#IT WAS ALL WE GOT dont judge me
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WELCOME BACK AMMY MY BELOVED
#my art#okami sequel#okami amaterasu#okami 2#okami fanart#i cannot even BEGIN to explain how hype I am for this#the trailer was the prettiest thing ive ever seen#this game was my childhood#ive been waiting for 14 friggin years#yes Im counting the 3ds sequel even if it wasnt technically a true sequel#IT WAS ALL WE GOT dont judge me
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trying to play morality police in the trigun fandom is so funny, like how are you a fan of the "incestual sexual assault trauma" show and then be outraged to see incestual fanart. my preference is not them either but cmon guys the call is coming from inside the house
#disgust is not morality + what someone finds compelling in fiction does not equal their irl preferences#think about it: we do not assume everyone who plays shooter games will go out killing people (thats the narrative i grew up with and it was#ridiculous even then)#or should everybody who plays horror games be shamed for wanting to kill and maim and etc? should we go to markiplier and be like#“heeeyy so i think you liked fnaf SUSPICIOUSLY lot. care to explain yourself? 🤨 do you want kids to be killed and turned into machines.”#anyway back to trigun. disgust and outrage was (i think) the intended response to All That but you gotta let people play around with#the concept and dynamic. you do not have to understand it and you can continue to dislike it as well#(i certainly do bc i dont feel like it would make narrative sense)#but you cant play judge and jury on someone's entire self based on what they like to imagine#bc guess what. its that same disgust and anger response that is being exploited by right wingers in high power to make ppl support#discrimintory policies#(please believe me on this im hungarian)#anyway. this got too long. love and peace my final message#trigun#trigun stampede
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ready or not we're dog showin' this weekend 😅
#dogblr#rory borealis#stack#stacked photo#i got a little overenthusiastic with my thinning shears#but its a low light show so itll be fine#itll grow back 😅#we have GOALS for a baby:#1) befriend the judge dont be weird about it (rory not me)#2) hold a stack in group even briefly#3) dont demand bark ringside or in the benching#if she does all these i will buy her a little treat#and if she doesnt ill probably buy her a little treat anyway
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obey me + my mc(? or do u call it oc instead. idk)
#hi. i somehow got into obey me#dont judge#kyus art bag thing#belphegor#mammon#om! shall we date#obey me!#honestly i was kinda put off by how easily belph.. got rid of his hate for the mc?? like all they had to do was reveal that they were an-#-ancestor of lillith and then suddenly the mf was like omg im so sorry 😢i like you now#like???? huh????#so yeah i wanted more of an enemy to lovers kinda thingy#i think kuri (my mc) and belph would bite each other off (..both affectionately or lethally. depends.)
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I think, an important thing to remember is just to focus on today. Be aware how your brain may wander off and think way too ahead. But you're here right now, feet on the ground. Big breath in, and out.
You got this <3
#listen#dont judge#i just#need to focus on right now#so if youre like me#we got this#mkay sorry for all the not whump posts#i just wanted to put it out heehe <3#<3
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omg my head is on MARS cant remember if i mentioned our flakey 'friend' who didn't turn up to our mates birthday stuff in Bristol a few weeks back despite LIVING IN BRISTOL but it kinda pissed some of us off anyway she's not replied to my invite to my 30th party which okay fine whatever but then she's just randomly asked us when one of the lads we're friends with birthday is...... like girl why is that on your mind but not giving me a simple yes or no or even an i don't know yet answer!
#sorry there's more layers to all this#like her never keeping up with who she owes money to#and she said to one of our mates that she didnt want to come to the stuff in bristol because she's not drinking#and all we do is drink which is a fucking lie and actually kind of hurt#because there been loads and i mean loads of times where i've gone to things and not drunk#and never once has anyone made me feel uncomfortable about it#and i would never judge anyone for not drinking and i dont know where the fuck she's got that from#and she said thats why she wont come to meals out and stuff back home like ???? sorry there's always at least one of us not drinking#and she fucking knows that. anyway we said oh well the sunday is an alcohol free day#we went for a walk (something she enjoys!) and to a restaurant that didnt even serve alcohol#and she still didnt come to any of it! and then she text the girl who had organised everything saying sorry for being a bad friend#i think that should have gone to the birthday girl actually because its her birthday you're missing#and sorry i just think grow up! no one cares if you're drinking alcohol or not and there's plenty of things we do without it that she never#fucking comes to anyway#and i know its not just me being a bitch about it because it was even annoying our least bitchy friend in the world#tbh i dont even want her at my birthday after the weird stuff she posted when those riots were going on but still! have the politeness to#reply we've known each other since we were 11 ffs#stacey speaks
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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
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so now im sure she is the one who has been sending me anon hate about me being ugly.... 💀
#she said things like oh i would never send anon hate to anyone!!!#but ig ppl just say anything and then do it anyway 💀#ppl will just lie and pretend to be your friend to then use your insecurities against u#if she acted like a grown up and talked to me i wouldve listened#but that wouldve required her to listen to me tooand not just judge me#and ig she couldnt do that#so she took the easy route#like if i explained to her that yeah i felt abandoned by u bc u just stopped talking to me as soon as u got a bf#and then i kept talking to that guy bc of these reasons where i wanted to see if i could pick up on signs#bc being abused by my bf is one of my biggest fears i have#and she wouldve said iget that but i still feel uncomfortable. then i couldve listened to hger and decided if i wanted to keep making her#uncomfortable and hurt her or just stop. but she didnt say anything or try to communicate or listen#and now to see what a fucking shallow narrow minded view she has#is frustrating bc she hadnt even tried to talk or understand or communicate or explain her side#which is like ok that sucks but whatever i will just let it go#but then she keeps sending me hate abt what i confided to her abt and talk shit abt me and it is like#can u just let it go#just stop everything. lets just pretend we have never known eo or talked at all#anyway ig i dont wanna be friend w a woman who invalidates founded fears#like shes just the kind of woman who would tell her friends that#oh yeah your bf hit u just bc he loves u stop complaining!!#so ig this is good either way but like. ig she just assumes i was flirting behind her back#bc she cant comprehend a woman only being friendly with a guy#and like i didnt keep telling that guy im already in love w someone lmao 💀💀#gosh...disappointing. people are so disappointing#and childish and shallow and narrow minded. yikes
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sometimes I feel like there's a narrative on here that like. people who work and live not with their parents in their 20s are somehow privileged and its really annoying as someone with 0 family and 0 built in support system lol
#this has nothing to do with the previous post i was just reminded of some unrelated posts I've seen#like i get what people mean but i really dont consider it a privilege to have to graduate at 16 and immediately start working to pay rent#causing a severe worsening of ny physical and mental state so that i can afford to eat#and i would just like to say for the record that id never judge someone for living with their parents because im so envious lmao#just like. of the idea of having parents that would take care of you. ive always been so fascinated by that#because my sister got married at 19 to get out of the house and then depended on her husband bc she also has trouble#working due to disability. were both physically and mentally disabled so we have that in common lol#and then she had to contend with becoming entirely dependent on a man who then had incredible power over her#and now theyre divorced and she has to try to figure out how to do all this stiff at 33 that our mother never taught us#and that ive figured out on my own over the past 7 years. and i just think damn i wish we had family lol#like maybe if we even had 1 relative who cared enough to like. check in with us even?? let alone help#thats always just seemed really incredible to me. and ill never really be able to wrap my head around it
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the really irritating part of being in math is i have all these nebulous beefs with things like "the division symbol" and "microsoft excel" and it makes being a hater very difficult because i cant adequately explain them to anyone
#personal#it's usually lack of precision or lack of verifiability that's the problem tbh#trained-in math instinct of 'if you cant show me every step of how you got that conclusion i dont believe you'#i know it was only economics 101 and i cant judge the entire field by just that but economics drove me INSANE#it was all like 'here are The Rules for how The Market behaves! :)'#and i was sitting there like SOURCE??????? PLEASE#theyd just quote milton freedman or whatever and im like PLEASE WHY DO WE TRUST THIS MAN#show me the invisible hand!!!! show me research or something!!!!!!!#it was like they were trying to have pure-math style theorems but economics is a real-world thing you cant DO that#heres the formula for- shut up shut up how do you know that#numbers do not lie
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quite interesting how someone ive never met and probably never will meet knows me better than anyone else
#just a load of garbage#really says something about me doesnt it#me and my trust issues#i mean if someone doesnt know who i am they can't judge me#the only person whos come remotely close to knowing me that well is sarah#then behind her is jade#god i miss jade#im literally seeing her on sunday but chances are she'll be the same as last time#ignoring me bc her phone is more interesting#anywho#can we just notice how the only person ive trusted since december is someone i dont know#hm what happened in december i wonder#oh yeah#my auntie got killed#and why did she get killed#cos she went to israel#which i found out when?#after she'd been dead for weeks#maybe i dont trust people cos it seems like no one trusts me#even though i know they do#or at least i think they do#god who even knows at this point#i sure as hell dont#oh did i tell yall ive started praying again#everythings gone to shit so may as well hope for divine intervention#probably wont work but gonna try anyway#maybe the big dude in the sky does care after all#dont mind me yall
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me when i am faced with the reality that other ppl esl my 'old' peers are smart. or rich or at least very financially well off. don't have anxiety. are achieving things. or sometimes all 4 simultaneously
#idk like genuinely i dont want or care for any of tht#like being financially secure enough to just fuck off n live in solitary peace is alll i need#not necessarily not working but like at the end of day it's just me doing what i love with whom i love (myself)#but it's i guess always tht back of my head#how i was apparently deemed very smart all thru school#top grades from day one of primarg until at least like form 3 of secondary#and even after#but it's like now im stupid i cant even write my thesis#n im not doing anything with my life except trying my hardest to escape it#n it feels like everyone is judging me#like aha yh we always new u were stupid n wld nvr amount to anything look at me now and look at u#ipuve got ur karma u mean little bitch n u deserve it hahah#lmao#ignore me#cloud nonsense
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《《 3nough about 3v3ryon3 3ls3 how cring3 ar3 th3 mods p3rsonally 》》
☆ we have a sketch drawing of mod karkat from bfrj ☆ drawn by yours truly ☆ that we pass around in group chats ☆ to make fun of mod viperfish ☆ because it makes him way angrier than it should ☆
☆ mod beta has a flush crush on mod anchor ☆ shes been crying nonstop about mod anchor being on beforus ☆ and not online ☆
☆ sucks for her i think mod anchor has a thing for the alleged cherry blooded mutant she culled ☆ beforus style ☆ so mod beta doesnt stand a fucking chance ☆
☆ and mod trout writes rpf fics ☆ of people we work with ☆ and then prints them out ☆and asks us to proofread them and give feedback ☆ so they can improve their work ☆ they have several long term updating chaptered series ☆ like ongoing ☆ my favorite is the zombie one ☆
☆ as for me? ☆ well ☆ im just based ☆ and i want to pail mod viperfish who said that ☆ who said that ☆
#must have been the wind#anyway look anon#im not pretending were all the beacons of based and bespoke here#but you cant pretend this shit we give you night and day isnt fucking weird and cringe as shit in turn alright#maybe the real cringe was the blogs we got blocked by along the way#or the fake hic blog#that still gives me the creeps#mod seastar#hatemail#outright deranged#if you guys saw him in person youd get it alright#dont fucking look at me like that#dont judge me
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good luck w the testing and a happy early new year!!
thank you it's already happened when this was sent but we all did get one free point for the listening section bc the audio fucked up and we didn't get to hear the part with the last question's answer. but I will now think this is luck borrowed from the future when this ask was sent
#bakuspeech#ask#I tweeted a storm inbetween the written competencies (morning) and the speaking test (afternoon) lmao#but its on my wretched personal acc so it's for me. it's just for me#I dressed. and this is not me being unkind to myself. like a mister bean character to that test. like I got a woolen suit jacket on#with the dress shoes of mismatched laces. AND Ive been bald recently#honest to gods can Not tell how well I did in the written tests. like I finished all of them with at least ten minutes to spare#but it's because they kept putting a giant timer on the projector screen and it scared me so bad. delf trauma#the content of the test itself I straight up. dont know if its any good#the thing with me. that u can probably tell by idk looking at me and hearing me talk and stuff. is that I speak english but I am#VERY bad at tests#which makes any formalized english testing for me extremely fucking funny#and like it's supposed to be in the same structure as an ielts set of questions and apparently that means#they kept asking me to confirm or deny that the author of the text agrees with the statements they got in the questions#and I was sitting there like okay you made me read about weird phrenology shit and then you ask me this?? like are we asking#textual or contextual or. how deep into the rhetorics are we talking here. cause two of these three authors are certified weirdos#(yes the reading segment had three texts. one was about physiognomy and how there was definitely a grain of truth in there#one was about tea - this is the inconspicuous one - and the last one was about the potentials of toxinology#with a general vibe of pseudomedicine zeal to its writing. it's probs from a family magazine or something)#so straight up yeah I can defend my quiz answers to a judge but that does Not mean it's gonna be the one on the answer sheet yknow#kinda the same with the writing segment. where like they gave me an extremely easy to expand on subject and then a piece of paper#the length of a receipt. and that just. I could NOT parse the expectation of that setup#like I saw that and was like. so do you want me to do it badly? or do it so excellently I deliver all I think in like 100 words or less?#cause I'm capable of one of those things and the distinction is important here#and like. yes I know it's a language aptitude test. they're looking to know if I speak english#and I Have done something like this before multiple times just with a different language. but that was. idk I have never had a ladder here#I know I speak the language. YOU can probably tell I speak the language. would this test's result reflect that? I don't know!#it's a baffling experience. I'm still thinking about it the day after. tldr it's really not about the english for me it's about the testing#it's so. it's reflected so clear in the listening test where I missed an entire question (other than the one they gave us for free) bc#my brain just noped out of my body for three seconds and when I yanked it back the tape's already moved on
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when i was a teenager my grandmother gave me dozens of skeins of yarn that i was absolutely thrilled to have but i was saving to be a better knitter and my mom threw them out before i ever got the chance (which is still to this day absolutely heart-breaking to me. like. round needles, all sorts of different types of yarn, every size needle imaginable, all gone) BUT today i was going through my grandmother’s probably three hundred sewing patterns and she’s absolutely thrilled that im at least attempting to have an interest. i am so enamored that she kept everything because truly nothing they make today is anywhere near as good and i just. ugh my grandmother has so much incredible stuff. i love that i get to share with her
#the knitting supplies thing was likely because I didn’t help my mom at all when we moved so like it was kinda my fault for being such a#spoiled and unhelpful child. so don’t judge her for giving the stuff away. just mourn with me all the nice supplies I will never have 😪#dont reblog#life of a boomerang#also I think I’ve been giving myself the wrong dose of medication but no where in my psychiatrist’s notes does it actually say a dosage#different than what I’ve been taking#so I’m like. are her notes lies or is my memory a lie?#cause I’m usually pretty responsible about this which is why I didn’t personally write anything down (idiot move)#but I literally cannot remember if I’m on 120 or 60 and I’ve only been taking 60 and I’ve felt absolutely awful like just goddamn awful#and I think it’s cause we finally got the dosage up to 120 like a week or two ago and i just accidentally packed my meds wrong#but the dosage information on the prescription says ‘60 once a day’#SO I DONT FUCKING KNOW#cause sometimes psychiatrists just don’t write it in correctly#but like that’s fucking dumb#GIVE ME THE CORRECT INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE#i need to just email her and ask but that’s embarassing
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This semester's summary: existential crisis, existential crisis, existential crisis
#ah and 💸💸💸#so im always good in words compared to action so theory is not bad but my skills is lacking#im aware of it but im always a bit slow to catch up and all and that's one of my biggest insecurity#anyway today we had our last review skills session and i was unfortunately standing nearest to the trolley#so i was selected to do the tracheostomy suctioning and boy thats one of the skills that im really bad in#and i was struggling so bad and im shaking and my group has the top students and while i give no fuck you can see how they judge me#and the person in charge for that section is a master student who is having her assessment and i really dont want her to get bad results#so more panic and insecurity#but throughout the session she still guide me patiently and even say like its okay youre doing great and all#and by the end of it i got the grip of it but i was so upset with myself and regret everything#but then she lightly touch my arm and said its okay youre doing really well when i obviously fucked up#and then i just.. cried#what a good thing i wear a mask because two of my course mates are tested positive today because damn#and i keep on pretending to wipe my glasses when i was actually hiding my tears like damn this is embarrassing#but... i really want to thank her personally but i cant even talk just now and i dont even know if i will meet her again#because i really am doubting myself lately and that word is really comforting and i really needed to hear it#god 2nd year sucks i didnt even cry throughout my first year even when i did the worst presentation of my life and look like a dumbass#i always rant here you guys must be sick of me lol#personal.txt
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