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rimunagenius · 8 months ago

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Best Friends Don’t Kiss

❦ Pairing: Naomi Mcpherson x reader

❦ Word Count: 3.1k words

❦ Warnings: Fluff, a lot of kissin ;) , confessions

❦ a/n: so i’m pretty sure i can speak for everyone when i say that the julien and jo, lucy and katie, kisses, in one concert…broke the internet and the whole munagenius fandom. so obv had to incorporate that into this fic…that’s it. Just those earth shattering kisses and Naomi and Reader breaking the fucking internet.

This was lowk ass i’m ngl LMFAO

Having multiple features on Muna's album, Muna, and as their bestfriend since college, you make a decent amount of guest appearances on their tours. You don't have a music career yourself, and your not even on the featured title, opting to not out yourself out there under the guise of releasing your own music. You stuck to being the bands photographer and part time tour manager when you could, but continuing having your job as a tattoo artist.

But your favorite featured song to perform had to be 'Solid'. You and Naomi may have caused scandals during the performance of that song at any show you have attended. Maybe not scandals but on stage personas. It was speculated among Muna’s fans, and your own friends, that you two had been dating. Ever since college, you and Naomi were not beating the allegations.

Muna’s whole thing was similar to boygenius. Your favorite band besides Muna of course, of course duh, kissing eachother whenever the moment felt right. But the kissing wasn't how you and Naomi happened to attract attention to yourselves.

Recently, for the last 6 shows you accompanied Muna on, either Naomi was caught looking to you when they sang background for the chorus or you were caught being more provocative towards Naomi. That could have easily been misconstrued as you two being inlove and in a secret relationship. But if it wasn't Naomi creating an uproar, it had been you.

The fans have caught onto Naomi but you quickly counteracted by slowly sauntering over to them or Jo, mostly Naomi, and grabbing their face while singing the same lines in the chorus. All too much passion for two bestfriends. Atleast that’s what the fans thought.

Needless to say, your onstage personas were definitely two queers in love with one another. The fans ate that shit up.

Tonight, Muna was opening for boygenius. The concert was moving along perfectly. The energy was alive, and the crowd was jumping. You honestly loved watching your best friends have everything they have ever wanted out of their passion for music. Naomi especially.

You had met Naomi before they met Katie and Josette. Photography being the reason you went to school with them, music or Naomi, being the reason you changed your major halfway through your sophomore year of college. Never having the intention of pursuing it, but full intentions of helping your closest friends get to where they wanted.

Naomi was a special person in your life. Watching them grow and the ambition to pursue the dream they have wanted from a young age was something so surreal and exciting. Which brings you back to tonight. Watching them play alongside y’all’s lifelong friends.

Side stage, a few feet away from Naomi, they smiled at you, signaling your entrance, to sing one of the featured songs you are apart of. Solid.

Moving about the stage, dancing with Josette, big smiles on your faces while Katie took the first half of the song. Singing supporting vocals for Katie, you eventually found your similar path that led you to Naomi. She’s so solid. You sang as you moved your hips to the rythm.

Reaching Naomi, you looked to the crowd, seeing eyes on you, you grabbed Naomi’s face, My baby’s so solid, you sang. The crowd screaming.

As you sang the words into the mic, Naomi looked at you, singing the words right back to you. She’s so solid, My baby’s so solid. They sang. You smiled at them, your noses brushing close together, gauging the reaction from the crowd before kissing their cheek and moving to Katie.

You sang your half of the song, soon turning it into a duet with your bestfriend Katie. Josette occasionally jamming out with you two. The rest of the set was short, Muna ending it with Silk Chiffon. You occasionally in awe of Josette as she played guitar on her knees infront of you and Katie. Performing was so fun when you were with them.

You and the band eventually went back and side stage decompressing while the headliner band, your dearest friends, boygenius, set up for their show.

“You think Y/n and Naomi broke the internet yet?” Josette asked, wiggling her eyebrows at both of you.

“If that didn’t break the internet, this for sure will.” Katie said as she put her phone up, taking a picture of you and Naomi. You again, grabbed Naomi’s cheeks with one hand, softly pinching their cheeks, kissing the corner of their lips. A little too close for best friends.

“Oh, wow. Okay, Katie. Let’s not.” Naomi said as they waved one hand in the air to her, their other hand holding your waist, as you had been seated in their lap.

“I really thought you guys were hard launching whatever this was out there, not gonna lie.” Katie said, pointing towards you both, looking to Josette for agreement.

“No seriously. Thought Y/n was going to start fucking you, Naomi. Was about to have Frankie get you guys a room.” Jo laughed as she looked to Kelli.

“Haha, very funny Josette Maskin.” You laughed before turning to Naomi. “What exactly did she think we were hard launching?” You asked.

“I don’t know but that just means we have undeniable and palpable chemistry, baby. We got the whole world thinking we’re in love.” They laughed, kissed your cheek, and continued talking to Katie.

You weren’t going to lie and say that you weren’t inlove with your best friend. It was pretty fucking obvious to anyone in the room. You and Naomi just always shut it down. You didn’t know if it was because they didn’t reciprocate the feelings or if it was so they didn’t discover a truth neither one of you were ready to admit.

Either way, you’d continue to make the harmless jokes and suggestions, until one day they reciprocate it. Or better yet, admit they love you just like you love them.

Soon, a stagehand found you guys backstage, Julien apparently wanting all of you on the stage to perform with them. You had all been a close knit circle considering all of your age differences. You all just bonded over the same passion for music and doing what you love infront of thousands of people.

The set for ‘Salt in the Wound’ just started, Naomi on piano/keyboard, Josette playing background guitar with Julien, Katie, you, Pheobe, and Lucy all singing.

It got to the chorus and all of you were singing, the crowd matching the volume and energy. Suddenly something had been in the air. Everyone had been loving on eachother. Lucy the first one to make rounds with everyone.

You and Pheobe started hugging Julien and Josette. You letting go with a kiss to both their cheeks, Pheobe pushing them together. They shared a kiss on the lips, the crowd losing their minds. You and Pheobe looked at eachother, you grabbed her hips and pulled her in. Your hand now holding her head against your lips as you two kissed eachother passionately.

Pulling apart, Lucy and Katie were rolling on the ground full on making out. Eventually Lucy had pulled away, Katie scrambling from under Lucy to then snatch you into a kiss and a meaningful hug. Lucy had made her way from Naomi, over to you, kissing your cheek. You looked at her face, her red lipstick smudged, hair tousled.

She then winked at you, as you made eye contact with Naomi, your smile already taking over your lips. You were originally going in for a small kiss on the cheek, knowing how Naomi doesn’t really feel comfortable with the lip kissing since everyone is kissing everyone. Germs and stuff.

What you hadn’t known was that Naomi had dodged any pass that anyone had made on them. But as you were about to stand on your tippy toes, tilting your head to reach their cheek, they grabbed the bottom of your jaw, pulling your lips onto theirs.

The impact immediately set fire to your skin. Warm fuzzy feelings alive and around your stomach as you both kissed eachother. Your hands landing on their hips, their hands on either side of your face, holding you to their lips. The contact not breaking until either one of you run out of breath.

The crowd was losing their minds, your kiss projected on the big screen behind the band. There’s no way no one was missing this, and there was absolutely no way you guys were beating the couple allegations now.

You smiled as you both pulled away. The crowd losing their shit. They had suspected it for a while now, just seeing the passion and affection conveyed through the kiss live and well, was a change for them. A significant change for you.

Before you started to walk away, Naomi had grabbed your hips, yet again pulling you into another kiss. Your lips moving in sync. Your tongues meeting each others. Your hands on their cheeks. You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips as you pulled apart.

This concert had to be your favorite of this whole tour. Hands down. Once Muna and boygenius closed the concert, you all had met backstage.

You were all standing in a circle, talking and laughing about what you all had just done and making plans for later after everyone was done. The usual debrief, of course. “Okay, lets talk about Naomi and Y/n. What the actual fuck was that?” Pheobe asked, giggling.

“Yeah, that wasn’t very ‘we’re just friends’ of you.” Lucy looked at you. Her knowing glance towards everyone else and then to you two. The constant deferring you used to do whenever she brought up you and Naomi. Julien laughed as she hid her face in Lucy’s arm as she continued to belly laugh.

“Yeah, explain.” Katie looked quizzically at you both. Her eyes jumping to both of you every second. Josette standing with her arms crossed, waiting for an answer.

“Hey man, I thought we were all just kissing. So I kissed Y/n.” Naomi shrugged their shoulders. Their arm slinging around your shoulders.

“Yeah, totally.” You nodded your head in agreement. “Can’t friends kiss?” You smiled as you looked at your friends knowing they have all kissed eachother. Including the ones who have significant others. You guys do it all the time on stage. Nothing was different about this kiss, right?

“Best friends don’t kiss like that.” Jo pointed between the two of you.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. It was just for the show.” You shrugged her comment off. Really hoping this wasn’t because you two were ‘just friends.’

“Was it just for the show?” Naomi found themself standing infront of the foot of your bed in the hotel room you both wanted to share. You were performing here again tomorrow.

“Was what for the show?” You asked. Putting your phone down, the lock screen of you and Naomi posing in the mirror of your bathroom back home.

“The kiss. Practically the make out on stage.” They sat down near your feet. Awaiting your answer.

“I don’t know you tell me, Nomi. You’re the one that kissed me like you needed me to breathe.” You chuckled awkwardly, sitting up fully, looking at the person across the from you. The person you had been inlove with for soooo long already. It wasn’t normal.

“Because I do. I wouldn’t have kissed you like that unless I knew for sure that I wanted you. I do. I need you. But I just want to know if you need me and wanted me too.” Naomi wasn’t afraid to admit that they had been totally enamored by you to the point of insatiable desire. Granted they weren’t one to publically display their passionate makeouts with a partner infront of thousands of people, but they couldn’t possibly hold back from you in that moment.

“Of course I want you.” You whispered. The confession leaving their lips leaving you shocked and breathless. A weight lifting from your chest as the relief of the years worth of longing, yearning, and desire was matched by the one person you wanted it from. Naomi moved from the foot of the bed, now sitting next to you, forcing your bodies to face eachother again.

“Yeah? No bullshit?” Naomi asked. Suddenly becoming nervous at the thought of you reciprocating their feelings. “I didn’t actually think-“

“Hey, Naomi?” They stopped speaking, eyes growing wide.

“Yeah?” They asked you, their eyes focused on yours. Butterflies becoming an overwhelming sensation in both your bellies. Both your guys’ skin on fire; the cold hotel room blankets and sheets not doing a goddam thing.

“Kiss me.” You said. Immediately there was contact. Your lips found theirs. The feeling a lot more sensual and real. The kiss you had shared on stage was passionate and full of love. But this one; in private with no prying eyes to watch you exchange the love and affection you two had for one another. The feeling was unmatched.

You moved into their lap. Now straddling their hips as they sat under you, in the bed you two were sharing tonight. Your hands enveloping their face. Their arms pulling you in by wrapping completely around your waist.

Another make out ensued but this time, a lot slower. A lot more intimate than before. A moment you knew you’d both cherish forever. No one else, just you two.

Pulling apart, you continued to hold their face in your hands. Suddenly and totally enamored with every small detail about them that you realized you never took the proper amount of time to admire before. The crappy hotel room lamps casting the perfect glow on their face. You started counting all the small freckles across their face, the shiny and polished jewelry of their nose piercings.

Each individual curl that fell onto their face. You just couldn’t get enough of Naomi. They consumed you. Everything to you was about them. “What are you looking at?” They chuckled nervously, as their eyes scanned over every inch of your face.

“You, and how amazing you look.” You smiled, your eyes meeting theirs. Naomi’s nose scrunched, a big cheesy smile, their perfect teeth on display.

“Oh my god, baby. That was so cheesy.” You both giggled, Naomi rolling you guys over so you’re laying on your back, with them hovering over you. Kissing again before looking at eachother in the eyes. “Guess we can’t say we’re best friends anymore, huh?”

“No, because best friends don’t kiss.”

“Uh yeah, they do. Me, Katie, and Jo do it all the time.” Naomi said, giving you a ‘are you serious’ look.

“Oh, my bad. They don’t make out in each others arms in the bed that they’re sharing. That’s something couples do.” You replied, pushing loose curls out of their face.

“Oh, so we’re a couple now?” Naomi asked, semi serious look on their face, in a joking tone. Full intent on making you their girlfriend whether you were suggesting it or not.

“I don’t know, are we?” You wanted them to say it. To hear it come from their lips, looking at you, is something you have fantasized about for the longest time. The better part of your friendship. You obviously never saw yourself making it official…why do it now? You wanted to so bad but you wanted them to. Selfish, but you wanted it. You were gonna make them your partner, whether you had to act like you already were or for them to say it.

The little game of back and forth was eating you both up alive. One of you needed to say that you were together. Your eyes daring eachother to.

“You wanna be my girlfriend, gorgeous girl?” Naomi’s eyes grew soft, their long lithe fingers pushing your hair behind your ears. Naomi loved that they could see all of your face like this. They loved you like this. You, lying under them, them asking you to be their girlfriend. There was nowhere else Naomi wanted to be then right here over you. Looking at you like you had hung the moon and the stars.

“I would love to be your girlfriend, baby.” You kissed Naomi, smiling into the kiss. Rolling over again, you ending up back in their lap, straddling their hips. Pulling apart, your foreheads resting on each others, you simultaneously whispered ‘finally.’

Unbeknownst to you both, the sudden synchronous exclaim had you in a fit of giggles before you decided to take a picture of Naomi. To announce that what you two shared was real and not some show for the fans or some way to express your love for eachother while being completely and utterly in denial of the other loving you back.

Your hand pinching their cheeks, because when did you not take pictures of them like this…literally never. You still straddling their lap, Naomi smiled widely. We’re talking the biggest smile you have ever seen grace their handsome face. You put your phone up, making sure to get your legs wrapping around their hips before taking the picture. You changed the filter to black and white, captioning it ‘my baby💍💋’ before posting it.

You set your phone down, and kissed Naomi passionately once more. Turning off the big lights in the room, the small lights creating a nice calm, romantic ambiance. You both layed in eachothers arms. The total bliss you felt to be together—officially. It was amazing.

You two turned on the TV, and about ten minutes after turning it on, fifteen minutes after posting your hard launch, Josette, who happened to be sharing a room with her girlfriend next door, started yelling.

She was so loud you could hear her through the walls. It didn’t take any longer to gather what she had been yelling about. “Fucken finally! They’re finally official!”

You and Naomi both laughed at your bestfriend before interlocking your fingers together and enjoying the rest of your peaceful and romantic time together. As a couple. The allegations definitely got to you and were in no way gonna be beat now.

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selchwife · 2 years ago

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this is maybe not the blog to have this little bitchfest on but here we go. because i love bitching and am a hater.

i do get angry pretty often that nuanced conversations about things like abuse in fiction as a reflection of and dialogue with the society in which said fiction is created and how certain common narratives can genuinely influence people's thinking and how they interact with other people in subtle ways and how to create art as ethically as possible given all that have been like. kind of subsumed under this really simplistic shipcourse debate where i think both "sides" have, to a degree, kind of lost the plot (in that i think vocally profiction people are generally really noxious and horrible and morally indefensible, and antishippers who identify strongly with that label and who get really invested in Doing Discourse frequently stoop to the level proshippers often dwell at and fail to make actual cogent points, NOT in that i'm neutral or something obvs).

because the reality is that there is a deep and wide and vast can of worms opened when the base discussion is like, "what is and isn't okay to write and what should the consequences be for people who do write something that isn't okay?" because i think the reality is there are a myriad of positions to take in relation to those questions between the two extremes of "being offensive is COOL, actually," and "no one should ever write anything." like, an entire world of nuance that gets lost there. especially because the whole hashtag Debate is confined to the sphere of people's fucking dumb ass fanfiction. i don't think fic has no literary merit or something but it's so deeply entrenched in the realm of arguing over shit that largely is like. i don't know. i don't want to be insulting to fic but having read so much of it it astounds me that so many people argue on the side of like "but the ARTISTIC MERIT!!!! of these depictions!" and then you read some piece of Problematique Erotica with about as much Artistic Merit as the back of a box of cereal and you just have to stare out your window and wonder about the general state of intellectual discourse

anyway of course you guys already know this but i think in evaluating whether or not a depiction of a taboo subject like abuse is valuable one has to figure out what it is that the narrative is ultimately communicating first and how that message, like, idk gels with social discourses that already exist about the subject. this is why i tend to be more sharply critical of these elements in fanfiction; typically i feel like the only message is like "what if there was an excuse for this behavior/what if it was desirable" because it's, you know, erotica, or it's poorly-done Dark Romance, or whatever, and then there's a whole further debate to be had about like "well if it's just kink etc and clearly labelled as such does that actually feed into the dominant social narratives you're complaining about" but generally i think like, just the sheer volume of this stuff portrayed in a positive light is kind of concerning and there needs to be some kind of wider analysis of like, how that potentially perpetuates and is certainly perpetuated by external elements like rape culture or a society that largely has a lot of discomfort with actually criticizing behaviors it outwardly condemns when those with power and social capital are the ones doing the abusing.

but like i said, yknow, that's all complicated shit and i think your average like ~problematique darkfic~ writer has not really attempted to wrestle with any of those points in relation to their own work. or even cares about them or finds them valuable questions. it's really readily apparent too when people from this general "camp" are like "but what about when people like hannibal from tv show? he ate people???" like, as if there's the same sort of cultural defense of cannibalism as there is of fucking rape that makes idealized depictions of rape dangerous. like, get real.

also ive bitched about this on my personal but 90% of people who are not incest survivors like just in general have not even the barest understanding of what is actually objectionable about incest, so i don't tolerate its incursion into fandom shit basically at all. not to mention that debates about it tend to be massively offensive toward actual survivors on both sides (protip: try not to rely on arguments about how it's 'gross,' it's really fucking stigmatizing to hear repeatedly that abuse you have endured is primarily objectionable because other people think it's yucky rather than because it causes extreme harm physically and emotionally).

anyway tl;dr i am just really tired of people being dumb and knee-jerk in their endless quest to find justifications for being just as utterly offensive and vocally reprehensible as possible without any criticism or repercussions and how said desperation has really watered down any useful dialogues that could be had about fiction and its impacts on survivors of abuse in favor of, like, having to anticipate utterly inane bad-faith arguments from people who do not give a shit about anything but their own sense of being pleasurably naughty and transgressive. like the majority of proship arguments have all the intellectual honesty and depth of "but i WANT to stick my hand in the cookie jar!" to me.

#i obviously don't agree with harassment but i also don't think that means immunity from criticism. <3 #rape ment #incest ment #tag for complaining #ask to tag

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jimimn · 2 years ago

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Okay I was actually going to ask this yesterday but then all THAT happened and now Yoongi too oh my god 😭😭 This man I swear.. And he literally posted People on his story and I was like aww he's listening to People Akdnfnsknss 🤡🤡😭

So I actually wanted to ask (since his promotion is done now) how was Face era for you? 🥺 All the songs, all the Jimin content we got, all the good and bad 😩 Were you able to choose a favorite song? 👀 -🦋

idk why everyone though he was just generally sharing people when the image he shared literally was in the theme of d-day 😭 i knew something was fishy the moment i saw it 😭

Oh my god I have so many feelings. Face era was just so good 😭 (damn i wish i had better wordshdkfjdksk) I feel like we know jimin so much more now? both as a person and musically. From the promotional events to the album design everything was just so 'jimin' if you get what i mean 😭 jimin doing music shows because he wanted to see armys. going to the variety shows that he watches. doing video call fansigns because he wanted to talk to armys 🥹 i loved every bit of it (except the bad part obv all the unnecessary hate from jealous assholes ugh i dont even want to think about it).

All the performances were so so good jimin truly broke me with all the adlibs doing smf pt2 like HE ATEEEEEEEE. Ate cds for breakfast lunch and dinner. ALSO LIKE CRAZY JAZZ VERSION ON LEE MUJIN SERVICE!!!!! HIS VOCALS!!!!!! OBSESSED!!!!!! we apparently still have smf pt2 on studio choom left 👀 he worked so hard 😭😭😭😭 he deserves all the love 😭😭😭 both the choreographies too. i loved them. blew my mind away. AND NO, i still can't choose a fave. Call me biased but his album doesn't have a single skip 😭 If I absolutely HAVE to choose I think I'd go with Like Crazy. When I first heard it I did not think I would like it as much as I like smf pt2 but this song grew on me like no other idk what drug jimin laced it with 😭 BUT THEN i also absolutely love face off and alone and smf pt2 AND LETTER TOO it feels so wrong to leave them out they are all my babies do you see where I'm going with this 😭😭😭 what about you???

#sorry this is all over the place #i have too many feelings and zero good ways to express them #anonymous #replied #🦋 anon

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ashsostrange · 1 year ago

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update, i got curious and listened to some of the other songs ik🧍‍♀️i have to be brutally honest.

straight up, this is some kidz bop shit bro. this time i’m not even hating just to hate. i even checked twitter n they think the same 🙆‍♀️

now obv the old and new songs aren’t gna sound the same, but if anything they should sound better, not WORSE 😭 like all too well ten min v. ate so good. much better than the og that i never even bothered to listen to before it came out 🤷‍♀️ sk why was style butchered like that??

style sucked. 1/10. the one is bc the song is still titled “style,” so that’s gotta count for smthn. from the moment the guitar came on, i knew smthn wasn’t right… the echo was nawttt strong enough. she sounds too close to the mic 😞 in the og, she seemed kinda farther. i expected her to keep it like that. it’s not enough reverb in the vocals i fear. but god, most of all, i REALLY hate that fuckass guitar 🙎‍♀️

i already didn’t like bad blood, but wow. this is insane. it’s the epitome of kidz bop and i don’t feel the need to elaborate. 0/10

blank space is… alr ig. the instrumental was good, thank god. vocals r my issue again. please girl, utilize that echo effect or wtv. 4/10

whew, new romantics somehow ALSO sucks. bro. not the instrumental, mostly the vocals again. she lost me at “ah-ah’s” like ughhh. i had faith and for what? 2/10

out of the woods was good, minus the bridge. this ain’t no redemption tho, i’m still heated like bey. 7/10

in conclusion, this was let down! all of the og’s are so much better. these songs feel so empty/bland to me n that’s the only way i can describe it. i feel like she should’ve layered her vocals more or smthn 🥲🥲 nd used diff effects.. diff instruments on some parts. some of ts literally sounds robotic. put the autotune DEOWN. not hating, js sayin

congrats on getting the bag tho i guess 😞 boss up for reputation cz i actually fw getaway car heavy.

time to listen to style pls hold

#ash spills 💋

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ninasaysmanythings · 3 years ago

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Loona Japan Debut Thoughts

The rap line for their japanese songs did so well!! The flow was natural and their pronounciation was pretty decent!

I look forward to their future jpop releases, I'm so glad that they've decided to work with japanese producers in Star Seed!

I know people were upset about Vivi's lines being few to none, but looking at their video message she did seem to struggle a bit speaking japanese so give her time to develop the skill (it's already difficult speaking another language, let alone sing as well) ! She's got such a lovely voice that's very suitable for jpop ❤️

Being a jpop fan, I'm aware that there are singing styles and voice tones that are favoured more in this type of music. That in mind, I did find certain members who shined the most in this debut.

I hope in future these members will "front" the group in their japan releases (personal preference! I know everyone is exceptional in their own way, I just think these girls shined the most):

Gowon (crunchy vocals are well appreciated in jpop)

Yeojin (of course she ATE THAT in Star Seed)

Choerry (perfect tone for jpop)

Hyunjin (has the best pronounciation, obv since she did technically debut in Japan)

Vivi (perfect tone for jpop)

Haseul (nasally tones a very suitable in jpop)

In other words, their japanese releases are the perfect opportunity to bring out the girls who are usually the sub-vocalists.

Jpop music is mostly melody and music driven, never about having high skill vocals.

Overall I'm really happy with this debut!

#loona #nina says #hula hoop #loona japan

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scowlowl · 4 years ago

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Hi c: I remember a post, I think it was from you, about long covid and getting it? Was that you? A friend of mine is struggling and I was wondering if you had any advice about what she can do :< Thank you!!

Oh no, I hope your friend feels better soon! That might have been me, I think I posted about it here a few times and there have definitely been twitter threads.

Standard disclaimer stuff: I am not a doctor. What I found helped me might not help someone else. Long covid is kind of fucked up to deal with because it seems to hit everyone in different ways, in different areas, and months later something that wasn't a problem before can suddenly become one. The long haul groups talk about it as something that feels like it moves around the body, like a total shit gremlin.

The thing that helped me the most initially was joining the facebook groups with other people figuring shit out. This was back April/May for me but they're still very active and full of people sharing resources.

Survivor Corps is I think the big one and they've been the ones reaching out to media and doctors to try to gain some recognition with the medical community initially (as far as I know, all kind of a blur tbh). There's also a long covid group here, and if your friend searches for like, long covid + the country they're in there are usually more local/regional ones for resources closer to home too.

Because we don't really know what specific mechanism is triggering a lot of the long covid stuff yet, most of us are just treating symptoms. Some people have been diagnosed with mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) and I don't know diddly squat about that but it might be something for your friend to look into. My whole thing has been inflammation and my immune system basically attacking itself because immune systems are both very complex and compellingly fucking stupid. Not to victim blame the immune system or anything.

What helped me depended on what was going wrong at the time, obv, but it means it's a long list.

This is just going to be a brain dump, sorry.

- I never had pneumonia. Mine started in my throat, probably damaged my vocal chords, but never turned into pneumonia. I still had shortness of breath, pressure in my chest, and my oxygen levels dropped. I could breathe but with great difficulty and described it to the EMTs as "breathing is like work." It took all of my energy and focus to breathe in enough. If you are that this point, ever, like, literally fucking ever, call an ambulance.

- Tylenol for a fever.

- Blood thinners if necessary, I never had any but we know now that a lot of problems are blood clot-related. Tbqh my blood is more thin now than anything but I always had anemia and some sort of “your blood is too small actually?” problem and we don’t know why. I just bleed a lot and bruise easier now.

- If they try to tell you it's anxiety or in your head or you're not that bed, tell them to go fuck themselves and go to the hospital. Get tested if you can. A lot of the problems long haulers ran into was that we got sick before tests were available, or we were talked into staying home by the emergency workers, and we never got tested. This opens the doors for doctors to tell you it's all in your head, psychological, anxiety, allergies, etc. Just. Go when you first feel sick if at all possible. Get tested before it turns into long covid.

- I was not sure in the beginning what "shortness of breath" or "pressure" actually felt like, and it made me delay calling for an ambulance for a few days as well. For me, it felt like there was an elastic band of pressure around my lungs. I couldn't fully inhale. My diaphragm was fucked in ways I still don't understand. My lungs also felt heavy, like there was a weight on them or like my lungs themselves were too stiff to inhale. That all counts as pressure/tightness/shortness of breath. So does air hunger, or feeling like you want to be swallowing air.

- I know I'm being super obvious but seriously shortly before I got sicker, I hit up twitter to ask what "pressure" was supposed to feel like because I couldn't tell if what I had "counted."

- Breathing: lying on my stomach with my chest propped up by pillow, in bed helped. So did pursed lip breathing: here.

- I was prescribed salbutamol initially, which did help with the worst of the wheezing and opened up some of my lungs so I could breathe easier. When I went to the ER again a couple months later, they gave me like 5x the usual dose and sent me home.

- I'm also taking Flovent/fluticasone twice a day for asthma maintenance.

- Histamines are a problem for a lot of people. Some develop a histamine intolerance, which can be helped by eating a low histamine diet.

- Antihistamines helped me the most. I was taking Allegra-D daily. Pepcid AC also helps, because it targets a different kind of histamine. There was such a run on Pepcid when this started that it was actually impossible to find in my area and I had to order some online.

- I was recently prescribed Singulair and it has been life-changing this past week or so. As far as I know it's not really an antihistamine but blocks/inhibits a particular receptor involved in inflammation that comes into play when allergies do.

- Electrolytes. I don't know why, but my electrolytes are permanently fucked and too low now. If I don't go through like a litre of gatorade a day (or whatever, pick your brand of supplements), I am even more tired and brain foggy than usual. Helps a lot.

- Inflammation is a major problem all around. Sometimes I go for the naproxen or advil and it will help any really major acute flare-up now (like, I can feel when my gallbladder is getting inflamed and about to spasm and I can cut it off sort of), but mostly it's also daily maintenance. I take cucurmin and black pepper daily.

- Other supplements: vitamins A & D, a multivitamin, NAC.

- CBD oil. This worked wonders for me for a lot of the side-effects of covid, costochondritis and shingles pain especially.

- Diet. I mentioned the low histamine one above. Other people have had some success with a low inflammation diet. Some folks also have so many GI problems that they basically ate chicken and rice and slowly reintroduced foods to see what would trigger something. I appear to get super fucked by nightshades now, e.g. Alcohol is an absolute no. I had to cut caffeine for months because of my heart. (No caffeine/alcohol/red meat was my doctor's first and best advice for heart stuff at the time.)

- Speaking of the heart stuff, if your friend is dealing with that: electrolytes again. I have pedialyte freezies that I would suck on whenever heart palpitations started and it helped calm it down some. My heart was so, so fucked for months that whenever I ate or stood up or sat down it would hit like 140bpm and I had to spend an hour moving as little as possible or I'd just about pass out. There are a LOT of long-haulers now dealing with POTS and I can't really speak to what helps that in particular but if your heart is messing up at all: call a doctor. I still don't know how damaged my heart is from all of this because doctors and wait lists, etc. Get a jump on that.

- Insomnia was absolutely the worst I’ve ever had and I’ve had lifelong, “I’m awake for three days wee” insomnia. The Singulair knocks me right out at night, so that's a bonus, but there has not been a single night since getting sick where I didn't have to take something to help me sleep. I was on Zopiclone before getting sick, at least, but seriously talk to someone about insomnia if necessary. The sleep deprivation alone was making so many things worse.

- Brain fog? Brain fog. I don't have any or many answers for this. My short-term memory is wrecked and usually I'll remember something 2 weeks later, so I live my life on a 2-week lag now.

- Related to brain fog, fatigue. Don't fuck with it. Do not. Chronic Fatigue and Myalgic encephalomyelitis are both brought up often with long covid. I am dealing with it but don't know what to say about it yet because I haven't had a single doctor give a shit thus far. I've spoken to a relative who's an occupational therapist about it and her most helpful advice was about "energy envelopes," which is basically spoon theory. If you feel tired: stop. If you don't, or if you try to push through, we relapse hard and fast and you can pay for one day of walking 10 minutes too long with weeks of being stuck in bed. It's miserable. It will take longer to get back to normal. Some of us can exercise and feel amazing after; others are exercise intolerant and it wrecks them. (I feel best after like, 10 minutes of walking and sunshine right now, which is after months and months of being bedridden.)

- Treat mental exertion the same as physical. Doctors told me to drink Gatorade after mental work because it's still work, and it has helped a lot for whatever reason. It also helps to work on one thing at a time, take a break, switch gears, take a break, etc. I can't multitask anymore anyway.

- Eliminate whatever stressors you can. Stress will make everything worse.

- It comes and goes. Every relapse was a bit shorter and a bit easier for me, so that now when I fuck up it's like 2-3 days instead of weeks, but it's a rollercoaster.

- It can be random as hell. For about two months my gallbladder just decided to up and die, basically, and we were talking about having it removed. And then it was fine. Hasn't bugged me again lately. I know I said it's symptom management, but it's also like... symptom chasing and trying to figure out what's happening every time the sun rises. This is also exhausting. Everything is exhausting.

- Brain shit. Some of us have serious trouble reading. Sentences swim together. Letters wouldn't turn into words. I took this as a Challenge and started reading children's books and then Animorphs again, like... slowly, as much as I could do without pushing it, and it's still not perfect or great but it was an okay place to start. Honestly the hardest part was the embarrassment and going from a PhD program to reading kids books, but. Do what you have to. Do what you can.

- Sticky notes and labelling things around the house so I could see them when I needed them. I am not fucking around when I say brain fog. I can open the fridge, know I have milk, know it is in the door, and literally not see it to find it. I will put the cream in the dishwasher. I will spin in circles in the kitchen remembering and forgetting and remembering why I’m there again. Sticky notes. Also: journals, index cards, write literally everything down if you need to remember something. Put it somewhere obvious. I like writing on the bathroom mirror for the important shit. (Don’t use lipstick.)

- Unsurprisingly, a lot of us are struggling with anxiety and depression. Don't let doctors get it backward: it's not anxiety making us sick, it's being sick and ignored and fighting to be helped that's making our mental health worse. So many doctors tell us it's all in our head. I did not move across the country because I was too sick to take care of myself because of ~allergies~ or ~anxiety.~ Fuck off.

- So, so many people report that they relapse whenever they menstruate so if your friend is in that group, they might want to prepare to feel like fucking trash every 4 weeks no matter what they do. I don’t have any advice on this one, I’m sorry. There are a lot of people discussing it in the FB groups, though, and those are searchable for symptoms.

- So... a tl;dr list of things that might help: anti-inflammatory diets, anti-histamine diets, pepcid AC, allegra or other allergy meds, vitamin A/D/E, multivitamins, electrolytes and gatorade, albuterol, fluticasone, zopiclone (or anything that helps with sleep), CBD oil, singulair, anti-nausea meds (buscopan), muscle relaxants (spasming gallbladder). Rest, so much rest, do not fuck with The Rest if you can help it. I also encourage just getting high and edibles as much as you can because it sure helped me chill out big time and I think was a big factor in my recovery, at least as far as helping me calm down and helping my heart were concerned.

- The actual most helpful part outside of what to take or do was other people. Friends would go out and get me things when I could not, including like, cat food deliveries and all. I had co-workers ready to step in to take over my work on days I could not. I had friends calling doctors because I was too tired to fight them or self-advocate. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say they helped save my idiot life this year. Literally. It's a lot to ask of anyone but it's also that level of support that some of us need, and there shouldn't be any shame in it. (I still feel bad about it anyway but what are you gonna do.)

Depending on where you live, some places are setting up long-haul covid clinics to help people. Reports are mixed: some demand you had a positive test even if you were sick before tests were available. Some people are getting a lot of help regardless. Some are being sent home and told not to come back anyway. It’s kind of a gamble right now but either way, there’s at least some medical recognition making headway now so my fingers are crossed.

Anyway you basically sound like a good bean and your friend is lucky to have you asking around. I have absolutely forgotten something at some point in here because, well, brain fog and no memory, but if you have any questions or want something clarified please just ask. Stay safe!

#replies #covid-19 #long-haul covid #long post #looooooooong

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kimseunghuwun · 6 years ago

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YG Treasure Box Episode 8: Reaction

ohh boi i had a family get together // party thing at my grandma’s when the episode went live and i think i ate something wrong bc my esophagus is on fiiire but lets get into it

((vote for seunghun!! if you dont i will haunt your dreams until the end of time!!))

((im kidding but ya never know :)) ))

that yellow building is disgusting

anyways

were back with kotaro going against jongseob

jongseob has stage experience, so he knows how to work the stage

at first he tried to get into junhyuk's team, but junhyuk chose hyunsuk

jongseob keeps trying to get into teams but no one picks him

kotaro x jongseob were last remaining

they struggled bc of the 6 year age difference

practicing alone instead of together

they do the monster by eminem n rihanna

kotaros vocals are crazy good man

that rap tho

yg's ooh lol

their stage was fun

yg says they didn't seem like a team, but competitors

(they are?? what do you expect??)

jongseob wins

next is junghwan n inhong

junghwan is asked by yg who has better looks

(random but ok)

junghwan picks himself

so does inhong lol

theyre babies

working hard

their stage is good

theyre doing sexy moves i feel like a creep watching

yg says they struggled picking bc theyre the same (skill level)

junghwan wins

aw bby dont cry

the people who win cry more than the ppl who lose aw

next are asahi n seokhwa

awkward beans

asahi only learned to dance recently so its hard for him to keep up

he takes dance lessons with team b

yg wants him to make more expressions

hes the quiet type

during the mid evaluation, asahi shows more expressions

seokhwa is told to make more expressions

ohh vocals

team j half-crying during every stage is a whole mood i have to say

yg says they both couldve done better

winner is seokhwa

jaehyuk n siyun are next

their stage is barely shown

jaehyuk wins

next are sungyeon n yunseo

their stage isnt show

yunseo wins

finally hyunsuk n junhyuk

ill say this now if hyunsuk doesnt win ill fight

THEYRE SO CUTE

also super good

everyones anticipating

they do amazing obv

this needs to be a unit

that teamwork is great

"if you aint talking money dont talk to me" idk but that line whoa

whooo

"hyunsuk what happens if you lose"

ILL FIGHT THATS WHAT HAPPENS

(no hate to junhyuk btw hes great but hyunsuk deserves that debut spot)

hyunsuk wins

thank god

ouch that hug hurt my heart

junhyuk crying too

:'(

hyunsuk crying after ouch

everyone hugging aw

next battle is a team performance

5 members a team

the battle decides who goes in the final

1 person has to leave treasure team

one person in the unit with the least votes leaves

yedam keita had the most votes

followed by jeongwoo haruto

the four top guys have to pick who has to leave

yedam leaves the room

he wanted to perform with both of them

they decide on not taking a 3rd rapper

so byounggon leaves treasure

bbyy dont cry

everyones crying

no one expected byounggon to leave

"can i curse on camera" MOOD

trainees make 3 teams of 5

in total theres 4 teams who will compete

the winning team goes to the final round with all its members

other teams face elimination

teams are chosen by trainees picking 2 people to perform with

2 with most votes pick the members

team b all vote for yoonbin lol

in the end::

byounggon got the most votes

but first place is a tie with hyunsuk

so they get to pick, first from their votes

byounggon picks mashiho

then junkyu

then doyoung

thats it for his votes

next goes hyunsuk

he picks jihoon yeongue n yoshinori

byounggons last member is yoonbin

hyunsuks last choice is dohwan

anyways the next ep looks great but also like mental torture

see you next weeek

(if seunghun is eliminated ill fight)

#yg treasure box #kim seunghun #bang yedam #choi hyunsuk #lee byounggon #ygtb #ygtb ep 8 #ygtb ep reaction

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acti-veg · 7 years ago

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i really don‘t get why there‘s jokes about how vegans can‘t talk about anything else but being vegan. everytime i look up a vegan recipe on youtube you can bet someone‘s like „i‘m not even vegan but i‘ll try this“ or „this would prob taste better with REAL milk“. carnists def need to announce that they do in fact eat animals everytime there‘s an opportunity!! like they don‘t need to rub it in on an obv vegan video made by a vegan and then get defensive when a vegan reacts

Oh yeah, I don’t think it’s something meat eater’s talk that much about among themselves, but as soon as they meet a vegan an awful lot of them feel the need to be extra vocal about the fact that they’re not vegan. Which is so strange, since eating animals is the default position, but they talk about it as if it’s something to take pride in. I’ve never quite understood that, and It’s not something I can remember feeling myself all those years ago when I ate animals too. Maybe it has something to do with the stigma attached to veganism, so people need to give extra assurances that they’re not. That or they just think “bacon tho” is hilarious the literal millionth time it’s written on a vegan post.

#ask #dealing with carnists

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wikipediafag · 3 years ago

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alright Regional at Best/Demos lets hit it

Guns for Hands: see prev

Holding on to You: see prev

Ode to Sleep: tbh this is the version of Ode that makes the most sense it feels like it was meant to be more outlandish (vine boom sound) lol anyway what'd i rate the other? like 7/10 idk 6/10

i took a break

Slowtown: wait this is kinda vibey do i like this? josh dunn isn't drumming at this time I'm p sure... OH MY GOD VOCALSsSS what hap. yeah p sure that's not josh that's the friend right? this song is like okay if ur emo and not otherwise. synth kinda fucks tho. 7/10

Forest: this song feels lowkey like it was 9 different songs. it sounds reeeaaally unfinished. i mean, i guess that's why its RaB not anything else "does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name?" classic 4/10

Glowing Eyes: i dont ever remember liking this one very much. still not too fond of it, but its better than forest. 5/10 the pre-chorus is really good for a TOP song lol the chorus singing is dreadful tho

Kitchen Sink: LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO now we're talking classic classic. this is absolutely a legendary song. honestly the smokepurp or yung lean of white boy rap. BC A KITCHEN SINK TO YOU IS NOT A KITCHEN SINK TO ME he at w that tbh this whole song is one of their only ones that's not a love song that gets a thumbs up from me its addictive.lol what? i forgot a feature WAIT BETTER BET I AM A GAMBLIN MAN I AM he ateeeeee yt boy rap ftw 7/10 verse 8/10 song with 9/10 screams

Anathema: i remember loving this song but thinking the vocals were atrocious so lets see if i can stand it. actually! its okay! this stupid cowbell metronome is gna eat my brain tho. i feel lik in certain emotion it could add tension tho. oooo i like his vocals in the chorus. pretty sad song. 4/10

Lovely: i remember liking this one too. YEOUCH THATS A HORRIBLE SMAPLE is it a sample??? knowing TJ its probs original. YOU SAY THINGS W YOUR MOUTH COBWEBS AND FLIES COME OUT wait he ate. WHY IS RaB KINA GOOD????WAIT I KIND OF LIKE THIS RAP AND THE SAMPLES OVER SO? wait corny ass lyrics. oh my god the travis scott autotune. kill me. oH my god. the post-chorus instrumental. you're done. 6/10 oh? wait? the "God hit me straight up" is good. ok wait chorus is back 6/10

Ruby: i vibe w the intro okay okay (<-- this is how they get u) WAIT ITS GOOD SO FAR. ITS A 10/10 SO FAR. i like this. lowkey gecs-y. or Alex G omg yeah totally Alex G okay scream incoming.... rating: 100000/10 scream. holy shit. unparalleled. put his whole t. jussy in this.

Trees: honestly, same as the other. someone listened to Street Lights too many times... 4/10

Be Concerned: the title. oh god. what am i in for. sweet intro vocals. okay he started rapping points demoted. this is garbage. this is like... very Vessel lyrics. KUYBUYTLUT THE FEATURE???gtfo byebyebyeb 2/10

House of Gold: the same but bad 1/10

Two: wait this fucks so far I'm like 45sec in PLEASE be instrumental. no way it is he'd never wait he kind? of? did? i like this a lot 10/10 bet the meaning is so corny

Time to Say Goodbye: the sample's good obv "i never felt closer to just crying as you torture me" LMFAO relatable but someone get this man more therapy and less studio time 6/10

No Phun Intended: (fem repulsed wojac) yeah this shit gotta go 3/10 but 2/10 for that second verse and the shity screams

Coconut Coconut Sharks in the Water: would consider relearning to play for younger kids but uh forgettable 5/10

re-listening 2 the tøp songs i have saved from 2016 emo days:

its saved in like reverse order so... BLURRYFACE! i'll add a break w reactions

Heavydirtysoul: ...what. firstly, best rap verse they ever did. actually, let me say. this is their only song i consider rap. secondly... what u meant by "gangsters"... thirdly, that death/me//dog/rabbit really aint even good bye its like a 7/10 overall

Stressed Out: ngl this shit goes off its like... cheugy. idk 8/10

Ride: USGK WHAT IS THIS BEAT- "on my enemies I wouldn't wish who i was" ...bars. actually this song has a couple good Quotables. might make a compilation of the ones i hear. the "ooOooOooooO"s are killing me. 6/10

Fairly Local: what did i find likable about this band. "the few the proud and the emotional" IM SCREAMING this is torture to sit thru no joke 0/10 delete it

Tear in my Heart: SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA BLEED TO KNOW yeah they ate THE SONGS ON THE RADIO R OK.. BUT MY TASTE IN MUSIC IS YOUR FACE classic 2nd wave emo love song mumbo jumbo i love it i eat this shit like yall breathe "shes a butcher with a smile, cut me father than I've ever been" 10/10, would listen now

okay yeah we'll make 10/10 mean i'd listen to it on a normal day rn

Lane Boy: (dark eyebags smoking wojac) "i wasn't raised in the hood" we know, tyler. anyway glad to see they caved LMFAO sorry Christian rap wasn't lucrative 2/10 I'm only 1/2 way thru i cant stand this bs

The Judge: 10/10 i still play it on the ukulele most ppl who've heard me play hear this song i love it so much its such a good campfire-y lil shanty (and its easy as balls to play)

Doubt: imagine me crying and screaming in pain while tyler joseph holds a gun to my head and forces me to hear his mixtape and compliment it. that's how i feel right now. its so corny. 4/10

Polarize: this man Cannot sing oh my holy fuck. I'm just skipping it corny corny corny bad production 1/10

We Don't Believe What's on TV: another AMAZING ukulele bop. love this one as a campfire-y song. again. he cant sing. but its a cute song and the lyrics are frivolous and fun and sweet. 10/10, would play not listen

Message Man: i used to adore this song okay lets go. good drum! josh dunn always held the talent tbh. trumpet & drums divine. tyler's a Christian poet. i actually kinda like this song. i wouldn't abandon it. maybe 8/10? would potentially include in a hyperspecific-emotion-in-a-playlist playlist. OH MY GOD THE RAP STARTED nvm. 6/10 no joke that shit is bad now. it literally got bad. this shit is so off.

Hometown: i think I'll like this one actually. i remember not liking it until i was almost out of my TOP phase, so i might like it now. oh! "be the one, be the one" its this one! yeah this is a pop song 100% i can get behind this. let's hope he doesn't rap. so far, 7/10. would play in the car with a friend who likes pop.

Not Today: wait...is this...good? might use this for a coffeehouse or smth it seems like a fun song to sing. actually i think i even have the tab from this phase bye. 9/10. funny little lyrics. quirky.

Goner: honestly? cringe. the build-up & screaming is satisfying emotionally but the beginning is ew. 6/10

insane. 4/10 overall. would not listen again.

#almost done it seems

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theswiftarmy · 5 years ago

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#21 - A Hip Hop, Record Skip, And A Jump Away To Ye’s House We Go

WRITER: A quick personal note just in case Taylor Swift does ever Taylurk this story one day. I would never interrupt you or steal your mic from you, EXCEPT under one sole singular condition and that is if I were telling you “The Interrupting Cow” knock-knock joke. In which case, I would need to interrupt you with a moo after you said the line “The interrupting cow who?” as I would then be required to moo in an interrupting manner in order to complete the joke. But other than that, I would not interrupt you. If you have not heard the interrupting cow knock-knock joke, it goes as follows:

Me: Knock-knock.

Taylor: Who’s there?

Me: The Interrupting Cow.

Taylor: The Interrupting Cow who?

Me: MOOOOOOOOOOO

The helicopter landed in Kim and Kanye’s backyard after a quick stop at LAX to drop off Ariana Grande and Scooter Braun so that they could jet off in Ariana’s private jet in time to make her show in Tampa, Florida—and of course, if they didn’t make the show in time, there’s always fashionably late. All of Ariana’s Arianators were to travel with her and attend her show, but, after one of her Arianators asked over and over during the entire helicopter ride from Oak Felder’s studio to LAX it was decided the vocal one of her Arianators would stay behind to “help take care of Justin”. But let’s be honest, she really just used it as an excuse to take selfies with Kim Kardashian West, or as this particular Arianator put it, ‘that was just an added bonus’.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat lunch?” Kim asked greeting them at the backyard helipad.

“Yes Kim, we already ate at Oak’s place.” The Arianator influencer didn’t hesitate to take the reins of the conversation. “Kim, can I call you Kim? Or should I call you Mrs. Kardianshian West? Or how about Karshi?”

“Don’t call me Karshi. You may call me Kim.”

“Kim! Pal—buddy, friend, can I call you friend? We’re friends now right? How do you feel about a selfie with me?”

Justin pushed her aside, “I’m sorry, she’s just a little excited from the helicopter ride. She’s never ridden in a helicopter before.”

“Uh, yeah I have!” The influencer argued. “I’ve been in a helicopter, like, three times. Obvs you don’t follow my Insta—”

Kim kindly intervened, “It’s okay. Sure, I’ll take a selfie with you.”

“YAAAASSSSSS!” The teenage Arianator squeed, “We’ll have to take a tour of your house first so I can decide which part of the house is the best to take the photo. The lighting will have to be just right—“

“First, let’s talk business before all that.” Scott insisted.

The Arianator waved his comment away, “I have a better idea, how about you boys go with Kanye to talk fun and games, and Kim and I will go on a tour and talk about the best place to take some photos and do a quick video interview—“

“Well, I don’t know about a video interview—“ Kim said hesitantly.

“Oh, you’ll be fine! Don’t worry; I’ve written a whole script out on my phone in the notes app, I typed it all up in the helicopter while we were on the way here. Mrs. K, can I ask where your computer room or office is? I need a printer to use, don’t worry, I’ll even print it out for you, or I could just email the script to you, what’s your email? By the way, do you have a shoe closet? I’m making a YouTube video series about ‘out of this world’ shoe closets—well, we can talk more about that as we walk, let’s walk and talk. Actually, Kim my friend, change of plans, I need to borrow some of your makeup first, I’ve got to touch up before the photo shoot and video interview—”

The Arianator took Kim’s hand and led her off without giving Kim a chance to say otherwise. Kim looked over her shoulder with a look that said ‘don’t leave me with this teenager’. The others waved and smiled back at her as the Arianator pulled her away from the group.

The remaining members of the group moved to a brightly lit sitting area where they discussed the reason for the visit with Kanye West. They sipped various fancily made beverages kindly provided by the West’s personal bartender.

“You want me to do what?” Kanye said after listening to the plan. “I don’t know, I’m just not in that business anymore. That’s the old me—no matter how bad the Scoots needs me, by the way, where is he?”

“Scooter? He’s on his way to Ariana’s show.” The Biebs replied. Kanye nodded back. Justin took a sip of his drink. “This drink is pretty yummy… mmmm… hey that’s a good idea for a song! Yummy. I think my next single that I drop, I’m gonna call it ‘Yummy’. What do ya think?”

“I like it. I think you should do it JB.” Kanye said lifting his own drink to clink with Justin’s glass.

“Yummy, yeah I like it Ye.”

Scott sat across from Ye and JB in the comfortable living room sitting area also sipping a beverage from a glass. “Well, there’s a little more to the situation than just interrupting Taylor’s Artist of the Decade acceptance speech.”

“Yeah, you said that— her backing track is bad, and you need a distraction to change it out. Trust me, I made that girl famous, I know exactly what she needs in her live act, she needs a little of The King himself…”

“Elvis?” Scott asked wondering how much Kanye already knew.

“NO. She needs a little bit of Jesus—”

“Well, urm… we’re talking about the other King, Elvis.” Oak replied.

“There’s only one King.” Kanye said back, dead serious.

“Okay, well, we’re talking about Elvis then, or specifically a sound brought into this world, or captured, by the engineer involved with his recording process.” Scott said trying to be more specific.

Kanye sighed. “Like I said, I work for the Lord now. The only recording process I do is for Jesus.” Kanye replied, becoming disinterested in the favor asked of him. He looked out the window at his kids playing and smiled.

“Which is exactly why we need you!” Oak pleaded. “See, the sound that Taylor is going to add behind her track isn’t just any old sound…”

They went on to explain the egg track and how the sound seems to be the devil from rock and roll that the squares from the 1950s feared, it was replicating itself in audio form and is being used to place fans under mind control, or something along those lines.

“…and anyway,” Oak said finishing up the explanation, “so Scott here—just like anyone who ever started singing ‘The Song That Never Ends’—not knowing what it was, unleashed the devil sound into the world. A sound that the engineer for Elvis, this guy named Bill Porter, attempted to capture and contain… That is, until Scott here put it in Taylor Swift’s music.”

“Honest mistake.” Scott said, shrugging his shoulders.

Kanye sat up in his chair now curious about the devil sound, “Well why didn’t you say so! That’s my jam! I’m all about an audio exorcism.”

“We don’t quite need you to do that,” Oak answered back, “We just need you to help interrupt her long enough that we can stop her from playing it on live television and spreading it.”

“Alright. I’m in. But only because you seem to need the one and only Ye.” Kanye replied in a preacher-esk voice. “Let me assemble my Sunday Service—“

“No, no, we only need you.” Oak said squarely.

“Are you sure?” Kanye asked, his hand pulling back from a large SS button he had pulled out of a hidden compartment, “I really think my Sunday Service—“

“The Sunday Service will draw too much attention.” The lawyer added.

Kanye pushed the SS button back into its compartment and placed his hands in front of him in a prayer like way but touching only the fingertips together with his fingers spread out, in order to think about it. He went deep into thought, sitting there, not moving. They waited quietly for his answer. “Well, alright, but I’ll keep them on standby should we need their help.”

“I’m okay with that.“ Everyone else nodded in agreement with Scott. “So, the plan is for you to interrupt her right before she gives her speech.” Scott said while pulling out an old-fashioned spiral bound notebook to make a few notes. He then turned to look over at Carl also holding his own notebook and making notes with his trademark red pen.

“She’s scheduled to give her acceptance speech before she performs the medley.” The lawyer added. “There’s speculation that if she finds out what we’re up to she may move the performance so that it happens before the speech, but we’re confident that won’t happen.”

“I can do this.” Kanye said in a slightly excited tone.

“We know you can. You’ve done it before, Ye.” Justin Bieber said half joking but half cheering him on. “You got this!”

“I made that girl famous!” Kanye shouted jumping up. Now ready and pumped to take on the devil sound that rock and roll failed to contain—the sound about to be unleashed once again across national television by Taylor Swift and her Swiftie attorney, Sara.

“Yes, you already said that. We know... You made her famous.” Scott said back suddenly irritated, he looked at his watch. Now that Kanye was on board they really needed to get going. Scott Borchetta thought about countering Kanye with the fact that HE was the one who first found and signed Taylor Swift, making it him, and not Kanye West the one to make Taylor Swift famous, but that would be a debate for another time.

“I won’t let her finish!” Kanye shouted as he jumped into the air energetically.

“No no, let her finish, just, interrupt her.” Oak corrected. “Like that interrupting cow joke. I love that joke.”

“Sorry, it’s been a while, I’m a little rusty, let me try this again. Okay, I got it. I’m gonna be like—” Kanye made like he was holding an invisible mic as he stood in the center of the room, “Taylor, Imma let you finish… but first… Knock knock… Who’s there… The interrupting cow… Interupting cow who… Interupting cow MOOOOO!”

Justin interrupted Kanye, “I mean, I don’t know if I would use the interrupting cow joke to interrupt Taylor, but you do you Kanye, you do you. Also, I would argue that if anything maybe she made YOU more famous. Or perhaps you both made each other famous?”

Kanye made a face at Bieber like ‘bruh, what’s your deal? We’re supposed to have each other’s backs, “Is he serious right now? What’s his deal? And why is he wearing those headphones.” Kanye asked Oak.

“He’s infected with an earworm.” Oak replied.

“A what?” Ye inquired confused.

Oak explained how The Amen Break samples when layered in and mastered within a song would interact with the Elvis noise to produce infectious results such as the Earworm songs that could be used to take down any opponent standing in the way of Taylor and her Swiftie music war against Scooter.

“I’m sorry man, Gomez really got you good. Damn, you guys really do need my help. Okay I’m in. Time to save the world. If there’s one thing Kanye does best it’s saving people, it’s time for Ye to be what he was meant to be!”

“Sounds good.” Scott said finishing the last sip of his drink. “Game plan time. We’ll FaceTime Billie Eilish from the helicopter to update her on the timing of things—”

Oak ejected a small USB flash drive from his MacBook Pro that he had been working on the whole time while they were talking. “We’ll need to meet Billie to hand her this drive so she can upload the sound into the American Music Awards sound system and overwrite the change. It has a placebo sound. I’ve also layered in some frequencies that I think may temporarily un-Swiftify any Swifties that have only recently been exposed to the sound in case Taylor has been using it to directly blast attack anyone who might find out what she’s up to. It’s all theoretical of course based on some of my old thesis papers. It could just have no effect at all. But, right now, we need anything we can get.”

Justin pulled out one of his twelve phones, “Wait, Billie just texted me back and said that she’ll help BUT ONLY if it can be kept secret and if we can assure her that nothing will happen to her brother.” Justin read the message out loud. “Okay, I’m texting her back not to say anymore and that I’ll give her a secret number to one of my other 11 phones. But I have to give her the number in person. I don’t trust Taylor isn’t monitoring our messages on this phone. That number will be a safe number to call us on right before the show starts or should something unexpected go down. It will be a secure phone just for Billie to call me.”

“If she’s texting with you and Taylor is monitoring the phone, then how is it a secret?” Scott asked.

“She’s using Belieberspeak.”

“What?” Scott replied.

“It’s a code I use to chat with my Beliebers that Taylor shouldn’t be able to figure out, although now that she’s turned a few of them into Swifties—like the one who stole my cat on the rooftop of Big Machine Records—she may have broken the code with their help. I hold out hope that any Belieber turned Swiftie would keep Belieberspeak a secret.”

“So, Billie’s a Belieber?” Pop asked after not saying a word the whole time, sitting quietly and listening to the entire conversation.

“It’s complicated. She was before she created The Avocados. I’ll explain it some other time. She’s still a Belieber in a way, but she’s also of her own way now because she has her own followers.”

“This is fascinating stuff. A little hard to keep track of, but fascinating nonetheless.” Carl sipped an ice water. “Anyway, everything is set then, I’ve called in a favor from a friend of mine named Banksy—it’s not the same Banksy as the artist, this is a different one, he’s a money guy who does banking stuff so he calls himself Banksy as well he was born long before the artist Banksy was born and was already calling himself Banksy before the other Banksy started making art—”

“Fascinating stuff, Carl, a little hard to keep track of, but fascinating nonetheless.” Justin poked fun and then laughed, he leaned over and fist pumped Kanye.

“—Anyway, as I was saying, before Justin here mockingly interrupted me… we’re cleared to land on the roof of one of the nearby banks—We could land at the Ritz Carlton right beside the Microsoft Theater as they do have a helipad on the roof, but Taylor was given a complimentary suite there, most luxurious one in the place I might add. It’s best for us to keep a little distance and approach in secret. My contact at the bank will meet us and take us to the American Music Awards. Is everyone on the same page here?”

Everyone nodded, ready to head out.

“Okay.” The lawyer put away his notebook and red pen.

The Arianator Influencer returned from her grand tour of the house just as the group had finished finalizing plans.

“Keep an eye on this one, she’s going places.” Kim said smiling.

“Well thank you Kim! I keep TRYING to tell everyone that! I know I’m going places, it’s just a matter of convincing everyone else of that.”

Kim Laughed. “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you. What did you say your name was again?”

“Why Kim Kardashian West, I thought you would never ask! My name is Kim too! Well, almost, it’s Kymmie with a “y”. The ‘y’ is after the ‘k‘, okay? With an ‘ie’ at the end. You look confused, here let me write it down for you, that way you’ll have it. And also here’s all my social media accounts so you can friend and follow and like share and subscribe.” She pulled out a pen and wrote quickly in her notebook then tore a part of the page away handing a piece of torn off pink notebook paper to Kim Kardashian West. “Okay, call me! We’ll setup another get together. I have so many ideas for collabs between us. Oh my God, I can’t wait to meet up again!”

The group boarded the helicopter with Kanye West now part of their quest. Once seated Oak handed him one of the headphone cases that Ariana and Scooter declined to accept earlier, he explained how it worked. Kim Kardashian West stood beside her kids as the helicopter lifted into the air. They waved back at the helicopter as it turned and headed for downtown LA to meet Carl Lyle Lawyer’s friend Banksy, not THE Banksy, just a dude that works for a bank called ‘A Private Bank’ who just happened to also coincidentally be named Banksy. The plan was to rendezvous with Billie and her brother in order to hand off the flash drive just after the red carpet and then to sneak Kanye into the event. What could possibly go wrong?

#knockknock #whosthere #interuptingkanye #yummy

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blckb3ar · 5 years ago

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1-50 binch

You just better answer all of them too 😤

1. I would have sex with one of my closer friends only because I feel like we have a good connection and if I were straight and if we had sex, we would have an even greater one.

2. The most unusual place I’ve masturbated has been in a moving car or a school bathroom and I don’t think I’ve ever given head or received head in an unusual place tbfh

3. Sex? What’s that?

4. If I’m getting my dick sucked, I would prefer if the person was laying on their stomach or if we were in a 69 position. To get my ass ate, ummm It’s hard to explain 🤣

5. I am a SUCKER for missionary, but I also like doggy even tho I feel like both are seen as typical or basic

6. N/A

7. Neck grabbing, lip tugging, grabbing my thighs or something I don’t know 😭

8. I don’t knoooow 😭

9. I don’t know! I would love to have sex in public (does that count as a fantasy?)

10. I would want to be fucked by a furry. That’s hot nnnn

11. I’d rather have sex in the bathroom of a fancy restaurant because I’d feel like it’s so much more exciting

12. Feet. I will never ever ever ever ever suck or lick feet/toes. I might kiss them (a pec) but that’s about it

13. Probably once or twice every couple of days if I’m not working/in school

14. No and THANK GOD

15. No music. I honestly don’t care for music to be on during sex, I would rather the TV be on

16. I would love if my boyfriend came in me, on me. Tbh I don’t really care

17. They can be boring

18. Loves it. Anal sex to me feels good but I also know that there are more than one way (anal) for gays to have sex 😭

19. This is a weird question but to be honest I have never came on myself... but definitely shoots depending on how good the orgasm is OR how long I’ve waited to orgasm if that makes any sense

20. Nope. Never tasted myself ever

21. Am I vocal? I would say so tbfh

22. Rough sex is great even though I’ve never had it.

23. Hmm yes. Never done it, but I would hope it would be a great experience for both of us

24. I like sexting. I just feel like it’s awkward sometimes because I never know what to really say or know if the person I’m sending is really into it. 😭 but it’s great for LDRs

25. Thighs, legs, lips, dick, stomach - basically their whole body LMFAO

26. No

27. Thighs, ass, lips, nipples, dick(obvs), annnnnnddddd ears

28. Touch on me? Talk dirty?

29. I would probably say touching/rubbing on them?

30. When gays act like it’s the end of the world to get shit on their dick or they shame their partner for getting shit on them by mistake. It’s so unnecessary because are we going to act like you’re not fucking something shit comes out of? Smh annoying

31. Like a nerd (a stereotypical one.) They’re so sexy to me 😭

32. I honestly don’t know

33. I... have never been called a pet name during sex so I’m gonna say I would like to be called babe? I don’t really know honestly 😭

34. No. Everyone I’ve ever had penetrated sex with has been with someone I had feelings for/talked to for a while. BUT I’ve only given head to one person that I’ve never fucked, soooo no.

35. That my ass is fat? I have long legs? I don’t really know (again) LMFAO

36. It doesn’t really matter to me

37. So I’m fat. One time this person tried to put my legs on top of their shoulders and I farted 😭 it wasn’t awkward because I was dating them and we obviously built up a level of trust there but it was just funny 😭 thank god it did not stink though LMFAO

38. I like flaccid pics honestly. They’re so fuckin hot to me. If they were going to send me a video, I would like it if they were moaning in it or something. That straight silence shit is so weird to me 😭

39. A groaner for sure

40. Underrated! “Vanilla” sex is awesome

41. To be honest I don’t remember 😭

42. YES

43. I would never want to see my partner have sex with someone else and I physically see it. That would break my heart omfg

44. Giving, of course

45. YES!1!1! Commando >>>>

46. N/A

47. N/A

48. Nope, don’t own any sex toys. I don’t want any right now actually

49. And nope :(

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fimblvtr · 8 years ago

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50 - 100 >:) my boi

Boi if I gotta do all 50 you gotta do 1-50 fuckin fight me

what was the last text you sent? “If we ever get the chance to, I really wanna take pics with you someday too”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Like 9 I think and then I turned around and ruined it for my best friend lmao

what is your dream car? Honestly I always thought Mclaren’s were pretty dope but probably an all black BMW i8

opinion on smoking? Weed is a-ok but keep your cigs away from me tbh

do you go to college? Not for a few years now but I plan to go back.... eventually

what is your dream job? Youtuber or content creator of some sort, or something in gaming

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs honestly. Townhouses are a lot less to manage than full sized houses

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Nah but I always forget to bring mine so I do use them

do you have freckles? used to??? Now I just have them big ol’ freckles randomly on my arms and jazz

do you smile for pictures? Mainly make meme faces

how many pictures do you have on your phone? Im too lazy to check exactly but a few hundred at least? Im pretty good at moving them off my phone and onto my computer

have you ever peed in the woods? Yeah lmao

do you still watch cartoons? I watched GF and Svtfoe but thats been it

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Wendy’s wtf kind of question is that?

Favorite dipping sauce? spicy barbaque sauces cause I like my mouth to burn

what do you wear to bed? Usually just underwear and a tanktop

have you ever won a spelling bee? never even participated in one

what are your hobbies? Guitar and music in general, cosplay, gaming. Also like reading but I havent sat down and read a book in AGES

can you draw? nah

do you play an instrument? Guitar, some self taught piano, vocals of multiple sorts

what was the last concert you saw? Suicide Silence, Whitechapel, Despised Icon, Carnifex, Oceano, and my friends that opened for the show

tea or coffee? Depends, but usually tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks cause Im basic

do you want to get married? For financial reasons sure but otherwise it doesnt appeal to me right now

what is your crush’s first and last initial? You cant call me out on this one haha its a sECRET

are you going to change your last name when you get married? I dont know. Ive thought about changing my last name back to my original one just in general though (long story)

what color looks best on you? Black (obv), and probably green or red I’d say

do you miss anyone right now? Yeah all the time

do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed

do you believe in ghosts? Yeah dude spooky shit

what is your biggest pet peeve? bad hygiene/chewing with mouth open

last person you called?`Work lmao

favorite ice cream flavor? cookie dough

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular wtf

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate

what shirt are you wearing?my Fallujah tank top

what is your phone background? Atlas Giorno

are you outgoing or shy? a terrible mix of both

do you like it when people play with your hair? yEEAAAAAS

do you like your neighbors? Dont know them

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Night

have you ever been high? Yeah boi

have you ever been drunk? yEE BOI

last thing you ate? Ruffles.......

favorite lyrics right now “I can see the eyes bearing from the fire insideAll of my demons try to drag me down to hellI am the master of my own way out“

summer or winter? .....summer

day or night? NIGHT

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Dark or gtfo

favorite month? Probably either may or september cause its not too hot out but its getting cold again quite yet

what is your zodiac sign? Virgo

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