i keep thinking about like. how the brutality levels vary between seasons and how secret life is the natural culmination of everything these people have been through and the watchers pushing everything to extremes. i’m going to try to articulate how crazy this makes me
3rd Life: god. 3rd life was a clear cut war. we haven’t seen a season since where nearly everyone has such an intense devotion to their chosen faction. the fact that there’s no precedent that they’re coming back next season, the fact that as far as they know, dying means staying dead, makes just how much they’re willing to go down with the ship that much more heartbreaking. grian ended the season exactly how it was played by damn near everyone else— i love you, i would do anything for you, i would rather die than keep going without you. the season of widows.
Last Life: and then they come back. and then ending things isn’t an option. and all of a sudden it’s not a war, it’s a death match, and damn is the competition is vicious. deaths are more often than not a vague, impersonal thing— not get away from my king, my husband, my charge— just the flash of a knife and a quick sorry, just playing the game! if 3rd life told you to hold the ones you love close, defend them to your last breath, last life urges you to burn that love out of your chest entirely.
Double Life: but everything slows down eventually. no more dying for the one you love— just learning to live with them. double life is about knowing that when you die, you will go together, hand and hand into the dark. a soap opera, the players joke. a small kindness, the universe replies. again, pearl wins the same way everyone else lost— no, not yet, please, just give us a little longer together, i’m not ready, i’m so sorry—
Limited Life: but the clock, unyielding, ticks ever onward. and god, everyone is starting to feel it. that sick, nauseating feeling of dread creeping up on them: what if it never ends? what if this is it, this is all that’s left for us— tearing each other apart over and over and over again, and for what? for a show? to feed those hungry things lurking in the dark? we’ll give them a show. bombs rain from the sky, the world shaking under the weight of it. there isn’t a thing left by the end that’s not rubble. we’re all doomed! the players cry, laughing with nothing but nihilistic, unrestrained joy. none of it matters! we come back again, and again, and again, have a little fun with it! light the fuse, collateral be damned. when death means so little, what’s the point in pretending they don’t take a little joy in it? we settle this like grian and scar before us, scott jokes, armor and weapons tossed to the side. are you insane? martyn thinks, remembering the hollow look that would wash over grian’s face when he thought no one was watching. it ruined him. it will not ruin me. this is a death match for a reason.
Secret Life: and here it is. the natural conclusion. this season is candy colored, the map dotted with cute pink houses and silly builds, the players all running around doing these ridiculous tasks. it’s so easy to forget how bloody this season was. unclosing wounds, bruises that don’t fade, the sting of fire or falling from a simple misstep. the hurt never goes away, but it gets easier to ignore— distract yourself with something silly to pass the time: spyglasses and frogs and the ugliest house you’ve ever seen and matching leather jackets and the doghouse and the relationSHIP and a weird tunnel full of doors and secret soulmates and god it’s almost, almost, enough to forget how much it all aches, how much the grief weighs on you, how many times someone you love has died, sometimes to your own blade. almost none of the grudges you hold are real by now, not really. not when you’re going to live and die with these people for as long as the hungry, many-eyed things delight in your suffering. you love each other, in the strangest way— sure you’ve all killed and betrayed each other in a thousand different ways, but at the end of the day, they’re all you have. clinging to each other in the face of the vast, unknowable horrors that drive you to slash each other to pieces. it’s still a game, after all. they’ve gotta figure out how to be good sports about it eventually.
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Hi I love your writing!! I wish I had that talent. I was wondering if you have any thoughts of what happened next after Omega Daniel and Baby Alpha Max mated
anon you are very sweet! for you, i hope you like it
When Daniel woke up in his Singapore hotel room, every inch of him was throbbing. His head, his thighs, his fucking hole. His neck. He'd wanted to get up, to tugs the curtains the rest of the way closed so the the evil sliver of sunlight bathing his face would disapear, but he couldn't. Half lying on top of him, Max's hands were covering his skin possessively, one on his tit and one low on his stomach, fingers splayed wide.
This is still nice, a treterous part of Daniel's brain had told him.
Then, Max had looked up at him to smile, letting Daniel see the dried blood at the corner of his mouth, and he'd realised how fucked they both were.
---
"You are angry at me," Max says for the sixth time since they boarded the plane. Max's plane, his new and flashy private charter that Daniel had teased him for being a poor attempt of an omega magnet.
God.
He'd pushed Max off him in the bed earlier, shoved his clothes towards him a little harder than necessary with shaking hands and told him to go and wash his face. Standing behind him in the mirror, Daniel had inspected his own neck, and yes- They were fucked.
Fucked, fucked, fucked.
Now, he supresses a sigh, and like, the urge to jump out of the emergency exit.
"I'm not angry," he promises, also for the sixth time, not looking up from where he's organising his intently Spotify playlists. "I'm just focusing. You know I have TuPac and Lana Del Ray in the same playlist right now? A tradegy."
He wishes he could actually listen to the music, but his stupid headphones are stuffed into his bag, out of battery.
"I do not know who either of those people are." Max says, and Daniel can hear the scowl on his face without having to see it, but now he can like, smell it. Max's annoyance, the way his scent gets all sour.
Right, he let Red Bulls golden boy mate him. Christian is going to murder him, and then Helmut is going to dance on his grave.
Still, Max's statement is ridiculous enough to have him momentarily distracted from his bouncing leg, and the impending sense of doom.
"Come on Maxy," he says, looking up in dismay. TuPac is a little before Max's time, but he can't be mated to someone who doesn't know who Lana Del Ray is. It's just- No.
He bursts into an over dramatic crooning of Video Games, just to punish him a little for his ignorance.
"Daniel," Max says, and then with his serious face finally melting into softness as he starts giggling, he scootches closer to Daniel on the seat. "Daniel, I am of course trying to be serious. I did not mean to."
That has Daniel's song fading into silence.
There's a moment where Daniel realises how he could play this and probably get away without so much as one bad word from Christian, but- Even though it would be easy, it's not fair, to Max. To lay the entirety of this shit sandwich at his doorstop.
"I know," he says honestly, keeping his eyes fixed now on where he's flipping his phone over and over in his hand. "It- Look, it's not like I stopped you. It's not- It's not like I didn't want it too, maybe."
For a moment, Max says nothing as the recycled air in cabin starts to get sweeter.
"Yeah?"
When he speaks, his voice sounds tentatively hopeful, and it tugs at something in Daniel's chest.
"Yeah," he promises, and on a whim, he lifts his arm for Max to curl underneath.
---
Max follows Daniel to his apartment.
Daniel opens his mouth to ask Max if he's lost, to remind him his apartment is two floors up but-
"What movie should we watch?" Max asks, already toeing his shoes off at the door like a good boy. "Martin told me about this very funny one and I thought you would like it. I will get him to text me the name. What do you want for dinner, also?"
Daniel closes his mouth, hand coming up to rub through the curls sitting at the nape of his neck. He needs a haircut.
"You're, ah- You're staying?" He eventually asks, following Max to where he's sat himself down on the sofa and started fluffing up the pillows next to him- presumably the ones he wants Daniel to sit on.
"Of course," Max says, looking up from his handy work, pleased. Then, "on the plane, Daniel, you said you wanted this too. And you are my omega now, so of course, I want to be here with you."
Daniel nods. "Right."
Max gets up from the sofa when Daniel doesn't move any closer, comes to stand in front of Daniel, and takes both of his hands in his.
"I know I am young," he says, so earnest, and Jos Verstappen's horrified face flashes in Daniel's mind for a split second before disappearing. "Probably you think I will be bad, but I- I want to try. To be good. A good mate."
He leans in then and kisses Daniel. It's nothing like the eager, clumsy kisses of the night before, it's just- Soft. The way you'd kiss somebody if you loved them.
"I wanted you for a really long time," Max admits, like a secret against Daniel's lips when he pulls back, and Daniel supposes Max thought it was. He probably didn't realise he had a crush that could be seen from outer space, if he couldn't see Daniel had one right back.
---
"Me too, Maxy," he says and kisses him again, because this close to Max it's impossible not to. It shouldn't feel this good, shouldn't make something tight in Daniel's chest uncoil, but it does. "Alright. Alright, fuck it, lets- Let's do it."
They made their bed, it might be nice to try lying in it.
"I am coming up."
They're sat in Daniel's car, the one he drives when he's in England, parked in front of the Red Bull Factory. Typical to British weather, it's raining, big fat dropplets of water spalttering against the windshield, falling from a grey sky.
"Max, it's okay," Daniel says, leaning across the gear shift to touch his knee. "I can tell him on my own."
Daniel is the one who should have known better and told Christian no in the first place. Except-
Since Singapore, since them, they've not spent a night apart. It's been some of the best sex of Daniel's life, followed by the best nights of sleep he's had all season. Like something inside him knows he's safe. This isn't what they planned, but no matter what Christian says, neither of them are giving it up.
Lifting his other hand, Max touches proudly at the mark on Daniel's neck. He has a matching one now, on his tit because Daniel is who he is, and because Max had shyly asked for it 'over my heart.'
"I am coming with you," Max says again, firmer. He takes Daniel's hand and it makes him shiver. "Daniel, you are not on your own, not anymore."
"Alright," Daniel relents, nodding. He's still getting used to it too, having an alpha, but also just having someone who wants to take care of him. "But you can't let him chew me out, okay?"
Max's eyes narrow, his expression turning dark.
"Like he would dare," he mutters but it just makes Daniel laugh, scrubbing a hand through Max's hair roughly.
"Easy tiger," he says, because this thing is something they're both still learning but- Together. They can do it together. "I need me, my alpha and my boss all in one piece if that's alright by you."
The clouds from Max's expression cleared, a sunshine smile taking over his face.
"Your alpha?" He repeated, smugly.
"Yeah, yeah," Daniel said, opening the car door but unable to hold back his own grin. "Get in the building Verstappen, before I kick your ass up the stairs myself."
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