#IM SO BEHIND SOMEONE SAVE ME | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

0ne-eyed-ghost · 3 months ago

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DAY UHM. 13 I THINK. TRIO. I took AGES to finish these [And in between playing with my friends, it's been chaos diving into caves.] Feel free to use these yourself in-game! Tag me in any posts you make with my skins, I'd love to see what they're used for :] OBVIOUSLY DONT INCLUDE THEM IN ANY RACIST OR ANYTHING SIMILAR PLEASE. BE SENSIBLE

Weirdly enough I play as my Heart design and yet I'm the only fully competent player enough to be trusted to build us things, make the farms, ect. Without dying or killing the others like 10 times. It feels so not right in character HELP ME My friend who plays as Mind LOVESSS to beat us all with its fishing rod. Its past time? Fishing. Other past time? Apparently stalking and throwing us down pits! [... This has happened like 5 times save m-] MY FRIEND WHO'S SUPPOSED TO USE SOUL CAN'T YET!! BUT !!! He will eventually... :fire: His past time though is just. either following me around and getting things done , or obsessing over the chicken we've named Darrell. [Yes, After the official Darrell.] Proud chicken owner I suppose. We walked him like. over 1k blocks to the build location I decided on it took like 3 in game days JUST for Darrell to arrive safely. I was scared :sob: Anyway! Most recent thing we've done is just. well. I suppose MY most recent thing was ancient city raiding, I'm stupidly good at it :fire: BEDROCK SUCKS THOUGH IM STRUGGLING TO GET A FREAKING ENCHANTING TABLE :sob:

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tittyinfinity · 16 days ago

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contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk

#.bdo #i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year #can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow #and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings #i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made #& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing #like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back #i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong #i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified #that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling #i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here #it's also the only social media i use currently #but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post #just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all #it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real #i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing #shit than I've ever said #but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad #and i find out through public ridicule #well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale #last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends #called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong #and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of #i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again #almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that #but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on

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always-a-joyful-note · 11 months ago

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you know what was cruel and unusual of the i7 writers to do? to have Yamato, who hated his dad, try reconciling with him for the sake of others and getting back love and support while Sogo, who still loves his family in his own way, tries to reconcile with his dad for the sake of others only to almost have his career ruined and his close friend and partner nearly jailed for a crime neither of them committed

#the contrast was evil #you know whats also evil?#the izumi bros getting along so well and supporting each other and iori becoming and idol to pull his brother alongside him #while riku and tenn have a relationship wrought with friction and tenn leaving behind riku to save him #leaving behind vs pulling along to save your brother....#the subtle contrasts they give between characters makes me physically ill #the nuance they give to different types of relationships #idolish7 #fandom spamdom #note's notes #no wait im not done #its the way they said through yamato and sogo that you are never wrong for wanting to reconcile with your family #or for loving them even when they dont love you back #but sometimes youll find love and support waiting for you and sometimes youll almost be sent into isolation #jdisosjfeijrwerer someone protect osaka sogo from his family please

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girlivealwaysbean · 19 days ago

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i was clearing out my notes app (because finally getting a new phone yay!) and this entry from 2022 is so heartbreaking

#2 years and 1 even worse situationship later im still too much i still want too much need too much have there are claw marks #jn everything that ive been forced to let go of lol #saving this for later so hopefully idk 2 more years later someday ill be just enough for somebody #there's a whole list of reasons titled ' why we shouldn't get back together' my heart breaks for younger me #i mean i know i was still quite old at 19 but it was first ever heartbreak for me and i was so dilgent in getting over it #i kinda think that was the healthiest grieving ive done for a person not like perfect because i still fuckef up #and failed my exams and fell 6 months behind but still i let myself FEEL #all these recent ones are just one layered on top of another i see something that reminds me of someone and i break down lol #i begged and begged for a new phone but wow this phone has soo many memories it's been with me #from july 2020. lmao lasted longer than pretty much all my relationships #baby me made such a compelling argument logical fact based about why we shouldn't get back together #i used to be so earnest and obsessed with making myself better maybe it was self centered but it was better than #the self loathing dirtbag ive become. what happened to u girl #save

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girl-bateman · 1 year ago

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How does one get assigned as sam coded / dean coded ? Do I need a doctors note ? A psych evaluation perhaps ?

#i keep going back and forth on it #bc i used to identify with dean for the longest time bc i was so repressed and emotionally closed off (+older sister)#and at that point id spent my youth very purposefully protecting my younger sibling from our dad #and i guess in my brain i paralleled that with dean staying behind with john while sam took off for stanford #and dean protecting sam from knowing too much abt the supernatural #BUT having grown up ive now become the one resentful and angry at our father while my sister protects him #and our fights remind me a lot of scenes from the show where im obviously identifying a lot stronger with sam #plus the whole thing abt being the families designated academic or whatever #while also feeling cursed from the minute i was born and crushing at the guilt of everything wrong with me #and trying to be a good person and saving others to make for the fact that i feel an intrinsic evilness about myself #so like... yeah sam is very very relatable too in that sense #bc he also has that hope in him- the belief in god. in angels. in goodness. and i have that too !#im just also a miserable cynic at the same time :)#so ????#i havent been in the fandom for long enough to know the full requirements of being a sam or dean girl #(and by that i mean i havent been in the fandom for long AFTER i rejoined from my 10 year hiatus)#i literally would love to read someones page long explanation of what sam coded vs dean coded entails #someone with a spn hyperfixation or special interest needs to provide me with the goods fr 😭#spn

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alittleemo · 2 months ago

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mannnnnnnnbb fuck November I’m so tired of feeling lonely in my own life.

#lee’s bullshit #even being in [redacted] will not save you from the depths of November #trying to remind myself things are always changing and I can’t stop putting myself out there but I am tired.#what I am doing clearly is not enough in any respect and I am tired of feeling so worn to the bone all the time.#huge social miss today at the function. woke up late and ruined the schedule. couldn’t make a clear decision on dinner.#haven’t found a replacement roommate. haven’t finished my portfolio. haven’t applied to internships. haven’t finished my final project.#behind on everything and with every step I take I get pulled further and further backwards.#my roommate is graduating early and i feel like it’s my fault.#i shouldn’t blame myself for someone else’s bad behavior but im still beating myself up for being a cause for it.#my other roommate wants to move out to live on her own next year.#also blaming myself for that even tho its always on me to fix the mess of housing every damn semester #I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough and even when I am that it just simply doesn’t matter.#saw one of my friends today but only for an hour. texting the group is like sending a blind pigeon out in a gale.#I know that things will get better but it’s just so hard . if someone genuinely asked how I was doing I could cry on the spot.#none of my friends are close enough anymore not at home not at school not in my family. there’s nowhere to go.#just tired. Going to go to bed soon. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

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junkmailmusubi · 9 months ago

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yeah i'm just as sad (and slightly in denial) as every other agent 4 fan, but i don't entirely mind the idea of parallel canon being a copy instead of directly being 4. i feel like there's still some good horror/angst potential there, y'know?

#hear me out here.#you've encountered plenty of horrors already but suddenly you're facing this /thing/ that looks + acts almost exactly like someone you know #it makes stiff robotic versions of the gestures they always use. coldly taunts you in their distorted voice.#cries out in pain in their voice. and you just have to bury your sympathy and remind yourself that it's not them #a fake. a copy. a twisted mockery of the one you love.#you almost wish it really was them because then you'd have reason to pity it #but hope as you may there is nothing to save - to show mercy to - behind those blank red eyes. just a program.#a methodical killer made in an oh-so-familiar likeness.#okay im normal again ! i love splatoon 💛#for reference this post was made at 11:30pm. this is why i should never post while tired. the Evil Thoughts come out at night #splatoon #side order #marie's musings #⛺🪲

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sextions · 4 months ago

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me talking to m,y beautiful wife aggressive and harmful stimming

#art #i have broken nearly every chair ive owned cuz of this (including my current one it doesnt have a left armrest cuz of me :3)#i am currwntly nursing a knee injury from this shit #the bedframe directly behind my desk is in shambles #the most fun part is when i rocket too hard back or i like catch my foot on the desk #and the whole desk slams into the wall real hard at 2am and everything on it shakes and falls over #SAVE ME #luckilyyy i dont do it in public (because i dont blast music in my ears in public which is the trigger)#but even if i did do it in public itd probably be wayyyy less damaging lawl #when im not in a rolly chair and i do it my body just. stands up real fast. if i suppress it it just looks like i scooted forward real hard #so god forbid i sit my white ass in a rolly chair in public and someone starts playing bangers #shit'll be 9/11 2 #stimming #<- ?#i just want others to see it i dunno

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seilon · 5 months ago

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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah

con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines

#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm #as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which #usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips #and I couldn’t go in because well. you know #I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything #let alone take the bus and go to work #but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town #apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level #so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too #one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they #were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly #straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem #pretty significantly populated with queer ppl #I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda #meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer #or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and #makeup and gender fuckery and so on #and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them #and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my #friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out #that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone #3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been #hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when #I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted

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vault81 · 5 months ago

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fav part of phantom liberty is when you tell people you chose Songbird over Reed, and the people that chose reed tell you why you're going to super hell for believing her lies and how she's been manipulating you this entire time as if Reed and Myers haven't been shafting V ten ways to sunday the entire DLC as well

#“I wouldn't drop my man Idris over some random asian chick who used me for her benefits” said completely unironcally as if 'Idris' isn't #using YOU for his benefits as well #it's almost if...#the entire point of the expansion is... you're getting used and manipulated no matter you who side with...#and the only person you should trust/side with... is yourself..#gamers lets use our brains #i just had to vent that bc im so sick of seeing it #wait guys.. a female character is... complex? and... dare I say.. well rounded?#im gonna be sick..#im trying to keep this vague as well #just so i don't spoil much #i could've posted this to main but tbh i cba logging out lmfao #she's in almost the EXACT same situation as V someone so desperate for a way out/save herself she'll do anything #So Mi get behind me nobody gets you like I do #srry i keep editing adding more but I have THOUGHTS #SHE TELLS YOU THE TRUTH!!!!#In her most vulnerable state she tells you the truth!! not only because she needs V's help #but because she feels GUILT for using V like she's been hurt and used her ENTIRE life #especially by Reed Myers and the FIA!!!#srry again I could fucking GUSH over Phantom Liberty/Cyberpunk all day lmfao

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robotpussy · 2 years ago

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"you're just quiet because you have poor social skills"... no I'm quiet because I've been made to feel alienated my whole life hope this helps 👍

#also whats wrong with just. being quiet?#like ive always been the friend that is left behind and is left out of everything everybody else in the group does and #i can tell when ppl ask me to join in smth its like a chore for them so to save them the hassle i just hide away. I'm not saying i cant #hold a conversation but i can always tell when I'm talking to someone and they notice I'm 'different' not in a cool way but in a #'i dont think i want to be around you because you're probably neurodivergent' way. when i would have ppl ask me if I'm autisic #with disgust (to bully me) i knew thats probably how a lot of ppl who talk to me think of me so i just don't bother #i get alot of infantilising tones too like.... u don't have to talk to me like I'm a baby I'm grown just like you?#ive always been told its my fault ppl dont want to talk to me but i literally dont know what im doing wrong....#anyways i find comfort in being quiet 🙏 so i dont really care

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blvckleg · 17 days ago

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had the worst ocd day yesterday bc brain kept telling me if i actually let myself have goals or wish for something good then everything i already have will fall apart or be taken away even though i logically understand that isnt possible lmfao! and then i woke up sick this morning cant have SHIT in detroit bro

#bf was rlly sweet abt it he just gets frustrated bc he wants to help and give advice but im Too Self Aware and just need him to sit w me #he wants to fix it and he cant and ik that makes him feel bad bc he doesnt like seeing me go Trauma Mode and its not actually directed at me #its just that im so self aware that i already know what i need to do n it just feels like a lecture or a warning not to disappoint instead #like oh i know what i need to do im just Literally Paralyzed in Fear and scared everyone will leave me behind while i figure shit out!#like i dont believe in jinxing or that kind of higher power but SOME part of me does and cant accept that bad shit just happens sometimes #like no no see if i let myself admit that i maybe do want a life and a future and to marry the loml then it will all go away! bc reasons!#<- guy who had their identity stolen when they were already at rock bottom and couldnt cope w it so they developed magical thinking ocd???#like. if it can all be taken away when im at my lowest for no reason idk how id function if it happened when i actually HAVE SMTH TO LOSE #its the fact that it was for no reason. i didnt do anything wrong and yet everything still went to shit. why tempt fate by shooting too high #and i mean fuck i spent the last 10 years mentally preparing to be a poor laborer and self sufficient bc no ones coming to save me and now.#suddenly my bfs family is also my family and they have. money. money that id never even allowed myself to DREAM of having or wanting #and suddenly im sitting in a fancy house in front of a christmas movie lookin ass tree feeling like im living someone elses life bc i didnt #i didnt plan for this. i didnt think id ever have this option at all #like dgmw i am VERY grateful but im. having a hard time w imposter syndrome #shut up carter

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slimmestslime · 2 months ago

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i gotta get annoyed and gripped into updating my toyhouse. its genuinely been so long and im getting tired of sifting thru my photos for a specific piece again when i can just. use that site.

am i stupid

#been so long. since last ive seen my son lost to this monster #the man behind the Procrastination and Forgetting everything. slaughter #actually its less of procrastination and just. forgetting all the time anytime #also to the anon that sent me that ask to finish my banner like. 5 bajillion years ago. im thanking you to this day #because thats the only reason i remember i still have the project file saved #can someone send me a similar ask and hit me with a hammer to get my TH updated #^slimsqueaking

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beroidae · 2 months ago

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i need some sort of carrot on a stick to get me to finish my ochem report tonite it's not technically due until tomorrow but heaven knows if i wait until then i will literally never get it done

#txt tag #and then i have to catch up on like 2 weeks worth of notes for two classes .......................... save me someone save me #CANT EVEN BRIBE MYSELF INTO DOING WORK ANYMORE bc i get distracted while drawing and im like yaaay art is so fun [falls even more behind]

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iron-niffler · 7 months ago

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i have so much to do but the craft supplies is calling me...

#me: okay so got TONS to do summer classes are going ballistic and im very behind #my brain: hey y'know what your jeans need? embroidered swords #me: you son of a bitch im in #someone help #save me from my bad decisions #anyways back on my bullshit ✌️#embroidered jeans 2 electric boogaloo #sword edition cause...fancy lil fictional swords stuck in rocks #sarah stitches #but has SO many more important things to do

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radiotorn · 8 months ago

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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.

#ow.err #IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say #cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still #both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way #you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place #im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die #sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette #but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary #cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on #borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now #some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better #and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.

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