#IF SHE AINT WANNa be TOUCHED don't TOUCH her. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pretty-sparkle-bomb · 25 days

Text

actor!bakugo and actress! yn part 2 part 1 here

you guysss i had this one in my drafts for so long and i didnt know how to write it to make it 'proper' enough so i hadda rewrite it like four, five times😔hope you enjoy tho <3!

also if you wanna know, the song i was making reference to was 'envolver' by annita. (i promise yall my music taste aint bad)

You’re both invited to a celebration party with your cast members—a small gathering at Kaminari's place to enjoy the success of the movie.

You hang out with Mina and the girls, while Katsuki begrudgingly stays with Kirishima and the guys.

No need to worry, though. He keeps you in view, carmine eyes tracing over your curves in the body-hugging blue dress he picked out, claiming that the color suited you. Crystal drop earrings shine under the dim lighting, and the black choker he gave you as a present is wrapped snugly around your neck.

Katsuki smiles as he fishes out his phone from his back pocket and shoots you a text.

kats 💕 come over here. miss ya

You down the last of your shandy, giggling at a joke Jirou made, until Mina suddenly gasps.

"What?" you ask, setting down your empty glass as you gesture to the bartender for a refill.

"Your lipstick is smudged, sis. Who's coming to the bathroom with me? Makeup touch-ups are needed right now." She stands up and pulls your hand, with Jirou and Ochako following suit. The other girls stay seated, promising to keep an eye on the drinks.

Katsuki watches the group of girls leave the room, a loud, chatting mess as they drunkenly stumble away.

Todoroki snaps his fingers in front of Katsuki's face. "Why are you looking at the girls?" he asks, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

His mouth opens and closes, contemplating what to say.

"Jus' caught my eye, 's all," he mutters, sinking into the couch. Kirishima snorts, and Sero elbows him in the ribs to shut him up.

"What?" Bakugo asks, emptying the contents of his cup.

"Nothing, dude! Totally nothing," Kaminari replies, waving his hands sarcastically.

"Do you like Ochako?" Todoroki asks, eyeing the ash-blond. Katsuki makes a funny face, crinkling his eyes. "Hah? The hell did you say?"

Todoroki smiles a bit and shrugs. "It seemed like you were staring at her."

The table falls silent as the star actor contemplates his response. The guys all sit up straight, eagerly awaiting his reply.

"I don't like her," he finally says, his tone leaving no room for argument. Suspicious looks appear on each of their faces.

"Okay, so you wouldn't mind if I got with her?" Sero teases, standing up.

Bakugo grins. "Go 'head."

His phone lights up on the glass table, and all eyes immediately snap to the bright notification.

Mrs. Bakugo one min katsu. the girls and i are kinda busy. but like, nobodys supposed to see us thoo ykyk wanna meet somewhere private? ;)

Sero immediately snatches the phone from the table, his eyes wide. His fingers swipe to open the message, but a blocker comes up. "Face ID? Really, man?" he groans.

Katsuki shoots up, pushing Sero's face away as he snatches the phone back, holding it out of the raven-haired actor's reach.

"Ouu, Mistress Bakugo?" Kaminari laughs loudly, slapping his knee. Katsuki clicks his teeth and walks away from the boys, phone in hand.

Upon seeing his retreating form, they start laughing and calling out to him.

"Yo Bakubro, are you gonna wife her up?"

"Bakugo, my guy! Tell her I said hi!"

"Is he gonna collect his daily kisses?"

"There's a spare room two lefts after the guest bathroom!"

It’s no surprise when Bakugo rings you. The familiar sound of your ringtone causes Mina to pause mid-mascara application.

"Katsuki? Why is he calling you?" Jirou asks, holding up your phone. Shit. You shrug and take it from her, entering a bathroom stall for a bit of privacy.

"What is it?" you whisper into the speaker, hearing his harsh breathing.

"They saw yer message. Wanna know who ya are," he responds curtly. You still, quietly sorting out the thoughts in your mind.

"Okay... that's fine. But you know what this means, right?" you ask, your fingers drumming against your silver purse.

Katsuki is quiet on the other end of the line. He grunts, knowing what you meant: he won't be able to even look at you for the rest of the night. He mumbles a small "okay" and hangs up.

As your group of friends makes their way back to the buzzing party, your eyes can’t help but search for Katsuki.

And you find him, handsome as ever, shot in hand as he manspreads on the couch, eyes closed as he has a small conversation with some random blonde.

Your eyes zero in on her: chunky gold earrings, black dress, gold heels—real flashy. She’s a typical blonde, you think, trying to brush it off.

But she’s all over him, manicured fingers grazing his bicep as she cackles at some random, unfunny words coming out of his mouth.

"I thought this was a private event?" you ask Ochako, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. She shrugs, immediately following your gaze and spotting the girl. "I think she's one of those background characters, or something."

You can practically read the words coming out of her mouth. "oH kAtSuKi YoUrE sO fUnNy."

Who was she to even call him by his first name?

How dare she.

You take a deep breath, letting the tension ease away as you turn your focus back to the party. If that blonde thinks she can monopolize Katsuki’s attention, then she clearly doesn’t know who she’s dealing with. But rather than stewing in frustration, you decide to make the most of the night.

The bartender places a fresh drink in front of you, but you push it aside. “Something stronger,” you say with a smile, and he quickly swaps it out for a shot of the strongest liquor they’ve got.

The girls, noticing your shift in mood, exchange curious glances. Mina raises an eyebrow, a mischievous smile already forming on her lips. “My dear yn, what’s going on in that head of yours?”

Without answering, you down the shot in one swift motion, the liquid burning its way down your throat. You place the empty glass onto the bar and feel the warmth spread through your body. You look towards the DJ and stand up, walking toward him.

"Hey, buddy," you call, pretty sure that he can't hear you over all the music playing. You beckon him closer with a curl of your fingers and ask him to play one of your favorite songs.

Si tú me desea' y yo a ti también

Your girls join you on the dance floor as you start dancing. You can feel the eyes on you—some admiring, some envious—but there’s only one pair you care about. You glance back toward Katsuki, who’s still seated on the couch, his gaze fixed on you. The blonde from earlier is long forgotten as his eyes trail over your form, taking in the way you move to the beat.

Aprovéchame

Your hips sway in rhythmic movements as your girls whoop and holler behind you. The shot makes everything feel fuzzy, but you continue anyway. Maybe you’ve had too much to drink, but the alcohol gives you a boldness that has you dancing more provocatively, knowing exactly the effect it’s having on Katsuki.

Before you can fully bask in the moment, Mina suddenly appears beside you, a grin plastered on her face.

“Damn, girl! You’ve got some moves!” she shouts, moving behind you. And maybe you both thought it was cute, but damn, the sight of you and her dancing like that has Katsuki and Kirishima in shambles.

`Sé que lo hacemo' y tú vas a volver`

“You’re on fire tonight!” Ochako shouts over the music and you giggle. “Just having a little fun,” you reply, though your eyes keep darting back to Katsuki.

And sure enough, you notice him shift in his seat, his eyes darkening with an intensity that makes your heart race. He’s watching you like a predator who’s found his prey and you wouldnt have it any other way.

The girls are having the time of their lives, lost in the music, but you’ve got something else in mind. You dance closer to Katsuki, the distance between you shrinking with every step.

You can see the moment he decides he’s had enough, the possessiveness flaring up as he sets down his drink and rises to his feet.

`Tú me quieres perrear y yo quiero partirte`

You’re not sure who moves first, but suddenly, he’s there, his hands on your waist as he pulls you against him. The heat of his body presses into yours, and for a moment, the world fades away. There’s only you, Katsuki, and the music’s bass that keeps your blurry mind in check.

“Ya really know how to make a guy restless,” he mutters in your ear, his voice low, and you smirk, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Maybe that was the plan.”

Your eyes look over to the blonde. She's still there, eyebrows pinched in confusion and anger, maybe?

But you’re not done playing.

Without breaking eye contact, you give his chest a gentle shove, urging him back toward the couch. Katsuki’s eyes widen for a split second, but then a knowing grin spreads across his face. He lets you push him down, his back hitting the cushions with a soft thud, and he sprawls out, his hands resting casually on the back of the couch as he watches you with a mix of curiosity and anticipation.

You stand in front of him for a moment, your body swaying to the music as you let the tension build. The beat thrums through your veins, making everything around you feel distant, unimportant. All that matters is the way Katsuki is looking at you—like he’s seconds away from dragging you down onto him.

But you get there first.

With a slow, deliberate movement, you straddle his lap, your knees sinking into the couch on either side of his hips. The proximity sends a thrill through you as you settle onto his thighs, your body pressing into his. You can feel the heat radiating from him, the tension in his muscles as his hands find their way to your waist, gripping you firmly.

Katsuki’s eyes darken even more, his breath hitching as you lean in close, your lips brushing against the shell of his ear. “She gone yet?” you whisper, your voice dripping with mischief.

His grip tightens, and you feel the low growl rumbling in his chest. “You’re askin’ for it,” he murmurs, his voice rough and filled with promise.

You laugh softly, the sound lost in the thumping bass of the music. “Maybe I am. But first, answer the question.”

"'M not lookin for her, dollface. All my attention... 's on you." he whispers.

You place a kiss on his nose and then look up at her.

The blonde from earlier watches with wide eyes, her expression quickly morphing from confusion to disgust. She’s visibly fuming, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she realizes she never stood a chance. You catch her glare, and it only fuels your satisfaction.

“Aw, you didn't know? He’s taken, love.” You feel the shattering of her heart because of your claim on him. You can hear the collective gasp from those around you, the gossip starting to spread like wildfire. But you don’t care.

You’ve made your point, and so has he.

The music pulses around you, but all you can focus on is the feeling of his hands on you, his breath on your neck, and the pounding of your heart that matches the beat of the song.

It’s only when you hear Jirou's loud “Yooo!” that you snap out of your trance, realizing just how much attention you’ve drawn. You can feel the blush creeping up your neck, but Katsuki just chuckles, pulling you closer. “Guess there’s no hiding it now, huh?” he mutters, nipping at your ear.

You shake your head, smiling despite the embarrassment. “Nope.”

The flash of a camera catches your eye, and you spot Sero standing nearby, phone in hand as he snaps a picture of the two of you. “This one’s going on the ‘gram!” he shouts, grinning like a fool.

Before you can protest, Katsuki smirks, leaning back against the couch as he pulls you against his chest. “Let ‘em see.”

The photo blows up within minutes, and the next day, it’s all anyone can talk about. Your social media is flooded with comments, memes, and edits of the moment you publicly claimed Katsuki Bakugo as your own.

And for once, he doesn’t mind.

Taglist (I love you guys so freakin much <3)

@cupkiki @the-random-kitten @atashiboba @your-mum3000 @h0ngh0ngh0ng @gentle-roxyboo @xxiamabookdragonxx @guitargirl2000 @crimsonrubie @yungrichbitch @jaywhat333 @lemonnightmare @maeririka @talkgirl30 @big-denki-energy @lovingjeankirstein @aalny4 @tonkatesuramen

426 notes · View notes

hxpel3s5-slxxt · 8 months

Text

𝔐𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔢

Characters: Takashi Mitsuya x Reader, Keisuke Baji, Nahoya Kawata, Takemichi Hanagaki, rest of Toman mentioned

Warnings: Swearing, bitches messy asl, idek girl this shit jus came to me

A/N: Italics+bold=other girl

"Bitch, you look like a fucking mutt, bitch."

Right now, you and Toman were on the way to see a movie. You sure as hell was not getting on no motorcycle, so ya'll were walking.

However, comma, dumbass Takemichi had to use the restroom even after you told everyone to go before ya'll left.

So, ya'll stop at a park so he can go. While ya'll were waiting, some little girl wanna come up and flirt with your man.

At first, you were side-eyeing her and rolling your eyes like, 'Bitch, get the fuck on.'

You brushed it off, cause you know you and Mitsuya are locked in for real. Besides, everyone could tell he wasn't feeling her at all.

Now, not once during this whole ordeal was you ever disrespectful towards that little girl, but she wanna be rubbing on his arm and shit. So, you had to do something. As politely as you could muster, you said, "Uhm, ion think my man wants you touching all on him like that."

And you gently pushed her crusty hands off him. Then, she wants to go and get disrespectful and say, "Don't touch me, you musty bitch."

Okay, now you're upset.

Then, Mitsuya, being the gentleman he is, says, "You need to watch your mouth. I really wasn't interested anyway." And shrugs her off.

Then, for some reason, she wanna go off on you.

"Bitch, please. You look like Freddy Krueger. I really should beat your ass."

Mitsuya, already knowing something was about to happen, was already between the two of you and pushing you back.

That aint do shit, though, cause all you did was yell over his shoulder.

"Nigga, you should not be talking, ho. You got a whole seafood boil in your panties." At this point, you was reaching over his shoulder, trying to grab her, cause she wanna fight, right? But Mitsuya was not having it. Nigga was holding you back, tryna talk you out of fighting that little girl.

At that, the bitch was just standing there, not doing anything, but she wanted to talk all big and bad, so you called her out.

"Bring yo Hungry, Hungry, Hippo looking ass over here, bitch. You aint slick. I thought you wanted to beat my ass."

Now she wanna walk up (still a safe distance away, cause the bitch is scary as fuck) and start putting her hands in your face.

"Bitch, you're scary; you're terrifying, ho! Run up, get done up, bitch! I'm like that."

You really have to look at her like she's dumb, cause she can see you're being held back. "Bitch, you look like a fucking mutt, bitch. You see he's not letting me go. Don't try and play that."

At this point, you're done arguing with a stupid ho, so you let Mitsuya take you back to the rest of Toman.

Everybody else brought their girlfriend too, so they were ready to fight because the bitch on the phone was talking about, "Let me call my friends," like a bitch. You and your friends can get it.

You see that Takemichi is back, and everyone was ready to go. Except for Nahoya and Baji, who had one arm around their girlfriends and were recording the fight with the other. You roll your eyes at them and smile.

"Ya'll ghetto as fuck." You laugh, smacking their heads.

"Aint you fighting with some girl in public?" Baji points you out.

"For real." Nahoya backs him up.

"Nah, cause she wasn't ready for this work." You giggle and go to hold Mitsuya's hand.

"Come on, so we can go see this movie."

81 notes · View notes

bluebunnysart · 2 months

Text

Fanart of my own fanfiction (Chimera Teto x Android Miku)

Good news! When I woke up and looked at my art again today, I liked it, so here's the uncolored version! I trust you tumblr people, so here you go! You may view. This technically means I've drawn UTAU Teto (here) and SynthV Teto, but I really want to color this and take my time doing so, so here are the lines before it turns into something else hahaha 😂😂😂 Read More for the stuff I wanted to write last night but was too tired to (also the art time lapse)

I showed like two WIPs of different ideas on Twitter but none of them were this LOL (just goes to show how much I wanna draw and see of these two specifically) but the reason I decided to go with this is 'cuz that fanfic I wrote in like one day really got me excited and it made me really want to draw them as I was imagining more stuff about them. Here I'll talk about what I had in mind

I love chimera Teto, especially her majestic wings, and what I drew here is basically inspired by that! Teto's basically the only "living, sentient" thing around Miku so far (I dunno how to approach adding more creatures just yet), which makes Miku extra interested in her. But basically Miku likes Teto's wings and tail too and is very fascinated by them.

I had an idea where Miku is just holding or playing with Teto's tail out of nowhere and complimenting the heck out of her, and that was condensed into this piece. It was too crowded on Miku's side to have Teto's tail there as well, but the reason Teto's embarrassed (tsundere is nice, aint it xD) is 'cuz Miku is indeed praising the heck out of her. Calling her cute and saying how cool her wings are and whatnot.

The dialogue kinda goes like, "Your wings are so cool! And I really like how expressive your tail is! I wonder what I would do with a tail. It's so cute! Actually, now that I think about it, all of you is really cute!!" (Teto, embarrassed: "Stop talking now.") wwww

Miku does have a kinda tail actually! It's the chain on top of her skirt. As an android, I was thinking it works as sort of a battery plug or USB or something. I can show off more of that later (since it's really small here lol) but she can use it to receive electricity and recharge herself, I guess~. (Note to self: make it bigger?)

I haven't shown off much of my art style, but most (normal) characters usually don't have pupils. (See: this Teto, who's a living breathing creature.) As a result, I decided to give Miku pupils (kinda robot-like) to make her seem like more of a robot. She also wears the thing (headphones) over her ears, of course, which I can also use to make her seem more robot-like. There's no green flashing of code in her eyes right now but I might draw that sometime too, after my loads of other ideas...

Teto's wings aren't fragile. They're probably firm, hard, and could even be scaly/rough (up to my own whims or the reader's own preference). Her letting Miku touch her (wings) is probably a huge display of trust/confidence. Teto's wings are strong enough to carry her far distances and even allow her to fly in bad weather, I think. It's up to Teto herself how much energy/desire she has to do things like that though.

This is mentioned in the fic too, but Teto probably folds her wings a lot so they don't get in the way. She's kinda like a bird. I think her silhouette against the sun or moon, with full wingspan, is probably majestic (I'm imagining the Batman symbol for some reason lol). I know some people color Teto's wings as purple, but I specified black in my fic to match her tail. ^^

In order for her wings to breathe, there are probably holes in the back of her outfit to accommodate them, but they're only big enough for the wings (ellipses/ovals probably): she either tears/cuts holes into the shirts she wears for her wings or they already fit her wings so there's no problem. I wonder if Teto made her UTAU outfit herself in this setting. xD (A girl has to pass the time SOMEHOW plus she's probably at least a little bit handy when it comes to clothes and stuff (survival).)

If, while I'm coloring, I need to make adjustments to the seating and lineart and all that, I will, but I figured I'd show off what made me stay up 'til 5 AM last night and then get embarrassed to post 'cuz I thought I wasn't finished yet. I woke up and I liked it, so I'm just gonna put it in this here blog. c:

I don't know how to color, so coloring will be a trip 😂

#my art #vocaloid #utau #negidrill #mikuteto #tetomiku #kasane teto #hatsune miku #uncolored #lineart #chimera #android #song fanart #end of the world au

39 notes · View notes

bullet-prooflove · 4 months

Text

The Crab Dance Prompt List

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also read the rules and do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

I saw you downtown kissing another man

But we don't say forever, but when we're together

I fell in love with I looked over and saw her singing to the radio

And all them other boys say she's a goodbye girl

Honey, dance with me in this bar tonight

I’m the boy that’s always been in love with you til the end

Don’t mind the strain of a hurricane, they come around every June

You were hitchhiking on an old dirt road

Nobody taught her it takes a lot of water to wash away New Orleans

It 3am Im overthinking again

Why do I still give a damn about you

Yeah, I ain't tryna fix her I just wanna kiss her

Sitting on the front porch with a cigarette burning

Baby you look hotter than west Texas sunshine

She never wanted to be white picket fenced in

Looking out through my window Watching the snowflakes fall

Remember all the nights we had?

But here she is, free, layin' next to me 'Cause I ain't tryna to tame her love

I'm terrified of being alone, so I've been seeking out affection

You once called me forever, now you still can't call me back

Staring out at the sunset With you by my side

There's moments in life that I regret Like never holding you close

And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose

You promised me I was more than all the miles combined

Wake up again in an old motel

One day you wake up, he’s packing up his truck

Why can’t I move on and give a fair chance to someone new.

And leave before the mornin' sun

And I'm missing you like hell

He stays for the night but hes gone by the morning

Go on tell me what you really feel, because I’ve been dying to know.

And I know you have gone with her and I can't go back home

She ain't living for a diamond ring

I keep the windows down and the wind in her hair

So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad

We're burnin' it down Blazin' up a trail of smoke

Why can’t I find a way to forget being in love with you

I said "I love you" but I, I never even meant it,

No, I am no longer funny, 'cause I miss the way you laugh

Wherever we are, wherever we go Yeah, that's where she calls home

Just looking for somebody as wild as her

It’s clear that we were meant to be.

It's getting cold but that sun is cresting

And I recall what she said That she wanted me dead But there ain't no grave deep enough

You don’t want to know what he said about you

My other half was you I hope this pain's just passin' through

And I know your daddy wants to shoot me dead

And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim

Should've left me at the door, but you let me in And now, your heart is on the floor

I put up a fight because I can’t stand the sight of his hands touching you

Too many different women in my phone

You aint opposed to digging up old bones and raking over the pas

Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't facet.

I'm sorry, baby, I'm a liar How is it possible to love someone else if I can't even love myself?

It’s a little piece of heaven when we lay down at night

She keeps on loving me and I keep on wondering why.

Love letters written in the dead of night

You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive

But I took her heart, and then I ripped it in half This ain't the first time I've done this neither

11 notes · View notes

calebwittebane · 4 months

Text

gaia update!

her next appointment is later today, still monitoring the new tumor before we decide on the next step... sure hope this time chemo ends up being enough, i really dont want her to have to go thru yet another surgery. its a risk every time for an older cat like her. plus its in a difficult spot this time, close to ligaments and stuff. also, and i know its a strange thing to say, in this case her loving me so much actually constitutes something a problem... she fully wakes up the second she hears my voice or smells my presence, when it wouldve been better for her to sleep off the nausea and grogginess for a little longer 😭 but at the same time i dont wanna wait longer to pick her up because i know she'd be very very upset to wake up while i wasn't there. babyyyy

right now shes feeling and looking okay though. she got some anti-inflammatory shots on monday to help with her teefies, cuz her gums had been hurting (probably its cuz her immune system aint doing so hot rn), and it really helped. she ate a LOT yesterday and seemed really content about it. full tummy gaia :) the problem with her and her teeth is that it's kind of a recurring issue, once again probably stemming from her immune system getting kinda overwhelmed, and it makes it hard for her to eat her kibble (even if the bikkies are small, and soaking them isn't an option because she will NOT touch soggy bikkies even if she's very hungry). while id love to just switch her to wet food full time, that makes her poops very soft (very bad news for her and her funny furry pantaloons) and i... dont have the budget for it... i wouldnt give her and amity anything with a vague ingredients list and without stellar reviews, and high quality wet food in the "full meals every day" quantity is just not something i can afford. so she gets a nice spoonful of her favorite wet food (or canned tuna! she loooooves tuna) after taking her meds and thats it. i love that since its a reward for swallowing her pills, and amity gets the wet food too, amity always stands close and bonks gaia beforehand, like she's encouraging her and saying good luck... amity has been very nice to gaia in general lately. i mean she's still a bit of a nuisance to her, just because their personalities clash a little, but shes been trying hard to be very gentle. i loooooove amity's new habit of kissing gaia's paws. it's so sweet and adorable... thats right amity, your big sister is very fancy and chic, with dainty pawsies that need to be kissed!

she's also been very playful, which is good. she's got energy! and a new favorite toy, once again its part of a larger toy amity customized for herself (ripped parts off of) and it's this soft fuzzy orb thing. she's also been a little whiny, but i'm pretty sure that's just her complaining about the heat, it's not uncommon for her in summertime. she feels better when the fan is pointing at her. oh and she hates the lawnmowers outside... i dont wake up from the noises i wake up from her yelling at the noises ajdhfbxkdj. shes so annoyed.

wish it were easier to get a pet groomer appointment in this doggone town. a lion cut would definitely help her cope with the temperatures. plus knowing how funny she looks when her fur is wet id love to see her BALD she would look soooo funny. all the places with good reviews are always fully booked though it seems. swear to god this is all such a scam, Back In My Day if your cat was in surgery you could ask the vet to go ahead and give them a lion cut while they were still under anesthesia lmao. my own clippers just don't work with her fur either, it's too fine and soft. the cons of being a fluffy cloud... a toasted meringue angel... a lovely tiramisu girl... a silly baby s'more... a caramel frappucino princess...

13 notes · View notes

musigrusi · 2 years

Text

Aight this is Pt.2 of my list, enjoy

Part 1

Farah

HABIBI MY SISTERRRR

Will cook Couscous all day every day for her istg

Inshallah may your days be forever blessed and your plans always sucessful

Mashallah

The rEAL kind of Tea Time with pine nuts and everything, fight me

Will probs bicker about different pronounciations, 10/10 tho

I will make use of all the bomb/arab jokes I have been told and rate em with her. Will also make use of my new bomb skills I learned from Soap lol.

Throwing shoe contests

Alex

I feel like he would be the kind to speak arabic with that horrible western accent

Will defo tag team with Farah to make fun of him

Will also console him when he feels bullied

"You're doing great baby, it aint your fault you are linguistically challenged. DW we still love you"

That kind of shit

Will teach him niche curse words and tell him it's a compliment

Will watch from afar how he gets decked by Farah lol

He has a crush on Farah, say what you want. And I will bully him relentlessly about it.

I will, however, be his wingman and tell him all the things she likes/dislikes. Will teach him how to cook and season AND, most importantly, how to evade the flying shoe™

Laswell

MOTHER

I wanna be adopted by her and her wife

Will chase her with adoption papers until they are signed

That is all

Thank you for comming to my TED Talk

Valeria

The love hate of siblings, but make it two sisters.

Don't touch my stuff or I will eat your liver

But also don't touch her or I will eat your liver

Will throw chanclas at her for no reason

I can see her make my blood boil by teasing and annoying me

But I would give that vibe back tenfold

Will start a new rumor abt her and Alejandro every week

Will make and execute plans to lock her and him in a room and shit like that.

Gift her a cool shirt and wait until she wears it comfortably as her PJs before telling her that it's Alejandro's

Will send video footage of her sleeping in it and then her finding out to Alejandro and all of Los Vaqueros

Roach

I don't have too much to go off of him but the mother instincts are tingling

Teach me ASL, this is not a request, thank you

I *will* mother him just as badly as Gaz and Rodolfo, if not more.

Can't handle spice? Blasphemy, but I shall make you a serving with minimal spice.

König

Strap in, this is gonna be a long one

Listen up you Austrian Fuck

Honestly, I feel kinda bad for him because,

If he speaks English, I would have a meltdown over his pronounciation

If he spoke German, I would have a laugh flash over his dialect.

There is no way he could evade my bullying

Constant bickering over whose pronounciation is correct.

Listen you fuckwhipe, it's "Brätzel" with a nice and short ä NOT "BREEEEETZEL" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CALL IT.

This would all be in good humor

Not

Will bond over mutual hate of English and American"bread" listen, i dont know what bread ever did to offend you so much to lead you down such a dark path of mutilating its recepie but pls come back to the light

Cook off, because I like Austrian dishes and I will bribe him with Maultaschen, Röschti and Fondue.

Will have him speak French for comedy (have you ever heard an Austrian speak French? You are missing out on A-tier commedy my friend)

Mutual agreed silence

The germanic awkwardness is not felt between us.

The 'tism will also be happy, 10/10

Will force it to cuddle

Horrible Schlager and Après-Ski playlists playing on enless loop just to piss him off

Will use increasingly cringey pet names on him

Mausi/Müüsli, Schatzi/Schätzeli, Schnuggeli, Gaggibolle, Pupser, Zuckerschnute, Zimtschnecke/Schnäggli, (Creme)Schnittchen, Spatzi/Späzzli, Schnuggelpupser, Hasi/Hääsli, Bärchen, Entchen

Listen I have an endless list not only in German, but Swiss German too, which is infinitely more cringe fight me

I would not be above using French and Italian terms of endearment either because, do you know how sappy they are? You'll get a stroke just hearing them

Mon bijou, Amore, mon chéri, Caro, mon âme, Tesoro, Chouchou, mon coeur *insert gagging*

Can't rlly curse him out in my dialect since there's a 85% chance he'd understand it all, but also

He could not curse me out in his dialect bc there's an 90% chance I'd understand it all lmao.

Can and will constantly complain that he is TOO DAMN BIG and promptly abuse him for whatever one can use a large strong man for.

Will compliment on said strength and revel in his subsequent shyness over the compliment.

I could see myself be overly agressive with compliments for the sole benefit of turning him beat red or very quiet.

I love Nietsche and Kafka, two german speaking authors that the majority of german speakers hate with a burning passion. Naturally, if he were bed ridden with injury or sickness, I'd read him works of the two to him.

I am such a kind and compassionate friend, am I not?

Anyways that is all lol enjoy

46 notes · View notes

shitty-mobile-game-reviews · 1 year

Text

super slime slimeinator

sorry, super slime simulator. (literally my attitude for the whole game lmao)

yeah, it's a slime game.

it has "slime touching" graphics.

it makes disgusting "slime" noises.

i've terrorized my friends with it.

i love this game, no matter how janky-2004-DS game it is.

the game opens with the worst sound to ever exist,

followed by teaching u how to make a slime, which is pretty simple. u just kinda... make a slime.

...like u choose what type u want to make (u start out with a couple of types, ex. "classic" slime which i personally believe is a government fallacy but u do u) and then u circle ur finger around a dish to make it. then, u choose a colour and mix it in. then u choose 1 or 2 types of decorations and their colours (if they have that option. some don't- lookin at you, "jelly cubes")

some exciting exhilarating gameplay (ignore the ads at the bottom idk why they're there they aint even personalized smh):

then u finish, name it an play with it if you're a psychopath. i prefer the elite route of making slimes and never fuckin touching them bc they're nasty as hell.

there's also a chest thing which is ridiculously easy to unlock and will give you new slime... things:

and for some reason, this game seemingly with no story to it, has SIDE QUESTS. Where we meet, for the second time since the tutorial, the "mascot" for this game: Lulu.

She is just a fuckin person. She's a human mascot who somehow got her little godfearing name on things like "lulu's slime quest" and other equally icky things like that. She also somehow has her own collection of slimes, with ones worse than anything my pathetic little hands could even fathom making.

Note: I have no idea who Noggi is.

and she forces you to make her slimes for her. exactly the way she wants it. or you lose.

there's also some weird games like Slime My Image where u glunk up one of ur photos (I glunked up miku teehee):

And also Slime Painter, where you can colour on a "slime" at will:

And additionally, the real man's gambling, the aptly named Guessing Game:

(i guessed correctly btw)

However, if u have had enough of those games, check out the tons of premade slimes that u can play with.

That is, if ur the kind of person who downloaded this game to...

erm...

to play with slimes.

o_O cringe if thats u

anyway, if u enjoy that, they made a fuckton of disgusting slimes that are strangely reminiscent of something i once knew and desperately want to forget all there for u to......... play with.

Either way, if ur the type of gamer who needs regular validation, there's a series of incredibly rigorous daily quests to complete, which will truly test ur grit and determination as a Super Slime Simulator Pro Gamer™

The quests will demand various things, but most prominently, the grindworthy adventures of:

opening the game (im shakin in my boots)

making a slime (consider my timbers positively shivered upon)

playing with said slime (ew)

playing a single level of Lulu's Slime Quest (crying shaking screaming)

and other such harrowing tasks.

Now that I've briefed u on the game, let's get into some fun little details!

u can't turn the sfx off.

there is no option to turn the sfx off

the sfx make me want to McPerish™

i wanted to listen to music while playing this game but you can't turn the sfx off

there are some "fun and interesting" slime types that nobody's ever made before and nobody ever wants to make! I won't spoil them for u, but u definitely will spoil!

the colour names are fun, flirty and sometimes Pukeworthy! (there's a colour called carmine! how wonderfully fucking disgusting!)

there's one colour that i'm not so sure about!

Also, if you want to SHARE a slime with someone, you can "gift" it to them (gee, thanks) and they recive a fun little gift box all customized by you. mery cihsmast.

SO NOW THAT YOU'RE REALLY HAVING FUN, WANNA HEAR ABOUT OUR OTHER GAMES?

REALLY?

NO?

YOU SURE?

HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU ADS EVERY 20 SECONDS, BUT ALL OF THE ADS ARE FOR DIFFERENT BUT NOT UNSIMILAR GAMES MADE BY OUR COMPANHY?

NOT INTERESTED?

GET SQUISHY MAGICked FUCK YOU

anyway, it's a fun game. 7/10 would squelch again.

That's all for Super Slime Simulator! It's not that bad but certainly quite jank. Loves ya :P

#fun #games #mobile games #online games #video games #weird games #slime game #slime #super slime simulator #an impressively crunk game for an impressively crunk person(?)#silly goofy games #silly goofy #fun game #funky game #funky #very strange game for a very strange little man (girl?)

5 notes · View notes

wildcatofgreen · 2 years

Text

"You said her artifact can teleport her, correct?"

"Well, yeah, but--"

"Then there is nothing more that needs to be said. If you can be with her, then call her to you. Failing that, go to her. Enjoy her presence, bask in her love.

"You might never know when it's your last time to do so. I would rather you not suffer the same fate as me."

The centurion stood, and without another word, left the metallic chamber, left this personal hell, to move on to another.

That wildcat...

It reminded her too much of Cordelia. From how the hatchling described her, she had that same snark and joy, even down to having a similar stone, though, her's sounds much more powerful than Cordelia's.

Curious. How a stray like her landed upon power like that?

The centurion can only hope she doesn't abuse it, or let it fall into the hands of bastards.

Hmph.

---

Anonymous asked: So, are you gonna go visit her?

"I mean... I wanna, right?

"But that ain't how the gem works!!! Like, I like Cory's idea as much as the next guy, but it ain't like I can just think really hard an' be brought 'ta her!!! It ain't how it works!!!"

#''stupid cory. she doesnt understand anything.'' #''think she's hot shit yeah well TOO BAD YOU AINT NOTHIN' SIS. 3:<''

---

Anonymous asked: How are you gonna see her again?

"I... I don't know. Outside of just telling her to fly over here.

"I'm not even sure if what Merga said to do was a good idea. I mean, Carol's probably super busy being the Battlesphere Champion by now. I wouldn't want to interrupt that. Especially for something not important."

#I have this pit in my stomach... #Was I really so easy to read...?

---

Anonymous asked: Do you think she feels the same?

"Noooot even slightly, bub. She's 'prolly smoochin' with some guy down there, wherever she is.

"Stones, she's probably not even gay!!! What the hell am I thinkin', man??? Cory's got all these stupid ideas in my head now. Stones damn it!!!"

#''when this is all over im kicking her ass.''

---

Anonymous asked: Do you think she feels the same?

"I don't know. I mean, I've thought about it before. She always gets a little bit flustered around me, whenever I get too close.

"I didn't think much of it back then. But, maybe...

"Oh, who am I kidding? That girl's probably straight as a board. I think she just wasn't used to being touched back then. Last time we were together, she was perfectly fine."

#This whole idea is stupid anyway.

---

Anonymous asked: Do you want to be with her?

"More than anythin', really.

"But I jus'... I can't even see it happenin'. It dun't feel possible."

#''she's gonna reject me i already know it i already know it i already know it''

---

Anonymous asked: Do you want to be with her?

"I didn't realize it before, but all of those feelings... all of those times I felt safe and fuzzy around her...

"I guess I do.

"But it's too late now, isn't it? It's not like I can talk to her again without going mainland."

#Maybe /this/ is my biggest regret...

---

Anonymous asked: Isn't there ANY way you contact her?

"Look, I'mma text her right now. An' when it says ''service unreachable'', y'all can get on all fours an' eat my ass, got it?"

#''y'all're stupid as shit i swear'' #''what part of ''i havent talked to her in weeks'' are y'all not gettin' here''

---

wildcatofgreen: sup lyli i know this message aint gettin to ya but im try'na prove a point.

The water dragon froze.

Her phone just lit up.

Was that... Carol?

But... how??? What???? She doesn't have reception!!! How is she...

lilmissheropants: Lol! Idk how you're texting me right now but whatever you're doing, keep doing it!!!

The wildcat froze, almost dropping her phone out of her hand.

Excuse her??? She responded??? But, what? How??? She doesn't have reception!!! How's she supposed to--

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught something.

That stupid green gemerald--it's glowing brighter than usual.

Hell, of course this would be that thing's fault. Of course.

Well, she can actually thank it for once. This was only purely a good thing.

---

wildcatofgreen: kkay i figured it out on my own blame the gemerald lilmissheropants: Again? How much trouble has that thing gotten you in??? wildcatofgreen: lmao how much do you think lyli lilmissheropants: Way too much!!! lilmissheropants: You should totally get rid of that thing sometime. wildcatofgreen: girl we literally wouldnt be talkin rn if i didnt have it wildcatofgreen: be thankful lilmissheropants: Good point LOL

The two had texted each other for hours, speaking about the past couple of weeks, catching each other up on their lives. Lilac would tell a story about foraging, Carol would tell a story about Neera. Lilac would tell a story about all the pretty sights and the new people she's met, Carol would tell a story about another one of Milla's potions. On and on and on this would go, until the dragon finally said something different.

lilmissheropants: Hey... can I tell you something? wildcatofgreen: duh. we wouldnt be besties if you couldnt

They both would wince at the word--Carol for having to use it, Lilac for seeing it.

lilmissheropants: I...

The dragon stroke her fingers across the phone's keyboard, a collection of characters appearing in the bar--the letter combinations made nothing but words of gibberish. It seems like she was stalling.

lilmissheropants: Merga told me something. wildcatofgreen: big fish lady droppin the DEETS wildcatofgreen: what she say? what she say? lilmissheropants: That you should come visit!! wildcatofgreen: i aint stealin another plane that shit's exhaustin lilmissheropants: No like, with you're gemerald! lilmissheropants: Dummy! wildcatofgreen: *your :3c wildcatofgreen: sdi this is what cory said too lilmissheropants: She wants you to visit? wildcatofgreen: somethin like that wildcatofgreen: she wants me to just teleport to you usin the gemerald but how tf am i gonna do that wildcatofgreen: you and i both know i cant CONTROL this thing wildcatofgreen: last time it threw me anywhere i was neck deep in an alternate brevon's business and you KNOW you dont want me to go through that shit again lilmissheropants: Don't remind me. XC lilmissheropants: I don't know then lilmissheropants: Maybe I could go over there? wildcatofgreen: lmao with what money girl wildcatofgreen: you got enough money to catch a plane? lilmissheropants: I mean, I don't need money to go over there. I got over to Parusa by ''hitching a ride'', if you know what I mean! X) wildcatofgreen: never thought id see the day where MY lyli is stealing free plane rides wildcatofgreen: for shame for shame lilmissheropants: You'd do it too and you know it! wildcatofgreen: yeah and stealin's like wildcatofgreen: my THING wildcatofgreen: you'd think you'd know that by now. ;/ lilmissherpants: LOL I'm gonna beat your BUTT when I get back up there! wildcatofgreen: mhm yeah okay try me lyli wildcatofgreen: im an amazin kung fu kitty ill be all like WATCHA WAHBAM WHABLAM!!!! and youll be on the floor like ''oh no carol please have mercy wah wah wah'' lilmissheropants: LOL XD lilmissheropants: Suuuure you would! Like I don't win most of our sparring matches!!! wildcatofgreen: and besides i dont think itd be a good idea for you to come back up here for like wildcatofgreen: what wildcatofgreen: a day? wildcatofgreen: you got your dragon stuff i got my battlesphere stuff wildcatofgreen: we'd just be wasting each other's time really

...

A pit fell into both of their stomachs.

The dragon stared at the feline's words, solemnly rubbing her thumb against the screen. She... she had a point, didn't she? Why would she bother? Her time would be better spent just... studying. Figuring out that language, learning about her people, things like that.

A groan, a whimper. When she's right, she's right.

Meanwhile, the wildcat was holding her head in her hands, screaming (internally, for once). What the hell was she doing??? Why was she just pushing her away like this??? What the hell's the point? To make herself even more miserable than before? To create her own special hell, to dig herself deeper to that pit???

She wants to see her--she desperately wants to see her. It's the least, the very least she can do. And hell, if Lilac's offering, then...

The two responded, their timing near identical.

wildcatofgreen: i mean ofc this aint to say that you shouldnt come i think you probably should lilmissheropants: Yeah I don't know what I was thinking. It was a silly idea anyway.

They blinked. A lull in their response time as they looked over the other's sent words.

Then, they responded again.

wildcatofgreen: i mean shit we've done sillier but if you dont wanna come im cool with that that's fine lilmissheropants: Though if you WANT me to come I'm not opposed to it.

Another lull, another blink.

The wildcat was the first to respond this time.

wildcatofgreen: okay okay okay what the hell are we doing here wildcatofgreen: are you visiting or not we cant keep going around in circles like this lilmissheropants: If lilmissheropants: You want me to come? I'll come! wildcatofgreen: alright then its settled wildcatofgreen: but like wildcatofgreen: when?

A final lull, and a final identical timing.

lilmissheropants: I could come over tomorrow if it's not a problem? wildcatofgreen: maybe tomorrow so all this can be done faster

This caused the two to erupt in laughter. They knew each other so well, been around each other for so long--they were just steps away from finishing each other's sentences. It was so stupid, so very, very stupid.

But it was great--incredible, even, that they were like this. That they were so in sync like this. A bond that could never be broken. A love that could never be stomped.

wildcatofgreen: well alright then guess tomorrow it is! lilmissheropants: Alright! lilmissheropants: It's a date!

---

Anonymous asked: You two are dating now?

"What? No. She didn't mean it like that, you dope.

"A calendar date. Get your head out your ass."

#''wait'' #''could she...?'' #''nah thatd be stupid'' #''its just a normal friends thing thats all''

---

Anonymous asked: A ''date''?

"Do you think that was too forward? Do you think she'll know before tomorrow...?

"I don't know why but, the thought of her knowing, it just..."

#I shouldn't be so scared #But I am... #I don't know why #It doesn't make sense...

---

Anonymous asked: Do you think you're ready to see her again?

"As ready as I'll ever be. Stones, Iun't even know what 'ta say. Do I jus' like, act normal? Or do I like say somethin' right off the bat? Or maybe I jus' dun't do anythin' and act like it's just friends bein' friends! Right?"

#''fuck dude you got no idea the anxiety runnin through my head rn'' #''i know she doesnt like me i know she doesnt like me i KNOW she doesnt like me'' #''but why is this givin me so much fuckin' HOPE?'' #''UGH''

---

Anonymous asked: Do you think you're ready to see her again?

"I don't have much of a choice but to be ready, right?

"Whatever happens, happens. And I gotta deal with it."

---

Anonymous asked: How will this affect your Battlesphere Champion try out?

"Right. Those things are on the same day, y'know. Almost forgot about it, really.

"I'm thinkin' I jus'... skip it, right? Like, if it comes in between me and her... it should be her everytime. No matter how cool it is."

#''and if shit falls through i could always ask to do a redo right'' #''or i can jus focus on my mechanics stuff more'' #''like i got options i aint gonna be broke if i dont do this thing'' #''i think.''

---

Anonymous sked: How's this going to affect your learning?

"It's just a day off, right? Leave tomorrow, come back the next day.

"And... Merga told me to do it, so I should be fine both ways, right?" Right?

#It'll be like I never left. #I just hope everything goes well tomorrow...

------

The wildcat rolled over in her bed, groaning all the while. She's never felt more dread in her life. This idea was stupid, just exceedingly stupid. Damn it, why'd she convince herself into this!!! Why'd she convince Lilac into this??? It's just gonna end in regret and sorrow she knows it she knows it she knows it!!!

Fuck!!!

She knew she had to get up, she knew she had to get up, but stones she really, really did not want to.

Hell, Lilac might not even come, right? Who knows how many planes there are out of Parusa? That place is barely an island!!! No way would it have consistent flight schedules--

lilmissheropants: Good morning, sleepy head! lilmissheropants: Just got on the plane! I think I'll be up there an about an hour. lilmissheropants: Wait for me, okay? Talk to ya soon! <3 lilmissheropants: Oh! And don't tell anyone I'm coming, okay? I don't want to hang out with anyone but YOU today!

The dragon clicked her phone off then shoved it in her pocket. A sigh escaped her maw. She looked up at the plane's hull, then nodded to herself, encircling herself with her latent energy and using it all to boost herself on top of the hull. She landed with only a little bit of trouble, steadying herself upright only after a moment or two. She smirked to herself, rubbing her nose with her index finger in a fashion much like Carol would.

She can run faster than this thing can fly. This is gonna go without a hitch.

wildcatofgreen: talk to ya soon lyli wildcatofgreen: your secret's safe with me :3c wildcatofgreen: have a safe flight <3

Hell, this was really happening, wasn't it? She was already coming up here, as if it wasn't a thing at all.

Well, if she was the only one who didn't show up, it'd be embarrassing on both their parts.

So, with a sigh, she'd drag herself out of bed.

She was gonna see Lyli again! She needs to calm down.

Because seriously, what's the worse that could happen?

"Okay, okay, okay, but like," the wildcat couldn't help but wave her hands at the dragon as they walked, "I expected ya 'ta be in the plane, girl! Not on it!!!"

"What, you've never seen a flying dragon before?" There was this aura of smugness in the dragon's tone, with an equally smug smirk attached.

"Not one like that! That's dangerous!!!" She elbowed the dragon's shoulder, "What, 'cause ya been on one giant flyin' dragon ya think ya can tame planes, too?"

She put her hands on her hips and stopped to stare at the feline. "This is coming the girl who does wheelies on her motorcycle on guardrails for fun. On the highway!"

The feline does a heel turn, putting a hand on her chest as she moon walks away from the dragon. "Y'see, that's different! You can easily fall off of a plane. I could never fall off my bike~." She radiated that same smugness the dragon did just a moment ago.

And to this, the dragon crossed her arms against her chest as she walked forward again, an eyebrow raised at the cat. "Yeah, sure, tell that to the walls."

"Oh come on!!!" She threw her hands in the air! "You know walls are my mortal enemy. They'd put a stop 'ta me no matter what!"

The two couldn't help but burst in shared laughter, the feline turning back around and waiting for the dragon to come next to her again. And, once she was in range, she'd put her arm over the dragon's shoulder, walking along with her as she does so.

It felt so nice to be together again, even if it was just for a day. It felt so comfortable, so relaxing, to have your best friend by your side. Knowing that she'd always have your back, knowing that you could always chill out and not have to worry about anything anymore. As long as she was there.

"So, Lyli, what'cha wanna do first? Go to our favorite sushi place? Or maybe we can get some udon? Oh, oh! Maybe we can be fancy and get some unagi, too!!!"

At this, the dragon had to think, putting a hand to her chin.

"Carol, have you ever had Adobo before?"

And to this, the wildcat stared blankly. "I... dun't think so? What is that?"

The dragon wasted no time, grabbing the wildcat's arm wrapped around her and running off to... somewhere. "Then lets not waste any time!!! I wanna show you all the awesome foods I had in Parusa!"

"HEY WAIT WHAT. WHERE ARE WE GOING. LILAC???"

Apparently, Parusian food's been around the three kingdoms for a while. Lilac and Carol remembered seeing some of their food spots way back when, but never bothered actually going in and checking it out. Thankfully, because of Lilac's time on Parusa, and finding what little bits of crystals she can around the area, she had a pretty decent knowledge of their food going in. Sure, most of the time she ate fish, but whenever she could she'd buy something from the restaurants. It was just that good.

Carol seemed to think so, too! She gobbled up everything that was thrown at her--adobo, sinigang, kaldereta, longganisa, she loved it all!!!

Meanwhile, Lilac noted that, while it was good, it seems like Parusian dishes had a certain charm if they were made in Parusa.

After their little food escapade, the two just hung out! As if they hadn't been separated to begin with. They raced, watched T.V., hit the local arcade, people watched--they tried to do anything and everything they could in the time allotted!!

Though, they did have a mutual agreement--nothing too close to the Royal Palace or Shang Mu. Which, Shang Mu wouldn't be too hard to avoid--it's an entirely different kingdom, all they had to do was not go on that highway.

The palace, however, was a different story. A lot of times, they sort of just absentmindedly wandered over there--one would think that, with these two being in Shang Tu so much over the years, they'd know the layout by heart. But apparently not--or if they knew it by heart, it very obviously wasn't well.

But, luckily, it seemed like they weren't spotted, at least.

Eventually, the sun started to set and the lights of Shang Tu started to turn on. Their time was running out.

Yet, there was one more place, one last place that the dragon wished to visit. A place she hasn't been to in a while, frankly.

She wanted to go see an old friend.

#carol's cruisings #wandering dragon #au: fates aligned #ageless centurion #part 5 of 7 #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AAAAAAAAAAAAA

0 notes

justabumatthepark · 2 years

Text

narcissist boy fuck a hoe

never lose half the pussy aint bey

I'm just trying to sip on this drank

and smoke on my joint

had some fire like propane

watch your lighter

my car making noise like a tai fighter

the way that I zoomed you would think it's a mazda

my hair growing like a fucking rasta

opened a five star in the hood

new flows for your spaghetti

no this ain't momma's boy

I be chillin' don't start with all of that trippin'

I'll put yo ass on that crucifix

hit up my plug

you know I need my fix

nigga coocoo like the trix

bunny

got to her crib she turned to a bunny

pussy too drippy like an allergic too runny

she rode me like a fucking pony

nigga keep your two pennies

that nigga miguel a whole menace

popped me a xan

out for the night

from Denver to Houston

my nigga got me on a new wave

this vintage shit

drippy

the drippiest hippie

a nigga just trying to cop him a milli

maybe a billi

like Pimp C I keep it too trilly

king of the hill like I'm hank

fuck these niggas purple hearts everywhere

they can't touch my rank

on my Tony Stark but I'm snorting

like I'm Tony Montana

she wanna come home with me she looking like

Hannah Montana

0 notes

allthingsakali · 6 years

Photo

AKALI GRACES THE COVER OF HIGH CUT!

For the January 16th through January 31st edition of High Cut, the self-proclaimed villainous monarch graced the cover. Making her comeback in Dec, on her very own birthday, she dropped an unheard of four album collection for her fans who waited an entire two years without a single word from the woman. While retaining her style, she showed off many different idols in different lights and the collection was well received by the public for the first time in her career. The collection has since sold out twice, with the demand for a third stock still very high. Public opinion has been shifted slowly in favor of Akali, since she signed on to film Romance and Idol, as well as her own reality show upcoming on January 18th.

Will we be seeing a lot of you this coming 2019?

AKALI: Considering how packed my January is, then also my February, and so is my March. I suspect there’s gonna be a lot of me and others everywhere. I went from doing nothing at all, expect things behind the scenes to a CEO and making a ‘comeback’ on my birthday and then being packed to the brim and honestly, I’m not sure which one I prefer.

I think you are under a lot of pressure as a CEO and an artist. How do you release your stress?

AKALI: Dancing. Even though dancing is part of my career, it’s the one thing that’ll relax me. I tend to hold up in a practice studio for a full day and come out with an entirely new piece of choreography at the end that I’ll put up on youtube. Dancing is my one true love. But I also like to sit and watch really awful movies, like Sharknado in my free time. Then there’s the home shopping network? I can waste hours watching that, and buying s*** I don’t need. Am I allowed to curse, are you going to censor me?

You are well known as being intimidating, and hard to talk to, as well as rude. Is that true?

AKALI: I’ve got the biggest resting b**** face on the planet, but honestly, I mostly just don’t like being around a lot of people at a time. I feel uncomfortable when there are a lot of people crowded around me, or if I’m in a situation where I have to interact with a bunch of people. I’m also really awkward when approached, so I guess I come off as hard to talk to because I just never know what to say. But on the rude part, as long as you respect my personal space and don’t try and touch me, I’m fine. I’m rude to the fans and people who want to just grab onto my hand or invade my bubble. I really don’t like when people do things like that, so I snap back at them.

Isn’t that the price of fame?

AKALI: No, what the f***. Not at all. I don’t think I should lose basic human rights just because I’m ‘famous’, and I’m using that term lightly. You don’t want random people coming up and touching you, or trying to find where you live, or invading your private space because they want a picture. Why should I? All you have to do is ask politely, sometimes I don’t want to take any pictures or maybe I’m out with family or friends and it’s just not the right time or place. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you don’t respect me, then how can you expect respect back?

Very valid point. Did you have a dream before you became who you are today? I’m not sure how to refer to you, as an idol or an artist, or just a CEO.

AKALI: Truthfully, I never thought I’d have a hand in running an entire company but I always knew I’d end up somewhere in the entertainment field. I was very confident in that. I was determined to be a dancer, it was only when I came to Korea that I discovered the stage and rapping. Also, I’m an artist. I’m not an idol, though nothing against them at all. All the idols that I know are incredibly hard working and immensely talented, but they are on the opposite side of me. I focus completely and utterly on music, while they have to do that and also learn how to do variety, acting, and so many other things. There’s a lot to being an idol that I just do not care for.

Do you look up to anyone in particular?

AKALI: My mother. That’s a given, everyone knows my mother is my pride and my heart, and everything in between. But if you mean musically, normally, I would say absolutely no one because I’m the only one I need but So Hyang is a whole princess. Her vocal technique is legitimately the best I’ve ever seen, the fact she can hit a Bb5 without switching into a head voice with power and belt it out is just untouchable. I’d love to learn something, anything from her. She’s such so phenomenal in her breath control and her technique. The face you are giving me tells me you really have no idea what I just said.

I don’t, at all actually, but you are a rapper. Why would a rapper need to learn from a vocalist?

AKALI: Jokes on you, and pretty much everyone else, I can sing extremely well. I’ve been training in singing since I was ten years old, which is nearly seventeen years ago. Holy sh*t, I’m getting old. Just like dancing, I never stopped training and practicing. I just prefer rapping, and feel more powerful when I’m rapping. I’ve always been known for soft ‘honey’ vocals and powerful, fierce in your face rap, but I can sing in other tones as well. I’ll show everyone soon, hopefully, just how well I can sing. You’ll be quite surprised.

I’m sure the fans would like to know what’s Akali’s true style, when she has a boyfriend and when she’s all alone?

AKALI: I- tend to like to spend time alone at home with my dogs when I’m alone, or go out to eat by myself, wow that’s so pathetic sounding. Or watch the home shopping network. When I have a boyfriend, most of the time we spend time at home because I can’t be bothered to want to go out any more than I already do. It always ends up with me being awake, them being asleep and the home shopping network playing. I like at home dates, and just spending time me and them, and my dogs.

Wait- you said when? So you’ve had a boyfriend before?

AKALI: I’ve dated a few times, though it’s been... about two years. I’m not really one to listen to my company about not dating, or not dating in general. I’m human, I don’t see what I need to be single all the time when most of my fans are females anyway. The obsession over dating is such a lost concept on me, but I also don’t like to share my personal life so when I date, no one really knows.

So that means we’ll be hearing love songs out of you? You said in an interview you would only write a love song if you were in love, or had experienced love?

AKALI: I honestly lied to filth and back in that interview. I’ve written plenty of love songs for other people, including the one on my collection. Love is such an easy topic to write about, the words are so easy to find when I’m not the one going to be singing it. However, I don’t think I’ll ever write a love song for myself. Because at the end of the day, talking about myself in love is a fictional construct that I can simply just not wrap my head around. I was in love once, when I was too young to really understand what it meant. I’ve not been in love since, though I have felt.. feelings towards some people before but it never gets deeper than that unfortunately, no one stays around long enough. Sorry, at my ex-boyfriends who are reading this. Yikes. I think I might have broken like four hearts with that line.

You’ve definitely proved your growth as an artist with the Collection, what’s the next challenge for you?

AKALI: My next challenge is to show who I am to the public. I’ve always lived privately, and my reputation has suffered greatly because of that. Not that I plan on changing who I am in the slightest, I will keep the same personality as it just is who I am but I want to show people that the rumors are just a bit and piece of me, that there are many different sides to the same person.

You said in a previous interview, you didn’t really find yourself to be a feminist icon, does that still ring true?

AKALI: With future plans, I think I’ve begun to step more comfortably into being a feminist icon. I want to show women that they too have the power to do whatever they want, when I was meeting with fans this coming comeback and at the showcases and performances, they would always tell me that I’ve inspired them to follow their dreams instead of just what their parents want them to do.

Future plans?

AKALI: I can’t tell you much, but you’ll be seeing a side of me that many people have greatly missed and hasn’t been seen in about.. four years. I’ve missed this side of me very much, and I’m excited to be showcasing it again.

Lightning round, yes or no answers!

Do you think you are the prettiest in the industry?

AKALI: Yes. If you don’t love yourself the most first and foremost, no one else is going to love you.

I’m lonely nowadays.

AKALI: Yes, that’s why I’ve been active. I missed my fans. It’s hard to be lonely but also like being alone.

I have “black history”, things that I want to erase from my past.

AKALI: No.. I suppose the things that happened to me made me who I am. Regardless of how black that history might be, I don’t think I’d be able to erase any of it without losing inspiration and things to write about.

When you sit across from Akali in all her glory it’s really intimidating, she’s got this aura about her that just makes you feel insignificant. Like you will never be anything compared to her, that she really was born to be a star. But in all honesty, she’s quite enjoyable to talk to, and the way she says things and how honest she is gives her this hint of humanity and hilarity. And the few times she smiled during the interview, her whole demeanor changes and it’s endearing. She’s actually quite likable when you sit down and talk to her.

Honestly, I knew of her before this but I think I’m going to be an Akali fan.

#NO HAVING PRIVACY INVADED IS NOT THE PRICE OF FAME!!!#IF SHE AINT WANNa be TOUCHED don't TOUCH her.#also love her bc that makes me cry when people actually see who she is behind the rumors.#uhghhghd df si m s o happy i could cry again #wait is that a tear #am i really cryin #probably #i love my queen.#also the cover?#step the FUCK on me and kill me.

1 note · View note

borathae · 2 years

Note

it's always mc pleasing jk and pegging him, making him moan and writhe beneath her as much as I LOVE to see him all subby, whiny and teary, I really want to see him pleasuring her like actually out of the shower- in the bedroom 🥺 she's a living sex goddess I agree 100% but really want to see more of aaol jk in action.

I don't know if you wanted to make it sound that way, but damn anon tone down the demanding nature of yours geez.

I create the things I enjoy writing about. I am 90% a service dom, which means I gain immense satisfaction and pleasure out of seeing my sub enjoy the things I do to them, I gain immense satisfaction and pleasure out of seeing my sub orgasm and hearing them moan and watching them lose themselves. I don't even have to orgasm myself to think of a scene as "satisfactory", just knowing that my sub had the best time and I did an amazing job as their dom is enough for me. If they wanna please me back, then of course hell yeah bonus points, but that's not a given for me.

This is what I enjoy and what also gives me the most joy whilst writing. And that is also why I enjoyed working on Wet Dream so much as writing about Jungkook literally loosing himself like that on the strap was something very satisfactory to write about.

Also you very much saw Jungkook in action for 7500 words. He is a sub, a very performative and vocal and eager to be shaped into position sub. And he gave a hell of a perfomance for that scene. His role in that story wasn't to please through his touches, but to please through his perfomance and I merely wrote that last paragraph to make you guys aware that "hey kook doesn't just take but never gives, he does actually wants to please her back" in order to avoid all those "okay but like why is HE always taking? so selfish" comments.

Again, I don't know if you wanted to make your ask sound that demanding, but geez next time come here and actually like give some feedback on the story I actually published instead of demanding a new one.

Edit because I thought of something else: I also have to tell you that I also feel very awkward writing all the recieving parts solely because I have to put myself into the role of the OC and write about “my bodily reactions” and this always makes me a lil uncomfortable because first of all, I don’t want to write about something so personal. And second of all not every body reacts the same. So if I for example write “he sucks on your nipple, sending electric tingles down to your pussy” there are people out there (me) who don’t have sensitive nipples and who would probably be all like “lol dude that aint working wtf” and then they have to sit through 4 paragraphs of him sucking on her titties eventhough it doesn’t do anything for them. Or some people like fingering, others hate it and those people would have very different reactions to the guy sticking their finger up their vagina. So I feel awkward writing about “how he makes you writhe with just fingers” when I know that there are people having to read this and feeling very uncomfortable about it. Which is why I most of the time try to stay away from too much recieving action.

#asks: wet dream #asks #anon

7 notes · View notes

lemonjamdraws · 3 years

Note

Me accidentally hitting unfollow while desperately trying to get to your ask box for the character meme lol but bro I know next to nothing about Rona please tell me your thoughts about Rona lol

WHO IS RONA (leftmost character)

Rona is a tabletop character I have for a scifi TTRPG called Stars Without Number. she is the most selfish and morally gray character i have ever made

FAVE THINGS

pro martial artist & a masseuse & 1000 charisma

STRONK BEEFCAKE. mechanically, she can NEVER miss a punch. she will ALways deal damage thanks to cool buffs

she is a HENCHKEEPER which means she has "a knack for collecting lost souls to do her bidding"

GIRLBOSS GASLIGHT GATEKEEP - she is so freaking arrogant

she is literally a SNAKE she has spied on the other party members

SIMILARITIES TO LILITH: fallen from grace from an incredibly high position and ALSO she has SISTER DRAMA

LEAST FAVE THING

she's actually perfect. some party members don't think so though

ok she is a wine alcoholic though

FAVE LINE

I've actually been the most objectively useful person around, so I should be the most-liked.

(spoilers, she is not the most-liked and she is Dumb of Ass)

BROTP

Rona and party member named Garrett. The two of them are called the SNAKE SQUAD bc he helped her spy on a third party member LMFAO

Rona & Sho, her doormat henchman who she is using as a chef and then also a boyfriend. this is very problematic behavior.

Rona & Myka (15yo psychic kid PC who is her roommate. she is an awful parent and he is an awful kid who probably was grown in a lab)

Rona and Ash, ash is the most normal player character and actually confronted rona about Snakedom

OTP

ok it just wouldn't be healthy for anyone involved but right now the only potential outcome is her and her doormat boy Sho

HER otp is her and revenge

NOTP

unfortunately it is a tabletop game and yall aint know anything about it

HEADCANON

due to her fucked up arrogance, she is also emotionally reserved

UNPOPULAR OPINION (amongst the other players)

i think she's great

SONG(s)

I DON'T TAKE INSULTS LIGHTLY by MADDS BUCKLEY

I don't take insults lightly If I could speak politely With just a touch I could disperse your atoms into dust With just a breath I'll bring you screaming from the brink of death I break the high and mighty I don't take insults lightly

If God's a Woman then you should be praying 'Cause I'm the only bitch that capable of sparing you Concrete cracks and crumbles Foundations fall to rubble The jaws of death are snapping The beak of Ravens cackling I break the high and mighty I don't take insults lightly

this is like the MOST girlboss song out of all my girlboss songs

PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE by UPSAHL

Hello, it's so good to see you We met before but nice to meet you Yeah, I don't really wanna be here like, ah-ah-ah-ah What's my name, do you remember? I'm pretty sure you have my number So let's pretend we like each other like, ah-ah-ah-ah

This room is so suffocating Walking on ice, but nobody breaks it Stuck in this one-way conversation Guess I'll be here for awhile And you're blowing smoke in my face And telling me all about your paycheck Take a shot with a fake smile to chase it Guess I'll take another round

Everybody in this party feels so fake I really wish that I could say it to your face But I won't, so

this refers to ronas past life. she was basically heir to the number 1 richest most dystopian company and therefore had to do annyoing business networking. rona was a dumb party girl and her younger sister Katriane was actually like smart and fit to a run a company so they gave CEO-ship to katriane.

rona threatened to expose a company secret in exchange for ceo-ship and then her parents kicked her ass into the physical lowest level of the world. (its a vertical 3-tiered city, with the top tier being for rich fucks and bottom tier for like, 90% of the population in super poor land) and now she has to climb back for revenge.

i have a FAT playlist of songs but here a few more

PRAY FOR YOU by JARON and the LONG ROAD to LOVE (About revenge)

VILLAIN by KDA

BAD BLOOD by TAYLOR SWIFT

OH NO by MARINA

FAVE PIC(s)

(thats her doormat henchman boyfriend Sho)

(she got 3d modelled)

#ask meme #DAMN I DIDNT EXPECT AN OC ASK #thanks kate!

6 notes · View notes

iamknicole · 4 years

Text

Just the Two of Us (17)

HAHN AU

(I put all 3 together and hopefully it all makes sense)

When Melissa called Benny in a frantic and he heard all the commotion in the background, he jumped up and woke his brothers up. He sped all the way from Savannah to Maxine. When they got to the house, they saw Melissa trying to pull Marcie away from the big confrontation and the others around them arguing. They jumped out of Benny's truck running over to them.

"Aye, my man, you might wanna back the fuck up," Benny barked pushing Brad away from Melissa.

"She needs to butt out of this, I need to talk to Marcie!"

"I said," Benny snapped pushing him to the ground, "Back the fuck up."

The yelling and arguing was giving Zion a headache and he was already pissed that he had to get out of his bed.

"Everybody just shut the fuck up! That yelling ain't doin shit! Shut up and talk like some fuckin adults! Got damn!"

They all got quiet and stared at Zion, who was glaring and huffing. The fact that these people were arguing in the middle of the night was irritating all three brothers. They went to stand in front of Marcie and Melissa.

"Aight now since yall act like yall got some got damn sense," Cam fussed, "What the hell is going on?"

Natalie stepped forward. "Who are yall and why are yall here? We got this, we don't need help."

"Look, lady, you clearly don't have it or all hell wouldn't be breaking loose," Cam said staring directly at her. "So I'll ask again, what the hell is going on?"

"That bitch has been sleeping with my husband for months!" Marcie yelled trying to get past Cameron.

Benny turned to the women and spoke softly, "Take Marcie in the house and help her pack a bag. Get yall shit and come back out. Aight?"

Melissa pulled her friend to the house, trying to get her to stop cursing. "Why the hell are yall here? I dont know who the hell you think you are. That bitch aint goin nowhere with you three."

Cameron didn't think about it, he just punched Randall in his temple knocking him out then looked at the other people. "Anybody else wanna try and stop me?"

None of them said anything just slowly backed away.

"That's what the fuck I thought."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once she was sure Marcie was asleep, Melissa snuck out of Lainey's room where they were sleeping and went to Benny's room. She closed and locked his bedroom door behind her before creeping over to his bed. Crawling into the bed, Melissa got under the cover and cuddled up under him.

Being a light sleeper, Benny woke up a son as he felt her touch him. "What you doing in here?" He asked sleepily.

"Couldn't sleep. Figured your bed would be better."

"Is that right?"

Melissa rubbed her hand down his bare chest, "Yes. Can I stay?"

Benny knew he should've said no but he was tired and he honestly didn't want her to leave. He pulled her closer to him with one arm and got comfortable trying to ignore her hand and go back to sleep. Her hand continued to explore his chest after he'd closed his eyes, when he didn't stop her she moved her hand lower to his briefs.

"That's not something you wanna do," he warned her with his eyes closed. "Don't do that."

Taking a chance, Melissa pushed her hands into his briefs grabbing his dick. Benny opened his eyes looking over at her then at the ceiling praying internally for forgiveness. He removed her hand then flipped them over so he was on top.

"You asked for this just so we're clear," he mumbled.

Melissa smiled up at him feeling vindicated. "I know I did."

"You better know how to be quiet too."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun shined beamed down on Charles and Lainey. Charles watched her sleep for almost thirty minutes, he took a few pictures as well setting one of them as his background. He kissed her shoulder a few times before getting out of bed. He pulled his pajama pants on and left the bedroom heading downstairs. On his way to the kitchen he heard laughing and talking coming from the den.

A less than pleasant grunt escaped him seeing his cousin talking with two of his staff members, Oliver and Ramsey.

"Well, well, nice of you to finally join us."

"Its 8am and you're in my home. What do you want?" Charles asked with a frown on his face.

"Is that any way to talk to your favorite cousin?"

Charles glanced at his staff, "Leave us. Come back in four hours not a minute sooner or later."

Both Ramsey and Oliver nodded before bowing out of the room talking quietly amongst themselves.

"What do you want, Nas? I won't ask again."

"I see you found yourself a bedmate. She's a beauty but looks way too innocent for you."

Charles chuckled softly, staring up at the cieling before looking back at his cousin. "You know I'm not something to play with so answer my question or leave."

Nas walked around the den, touching a few of the things Charles had on the shelves.

"You've made quite a few enemies."

"I could say the same for you."

"Charles, do you remember what happened the last time you made an enemy?"

Charles nodded. "I do. And does it look like I give a damn about making another. Say what you need to say then leave."

Nas approached him once more, looking his cousin in the eyes. "Cryer ... that name ring a bell?"

"It might. Why?"

"You're not very well liked by him. Apparently you pose some type of threat to him becoming governor. He heard whispers of you backing his running mate instead."

Charles folded his arms across his bare chest, "Is that right?"

"It might. He's reached out to a few people."

"Which would be who?" Nas stood quietly for a moment making Charles roll his eyes. "Who besides you, Nas? You're ruthless but you're not stupid."

"You might be right," he chuckled. "He reached out to the Malones, this Williams guy and the Parkers."

Charles sucked his teeth. "Mama Rose loves me, she'd kill her own for me. Williams? I've heard of him but I doubt he'd even entertain Jim. The Parkers? They're low level, they couldn't get close to me without my detail."

"That's true but they're looking to come up."

When Lainey realized Charles wasn't in bed, she got up brushed her teeth and went downstairs in search of him. She heard him talking and started to pull at the bottom of her night dress before she rounded the corner.

"Good morning," she said softly.

Charles turned quickly to greet her. He went to her hugging her tight and kissed her forehead. Nas eyed the two of them. Now that he's seen her actual face, he recognized her.

"Morning, beautiful. This is my cousin, Ignacio. Ignacio, this is Lainey." Charles introduced puttong a protective arm around her.

"Nice to meet you, Ignacio," she said giving him a small wave.

Nas took her hand and kissed the back. "Call me Nas, everyone else does, sweetheart."

Charles grabbed her hand away from his cousin and turned to her smiling. "Why don't you go wait on me in the kitchen? And don't start cooking, just wait on me."

Nodding, Lainey said bye to Nas then left the room. Once Charles was sure she was out of earshot, he continued his discussion with his cousin.

"I saw the face. What was that?"

"That's Alaina Parker," he pointed out.

Charles thought for a moment then shook his head. "No, must be a coincidence. I've met her brothers and been around her parents. That's not them."

Nas started at his cousin in disbelief. "You didn't have them check her? You must really like her."

"No, I didn't look her up. There was no need. You saw exactly what I saw, she's innocent. She doesn't even have a car."

Nas moved closer to his cousin. "We may not like each other so that much but be careful. I did my own research on the Parkers and the Williams guy. She is from the Parker family but when she was about six she started to spend a lot of time with that Williams guy and his family. Her and one of her brothers."

"What are you saying?"

"Williams and his wife adopted her and her brother when they were younger. Their family has been trying to get Williams back for taking their kids. This gives them even more reason to do this. 2 birds, one bullet."

Charles' jaw flexed as the wheels in his head started to turn. "You let me know if you hear anything else."

"Of course."

"But don't bring your ass over here unannounced again."

"Only if you promise to look into this so you're not blindsided."

Charles nodded slapping hands with his cousin.

#hahn au #have and have nots au

4 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2 on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

1 note · View note

neuropathicgypsy · 5 years

Text

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alex Laughlin (@alexlaughlin40) on Feb 3, 2019 at 5:13pm PST

instagram

I was complaining about his pictures.. I didn't like them... Not that he's not beautiful.. I just didnt like h pictures...

People say alot about "me not being there"

But his pictures... He's not there..

I've told him before...

This I watched a thousand times when he first posted it... I didn't know why or why i heard him say id taught him that on date night on accident or that it had hit me in the head..

It felt like only two of us had been there... But with the sound it made it feel like a bunch... Which made me think may Be it was a busy night or maybe we went with a group

By the time he had posted it, i had known he was in my life... But only for a short time...

So I didn't know what he meant. I thought I should message and ask him...

But I didn't. I wanted to tell myself to try.

But i didn't. I just wanted to keep watching.

At first, my reaction was the same as tonight, what a dork. Like REALLY. What a complete dork. No one think he's any thing but annoying and total dork 2 year old too hyper annoying child.

Then i watch it again. And again. And again.

And i see him. When he walks off camera. That's where he is.

It would have made sense to write him since he only appeared off camera.

But i had only seen him once.

What if he was damaged like me? I already knew i was too damaged for myself...

And so I would mess him up.... Because I always do.. I can't hold a relationship. Like never.

I get too impatient. Too angry. Too Me.

I decided to just be glad i saw him. Maybe it didn't make any difference to him and probably I'd forget in all reality. So then in the end it wouldn't make a difference if I saw him...

Now would it?

And so if I wrote him and I was too damaged then i would ruin it all. I always did. Always too much pressure on someone. Me or them.

I wasn't ready.

And I tell you. It's true. The one day I decided to try. He blocked me.

He really did. I just use another account cause fuck that shit, you're not gonna stand in my way Alex Laughlin with that giant phone in your pocket. Unblock me when you're ready. I'll just stalk you not so silently on social media.

Now we'll see about that date night we had...

Michael Jackson asked us to check on the people we sent home. He said he wanted to join the CIA and they checked and watched but he wanted to see if it were all true. Since we knew who we sent home, we should go. So we all four went.

Saint Luches and Jesse Tony went dressed like homeless beggars to see if they'd catch up with a kidnapper or protector.

And we went on a date night to a local putt-putt mini golf.

Alex was freaking out because it was an hour and a half and we hadn't seen them walk by yet. So he had us in the corner nearest where they were supposed to walk up at. He sat on a bench "not even a page" he checked his beeper.

We both knew they were in danger and they were gonna get jacked up. We knew. The plan was they were to get kidnapped. Find the kidnappers hide outs and make sure our girl's were at home, had beem delivered by the CIA. Alex didn't want to be kidnapped. He couldn't handle that. So he went with me. We never went out on date night.

"Give me your ball. You're not ruining date night"

"What? Excuse me? Our friends could be dead and you're worried about you, yourself?"

"Neither one are dead. I would know" i stacked two balls and he threw his hands up in the air. God he could be so annoying in public. I never knew. He is sitting there looking so sexy and doesn't even know. Maybe i should tell him! Strike One. Right. Then I'll get in trouble. Besides didn't I already show him with a blow job in the car? But no all he had to do was worry. That was all. Did he compliant my dress? Strike Two. Yes he did. Of course he did. He Always did. But could he tell the difference between one dress and another?

"Can you tell three difference between me and a suit? The different ones I wear?"

I looked up at him. Yeah. Of course I could. This one was blue with jeans in case he had to run. Tomorrow was black which I preferred with black jeans, again. I looked down at the ground but i was still watching him and the street from the corner of my eye. No one was coming. Not good.

He threw his hands up "not again! Not--!" He stood and pulled at his leg "these ones are blue!"

"I know that honey! I just meant--"

"Why are you whiney?"

"Just stuff."

I felt him lean backwards on me, back to back, slide down and end face up between my legs.

"Get on. Hurry before someone sees" I looked down between my legs at him. His bright blue jeans were undone

"But you're not out yet and you don't like me being on top!"

"Look again"

"Oh you're out already?! But some one could see!"

"You better hide it" i looked down the street. "They're not coming you're right they've been kidnapped. Saint Luches was already. Jesse is still waiting. Mark told me and he told me I better take care of you. Come on! Its getting cold! You're gonna freeze my thing off of me!"

"But Mark shouldn't I lay down?"

"Lets do the proper thing and lay your coat down under her. These guys in this van behind her have been watching her and you." Said Mark

"Lead the way babe! This New Orleans thing aint bad at all when you're with someone who knows how to have fun!"

"I can't ... I can't get it up ... I can't do it when some kidnappers are sitting here watching me! Now they know my face!!"

"Well they can get to know my pussy." He was looking up and i could hear a car "what? Its Jesse isn't it? What was he pointing down at?"

"Time? What? Idk!!"

"He said meet me here. He knows what to do this time and he is gonna attack the kidnappers and take the van. Quick baby get up. Someone is coming. Baby! Look at me"

"Im watching Jesse"

"I can't see. Babe. I feel the ground vibrations. You gotta get up. Babe. Honey please. Babe he's coming to you" he had no idea a kidnapper from the van was coming and the on side he had me pinned down in. I could see his shadow. I didn't know if he was using chloroform and how fast he was. He thought i was talking about Jesse in the van. No. I was talking about the people at our feet!! Not our heads.

"Why don't you trust me i can see just fine!" He looked down at me and kissed my lips and saw the shadow i saw. He looked up. There was 7 kidnappers surrounding us. He still hadn't entered me and had his Dick in his hand. But he was over me so they couldn't see. He looked me in the eyes. Slide your knee up. So I did. Carefully and zip. Then he was up in a milisecond, climbing off me, grabbing the club and swinging. What do i do? "Tuck and Roll!!"

I did away from them, the same direction he had went "Go!! Don't run!!"

He meant hide. He was fighting for the club it seemed.. One was watching and 2 were down and 2 were fighting him and one was nearby to jump in.

"You can't catch me!!!!" I ran toward him. Zig

"NO! I GOT IT! JUST NOOOO!"

Zag! "Hey!! You wanna piece of me?!?! I got a pretty pussy!!" I smiled and pulled at the hem of my skirt and twisted my hips back and forth.

"Noooo!!!"

The guy fighting him for the club.. He was sickest. I saw it in his eyes. He didn't know what a human was anymore. It was so long since he had been one. Surrounded by evil so long that's all he knew and has become.

Dam if he hadn't distracted me just enough... First i felt a light touch on my ankle, "me" "no, that's enough she can only have me dammit" my arm was grabbed roughly. I felt i was in a horror film and i was the one to die. The man sized thing had a death grip on me and blacked out teeth and a look on his eyes that passed psycho. I was scared. I checked Laughlin. He was just watching keeping cool twirling the golf club like a baton. I could hear Luches saying I said help me and Laughlin saying I said run.

"Let GO!" I yanked my arm. I spun around, bent my knees. There was 4. Shit, all eyes on me! Its time! Go! I ran toward the one i expected to grab me But didn't. Past him fast, jog past Laughlin in heels. I know he liked it. I was in heels. Extra special sauce. Slow jog so he could enjoy. Larger outer rim and super fast towards the kick. I slammed myself into the chain link fence. Ducked down a bit and tight squeeze -- heels to the side. Stand in the middle. I completed a full circle. Dodged behind the storage shed. I only had 6 inches. My ass bent the fence so i could sit a bit, taking pressure off my knees because I put my feet in toe facing toe. I was too desperate to think that step. Man I was scared

"Stay in the middle. He will come and get you. Man look at my baby I'm so proud" I heard my real mom. The one that gave birth to me.

"Mom! I'm scared! There's too many! Is he gonna be alright?"

"Mark will help he will be fine."

"Okay I'll just wait then" I looked down at my nails and picked at the cuticles.

"Don't look up"

I did anyway. It was grotesque. I flinched.

"Don't you want me?" He asked leaning his head in as far as he could between the fence and shed.

"Don't look up"

I did anyway. At least he looked somewhat human. He was probably the Boss. He was the one i expected to grab me. Instead he just stands around while everyone else does the work.

"They're too high to know what they're doing. They'll be alright"

"Mom my heart!"

"Every thing is alright you just need to caaalllm through it" I felt relief

I just need to look at the normal one. That will be okay..

"Are you kidnapped?"

I heard the chain link behind me I looked and he was trying to move in behind the shed. I whimpered.

"Yeah. You are young, too, I expect. I think i know your boyfriend. He work in New York City?"

I gasped "you are kidnapped! What are you doing?!!"

"They made me do it. Said if i didn't they would kill my whole family. So i pretend to be the lookout hoping someone will catch me, them, they pay me good too. Your other friend is in the van"

Alex appeared

"No!!!" I gasped and put my hand in my face as he knocked out the innocent kid "just go get the other--"

"What am I doing?"

"Kill that thing over there"

"What baby? Let's get you out of there" he leaned over to assist

"Oh my God! Watch out!" I saw the shadow loom near him

"Huh? I already hit this one! Just go the other way babe! It'll be alright"

"Oh my God. I hope so!"

"It will just do what you need to" i heard my mom's voice. "He's over here"

"I know" I was so scared to look around the corner and see the eyes of herion on the face of a psycho but I had to, I know Alex was just holding him off. Pretending to fight. I could tell.

"Now run!" My mom said

"Okay!" I was whining "to the van! I know! Right in front of me!" I felt confident. I got past the fence into the lot "oh no! There's two!"

"Just get in! That is what i was trying to tell you!" Mom said

"Okay... I... I... Okay come on door open for me!" It did it smelled like oily car parts "saint Lcuha?"

"No"

Okay get in. What? Did he say no? I could smell his cologne. I was in such a panic. My heart was failing me so bad

"Why are you putting your seat belt on for? He wants thou to drive and Don't duck"

Who? Saint Luches? I looked up and saw Alex.

"I'm hoping that other one is empty. I took the keys. Idk why. Now let's find Jesse"

It took 3 weeks to clean up New Orleans. The CIA there went bad. They said they would let people return home but if any one was on the street they were free game. The mini golf was abandoned. Gate ripped off. Cars in the parking lot but no one was there. We got the club and balls our self.

I had to go to the emergency room 4 times because of chronic heart failure.

One time All i could do was bend over and put pressure on my heart but it was too bad. Alex held my hand as he drove. He drove to the hospital, covered in kidnapper blood. Saint Luches had to carry me in. I was already gone.

They said it was heart attacks. Nurses said it was miracles. 3 heart attacks within 10 days. Massive heart failure. Dead for 9 hours one time. About t pronounce me dead but had to wait on a lawyer from NYC. A miracle they said. But I felt like shit.

Only 6 of us against 294 kidnappers, 2/3 were CIA/FBI

No one went to school or work. Only fully loaded adult vans went to stores and not many shelves had food.

The Evil was great in that town. Just East of New Orleans.

Only 294 took down thousands.

Only 6 if us it took to save them all.

We did the same thing every time. 2 homeless/hungry street walkers, sometimes prostituting.

Or 3 if I couldn't go because I was too sick, around my kryptonite heroin and kidnappers.

2 Michael Jackson and T at movie theaters, gas stations, wherever normal went. Sometimes I went with them. Sat in the back seat. Lincoln Continental. Tinted windows. Back seat window slant for privacy. They would lock the doors. I would unlock T's he would use the key or she would open. Sometimes I did both. That's when we knew I was feeling better. I had to unlock 2 doors all day at least 4 days without missing a stop without a reason. Or I had to stay in the car. I got paid. Really sick days I laid down and slept. She would go in through his side door or stay in and sit with me.

9 times I unlocked the door for a kidnapper. I was usually reading a novella. Id see a shadow, think it was her or sometimes Michael. Just unlock it auto matic ally.

The first time I ran screaming from the car when a zombie got in. And collapsed 20 feet away. I felt dumb. I tried to keep my eyes open. To see whose feet i could hear but i was dead.

T telling Michael "2 days after her 3rd massive heart attack and what's she out doing? Exercising. What the doctor say to do? Not that! You not dead yet? We're taking you to the hospital anyway. This will be no fun. Im not taking the fall for that. What was she doing anyway? Unlocking the door for that that thing. I don't blame her I would taken off running screaming too if that thing came near me. What she call them? zombie? Dam things are scary looking. And she opened the door for the scariest. Bet he could smell her sweet pussy like that other one did that scared her so bad. Said he reminded her of her dad that day when she called the police on him but worse. She said she only told me that cause she said I'm a girl and pretty and her mom was giving her a pretty hard time About it and she wondered she should be scared or not, it was pretty dam bad Michael. She had this look in her eyes that i never seen before. She's asleep now. Wuss. Wuss. But it was bad Michael im telling you. That look in her eyes. Shes never had it, it was terror. Complete terror. Wuss. Wake up wuss. She told me to call her that. Might make her angry i don't care about her feelings. Make her wanna fight me. Im her cousin. I could do that. Wuss. Wuss. She's too weak. She can't. She wants to though. She's awake, i told your secret you wanna fight me? She said no. Don't tell them other two boys tho. I already told Jess. She said i could because he's independent like her but the other two seem to rely on her and she don't want them to know. She said Jesse would know what to do and protect them for her. But if they knew how scared she was They would go berserk. But she said they would start fighting how to take care of her. She said it was good you were here tho. You could take leadership over her and they would let you. They want her safe and out of the way the most part thats what she said. Wuss. Get back in your body. I ain't putting up with that shit, she said at the hospital. Theres something happening up a head. She can't see laying down. Van! Kidnappers! She said that is the one the boys are in. She said to follow. Who is in? Oh Jesse and Alex. Saint Luches always goes alone. But Alex won't. Oh he will now? She said he knew something was wrong so he jumped in too. They're trying to figure out what. Or what to do, what is. Oh they don't know what is wrong with her. Get back in Yoir body and sit up. She said no. She's too weak just tell the boys to shove her against the window. You know they won't. They will have a dam heart attack. Sit up! You see this. She's waving her arm at and it goes up 6 inches then thump. She can't do shit. Wuss. She's just a wuss. I'm just unlocking the door for them So they can get in faster. She had a heart attack. She said collapsed she's trying but she has no rhythm. Just rub her hands and legs and feet that's what the doctor said to do. No she's been shaking her head although slightly and nodding. Nodding is clearer but she's only moving near millimeters. Aren't ya? Look! She smiled! She's lethargic. No don't try to move! Just lay there let them help your blood flow to your heart and brain"

Jesse had got in at my head. Alex at my feet. They just slid under my body. When we got Saint Luches, Jesse slid to the middle and bent me up in his lap then laid me down gently into Saint Luches lap.

Of all the people in the car, Saint Luches put his seat belt on.

Boy been thrown in the back of vans with no seats much less belts for weeks!!. Dam boy. I laughed and it killed me..at least I died laughing, i thought. Instead of of terror.

I had to stay over night. Total 9 days in the hospital. For 3 massive coronary and medium to severe heart attack, that wasnt too bad.

Im glad they diagnosed me. My mother said it was a panic attack. I told her I was sure glad she wasn't a nurse! She laughed.

She didn't die laughing, though, she was already dead.

She was right though... She wanted to become a nurse because of my heart condition. It's actually backwards when I was born. Its turned 3/4 of the way backwards now...

Apparently there's extra long tubes so it could turn all the way.

Love is the only cure. My work here isn't done.

Balls to the walls, kids.

So after that... Well the night i got out of the hospital.. My blood pressure dropped from stress, from remembering the last time i had been in the car, so T had to climb over the seat and help the blood flow to my limbs

So after that Alex decided I couldn't ride alone.

So then when i saw a shadow go to the window 2 days after my 4th trip to the hospital after 4 insane heart attacks, and everyone left me in the car alone because there was 7 vans I just unlocked the door

I wasn't really reading. I was trying but really i wss just looking at the book, listening. So when the kidnapper got in, I leaned all the way back in the seat so my head was far as possible. It exposed my chest so if he wanted to perv on my boobs there was nothing I can do. But it was better than being attacked in my spine or head. So i tried to hold the hardcover book to protect me.

I opened my car door to signal a problem.

"Don't move. Stay in the car"

I shut the door. "What is this? I think the seat belt went out" open the door. Slam. "No shit. I really did it this time" open door Slam. "Now the buckle.." Open door Slam. I saw Alex perk on the 3rd. "Now just one more..." Open door. Slam. I heard him. "I'm coming Baby" "got it. Finally" "uhhh sir? I didn't see you in here before. Did you get in the wrong car? Because I don't know yo--"

I realized if he didn't turn around then may be it was better. If I didn't see his face, I had a feeling I wanted to But I didn't know if it was curiosity or instinct. He had a hood up so when he turned his head it wasn't enough.

"Hey... Uhm.. Did you want to get something to eat? One of my friends has lots of money. Did you see her? You're in her seat. You might want to scoot over towards the middle" Alex had came and he had cracked his door open to hear. I knew we needed to find out our situation. And Alex was there. I wouldn't get So scared. If I saw a shadow behind I would just scream and point. This guy wasn't turning around for nothing. He wouldn't see me point out his friends. Of course the shadows were going the wrong direction. But if i could see i could scream, that would make my point clear. I opened up my book to steady my heart. It wzs begining to race and I had to steady it in the beginning. Just think about Alex getting in the car being safe i said to myself.

"Yeah buddy. You may just want to scoot over. Hey did you want to drive or anything? You can the car is already on." Alex climbed in the car. Shut and locked the door and began to mess with his seatbelt

"Where is the girl with the money?"

"Oh they're not coming" Alex looked at me like why did you say that for?

Idk sounded good to me. They were criminals. All criminals wanted money. I was pretty sure he wasn't going anywhere.

"But i took the money. See? I got a hunny" he pulled out a dollar bill from my purse in the floor.

"This is a one!! I need to make me some money!!" He slid over to the driver side

He doesn't even sound human i worried. Alex said he didn't look like he had any eyes.

He put the car in drive

"Alex! No!"

Alex dust busted him anyway, jumped over the seat and put it in park

"He left his clothes?!"

"Yeah. Sit up here with me"

"No I don't want too. Too much strength. Action. Movement. I can't even read. Did you know? Too much strength"

"I had a feeling. But you're smart enough to slam the door to alert me. Put your seat belt on. There you go that's nice. Thank you bunny"

He was driving around the vans looking for our friends. He turned the corner and so many shadows. He parked. They seemed to get bigger.

"Oh no! Alex! Alex!" Then I just literally screamed and covered my head, he reached back and locked my door. Moving slow and still.

"They're just buildings now. You can look"

"Oh no Alex. One just got in the car! He's sitting behind you! Alex! No! Please don't touch me! Alex! Shoot it!"

He tried to climb up the back window. Like the one the day before had when I was just with Michael and T. He laid there mimicking me. And dangling his arm off the back of the back dash. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't know if it was because i had been dead and it was Mark and my brain wasn't working proper cause the blood so i couldn't recognize. T turned around to check on me a lot and Mike checked the review mirror a lot. I knew he was driving but surely he could see if something was dangerous... But his eyes didn't acknowledge. Neither did hers.

"Your mom said i could!" He sounded hurt. In 2020 that attitude pisses me off and i kill things dead immediately, "we were in the morgue! And we were listening!! They said. They said you were scared! And we knew we couldn't kill the Queen! So i didnt turn around! And i was shot! Shot twice!"

Alex looked at me questioningly. "I don't know? If my mom said it's for a reason. I saw him yesterday and didn't tell no one"

"Thats not what i meant and i think i know that. You do, too. You're hiding something from me. Why are you sacred? Why did you let him in the car?" He said as he climbed over the seat. The last question was angry.

"Idk. You're beautiful do you know that? I love you"

"You make me want to fuck you! But I need to know what you're hiding from me, i know you do it sometimes and you haven't said one word about not working and sitting in a car being a door unlocker and you can kill, too"

"I know i can. Its just temporary until i feel better. Your eyes are so beautiful. Lets cuddle"

"Don't make me do this to you. I can't cuddle and you're sick and i know the truth"

"Oh that's okay just put your arm on the back of rhe seat and ill snuggle with you"

"No. I'm being patient with you. Don't look like i just slapped you."

"You did. Not my face but my heart"

"Fine. Lean against me"

"Take your shirt off"

"No I'm not doing that right now, honey"

"Your pants?"

"I would like to say yes but in your condition that's exerting too much pressure on your tonsils"

"What's wrong with T? She hasn't moved since you brought me over here"

"We don't know. Michael is trying to find the answer"

"You just need to shoot her. Here" i reached for the gun on his thigh near his knee

"No!!!!" He snatched it away.

"She won't die! She's not evil"

No way he was like no way

"Babe trust. Look see me. See her? She needs help. She's not like me. She can't move. Whatever hurt her is not her heart. She would have fallen over."

"Let me ask Mike"

"No let me just shoot her"

"You let one alien in the car and you want to kill our friend?!"

"I've let two."

"Oh well! And!" He was losing it.

"She's my cousin!. Trust. I know her. Something that has her is evil. Remember the clothes in the front seat? You shoved them out the door. So her. It must be alien. It must also be evil alien to do that to her. What if there's like a truck to come run her over so they can take her body. Im going to go stand next to her so i can see"

"No baby I'll just ... Ill just try it. But you owe me the truth why you're scared of aliens."

"Did they kill Mike? They killed Mark"

"No he's in a vacant house using the phone takinf9to the alien agency. Are you ready?"

"Yes. Please hurry. Just fire the dam thing already! Ill do it myself!! Ow that's hot"

"I told you I would do it and I did it. Now you owe me the truth"

"i can't im busy"

"You're not doing anything!"

"Im waiting for... She's awake!! Run!! Please hurry!! Hurry!! Let her in!!"

"What's going on!!!!!"

She ran and jumped in. Moments later a big blue worker uhaul type truck plowed into the car.

"The glass didn't shatter this is good. Now we have to kill them. Hurry! No don't get out! Through the window!"

"No one's driving. What if no one is driving? I didn't see anyone-- why is the truck doors opening!!?? No one was anywhere ne--"

I saw them climbing across the hood of the car. To get in. They could just get in. Especially through glass. I started screaming like a toddler. Then yelling "just shoot it!"

"What? Get down!".

Covering my own ears screaming like a toddler, my heart exploding, i sat in the floor board facing the seat. My back against T's seat. Screaming. "Just shoot them! They're every where!! Theres since many!! They're all gonna die!!" I scream like a toddler again.

T is saying over and over to stop screaming.

Alex is losing his mind and fluctuating between adoring and wanting to kill me.

"Just fucking stop it for Jesus sakes!!" He grabs my arm to pull my hand off my ear.

"Are they done? All dead i mean?" I Sat in the seat

"Jesus Christ my babe! Look you screamed so loud you woke the dead, here he comes"

I cover my ears and start screaming again.

"Jesus Christ who woke the kid?".

Alex gets in my face "That's not what i meant!! Okay?!?! Look!! Babe!! Please!! Just look!! Out the window!!"

I grab his hand and cover my eyes and turn to the window

"Jesus Christ. Do you see what she just did!?"

I lift his little finger. Drop it, Thwn his ring but I still can't see so I lift his middle finger and i can see Michael walking towards us

"Really baby?"

"Im not a baby. Im a babe."

"Well you scream like one!" T is excited to see her man "I'm over here!!!!!" She waves to him.

"No don't open the door. Just don't, you don't want her to scream do you?"

"Well how is he supposed to get in?"

"He can get in. He's family. When i scream it feels good"

"Michael is looking at the clothes. She shot me! I'm over here. Her mom told me she would. She said I'm not evil. I'm good and it won't hurt me But protect me."

"Yeah and my mom told me to scream. She said i used to do it when I was little"

"Not to wake the dead"

"Not like we lived next to the cemetery. Besides maybe they think my singing is beautiful and they want to listen more so they come closer and my singing brings them to life because im magical."

T forgot she could move and Michael was sure she was dead. Couldn't figure out how there was skid marks where she was if they had wanted to use her body. Didn't realize she had already moved. Finally she opened her car door and stood. Me yelling did nothing. His jaw dropped. His eyes widened. His head swiveled. He dropped all these papers.a briefcase and ran to the car "oh my honey! I thought you were dead! I was sure of it! I didn't want to go home. Just wait where you died until you returned." He said into her hair all muffled.

"I told you. Love" i say

"Goddamit Youre sexy" she said

"See? All about Love!"

"But how did you get to move? Get to life or whatever did happen?"

"They shot me"

His face went crazy rage "YOU SHOT MY DAM WIFE!?!"

"See?!? I told you! Love!"

"Im gonna fucking kill you!!" He literally threw ber into the door and tried to get to Alex and strangle him

"Or may be not!"

Long story short. She spanked him. He got woke. I went to get the papers he dropped and he abandoned me in the parking lot.

"Yeah what the fuck!" I gathered them up "yeah you're a real stupid ass. Im glad it got hit. I felt pretty bad for you for a minute even though you tried to kill Alex. Now i don't know how i feel. Yeah!! Mad!!!! Leave the abandoned orpahan alone in the parking lot with alien ghosts with a heart condition! 3 massive heart attacks and a really fucking bad one!!! I can have a stroke any minu-- oh my God. I need to calm down im going to die. Im gonna die. Mom i don't know how to breathe I'm gonna choke to death. Mom! Help!! Somebody?!?!" I fell. It was all dramatic and beautiful.

Alex got out of the car that screeched down the street and picked me up "is this what heaven is like?"

"You wish. You've really got some explaining to do"

"This is so romantic! This is so sweet!!" Everything was pink and blue and not the colors they were supposed to be "is the street a river? Is this good?"

Alex walked around to the other side of the car after dropping me off.

"Oh my God!!! Sabrina!! Oh my God! No stop the car! Are you bleeding?! No! You're turning pink! Armageddon wants you back. No don't go we need you to much. Sit baxk. We will pretend we are ina limo"

"STOP THE CAR. YOU'RE DRIVING IT INTO A LAKE! WERE ALL GONNA DIE!! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR PAPERS!! wow the world is changing before my very eyes. GET THE PAPERS! YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE PROPHECY! Get the dang pap--"

"Hes not even in the car"

"Then who wss driving? He was in the seat. The world keeps changing too many colors, the people. I need to eat by the way"

"Sabrina what happened to you by the way? Why did you fall? You were all covered in blood out your nose, eyes. Ears, wrists. Then you turned pink like you lived on Armageddon. And the colors you explain are Armageddon but nothing we saw changed but not on you. Not in the air. Nothing."

"They want me back. They want me back. We will have a meeting tonight. I stayed here?"

"Yes"

"Then all will be fine. Lift up your shirt. No him."

"Why do you Keep telling me to do that?"

"To keep rhythm with your heart. My mom told me that's how she kept me alive. That and with screaming. My dad couldn't do it. That's why they always took me to the bar. That's what she said. She said you could do it for me since Mark isn't here. And just about any Earthling or human as long as it's not Jupiter"

I fell asleep. I woke at the hotel restaurant parking lot

"I'm back!!! I went to Armageddon and they said they're a bunch of douche bag bastards and want to take over the Earth and asked what I thought. I said no. They said they believed it was temporary!!"

Michael turned around. He was an alien. Alex was. Everyone was. I laid back in the seat and started screaming and kicking while they tried to eatmy soul.

1 note · View note