#IM GLAD PEOPLE LIKE MY INTERPRETATION OF HIM!!!!

[sketchy-tour]

@johnnystruant @just-watching-dont-worry (wonder why I can't seem to tag ya sorry)

But teehee I agree, Johnny is my favorite little critter.

[coldflasher]

was rewatching the pilot again yesterday for fic reasons and thinking again about the sherlock-style screen annotations they had when barry was doing CSI work that they literally only did in the first ep and then never revisited again, presumably because they realized it'd be far too much effort to work out the details on such a precise level

and thinking about like. that barry allen with the hyper-precise exact measurements that he did by eye (with joe shaking his head in awe so you know that he's a CSI supergenius) vs. the leonard snart who timed his heists to the exact nanosecond (which again, presuming they ditched because it's a logistical nightmare to write dialogue that nitpicky and obsessive, and would be such a fucking pain to do on a week-to-week basis). like. yet another reason they are soulmates tbh. is audhd4autistic a thing the same way t4t is a thing? if it isn't then i'm making it a thing

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

hiii i got a little insane over haskills characterization in the other elder scrolls games / material. teehee rambling abt these ^ quotes under the cut (long). also im not that serious abt any of this tbh im just glad haskill appeared in any other elder scrolls material at all LOL

OKAY. okay. about these quotes. idk why other TES media does this, but in these quotes from elder scrolls legends + the interview with haskill it seems like the writers are pushing to give the impression that haskill slightly resents or is even indifferent to his position / the isles / sheogorath ?? (unless haskill is being a little bit more flippant or hyperbolic than usual...?) which is characterization that is NOT what i got from playing oblivion at all skdskdjfn

like... when i played oblivion i thought it was very clear that haskill prefers to be in the isles, serving sheogorath, more than anywhere else. (<- i think this is actually the reason he's technically "mad" even tho he seems sane outwardly. if you enjoy being among madmen it probably means you're mad yourself ykwim). i think haskill does like the isles, his ass is just reserved abt it, like he is about everything... yknow just like jeeves, whose character he's been compared to lmao:)

i think unfortunately some writers take his annoyance with the player and his slight second thoughts about sheogorath's plan in oblivion, and mistakenly assume that he's just annoyed at his whole position. haskill does have his moments of exasperation, but the thing is it's usually only exasperation and it never verges into anger or bitterness or resentment like the top quotes seem to indicate. for example, haskill says this abt his idea of you mantling sheo / the clowns debacle:

^ This quote is a good reference point for haskill's view on sheo bc its pretty much the most critical-of-sheogorath quote from oblivion i can recall, and it tells us a lot of things. in this quote he expresses some exasperation about the clown idea (because he's a prissy bitch who doesn't want to get his outfit dirty /affectionate) and shows some apprehension about one of his lord's ideas (because it involves you, and haskill doesnt like you). but these 2 points he has beef with aren't really reflective of sheo himself but of other issues - ie he doesn't directly question sheogorath. and IN THE END Haskill defers to sheo's judgement because haskill trusts him and values sheo's ideas. in all of his oblivion dialogue, this is the most critical toward sheogorath he gets, and he never outright insults or shows resentment toward him or the isles like in the above quotes bc his loyalty to sheogorath eclipses it

on the contrary (and i dont know why the writers for non-oblivion elder scrolls content dont seem to see this??), theres so much evidence that haskill actually does, you know,,, enjoy being in the isles. here are just some snippets i can think of:

"the isles are hardly a place for anyone, really" <- i BEG to differ, Haskill likes it here, he likes listening to prisoners being tortured in xedillian, he likes wearing his ridiculous frilly high collar outfit emblematic of the fashions of the isles, he doesn't care about morality and it suits him just fine that it doesn't matter here!! (the end quote might be him being a little facetious about relmyna but to be honest i wouldn't be surprised if he thought decency and morality WERE provincial notions because he certainly has no problem killing people lmao). and again, to enjoy doing these things / being around madmen probably says something abt haskill being mad himself. lol

not to mention he likes a bit of joking around. which i imagine sheo does a whole lot. when YOU rib him a little he says this:

his derision in the first bit i think indicates, "i cant believe you would joke around at a time like this," and the upturning of the "very good" i think indicates, "it was a good joke / maybe they could mantle sheo after all". he's not all dour - he appreciates a good joke, especially from (someone who's about to become) his Lord!!

and going a little deeper into haskill actually liking the isles... haskill clearly holds what sheogorath and the isles represent (chaos, free will, individuality) very highly. a good example of this is when you ask him about dyus, and he gives this snarky reply:

^ he says this with such VITRIOL its so funny :p and the amount of disdain in this line indicates (to me) a real conviction in his belief in the free will, chaos etc that sheogorath represents.

this is why i dont think this quote makes sense. "i cant remember why i put up with [sheogorath]" <- haskill wouldnt say this bc he understands fully why he puts up w sheogorath, and his own convictions in sheo that lead him to keep doing it, and even if this quote is him being hyperbolic, i dont think he'd joke about his faith in sheogorath like that because, yk, one of his characteristics is that he's extremely loyal, and moreover he never said anything to this effect in oblivion sdkjskdjs

him having a strong belief in what sheogorath / the isles represent is also evidenced by the language haskill uses when talking about sheo. whenever haskill mentions him, there is an element of poetry and respect to his words that shows that haskill thinks about him highly at the very least:

^ haskill constantly stresses sheogorath's intrinsic unknowableness and power and unique wisdom in a way that feels very respectful. saying "to attempt to fathom [sheogorath's will] is a foolish endeavor" shows that he knows there are unexplainable aspects to sheogorath that he takes note of, respects, and knowingly keeps his distance from... he gets sheogorath and reveres him (at least more than most others or the HoK). in these quotes especially, it feels a bit like hes trying to illustrate how impressive sheogorath is to the HoK, hyping up his boyfriend if you would. who said that. and combined with this respect is (i believe!!!!) a deep care. he is invested in the isles and sheo and wants to help them out of more than just duty. he gets fearful and even loses his composure at some points in the story when sheo/the isles are threatened which i think indicates that he deeply cares for them both!!:

i think this is a care that, combined with the respect he has for sheo, makes it really unlikely for him to get more than exasperated with his behavior and verge into resentfulness. i dont think anyone truly understands sheogorath, not even haskill, but haskill respects sheo as a god, and also gets him in a more familiar/personal way i think - like the way that a cat owner loves their cat but gets exasperated with it when it gets its head stuck in a tissue box. he doesn't angry or anything because he understands that it's the cat's nature to get stuck in the tissue box / sheo's nature to be wild and unpredictable and messy. (the difference being that sheogorath is an all-powerful god cat..... do u see my vision???)

anyway this got crazy long JHDSHFSD... to finish i wanted to look at this extra bit of characterization i found that was wild to me:

^ like. i truly dont get where they got THIS characterization LMAO sheo constantly calls haskill faithful and smart and knowledgeable in oblivion, he practically begs you to summon haskill for help, hyping up his boyfriend so to speak, they care for each other your honor so of COURSE sheo trusts haskill to do his job. what are the legends writers doing in there!!

ANYWAY dear god this got long im going to bed <3

[bunnysnared]

thank you bunnnyyyyy!!! best simon girlie around you feed us all

OH PLEASEEEE DKNJBDHJLDD you flatter meeee ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎♡ ༘ i will take this to heart i am moved greatly..

[babieken]

Hi Niki it’s me, the person who was annoyed by the romanche in the worst of evil. You were right I hadn’t finished all the episodes and now that I have, I totally understand why that relationship was necessary but I think like you said, her character was just so underdeveloped that it felt more like an accessory to move Junmo’s character forward unlike Bibi’s where i thought you got to know her independently of her relationship with junmo. Anyways, it was a very fitting ending and this was a great kdrama.

Hiii!!!!!! Yes exactly!!!! This is a problem with having established relationships in shows and expecting the viewers to care abt them without any build-up just bc they're already married. I think "Big mouse" did a much better job at it (10/10 recommend if u haven't seen it) but also maybe im just biased with yoonah kejdkdjd.

I loved bibi character so much.... i could write a whole essay abt it.

[ebbpettier]

THIS IS THE HIGHEST PRAISE AAAAAAAAAAAA

genuinely, the motion thing is the mannerism i was hoping would come across the most >:3c because that's something my whole family does irl when we get tense; you move, you stop; you lurch forward again, you freeze. you're raring to go and restlessly, helplessly circling like a tiger pacing in a cage and aaaaaaAAAAHHHHH

and the emptiness. it's such a big, empty house. baz wasn't even allowed to hang up posters.

And you know that it's just a Sonata away ...

okay admittedly i originally made this for @rainbowrowell's birthday, and then someone told me the 24th was also BAZ'S birthday!

so unfortunately that means this year his present is mommy issues

i got new video editing software and christ on a recumbant BIKE i cannot believe i was using imovie before this

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

i cant really tell if yuu's involvement in ace's character is more for fanservice reasons or because they really did play a part in his character development.

like in nbc we have malleus choosing to focus on finishing the task at hand as quickly as possible so that they can then find the prefect rather than drop everything there at that moment and prioritizing finding yuu. (iirc) and compared to that we have ace who does put a lot of emphasis on finding yuu especially when no one seems to remember it during the halloween event it feels very traditionally fanservice-y ? and i cant really tell where the line is drawn for ace anymore. and you did mention a lot of other points in another post that you made esp with ace's dream recently dropping and the fact that hes the only guy whos dream yuu was actively involved in idk its a little confusing for me i hope im making sense TT no shade to the shippers im just a little slow in comprehending it all bvbvsjdj

your posts are always really neutral and accurate it just helps to clear up a lot of my confusions and questions i have when playing so thank you for your hard work!

[Referencing this post; you might also find this related post useful in the discussion of Ace and Yuu's relationship!]

DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to invalidate or detract from Ace x Yuu or Malleus x Yuu shippers or anyone who may interpret their relationship as romantic. You should ship what you like and have fun doing it. My reply aims to be more objective, but that should NOT impede on your enjoyment or whatever it is you choose to ship.

iufipaerasfeao Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad you find my posts helpful. I try my best to be objective when it comes to analyzing the story and characters, but there's no true way for someone to be completely neutral. There are definitely times when I have an aside to insert my two cents on a situation or I get super heated about a particular topic. Hopefully I still leave enough space for everyone to come to their own conclusions.

I think it's both fanservice and because Yuu actually plays a big part in Ace's character development? Like, it's technically fanservice but it does not feel egregious because it fits Ace’s teasing nature and Ace's bond with Yuu has been established from the start. He was the first student we met at NRC and we spend so much time with him since then; there's no way Yuu wouldn't have had an impact on him, especially when book 7 is now paralleling the two as people with insecurities about being weak/unable to do anything + not contributing enough and Yuu encouraging him when he finally gets his UM.

I commonly see people joking about Malleus having "missed the meeting about Twst not being a dating sim" and holding him up as "the main love interest". (And to be clear, Twst isn't a dating sim, nor do all Twst fans see the characters romantically; I am only speaking about this in a romantic lens in the context of this post.) However, I think there's a very strong case to be made for Ace as well. The thing is, I also feel that Malleus and Ace fundamentally appeal to two different groups of yumejoshi. Malleus is the tall, dark, and mysterious type you can "fix", the type of guy that would burn the world down for you. Ace is the teasing and approachable boy-next-door that has your back and supports you even when the entire world is against you. This is also evident in the ways they're set up in the main story; Malleus is introduced in a way that encourages much more "filling in of the gaps" due to how little he actually shows up in front of Yuu in the main story. It gives the player a lot of space to imagine what their relationship with him is like because there isn't a ton of interactions in canon to go off of. Meanwhile, Ace has many more canonized interactions with Yuu (eating lunch, doing homework, watching movies, playing video games, etc.), so the effort of thinking about what they actually do over the course of their relationship is already done for you. There is an established friendship and connection with Ace, but you barely see Malleus enough to truly have a strong impact on him or to change him. Does that make sense?

IADUPADF9A9FSBdb I do find it sort of funny that Malleus is basically like, "Oh, something unexpected happened (ie Yuu is missing). We'd better solve this." Not really showing much emotion about them being gone in Nightmare. (Malleus only gets annoyed when Leona begins to take charge; he is not mad at the fact that Yuu is gone.) Meanwhile Yuu is missing in Endless Halloween Night and Ace is the FIRST person to excuse himself to check Ramshackle for them.

If you consult the fandom and the fandom alone, you'd think the situation would be reversed. Edit: Malleus does have his moments of intimacy with Yuu (which I won’t be getting into here because then I fear this post would veer into shipping wars), but the English speaking Twst fandom has a VERY strong bias for Malleus x Yuu. Because of that, there is a tendency to misinterpret or misattribute every little thing that Malleus says and does to support the idea that "Yuu is his most important person". (For example, even though Malleus provides no reaction at all when Skully kisses the back of Yuu's hand, many Malleus fans claimed that he would be very jealous or would harm Skully for doing such a thing. In another Halloween event, Glorious Masquerade, people believed he was angry at Rollo for harming Yuu even though this was not the case; the event states that he was mad because the invitation he had been extended was a fake one.)

It is because of thinking like this that a lot of English speakers genuinely believed Malleus would OB in book 7 in a desperate attempt to prevent Yuu from returning to their original world. Misinterpretations, headcanons, misattributions, and personal projections were conflated with canon, leading to many people to believe that Malleus was closer with Yuu than they actually are. Instead, Malleus ended up OBing because he feared Lilia leaving and he barely even considers Yuu after he OBs. And, ironically, Ace is the character whose dream prominently features Yuu and a scenario in which Yuu doesn't have to leave them forever. It was always Ace that we had a strong relationship with, not Malleus.

Ace is often overlooked even though he has far more canon interactions with Yuu in the main story. I think this could maybe to chalked up to a combination of him being "boring" compared to the literal DARK FAE OP CROWN PRINCE M. Draconia over there and the fact that so many of those "gaps" are already filled by the main story. There's less room for imagination because the game has already defined what Ace and Yuu's relationship entails. Malleus is just so much more appealing when it comes to intrigue and mysteriousness. When you look at it objectively though... Yuu only meets Malleus face-to-face like 5-6 times for brief conversations. (Edit: I’m not counting voice lines because those are arguably directed at the player, not Yuu, to endear the character to you and/or all characters get similar voice line fanservice. The canonicity is questionable since the same familiarity in voice lines is not carried over to the main story.) 5-6 times… That's not nearly long enough to make a huge impact or change in his life (unless you as the player extrapolate and imagine more Malleus and Yuu interactions outside of the ones we see in the main story). At best, I think you could say Malleus is glad he can have a special little friend who doesn't know of his name and status? He doesn't really change because of that relationship though. Malleus doesn't even show up until book 2. But Ace has literally been there since the beginning, canonically spends tons of his free time with Yuu, and has been through several near-life experiences with them (several OBs). He has the chance to bond with Yuu. Malleus does not. (He has given Yuu advice once, sent them a card once, and reassembled a stage for them once; all other interactions in the main story are short talks.)

It makes a lot of sense that Ace would be the one "touched" by Yuu's influence, whether you see it as romantic or platonic. Both he and Malleus (and all the other characters, really) get their moments of fanservice--but very few characters' development is directly impacted by Yuu's presence. Yuu might be there for most of the main story, but they actually get only a few moments to engage with the other boys in the cast to the point of actually changing them. It feels like the changes that occur are more often the result of the other boys (Trey standing up to Riddle and holding his hand afterwards, Epel and Deuce bonding on the beach, the twins telling Azul he's lame but also being the first to check up on him following the OB, Idia finalizing his farewells with Ortho, etc.) Ace just so happens to be an exception to that, as Yuu very clearly plays a big role in his development.

[fconvicted]

ouughh..... your style..... anatomy...... interpretations...... they all tickle my brain very nicely.......... i love your art please dont go bald /silly

I AGREE WITH THE OTHER ANONS TOO your art has actually made me think a lot more about how truly villainous Tenna can become when he's desperate— He's a control freak; sure, due to trauma from abandonment by the people closest to him, but a control freak nonetheless. He's manipulative, he's spiteful, he can very quickly go from cheerful to pissed if things aren't going exactly as he wants it to; and your art captures that overlooked side of him very well and I really appreciate that.

anyways. sorry for the yapping

keep being silly !!!! ^^

ooough thank you anon! really, this makes me happy to hear! blessings to you <3

tenna is so multifaceted and i appreciate observers willing to acknowledge those negative traits. ive been in fandoms for an ungodly amount of years, so im not surprised many people have clung to his pathetic/push over nature, but that portrayal is the reason i push out my art! he can be mean!

im glad my art can showcase that part of him. judging by the feedback, it seems like a lot of people enjoy seeing that part of him as well (especially when it isnt played off as a joke). but i def wanna draw the more silly aspects of him too cause he is a goofy guy too.

he likes to entertain!

[scarletskiesinthepaths]

i do absolutely think Levi having some sort of sexual trauma has been built upon over the years. There’s just so many small things that point to that kind of trauma, and Bad Boy just compounds on those things.

his aversion to sleep has always been very strange to me, he doesn’t even lay down to do so and only ever gets a few hours. it could just be a general unease/feeling a lack of safety but Levi isn’t exactly an outwardly anxious person. im sure his ability to sustain himself on only a few hours of sleep has something to do with his Ackerman power, but he almost seems to have a tendency to avoid laying in beds as a whole. i’m not sure we ever see him in one (perhaps the barracks in No Regrets?) outside of his major injury towards the end.

honestly even though his obsession with cleanliness can be associated with growing up in a dirty environment like the underground (very common IRL w people who grow up in poverty or hoarding etc) something about it always raised an eyebrow to me. feeling somehow “filthy” in a way that is difficult to shake is a very common trauma response for SA victims. He’s also particular with human gore in a way he isn’t with Titan gore. to be fair Titan blood literally steams off, but idk the elaborate get up in the torture scene stick with me, why is a guy who constantly cuts down giant meat monsters full of blood and sinew suiting up with an apron and rubber gloves to punch a human?

When Kenny finds him with Kuchel’s body he’s only wearing of one of her old shirts (if i remember right) which could also be just associated with the neglect he faced as Kuchel’s health declined and she wasn’t able to keep working, but it could absolutely have much worse implications. he’s surely under-clothed for a child that age.

and speaking of Hange i think this is also a huge indicator of how important their friendship w Levi was. i think the “Levi has to knock Hange out to bathe them” lore was mostly a joke, but i absolutely believe that Hange would have a knack for working themselves into exhaustion and neglecting their personal hygiene and the fact that Levi, who is adverse to dirtiness and probably physical touch, would still be willing to help Hange take care of themselves on that level is very important to me.

idk, again there’s just so many small things that compound. i think ppl who refuse to even consider that possibility are ignoring a huge subtext in his writing.

the writing in Bad Boy reminds me a lot of an RPG character from Dragon Age called Zevran, who has a very similar backstory (prostitute mother, grew up in a brothel after she died giving birth) and SA/sex trafficking is a huge part of his writing, it’s never explicitly said but he gets incredibly close to saying it multiple times.

Absolutely, anon, I'm really glad you brought this up. I agree with you. Your observations are thoughtful and deeply grounded in the subtle, but persistent, cues throughout Levi’s characterization. There’s a strong case to be made that Levi’s childhood experiences, especially as hinted in Bad Boy, suggest sexual trauma as part of his backstory, and I agree that this thread has been quietly but consistently built over time across multiple Attack on Titan texts, including the main canon itself, Bad Boy, and the A Choice with No Regrets manga and OVA.

I’ll be honest, though; I sat on this ask for a little while. Not because I disagreed, but because I’ve grown cautious about diving back into this particular conversation, lol. I hope you're still around to read my response! There’s been pushback in the past, and it’s easy to get worn down by the defensiveness and bad-faith interpretations that inevitably come with it. But ultimately, I don’t want fear of fandom backlash to silence a valid reading of the text.

Just to be clear, I’m not saying there’s any explicit confirmation that Levi was sexually abused. What I am saying is that there is a consistent body of subtext—textual, visual, and behavioral—that makes this interpretation both plausible and worth discussing. It’s one lens among many, and it’s one that aligns with real-world trauma responses in a way that deserves thoughtful attention.

For anyone curious and looking to read more on this topic, including some of my older posts and others’ contributions, here are a few links:

To actually address your message and your points, anon:

When Kenny first discovers Levi, the imagery is haunting. Levi appears severely malnourished, neglected, and ghost-like. He’s wearing only a shirt, which not only suggests poverty but also emphasizes how profoundly vulnerable he is. While it’s never confirmed whether the shirt belonged to Kuchel, the idea that it might have is a valid and plausible headcanon. What is confirmed is that Levi is shown curled up on the floor in the same room as her decomposing body, completely alone. In the context of a brothel—where Kuchel worked as a sex worker and where strangers would have regularly entered and exited the space—Levi’s state of undress takes on more disturbing implications. We never learn who had access to that room after Kuchel’s death, nor how long Levi was left to fend for himself there. And as you pointed out, for a child that age to be so underclothed in such a setting is more than just a sign of deprivation—it casts a shadow over the kind of dangers he may have been exposed to during that time.

Now, I’m aware there’s some debate in the fandom about whether Levi and Kuchel actually lived in the brothel where she worked. Personally, I do believe they did. But even if they didn��t, Kuchel’s notoriety as "Olympia"—a well-known prostitute—means that clients familiar with her could very well have come looking. Regardless of the precise location, the threat would have remained the same.

It’s also important to consider how the Attack on Titan universe establishes the Underground as a site of rampant exploitation, especially sexual violence and trafficking. In "Chapter 6: The World that the Girl Saw", we learn that Mikasa, who lived on the surface, was nearly trafficked into sexual slavery. The traffickers planned to sell her specifically to the Underground, where such exploitation was evidently common and profitable. If that was the fate planned for a surface child, it paints a grim picture of what life must have been like for children born in the Underground. Levi wasn’t just born there—he was the son of a sex worker, raised alone in a brothel after her death. In Bad Boy, we see that even as a child, Levi was almost sold into the same system by thugs looking to profit off him. On top of that, he was well-known locally as a “whore’s son,” a stigma that would have marked him as vulnerable. Given this context, and considering how openly the narrative depicts trafficking as a real danger even for children with more protection than Levi had, it’s tragically plausible that Levi endured violations that the text never directly names. Whether or not his trauma is ever confirmed in explicit terms, the setting, circumstances, and behavioral cues all suggest that he was not spared from the kind of exploitation that was normalized in the world he grew up in.

A Choice with No Regrets further deepens this portrait of Levi. As an adult in the Underground, he’s strikingly hyper-independent, emotionally guarded, and instinctively distrustful. His stoicism goes far beyond what would be considered adaptive for someone in a harsh environment—it reads instead as the psychological armor of someone who learned, early and brutally, that vulnerability is dangerous. What’s telling is how this contrasts with Furlan and Isabel, who also grew up in the Underground but retain a more open emotional register. Levi, by contrast, keeps himself closed off—even from those he clearly cares about. Another subtle but telling detail is his relationship to sleep. As you noted, Levi rarely lays down to rest. Even after Return to Shiganshina, when he’s critically injured, we only see him in bed when he’s completely incapacitated. His irregular sleep habits suggest that rest—and the vulnerability it entails—is something he instinctively avoids. It’s also worth noting that Isayama has confirmed in interviews that Levi typically sleeps in a chair. That choice feels significant: what is it about beds, specifically, that feel unsafe to him? It’s a small detail, but one that subtly reinforces the idea that Levi's avoidance of rest is tied not just to environmental danger, but to deeper psychological trauma.

One moment from A Choice with No Regrets that I think is often overlooked—or, worse, completely misread—is the scene in the manga where Levi kills Isabel’s attacker. There’s a strong implication that the man had either raped or was planning to rape her. Isabel returns visibly shaken, and the fact that her hair was forcibly cut—while some try to minimize this—is itself a physical violation. That kind of act doesn’t happen without bodily restraint, humiliation, and intent to dehumanize. Levi’s reaction isn’t casual vengeance or impulsive rage. It’s swift, cold, and deliberate. And it stands out all the more because Levi is consistently portrayed as someone who does not enjoy killing, especially when it comes to other humans. He doesn’t take satisfaction in it, and he’s shown to feel the weight of taking lives. But in this moment, he kills with no hesitation. That’s not just about protecting Isabel; it’s also about what that kind of violation represents to him. This scene adds another layer to the subtext that Levi may have experienced sexual trauma himself. His actions suggest not just outrage on her behalf, but a deep, visceral recognition of what was done to her. When you consider his background—being raised in a brothel, growing up in a community where sexual violence was commonplace, and being personally threatened with it—his response in this scene becomes far more layered. It's not about bloodlust; it's about survival and protection.

As for his obsession with cleanliness, I completely agree that it likely stems from both his impoverished upbringing and something deeper. Like you stated, the trauma of feeling “unclean” in a psychological sense is a known marker in many survivors of sexual abuse. Levi doesn’t just value hygiene—he’s almost compulsive about it. In chapter 15, when he enters Trost HQ, his first instinct is to clean, even in the midst of military chaos. It’s a trait that speaks to more than just surface disgust; it feels ritualistic, like he’s trying to scrub away something intangible. We also know from the Smartpass AU Levi Close-up Report that part of the reason Levi cares so much about cleanliness is because he associates filth with disease. That alone demonstrates that the cleaning is a coping mechanism for something greater.

The A Choice with No Regrets OVA also contributes to this subtext in a subtle but unsettling way. In one sequence, a group of thugs corner Isabel, and after she bites one of them, he implies he wants to assault her—saying, “She’ll pay for bitin’ me. Lemme have some fun with her before we do anything else, ’kay?” Levi isn’t present for that threat, but it establishes that these men are sexual predators and underscores how normalized sexual violence is in the Underground. Shortly afterward, when Levi confronts the same group, one of the thugs touches the collar of Levi’s shirt. Levi immediately recoils and snaps, “Keep your filthy hands off me. I don’t want you smudging my shirt.” His tone is cold and sharp—disproportionately intense for such a minor touch, unless read through the lens of trauma. What’s especially notable is how Furlan quickly intervenes, almost too casually, saying, “Sorry, 'bout that. We're clean freaks here. You prob'ly shouldn't come back, but if ya do, be sure to wash your hands first.” It’s a strangely timed comment, bringing up hygiene in the middle of a tense confrontation, and it reads more like a deflection than comic relief, at least to me. Furlan’s response seems like a practiced redirection, as if he’s accustomed to covering for Levi in moments like this, aware that Levi’s aversion to touch and obsession with cleanliness may stem from something deeper. The way Levi reacts to even an incidental touch, especially from a man he clearly perceives as threatening (and was established as a sexual predator earlier), raises red flags. Within the broader context of the Underground, where exploitation is rampant and children are especially vulnerable, this interaction adds another layer to the growing subtext that Levi’s boundaries around touch aren’t just about personal preference, but about learned survival.

A common counter-argument I’ve seen is that Levi couldn’t have experienced sexual abuse because, in Bad Boy, when the thugs threaten to sell him into sexual slavery, he awakens his Ackerman powers and kills them. But I think this interpretation misreads both the mechanics of his awakening and the emotional weight of that scene. Levi doesn’t react violently when the men first threaten to traffic him. In fact, he stays relatively passive through much of the assault, even as they kick him and beat him down. What ultimately triggers his Ackerman powers isn’t the threat of trafficking alone—it’s a combination of two far more visceral elements: first, the insult to his mother (“whore’s son”), which cuts directly at the only attachment and source of comfort he’s ever known; and second, the imminent threat to his life. When the men begin slamming his head into the ground, it’s not just brutal—it would have been fatal. That moment of near-death, combined with emotional provocation, is what pushes him to awaken. This is consistent with how Ackerman power is described elsewhere in canon: it’s often activated in a life-or-death situation.

Importantly, most sexual trauma, especially in childhood, is not marked by that same level of immediate physical lethality. It’s often coercive or normalized within the environment, particularly when it occurs repeatedly over time. If Levi had experienced prior instances of sexual trauma, there’s no reason to assume his powers would have activated. The context simply wouldn’t have matched the threshold required. What Bad Boy shows us, in fact, is how long Levi endures violence without fighting back. His gentle, quiet demeanor in that scene says a lot; he’s not someone who reacts with aggression instinctively. He internalizes pain. He withdraws. And that, in itself, is a trauma response. The idea that Levi could only have been victimized if he had physically fought back or "activated" sooner misunderstands both trauma and how the Ackerman lineage functions in canon.

And yes, the way Levi interacts with Hange is one of the clearest examples of how touch and boundaries operate differently for him with people he trusts. The oft-joked “Levi knocking Hange out to bathe them” anecdote, while humorous in fandom circles, does imply a certain level of trust and care on his part that cuts directly against his usual physical avoidance and aversion to filth. If you believe Levi is touch-averse because of trauma, then the fact that he’ll tend to someone else’s body—grime, sweat, and all—speaks volumes. It reflects a profound emotional bond.

Btw, I've never played Dragon Age, but I agree that the situation with Zevran sounds similar to the situation with Levi. Isayama never explicitly states that Levi was sexually abused—but neither does he shy away from leaving the space open.

The resistance from some parts of the fandom to even consider this reading is telling. It reveals discomfort not just with the possibility of Levi being a victim, but with the idea that masculinity and vulnerability can coexist. For some, Levi must remain a stoic archetype of masculinity, not someone whose past might include being violated or exploited. But the reality is that Attack on Titan is saturated with trauma, and Levi’s trauma is one of the most underexplored and underacknowledged parts of the narrative, precisely because it’s so coded in subtext.

In short, the subtext is there. The behavioral patterns are consistent. And your instinct to read between the lines is absolutely justified. Bad Boy doesn’t explicitly confirm that Levi was sexually abused, but it significantly strengthens the already persistent implication. Acknowledging that possibility isn’t reaching—it’s a valid interpretation of the character and the narrative choices surrounding him.

Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope my answer was interesting to read.

[alllgator-blood]

Your asks are back on! I wanted to say how much I love your content, I've almost cried over it before tbqh. Im also a huge Shamura apologist they're so special to me. I also ADORE how you write Kallamar, since hes my second favorite! Youre so amazing with your interpretations and the struggles he has to go through being the second oldest keeping things together after Shamura's TBI. Keep up the good work! (Also hope to see a spare crumb of goat content sometime in the future)

Thank you!!! I never know what to say when people say they almost cried/DID cry over something I make, cause on one hand I'm like NO THAT'S TERRIBLE, and on the other hand that's the best possible response to angst content? I've cried maybe like three times over a piece of media in my entire life and frankly I feel left out cause sometimes I want to suffer horribly but in like a good way.

Kallamar is a curious case to me, because when I started this blog I had it OUT FOR HIM. I HATED THAT SQUID I was so mad about that scene where he tells you to kill shamura instead of him. And then I started writing for him more, and NOW it's at the point where he gets more screen time in my comics than shamura, my big fave?? He'll be starring in the next few comics I put up so I'm glad to hear you like how I write him!

As for goat content...I actually have made several goat pictures that never went up, in a bit I'll post an alignment chart they're featured in but for now here's the sketch for their ref sheet:

(it's gonna take a while for me to finalize how my goat works so idk when I'll finish this. Don't mind the censored middle finger, I forgot I draw them with two fingers so I had to improvise...)

[nickythehickey]

a list of disability representation in the sfthverse (updated/corrected version)

that's right, i'm not done with this yet. bc it still needed improvements, and what better time than now?

im making this version its own post instead of a reblog so that it's all more cohesive and condensed together, and so it's easier to read everything in one place

also, the greatest and sincerest massive thanks to everyone who contributed their suggestions/corrections on the original list (sorry for tagging if that's annoying): @spacedustmantis, @sosbanfach64, @obsidian-sys, @very-confused-alpaca, @fairy-princette, @sw33t-transv3stit3, @ethernitty, @bewilderednobody, @doodle-ratz, @apolloisbored, @local-human-disaster, @dereks-unrelenting-heart, @older-than-the-devil, @y-a-w-p, @radio-and-the-dirt, and @dorydotcom. you all really are very helpful, and i really appreciate the support. this is something i had decided to do on a whim but pretty quickly realized it was important at least to me, so im glad to see it means so much to others too

*for the purposes of the list, "disability" includes physical/mental/developmental disabilities, neurodivergence, chronic illnesses, and mental health conditions

*i still easily could've missed some. i also can't get the patreon rn so there's no patreon exclusive characters. if you know of any more feel free to reply and i'll look into adding them!

canon (either explicit or heavily implied)

bubba (inside the mysterious cube) is stated to be an amputee with prosthetic legs

peter steven (the milkman) is stated to have adhd. since adhd has a large genetic component, that implies that one or both of his parents likely also has it- my money's on david, since peter seems to mostly take after him. peter and david also both have glasses (i think? i’ve seen people say so but if that came up in the longform i didn’t pick up on it)

post mortem, L (the creak in the attic) is mute and uses mime/sign language and possession as forms of aac. he also has an unexplained voice in his head

donnie (the detective vs. the christmas tree bandits) is explicitly stated to have adhd and an unspecified seizure disorder (@/obsidian-sys suggested functional neurological disorder and psychogenic non-epileptic seizures, which is what im choosing to go with). "i was never good with numbers" could be interpreted as dyscalculia as well. frankie may also have adhd, bc again genetics

chip (the cardboard stegosaurus) has an unspecified seizure disorder, and while she isn't present, we learn that his mother marie-claire was suicidal

amanda (clarissa's diy wedding) is all but confirmed to have prosopagnosia, or face blindness

according to divorces and teddy bears, the entire north pole elf population has adhd. congrats on the diagnosis luke i mean snowdrop

that one gas station man (the pilot's final flight) and bill hannigan's father (death for a dollar) are both blind

mrs jeffery (the milkman) was blind at the beginning of the scene. they ended up not going with that, but she probably does still have poor vision. she also has a bad hip, the nature of which is never fully elaborated on, so it can be interpreted as a range of physical disabilities

the bartender (the hare who wore a sweater) slut dropped so hard his knees exploded. im not sure what to count this as tbh, but as a person with vague undiagnosed joint fuckery myself, he makes the list regardless

julian (the phantom of hornchurch) is dyslexic

mother xavier (the leftenmost window) has chronic migraines

john hobson sr (the creak in the attic), sam (beetroots and murder), henry (green leaves on a summer's day), and noblin (the bard with a scar) all likely have some degree of ptsd. there's also some implication that beetroot sam has auditory hallucinations

mark (clarissa's diy wedding) for sure has cptsd. very show don't tell, this one is (which is probably why i missed it first time around)

tobias's granddad (wine under the bridge) has very poor vision and, based on body language, appears to use a walker, suggesting mobility issues

sherlock (mystery of the midnight circus & the final baker of baker street) uses a cane. he also appears to have some form of dementia in midnight circus

jericho (no! i always loved that caravan) has an unspecified(? not personally knowledgeable enough to know if there’s a specific one) speech impediment

the pianist (death for a dollar) is missing fingers

mama twilliger (green leaves on a summer's day) has a glass eye

the keeper of the oil (the lighthouse) has back problems. pretty severe back problems too based on luke practically standing sideways to portray it

pinnochio (the grape depression). also should be here but idk what to call whatever his deal is. he's just generally fragile and weak

the-middle-child-maybe-named-johnny (oh no it's a door) has a stutter (i said no patreon, but @/bewilderednobody told me about it, so i might as well include it)

madame petrova (ballet on the battlefield) had an accident that left her with limited mobility, prompting her switch from performing to teaching

inspector whitstable (the haunted diary entry) uses a cane

the thomases (the enigma of the high visionary) are probably autistic. i do not like the use of functioning labels, but i genuinely don't know how else we're supposed to interpret "high functioning boy/dad"

im gonna be bold and move johnny and janae (the neighbor's under the bed) being autistic from headcanon to canon. it just makes too much textual sense. adding that janae is the textbook example of savant syndrome and that johnny all but explicitly has a developmental disorder

headcanons (still implied like at least a little bit but mostly up to interpretation)

*(this section is messy, it's more me sensing vibes than anything else, there's almost definitely some projection in there, honestly you can disregard it if you want. spoilers it's mostly autism bc that's me)

alan (the bard with a scar) says that he can't run fast, maybe implying mobility issues? i like to think so

jimmy (toby's secret pocket) and jeffery (party quirks) are both autistic to me. jeffrey specifically bc he reminds me immensely of how i felt and acted the first and only time i threw a party. jimmy’s trouble with doors could also be seen as him having dyspraxia, which is frequently comorbid w/ autism

titch (the unrelenting aubergine) is practically a poster child for alexithymia and autistic gifted kid burnout (also after being repeatedly told this i took an alexithymia test for myself and learned there's a very strong possibility i have it too. neat). while we're at it derek has some vibes too, but not as strongly

someone in the comments of ballet on the battlefield pointed out alexa stimming after she befriends janusz and i love that so im saying she's some flavor of neurodivergent

alfred ("why did you eat that" flurry) is potentially autistic, that man is so deeply blind to social cues. just like me fr

wine under the bridge in general can be read as a disability allegory if you wanted to, but im unsure if there's anything texually there

because of the way i visualize character designs for sfth, pretty much any character luke played while wearing glasses (like andrew (all eyes on nigel) or fullset o'hands) also wears glasses. im not gonna list them all bc frankly i don't know them all, just know they're included

i like feels like too positive of a word take interest in the idea of annabelle (priscilla's final petal) possibly having postpartum psychosis, causing her violent behavior and ultimately her death

aj's don juan (the merengue haberdashery) seems to potentially have narcolepsy or another sleep disorder? he falls asleep without warning a lot

it's unclear how much of acd watson carries over to watsam (midnight circus/final baker), but acd watson is heavily implied to have ptsd from military service, as well as chronic pain and mobility issues from a traumatic leg injury

i can't imagine john jacob (the off-season) getting shot wouldn't cause some long term problems, both physical and psychological

in the beginning of toby’s secret pocket, toby asks don ciciccio if he’s blind and the don never answers. shrodinger’s visual impairment

corrections (some small patch notes of sorts to directly address things the original list got wrong, for the sake of transparency and to clear up potential misinformation)

in the first update to the list, i suggested that midnight circus watson could have psychosis or a dissociative disorder. this was false, as there is no solid evidence to support it

i accidentally swapped alan and frankie's names when covering tbwas

originally, i said that johnny and janae are like the extreme incarnation of the thing that often happens to autistic people (myself included) where when you're a young kid people think you're mature for your age but then once you're older people think you're immature. i just want to clarify that when i say that, i mean from like a narrative foil perspective, not necessarily in reference to them as people. bc as people that's not how that works

i erroneously claimed that the specific mention of flashing lights in the strip club likely indicates donnie having photosensitive epilepsy. this was not necessarily true

(7/11) added don ciciccio’s potential visual impairment that may or may not have stayed part of his character, i genuinely can’t tell

[choco-worms]

I love that transmasc Cameron drawing you did

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His design just feels so smooth to me. In my head I've just been referring to transmasc Cameron as Ali but ofc anyone else can refer to him however they please.

Anyways, Im glad people seem to like the interpretation!

[burningfudge]

thunderbolts* spoilers

I liked the movie, but I feel like I already watched it ten years ago. It was a movie called Guardians of the Galaxy. A group of misfits who are aimless and feeling lost, regret, and loneliness, and then band together to fight a threat. This is the Earth Guardians 😭

Bucky and Ava had nothing to do lol. This was pretty much Yelena and Bob's movie, but they were fantastic. I did want to see more of Ava, but her character wasn't fleshed out that much compared to the others, which I found disappointing.

I was open to the idea of Congressman Bucky before watching the movie to see if they did something with it but they did absolutely nothing. It seemed like an out of character decision anyway. Like the same man who went on the run from the US government is going to turn around and then become a part of the government? Steve should’ve just signed the Accords in that case lmfao.

The scene with Bucky on the motorcycle was sick though. Loved it!

I didn’t get a good look, but was Bucky’s new outfit in the post credits a Revolution-inspired outfit from the comics? I’m like 85% sure that the red star design is like his Revolution one. I’m glad Bucky’s going back to the red star design.

Bob beating himself up :( My boy. I had such a big soft spot for him when I read New Avengers for the first time, and while they changed the Void from the comics, I really liked this interpretation.

"Taco shield" lol Walker was so funny in this movie. He even kept the taco shield in the post credits scene. His stupid little beret cracked me up too.

Walker’s “Bobby” became so endearing by the end too. They give me big brother and little brother vibes.

Valentina shooting a snide remark at Ross during the hearing is so funny because he's the one who appointed her as the Director of the CIA lmaoo. They were both up to shady superhuman things and trying to "bring the Avengers back".

And Congress holding a corrupt government official responsible? Unrealistic. At least Bucky's the right age to become a Congressman.

New Avengers is my favorite comic of all time, so I have mixed feelings about the name. But it's funny that Norman Osborn's Dark Avengers storyline was given to Valentina, with Valentina manipulating Bob and taking over Avengers Tower just like how Osborn did. Ox Corp even sounds like Oscorp.

Did Tony sell the tower to Ox Corp or something?

I think Abomination would've been a huge plus in the movie. He, thematically, fits in with the rest of the team, and they would've gotten a Hulk on the team too. Because let's be honest, the team is a little weak on the power side, and Sentry's pulling all the heavy weight. Doom's going to slaughter them in two seconds.

Idk why Sam is upset about the name. Like dude, your Avengers team is just you and Joaquin. What Avengers team does he have? Go call up some of your friends first, at least the New AvengerZ are actually a team. He didn’t even call Bucky to join his team 😭

Poor New York. They just went through a blackout, riots, and looting, and now they were in the Void. At least Fisk probably saw his traumatic childhood memories again, which is a plus. But Matt probably saw Foggy's death again :( And poor Peter probably saw Aunt May and Tony dying.

FANTASTIC FOUR MY BABIES I CAN'T WAIT. It's going to be really funny that the first people the FF are going to meet in the MCU are going to be the Thunderbolts lmao. I think Alexei and Ben will get along really well or absolutely hate each other. It can go either way. Walker and Johnny would 100% get on each other's nerves, though.

But did they spoil how the movie ends? Everyone basically knew that they're going to travel to the main MCU universe eventually, though. RIP FF universe, Galactus probably found the planet delicious.

ADFHJKL IM SO EXCITED FOR THE FANTASTIC FOUR

I’d give this movie a 7/10. For post-Endgame movies, I’d rank it right below No Way Home and GotG Vol 3, and on par with Shang-Chi.

[nqueso-lies]

tbh this is entirely based on my own experiences watching the show, but looking at the poll about "whose going to be endgame buddie vs bucktommy" im just like... how many of them actually did watch the show before they picked buddie? because while i came into the show for tevan as a ship (the funeral with buck and tommy together was the exact scene that convinced me to watch the show), i honestly expected to like... understand where the BoBs were coming from.

and then it just... never happened. a lot of it was "yeah, i can see where some people would interpret this as romantic if they don't have really close friendships," but i've literally got close friendships where if i was widowed, i would write it into my will that my child would almost definitely go with one of my best friends (if they were fine with that decision) rather than my parents, if those were my only two options (idk im assuming in this theoretical for my life that there's a reason why my deceased spouse's parents aren't an option). like, i have solid reasons to say "i'd want my kid going to one of my closest friends" and i don't feel anything romantic toward those friends in the slightest--and i have friends who are compatible w my sexuality and those who aren't, not that it matters since i can still have feelings for someone i'm incompatible with. i've spent countless hours yapping to one of my closest friends about anything and anything. if i found out she was injured badly enough to be hospitalized, i'd probably go into a depressive slump and cry over her because she's family to me. i literally had someone ask me once if i was dating her, gagged over it, told her, and then she also gagged over it because "we're family??? gross??? i love u but not like That????" before we moved on talking about something else

like... ik ppl calling out the "there's no platonic explanation for this!" stuff has been going around tumblr plenty and i'm glad it has been. there's always a platonic explanation, y'all just don't have deeply intimate relationships with close friends and it shows. i love my close friends, but i'm not in love with my close friends, and imo that's healthy and important, and it wouldn't change even if i was dating someone rn.

i can buy people viewing stuff through shippers goggles bc everyone does that at some point. the issue really comes from insisting that it was 100% intended and that b*ddie is going canon any day now because ppl can't tell their headcanons from what the show and everyone on it keeps telling us. ik its been said before, but b*ddie doesn't have to go canon to be enjoyed. like id say at least 80% of fandom shipping culture is looking at non-canon ships and going "yeah, i'll fuck with that." lmao literally i kinda thought linda and eddie would have had a cute relationship and its entirely based on the fact that i liked what we saw of their friendship and that it could be nice for eddie to have a friendship with a woman first before later pursuing her.

but idk thats what i get for watching the actual show in its entirety and enjoying the actual show on my screen rather than just watching tiktoks saying "OMG B*DDIE CANON???" because they breathed on the same planet at the same time. the writers could have buck come out on screen right now and say the literal exact words "eddie is my brother, not a guy i want to date. and even if i did, i deserve better than him" and they'd still be finding a way to say the b*ddie is canon trust while also bitching about buck for implying that eddie is anything less than perfect

Annie, yes yes yes yessssssss

[pynkhues]

Idk if uve discussed this before, im new haha but I really enjoy your readings of the show and I’m curious, would u call louis a femme? Idk i think it’s a widely accepted canon in the fandom and i constantly see it spread all over twitter with no argument whatsoever and im over here like i.. i dont see it?? Idk!

Hey! Welcome, anon! And thank you for your kind words! You’re very sweet!

I think I’ve probably discussed it in fragments before, but not outright said it, but no, I wouldn’t call Louis a femme. It’s certainly a largely accepted fanon in a vocal part of the fandom, particularly on Twitter and ao3, and yeah - - I mean. I’m really glad people are having fun with it! I do also sometimes feel they’re watching a different show to me though, because it’s honestly not something I see at all. I don’t know if their arguments are necessarily organized in the one place (although I could be very wrong in terms of that!) but I might use this as an opportunity to collate my thoughts and the previous posts I’ve made addressing the arguments around this particular topic. SO! Okay! Let’s break it down and dive in:

Louis is femme because he’s a Gothic Heroine

I just don’t agree with this argument, I’m sorry. I’m not going to get into the weeds of this one, just because I feel like I’ve done so already, but I don’t personally read Louis as a gothic heroine at all. In fact, I see him as a very archetypical Byronic Hero, which I talked about in this post, and in others in my Byronic Hero tag.

Louis is femme because he is a Battered Housewife / relying on a Sugar Daddy

This point often gets tied up into the gothic heroine one, and it’s one that always kind of surprises me a little bit. Even putting aside the fact that it’s an ugly, misogynistic trope in general, Louis’ relationship to being a quote-unquote ‘housewife’ is one that – to me – is symbolic of his feelings of emasculation in the Rue Royale household not as a result of Lestat alone, but as a result of the white power structures in New Orleans that would disempower and disenfranchise him. He doesn’t like it, it doesn’t make him ‘femme’, in fact, my interpretation is the opposite – it emasculates him as a Black Man, and he feels that in every part of his life to the point that both his daughter and sister weaponize it against him, and I personally think it’s a factor in his periodic impotence in his marriage. Respectively, Claudia calls him the housewife, and Grace calls Lestat his white daddy – these aren’t compliments, these are callous insults from both of them designed to bruise his pride and force him into action. The fact that neither of them work to move him the way they want doesn’t mean Louis identifies with them, rather it means he’s – at the time – committed to Lestat for better and worse, but their words compound in a way that fuels his resentment of Lestat as both an adulterous husband and a symbol of everything wrong with his life.

Further to that – and I say it in the Byronic Hero/Gothic Heroine post that I link to above  – but a vital part of power dynamic tropes in gothic literature is that women lose power through marriage, they don’t gain it, and Louis does, in fact, gain it. Lestat’s a ticket to social advancement for Louis because as much as Louis (rightfully! It’s extremely racist!) hates being forced into a servitude role publicly at the theatre or in lease agreements, it’s Lestat’s whiteness that allows Louis into more conversations politically, and eventually allows him to buy the Fair Play Saloon and turn it into The Azaelia. It’s a limited power, of course, as a result of his race and the era, but the show actually explicitly lays out certain things for us like the fact that Louis pays Lestat back in full, and pointedly, that Louis never felt that he had to pay Lestat back at all:

The last line of which is Louis greeting Lestat not as a sugar baby or a housewife walking out to his sugar daddy or husband, but as a business man to his husband.

In fact, the interesting exchange of power in that sequence actually leans to the reverse as Lestat ends up playing host to a new client while Louis lords over an empire.

(You can't see it exactly in these subtitles, but it's Louis who says 'you about five years late', and Lestat honeytrapping with taking the man away).

It's a dynamic that repeats with the musician who tries to leave that Lestat coerces into staying - Louis' king of the castle, and Lestat, the show implies, I feel, plays the placating partner smooting over the edges.

But isn’t Lestat a symbol of patriarchal power in the Rue Royale Household?

I’ve had a couple of asks about this and have a long reply in my drafts that I’ll try and post this weekend, but yes and no? I think in Rue Royale, Lestat’s definitely a symbol of patriarchal power to Claudia, and I think Louis sometimes feels him that way too, but I don’t think it’s actually true for Louis in the way that it is for Claudia. Gender isn’t what divides Louis and Lestat, it’s race, and every time Louis has the chance to exert patriarchal power against anyone outside that house or inside it, he uses it – from coercing Lestat into Claudia's rebirth to physically assaulting Claudia over Lestat’s murder, to even trying to influence her diet and guilting her into staying, to throwing Lestat out of his own house and then fucking him in his lover’s bed (which, obviously, are after Lestat's singular act of violence), to being literally a pimp, strongarming his sister and his mother, to giving less than 0 fucks about Lily’s murder and the attempted anal-rape of Bricktop - - just.

Yeah. There are two patriarchs in the Rue Royale household, and both their names begin with L.

Eldest daughter syndrome

Sometimes men are also eldest siblings who feel the burden of responsibility?

Even beyond that though, I think Louis’ response to Grace is particularly paternalistic, a pattern he’d repeat with Claudia, which I talk about here. I do think Louis has a lot of responsibility and weight on his shoulders as an eldest child, absolutely, and I actually think there’s a lot to talk about in terms of his complex position as brother-father to Paul and Grace in s1 (and I empathise with him intensely in this regard as someone who’s been a sibling’s guardian), but like. That’s not a feminine trait, nor is it one that makes him an eldest daughter. I’m not one, and he’s not one either. Sibling dynamics aren’t cut and paste.

But Louis buys and reads Madame Bovary and obviously relates to Emma

I mean, he doesn’t buy it – the show literally, explicitly makes the point of telling us that it’s Lestat’s copy of the book that he’s reading, which honestly makes sense to me. I talked about it here (where I include the caps of it being Lestat's book too), but Emma as a character cheats because she finds monogamy boring, provincial life even more so and dislikes her daughter, while married to a successful man in a regional town. Louis’ not the Emma in that equation, Lestat is, given he's fucking Antoinette – allegedly because he wants variety – escaped the Auvergne in Paris, and can’t cope with parenthood and/or Claudia.

Interestingly too, Louis’ focus in that scene is on the 'denseness' of the prose and 'the absence of metaphor' not the content, as he ignores Lestat having a meltdown directly opposite him. My interpretation of that scene is that the writing is pointing out exactly how disconnected they are from each other, and that Louis can read a story that parallels a lot of Lestat’s experience, and fail to relate it to, or empathise with Lestat at all, even as Lestat indulges Louis’ depression and hoarding, which ! I love Louis, but Lestat does in that sequence (not that that justifies anything that Lestat does, of course).  

Isn’t Louis compared to Juliet and Mélisande?

Mmm, yes and no? Armand does put him in the Juliet role, which Louis riffs with Dreamstat about, but I tend to interpret that more to be about the involvement of the balcony than I do about their roles as Romeo and Juliet – because, y’know. Not everything’s actually about gender, particularly with same sex couples of that era who had limited reference points generally, and certainly limited mainstream ones.  

And Melisande - - not at all, actually? I do have to say that I’m a little bit baffled by this particular argument given we have the lyrics to Come to Me and Lestat puts himself in the feminine role of Mélisande (and I actually do think you can mount the argument that he's done that because he’s intending for Antoinette to sing it, which I thought for a long time before hearing Long Face tbh, and now I actually do think it’s deliberately playing into Louis’ sense of masculinity), and he does cast Louis in the masculine role of Pelléas. The chorus literally goes:

Ruin each other Like star-crossed lovers Your Pelléas, my Mélisande Oh, come to me Come to me

So, yeah. Again, that argument just doesn't quite land for me.

Wasn’t he jealous of Grace’s pregnancy though?

Was he? That wasn’t my interpretation, but I’d actually genuinely be interested to hear a case for it, because I feel that’s kind of tasty on a narrative level, haha. My interpretation of that entire sequence though kind of feeds back into that eldest sibling thing again where he a) resented Grace building something of her own before he could, and b) was terrified of the idea that her having her own family would mean that she’d pull way from him which she, of course, did.

I tend to see Louis’ desire to have Claudia as a fairly impulsive one, and I actually see (in the show’verse) his desire to have Lestat be the one to turn her as a part of him further interlocking him and Lestat together, particularly after he's effectively just broken up with Lestat. It's messy! But yeah, I mean, I think 2.07 laid out pretty cleanly that Louis' choice to turn Claudia was inherently a selfish one, and I personally don't see it as one borne out of jealousy so much as needing an anchor. 

Anne bases Louis on herself

She also bases Lestat on herself and/or everything she wants to be, and also washes her hands of Louis as a character for books at a time, and like - - I’m sorry, this is not the tone I usually take, but like - - lowkey, who cares? Everyone in this fandom loves death of the author until Anne says one thing they can use to justify their headcanons, and I just don’t really get it. Why are you trying to interpret a vampire novel as a memoir? Obviously it’s not factual? Anne’s not a man, she’s not drinking blood, she’s not romantically entangled with her dead daughter, like I do understand that it can feel noodly sometimes with authors and characters, but as someone who works with a lot of writers, I can promise you they’re dipping in and out of characters like crazy, haha.

It doesn’t mean a character’s them, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re interacting with Anne when you're interacting with Louis, which I suspect a lot of people don’t want anyway? I don't know, personally I view this one as a bit of a non-starter.

Louis’ pretty though

Yeah, he is! He’s your Helen of Troy! He’s beautiful! He’d look amazing in tights and heels! That doesn’t mean he’s canonically femme though.

[day-mark]

at least watch the clip before commenting about it

https://x.com/DNI_lowkey/status/1901922848681161008

youre right that i shouldve watched the clip before talking about it, but im afraid this still changes very little on how i feel about what they said.

you know if tub.bo had gone into the stream with this attitude instead maybe things wouldve been different. also changing your mind means nothing to me if it's not admitted privately to the party affected, and frankly also publicly in this situation considering how much of the harm was done publicly

disclaimer none of this is directly quoted

sad that there was no middle ground to be had between him and dream/sad he realized they wouldnt be able to reach and agreement and become friends again -> i added this later in the tags of my original post, but there could never have been a middle ground to reach with dream when he refuses to give dream even the tiniest benefit of the doubt. the entire time he reacted to dreams stream, he assumed nothing but the worst despite repeating over and over that he would be fair, multiple example i cant be assed to bring up, but him assuming dream didnt defend punz automatically and then being told no, he did defend him. or reading into why dream removed the mention of caiti when all it was was that dream interpreted the end of the sentence differently. dreams concedes multiple times to tub.bo but not once does he extend that same attitude to dream. hell he got mad at dream for using his own clip of saying his friends shouldnt be making grooming jokes

the stream humanized dream and it would make their audiences put down the pitchforks - i find this extremely ironic given that what came out of tub.bos streams instead was mass dehumanization again to the point where someone said he could queerbait because he "operates as a business". also no, having dream on stream does not humanize him to your audience if you again, only are on the offensive and take issue with every single thing he says. also basically having this attitude of "well I tried my best to humanize him to my audience" but sitting back and watching them spread misinformation and "dream is an evil manipulator" and saying nothing means nothing to me.

neither side was mature/this couldve been ignored - braindead fucking take. "ah yes, lets ignnore the situation We Provoked by repeatedly calling dream a groomer, trump supporter, etc'" harassing someone until they snap and then turning around to go "oh neither of us were mature, we shouldve been the bigger person and ignored it 😔" is idiotic and shows zero self-awareness. i cannot tell if they are that dumb or if its intentional at this point.

jack saying there was never a middle ground and he was proven right that they could never be friends/didnt work as friends and he was glad he didnt prematurely cut ties with someone he couldve made amends with + he distanced himself a while ago - also stupid when he is one of the worst offenders of bringing dream up "days since jack mentioned dream" anyone? sure you could distance yourself and sometimes you just dont get along with people but then the reason he doesnt like dream that he cites is that he made a joke to George about being the reason for his success and repeatedly made poor taste jokes about dream and punches down on him Constantly. sorry but this does not scream "being mature about distancing yourself and simply having different personalities that clash"

comments its weird how much people care and that they dont care - motherfucker you actively fueled it with your repeated "jokes". the "red flags" they harped on about in their Other podcast episode. also if you dont care why do you keep fucking bringing him up. even before this whole situation

tubbo realizing he exaggerated his own emotions about the situation because of the stream and afterwards realized they were all stupid - again. this would mean more to me were this not a paywalled podcast and if he acknowledged it Publicly. also idk, making another comment about how unlabelled people cant be queer weeks(?) after the stream does not scream "i realized i overreacted and was immature about this situation"

jack doesnt want to stop making "little jokes" because theyr funny and tub.bo says and as long as its not malicious - does not scream "distancing myself from dream and wanting to move on" also how many fucking times do we have to say that calling someone a groomer (especially when people already actively believe this) and a trump supporter is not "a little joke". at this point it doesnt matter if jack is not being malicious, his audience will take it as such and continue their hostility.

yeah sorry but with their recent behavior both before and after the stream, this means absolutely nothing to me. this still screams that they dont understand the harm theyre causing and frankly dont Want to understand, they want to keep using dream as their punching bag. if they truly want to be mature about it then fucking act like it. they have flipped between sides too often for me to think this is anything meaningful, i mean hell tub.bo couldnt even decide on if dreams a trump supporter or not in those streams(and yeah if it was a joke that "haha oh idk actually he might be a trump supporter" it was not funny and made things worse bc his audience is braindead and will take it as gospel". like im tired of them pouring gasoline on a situation or hell even Starting The Damn Fire and then turning around and acting like they didnt.

also i find it hysterical jack said tub.bo seemed miserable at the end of the stream and was wondering why he would do that to himself, when he does not stop tommy from doing the same thing and at some points even encouraged/fed into said behavior making him miserable.

also the entire queerbaiting conversation and comment made after is utterly unacceptable to me and its not something im going to forgive with no apology or understanding regardless of what they think of dream

i might come back to this to add/change things, im at work and this may be incoherent rambling*