#IM SORRY YVES LOL

[kaoharu]

actually being asian to me is having been made fun of for lots of asian things i did before it got cool and now its like. hrmmm ok white people

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

We're the baddest bitches on the block ✨

[pigeonxp]

helloooooo!!!!! my name is paige, or pigeon! this is my intro post which will be edited as i gain new interests!

they/she/he pronouns

my current main interests rn are dimension 20/dropout, 9-1-1, and loona!!! if we share any fandoms (or if u like all 3 😳😳) id love to be mutuals !!! u can read more abt my interests below 😁😁

DIMENSION 20

☆ my fav campaign is fantasy high, but i also love neverafter and acoc, basically any intrepid heroes (i also love all the others too, burrows end my beloved)

9-1-1

☆ if u havent gotten it from my bio, i am an eddie diaz fan!!

☆ buddie shipper

☆ i am openly anti tommy and anti bucktommy, and i will be tagging as such. if u dont like that, please block me or those tags bc i dont want to clog ur TL with shit u dont like

☆ im a very big jokester, barely anything i say is genuine or serious unless i say it in the post or tags. most of my posts are just for laughs.

☆ BUDDIE PLAYLIST LINK:

LOONA

☆ STAN LOONA

☆ i am an ot12 forever and always but my bias always changes, but my usual underlying biases are always yves and haseul

☆ i dont post much abt loona, but i do every now and then so!!! keep on the lookout lol

MISC

☆ i am a HUGE los campesinos! fan and other indie bands

☆ i like nintendo games, specifically pikmin

☆ i am an ocean lover and a space enthusiast

☆ i love reading and listening to music

☆ i am a wwe fan also i will prob be posting abt that a lil bit too!! please talk to me abt it 😁

☆ if you scroll down far enough i was an mcyt blog for a while and i dont really post abt it, but recently ive been really into lifesteal and unstable universe (specifically been watching wemmbu and princezam)

☆ as a side note, half of my posts are in tags. u need to read my tags to get my whole opinion its chronic im sorry lol

it is LOVELY TO MEET YOU ALL !!!! 😁😁😁

btw my twitter is @/eddiegirlism ! ive been posting a lot more over there recently so if u have a twt u can follow me over there too !

[suddencolds]

sending u a star!! ⭐️ sorry i wanted to go thru and pick a specific fic but im too sleepy lol but any yvescent piece u had thoughts on :D

[from Fanfic Writers - Director's Cut]

hello!!! THANK YOU N, IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO RECEIVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹

I also realize am responding to this like 2 months late :') I thought for a long time on which fic to comment on, and now that I've posted Atypical Occurrence pt. 2, I thought I might as well write out my thoughts on it while they're still fresh and bc it's close to my heart (I hope that's okay hehe)

—

⚠️❗️ Warning that I will be attaching snippets from my deleted drafts below!! Please read the published installment before you proceed to read this post. This is a little embarrassing... all I can say is that those drafts were deleted for a reason 🥴

—

There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment. 

I rewrote this scene... 3 or 4 times? It gave me sooo much trouble 😭 I think in the first draft Vincent actually tears up tasting Yves's cooking. (I know, Vincent, I want Yves to cook for me too 😭❗️)

Terrible (ugh 😭) first draft screenshot under the cut (screenshot = old draft, indented quote = current draft):

(Yves pulling up a chair at the end... you can tell he is totally at a loss on what to do 😭 and I, too, was at a loss on what to do)

I wrote this ^, and I was like... this moment just feels unearned? I personally despise outlining + I love going in (mostly) blind. Sometimes the first draft works out of the box, and in this case, the first draft (and the second draft, and the third draft) were all soooo bad that I literally had to take a month-long break to regain my confidence 😭

Anyways! I knew right away that Y was going to cook something for V (it's mentioned here and there throughout the series that he is a really good cook 😭 And in part 3 of Fool Me Twice, Yves promises to make Vincent something more ambitious than hot chocolate. He's finally kept his promise now, 12 installments later 🙇‍♀️ )

From draft 2, there was only one scene which I was sure I was going to include in the final draft, aka, spared from the recycling bin. (But I just checked the final draft and it's nowhere to be seen?? Interesting.)

I would have managed fine on my own.

On this (deleted) scene, and more broadly: I think it's important to me that Yves recognizes that Vincent is self-sufficient in many ways: when Vincent says he will be fine alone, he is telling the truth. Yves doesn't have to stay—he recognizes this too, when he heads for the door in the published draft.

Still, Yves stays, of course—initially, because he insists, and later, because Vincent asks :)

“…You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question. Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.

It was really, really fun writing the differences between caretaker!Vincent (in Fool Me Twice pt. 5) and caretaker!Yves 😊 I usually don't like to say too much on the end of character analysis, bc I like my work to be interpreted as it is: the text is canon, and everything I'm saying here is just me yapping on about my headcanons. (I have been roasted for saying this by a dear friend of mine, probably rightfully so:)

With that disclaimer: Vincent to me (I can only speculate, etc) is a very no-bullshit caretaker (he likes to enforce whatever will lead most directly to the person's recovery; he actually worries a lot, but his worry often manifests as frustration/snappishness), whereas Yves is a lot more permissive and, for the most part, manages his stress—he is the eldest sibling, after all! I think he does what he can to make it a more tolerable experience :)

“So this is just a Yves thing.” “What? Showing consideration for my friends?”  “Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.” “I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.” “Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.” Yves supposes this is true.

Vincent takes things very literally (and I think he's actually quite aware of the social niceties around these kinds of things, which is in part why he is so skeptical to assume that Yves means anything more.)

There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging. Yves goes very still. When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned.  “Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”

This scene means a lot to me!! It took a loooot of editing to hammer into place (the doc I wrote it on is titled "fixing this scene would FIX ME" haha). I think this is the first time Vincent has actively sought out Yves's comfort 😭 And he regrets it almost as soon as he's said it, because he does not do things without a good justification, and wanting something—even wanting it badly—does not feel like a sufficient justification to him. But give Yves an inch and he will take a mile!! He will take a hundred miles!! That is just the kind of person that Yves is.

I was talking with some friends previously about how I wanted to write Vincent reaching out for Yves. How I wanted Vincent to, through the haze of fever, cross a line that he'd previously not allowed himself to cross :') I think it is a time-old trope to have someone, in their feverish delirium, utter something embarrassing and utterly uncharacteristic of them, or divulge something that has been difficult for them to say.

This whole time drafting, I was thinking, how can I set up a moment like that and have it feel earned? How badly would he have to be feeling? What kind of setup would justify getting past his 590859 mental defenses? (I do not like to outline, but sometimes I do have an emotional beat that I have in mind, and then I have to work backwards to figure out the setup. This took SO much working back from, and I really thought about it for very long). I was almost sure that Vincent would regret it immediately after too 😭

Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”

Ahh, so Y offering V a hug is inspired by a fic I read 6 years ago, where a character offers another a hug as a joke and then the other character surprises them by taking it. Yves is really offering here, but I think he recognizes that joking about it will make it easier for Vincent to accept 😭

Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.

I have nothing to say about this paragraph except that I edited it for like 40 minutes straight.

Last thing!!

“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows.”

The scene near the end (where Vincent tells Yves about his childhood) is actually the scene which came the most easily to me. I also did not write it last; I jumped around. It took me around 1.5 hours. (By comparison, simply editing the scene before it took 11 😵‍💫)

I did always intend for Vincent to disclose... well, /something/ about himself. (You can tell that when I plan, that's really as far as I plan LOL)

Anyways, when Vincent wakes Yves up (after Yves falls asleep at his desk), I initially wrote it so that Yves wakes Vincent from a nightmare.

But (as direct a link to vulnerability as that might have been,) Vincent would not talk about his nightmare 😭 So I switched gears.

I also specifically wanted to write about Vincent's experience being cared for growing up. I think something that's culturally resonant with me (as an Asian American, and the eldest daughter to immigrant parents) is like, the ways families can and cannot say I love you—the quiet things that are done in place of a more direct expression of it. The way that while unspoken consideration can speak volumes, it can just as easily be invisible. But even now, writing this post, I feel like it's difficult for me to untangle the feelings and experiences I've had into something that feels sufficiently multifaceted.

Vincent has a different childhood from I do (it is probably worth noting that I do not project onto any of my characters, nor do I use them as a vessel to get my own experiences across). I think I'm just drawn to writing tricky/non-straightforward expressions of love, in general :) Sometimes that is the kind of love that resonates with me most.

[girlwhodoeskratom]

(sorry im still thinking abt ysl) i find it so funny that yves hated tom ford and did everything in his power to ruin his time as the director of YSL Rive Gauche considering every collection that Tom put out looked SO much like what Yves' original ready-to-wear vision was.... yet he was still pissed lol

[pumpkinsy0]

Tim & Darry headconnons plz (Can it both be friendship and relationship.)

Im sorry its just their both my favorite characters and I ship them in a friend way and if they were dating way.

Friendship:

How did they meet in school, like who spoke first and introduced themselves first

What did they both do after school and where did they hang out

If they had other friends in the school they went to (I would like to headconnon that Tim and Darry had like a little gang with their friends in school [Tim and Darry were the leaders lol ] and they were like "The cool kids")

Relationship:

Their first date and how did it go

All them years of being together i feel like Darry would get a ring for Tim ♥ and would propose to him in a date in the moonlight 🤭

And if they can get married; where will the wedding be who will be the ring boy and flower girl and what theme will the wedding be (im sorry, i thought this will be cute ♥)

And since they are married; I feel like Darry would recommend that they should have kids and Tim would get embarrassed (Adopted children Ofc ♥)

I feel like they would be a cute family of Three 🤭♥ And they have 2 Daughters and A son (You can come up names for the children)

IM SO SORRY TO WRITE SO MUCH😭 I WOULD LOVE TO SEE WHAT YOU COME UP WITH THO😭🙏🏻 (AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE WHAT NAMES YOU CAME UP WITH FOR THE CHILDREN)

OF COURSE!!! now b warned im not a tarry shipper so pls dont put my head on a stick if i have a hc that may not b what u wanted i apologize </333

and dont apologize for shipping em ur so real for that🗣️🗣️‼️💯

friendship:

•darry actually talked first!!! there was a school project and bc they were rlly intimidating (curly bc he was pretty much a jock and tim just bc hes scary) nobody went up to them to ask so they didnt have a partner and so darry just asked if he wanted to b partners for it

•after school they hung out at darrys place since tims parents argue quite a bit and they worked on the project but eventually they started bonding over their siblings and it snowballed

•they did have friends and they did have a gang of friends but like they were “only school” friends, like they wouldnt rlly hang out outside of school if that makes ANY lick of sense

relationship:

•it actually went pretty well, they have pretty similar lives but they both have a different way of handling it so i think theyd connect on some level

•i actually feel like they would have the MOST expensive wedding cause well theyre broke lol BUT i think it would like b a small wedding in an isolated place

•angela AND pony r the flower girl/boy☝🏽☝🏽

•as for the theme??? like i said theyre broke most likey their wedding is unintentionally diy pinterest mom themed /j

•NO BUT FR wedding theme probably like nighttime forest themed kinda

•as for the name of their kids, i feel like it would b common haitian names cause im the biggest haitian shepard enthusiast known to man (the kids names r annette,valérie, and yves)

and no worries for writing sm i love answering asks its never a problem🙏🏽🙏🏽

[california-112]

TLG: E02 'Live'blog

TL;DR - I'm not entirely convinced I understood this episode, but it was a pretty fun ride nonetheless, and we've got a new friend out of it! Not another Gunman, but just a kinda. Pet idiot I suppose. Also, I have had my first tiny sip of Lone Gunmen h/c and am already wanting more.

Knocked out guy. Japan?

Whaling?

FROHIKE???

Damn son gettim

The extended airtime. This has to be a videogame right

This is just not Frohike's voice lol

Oh wAIT WHAT? THAT WAS REAL LIFE?

Oops

Ass to the face lol

CREDITS SEQUENCE!!! :D

I dislike the theme tho

Oh wait I take that back. This theme kinda f*cks its just that the opening is unnecessarily redneck

Balcony golf?

You're seriously waiting until now to put the silencer on.

Tiny mouth man! Is dead.

Litearlly what was the significance of that lol

They're needing credit for their own papers 😬 ;-; Besties I'll buy a copy...

LONE GUNWOMAN OF THE WEEK??? 🤮🤮🤮 Langly I thought better of you

What happened to actually using the ten million locks on the door

Not this woman again

I have every respect for Byers wearing only suits.

Their very own mystery machine...

Awww they all share the bench seat at the front <3

He would be very ill from ingesting that much gasoline. Like not 'lets go on a roadtrip' more like 'lets get to the hospital'

Langly literally what are you wearing.

Oooh no its a granny square cushion I get it. Sorry Langly

Yeah called that one

"Good grief...!" Every day I love Byers more

Bet ya he washes all the signatures off

CALLED IT

Tigger Woods...Hundred Acre woods?...

The van has a periscope?!?!?! Love

Oh yeah like Mr Bond or whatever didn't notice that the only other vehicle in the car park was a suspicious whited-out campervan

That's a f*cking close tail guys. You're only just in the two second rule let alone visual range

Heart monitor?

I have been given a glimpse into the world of Lone Gunmen hurt comfort and must now have moreee

Oh oof. Langly is not doing well this ep.

Wait it's not even a bench seat. It's two seats. They just sit three abreast because theyre besties

This music yesss

"Our glasses are never empty" surprising take on that that I hadn't thought of before

Ah yes the classic 2001 unpassworded computer

The assassin???

Montage yasss

Langly you're on thin ice oh wait no it broke

My boy...

"Are you talking to Byers, should I call back?" 💀💀💀

More evidence for bi Frohike truthers... (me)

NOOO MY BOY

Oh ok good. Well not good but y'know. Not too bad either

Oh...he's putting it together...

Wait is this the office the other guy got killed outside

"He was thinking with his heart not his head" 🥺

They're so concerned for eachother its adorable

I'm starting to like Yves a bit actually

Awww Jimmy :(

The way Frohike doesn't even come up to his shoulders 💀

TELL 'IM BOND! GET HIS ASS!!!

NOOO

Love me some Russian practice! Didn't really get a word lol

Get it Yves

You'll catch him??? Really???

Oh I understood that! :D

Wait, wait a moment. Is this the house from TXF S01E12 'Fire'???

Oh Langly actually did make it up to her :)

They don't even have gas money :'(

They had to push it all the way back LOLLL

The papers!!! Yay!!! Good boy Mr Bond!!!

[teacorgi]

not a good pic but putting here for archival purposes x3

dusted and rearranged the virche shelf so here's how it stands as of Right Now :0

i liked having it split down the middle w/one side for ankou n one for lucas but the sweets standee was sooo big it totally unbalanced their sides so... for now, intermingling.

yves is still hanging out amidst them both tho bc hes good boi.

ALSO. the really soft and cool flocking on the winter market standees??? if u try to dust them with a duster... they will simply grab all the dust off the duster itself. i had to break out a garment lent brush thing to clean them -w-;;;;;

oh. while i'm archiving this stuff...

the other day i rearranged the top of this particular shelf and it is a MESS ( and. still dusty. shh. ) i need to get... some more risers or... finally replace my other shelf idk.

AND.

the orlok shrine as of the other week :3

im just missing a few standees + his bday panel which is scary to think about LOL. i didn't start collecting his stuff with the intention of getting it All but i guess it's looking like that's my eventual end goal here... the purple flower lights i picked up at easter at michaels were just the perfect match for the heart shelves, they're his purple and everything too !! ;_;

anyway as of rn that is where these three particular shelves stand. sorry for throwing such a long post on ur dash but i like to look back at this stuff later on so >:0

[mikuhats]

Ten People I'd Like to Get to Know Better ( i got tagged in this like 3 weeks ago i kept forgetting)

tagged by @lemonlimestar

last song: decode by paramore

favorite color: green >_<

last book: slaughterhouse 5 but i havent finished it LOL i havent picked it up in like a month

last movie: helter skelter like uuugh such a bad last movie seriously i did not like it that much at all

last TV show: arcane ✌

sweet/savory/spicy: sweet 4EVA

relationship status: Im probabvly aromantic but i have a job so idc abt that right now

last thing i searched: orianna from league of legends sorry i didnt know who she is

current obsession: my comics + league of legends SORRYYYY FUCKKK

looking forward to: finishing my hat im knitting... always looking forward to doing stuff w my oomfs... potentially going to dallas to see yves in concert w my oomf... idk......... my paycheck... even though its gonna be low bc i didnt work for 5 days LOL.. christmas ! i love christmas i love giving people gifts #yup

OK Im too shy to tag people So anyone can do this if they want Smiles

[kaoharu]

hi yves hi 5, 6, 13, and 24 + ciel dearvo for the character ask game? \o/

ask game !!

YIPPEEEE ciel ask . . . utc cause it got Long also sorry for taking ten billion years. yvelies are very slow and get distracted at times

5. what's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them ?

UH ache&deny for Obvious reasons but aside from his own songs , this is going to be a Really weird choice , but the dragon cave / rune prana final area ost from rf3/4 respectively lol . you uhh just have to see inside my wondrous brain 👍👍 i cant think of anything else atm 😔

6. what's something you have in common with this character ?

i feel like ive answered this question before w a similar ask game. i swear this has happened before . . . the human brain is so interesting /nm anyways uhh id say ❓️ maybe sort of. demanding in a caring way . if that makes Any sense i dunno i honestly dont feel very similar to him KSBJSJSJS

13. what's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot ?

i think hed like the like. closed eye kaomojis like ＼(￣▽￣)／ or smth . . . i dont think hed use them Often or anything but like he just wld and itd be mildly surprising but also ?? itd just make sense. i dunno im insane /silly

24. what other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them ?

hmhmm hear me out ( abt to say smth that makes no sense ) he vaguely . Very Vaguely reminds me of kaoru in a sense ❓️ esp as of late w their kindaaa cooler dispositions if that makes sense . . . theyre kinda calm and more mature than the rest of the cast in their respective series ❓️❓️ also they had rough childhoods tho for different reasons kjsnsjdjd Oh and Blue yeag /silly

[ask-ikepriemma]

butterfly 🦋 and boba 🧋 anon where are you? why is it only me, the piggy 🐷 anon giving a few asks here 🥹 /j

anyway, another question...on ao3, i've read THAT threesome between YOU, LICHT, AND KEITH 🫣

so what im saying is...what do you think about this? what if...yves is watching you three doing it? leaving all blushing and being real flustered 👀

imagine you being sandwiched with licht and keith...how interesting 🫣

also...imagine yourself having a gangbang with ALL suitors. like they all fight over you, each of them claimed you in their own ways, some even turned possessive wanting you for themselves only showing the other suitors their love on what is theirs, all suitors treat you in different ways either gentle or rough even vanilla or bdsm, and i wish you luck if you'd experienced that. (with consent of course, im against non-consensual stuff-)

after that, ill give you a free wheelchair since im praying for you and your legs 🙏🏼 -- ♿

and remember, NO means NO 🫶🏼.

okay i wanna say sorry right now but...i don't think it's not the time 😞

i feel bad that you have to read all that and forced yourself to answer them...as i said, it's fine for you to not answer it okay 💟

- 🐷

Lol, Reminder that anyone can send asks anytime, just like how I can answer them anytime. There is no pressure~

Anyway~ Licht and Keith, huh? Quite the interesting combination if I do say so myself. 😊Bringing Yves into the mix, oh my goodness, that’s a tea party I will never forget~

Never in a billion years would I think making love while someone else watches to be something considerable. I’d get so flustered but I think that’s the point of it all. Everyone involved would get some type of rise from doing it or watching it.

. . .

Eh?

ALL THE SUITORS?!?!?!?

Oh my, oh my lord, whew… I’m not sure I will even be conscious when they are done with me… And with that many men, with their preferences on what part of your body they want to mess with, or how fast or rough they want go, not to mention how… deep, they will go… that will break you for sure, you will become mush in their hands even if some will be more vanilla than others.

Y-yes consent is good. You would need to prepare your body for all of that, holy moly…

[mohnikei]

Thank u so much for the tag @shubaka !! <33

nickname : irl the one i like most is Lu but people use Luci too, and here i dont think i have one? but Yves is good!

zodiac sign : aries

height : 1'57cm?? i think?

last thing I googled: about some side effects of my meds lol

amount of sleep: on week days 5-6 hours and on weekends it depends, sometimes 8-9 sometimes 4-5

dream job: a bit of what im doing rn but better: basically continue investigating but more focused on the area i specialized in and continue doing more art

movie/book that describes me the most: i dont know??? i always have a hard time with this type of questions

favorite song: this changes every week lol so rn i like Kiss me you animal by Burn the ballroom and Violet crazy by DPR IAN

favorite instrument: i would like to learn how to play drums or piano

favorite aesthetics: black or very colorful clothes with chains, spikes and/or straps, but also something a dnd chara would wear too

favorite author: i dont think i have one but if i have to say one, maybe Patrick Rothfuss? mostly bc i'm obsessed with The kingkiller chronicle

random fun fact: i think i never said it here but i also do cosplay!

Tagging @loveable-sea-lemon and @tangerinehunter if you want to do it! (Sorry if anyone had tagged you before)

hehehe starting another tag gamee

nickname : irl i dont rlly have one?? also dont think i have one here??

zodiac sign : cancer <33

height : 5'6 (168cm maybe??)

last thing I googled: the road toll from where we stayed at the beach to home

amount of sleep: bro like 6 then i was up for a few hours then 2 more

dream job: upper high/uni teacher (specifically english and humanities) but if not idk i just wanna sit in my room with my silly little guys

movie/book that describes me the most: movie would probably be ladybird it makes me so fdahfdhalk

favorite song: atm gibson girl by ethel cain (been listening to her album recently fdhlhfald)

favorite instrument: to listen to, i lovee the sound of orchestral string instruments in pop/modern songs. to play would be drumkit or guitar

favorite aesthetics: omggg so many but i love downtown girl/rockstar girlfriend (even tho i AM the rockstar and the girlfriend ehehe)

favorite author: as of now octavia e. butler

random fun fact: my favourite potato chip flavour is sea salt and balsamic vinegar

npt <3 @zzzzzzzzzee @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @literatureisdying @tellme-o-muse @recklessandyoung @holdmyteaplease @strawberryloveyyy @syzygy-yzygy @svnflowermoon @ineedibuprofen @august-taylors-version @a-portal-to-nowhere @qwerty-keysmash @judeisthedude @wastedonthesebutterflies @skeelly @trying-to-be-cool-abt-it @bookscorpion73 @mandythedino @personifiedgoldenretriever @notatypicalhumanatall @isitoversnowtvs @stopurlosingme @evermore-4-life @evazlana @giveuthemo0n and anyone else that wants to join <33

[yveni]

YVE opened discord for the first time in daysss and just saw your shrimp!!! SHRIMPTIVITIES 🦐🦐🦐 if you don’t mind me talking a lil in your inbox ehheh:

So the past week or so i was on a (barely) sm break (it IS hard) with not as much attention on focusing on my r/ship w god as i would have liked 🙃🙃 for context i was a lot more dedicated to it until halfway through last year when I had these major exams, like the results i would be needing for uni apps, and I slacked on my routine and haven’t been able to restart it since :((( I made it my New Year’s resolution to get back to it and it worked rlly well the first week! But then i fell sick and kept falling into a spiral of guilt (that I only asked Him for things like good grades or watching over my family ie a connection based on convenience) and hopelessness (cuz i started to feel like I couldnt rlly feel His presence in my life anymore) and now it’s Feb :/

but anyways recently I had this terrible fight w my parents and when I went to my room I tried to meditate a little to connect with Him but I was just too agitated and tired so I went to bed just holding my rosary (not exactly that, but the rosary equivalent in my religion) cuz I was so emotionally drained and I missed Him SO so much, and my dad came in a while later to apologise/smooth things over. this NEVERR happens and maybe it’s a coincidence but in that moment it felt like He was taking care of me again (not that He ever stopped) and I felt so so grateful and also a little terrible for ever thinking that He’d abandon me

JANDKSLLS im so so sorry this turned out so long I didn’t mean to get this emotional HEHEHE so you can ignore it if you’re not interested! I’ve just never rlly met anyone outside of my family who took religion as seriously as I did and I think i got a bit too excited shsnkdkd

anyways how have you been!! Anything fun happen recently? Did you go for the Jan 27 meetup/will you be going for any of the other ones?

-discord anon 👻

Hello !!

First of all, I do not mind getting long messages, it’s actually really touching that you think of me to talk to about stuff 🫶🏽

I think it’s great that you’re making efforts to get closer to God, cause trust me, I have felt exactly the way you described (missing Him so much it hurts and feeling distant/guilty about only asking Him for things), and I believe God responds to that. I’m not sure exactly which religion you have, but I think everyone knows I’m Christian, and lately in my bible studying, I have found so much scripture reaffirming the fact that God does see me, and I’m glad you felt reminded about that too. It’s so awesome how much He really does love us.

I hope everything is good with school and your parents and stuff !!

Oh and I did not go to the January 27 meetup, I wish I did lol but I am broke, and for the same reason I probably will not be going to any future meetups (at least for this year). Everyone had so much fun though and I had so much fun seeing all the pics and vids come in !!!!

[jejecchi]

as someone who will abandon yves for licht this hurts twice as bad

[barblaz-arts]

@nijuuuu pointed out the possible Snow White parallels with Yeojin, Choerry, and Yves, so this happened: Snowjin and the Seven Frogs

[myfirstandlast]

I ended up putting a basic outfit together and spent like half the concert staring at the back of ppls heads lol but I had sm fun just being in the crowd and screaming along with everyone hehe also the girlies put on the performance of their lives as always and are even more gorgeous irl than ppl say they are 💞💞💞 how was the concert for you?

they are absolutely gorgeous!!! honestly sometimes when they were talking i’d just look at like their knees to try and see them as totally real 3d people in front of me i needed someone to pinch me LOL the crowd energy for ptt was exactly what i hoped for it was great

im gonna use ur q to give a sum-up of the stupidly lucky night & what happened to me and my partner because honestly so incredible and so baffling and we both had terrible horoscopes that day so just wow. a lot happened lmao so i was getting picked up and my friend had to pick someone else up and my friend’s car ac didn’t work in the atl traffic so it was a HOT drive and we ended up switching to the friend’s car just to make it in one piece so we were literally getting there at like 6:30? my partner was already there and in line and they kept telling me i’m moving up hurryyyy come quick so we were rushing down the line and once i found them they were LITERALLY a couple people before the metal detectors. they had ritz crackers for me cuz i had only eaten grapes in the car lmao so it was me in my fairy wings squeezing past the barricades and stuffing three crackers in my mouth before i had to throw them away because we were Right There it was very chaotic. security checked my purse and asked what was in my mini bag and when i said makeup he was like “you weren’t kidding” LMAO i just really like to be over-packed and over-prepared. anyways we tried buying drinks and they told us they couldn’t sell to us without a wristband so this led to an extended run-around of miscommunications with multiple staff members thinking we were trying to spend $80 to upgrade to vip upstairs and then nobody could find the girl with the wristbands and it was basically up until the very last moment that we got through with that thank god. we actually did have regular seats upstairs so we were rushing to those and it was so crowded and so close to starting i started getting rlly panicky cuz i couldn’t tell where our seats were but it seemed like someone else was in them?? but i was rlly embarrassed to squeeze through the whole section and be wrong cuz it was cramped so we went to ask a staff member and by the time we got back the chairs had mysteriously cleared so 🤭

ANYWAYS OMG IM SO SORRY ITS SO LONG ALREADY but we were at the very edge of the section so those long chains of hanging speakers were literally in our faces and i was a little disappointed cuz you could only see a few girls in the front line of choreo at most but we were still really close and i was excited to be there so it was all good. they did their intro and stuff we freaked and then star started and we FREAKED top ten english kpop releases on my life. one of my absolute faves so we were totally engrossed and then this security member like popped his head over the edge of the section wall as we were screaming and was like “are you two together” and i said yes and all he said was “come with me” nothing else so i was SCARED i started getting rlly anxious that they were gonna say we kicked someone else out of their seats or we were getting escorted out or they were gonna be like actually you guys aren’t 21 (we are) and drinking illegally so you’re done idk i was just scared cuz it was so soon to when the show started i thought something was wrong. we had to literally like climb down the rows and we were led around the entire section and through the whole middle section to go to the other side and this same guy who is explaining nothing to us was just like put your wrist out and he started putting these fabric wristbands on us and then he leaves?? so we’re left standing at the corner of this section so i turn to another staff member and im like what are these for? and as he’s about to answer someone motions to him and he points down the section and the guy is at the other end calling us over MIND YOU THEYRE PERFORMING STAR THIS WHOLE TIME I CANT EVEN PAY ATTENTION we’re like crouch running to not block anyone i was literally singing along while running trying to be in the moment and then he’s at a table????? like the actual closest table to the stage next to the railing and he has us sit down and he says something to me i actually have no idea what he said but i heard “for now” so??? are we temporarily here?? are they finding us new seats?? why did we move?? but now the entire view is different like y’all we were opposite our original seats but you could see EVERYTHING i didn’t even know there was screen behind them until then. the girls were sooooo close oh my god. so we were at this table for a while eventually another staff member even showed us the qr code menu on the table like you guys can order stuff you know and they’ll bring it to you!! we were like ok thank you!! ?? so does that mean we’re staying here?? spoiler alert we DID stay there the entire show i don’t know what FOR NOW was about but the only thing that changed was around halfway through they had another girl sit on the opposite side of us and if anyone was at the atl show she was literally the girl screeching when it was silent for olivia to marry her she was fr rude but she was younger so whatever ig. but that was our view for the rest of the show we got a ton of waves yves looked over a bunch we got some hearts my partner was fucking losing their mind lmao it was so so fun. i just rlly felt devastated for haseul her seat was immediately below us and she kept standing up from her chair to do little bits of choreo during the songs you could tell she wished she didn’t have to sit down :((( and my melody it was her on the stage along in her sling like how sad omg…… but she rlly did her best they made the most of an awful situation for them and i rlly appreciate it they were awesome soooo in love