#IDK WHAT TO SAY I JUST FEEL SO MUCH | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lifeonmvrs · 2 years ago

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happy birthday to the best character ever,, baz pitch

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dykedvonte · 27 days ago

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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors #not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy #in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting #their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as #she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and #placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or #cause him more pain like at least make it in character #but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort #and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole #we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl #that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun #the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of #black n white thinking or actions #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency #for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way #she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal #idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue

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lazylittledragon · 4 months ago

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat · 4 months ago

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i've discovered a quite large category of people who never got into The Good Place and the only way they could articulate their disinterest was, "there's no stakes cause they're already dead." i'm obsessed with the idea the only reason they could enjoy seinfeld is they imagined kramer could beef it any fucking second

#the good place #even the implications of what happens in episode one of this show have the biggest stakes of any sitcom ever but some people are like #idk my usual model for how much to care about people who have reached this point is not at all so you may as well be tortured for eternity?#i think a ton of people generally when they don't vibe with something and feel the need for an excuse just say literally the opposite thing

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turtleblogatlast · 7 months ago

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I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him.#it’s arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself #note that when he’s offered a job as a mascot he’s fine being unknown #when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says ‘they love YOU pops’#idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is #and how much his persona is more an actor #Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out-#every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leo’s route in life is directly tied to their splinter so #since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it #and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are #I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja #his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times #not that that’s NOT him - like I said it’s still undoubtedly a part of Leo #but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters #or Leo being the only one to almost get Gus’s dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas)#like- he’s clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily #it’s like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do #like Raph? Raph’s the biggest Hero of the bunch of them let’s be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero #All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius.#and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential #likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja #but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse #he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it #Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like #you’d think he’s focused solely on the performance flair - no it’s ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION

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toytulini · 1 year ago

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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

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violetscanfly · 3 months ago

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Once again I offer you art that I didn't post when it was made✌🏻 One thing I have learned is to never throw away your art because even if you don't immediately like it you might some day

#and this isn't to say I don't cringe at some of my old art 😂 I think that's just an inescapable part of the experience #I think it's mostly perfectionism that stops me from liking some of my drawings #because fairly often I just randomly find a drawing that I actually really like but never posted cause I deemed it not good enough #and then later I'm like “so what if there are weird mistakes that stick out to me. If someone else had drawn this would I think this way”#and I see the parts that stopped me from posting a piece and am like why did it seem so important back then #I love looking through my old art and being like I'm so glad I drew this #especially if it's something I had forgotten about #idk what brought this art ramble on ig I'm just happy to find joy in creating when there's so much a i bs going on #also the paper this is drawn on literally has “why can't I draw anymore” on it so if you're feeling artblocky know that it will pass #violetscanfly #artists on tumblr #watercolour #wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fanart #mdzs #wei ying

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pineappical · 1 year ago

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would calling this something like "the sun to his earth" be a little bit too cliche? maybe...

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanart #tedependent #trent crimm #ted x trent #I JUST GAHH!! GAAAHH!!! I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM!!!!!#pn.art #YEAH IM NOT IMMUNE TO THE SUN/MOON WHATEVER THEHELL :/#since i probably wont be able to draw what i have in mind rn id just say it now. i have this thought about stars on the ceiling and how ted #and trent grew up with different fathers. how ted had a loving dad who he wished he told him more how much he meant to ted #and trent's father being more strict. wanting him to be something else. a stronger man. someone who played football. and how glow in the #dark stars is just a core part to many kids' childhoods and how ted probably had them and trent didnt #IDK.. IDK IM THINKING ABOUT IT... im making zero sense and this is a thought that goes nowhere but i just love the imagery of it all SNIFFS #something something ted and trent being two people who didnt want to be like their fathers but in very different ways but also so similar #enough that theyll definitely buy their own kids glow in the dark stars if they asked #IM LOSING MY MIND RN. HELLO. ANYWAYS....#EDIT: WHY DOES TUMBLR LOVE REMOVING TH E FINAL LETTER IN SOME OF THESE TAGS

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royalarchivist · 2 months ago

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Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?

Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.

Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?

Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.

Cucurucho: Ha ha ha

Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]

Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.

Cucurucho: Maybe.

Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!

Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]

Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!

[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]

#Jaiden Animations #Roier #Cucurucho #QSMP #Jaiden #Animations Family #There is. So much I could say about these three #and so much I could say about their relationship / interactions with Cucurucho and Osito Bimbo #Cards on the table... I really would have loved it if Cucurucho / Osito genuinely cared about Jaiden #I mean I know they DID care about her to some extent that much is clear #But they / the Federation were also ABSOLUTELY using her. I'm not arguing that they weren't #But how could anyone not be charmed by Jaiden? The boba the tea parties the head pats–#The empathy and kindness and everything that made q!Jaiden who she was–#Cucurucho and Osito were tools of the Federation but I do want to believe they cared about Jaiden. Albeit in their own fricked up way #I dunno. I know this sounds like massive copium probably but I watched all of her and Roier's streams interacting with them #and I personally think that conflict and duality makes for a more interesting story #But that's just me and my own personal biases. I dunno how to properly put it into words but I am cradling them all close to my heart #I loved Cucurucho / Osito and I thought they were interesting and I'm SO SAD we'll never know what Jaiden did for them in the past #Anyways. For anyone who's read this far into my rant– you know how Cucurucho saved the Eggs and Jaiden said she died in Purgatory?#I like imagining that she survived the bomb and wound up finding the Eggs in the aftermath #and she helped them survive until Cucurucho found them #I imagine that Jaiden was the reason they were able to escape from the Island / The Watcher / ElQuackity #She stayed behind to slow down their pursuers. And Cucurucho rescuing all the Eggs fulfilled his agreement with Jaiden—#A promise to protect the Eggs #Like I said a lot of this is copium but that's what I like imagining #TLDR: Cucurucho / Osito did care about her in a weird way but that doesn't mean they weren't manipulating her #May 31 2023 #Idk man I got a lot of emotions about q!Jaiden #Roier too but I feel like I've done way more analysis posts about him and Cucurucho. Jaiden needs time in the spotlight #Anyways there's my monthly tag rant

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wybienova · 8 months ago

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dream visit (nostalgia) - a 2nd anniversary katfl comic

#wooo wooo yayyyy uayyy happy anniversary #happy birthday elfilin and elfilis my beloveds #kirby #elfilin #fecto elfilis #idk if i should tag this as forgo #katfl #LOTS of talking abt this piece in the tags below #i wanted to do some kinda thing and I got this idea for a comic #so i just kinda went in and did it messy #not really worrying too much about how it looked #and I like how it came out I think #even if elfilin looks kinda bad at some parts #kind of a sequel to my old dream visit post?#that one I gave elfilis/forgo the tunic script but I didn’t feel like doing it this time #this one i was kinda thinking about like. ok #identity and stuff and how it differs for them #i know forgo and elfilis are 2 separate entities #but i like drawing elfilis #so i think in this dream scenario where they can kinda be whatever #they’d show themself as elfilis #because that’s what they are trying to become again anyways #and really elfilin is only a small part of the whole #so forgo IS far more ‘elfilis’ than elfilin would be #similarly they just keep saying ‘i’ whereas elfilin sees that form and thinks ‘we’#forgo being kind of self centered: they don’t need elfilin to achieve their goals #that being destruction which elfilin would inhibit #except they do to actually become elfilis again #idk whatever I should stop talking #wybs art

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whamss · 8 months ago

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I see talk from time to time about Meat Rosemary reunions about how tragic it would be to see Rosebot reject Kanaya after she spent all that time chasing after her blah blah blah but man you know what would get me? The two of them reuniting and Kanaya seeing a Rose who's nigh unrecognizable to her. Seeing a Rose with Dirk's hands buried so deep inside her mind she's more like him than herself, in a body that isn't her own (made by his hands), and not knowing what to do with that? Seeing Rose continuously push Kanaya away would be tragic, yes, but what about imagining how Kanaya grapples with the reality that the woman she's trying to save is barely even herself anymore? Wondering if, when all is said and done, she would even get her back... Or if Dirk's influence is already so deeply ingrained inside of her that he would keep on living through her? What is it like to love a woman so deeply you're ready to kill her father to save her, while fully understanding the ways this might hurt her? To love a woman so deeply you'll cross galaxies to return to her side, knowing fully well that she might push you away in the end? Things I chew on

#talk tag #homestuck #homestuck beyond canon #rosemary #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #sorry ive been rereading meat and thinking about how at a certain point some of the lines rose says start to feel less like rose talking #and more like dirk talking Through Her #and what you could do with that #idk i think so much about how dirks influence could really stain rose's perception of herself #everyone else gets to escape dirks influence but shes forced to live with his weight on her constantly #makes you think #at this point im just getting thoughts out before i find out how the hsbc team is choosing to handle her #im not a big fan of mopey destined-for-loneliness kanaya and it shows though. i want her to tear the world apart at the seams #just to get her wife back #aughhh

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purecommemasolitude · 14 days ago

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Thinking about how if we accept Paul’s narrative of the night as truth (barring the holding hands of course) Bob fully thought Cherry was putting the moves on a 14-year-old

Are you sure he wasn’t a jealous man buddy 🤨

#I think there’s a few interpretations you could have of how much of what he says in JFT is true #especially since he’s established to be an unreliable narrator by the hand-holding lie #but like it occurred to me tonight. what if he wasn’t lying about Bob not being a jealous man? that means there was a different motive than #just her being with Ponyboy and him thinking some greaser’s trying to get with his girlfriend #what if it was like. okay now I’m venturing into the realm of headcanons. but his parents having an unhappy marriage and cheating a lot #to get back at each other when they fought #and when he was young he got the idea that if he could just go after all the people they cheat with they would be happy together #and now he’s older and has realized there’s no merit to that but it’s still ingrained in his mentality when he sees cherry #so when he sees cherry with Ponyboy he assumes it’s to get back at him and he ‘goes crazy’#this does still have him thinking Cherry’s trying to put the moves on a child so idk how I feel about this exactly but it could be refined #anyway I think it would be fun to explore variations of what he could’ve meant #og #the outsiders #the outsiders musical #paul holden #cherry valance #bob sheldon

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lunarharp · 8 months ago

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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

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juniperarts · 1 year ago

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I think you like pavitr.. Don't know tho, its just a theory after all.

Idk what has you thinking that.

Interesting theory tho 🤔

Curious to know why you think so

He's an ok character I guess

*looks at my icon for a split second* anyways-

Imma go draw (not Pavitr)

#why my brain do this #it just saw him that first time I watched it and went HIM #we coming up on three months now since the movie came out and I'm still fixated on atsv and this boy #Imma draw other stuff ... trust #but you dont choose your hyperfixation ... it chooses you #and momma I'm going to embrace it this time around #because I think ATSV is a decent piece of media to be a bit unhinged about 🤭#idk maybe cause it made feel something??#thats what my sister and I joke about when we'd say we'd seen it 7 times in the theater #it gave me a very much needed/wanted spark of inspo #drive and motivation #that Ive been lacking for almost two years now #so yeah #anon #asks

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tenderjock · 8 days ago

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the synonym of companion is:

#spuffy #spuffyedit #buffysummersedit #spike btvs #btvs #btvsedit #buffy the vampire slayer #it's terribly simple #you know you want to dance #this edit came about because of that post that is linked and how it is SO painfully buffy and spike it makes me physically ill but also #because i paused chosen during the hand holding bit (As One Does) and i got it right before their hands light on fire as buffy's fingers #are curling around spike's palm and it made me feel. some kind of way. the moment before the magic when its just them #the whole ''i love you'' ''no you dont'' thing has been analyzed to DEATH but ive always taken it as them knowing they love each other #they know that. theyve been knowing that. they knew that yesterday. thats not what its about #buffy is saying ''i am here with you now in your last moments on this earth and i will not leave you''#and spike is saying ''i know. but you dont have to. so get your pretty ass out of here before the ceiling falls in''#buffy is telling him that she respects him as a man and he's telling her to respect his last wish (that she get out safely)#(i think he's also saying ''you dont have to say it if it doesnt come naturally. i can feel it i dont need to hear it from your lips'')#anyway!! thats just my Too Sense #idk if i'm entirely happy with this but ive spent too much time on it to not post it so. here ya go

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autumnoakes · 25 days ago

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okay but going back to zagreus and melinoë for a second... i think when they meet they're going to have a LOT to work on with each other if they're going to get along. zagreus likes to push boundaries and he doesn't like leaving things unresolved if there's something he can do about it and melinoë is a LOT like hades in so many ways (temperment and sometimes her tone in particular). they're going to get on each others' nerves. they're going to drive each other up the wall. they're going to need time to get to know each other and understand each other and they might not get the chance to during hades 2 (what with mel's task seeming pretty nonstop. i know she's a goddess but girl don't you get tired???).

#hades 2 #hades 2 spoilers #there's a lot that zag can pick up about mel from around the crossroads tbf just by talking to other people #especially hecate odysseus and nemesis #and dora too. although dora would just give zagreus the information he wants for free. without even asking #there are some things i can see them getting along about and they might be really excited at first #but at the same time zag spent a lot of time and effort trying to fix his relationship with hades and hades' relationship with persephone #and the olympians. he pretty much made it so melinoë CAN exist. and he probably feels some sort of responsibility for her #as her big brother and just. that's the way he is about the people he loves too #i think that when he meets melinoë he's going to be. upset #moreso than hades was upset. not only because he didn't get to see her grow up #but also because this is worse than the worst case scenario #to him at least. he would want to protect her but mel is her own person. she's grown and she's learned how to rely on herself #(to the point of it being a detriment lmao)#and she would Not vibe with that at all.#and yeah mel has some of persephone in there as well (she has her kindness and drive to help others) but iirc that's more. recent?#idk hecate had something to say about that i just forgot what she said

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