#IDK HOW IM GONNA FUCKING SURVIVE
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in other news… I SEE LOUIS IN TWO WEEK I SEE LOUIS IN TWO WEEKS I SEE LOUIS IN TWO WEEKS I SEE LOUIS MOTHERFUCKING TOMLINSON THE LOVE AND LIGHT OF MY LIFE IN TWO FUCKING WEEKS !!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#needless to say#IDK HOW IM GONNA FUCKING SURVIVE#LIKE THIS MAN IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME#AND HE’LL ALSO BE THE REASON I COME BACK TO LIFE#ISTG#IF HE PULLS ANYTHING LIKE TONIGHT’S SHOW#I WILL BE GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST LIKE HAVE THE PARAMEDICS READY KAJCNSKSNF#two weeks and i’ll be home ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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Uuuughhhhh wait fuck this summer is gonna end up having. Like a shit ton to do isn't it.
#gotta work on learning how to drive#put together a photo coffee table book w/ my dad to see#sell* somehwere#possibly write shit#possiblu try and do my GED so high-school doesnt matter#and also be a person#awe fuck wait and i have to fvuking volunteer!!!#....... yeah idk if im gonna survive summer 2025#enea rambles <3
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Elden Ring self-insert~ complete with study of what items I’m currently carrying, and my ever-chronic tendency of getting fucking lost… magic horse-goat must be so fed up with my navigation skills by now he’s gonna buck me off
#elden ring#self portrait#elden ring self insert#most useless protag-chan to ever protag#i like ran into one of those nighttime horsemen bosses#only reason i survived was because id panicked in the direction of the ogre spawn area#who trashed him while i was shaking in a bush#fucking terrifying lemme tell you#idk how im gonna finish this game xD
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NOBODY MOVE I'M HAVING POSITIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MORDRED AND ATLAS.
#they finally talk. mordred tells his big brother that 'once upon a time i was supposed to stop breathing before i hit my teens.'#he tells him everything about knowing when his death day passed about the nightmares and the confusion and the agoraphobia#he tells him about his insecurities and his self-hatred -- how terribly must he have fucked up to not even be worthy of dying?#he tells him he's scared and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with all this....life.#and atlas is THERE and he hugs him and he's so fucking relieved that - whatever his brother was meant for - he survived.#he hugs his little brother and tells him its okay to be scared because no one really knows what theyre doing with their lives#he holds his face between his hands and god when did mordred get so big?#''all you have to do is KEEP living okay? that's what you do with life: you live it.''#its not exactly poetry but it IS what mordred needs to hear#ive been thinking A Lot about mordred making an appearance in the searching but idk for sure yet#i just need to figure out WHEN this conversation happens so i can wrap up mordreds arc the way he deserves#i think im gonna try patching his and atlas's relationship across the second and third book#like atlas is HOME and then he's not and mordred is bitter but then- a letter. atlas has written to him.#and he keeps writing. bc he knows now what it is to lose someone and he doesnt want to lose his brother#so they're pen pals!! and it's stiff and formal and awkward and slow going but eventually they're exchanging gossip and venting and.#aaaa#happy lavore content wow look at me go#lavore brothers#mordred lavore#atlas lavore
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Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.
You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.
#i hate that i let that get to me lmao just ruined my fucking day ive been sitting here sobbing for like an hour#i cant tell anyone just how much i dont even want to try any more bc i dont see the point#medical issues and mental issues dont pair well and i dunno if im even gonna be able to survive the next flare up#i dont need fandom spaces telling me to die when im already telling myself that every fucking day#also why does my age always get brought up lmao i didnt choose to be born 30 years ago stop telling me im old#my body has been telling me im old since age 11 you dont know what ive fucking been thru#30 was just a formality and serves as another reminder of how ill never meet societys expectations for a 30yo lmao#my point is. you should try showing a little more kindness if telling someone to die comes so easily#ive literally never once told anyone to die in my life. you just dont fucking go there. what if they kill themself right after that?#can you live knowing they did so on your command?#i couldnt#thats just like beyond fucked up#anyway im gonna go try and stop crying#ill prob stay off tumblr today idk i feel real sick lol#delete later / /#i hate that i cant exist as myself either in person (too queer and closeted in a rural area) or online (too queer and weird ships)#anyway
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#that's 2 of 3 partys in my moms honor down. this one was our childhood neighbor friends#which it was really good to see them but it was really just a party. no one really talked about her at all. the subject was avoided#i think bc ppl r awkward abt it. like im fine to talk abt it. it happened. i dont see a point in avoiding it#but im also not the most socially adept. which i did pretty good talking to ppl but i was still the most awkward one there#and idk this experience has really taught me that u should have a lot of friends and a spouse bc i dont kno how a person like me could go#thru what my mom did and survive if i didnt have my dad. so i guess i have to con someone into marrying me#id b difficult to marry. im difficult to b friends with. im too avoidant of any people#im gonna die like that lady from 6 feet under with no friends. like a fridge fell on her or something. idk#but i cant die bc my dad cant go thru this again. i dunno. well see what life throws at me#also. my childhood friends r a lot of real smart ppl. like a lot of engineers and medical doctors#they make me feel so dumb. but alas. im but a humble environmental Science person#ay. i dunno. it was fun but im drained#and my cousings boyfriend is still a fucking freak who harasses animals. he really upset one of our dogs#my sister says she can imagine him murdering someone and tbh so could i. so i hope my cousins safe#unrelated
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no fucking way im venting abt my friend overtaking my minecraft build. am i a toddler
#it was MYYYY HERMIT CRAB#hes an architect so ofc all he did was improve it. while i just wandered aimlessly#and ofc it looks amazing now but like. it doesnt feel like my hermit crab anymore :o(#he didnt really ask permission before starting but he also asked me like 3 times if i was ok with him ''helping''#like how tf am i supposed to say no the fuck 😭#i think it just annoyed me so much because he was in creative mode while everything i had been doing was hours of survival mode#so. idk. just gonna sit and sulk for a bit#vent#< i cant believe i have a vent post about MINEY CRAFTA#ill get over it im just gonna retreat to club penguin where no one can bother me
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I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re very young and aren’t deliberating spreading misinformation about how the US branches of government work. The president does not have ANY say in Supreme Court decisions. The president belongs to the executive branch of government. The Supreme Court belongs to the judicial branch. The only influence the executive branch has on the Supreme Court is if/when the president gets the opportunity to appoint a new justice, which only occurs when a current justice dies or steps down. Those appointments from the president’s office need Senate approval before a justice can be confirmed to the court.
The US currently has a conservative majority on the court: there are nine justices total with six being conservative — three of them were appointed by Trump due to vacancies that occurred during his administration* (technically one vacancy occurred under Obama, but the conservative-majority Senate at that time blocked his nominees until he left office, meaning Trump was in a position to fill that vacancy. Hm, almost as though voting does in fact matter because of how our branches of government are designed, and Democratic presidents alone can’t achieve unilateral change!).
I understand the frustration with the state of the country right now, but acting like Biden is a king with unprecedented power over the judicial and legislative branches is dangerously out of touch with the reality of how this country works. Although ironically, Trump and his allies plan to redistribute power into the executive branch when he takes office by minimizing the power of the legislative and judicial branches (see Project 2025). If Project 2025 comes to fruition, the executive branch WOULD have king-like power, which is what The US Constitution was written to avoid. I recommend learning about the limits and parameters of presidential power before you “voting is useless” your way into handing absolute power to Trump.
im not gonna respond to very much of this, except to say that i'm almost certainly older than you, and also it's funny for you to be like "Biden isnt a king and doesnt have absolute power, there's nothing he can do about the supreme court. but Trump will have absolute power". which one is it? is the president important or not? also, you people all say that the democrats will be better than the republicans. where's the proof of that? what have they done for anyone? commit genocide?
#i was gonna say my age was in my bio but i guess its not anymore#im 28#i mean idk maybe youre 35 and still using tumblr who knows but#when i say things... however they might sound to you... i mean them. these are not opinions im coming to based on nothing#i remember 2016 and i voted in that election. i voted in 2020 too. and look where those moments got us#leftists have been telling you that biden is a piece of shit racist and fascist for fucking 8 years and nobody has listened#am i supposed to feel bad for the democrats and hope that they get in power? i dont want that#i dont want republicans in power either. i dont want power to exist at all#i can see how something like that may make me sound juvenile#but if you can believe it... these are genuine beliefs and political opinions i have#are they realistic? well no obviously fucking not. i know that. but we all have north stars we point towards#i am not going to vote for biden. if the democrats want to win... they should get someone else.#even if i did vote for biden... he's not gonna win. they should get someone who will.#nobody is handing absolute power to trump more than the democrats who seem hellbent on losing#not that biden is surviving to the election anyway. he's on death's door
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#uh.... LOL so yada yada yada u know what im gonna talk about JDJDJD GOD HELP ME#i just realized........... that u know. usually on the 15th (bc timezones) im like super hype bc sjs birthday#but LMAO........ i so happen to be seeing.... my .... crusheroo on that day so Zjxjdjkdkdkd HOW LIFE CHANGES WOW#i didnt realize til i saw a bday (old) set of sj n i was like WAIT FUCK DID I MISS HIS BDAY. ONLY TO REALIZE. IT WAS THE SAME DAY....#hhhh but god. ya i did it. i survived a whole month without seeing him. but like bc we message or whatever occasionally (and my#frequent daydreaming lets be real) it didnt feel that long !!! wow !! proud !!@#like realistically i knew i could do it bc i went like. 4 months without seeing him JDJJDJDJDJD#god imagine. i spent the whole summer trying to get over him. only to see him 1 time n have everything come back#but WORSE. BC. RECIPROCATION?????????#god lmao. feel like im never gonna be over this. feel like i could even be married to him everyday n id be like WOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN????#shits so weird idk. idk. im just NDJJDJDJDJD HOW DO WE GET TO THE NEXT STEP#BUT AT THE SAME TIME. I SHOULD GET TO KNOW HIM BETTER. GOD ITS SO DJFJFKKFKDKDKDKKD#like this is what its like to really like someone huh. all those other crushes i had were like.... a 0 in comparison#like wtf is this. when everyone else had crushes and liked ppl is This what they meant. jfc#idk if i could go thru this again JDJDJJDJDJD. hope hes it. ya#id promise to save everyone n never talk about this again but we both know thats not gonna happen ANDNDNDNDND#personal
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Dude some areas are saying their estimate of when they'll have power again is a fucking WEEK away 😩 I'd honestly fucking die. Like it took EVERYTHING in me to not kms when the power was out for 4 days out of an expected 5. And that was in the early springtime so while we were cold, we were okay
85 degrees and MUGGAY today oh and it's gonna rain again
#im very grateful that the tornado didnt form til the storm was juuuust east of us but also i feel so fucking sad#like when things like this happen and i get survivors guilt i dont think like 'oh well at the very least i should be grateful it didn't#happen to me' no my brain goes '[all that] ... YET.' like i know inevitably im gonna be in a loss of power for a week situation knowing how#fucked up the power grid is and climate change so i dont feel like i can rest and relax like well it didnt happen to us better not think ab#it! bc with my shitty luck if i say something like that out loud it WILL happen to us for sure now soon#any ways im really sad bc it just feels unfathomable just bc it was so close like just a few cities away like god that couldve been us#my coworker lost his whole roof and a tree landed in his bathroom#like i think that would break me honestly like idk how many life changing events i can survive without killing myself...#like i keep telling God i aint Job! i WILL kms! don't fucking taunt me fucker!#anyway anyway idk where im going with this#marquilla
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AND DONT even get me started on how auston matthews sees going to a raps game like once a year with someone as a Tradition™ ...... like. then what do your little rituals and routines with someone mean.... things you do weekly... daily......... how ingrained are they in your heart...... what would you ever do if you had to change THAT....
#losing ur shit bc one of ur guys cant go to a basketball game with u ONCE vs.#imagine him losing that....#some people are more than teammates i think.#there are a couple of ppl i think could be taken off this team that would affect him n make him sad.. but like he survived bunts departure#theres only one i would straight up be like. idk..... idk how he could take that lol.. WHAT WOULD IT DO!!!#i love to be in pain and think of it and then think abt how its never gonna happen and actually#they will retire together n their numbers will be retired together n they will be the era defining duo#incredible.#im losing my fucking mind lol#1634#anyway.#they are so profound. the most profound.
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vent //
ive cried like five separate times cleaning my room today dudes i think im not fit to live anymore
#xanvents#writing AAAs to separate vent tags from the tags seen on the actual post thing hold on#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ok hopefully that works so that no one has to see my vent if they dont want to#anyway#if i cant do something as simple as clean my fucking room how am i gonna survive in a house by myself for 50+ years once i move out#im not! thats why!!#im physically incapable of having a positive mindset about anything and it shows and im sorry i cant do it and i cant be perfect#and im sorry and ill post art soon i just have to have the will to live again#which idk how long thatll take
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GETO LOOKS SO PRETTY HOW ARE U COPING
IM NOT !!!!!
#Im losing my mind idk how im gonna get thru this season without going insane#gege’s making sure none of us survive#no bc literally what the fuck am I supposed to do with 18 fucking shibuya episodes#eronanon
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horrible day. had to do work at my job
#i mean it was mostly training so it wasnt that bad#but im so fucking tired#idk how im gonna survive when i gotta do actual work.....#anyway im gonna make gifs now#vinnie talks
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#i know crying is good#im always an advocate for crying#it's healthy it's helpful it's healing#but i do NOT want to cry again ffs#i think ive cried 2-3 times since Friday? Saturday? idek. nearly once a day at least#im exhausted. I don't wanna cry again.#ive been on survival mode for so fucking long and i genuinely don't know how to keep going#I feel like im just gonna. shut down soon.#i'll still be here#but I'll be an apathetic shell#ive been there before and i really don't want to be there again#but idk how else to keep going#and i hate everything about this because this is how my mother gets through each day#and i don't want to do that#so idk maybe i need to keep crying#because as exhausting as it is#at least I'm feeling something and im reacting to something#fuuuuuuck#☉#tbd
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