#also to the anon that sent me that ask to finish my banner like. 5 bajillion years ago. im thanking you to this day

[slimmestslime]

i gotta get annoyed and gripped into updating my toyhouse. its genuinely been so long and im getting tired of sifting thru my photos for a specific piece again when i can just. use that site.

am i stupid

[kayoi1234]

Hey, know any good Shield hero fanfic? I got recommend your fic Defined by Fields of Clover and It's A(p)parent but that's it.

Thanks for the ask Anon!

In the terms of general Shield Hero Recs, I have to do my own shameless plug of Honour Code, which is a Shield Hero and Fire Emblem Fates Fanfiction featuring me giving Naofumi 4 years worth of trauma. I have no idea if I’ll finish it but it’s there if you want to take a look.

In terms of other fics that are better and not by me though:

...Or Is He Both? by TheInfamousMan is a wonderful crossover featuring Bruce Banner (From the Ultimate Comics Timeline I think) as the Shield Hero. It’s a wonderful way of looking at the difference a character can make in a new setting. 

The Rising of the Four Heroes by Pretty_Lazy is an alternate universe where the four heroes already knew each other from the get go, so you get some wonderful moments between characters. Also, there's a whole conspiracy, a goddess of some sort makes contact with Itsuki and the OC in it is just a top notch guy. Please give it a read, it’s really good!

The Essence of a Hero by Xejis is about Motoyasu coming from a future-past where everyone is dead and he gets sent back to the beginning, much like the spin-off “Reprise of the Spear Hero”. Unlike the spin-off though, it takes a more darker and serious twist on the entire thing, going into the fact that Motoyasu would have trauma from his experiences. It’s only 2 chapters, but it’s looking to be a good read. 

Kinstugi by JustaBluebird is a take on the “imprisoned and enslaved” Naofumi that doesn’t just sugar coat the fact that Naofumi has been abused. It’s got wonderful prose as well, and it’s shaping up to be a good read. 

Hierophant by Hectatetheviolet is a discontinued 5+1 fic that focuses on Naofumi’s relationships with other characters. It’s a study into how Naofumi acts around others, as well as how other character view Naofumi. A very good read!

Potluck Picks by DBSommer is a comedy fic about placing different characters into the roles of the main 4 heroes of Shield Hero. It’s brilliant how one character can change the course of the story. Also it’s actually funny, unlike me who pretends to be, so give it a read!

Sword and Shield by Sturm_and_Drang is a humour fic surrounding both Ren and Naofumi and their parties who are forced to work together in order to overcome a “Friendship Dungeon”. It’s a brilliant read, and also contains the tag “Friendship or die trying!”

[eeveedel]

Hi all! I have been discussing this for a little while, but I have finally decided to open up paid fic commissions. I am currently facing down some expensive laptop repairs and the general expenses that come with being a broke ass college student, and I figured opening commissions would be a great way to make a little extra cash and also exercise some of my writing skills!

So, let’s jump right into how this works. All the rules/info are on this post, and also on my new official commissions page. 

(lovely banner by @louisalbumnow)

Prices:

Okay, let’s start with the nitty gritty. I charge $10 for every 1,000 words. After 5k words, my fee goes down to $5 for every additional 1k (so, a 5k fic is $50, a 6k fic is $55, 7k is $60, and so on…)

This number is based off of the fact that it takes me about an hour to write and edit 1k on a good day. In the state where I live, minimum wage is $8.55 an hour. The additional $1.45 is because the hours I will take to write fic will be taken out of my free time, which is limited.

What I will and won’t write:

For examples of my work, please refer to my ao3 page or my tumblr drabbles.

I mainly write One Direction fic, and am most familiar with those pairings, particularly Harry/Louis, but I am open to most pairings. However, I am willing to write about most media that has appeared on this blog, such as Marvel, Dunkirk, The Hunger Games, etc. If you’re not sure if I’d be open to writing something, just ask!

I most enjoy writing ABO, mpreg, scifi or fantasy, angst and historical fics. While these are my main interests, I am a pretty open book in terms of tropes I am open to writing.

What I will NOT write, however, is:

Smut with underage characters (ie: high school fluff and the like is fine, just no smut)

Underage/over age age gaps

Self harm and suicide (I am open to mentions of mental illness, but please talk to me about it ahead of time)

Non con, dub con, rape, or anything of the like

Torture

Heavy violence

Watersports or scat play

Bestiality

Cheating  

Incest

Teacher/student dynamics (not roleplay)

Character death

**Please note I reserve the right to turn down any commission request I receive, even if the content is not included on this list. 

You cannot pay for a preview of a fic I am in the process of writing, and you cannot pay me to include a requested scene in my upcoming fic. You can, however, ask for a fic set in the universe of one of my past or current fics, or in an upcoming fic project.

I am open to writing smut commissions. If you would like to commission a smut work, you must prove to me you are 18 or older.  

How to request a commission and pay:

DM me on Tumblr or Twitter (don’t send me an ask or an anon message, please!). Please have an idea of what kind of fic you would like, including pairings, tropes, and triggers/things you don’t want included, when you message me.

It would also helpful to me if you have an idea of the word count you would like/are willing to pay for when you message me. You can leave that word count up to me, but when the fic is finished, you will have to pay for however many words I ended up writing. (In other words, if you have $20 to pay for a fic commission, tell me that up front so I don’t write 6k and then expect $55)

I will also need your email and PayPal name. I will send your commission via email.

Payments are ONLY through PayPal. I do not accept gifts/trades, online gift cards, wire payments, etc.

You will pay me a down payment of $10 up front (unless you are paying for a 1k commission, in which case your down payment will be $5). After your fic is complete I will send you a message, and will send you the completed fic when you have paid me in full.

After requesting a commission:

You may request two drafts of the fic so you can check for potential changes you would like made before it is completed.

Please reply to my messages in a timely manner. Give me your communication you will check most often, whether that is Tumblr, Twitter, WhatsApp, email, etc. Please do not harass me for updates. I promise I will keep you updated in a timely manner.

If you cancel a commission before it is complete, or if I am unable to finish it, you will be refunded your down payment. You cannot receive a refund after I have sent you the fic – remember, you had options to review drafts to check if there was something you didn’t like.

I aim to finish commissions in a timely manner. However, keep in mind that I am a full time student and that my time is limited. I will let you know what my schedule is and how many requests are ahead of you when you commission me. It is up to you to keep those limits in mind.

Artistic Rights/Copyright:

I reserve the rights of all work created by me, as well as right to upload or distribute these works to my public Archive of Our Own page or Tumblr, unedited or with edits, which acknowledgement the piece was originally a paid commission.

You may not repost my work and claim it as yours on any website, including but not limited to AO3, Tumblr, or Wattpad. You also may not submit my work for academic or professional distribution, or for your own profit. I am sending you my writing on the understanding you will read it for your own pleasure and nothing more

These rules may also change as I gain more experience with taking commissions. Please be patient and flexible!

Well, that’s everything! I look forward to this new endeavor. 

Is anything here unclear? Feel free to message me for clarification before commissioning me! 

[buckywintersoldierbarnes2017]

A Hidden Pain - Part 7

Original request from anon: Could you please write a Bucky x reader where she works as the teams assistant? She’s got a violent bf but no one knows about it until he assaults her at one of Starks parties. Bucky steps in and kicks his ass. He helps her move out of her place to live with him since he’s got his own floor at the tower.

Note: Bucky is breaking my damn heart while writing this! </3 I also want to thank the anon that originally sent in this request as it has turned out to be an incredibly emotional story to write and I have loved every minute of it so far! Also I apologise for any typing errors...it is only me that looks over anything I write so there is every chance that I miss stuff :) Bucky x Abused!Reader (Steve x Reader) Words: 2,130 Warnings: Heartbreak, mentions of injuries and blood, language. Disclaimer: First and last GIFs are not mine so all credit goes to their wonderful creators <3 Second one is mine (apologies for the bad quality).

A Hidden Pain Masterlist

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

He couldn’t stop. He knew he needed to but the message didn’t seem to be transmitting from his brain down to his balled-up fists that were still pounding into Josh’s face. Not even as the Winter Soldier had he felt rage like this. The blood erupting from the wounds he was inflicting splattered onto his face, barely leaving any of his skin exposed, it was only when he heard a familiar ring tone playing out from underneath him that he stopped the deadly assault.

It was ‘Star Spangled Man’ – the song was assigned to Steve’s contact on your phone so he immediately knew who it was calling. Had he been in any other situation he may have even laughed at your choice but this wasn’t the time for that at all. Josh had taken your phone from you before bringing you to the warehouse and Bucky was just thankful that the idiot hadn’t lost it. He fumbled around in the pocket of his blood-soaked jeans until your phone was in his hand and he could answer the call.

“Steve it’s Buck! You need to get medical to my location…..NOW!” The panic oozed from his words as his wild eyes looked over to your lifeless form. His already broken heart seemed to shatter completely at that moment and the tears he had been holding back for you cascaded down his cheeks as he lost any and all resolve he’d once had. “…and hurry up otherwise you’re going to need to bring a coroner too. The bastard needs to pay for this.”

All Steve knew was that you had been taken from the secure room he had placed you into by Bucky’s cold-blooded assassin side, his call had been what he thought would be a futile attempt at getting hold of you, so when Bucky’s voice rather than Josh’s or the Winter Soldier’s came down the phone he was thrown into a state of confusion. He knew better than to waste time asking though; it was very rare he heard such a distressed tone in his friend’s voice, he had always been the one to pick him up when he had been low, so whatever had happened must have been really bad

“I will get Tony to locate your coordinates. Don’t do anything stupid Buck…”

He looked away from you and back to the bloodied heap he was currently straddling. He was breathing.…just, but he was barely recognisable.

“It may be too late for that.”

                                             * * * * * * * * * *

The quinjet landed just a few metres away from where Bucky was, the down-draft from it managing to move Josh’s unconscious form a few inches from the spot where he had been laying, you however were perfectly safe in the super soldier’s arms as he cradled you into his body.

Before the engines had even finished shutting down Steve raced down the ramp in his Captain America get up and headed over to the two of you. Once his blue eyes could take in more of the scene before him it wasn’t long before he saw the extent of your broken form and the empty shell that was his best friend.

“Buck…”

He reached out a gloved hand and placed it onto his shoulder as a heartbroken expression made its way onto his face.

“I did this to her Steve. I hurt her so bad and I didn’t even care. I beat her and yet she still took a knife for me. How could I do this to someone that I love? I’m no better than that piece of shit over there.”

“You are nothing like him Buck and you know it. He was fully aware of what he was doing to [y/n]. You weren’t in control at all.”

The light that had illuminated his friend’s eyes from the day the two of you had met was gone, extinguished by the grief he was experiencing. Steve knelt to be at the same level as him and went to place his hand on your neck when Bucky immediately moved you closer into him and sent a scowl in his friend’s direction.

“I just want to check for a pulse. I promise I’m not going to hurt her.” After a whole minute of debating whether he wanted him near you or not Bucky finally gave in and allowed him to place two fingers on your neck to locate a pulse. It didn’t take long to find it but it was weak, incredibly so, they needed to get you out of there as soon as they could. “[y/n] isn’t gone Buck, she’s still fighting, we need to get out of here okay?”

He nodded his head in response but it was still clear he wasn’t 100% there, Steve held out his arms to take you so that he could try and get his head around this but he point blank refused to allow him near you now that he had checked your pulse. This was his fault and he’d be damned if he was letting you go before he needed to. Instead he held out his flesh hand to Steve to get some leverage to help him up onto his feet as his bionic arm kept its hold on you.

“Don’t blame yourself for this Buck.”

If the broken man lay all the blame for this on himself it would make him just as unpredictable as those words did when spoken. It was you that had truly helped him to recover from his last stint of being the Winter Soldier, ease back into society, you were his anchor and right now that very thing that kept him grounded was fading away. Bucky didn’t respond to Steve’s comment as he walked up the ramp of the jet and sat himself down onto one of the seats.

Wanting to make sure that Josh was punished properly for what he did the blonde avenger grabbed hold of his ankle and dragged his unconscious and bloodied form onto the jet with him. Shield could deal with him once he had recovered.

                                              * * * * * * * * * *

“We need to get Agent [l/n] into surgery right away.”

Banner didn’t know Bucky as well as he did the others on the team but he knew enough to signal for Steve to take you from the super soldier’s arms rather than for him to attempt to do so himself. The blonde only needed to give him one look and immediately he allowed for you to be taken away – the pain at the sight of you disappearing from his view stabbing him over and over again.

He didn’t move from the seat outside the infirmary for the whole four hours they had you in surgery and with each minute that passed he could feel the guilt eating him up completely. You were going to hate him for this, everyone was, he was a danger to everyone no matter how much Steve disagreed with him. Then again maybe he had gone too far this time even for his best friend, Steve could end up never forgiving him too.

Those words were always going to be a threat that hung over him. He couldn’t even trust himself so how was anyone else supposed to?

He was snapped out of his self-hating thoughts by the door of the infirmary opening and a rather exhausted looking Bruce walking out still in his scrubs. Bucky looked at him with a glint of hope in his eyes as Steve spoke up.

“How is she doc?”

“We’ve…erm…we’ve had to put her into a medically induced coma.” His eyes didn’t even dare to look over at Bucky as he explained what was happening, his nerves more than evident as he fidgeted with the ends of the sleeves on his medical gown. “She had far too many injuries for her body to cope with and the knife wound was severe enough to cause a lot of internal bleeding.”

The rest of Bruce’s words were lost completely to Bucky as he stumbled back a few steps, almost falling back into the chair he had just stood himself up from. He’d known you had been in a bad way but for the doctors to have to put you into a coma? That was the icing on the cake for the guilt that was currently consuming him and he found himself slinking back into the darkest recesses of his mind as he turned his back on both his friend and the doctor and headed away from the infirmary.

“Buck? Buck where are you going?!”

The blonde received no answer and if he hadn’t been worried for his friend before he sure as hell was now. There was no telling what he was going to do; other than himself you were the only other person he truly cared for in his life and he had almost killed you.

That could break anyone….

                                           * * * * * * * * * *

THREE WEEKS LATER

You could feel yourself being pulled out of the darkness you had been in for what felt like an eternity, distant noises beginning to invade your ears, but they were muffled so much that it almost sounded like you were underwater; the only confirmation you had telling you otherwise was the fact that you couldn’t feel any water around you. There was a constant and steady beeping noise that you could pinpoint, like a heart rate monitor in a hospital, and it kept you focused on something other than the void around you.

But then you swallowed…or tried to anyway, something was stopping you from doing so and in seconds the beeping that had been going at a steady pace quickened as you started to choke on whatever was blocking your throat.

“Take it easy Agent [l/n]. There is a tube in your throat….” The voice that spoke out wasn’t clear enough for you to recognise at first but after a few words you knew it to be Bruce which helped to make you feel a little more at ease. “….I am going to take it out now so just relax and you will be able to swallow. It will be a little sore at first but you will get used to it.”

As he continued to speak you found that he fast became your anchor to the waking world and before long your eyes started to flicker open allowing the light of the room you were to begin invading them. You were still a little foggy from whatever drugs had been pumped into you the whole time you had been unconscious so you didn’t even notice when Bruce finally slipped the tube out of your throat – it was only when you were able to swallow again that you knew it was gone.

“He has been sat by your side as much as he could.”

The familiar face of the doctor came into view once your eyes adjusted to the new light around you and despite the small amount of panic that was rushing through you a smile still tugged at your lips as your thoughts went to the only person he could have been talking about.

“Bu….”

Your face dropped when you gaze fell upon someone that wasn’t Bucky. Of course you were happy to see Steve sat there, his usual heart-warming smile on his face, but there was a huge part of you that was disappointed that his best friend, YOUR best friend wasn’t there.

“You gave me quite the scare back there [y/n].” He may have been showing off his trademark smile but it didn’t hide the pain and the sadness that was enveloping those perfect blue eyes of his. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

Reaching out a hand to him you squeezed his reassuringly inside of yours. The last time you had seen such a look inside of his eyes was when he had first seen Bucky, as the Winter Soldier, and he hadn’t recognised him. That was when realisation started to dawn on you and the drugs really started to wear off.

“Where is he Steve? Where’s Bucky?” For a brief moment the blonde’s eyes travelled over to Bruce and you immediately followed his gaze only to notice that the doctor refused to look at either one of you; a look of sadness now showing in his eyes too. Now you really were worried. “Please don’t tell me we have lost him to Hydra Steve.”

“We haven’t [y/n], you saved him from that fate…..” If you had saved him and he truly wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore then why was his smile no longer reaching his ears? “….I will take you to him.”

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