. After all, this guy was clearly a delusional imbecile who dreamed about being a cool pirate with a big bounty. "Do you have any more questions about me?" Ace asked, looking at you like he wasn't sitting there lying to your face. "Do you have any caretaker I can call?" You asked. This guy was definitely not fit to go around unwatched. 

"Uh, you mean my captain?" Ace asked, confused. "I guess," you answered. "It would be great if we could contact him. Where's your den den mushi?" He asked, looking around, and then he fell asleep for the third time. "What even is that?" You mumbled, standing up. The information he gave you was bullshit. He was either a liar or is actually delusional. 

It took some seconds, and then he woke up again. After yawning, he looked around. "Are you some kind of noble?" Ace asked, looking around your apartment. "No, we don't have that kind of society here." You frowned. "Huh, that's rare. Anyway, which sea is this island on?" Ace asked, wondering where he ended up. Though seeing your reaction made it clear, he was supposed to know.

"Hey, look, I somehow teleported here. So I have no idea where I am." Ace explains. "You teleported?" You asked sarcastically. "I know, hard to believe. But let's just say it was a devil fruit. So which sea?" He asked, curious. "We're in Aldinomanic, in the Sunday winter nation sea." You answered sarcastically, again. "Really, I have never heard of that." Ace groaned. Did he perhaps teleport to unknown territory?

"It was a joke. We're on a continent." You finally told. Ugh, can't I just kick him out? You thought. "What's a continent?" Ace asked, confused. "Alright, do you like wasting peoples time?" You asked done with his bullshit. "Not really, why?" Ace asked, not taking the hint. "You're wasting mine!" You said in a harsh tone. "Going on about pirates. Really?! And magic bullshit." You complained madly. Ace watched as you walked around the table.

"If you think I'm an idiot, you can mess around with, then you're wrong. I'm a highly respected woman. I make £25.64 per hour. And I know that's what you want from me, money." You scoffed. "Wait, don't you mean berries?" Ace asked, confused. "What do you mean berries? I'm not talking about food here." You declared.

"Um, no, I mean the currency." Ace explained. "Are you. There's no where, in the entire world, people would use berries as money. Okay, maybe children. But if I want like blueberries, I go to the store." You said in disappointment. Ace didn't know what to say. It's like you never heard of pirates before. Ace pushed his plate forward. "Thanks for the food. But um, can you get your den den mushi, so I can try to call Pops?" Ace asked.

"What even is that?" You asked, grabbing his plate and putting it in the dishwasher. "You don't know?" Ace asks, getting a weird feeling in his chest. "No." You answered, now being tired of Ace. "Do you know what a map is?" Ace asked nervously. "Of course I do." You answered. "Can you show me one?" Ace asked politely. Rolling your eyes, you put up google Maps on your phone and then put it before him.

Ace slowly bent down his head. And then tried to read the small text on it. "Do you have a bigger one?" Ace asked nervously, already knowing you're done with him. "Just zoom in. You don't seem to have that bad eye sight." You frowned, folding your arms.

Ace had no idea what you meant and decided to just pick up the map and look closer. "Are you an idiot?" You asked, taking the phone from him, and then zoomed in so he could see. "Wow, how did you?" Ace asked as he watched the screen. "So where's the sea?" Ace asked amused. You zoomed out a lot. His eyes widened upon seeing the world, supposedly.

Ace scanned his soroundings, taking in a lot of stuff he had never seen. Did he, did he teleport to whole new world? "This is gonna sound crazy."

---------------------------

End of chapter 3.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2.

Chapter 4.

Masterlist

[notsoattractivearenti]

Surprise x2 (Christian Pulisic x Reader)

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: few cursing words; mentions of pregnancy; possibly can cause baby fever lol. nothing else but fluff fluff fluff! 🥰

A/N: This was supposed to be the first fic I posted, but I just finished it after 2 weeks! Heavily inspired by the video above lol (not the gender reveal, but Christian's reaction). Written especially for dad!Puli nation 🥰🫶 Feedbacks would be appreciated!

---

“Shit, it’s 6 fucking AM!” you quietly said to yourself as you just woke up and already feeling extremely nauseous. You got up and rushed to the bathroom because you felt like you were so close on throwing up on the bed. Your husband, Christian woke up to the sound of you throwing up, which was pretty loud. He immediately got off the bed, grabbed some tissues and a glass of water from the bedside table, and went to the bathroom.

You were sitting on the floor, facing down the toilet, and you heard him coming over. You were looking up at his tired-yet-worried face as he said “Y/N love are you okay? Do you want me to get any meds or anything else? I also got you water in case you need it.” You were feeling too weak to say anything so you just nodded, then threw up again. He was there the whole time holding your hair up, caressing your back, and even said “sorry baby” multiple times. You were feeling extremely sick and so worried, so his presence made you felt a lot better. 

“Okay, I’m done,” you said as you wiped your mouth with a tissue, “everything inside my stomach is pretty much gone now, ugh.” He helped you stood up, you flushed the toilet and he asked, “what happened?” 

“I have no idea. Just got nausea out of nowhere.” He then nervously said something that made your heart skipped a beat: “Y/N, I don’t know but um, do you think uh, it’s possible that… You’re pregnant again?” 

You suddenly remembered that you did go through the same thing before finding out you were pregnant with Maxine, your firstborn. You froze for a second then responded, “Fuck. Chris, I need to get a pregnancy test like right now.” 

“I’ll get them for you, come on.” You both went back to your bedroom, then Christian grabbed his jacket and car keys, and kissed your forehead before he left. You had mixed feelings about the possibility of being pregnant again but you started questioning yourself: are you ready for another child? You are a great mom to Max and you love her very much, but going through pregnancy and taking care of a baby were no joke. You felt like you needed more time to do it all over again, but now it seemed like you weren’t given enough time. You and Christian just started talking about trying for baby number 2 — now that Maxine is already 2 years old — but somehow you might have ended up conceiving before you two were even actively trying.

While you waited for Christian, you went to Max’s room to wake her up. You opened the door and saw your beautiful daughter who was still asleep while cuddling her beloved stuffed penguin Christian got her after she was born, which she named Fuzzy Penny. You sat on her bed, and shortly before you woke her up you looked at her and thought how lucky you are to have her in your life. 

Max was a surprise baby, since you and Christian didn’t plan on having a child before you two got married yet you got pregnant with her 3 months after you got engaged. You remembered how scared you were, because you didn’t think you were ready even though you wanted to keep your baby, and Christian convinced you that everything was going to be alright. You’re so glad that he was right, because you couldn’t and don’t want to imagine your life without Max. Even though it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, she without a doubt has made your life so much better than you thought it could ever be. It felt like you just gave birth to her yesterday and now she is probably going to be a big sister.

“Good morning my little angel,” you whispered to her little ear as you gently kissed her head and caressed her arm, “time to rise and shine!” She slowly opened her eyes, looked up to you, then gave you a big, bright smile and softly said “Mommy!” Her little voice has never failed to make you smile. You were filled with worries before and thanks to Max, now you felt at peace. “How was your sleep? Was it good?” Max nodded her head while smiling, then grabbed her shoulder-length wavy hair and said to you “messy hair mommy.” “You have the cutest messy hair honey,” you laughed, then you picked her up “let’s get you out of this bed, and come find Daddy!”

Christian had just come back and as he entered the living room, Max spotted him and shouting “DADDY!!!” His eyes widened when he saw her, “Oh hey look who’s awake! Good morning my princess!”

He bent down to pick her up, wrapping her around his arms. She rested her head on Christian’s shoulder, had her arms around his neck, and Christian gave her kisses on the top of her head – he knows she loves it when he does that, and of course he loves doing it too. 

You couldn’t help but smile, thinking how beautiful that moment was even though you have seen it many, many times. You felt like there were millions of butterflies in your stomach, so in love with the man who is not just the best husband, but also the best father in the whole wide world. 

You were so caught up in the moment you forgot that you needed to take pregnancy test, but then Christian reminded you as he handed the bag over. “Honey, I wasn’t sure how many tests you may need but I got like 4 or 5 in there. I’ve checked all expiration dates so you’re good.” 

“Woah, thank you,” as you took the bag, “I’ll take them all right now.” He smiled, nodded and mouthed “I got you”. 

You went to the bathroom to took all the test. “Okay,” you sighed, “let’s get this over with.” You waited anxiously until you got the results. You heard the timer sound on your phone, meaning 2 minutes had passed. You closed your eyes and took 3 deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down before you saw the results. 

Two red lines. “Pregnant”. You couldn’t believe what you saw. You gasped, and stood still for a minute, trying to process everything. You’d gone through this before, but it still caught you off guard somehow. You were nervous, but now you have positive results, you didn’t feel that way anymore. You’re going to have another child, and you felt good about it. Even though you weren’t sure you were ready, at least you knew you can count on your loving husband for everything, especially much-needed support.

Now that you’d spent some time in the bathroom, you finally felt ready to tell your husband he's going to be a dad for the second time. As you walked to the kitchen, you heard Max and Christian laughing. You then took a peek to see what it was all about, and you saw they were cooking breakfast. He was making Max’s favorite breakfast: pancakes with berries and chocolate sauce – he couldn’t cook before, but the day you two found out you were pregnant with Max he started learning how to cook because he wanted to be able to make homemade meals for his family. You saw they were having so much fun cooking those pancakes. When he was cooking, he held Max on his hip, while flipping the pancakes with his other hand. The kitchen was messy, and they were covered in flour – you could tell they were having a lot of fun while making the batter. He shook the pan for a bit, lifted it, then flipped over the pancake. In awe, Max laughed, clapped her hands in excitement and told him “good job Daddy!”

You didn’t want to interrupt their moment, so you just stood where you are until they noticed you. “Oh hey, there’s Mommy! Come here, we made pancakes!” As you approached them, Christian set up the table with Max’s help – she was still attached to his hip, of course ­– then sat her down on the chair.

“Wow, these pancakes look so good! You two made the best pancakes in the world!” you complimented them. Max gave you a big smile then looked to her dad “Daddy did good.” Christian was blushing, kissed her cheek and said to her “I did good because I have the cutest little helper.” 

Before he sat down, you softly grabbed his arm, and you whispered, “Honey, seems like we got another surprise...” You saw his eyes lit up as you said those words. He looked at you as he responded, “Oh my God, Y/N, you’re really pregnant???” You grinned and nodded. 

He gave you the biggest hug and was smiling ear to ear. He’s always loved being a father, and now he’s going to be a father of two. You could feel his overwhelming joy, which brought you back to the day you found out the first time. Still hugging you, he told you “I love you so much, Y/N! Thank you for giving me two best surprises!” 

Before he released the hug he kissed you on the lips, then came towards Max, hugged her and told her in his excited, high-pitched voice, “Max! You’re gonna be a big sister!”

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14

[princess-of-the-corner]

Amnesia!Dabi & AtLA Todorokis

My tablet has decided to be finicky, so submitting this all in a big chunk-

1) AtLa Todorokis

(Assuming CC!Canon)

Toya just looking at Princess “I Must Please My Dad And Be The Best!” Azula, and going “oh, you’re in for a bad time.” Somehow, he and Azula end up sparring, and then screaming and sobbing all over each other. 

Fuyumi and Rei being “dismissed” is less “Woman” and more that the Fire Nation is a very militaristic and power centred society, so the demure housewives get ignored. Jokes on them, by the end of the first week Rei has blackmail on every member of Ozai’s cabinet, and Fuyumi has the undying loyalty of most of his staff.

Natsuo is less “God, how primitive” and more “Ok, I get that you don’t have access to the same technology, but here’s how to make a very simple freezer so these medicines last longer”. Also “ok, I’m like … 80% sure that this plant is the same one where I’m from, in which case you should stop using it, and use this one instead, it’s less addictive”. Or, alternately, “Oh, so this plant does all this cool stuff, isn’t addictive, and grows like mad? Neat, how many seeds can I buy?”

Shoto takes one look at Zuko, decides “Ah, yes. This must be another version of me from an alternate reality.” Zuko … doesn’t really know what to do with that, but the kid seems alright, all things considered. Shoto also kind of … smacks Zuko in the face (metaphorically) cause part of the problem is that Zuko is surrounded by politicians and manipulative power-mongers. Everybody keeps talking around problems, or making Zuko second-guess himself, meanwhile Shoto “What Is A Filter?” Todoroki is like, “I get where you’re coming from, but that was a dick move.”

Enji is gritting his teeth the entire time, cause like. They’re in a strange place, they have to play by the rules until they figure out how to get home. But the more time he spends with Ozai, the more he wants to punt this smug bastard into the sun, and he has to keep reminding himself why that might be a bad idea.

Finally, Ozai decides to have Enji assassinated, cause the Fire Spirit and his family are causing all kinds of political problems. Only, of course, it fails pretty spectacularly, and since it involved using Azula as bait, she’s firmly against him now. Somehow, it ends with Zuko, Azula, Ty Lee, Mai, Shoto, Toya, Fuyumi, and Natsuo going on the run, while Enji and Rei team up with an escaping Iroh to wreck havoc and cover their retreat. The group run into the Gaang, and Zuko has to be like “So, firstly, Sorry for all the times I tried to kill you, secondly-”

At some point, Aang uses his “Spirit Medium” powers to try and connect with someone from the MHA world, ends up contacting Fumikage. 

2) Amnesia!Dabi

I think I sent this ask already, but I am becoming increasingly attached to the idea that Amnesia!Dabi as an AU is one where, for whatever reason, escaping AfO is actually not that hard. Like, in order:

Dabi - literally walked out of the sketchy clinic he woke up in. He was coming out of a coma, covered in half-healed burns, and still fighting off some lingering sedation. Took 15 hours before anyone found out he dipped. He proceeded to “evade” AfO for the next 3 years, to the point the guy thought he was dead, and only knew otherwise when Dabi walked into the bar to join the LoV. Finds out Dabi was basically two streets over the whole time.

Himiko (and Dabi again) - during the smack down involved with Katsuki’s Great Escape, AfO somehow misses Dabi covering Kats’ retreat, and then fleeing with an injured Himiko. When they don’t show up again, everyone assumes they got caught or went to ground, and only manage to piece together any kind of idea what happened when a news story breaks about the Togas suing UA over Himiko. Then the news Dabi=Toya, and his memory loss. Given the publicity involved on both Himiko and Dabi, unless AfO wants to really blow the fact that him being in prison doesn’t mean much, he “decides” they aren’t worth it.

Magne - left shortly before the Toya=Dabi story broke, but after the Himiko court case got announced. Just … left. Decided this clearly wasn’t the kind of group she thought it was, told everyone goodbye, good luck, and left. Jin, Compress and Spinner still have her number. AfO is unaware she left at all until sometime after the League joins up with Overhaul.

Jin - managed to escape a facility that was SUPPOSED to be secure, while severely injured from a procedure that stole his Quirk. Managed to escape, get help, and lead a bunch of heroes to said facility, forcing AfO to abandon it. Is now under the protection of both Enji, and U.A., and when the HPSC try to get at him, Nezu “reveals” Jin’s the pioneer patient for a new program about “rehabbing” villains or something. Hero support skyrockets. HPSC support continues to down-swerve.

Compress - Undermines a fairly important operation to nab a powerful Quirk user, saves several heroes and adjacent from losing their Quirks, and even rescue the current holder of OfA. The resulting de-aging, turning Compress from 32 to 16, somehow ends up with “Mr. Compress” being “dead”, as teen him doesn’t remember being an adult! (I mean, my idea is he … kind of does? Like, general impressions, or big moments, he does remember. He knows he WAS an adult, and why he did what he did. But Eri’s Quirk went a little haywire, so for all intents and purposes, Compress is, indeed, 16 now.) Somehow, ends up adopted by Aizawa & Mic, cause Eri sees him as a big brother figure.

Kurogiri - K, so like. Originally, he got nabbed during some big operation, right? However, so much is different here, that AfO is just trying to get these guys to lay low. So, instead - bear with me - Kurogiri gets sighted during an outing for groceries, and during a scuffle, suffers a head injury that abruptly causes him to remember his time as Oboro, and forget/muddle much of his time as Kurogiri. Disoriented, he accidentally portals himself into Aizawa and Mic’s living room. Shenanigans ensue. Tomura and Spinner figure he got caught. However, they decide to tell AfO he straight up died. AfO, for some reason, decides “yeah, that checks out”.

Tomura & Spinner - so, my general idea for this is. AfO has decided that “if you want something done right, do it yourself”, and has used a combination of Overhauls’ Quirk plus some others to reconstruct his own body, and then with Jin’s Quirk, is going to make an army of himself. He also decides he’s going to yoink Tomura’s Quirk, cause Decay is pretty powerful, and then he’ll kill Tomura on live TV, telling the whole story about Nana & Yagi, and OfA, really hammer in the message that he’s awesome and all is lost. While this mostly goes to plan, he also ends up broadcasting Spinner decking him in the face, grabbing the de-Quirked Tenko, and escaping while calling him a “bitchass knock-off Palpatine wannabe motherfucker” on the way out. The boys get an unexpected assist from a nearby Hawks & Miruko, proceed to tell everyone everything they know about AfO’s plans.

Much later, after everything is settled, if this ends the way CC will, it takes a few weeks for Yoichi and AfO to have a proper conversation, because Yoichi just. Can’t stop laughing.

-

Everyone easily leaving AfO is fucking great.

Also yes let Rei get blackmail!!!

[whichcouldmeannothing]

everywhere at the end of time (memoryloss!spiderdads)

I COULDNT GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD me and my friend were gossiping about memory loss aus and this appeared...

i probably won't write this out but i wanted u guys to see it and scream w me

thank u for the warm reception for paper rings <3 let me finish some stuff up and then I'll get smth out for u

why yes this is post btsv i just wanted miles here

Peter doesn't blame them, really.

When Miguel told him that a Spider-Person had gone insanely rogue and created a memory-erasing gun, Peter wasn't even that surprised. There was plenty he would want to forget as Spider-Man, certain endorsements and franchises that displayed his mask.

Then Miguel told him that this guy saw their entire family killed by the Sinister Six, and was stuck in a Mysterio-induced hallucination of the memory. They relived it over and over again before the Avengers in their universe found them.

And Peter doesn't blame them at all for doing that.

But what he is doing here in Earth-5338 is making sure that this Spider-Person doesn't do this to other Spider-People. There's a decent amount of them here, Gwen, Miles and Jessica. It's a risky mission of course, but it should just be destroy-the-gizmo and extract-them.

This should be easy.

They're in their lab in Earth-5338. A spare suit hangs from a case, light blue with pink and white accents. Spinner, a sign by it reads. On the wall behind it are drawings of the spider in action, drawn in crayon.

It's something Mayday has done, and his chest constricts.

Someone lays a hand on him, ever-cautious, and Peter looks up at Miguel. It's battle time, so his mask is pulled up. But Peter knows that under it, his lips are just-kissed glossy. He grins at the memory of their pre-mission makeout session. He leans forward, careful to keep his voice down.

"Care for a repeat, ninety-nine?" Miguel has the shame to turn away. His cheeks are probably flaring red, and Peter pulls him closer.

Miguel traces two fingers down Peter's arm, stopping at his wrist. "

"Stay safe." Commanding. It's his way of affection.

"Back to you." Peter replies.

The memory cuts off here. The orange hologram freezes, and Miguel is allowed to fixate on the unhidden affection in Peter's eyes. The colour always reminded him of how Peter drank his tea. English breakfast, with enough milk to turn it opaque and turned sweet with an ungodly amount of sugar.

There's a small smile there on him, and Miguel wants to live in this moment again.

"Lyla, again."

"Miguel, this-"

"Again." He growls it this time.

The orange figures reset and all Miguel looks at is Peter. He will always turn to Peter first. He walks up to the costume case, laying his fingers on the sign.

"Is that me?" The memory breaks like shattered glass. Miguel turns around, and about ten feet below him is Peter.

But somehow, it isn't his Peter.

Miguel turns away again and breathes. He does it slow and quiet, unlike how his heart sounds like in his ears.

"I asked for you when I woke up again. I called you the scary big one, and people seemed to know who you were," Peter's joking, of course he's joking, but it's the way his voice sounds. The way his smile, his stupid grin is so evident in his voice that makes Miguel grip his table, until his claws are leaving marks.

"You know who I am, don't you?" Peter asks. "Who I was or whatever?"

Peter woke up with Miguel holding his hand. Peter pushed him away and asked for Aunt May. When rebuffed, he asked for Uncle Ben. He was scared of Miguel, eyes going wide at the talons on his suit.

The doctor eventually got him sedated and asleep again, but he pulled Miguel aside after. "He might not get his memories back. But we'll play our odds. We'll take it slow. "

Miguel nods. He didn't have to have the Spider-Sense, to know that Miles and Gwen were listening behind the wall. He could hear them whispering. He plans to scold them later, so he doesn't have to picture his future without his Peter.

"We have to keep memory dumps slow, so he won't get overwhelmed." Is there anything else other than being Spider-Man that might shock 616-B, something very different from what he knew before he became Spider-Man?"

"You were beside my bed. You know me, don't you?" Peter asks again.

Miguel breathes in. Breathes out. He closes his eyes.

"No."

-

<3

[cokoweee]

I asked my brother, "If you were in a coma, what would worry you most?" and he answered me "What age am I"

So let's get started (if this isn't that deep, it's because I'm having writer's block :(((() Imagine, Mikey has missed his birthdays, not only his brothers', but also his, let's imagine that, when he was 8, he fell into a chronic coma, and woke up the following year, at 9 years old, without cake, without gifts, with 3 worried and happy brothers at his side. A part of him is happy, he is happy to spend time with his brothers, but the most selfish part of people, the part that everyone pretends not to have, is upset, jealous and selfish because everyone has gifts, and cakes of their favorite flavors, and they can have a day that is just for them. But He? He is sleeping, he is asleep on the day that is all about him, he never gets a peach or orange pie, nor does he get cute clothes or toys he will play with for months, or video games that he will end. Surely his brothers give him his gifts when he wakes up, but... getting a gift on YOUR birthday is not the same as getting a gift on any other day. Cakes, even with your name and the same number of candles as your age, don't feel the same, they feel... unimportant, empty.

Mikey's birthdays are empty, he feels empty, there is nothing important

Another thing, Mikey doesn't know how to socialize, he doesn't know how to make good jokes or songs, he enjoys them, although when Leo makes jokes, or Donnie makes references to anime, Mikey laughs, but he doesn't understand them, and he never will, because he doesn't know what are them, and god, he really wants to know what they are But if he asks, he'll get those "Oh, right, you were in a coma" looks.

Also Mikey doesn't feels part of his family. It's like, he doesn't understand the inside jokes, he's heard the anecdotes but wasn't part of them, he didn't see his brothers grow up, or Splinter grow old. He is still a child, he is an older brother, but somehow, he is still a damn child, not only in appearance, what he knows about life, his experiences, he has not had the full experience of maturing, he sees his brother Raph and feels that he is nothing compared to Him, He feels that even Leo, his little brother, knows more than him, he is not good at anything, because he doesn't know nor has tried anything.

Nah, my blockage can do more, I'll leave it there, I'll come back tomorrow

A lil sadder since him and Raph share a birthday in this au iteration

[jessiquinn]

Time paradox (reader x Cable AKA Nathan Summers)

2022-07-16

Sorrow filled my heart as I watched you leave... please stay

Warnings : this contains depressive themes, self hate, abandonment issues, etc. if this triggers you please don't read.

(I didn't double edit it.. so there will be mistakes)

angst

writer notes at the end <3

-------

Decided on taking him in my home with nothing but love, he was in so much trauma, a lonely solider that only wanted to find his lost family... his reason to live.

he lived the moment day to day... taking every memory he can, he appreciated her doing, no one in the world would give him what she gave him.

which is a home

by time he forgot his goal, enjoying every moment he lived with you, his family became a memory...

as he had no hope he could find them... but then a spark of hope lit up as he saw the signals from his device.

his happiness quickly faded as he realized how there's two sides of the sword.

"I found them"

"w..what?"

"this morning I... I got a signal from one of the time lines..." he smiled as he said it, I felt shocked... like I got stabbed in my soul. I immediately smiled in response

I really want to be happy for him...I do...but my heart hurts so much.

in the end it didn't matter, us... we didn't matter. in his eyes... it's only his family.

It was too good to be true.

he didn't know how to break the news to her... he cared about her, he did but his family... his whole mission, his goal.

"I'm sorry" was all he said- , "That's why I have to leave..." at this moment everything broke.

I knew since day one that his stay is temporary but I never thought I'd forget about that... it was a fact, an undeniable one.

but somehow I ended up getting attached to the lonely solider.

I was only here to help him, to help the hero get up, make him strong and fight again for his life...but it seems like I lost mine.

Speechless, my face showed nothing but a smile.

"I..I'm happy for you," said with a smile but the hidden context can only be seen deep within.

he smiled back, a bit blue... but he knew it's everything he worked for...

"so.. it's ok with you .. " he said with hope... hope for something, anything to make him..stay.

"of course, your family is much more important, they need you. I completely understand... you deserve to go to them.. I won't be selfish" I smiled a genuine smile now, showing a bit of my sorrow.

he frowned a bit, not ashamed of showing his own hurt. "you... I would never.. forget you." he wants to stay.. to be with you.. to love you.

he can't believe his own thoughts...

"I want you to be happy, I want you to finally get your happy ending after all of this, you deserve it. don't worry about me. this is what I wanted, to see you happy with... your family" smiling through the hurt, longing for a hug for an embrace... for the info to be wrong, anything.

'please stay'... circling my mind nonstop.

he saw behind your façade... his own thoughts conflicted, like he was fighting his own self.

He doesn't want to admit that.. but the truth you became someone important to him.

"I.. I'm going tomorrow" sorrow filled his tone this time.

"oh.. amazing, if only there's a way you can send me picture or something haha" I tried to joke but it seemed my eyes had another idea... as my eyes started watering.

he saw that, his emotions killing him... he just walked away. trying to contain his own thoughts.

as he left, tears couldn't be kept anymore...

I can't be selfish.

my mind killing me, feeling negative emotions all over.

couldn't help but feel replaceable... temporary, did I.. mean anything to him? his absence filling my mind.

I'm broken.

Later that night Cable went to sleep but you sat through the night, alone, overthinking as I watch Tv, can I live without him..?

how did I live without him?

with him I felt strong.. I felt better.. but after all, life reminded me once again of how disposable I am..

he'll finally be happy I should be happy to.

he woke up early, ready to leave. I was still awake... Silence filled up the house.

made him his favouritbreakfast as goodbye.

I need to feel happy for him...

"I'm happy"

he looked up from his plate "hm?"

I'm not happy.

Seeing his face, my walls broke down.

Tears fell, looking at the plate.

I'm not happy at all.

"Cable, I..I'm sorry. I should be happy for you, but I can't. I'm sorry"

stunned by this, he never saw you like this before.

his own walls breaking, reaching to you.

"I miss you already, even if you're still here." I crying a river of sorrow, I ruined everything now.

"I'm sorry," said with so much hate and love.

"Why would you leave! I want to be with you, I want to live with you I love you damn it.

I hate you"

completely forgotten about the gift I prepared as I sob.

ruined everything, I did it. Now there's no way he'll stay.

I'm sorry

"doll, calm down..." he finally spoke, I look to him... my face says it all but his eyes says something unfamiliar, is it hate?

"I.. don't know what to say" he seems helpless, never expected that to happen.

his heart beating..a feeling he never thought he could feel again...

My head feels light, fighting for my life.

Fighting for us.

with a moment of clarity "I'm sorry Cable... I'm really sorry. t..take this. I made it for your birthday.. I know it's early but..." my tears continue falling.

he looks at the gift...Love... he never felt this much love before, except from his... family.

realizing what she said a moment ago, she.. loves me? everything becoming clear.

Love is truly war.

This is much more than love... it's longing, hope, desire.

Suddenly it hit him, it's you.

The same content, passion... love felt. it's you. I've been searching in the wrong place for all of those years.

when destiny had planned this from the start, from the day I arrived in this strange timeline...

"I'm sorr-" stopped by an embrace, a long one. he wasn't sure before but now he is sure.

The want to live, the want to kiss you right now.

undeniable, it is destiny.

----------------------

(somehow.. he didn't know that his family was safe and with him.. him from another timeline. one he didn't meet you. maybe this is a happy ending... for both of you)

----------------------

hi guys, I'm really proud of myself. I wrote this fic when I was in a really bad place. I felt so alone. while editing it I changed the destiny of it's ending... I'm really proud of myself.

if you knew me you'd know how hard it is for me to write something... loving.

I really hope it delivers the feelings I was feeling while writing it and the love I felt while editing it.

I'm trying my best to improve, I love you all. thank you for reading. <3

if you like it please reblog <3

[cars-and-planes-dork]

So I randomly felt like quickly sharing my thoughts on all three Cars movies and both Planes movies. Quick disclaimer, no matter how I feel about certain things it's totally cool if you feel different and I respect that.

Cars:

I love Cars. This was my childhood movie that I watched over and over and over again since I was a young child. I love the characters, the plot, and I think the animation holds up really well. I also am glad to see it with adult eyes cause there's a lot of nuance and stuff that I of course didn't get as a child. Recently on a whim I needed to unwind from stress and I put on Cars (just like my parents used to do for me as a kid, lol), and it genuinely did make me feel better and woke up a part of me that had laid dormant for years. Cars is a film that almost makes me wanna take a long drive on Route 66...until I remember I'm not any good at road tripping, lol.

Cars 2:

I have a distinct memory in my mind of being a child in the theater watching Cars 2, turning to my dad and saying 'can we go now?'. I didn't watch it all the way through until recently and I can thoroughly say that I don't despise it, but I'm also not its biggest fan. It's actually something of a guilty pleasure for me now. Sometimes I'll just put it on in the background while I do things. It also makes me contemplate the inner workings of this world more than the writers themselves probably thought about, like how the heck do different makes and models come about, what is the impact of climate change on a world of vehicles, but that's probably its own post. But yeah, I accept it for what it is and even enjoy some parts of it.

Cars 3:

So confession, it took me over 6 years to work up the courage to watch this one. I don't know why I was so worried, but I finally did it. And I loved it. I really think they ended on a good note. I'll admit the first part was probably the weakest in my eyes, but I really enjoyed the tribute to Doc Hudson and I actually teared up and I was happy to learn more about his past. I liked the torch passing narrative as well. I think my biggest complaint is that I wish we could've seen more of Lightning and his friends. (I may be biased because somehow Cal Weathers worked his way into my heart).

Planes:

Planes took longer to stick in my brain than Cars did. I remember going to see it actually, the local air and space museum did a showing of it and I went to watch it with my family. My parents didn't like it much but I remember being happy with it. Upon rewatching, there's things I like, but there's a part of me wishing it was something more. I can't fully explain it. Also I find Dusty's attitude off-putting to me personally (particularly his feeling of being entitled to being trained by Skipper and essentially demanding that Skipper tell him about his clearly traumatic past strikes me as kinda callous). But I still enjoy putting it on in the background and enjoy thinking about the world itself, much like Cars 2. Also fun fact, Skipper is one of my favorite kinds of planes.

Planes Fire & Rescue:

I'm sorry but I have much less patience for this film, but like I said above, I respect those who do. I will say, I appreciate them highlighting some of the realities of firefighting (like how the general public doesn't hear about a lot of fires that are dealt with). But other than that, I don't have much positive to say about it. The characters for the most part feel underdeveloped and I can't say I'm particularly endeared to a majority of them (Blade is the exception for me, tbh). And Dipper in particular needs to chill the hell out, her behavior is pretty inappropriate and creepy while being played off as jokes. Beyond that, my aforementioned issues with Dusty remain in this movie. Honestly, he doesn't strike me as capable of doing this job and he actively creates a situation that nearly gets Blade killed. I could spend awhile talking about it, but I'd honestly rather not. To end on a positive note, I think the married RV couple are adorable and I like them.

So that's all my thoughts. I enjoy both franchises and tend to overthink the hell out of them (if I overthink something it's usually cause I enjoy it). Hopefully I didn't piss too many people in the fandom off, lol.

[frogofalltime]

day 5

ough today was hard.

i actually slept around 10 hours but somehow i woke up exhausted. and my headache is worse again. especially the pressure in my forehead. i want to drill a hole in it and take my brain out.

after i woke up i stayed in bed for more than an hour and a half. and i already committed a social blunder before i even got up so that wasn't a good start to the day at all

then i had lunch because i ran out of the food i normally eat for breakfast and anyway it was already midday, and i took my meds, which made me feel nauseous almost straight away ??

i spent the next like 3 or 4 hours going completely insane in my bedroom. i managed to get dressed but it took me ages because of gender dysphoria and also just generally a feeling that everything was wrong. i kept pacing around my room, sitting on the floor even though it was cold, and genuinely feeling like a caged animal

the weather was really bad which didn't help, it's been incredibly windy the last few days and it was also raining most of the day and i didn't want to go for a walk in that

my friend suggested for us to go to the students union to study but because of the weather she decided to stay home. she told me to go to the house instead and we could bake together after studying as a reward, so i went there with @wiggles-mcgee and i really tried to make myself study but i only managed to revise one lecture and even that took so much effort and i couldn't focus at all

i had some soup and bread for dinner because i was hungry and robin said i should eat

i didn't end up helping at all with the baking and i didn't eat any of it either. which is sad because i usually enjoy baking but there were too many people in the kitchen and i felt overwhelmed and my brain didn't let me eat anything. but i did bring some of the brownies home so maybe i'll try them tomorrow.

interestingly i was not as hungry today even though i only ate two meals. and i wasn't as thirsty either.

i don't know why but i just kept getting into So Many Situations. i don't know how to describe it but just social errors and accidentally hurting my friend while play fighting with him

my friends have a chore chart with silly tasks on it and one of the tasks was "teach binya something" because i am generally a very oblivious and ignorant person who doesn't know a lot of things that are assumed to be common knowledge, especially if it's something to do with sex and stuff like that. at face value it looks like the kindest task out of all the ones on the chart, i mean one of the others is literally to kick someone. but this is something that makes me self conscious because it makes me feel so stupid. it happened like 5 times in a couple of hours that people went to put their names on the chart because they had to teach me something. i guess it's funny sometimes but this time it actually did upset me. i just want to be normal ! i want to be better and more productive and less stupid and for everyone to stop laughing at me ! i hate how even among a friend group full of neurodivergent and queer people i'm still the weird one. i don't think i will ever fit in anywhere because i am always singled out and laughed at no matter what

anyway i gave up trying to study and lay down on the sofa next to robin. i almost fell asleep but he woke me up showing me a very pretty fanart of sam winchester. and then robin went to bed and me and lucy went home.

i then proceeded to think about everything i had done wrong and made myself even more miserable for like two whole hours instead of getting ready for bed

i apologised to my friends for how i behaved and they said i literally did nothing wrong and i'm overthinking but that made me feel even more stupid because why don't i understand the difference between jokes and seriousness and why do jokes upset me even when i do know they're not serious

i eventually got in the shower which sucked because i was already feeling super dysphoric all day and showering is hard because i have to see and feel my body and i hate that :(

i'm in bed at last but it is 3am and i am so tired i don't know how im still awake.

so yea, a very bad day. but the highlight was seeing @etherealspacejelly in a shark onesie. honestly the most adorable thing i've ever seen. also robin hugs are always so good but shark robin hugs are even better because they are all fluffy

idk if it's the meds making me feel like ass or if my mental health is bad again because it always fluctuates or if i'm just suffering from lack of sleep and also exam stress but yea i am Not having a good time and i wish i could just be Normal and Okay and A Good Person and maybe i will ask my doctor to take me off this medication because if anything it is making me Worse

[spuffybot]

Walk Me to the Graveyard Ch 2

Summary: a late night phone call wakes Buffy and sends her spiraling. Will she be able to confront the demons of her past? Characters: Buffy, Willow, Kennedy, Spike Word Count: 2764 Author’s Note: I’m retconning some things because I refuse to play in a sandbox where Cordelia was treated the way she was in seasons 4 and 5. So in this world Cordy is alive and well, she’s being the voice of reason and she’s broken off from the Fang Gang because she knows that Wolfram and Hart is not the path Angel is meant to be on. Gunn went with her because he also deserves better than the show gave him. I think it’s in character for Wesley and Fred to stick by Angel’s side.

Buffy woke to the sound of a phone ringing. She looked at the clock and tried to make out the blurry numbers as her eyes refused to adjust in the dark. She grabbed it and pulled it close to confirm. 3 am.  Whatever this was it better be important.

She fumbled around for the receiver, pulling it close to her ear and burrowing back under the blankets.

“Mmmphhhh,” she mumbled.

“I’d expect our fearless leader to be a little more intimidating than that,” came the voice on the other end.

Buffy shot up, suddenly alert.

“Kennedy.”

“You said to call as soon as I had word, so I’m calling Boss.” This last part said with a heavy dose of irony. Buffy rolled her eyes. She could care less about Kennedy’s ego problems.

Buffy rolled out of bed, careful the keep the phone pressed between her shoulder and ear while she switched on the lights and grabbed a robe. This called for coffee, regardless of the hour.

“You said something about word and the having of it?” Buffy prompted, trying not to get irritated that Kennedy was drawing this out.

“Are you sitting down? Because I gotta say…this is gonna get weird.”

At that Buffy sat down, thoughts of coffee far behind her. She pulled her robe around her tight, bracing herself for the worst. Maybe Spike wasn’t alive after all. Maybe it had been some kind of sick joke. Or maybe The First was back somehow and taunting her. Ok wait, that was crazy. How would The First even pick up a phone to call her? And honestly if The First was capable of that wouldn’t last year have been a whole lot harder?

“Ahem, Buff? Are you there? Please tell me you didn’t fall back to sleep…”

Kennedy’s voice snapped her out of her anxiety spiral. She needed to chill. Maybe coffee was a bad idea after all.

“Sorry, just…it’s a lot…” she trailed off lamely.

“Hmm.”

Buffy could hear Kennedy rolling her eyes. She counted to ten in her head, willing herself to remain calm. As much as she and Kennedy were incapable of agreeing on just about anything, the other Slayer was smart, resourceful, and relentless. Even if she’d wanted to, she’d be unable to find a better candidate for this particular job.

“Well, you said you had news?”

“Yea…like I said, I hope you’re sitting down. Have you ever heard of a place called Wolfram and Hart?”

—————————————————————

Buffy turned the shower temperature up as high as it would go. Stepping into the steaming mist she leaned her head back, the water pulsing into her face, easing some of the tension in her jaw and neck. Say what you will about The Watcher’s Council, but they didn’t skimp on luxuries. She supposed when you had generational wealth dating back centuries it wasn’t hard to do. Too bad they never felt compelled to share any of that luxury with their Slayers. Whatever. It didn’t matter anymore. That was then and this was now, and in the now she held the purse strings. Or at least Giles did. And he wasn’t letting her down in that department. No called Slayer was left to fend for themselves. If nothing else, that would be her legacy.

She reached for the body wash and a washcloth and began scrubbing. Her skin turning red beneath her hands. She’d tried to go back to sleep after Kennedy called but it’d been impossible. She’d gone down to the training room instead, running laps around the track and hitting things, hoping she could make some sense out of the girl’s story. She’d worked up a sweat but hadn’t managed to work out any of her thoughts or feelings.

Nothing she’d said made sense, Angel was running an evil law firm? And Spike was helping? She needed more info. There had to be a reasonable explanation. Angel was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. She hoped. He could be really stubborn, especially when he thinks he’s right. She just prayed this wasn’t one of those times.

Buffy stepped out of the shower and into a fluffy pink robe. She put on some slippers and made her way down the hall to Willow’s room. It was time to check in with the troops.

She knocked on the door gently, feeling slightly guilty for waking the witch. It was still barely light out, but Buffy was feeling restless, and she knew it wouldn’t subside until she had some answers.

Willow opened the door a crack and despite the early hour, smiled ear to ear when she saw Buffy standing there, dripping water onto the hallway floors from her still wet hair.

“Buff! Come in, come in,” she ushered her into the room, crawling back into bed and patting a spot on the mattress for Buffy to sit down.

“I’m assuming this is about Spike. Did Kennedy call? I sent her the location of the payphone he called from. I knew she’d be able to track him down from there. She’s kind of amazing at that sort of stuff. Maybe she should go work for Angel what with the whole P.I thing he’s got going on over there…” Willow trailed off when she saw the troubled look on Buffy’s face.

“How’s your hacking skills these days Will?”

Willow’s face was thoughtful as she considered Buffy’s question.

“To be honest, a little rusty, but if you tell me what you need, I can take it to the coven and with our powers combined I’m sure we can crack it!”

Buffy looked relieved.

“Good. Because something weird is going on at Angel Investigations and I want all the information I can get before we make our move.”

“Move? There’s moves?” Willow asked, before adding gently, “are you sure you wanna go poking around in Angel’s backyard? I know you’re not on the bestest of terms these days but…couldn’t you just call him and ask? Or…we could call Cordelia?”

Buffy sighed. On some level she agreed with Willow. She should give her ex a little credit, one soulless escapade aside, he’d never betrayed her trust when it came to the fight against evil. It was the one thing she’d always known and respected about him, he was on the side of the good. But something Kennedy said was sticking in the back of her mind and making her cautious. She just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong here.

“Cordelia isn’t working for him anymore.”

Willow’s eyes widened at that.

Cordelia had been with Angel since the very beginning and she was fiercely loyal to him. Hell, Angel was loyal to her too. She’d made the mistake of insulting Cordy in front of Angel once and he’d gone completely apocalyptic. She didn’t get it, but for whatever reason, Angel and Cordy were a team. If they’d split up that meant something really bad had to have happened.

“I can rationalize everything else Kennedy told me but if Cordy isn’t on board? Something isn’t right.”

Willow nodded. “Ok, I’ll do what I can Buff, promise.” Buffy reached out to squeeze Willow’s hand. “I know you will.” She got up to leave but Willow stopped her. “How’re you doing? Really? I mean…I know dead vampire boyfriends coming back from the big unknown isn’t exactly uncharted territory here but…Buffy…are you ok?”

For the first time since Kennedy woke her, Buffy felt tired. The nervous energy that had been fueling her evaporated and she crumpled down onto Willow’s bed. The witch pulled her close and stroked her hair. “Hey, hey, it’s gonna be ok! We’re gonna figure this out. I pinky promise.” Buffy chuckled at that, rolling onto her back to stare at the ceiling. “Ugh. I know. It’s just…as soon as I think my life is settling down, things have to go all Avril on me and get complicated. I’m just tired.” Willow made a small sound in the back of her throat causing Buffy to jump up. “What is with the judgy noises?” Willow laughed at that. “No offense, but you haven’t exactly been making nice with the whole sit back and relax and smell the roses thing.” Buffy rolled her eyes, “yea ok point to you.” She smiled, this was nice. If Xander was here it would feel like old times again. “Alright,” Buffy said, extracting herself from Willow’s excessively comfy bed. “I’ve been up since Kennedy called, I either need to embrace the pain and inject java juice straight into my veins or take a nap.” Willow nodded and pulled her laptop out from underneath her nightstand. “I’ll get to research, it’s what we do best!”

  —————————————————————

Back in her own room Buffy’s body felt tired but her mind still raced. She burrowed deep down under the covers, willing her mind to slow. Slow it would not. Frustrated, she slammed her head into her pillow, trying in vain to find a comfortable position. As she lay there, trying to relax, she found herself remembering another night, in another lifetime when she’d been faced with a similar dilemma. The basement at 1630 Revello Drive, May 2003, the night before the biggest battle with the biggest bad. Buffy laughed as the tension she’d been holding left her body. “Oh, thank god.” Spike smiled, relief evident on his face, “I don’t know what I would have done if you’d gone up those stairs.” Buffy looked him in the eyes and knew he was serious, knew he wanted her there. Whatever connection she’d seen him have with Faith, they were beyond that. Besides, she’d had her own moment with Angel earlier. The world was about to end, again. It seemed silly to care about what might have been when she had this, him, standing here in front of her now. “You gonna spend all night gawking at me Slayer or do you want to try and get some kip?” Buffy started, and realized that yea, she had totally just been gazing dreamily into his eyes for who knows how long. Spike chuckled at her embarrassment and took her hand, pulling her gently to the cot he had pushed up against the basement wall. It was wild to think this basement had once been her biggest nightmare. Full copper re-pipe. Guess what Buffy from the past? It gets worse. She laid down on the cot gingerly, her body all too aware of Spike’s. She could feel him trying to keep his distance, a challenging feat given the size of the cot. She tried to slow her breathing, fully aware his keen vampire senses were picking up every rapid breath, every fast heartbeat.

Her ponytail was digging into the base of her skull but she couldn’t bring herself to pull out her hair tie. Instead, she tried shifting around, her leg rubbing up against Spike’s as she tried in vain to dislodge the knot of her hair from the base of her skull. Spike grunted beside her and wedged himself further against the wall. She laughed, this was ridiculous. What were they doing? Hadn’t she just been snoozing away in his arms after he confessed his undying love for her? Why did things have to be so complicated. They could be so close one moment and so far away the next. “Something amusing pet?” Buffy sat up and pulled her hair down. Spike’s fingers were suddenly there, massaging her skull and brushing her hair down her back. She sighed. “When did we get so skittish with each other?” “Did you just say skittish?” She gave him a little shove. “Hey! What’s wrong with skittish? I’ve heard you use that word like 5,000 bajillion times,” she looked down at him to find him gazing at her with a soft, distant look on his face.

“Yea, you have.”

Suddenly, she realized where his head was at. Likely thinking of all the times she had been skittish, running away from him, from his intensity, from their connection. She sighed and laid back down, hesitating for a moment before grabbing his hand and pulling it up to rest with hers on her chest.

She studied his hand for a moment, the long, unblemished lines of his pale fingers and wondered, not for the first time, if vampires could get calluses. She bet if they could Spike would soak and buff them away.

“You know, I kinda miss the black nailpolish.”

Spike chuckled, “yea? Tell you what, we survive this thing I’ll paint the lof of em, just for you.”

She squeezed his hand hard, the reality of what they faced in a few short hours settling deep in her gut.

She hated this. Hated the uncertainty and the insecurity. Why was the thought of facing down an army less daunting than a few hours alone with Spike? He used to be the easiest person in her life to be around. The one person she could count on to give her what she needed and accept how little she could give in return. Deep down she knew that wasn’t fair, but what part of her life had ever been fair? Every day she gave and gave and gave, was it so bad that she relished the moments when Spike refused to take? Sure, she knew he wanted her to love him, but it didn’t change how he felt when she couldn’t. He didn’t run away because she couldn’t be exactly what he needed. He understood how little of herself she had to give at times. He understood and he never left…at least, that was, until he did.

She looked up at him, his blue eyes as clear as ever. He untangled their fingers and brushed her bangs away from her face. The tenderness made her heart ache. It also made her want to run.

She’d let her guard down once before, accepted him as one of the team. No, more than that. She’d trusted him with her family, with her life. And he’d hurt her and then he’d left. Just like her dad, just like Angel, just like Riley. She knew it wasn’t the same, knew it was so much more complicated than that, but a part of her didn’t care. It felt like a betrayal and it stung. And then, just when she’d started the get used to the idea of him not being there, to get used to the idea of doing this whole thing on her own, he shows up. And she can’t even be mad at him because he needs her. In a way Spike had never needed her. It made her resentful. So, she kept him at a distance, just like she did with everyone else. And then of course he went and stood by her when no one else would, because no matter how horrible she is, he’s Spike. He’s still the guy who’s gonna stand by her side while the world burns down.

She rolls her body closer to his, breathing in the cigarette and grave dirt smell of him. That smell used to fill her with guilt but now it makes her feel warm, and safe. She wants to badly to lean into that safety. To let him shoulder the weight of her heart. She’s just not ready.

“You still with me Slayer?” Spike searched her face, concern etched between his brows.

She looked up at him and realized time would have to wait. Dawn was coming and with it, an army of berserker undead creepazoids. Maybe one day she could sort out whether there was enough of her left to love Spike, but for now, this would have to be enough.

“Will you kiss me?” her voice came out smaller than she anticipated and for a moment, she feared he’d shake his head, and tell her it was a bad idea. Her body tensed on the cot in anticipation.

But he looked at her, his face serious, and said “always.”

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As Buffy finally drifted to sleep, she realized that this time, she wasn't mad at him for leaving. She wasn't even mad at him for coming back and not coming to her, not really. She hadn't been mad in a long time, and with Spike, she didn't know if she ever would, or could be mad again. More than anything, she just wanted to see him. See him and see if always was still in the cards. Until then, she'd have this pit in her stomach, this "what if". If she wanted to truly rest, she needed to know, once and for all. Read Chapter 1 here