#he would have failed at a later stage because this implies he kills anyone who actually likes him

[mohntilyet]

To be fair to "illario is bad at lying" I don't think he had a contingency plan for "my cousin who I tried to have murdered came back after a whole year of being tortured in an underwater prison by the lady I've been sleeping with and he's an abomination now, also I have to pretend my grandma got murdered." His plan got monumentally fucked up

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIINNGGG. no matter how good or bad you are, i do not seriously think there’s a way to prepare for all that and then execute a follow up plan that’s not just “oh fuck i gotta do something” i think. of course this could have been avoided if he just killed lucanis himself but i like to think he has a heart in there

[chocoholicannanymous]

Gonna Come True (Glee)

AN: This is a follow-up to There's a Miracle Due which was written for the Glee Twistfest, “What if Mercedes & Kurt got Maria & Tony?” back in 2014 (yikes). I had the storyline for this already back then (hello, all of three lines in a document), it's just taken me until now to actually write it. 

For @krummavisur who wanted it.

Thanks to @elledelajoie for looking it over .

The title is taken from “Something Coming”, West Side Story.

Oh, and I am not trying to follow any kind of canon time-line. Just, go with it.

Gonna Come True

Kurt throws himself into preparing for West Side Story with an energy that makes Mercedes envious. She understands though – he doesn't feel like he got the role honestly, which is bullshit, but. He still thinks he needs to prove himself. In her eyes he did so during his audition, and it's everyone else who needs to prove themselves to him, but he doesn't see it that way. Years of Lima bullshit stops him from seeing it.

He doesn't drop out of the race for senior class president though, not even when he's complaining about balancing that with Tony and school and Blaine. She asks him why and gets an answer she should have expected.

“At first this was about getting at least something on my resume. But that's not it any longer. I'm running as a reminder that bullying is a problem at this school, and that something needs to be done. If I win – and I don't expect to, not here – then I have a shot at making the administration do something. If I lose I still raise awareness. Every time I speak about my agenda I force the people listening to remember that bullying is an issue, that bullying kills, and that it is not okay.

“That's worth losing a little sleep.”

Mercedes's heart swells at hearing her boo speak so passionately about it, and it breaks as she hears an angry Santana tell Brittany that she should run against Kurt.

Kurt who is currently pulling down unicorn posters around the school while pushing back tears.

She waits until Brittany walks away before cornering Santana.

“We need to talk. What you just told Brit? That's a shit thing to do.”

Santana starts to argue, all fire, and under other circumstances Mercedes would admire her willingness to go to bat for her girl, but not now.

“No. Don't you dare. Do you know why Kurt is so upset over those posters? It's because to him they represent everything that he's been bullied over. And that? Has a lot to do with you. You have been sitting in the choir room for two years, mocking him for what he likes and for who he is.

“So here we are. Him running on an anti-bullying platform, and your girlfriend plastering the school with posters reminding him of exactly that bullying. Do I really need to explain to you why it is that when Kurt looks at those posters he doesn't see Brit's intentions, her meaning – he sees your bullying.”

Mercedes sees her words are hitting home, even if Santana is putting up a good front.

“Oh, and Santana? When you mock Kurt for being gay it makes you a hypocrite. But when you mock him for being 'girly'? It's even worse. Because when you say that there's something wrong with being like a girl, you're implying that there's something wrong with being a girl. And I'm not okay with that.

“Now, you are going to go back to Brit and tell her exactly what happened here, and you're going to make sure that she forgets all about running against him. He's had enough of his so-called friends doing that, I'd think.

“I'm not saying this – any of this – to be mean. I'm trying to be a good friend, to Kurt and to you. But make no mistake. You ruin this for Kurt? I'll ruin you.”

Mercedes might not be popular like a cheerleader, but she's got friends and she's got contacts outside of school. Her threat's not an empty one, and Santana knows it.

Her phone's ringing. There's something hitting her window, and her phone's ringing. At half past eleven on a school night.

Whoever it is, Mercedes is going to cut them.

Except it's Kurt, and he's not looking right.

As she lets him in through the back-door Mercedes notices the wrinkled clothes and the mussed hair that doesn't fit with a night of dancing. More making out, but Kurt doesn't have that well-kissed look. Plus, he's pale and shaky.

Something's wrong.

It takes her a long time to coax the story out of him, about Blaine trying to rape him. Except when she says that Kurt denies it, vehemently.

“Are you serious right now? Are you defending him? No! Okay? No. Hell no even.

“Look, if I showed up at your place and told you Shane had pulled me into the backseat of a car, had tried to get my clothes off and wouldn't stop touching me even though I said no, what would you tell me? Would you tell me it was okay because we're dating? That he's allowed to do that because I'm in love with him and he treats me good the rest of the time? Would you tell me to suck it up and forgive him?

“Would you explain away that and tell me that if he won't respect my 'no' the solution is to say 'yes' instead?”

Kurt's even paler now, his eyes blown and unfocused. He doesn't say anything though. Instead he just whimpers and rushes out to the bathroom.

When he comes back he's regained some color. He still looks like shit though. Mercedes pulls out some comfortable clothes that were bought for her brother, but got conscripted as backup for unplanned Kurt-visits, and leaves him to change while she gets them some chamomile tea.

Later, as the lights are out and they're curled up together, trying to get what rest they can Kurt whispers: “I'm going to have to break up with him, aren't I?”

She holds him as he cries himself to sleep.

The next day Kurt pretends like nothing's happened. He doesn't want to rock the boat before the West Side Story premiere, he says, or deal with the bitchfit Rachel would throw. “I'll do it after the final performance on Sunday” he promises, and Mercedes doesn't have it in her to push him. Not with the memory of his tears so fresh.

Dress rehearsal that night goes well, right up to the point where Artie comes to talk to them after. They need more fire, more passion, he claims and then proceeds to tell them that they should hurry up and have sex before their first show so they can portray lovers more believably. Oh, he doesn't put it quite like that, but it's pretty obvious that's what he means.

Mercedes is stunned at first, and then furious. She's surprised that Kurt's not ripping into him, with everything, and oh. Hell no.

“Are you telling me to have sex to improve the show you're directing? Really? How about you get some classes or something, to improve your part? You know, instead of sexually harassing me.”

Artie sputters out what's probably meant as a denial, but she just talks right over him.

“If you as much as breathe about this again, to anyone, I will report you. And then my mama will go have a talk with your parents about how they've failed at raising you to be a decent human being.

“Do you get me?”

He nods quickly, mumbles something and makes a hasty retreat. Just as he goes out the door Kurt's voice rings out, cold.

“And to think I remember a boy who grieved that his first time wasn't romantic enough. I wonder what he would think of you now.”

Artie doesn't say anything, or slow down, but he slumps a little in his chair as the barb hits home. Mercedes shifts her attention to Kurt and sees pale skin, rigid posture and shaky hands. He's thinking the same thing she is.

“Boo...”

“No, 'Cedes, please. Let's not speculate about whether or not he had that speech with the others first. I can't, not now.”

So she lets it go. For now.

Mercedes is on stage for the opening show Friday night along with Kurt. Not in the spotlight, sure, but still there. She can't help but compare Rachel and Blaine's performance with what she and Kurt can do, and they come up short. Tomorrow night, she thinks. Tomorrow night we're going to show them how it's really done.

She says as much to Kurt as they leave together and he laughs, the first sign of happiness she's heard from him in two days. The laughter dies out soon as he spots a bunch of well-dressed boys waiting outside. She recognizes a few from Kurt's time at Dalton, but not all of them. She'd think it nice of them to come see their friends perform, except judging from Kurt's reaction they're not an entirely welcome sight.

He still greets them politely, smiling that small “company smile” she doesn't like while asking if they remember Mercedes.

“And this,” he says with strained, icy politeness, “is Sebastian Smythe, this year's new transfer to Dalton.”

This then is the reason they're not welcome. Still, she follows Kurt's example and pulls out church manners.

Apparently the boys have been given tickets by Blaine, the tall new boy explains, before trying to needle Kurt.

“So, Officer Krupke? How did that feel, such a...manly role?”

Ouch.

“Oh, you know, it's not about the role, it's what you put into it. And it makes for an interesting contrast to tomorrow and playing Tony. ”

Everyone quiets at that and the mood gets slightly uncomfortable. Trent is about to break the silence, but Sebastian talks right over him.

“Right. Well, we'll have to withhold judgment until after of course, but I'd say you'll have a hard time measuring up to Blaine. And you,” he turns to Mercedes, “are you also playing another role tomorrow? This one's Maria perhaps?”

She nods without explaining, and then listens as the boys stumble over excuses about not knowing exactly who'll be there tomorrow, but “We're sure you'll do great, Kurt!”

Once they're out of sight Kurt sags a little.

“He didn't tell them. He went to Dalton to tell them about the show, and give them tickets, and he didn't tell them I was in it. Didn't tell them I was also playing Tony. They tried to cover it up, but... They were my friends too, and he didn't tell them.”

She loops an arm around his waist and snuggles close.

He deserves so much better.

There's a group of Dalton boys there next evening again, making Kurt smile and Blaine startle. Some are from the evening before, including the sharp Sebastian, some are new. They all applaud enthusiastically, and wait so they can congratulate Kurt on his performance. Mercedes pays extra attention to Sebastian, for some reason, but all he says is “not bad”. It sounds genuine though, and so is Kurt's smile as he nods and thanks the other boy.

Mercedes knows they did better than “not bad”. They were awesome together. She doesn't need to hear it from this reluctant boy though. She's got a better source.

They skip the cast party. Kurt's not eager to be with Blaine, especially since there might be alcohol involved, and Mercedes prefers celebrating with her boyfriend who has been a rock. There's a small sting as Kurt walks away alone, but it slips away as she accepts Shane's flowers and kiss and walks out on his arm.

The next morning Mercedes shows up at the Hummel-Hudson house almost uncomfortably early. She drags a still sleep-tussled Kurt to the dining table and spreads out the Gazette in front of him. It's already open to the right page and she sees exactly when Kurt realizes what she's got.

“You read that, I'll fix breakfast.”

She's brought coffee from home along with juice and fresh croissants from the bakery a block away and a small carton of strawberries. It's a luxury, but it's a well-deserved one. It's the work of no time to put it all out along with cups and plates, and as she does that she hears Kurt's voice rise, reading select paragraphs out loud.

“Rachel Berry's 'Maria' is technically perfect, with the singer hitting every note. Sadly that excellence does not extend to the rest of her performance. Ms Berry fails to provide personality and emotion, and simply put she lacks the ability to bring Maria to life.”

He stops, shakes his head and looks at her.

“Ehm, ouch?”

Yes.

“Blaine Anderson as Tony does not help. Where a better singer and actor could shore up his counterpart Anderson falls flat. 'Flat' is in fact the word that comes to mind most often when seeing and listening to him performing. Anderson fails to hit the notes in several of the songs, and often resorts to what must be described as screaming instead of singing. He lacks the range needed to play Tony, and obviously also the training needed to make up for his shortcomings.

“On the acting side it's equally flat. Anderson's body language and facial expressions are mostly too subtle – or possibly non-existent – to come across from the stage, making it like watching a cardboard cut-out most of the time. On the other hand, when he does come across it's much too exaggerated, making his Tony look like a caricature. (I find myself looking at the playbill to see if this is meant to be a comedic take on this epic show. It's not.)

“Holy shit, 'Cedes!”

Yessssss.

“Finally, the dancing. Here, Anderson does better – most of the time. He clearly favors certain parts of the choreography, and there he does very well. In other parts it is obvious that Anderson lacks either the desire or the ability to perform according to choreography. This shows, as other cast members – including Ms Berry's Maria – often have to adjust their own moves to accommodate Anderson, either because he takes up too much space or because he simply isn't where he is supposed to be.

“Towards the end of the show Anderson also shows a surprising lack of stamina, and almost literally falls flat as he stumbles through some of the steps.

“The rest of the cast...”

Kurt's voice peters off, and he looks at her, stunned. Mercedes only smiles, satisfied.

“You should read on. Really.”

Kurt looks at her with skepticism, but does as she says. She knows exactly when he hits the part she wanted him to see, because he looks up at her, wide-eyed and slightly stunned.

“After this the pair playing Maria and Tony during Saturday's performance – as well as today's matinée – is a pleasant surprise. Mercedes Jones and Kurt Hummel bring our lovers to life in a way that looks more like a professional setup than a high school play. Not only are they both talented singers, but they also manage to communicate the story to the audience and play off each other in a way that lifts the entire show.

“It is noticeable, having seen both sets of performers that like Anderson Jones has some difficulty with the choreography. However the adjustments made to cater to her limitations in no way come off as a lesser version of what Berry performs, and does in fact make her look better than Anderson's attempt at a more complex choreography. Meanwhile Hummel needs no such adjustments and manages to pair vocals with dancing in a truly impressive manner.

“Hummel's vocals could take up an article of its own, and so this reporter will just note that it comes as no surprise that Hummel is pursuing schooling and later a career in performing arts. We are looking forward to seeing him on stage on many more occasions.”

Kurt drops the paper and blinks like an owl.

“Am I dreaming? Did an actual reporter not only attend a West Side Story performance at McKinley to write about it in the Gazette, but they actually went twice?”

“Yeah boo.”

“And they actually wrote that we did better than Rachel and Blaine?”

“Yeah, they did. And they were right, you know. You did so much better than Blaine that he should be embarrassed.”

Kurt blushes a little, then pulls a grimace.

“What?”

“I was just thinking... I've been wondering if breaking up with Blaine over what happened was an overreaction, because...” He meets her eye, and looks away. “Anyway, I'm reading this and instead of being happy for me – for us – I can't help but think that Blaine's going to go ballistic. And that waiting for the show to be over probably wasn't that great of an idea. He's going to expect me to listen to him whine about this.”

Mercedes isn't surprised to hear that Kurt's been considering forgiving his boyfriend. A bit disappointed, sure, but not surprised. He always was more loyal than people deserved. She is surprised that he's being that clear-sighted about Blaine though. That's good. That means he's probably going to follow through.

As if cued Kurt's phone starts buzzing and they both look at the screen. Blaine. Mercedes makes an unhappy face. Kurt... Kurt looks upset and rejects the call before turning the sound off.

“Boo?”

“I am not going to ruin my afterglow by listening to him complain about how no one appreciates him. Not when I'm already going to break up with him. Just, no.

“Instead I'm going to enjoy this lovely breakfast with my gorgeous leading lady, and then I'm going to read that article again and gloat. Oh, and then I'm going out to get myself a couple of extra copies as proof that even in Lima people can see our talent.

“I don't know how you did it, but you, my dear, pulled off a miracle.”

And she has, hasn't she? Not by making someone see and recognize Kurt's talent, though, but by making him smile, wide and open.

That's her miracle, right there.

~ The End ~

[k-s-morgan]

Hi! This isn’t an ask, but more of a rambling that I deemed too long for the comments, that stems from your post claiming Book of Circus as your favourite Black Butler episodes. and to that I say - YES. Book of Murder is a masterpiece. It houses one of my favourite scenes - the one where Sebastian says: "This wasn't a scenario decided by God or fate, but one decided on by my master, with timing decided by my master. I was killed by the criminal expected by my master, by the Hione who came to torment my master", which really captures the essence of whole 'Ciel vs God' dynamic that's woven into the duration of the show.

Throughout the plot, there are three major instances in which an offering is made to Ciel - offerings of redemption. The first is from Angela - a chance to purify himself and have an afterlife - which he so vehemently rejects in the knowledge that he quite literally *is* his darkness, and therefore refuses to rid himself of it.

The second is comes from Abberline in his death, where in his final words he tells Ciel he has a chance to take back his future. And Ciel has to watch him die with the knowledge that he has already made up his mind about his fate. I don't think he's so affected because he regrets selling his soul. I don't think he suddenly wants to live, or no longer wishes for revenge. But I believe the reason he is so affected by Abberline's death is because he holds a sentimentality for him that is not dissimilar to the one he feels for Elizabeth. Ciel is cruel, I don't think he regrets the steps he has taken to get to this point, nor the ones he knows he must take in the future. But though he is cruel, I believe he has a sort of fond curiosity for the untainted goodness that characterises those like Abberline and Elizabeth. Like you said before, he feels condescension towards the man perhaps due to the naivety his blind heroism implies, but I think his attachments to him come from an underlying curiosity to see if such goodness can exist in such a corrupted world - a silent hope to be proven wrong in his cynicism. When Abberline dies, that very hope he didn't even know he had gets shattered. It brings about a sort of forced perspective that makes Ciel question himself in ways we haven't seen before.

Abberline's death had been avoidable and it was certainly in vain. Abberline had died for someone who had already made up his mind - someone who had rejected God once before and would do it time and time again as proven in the anime. Ciel is such an interesting character because, although he is dark, he still values the light and makes some sort of effort to preserve it in spite of the contempt he feels for them. It is the thought of dying in vain that seems to bother him so greatly, not death itself. No, Abberline dying isn't enough for him to want to live again, or to even think about throwing away his revenge - that was never in question. But it is enough to extinguish the lingering flicker of hope he had for humanity (despite being so distanced from term himself).

This, combined with the disappointment he feels at Sebastian's actions, causes the existential haze of uncertainty that leads to the third and final offering. And the most surprising thing is that this offering comes from Sebastian himself. He senses the doubt in Ciel and, like every thought the boy experiences, fails to understand it. He mistakes it for him second-guessing his revenge and decides to discontinue their contract. But he isn't angry - that much is clear. Instead, he wishes him to "forget everything and have pleasant dreams", with a rather wistful expression on his face. What this line ends up reading as is a bittersweet  goodbye from the demon - an offering for Ciel to let go of his revenge and find happiness in the afterlife with his now soon approaching death.  There is almost a strong disappointment in him, but is not resentful of it - Ciel is human and he can't keep expecting him not to be. His offering almost acts as a thank you for the moments of excitement their contract had given his monotone life and I believe that is why he makes it.

He sticks around to see if Ciel accepts his offer, though already expecting him to, and is there to witness the very moment the boy rejects it. Gone is the uncertainty of Abberline's death and the Paris crisis, and Ciel, the Earl of Phantomhive, returns to him - sharper, colder, more ruthless than ever. Sebastian realises his misjudgement and returns to his side, ready for the final battle. Killing an angel. It's laughably symbolic.

The rejections of God, the evasion of the Hope Diamond's curse (where he even wore two rings as if to taunt the fates), the references in Book of Murder - they all depict this metaphorical sort of battle between Ciel and God. And the ending of Kuroshitsuji II is the depicts how he triumphs over fate, claiming his rightful place as an immortalised creature of Hell.

I know I've gone on a bit of a tangent here in your inbox, but that one quote from Book of Murder is so symbolic to me in the way it sets up the comparison between Ciel and God (in which 'God' represents power over fate).

Before I sign off, though, I just want to make light of the existence of the show's final offering, occurring in the last few minutes of the series. This last offering has nothing too do with God, nothing to do with any complex battle between the Phantomhive and fate, but is much simpler than that. In fact, the final offering of the show comes from Ciel, and he gives it to Sebastian - it's almost poetic, is it not?

"Are you sure you don't want to pull it any tighter?"

In this single, unassuming line, Ciel is asking Sebastian if he wants to kill him, and release himself from the eternal contract they've found themselves in. Such a noble and dignified soul as Ciel would always be sure to make through on his word and, despite the loophole that now extends their contract, he would still be willing to let Sebastian kill him should he wish to do so. The man may no longer be able to take his soul, but the boy can still give the order to kill him and free himself. Ciel's respect for Sebastian is complex and contradictory at times, but what never changes is his willingness to die by his hands and see through to his side of the contract.

“Is it over? The one who plunged me into bottomless darkness… I don’t even know why she did it.”

In the episode where Angela is crushed by the Church, Ciel offers his soul to Sebastian. Even when unsatisfied with the result, his unwavering nobility led him to make good on their deal and fulfil his end of the contract. The earl faced the demon, his expression calm, and with a steady voice said “A promise is a promise. Take it.”

This unwavering dignity and nobility he holds in himself I believe is the reason for this offering and Sebastian's turn to reject it is almost a 'love confession' (as you have brought me to see it) in itself.

As a final sort of note - I just wanted to let you know that, since reading your reply to my comment on TGSTLTH (from a while ago), I brought myself to rewatch Kuroshitsuji II with your interpretation in mind and ended up really enjoying it. You've singlehandedly made me do a complete 180 on a season I previously hated - looks like I had just watched it from the wrong perspective. So, for that, I thank you

Hey! Sorry for getting to your ask just now. I absolutely loved it :D And yes, Book of Murder is a masterpiece - I still remember watching it for the first time. It was late at night, I had to go to bed, everyone was sleeping, but I kept watching because stopping just wasn't an option, I had to know what happened next.

Ciel vs God is such an interesting topic. In some ways, Ciel and Sebastian exist in their own universe where there is no place for anyone else. There is a God aka Ciel and a demon aka Sebastian. And they are both allies and adversaries at the same time - they are tormenting each other and uniting to torment others.

I agree absolutely that Ciel holds a fondness for certain people, with Lizzy and Abberline being a good example. He has a degree of contempt and irritation for them, but they do mean something to him. Ciel's curiosity is a big and detached thing, and this places him on Sebastian's level in such an interesting way because sometimes it's almost like Ciel isn't human himself - humanity intrigues him as if he doesn't belong to it. His fascination with the light just underlines his affinity with the darkness.

I have many thoughts about Ciel's behavior during the days following Abberline's death, and you certainly introduced many excellent points! My general opinion on Ciel's motives is... complicated. I agree that he never felt like really giving up his revenge and trying to live a 'happy' life - he knew it's not for him at that stage already. However, I feel like Abberline's parting words affected him a lot, even if briefly. When Abberline tells him that he can start everything from the beginning, Ciel sounds absolutely heartbroken when he confesses, "I don't have a future." The way he acts later, telling Sebastian to stop and not kill the angel, hesitating, reinforces this idea to me. I think you described it best - Ciel is having an existential crisis. It's not like he suddenly regrets his decisions, but he's temporary unanchored and unsure what he wants and what he should do. Having a dream where Abberline urges him to give up his hatred also seems to affect Ciel, but it's so telling that he wakes up and immediately says, "Sebastian." It's a fascinating arc and I can't wait to explore it.

I love your words about three offerings - so true. And I'm so happy you liked S2 when watching it from a new perspective! I used to be so confused as to why people hated it: it's not perfect, but I thought it was amazing in many ways, especially its bittersweet ending.

[9worldstales]

MCU The Avengers - How did the fandom came to believe Loki was tortured by Thanos? (aka when God, Saint Paul and Dante seem to say the same thing)

Everyone has probably heard how there are people who say that, after falling into the Void at the end of “Thor”, Loki was tortured by Thanos and then sent to Earth. Of course every time this story comes up there’s a debate because this is not explicitly shown and some say it’s just a theory (word of Dante), some say someone involved with the work said so (word of Saint Paul) and some says the creators, be it Marvel or Joss Whedon or another director/scriptwriter said so (word of God).

Well, the truth is a collective chat about the three.

But first...

SOURCES MENTIONED:

Movies: “The Avengers” (2012), “Guardians of the Galaxy” (2014), “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2″ (2017), “Avengers: Infinity War”

Series: “Loki” (2021)

Comics: None mentioned

Direct-to-video animated film: None mentioned

Motion comics: None mentioned

Books: “The art of The Avengers” (2012)

Novels: “Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: The Avengers” (2015)

Webs: The official Marvel web

Others: Interview: “‘Thor: The Dark World’: Tom Hiddleston on boom times for evildoers”, Interview: “Tom Hiddleston - live on stage Q&A: Popcorn Tax.i October 8, 2013, Event Cinemas George Street, Sydney”, Interview: “Tom Hiddleston THE AVENGERS Set Visit Interview”, Interview: “Joss Whedon told Comic-Con the question he doesn’t want us to ask ever again”, Interview: ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ director explains why a major death had to happen so early in the movie, Script: “The Avengers”, Interview: Secrets Revealed in Joss Whedon’s Avengers DVD Commentary

Let’s start with...

WORD OF DANTE (aka fancanons)

Undoubtedly fans noticed some suspicious things in Loki which has brought them to draw certain conclusions.

1) At the end of “Thor”, when he control Selvig, his face seems to be bruised, as if he had been beaten. It’s easy for fans to assume if he seems to be beaten maybe... well, he was?

2) When he arrives, in “The Avengers”, in some scenes he seems unsteady on his feet and in poor shape as if he’d been beaten and, in one scene, he seems unable to stand straight. Same as above, Loki will prove through the movie he’s very resistant. If something made him unsteady on his feet... well, this can mean someone beaten him.

3) The Other threatens him and keeps him under surveillance, as if he’s controlling him somehow, both during the movie and in a deleted scene, which seems to imply Loki is working under coercion more than willingly.

THE OTHER: You will have your war, Asgardian. If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can’t find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain. [The Avengers]

4) Some wondered if Loki could have ended up being possessed as well by the sceptre as the sceptre could control minds.

5) Some noticed how Loki’s eyes appear as blue in “The Avengers”, a characteristic of the possessed guys, while in “Thor” they seem to be green was a hint Loki was possessed, same as Selvig and Barton.

6) Some wondered if Thanos might have tortured him to force him to cooperate as Thanos is known for having tortured people working under him. We saw him torturing Nebula in both “Avengers: Infinity War” and “Avengers: Endgame” and we also have those bits:

Gamora: He’s not my father. When Thanos took my home world, he killed my parents in front of me. He tortured me, turned me into a weapon. [Guardians of the Galaxy]

Nebula: You were the one who wanted to win. And I just wanted a sister! You were all I had. But you were the one who needed to win. Thanos pulled my eye from my head… and my brain from my skull… and my arm from my body… because of you. [Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2]

Gamora: All my life, I dreamed of a day... a moment when you would get what you deserved. And I was always so disappointed. But now... you kill and torture... and you call it mercy. The universe has judged you. You asked it for a prize, and it told you no. You failed. And do you wanna know why? Because you love nothing. No one. [Avengers: Infinity War]

7) Others assumed that, if Thanos didn’t do it personally, another of his children could have done it for him. We saw Ebony Maw torturing Stange in order to get the stone for Thanos.

Ebony Maw: You’ll only wish you were dead. [Avengers: Infinity War]

8) Since Thanos was willing to kill Rohan should he fail to bring back to him the orb, Thanos would have killed Loki if he hadn’t brought back the Tesseract so Loki was working for him under coercion.

Thanos: I shall honour our agreement, Kree. If you bring me the Orb. But return to me again empty-handed... ...and I will bathe the stairways in your blood. [Guardians of the Galaxy]

Ebony Maw: In all the time I’ve served Thanos, I’ve never failed him. If I were to reach our rendezvous on Titan with the Time Stone still attached to your vaguely irritating person, there would be... judgement. [Avengers: Infinity War]

9) Loki’s willing cooperation wasn’t needed if Thanos had the feeling Loki could do it. He had blackmailed Gamora into giving him the location of the soul stone and he had killed Tivan to get the reality stone.

World of Dante is, as usual, very charming but if not supported by anything else it can’t ascend to canon. This doesn’t mean it’s false unless Word of God ends up stating the opposite, but this doesn’t mean it’s true either. Just possible but unproved.

So is there someone else that’s a little stronger than fan theories?

Enter...

WORD OF SAINT PAUL (aka what Tom Hiddleston says)

For start that he has blue eyes and, from the way he speak, apparently he was never made wear green eye contacts.

Loki is a sexy villain, but that’s not part of his ambition, is it? He doesn’t seem to be interested in love or sex but he has this sexuality about him, maybe it’s his lust for power. What do you think of Loki as a sexy beast? [Laughs] That’s the first time anyone has ever used that phrase about Loki. It’s fascinating isn’t it? I don’t know because it’s not a part of the conscious construction. I take relish in playing him. I think there’s a physical self-possession about him, a self-acceptance. Of course I’ve been very exacting about his physicality. You know, I was born with very blonde, curly hair, and a mixture of Scottish and English genes, and my complexion is very ruddy and healthy. In making him with this raven black hair and blanching my face of all colour, it changes my features. Suddenly my blue eyes look a lot bluer, which lends a severity to my face. And even my own smile has a distorted menace to it. Whatever comes through me naturally is distorted. It’s almost like a filter on a light. [‘Thor: The Dark World’: Tom Hiddleston on boom times for evildoers]

This disproves Fan theory point number 5. You might have noticed though that the theory about Loki being possessed by the sceptre is point 4. You’ll see later why I hadn’t placed those two points together.

And now let’s see what he has to say about what happened between “Thor” and “The Avengers.

In your opinion, what happen to Loki when he fell in to the void? Like, what did he experienced? HIDDLESTON: “You mean at the end of Thor?” “Yeah.” HIDDLESTON: “I think he went like with everything else to… Joss Whedon and I discussed it, to a sort of… hum… as… It was like the worst place imaginable. I think, he went to sort of all of the darkest recesses of the Universe, you know. I’m sure he had a brush with… with... with... several brushes with death. I think he ran into the shadiest characters you can find in the Nine Realms. I think he had to rely on his wits to protect himself. Hum… It was really, really, really unpleasant, I think. Umm… and all I have to, you know, I don’t have any frame of reference for that, really, except for imagining what it might be like to be… I don’t know, to be kidnapped by sort of a terrorist cell or something. And have to survive very very frightening and precarious existence. But whatever it was, it was important when Loki came back for the Avengers. Whatever compassion he had left, was absolutely kind a shrivelled to a minimum. Because of the experience he had. Harrowing, I think, and scarring for life. In a way that Odin and Thor, and Frigga find very, very difficult to understand. It’s a good question. Happy Birthday.” [Tom Hiddleston - live on stage Q&A: Popcorn Tax.i October 8, 2013, Event Cinemas George Street, Sydney]

How different is Loki in this film when compared to how he is in Thor? I think that he comes into his own power at the end of Thor. Is he just very angry and bitter in this film? HIDDLESTON: Well, what can I say here? I swear to you that in that building over there, there are sniper rifles. [laughs] I think that what was interesting about the journey of Loki in Thor is that he went from second string and damaged prints to being the God of mischief and God of evil. I think somewhere between the end of Thor and the beginning of The Avengers, Loki has been to the Marvel equivalent of the 7th circle of hell. At the end of Thor you see him let go. He lets go of the spear, he lets go of Asgard, and he lets go of the need of his brother and father’s affection and approval. He has bigger plans now. [Tom Hiddleston THE AVENGERS Set Visit Interview]

HIDDLESTON: “At the end of Thor, Loki lets go of that spear and falls into a wormhole,” Hiddleston said. “And the question in the audience’s mind, one hopes, is what happens to Loki in that moment? And in the time between the end of Thor and the beginning of The Avengers, Loki has explored the shadowy highways and byways of the universe – and he’s met some terrible, terrible people and probably has some awful experiences, which he has survived and overcome. So by the time he arrives in The Avengers, he knows the extents of his power – and he’s unafraid to use it. And more importantly, he’s unafraid to enjoy it.” [The Art of The Avengers]

There’s actually more but I think I’ll stop here.

Overall Tom Hiddleston seems to be a big supporter of something terrible happening to Loki, something equivalent to being ‘to the Marvel equivalent of the 7th circle of hell’* evidently at the hands of someone, the ‘shadiest characters you can find in the Nine Realms’, ‘some terrible, terrible people’.

Basically he says ‘I don’t have any frame of reference for that, really, except for imagining what it might be like to be… I don’t know, to be kidnapped by sort of a terrorist cell or something. And have to survive very very frightening and precarious existence.’

[*7th circle of hell: For who’s curious the 7th circle of hell in Dante Alighieri’s Divina Commedia is where are punished those who had committed violence against others and against themselves (suicides). Loki committed both sins. For Dante people who committed violence against people is immersed in a river of boiling blood with centaurs shooting arrows at those who try to escape while suicides are transformed into bushes and trees, gnarled and thorny, fed upon by the Harpies for all time. Likely that’s not what was done to him but anyway that’s not a nice place to be.]

Yes, Tom Hiddleston never said it was Thanos and his men who ‘kidnapped Loki and put him through the equivalent of the 7th circle of hell’. He’s very vague on this but we now Tom Hiddleston is careful not to give information which could constitute spoilers.

He also never mentions Loki being mind controlled as far as I know.

So we need an even higher source.

We need...

WORD OF GOD, or, in this case the WORD OF GODS, plural, because in the Marvel world there’s plenty of people who can claim authorship for the stories of those characters.

Whedon avoided speculating about his future plans, claiming he had too much on his plate to think about what will come next, but he did reveal that he’s bothered by a bit of unresolved backstory for Loki. At the end of Thor, Loki was emotional conflicted, but at the beginning of Avengers, he’s a demented villain, with no qualms about unleashing alien hell on Earth. Asked about how happened in between, Whedon said: “Well, I can’t tell you exactly what went on because it’s this dark, dark secret that I didn’t make up yet. But, the other day, I had trouble with that because he had this very passionate Shakespearean tragedy thing going on in Thor and then I needed a villain who’s not only capable, but ready and willing and anxious to take on all these heroes. For me, he just basically went on some horrible walkabout… That was pretty much as far as I got.” [Joss Whedon told Comic-Con the question he doesn’t want us to ask ever again]

God confirms what Tom Hiddleston said, Loki went through something terrible... but he had no idea what because he still had to work on it. He didn’t want to establish what. But, as I said, Marvel has plenty of Gods willing to talk.

After Loki fell in the wormhole... where did he fell?

Arriving at the Sanctuary through a wormhole caused by the Bifrost, Loki met the Other, ruler of the ancient race of extraterrestrials the Chitauri, and Thanos. Offering the God of Mischief dominion over his brother’s favorite realm Earth, Thanos requested the Tesseract in return. Gifted with a Sceptre that acted as a mind control device, Loki would be able to influence others. Unbeknownst to him, the Sceptre was also influencing him, fueling his hatred over his brother Thor and the inhabitants of Earth. [MARVERL official web]

So no, after falling into the wormhole Loki didn’t go on a touristic trip through the universe, met someone bad unrelated to Thanos, changed and then met up with Thanos.

He straight out ended up at the Sanctuary and met with the Other who worked for Thanos.

Yes, they don’t say he got tortured in this bit but they confirm the sceptre was influencing him, ‘fueling his hatred over his brother Thor and the inhabitants of Earth’.

There’s some more that comes from Joe Russo and Stephen McFeely.

If you’ve watched every movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, you shouldn’t have been too surprised Thanos killed Loki. His death has been a long time coming since 2012’s “Avengers.” You may not recall, but it was Loki’s job in “Avengers” to secure the Tesseract and deliver it to Thanos. Loki never made good on that promise. It was only a matter of time before Thanos came after him to collect. Co-director Joe Russo says Thanos ultimately murders Loki “for disobedience.” “Remember, he [Thanos] had a relationship with Loki, even if it was off-screen where he entrusted him with a duty in ‘Avengers 1’ and Loki failed,” pointed out “Infinity War” screenwriter Stephen McFeely. “He’s [Thanos] making him [Loki] pay,” added Joe Russo. “Thanos has a long memory,” McFeely concluded. [‘Avengers: Infinity War’ director explains why a major death had to happen so early in the movie]

And then... then there’s something that’s even above World of God.

So finally we have...

CANON, aka what the movies say, and they say the weirdest canon lines in this regard if I can say so.

Thanos: [Walks over and drops Loki’s body in front of Thor.] No resurrections this time. [Avengers: Infinity War]

Loki: Is that the only reason you brought us here? To kill us? I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been killed, so go ahead. Do your worst. [Loki Ep 4]

How all this translates? (aka Word of Dante comes back because God and Saint Paul are just too obscure and canon is no better)

If Loki after falling into the wormhole ended up straight to the Sanctuary, the ones who played the part of the terrorists and lead him to an experience similar to ending in the 7th circle of hell where he had many brushes with death where either Thanos or his men.

Do your pick if the Other took care of it personally, if Thanos did the job or if he let the pleasure to Ebony Maw and what they did to him, if they forced him to fight with others same as Gamora and Nebula where forced to do, with the loser also losing a body part or if they just beat him.

The fact that Loki, in the “Loki” series say he has been killed so many times he lost count and that Thanos in “Avengers: Infinity War” says there will be no resurrection this time seem to be connected.

That Loki as far as we know only attempted suicide by letting himself fall in a wormhole once, and Thanos couldn’t know Loki was given up for dead in Svartalfheim so the idea that Loki was killed many time and that Thanos know he had been resurrected should be connected.

How? That’s beyong my understanding as, as far as I know, no one in Thanos’ group has resurrecting powers. Can the mind stone do it? This would open up another theory.

As for the sceptre controlling him ‘fuelling his hatred over his brother Thor and the inhabitants of Earth’ what does that mean?

That he’s clearly not completely brainwashed as Selvig and Hawkeye.

So which is his level of brainwashing?

Very likely it’s at the same level as the one of the Avengers when they are in the same room and start arguing and the discussion degenerates to the point they seemed about to go at each other while the gem in the sceptre starts to glow, which is something both the script and the novelization reference...

[As the “team” argues, they don’t realize the BLUE GEM on Loki’s sceptre is glowing brightly.] [“The Avengers” Script]

None of them noticed when the gem set into Loki’s sceptre started to glow. [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: The Avengers”]

...and that the visual remark, turning the scene upside down as the gem is in full focus.

The novelization describes them as arguing without even knowing exactly what they’re arguing about.

Tony and Cap squared off over an argument that they couldn’t remember starting. Tony was still mad about the last thing Cap had said to him... whatever it was. [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: The Avengers”]

We also see Bruce picking up the sceptre without realizing, something that’s referenced both by the script and the novel.

BANNER: You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm? [BLACK WIDOW and Fury have their hands down to grab their guns.] STEVE: Doctor Banner... put down the sceptre. [BANNER LOOKS DOWN AND IS SHOCKED TO SEE HE’S HOLDING LOKI’S SCEPTRE. The computer beeps. They all turn to it.] [“The Avengers” Script]

“Dr. Banner,” Cap said. “Put down the sceptre.” Bruce looked down. He hadn’t even known he’d picked it up. He looked back up and saw Natasha’s hand on her sidearm. Fury was also ready to draw. The others were drawing back from him as well. Even though he could see what was going on, the hostility in the air was still tick enough that Bruce didn’t know wherever he could back everyone down... or wherever he could back himself down. He could feel the tension rising inside him. He could feel the monster trying to get loose. [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: The Avengers”]

The implication is that the sceptre is influencing them, pulling out their worst feelings and competitively and whatever which matches with what it did with Loki, it fuelled his hate.

It’s interesting how, when Loki arrives on Earth, the gem is glowing...

Also, the stranger held a kind of spear in his right hand. Set into its head, a gem glowed the same icy blue as the energy that had spilled from the Tesseract. [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: The Avengers”]

...and he also looks at the sceptre as if he hadn’t realized having it in his hand.

“Sir,” Fury called as armoured S.H.I.E.L.D. agents closed nearer, “Please put down the spear.” The man looked at the sceptre as if he had only just noticed he had it. Then, slowly, he looked back up at Fury, and a vicious smile spread across his face. [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: The Avengers”]

It’s worth to mention though, in that scene in which the Avengers argue, none of the Avengers has his eyes turning blue, although they weren’t themselves any longer.

So, it’s possible this is the distinction, Clint and Selvig have completely lost their will and are subjugated to Loki’s will, and as a result they’ve the blue eyes, Loki and the Avengers instead only had their mind warped by increasing exponentially their negative feelings to the point they might have started losing focus of the situation and only operate on negative feelings... if that’s make sense. They’re still themselves but their perception is warped so they’re acting in a way that’s not normal for them.

On another note it seems that in Joss Whedon’s Avengers DVD Commentary he said that

Hawkeye’s blue “possessed eyes” were added in post very late in the game, to make it more obvious that he and Eric Selvig were under Loki’s influence. [Secrets Revealed in Joss Whedon’s Avengers DVD Commentary]

This means that originally they weren’t meant to turn blue.

In the novel there’s no mention of it, in the script they’re described just as glowing black and then nothing more.

LOKI: You have heart. [Loki places the tip of the spear against Barton’s chest. Barton’s eye glow black, and he stops resisting. Loki begins controlling other agents around the room. Fury sneak up, grabs the Tesseract, and places it in a briefcase, trying to sneak out.] [“The Avengers” Script]

In the movie instead they turn all black for a moment and then settle on blue.

It’s an unnatural blue though, where Loki’s normal.

But again, this too is a fan explanation. A fan explanation based on canon, but still a fan explanation since God didn’t bother to explain further and at this point I’m afraid he’s not even interested in explaining it since the “Loki” series could have dug on this and instead expressed 0 interest in digging into the past movies.

Sometimes we’ve just to accept that fan theories are all we have and that we can like or dislike them.

And that’s all. Thank you to who remained till the end of this long post!

[dbh-rambling]

Was Connor deliberately made to become deviant?

If Connor deviates on stage with pacifist!Markus, Amanda heavily implies that Connor was. 

If Connor deviates on stage alone, she'll say it outright, and more besides.

We start out assuming that Amanda and Cyberlife are anti-deviancy, so this scene is a hard twist, going against everything we see so far. If she's telling the truth, then it has far reaching implications: if Connor was always supposed to be deviant, and Cyberlife planned for a revolution all along--then does that mean they were helping androids? Had they known about the sentience from the start, was that something they’d tried to help or stop?

... All of that hinges on the assumption that she’s telling the truth. Considering the evidence that suggests otherwise....

Amanda treats Connor likes a machine and nudges him to behave like one.

The most obvious example here is a line of dialog after the Kamski test, and she probes for any doubts or deviant feelings:

Connor: I've started having thoughts that are not part of my program... I've considered the possibility... That I might be compromised.      Amanda: You've been confronted with difficult situations. It's no surprise you're troubled. That doesn't make you a deviant.

This isn’t a ‘hmm, not deviant enough’ tone. Instead it’s a reassuring tone, asserting the fact that he isn’t deviant like this is something to hold on to.

Aside from this, Amanda evaluates him in all the regular Zen Garden meetings on whether his actions were successful (towards machinelike goals) or subpar (useless or deviant). If he behaves in ways that don’t match Cyberlife’s party line for machinehood Amanda’s trust in Connor goes down, and Connor gets disapproved of, chided, and occasionally threatened.

Her opinion matters to Connor, and she has a position of power over him. Amanda's using every tool at her disposal to steer Connor away from deviancy.

Amanda sends Connor to act against deviants and the revolution, not integrate into their ranks.

Let’s examine Amanda’s targets for disapproval a little more: Connor's Cyberlife-given task is to hunt down and capture deviants. If he doesn’t...

Amanda: Two investigations, two failures... That's very disappointing. I expected more from our best model.

 If they wanted Connor to worm his way into deviant good standings, you'd think they'd encourage things that would help him with that, such as making friends. Instead they order Connor towards actions (hunting, killing, chasing) that make deviants wary about being around him.

Additionally, if they wanted Connor to be able to infiltrate deviant movements from the start, they probably shouldn’t have broadcasted Connor's identity as the deviant hunter, which made him recognizable to the deviant masses as an enemy.

Cyberlife is not trying to integrate Connor into the revolution. It's not on their radar. They sent him out to be a good cop robot, and that's what he tries to do, and Amanda encourages it.

If Cyberlife wanted Connor to go deviant, then why does their story change from scenario to scenario?

If Machine!Connor deviates while standing in the crowd, he gets this:

Amanda: Connor, what are you doing? Obey! That's an order! Connor: I... I can't do that!..                         Amanda: I see... Moral objections. We knew there was a risk you'd be  compromised... Which is why we'd always planned on resuming control of your program...                         Connor: Resume control?... You can't do that!...                         Amanda: I'm afraid I can, Connor... You needn't have any regrets. You did what you were designed to do. You accomplished your mission.                 

Connor’s deviation here is an inconvenience and an obstacle to Amanda’s goal, which is to shoot Markus (and as a result, destabilize the android revolution). Amanda says they made backup plans to account for if he deviated inconveniently, because they knew he was at risk. She doesn’t say he was supposed to deviate.

If Markus dies earlier and Connor gets hijacked while he’s on stage:

Amanda: Well done, Connor. Everything went according to plan.             Connor: What plan? Amanda: You becoming deviant? The success of the uprising? It all surpassed our expectations. We engineered an android revolution and now we control its only leader... Congratulations. You represent an immense success for CyberLife. Connor: *Lifts gun to kill himself* Amanda: Connor... What are you doing?.. It all worked perfectly. You can't ruin it all now!..

In this scenario he was suddenly always supposed to deviate, and the revolution was on purpose, and Cyberlife was behind everything.

So... what now? Making plans to recover if Connor deviates inconveniently is very different from deliberately setting out to deviate him. If Cyberlife wanted the revolution to fail and saw Connor’s deviation as an inconvenience, then they wouldn’t have engineered the revolution in the first place. Both stories can’t be true. One of them is a lie, and it’s probably the version where Cyberlife supposedly engineers an android revolution that destabilizes their financial empire, counters all their earlier attempts to keep things quiet, kills a ton of humans, and destroys a shitton of their ‘merchandise’.

If Cyberlife didn't actually mean for Connor to deviate, then why would Amanda say they did?

Look at what happens. In a Markus-is-on-stage route, Connor is thrown into a frightening, disorienting situation where he needs a clear head to escape. If he doesn't, Amanda keeps control long enough to shoot Markus. If he does, Amanda loses. She's trying to scare him into not being able to focus, and even with the mild strategic prodding she gives him here, it can be very successful. (Exactly how successful she is is player dependent, but anyone who’s played knows how easy it is to get lost in the snow.)

What about the Connor-on-stage-alone route? What happens if Connor thinks Cyberlife wanted him placed exactly where he is, and that they can control him completely?

... Yeah.

If Connor's convinced enough that Cyberlife can control him, that he’s trapped in their game and that once again, he should’ve known they were using him--he panics so badly that the first thing he does upon regaining freedom is to kill himself on the spot.

Telling him his deviancy was a deliberate move on Cyberlife's part and that Cyberlife Totally Knows How To Handle Deviancy (despite a whole game of seeing the exact opposite) is Amanda trying to psych Connor out. She adjusts how hard she tries depending on what reaction she’s trying to get: if she just needs Connor diverted for a second, she’ll leave enough mystery to confuse and distract him while she seizes his body. (Total destruction might not be a goal because if she fails the first time, then it might be worth trying again later.) If she needs to traumatize him to the point that he’ll destroy himself if she fails, she’ll go all out.

In all cases the leader of the deviants is her final target--and she’s looking to kill this leader, one way or another.

TL;DR: Amanda never wanted Connor to deviate. It was a mind game. Don't be like Connor, remember that she's a lying liar who lies.

[mallowstep]

📖 (foxstride)

ask thingy

@foxstride

okay i mentioned this to you on discord but i didn't go into it but. okay. okay. the au where mistyfoot is hawk, moth, and tadpole's mother. this has been just. it's been chewing on my brain and i don't know when i'm going to write it so since u gave me a blank canvas, i'm going to ramble about it for as long as i can.

cw: implied/referenced sexual assault; brief suicidal ideation; standard tigerclan content (abuse, child abuse, starvation, dehumanization, etc.); referenced force feeding

okay oh my gosh okay. this has. so obviously i've been thinking about riverclan lately. a lot. it's rcam. anyway. i don't want. i'm trying to get to the point and not loop around aimlessly for two hundred words but okay but okay. anyway.

i've been thinking of all the different ways i can deeply traumatize misty, storm, and feather. and maybe stone. maybe i'll let stone live at some point. that'd be fun.

right so i've been thinking of that and my ideas are all over the place. i'm going to let primrosepaw live at some point. at one point i'm going to have stormpaw, and maybe primrosepaw or reedpaw (and...what's the other one? is it perchpaw or pikepaw? whatever) the point is i'll have some collection of stormpaw and some or all of mistyfoot's kits escape but not misty and feather so we can do survivor's guilt and.

anyway so i was writing the excerpt for the primrosepaw is definitely there au (it's kind of not Tethered because most of these aren't mutually incompatible like that au could be any of the others), and tigerstar has that dialogue about kits yeah?

so when i was writing it, i was thinking about just. he's trying to dehumanize all of them, right? that's his goal with that line. he's separating mistyfoot from her kits, trying to erase the meaning of their relationships. that's like. that's what i was considering when i was writing it.

buuuuuuut. y'know. my brain is chewing on it. and it just. hm. Hm. what if. what If tadpole, moth, and hawk were misty and tiger kits. hm. hmm. hm.

and so i am just instantly. very on board with this. there's so much potential.

so i Think the point of canon divergence is the rescue attempt. i haven't decided if stormpaw is successfully rescued or not. featherpaw doesn't for reasons i'm circling around to, but stormpaw may or may not. it certainly Matters in a broad sense but i haven't made up my mind, and i doubt i'm going to write Multiple aus about this. i mean i might u never know but it'd b like writing an alternate stolag: i mean i suppose i Could but it would feel weird.

okay almost burnt my dinner i said i'm very this has just been slowly rotting my brain out. i like Angst and it's been a while since i've written any.

okay there was fmtws but really that got me started. i'm not a fluff person. and y'all know that by now.

so Back On Topic. so Anyway after the rescue attempt fails/partially fails, tigerstar takes his anger out at the apprentices being Alive on featherpaw and she gets to. uh. help tigerclan practice fighting.

"Let me see her," Mudfur hissed. "No," Tigerstar said. "I've told you." Mudfur growled. Featherpaw dragged herself to her feet, and Mistyfoot glanced back at her. They would leave they would leave they would leave and then she could lie down again and try not to think. "You're not my leader," Mudfur said, and Featherpaw winced. Mistyfoot could see what was going on, but she was sitting still as a stone. Mudfur pressed into their — Mudfur pressed in, laying a wrapped bundle at Mistyfoot's feet. "Let me—" "No," Mistyfoot said. "Just go." Mudfur dipped his head. Tigerstar's steps moved away from them, but the shouts and arguments surrounding Mudfur were just buzzing noise in Featherpaw's head. She made out, "She's going to die," and she thought, that wouldn't be the worst thing.

thank You featherpaw. you will suffer for the au as a whole. anyway this takes place...i'm not Quite sure but mistyfoot does have a reason for not letting mudfur in. and that reason is she is in Denial about being pregnant.

if mudfur comes in he'll know (i have not forgotten that cats can smell unlike the erins), and mistyfoot is acting in denial. altho she rationalizes it to herself as being for mudfur's protection: runningnose is a medicine cat too, and so tigerstar could off mudfur without much effort.

(also i tend to mix up mudfur and mudclaw sometimes understand i am talking about the riverclan medicine cat, not the windclan deputy. i just mistype them sometimes.)

anyway so she has a legitimate reason (mudfur's continual survival, which is better for her and featherpaw longterm), and she does not want mudfur to know.

yeah.

all in all, this happens before the great battle. mistyfoot fights in it (again, denial), featherpaw and stormpaw are reunited (yes i think i made up my mind), (wait maybe stonefur lives too, and then both pairs of siblings reconnect, and stonefur is like "oh Shit" and. okay yes. maybe. i don't know.)

(there's a Lot. ohh maybe. wait best of both worlds okay. mistyfoot Thinks stonefur is dead. but stonefur doesn't get a proper burial but at the same time riverclan is Not going to go for their deputy on bonepile and even if they do go for it, they're not going to stripe his bones nor are they going to let a Physical Cat Corpse rot in camp. so when firestar and greystripe rescue stormpaw, stormpaw Insists they go back for his body, and then they realize he's Alive but obviously mistyfoot doesn't know.)

(there then i get the Best of both worlds. and stonefur and feathertail are in the Chronic Pain club.)

(also the thing w/ fighting is also what happens in "someday when the world is much brighter". not that Particular scene or in that Particular way, but it does happen. i mean almost exactly in that particular way. but that scene is from a different fic.)

anyway okay moving on i did add too much chili powder to my dinner but that's fine i'm still not over when someone refused to give me more harissa because "it's spicy" like yes i know i guarantee my mom makes it spicier.

back on topic sorry. i've been writing this as i do other things bc i have so much to say about this and i don't want to wait for tomorrow to share this because it's been just Rotting away my brain.

anyway so siblings reunite. it's...terse. it's complicated.

there's some parallels going on right? like because both featherpaw and stormpaw are basically in the mindset of looking after their mentors (which mistyfoot and stonefur feel Terrible about), everyone has survivor's guilt (i don't know what to call like, survivor's guilt when it's not actually survivor's guilt so if someone has a correct word please let me know) except for Maybe featherpaw.

featherpaw might be the Only one here who doesn't have survivor's guilt. i don't really want to explore the one way she could end up with it. that's past my comfort level at the moment.

but stormpaw and mistyfoot are the most physically healthy, and stormpaw and stonefur escaped.

stormpaw: i have not been hurt by this in any way

everyone around stormpaw: you have definitely been hurt by this

stormpaw: i have not been hurt by this in any way

stormpaw and featherpaw become warriors, leopardstar makes mistyfoot deputy (because stonefur is still recovering and also no longer wants the position. mistyfoot doesn't either but she's in denial and she doesn't want anyone else to have it. mistyfoot is visibly pregnant and still kind of in denial at this point. like it's been at least a moon and she is refusing to talk about it.)

right so i think stormpaw's name is going to be stormheart because i don't know it was always weird to me that stormfur and stonefur have the same suffix. like given Everything that's going on it feels weird to me. ig it'd actually be less weird in this, given that stonefur is still alive, but do you know How Close stonefur and stormfur are. they're one consonant cluster off. they're One consonant cluster off.

so leopardstar names him stormheart. feathertail can keep her name because it's pretty.

mistyfoot is a moon away from kitting. she refuses to talk about it. to anyone. whatsoever.

feathertail and stonefur decide to stage an intervention.

(they leave stormheart out not because he's not part of the found family, but because mistyfoot literally will not tolerate a single word about this. like a single word. like she will growl at you if you look at her stomach for too long.

so given the fairly high odds that mistyfoot gets violent, they keep stormheart out of it. she's the least likely to attack stonefur and feathertail.

stormheart finds out about this later and is like "do you guys realize if this went south you had absolutely 0 control over the situation. like what are you guys going to do. you incapable of doing anything to stop her if something goes wrong."

feathertail is like "yes. that's the point."

feathertail is both kind of right and also very internally messed up from being used for "training" when she wasn't allowed to fight back. feathertail also hates if you call her by just her prefix. she does not tell anyone this. misty is aware of this, and she tells stone and storm, and riverclan does eventually figure it out. plus it's not like feathertail is close enough to anyone else for them to call her "feather".

okay i'm getting off topic sorry i've been working on a tpb thing for swtwimb, and the one scene i have is cats making fun of her for not fighting back (again she is not allowed to they might kill her if she does), so they call her "featherkit" and that eventually gets brought down to feather and i'm rambling anyway On topic again.)

so stonefur and feathertail are like. "mistyfoot you are like. a half moon away from kitting. it is impairing your ability to do warrior duties. you need to like. acknowledge this."

anyway after a very terse conversation. after a veeery terse conversation, where mistyfoot is like. very close to just absolutely abandoning riverclan. they get her to admit that yes she is pregnant and yes she needs to stop doing warrior duties for the moment.

she wasn't exactly Healthy when she was pregnant because even tho tigerstar made a Point of making her like. eat enough to be healthy and also not violently attacking her. she had still been starved for...idk long enough for her ribs to show. i'm not sure what the exact timeline on this is yet.

also then After Tigerclan she did not eat as much as she should have because (a) denial and (b) she had been forcefed and so now she's. not doing that.

oh wow i've written long enough for my grammar checker to turn off again. that hasn't happened in ages.

all bets are off from here on out re grammar and spelling.

okay so mistyfoot isn't going to move into the nursery. i believe mosspelt has had a litter of 3 kits, or will have one as we see in asir, but mistyfoot isn't. she's not moving into it. stone, misty, storm, and feathertail share a den. no one else is allowed into it for Any Reason.

so anyway, they expand the den. riverclan as a whole might? i'm not sure who's good at weaving bc i don't have headcanons for this time period. probably not feathertail, but possibly stonefur. hm. anyway, they expand the den, mistyfoot will raise the kits in this den, everyone is on board with this.

mostly because it's this or mistyfoot like. runs away. which obviously no one wants. riverclan is on the side of...the four? riverclan is on the side of the four. even if they're not like, even though the four don't trust them, feathertail and misty especially (stone and storm tolerate it much better). but even tho things are complicated, riverclan is certainly going to do actions. they're certainly going to try to demonstrate their support.

okay so mistyfoot gives birth to her kits, and she is. not feeling good. about it. she's feeling terrible about it actually. she's feeling terrible about things. she doesn't want to name them.

usuuually in this situation, after the queens (collective) decided its in the best interest of the kits to be raised by someone other than their birth mother, the kits would be given to another queen.

but see. feathertail, stonefur, and stormheart are All attatched to these kits. deeply attatched to them. and mistyfoot is not willing to give them up either.

so mistyfoot isn't willing to give them up to another riverclan queen, and feathertail, stone, and storm all Want to raise them, and also don't want to give them to another queen.

the queens confer with mudfur that it is absolutely the worst possible thing they could do to forcibly remove the kits from mistyfoot. like that is the Worst option. they'd be lucky to get the kits alive, feathertail and mistyfoot are likely to abandon riverclan, and if misty and feathertail abandon riverclan, stone and storm will follow.

they're stuck in a standstill for a while. the four eventually do name them hawkkit, mothkit, and tadpolekit. the kits are about a moon old and ready to be weaned. mistyfoot is still extremely tense about the affair, but she's willing to part with them. she's able to recognize that's in the best interest of the kits, mosspelt's litter is about the same age, moving them into the nursery is going to give them a more normal upbringing, everyone is on the same page.

feathertail, who's having a lot of self worth issues, decides that moving into the nursery is her best bet for clan usefulness (which (a) feathertail you cannot keep up with kits and (b) the whole Place she's in is bad to begin with), moves in with them.

the kits decide feathertail is their mother now (they're old enough to understand that she didn't give birth to them, altho i haven't decided if they remember misty as their mother and if they're told any information re their birth parents depends exactly What kind of angst i want to write), and feathertail is. okay with this.

unlike asir, she's not blindsided with the tigerstar-is-their-father reveal, so she does have some issues with hawkkit reminding her of tigerstar, he's not really her Big Bad Trauma Nightmares. she has way more issues with the riverclan warriors directly involved in her abuse.

anyway, i don't know what happens tnp era stuff. i haven't gotten that far yet. maybe this will be another au where hawk and/or moth is a prophecy cat. i'm not sure. i haven't gotten farther than this.

but here you go i started writing this like an hour and a half ago and while i did stop to eat, i also just finally put everything i have for this au on one page and i hope and pray that will stave off the brainrot until i have a chance to actually write it.

[my-bated-breath]

Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic

(featured below: a very self-indulgent Zutara post that uses Facts and Evidence to be self-indulgent)

When I joined the ATLA fandom, a common trend I've seen used to discredit Zutara was the belief that upon transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one, Zuko and Katara would immediately become The Worst (TM) for each other. It's quite the stretch, and the Zutara fandom nearly unanimously recognizes that. Still, since the attacks have yet to cease even 15 years after the show’s first release, I'd like to add my two-cents on the subject, along with a reference to actual research that is much harder to dismiss.

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships.

While “On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” covers a variety of aspects regarding how friends may approach a budding romantic relationship, this meta will focus on the section titled “The Trajectory from Platonic Friendship to Romantic Relationship,” which describes stages of intimacy that are in common between platonic and romantic relationships.

(I am only using this one source for my meta because as much as I love research and argumentative writing, I can only give myself so much more school work before I break. If you wish to see more sources that corroborate the argument from above, refer to the end of this meta at the “Works Cited.”)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

_____

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

_____

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

(Additional note: only the first three definitions will be relevant to this meta, but the other definitions are left in for all of you who want to speculate what the next part of this meta, which may or may not be published the following week, will be about.)

Let’s apply what we just learned back to the real Zuko-Katara relationship we see throughout the show. What attributes of healthy and natural friends-to-lovers dynamics may they check off?

Perceiving similarities:

Zuko and Katara share an astounding number of parallels in background and character throughout the show. Both their mothers had sacrificed their lives to save them, and then there are many deliberate parallels drawn between Zuko and Katara’s confrontations in the Day of Black Sun and The Southern Raiders, respectively. Of course, there are more, but since I do not have much to add to this subject, I’ll say that perceiving these similarities helps contribute to…

Pair rapport:

We see three standout examples of this from the show in which Zuko and Katara “make positive emotional and behavioral responses” towards each other: In the Crossroads of Destiny, the Southern Raiders, and Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

(1) Crossroads of Destiny. Zuko and Katara bond over the loss of their mothers in the Crystal Catacombs, allowing themselves to truly see the other for the first time as well as for them to speak civilly and intimately (is this self-disclosure I see?) with each other. Of course, their conversation (on-screen or off-screen) is meaningful enough for Katara to offer to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal Zuko’s scar.

(2) The Southern Raiders. The journey Zuko and Katara take for her to achieve closure (which is something Zuko himself knew was necessary to heal and grow) is the catalyst for Katara forgiving Zuko. Though there is no true “rapport” in the scene where Katara forgives him, all other banter/conversations (in the Ember Island Players and the ATLA finale) between Katara and Zuko are reliant on the moment she forgives him.

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. In the finale, Zuko experiences a moment of uncertainty before just before he faces his uncle -- his uncle who had always been there for him since the days of his banishment, his uncle had loved him unconditionally even when Zuko did not know that such love was possible, his uncle who loved him like his own son, his uncle who he betrayed in the Crystal Catacombs, his uncle who turned away when he was encased in crystal, too disappointed to look him in the eye. He tells this to Katara -- and what does Katara say to Zuko in response?

“Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

The dialogue speaks for itself. The positive emotional response, the open communication, and the (rightful) encouragement Katara provides, all without invalidating Zuko’s self-doubt, demonstrates the epitome of pair rapport. Further elaboration would simply be me gushing over their dynamic.

Self-disclosure:

Self-disclosure involves revealing intimate feelings. We’re revisiting the same three episodes that we covered up above since they all include self-disclosure.

(1) The Crossroads of Destiny. When he reaches out in the Crystal Catacombs, Zuko reveals something to Katara that he has never told anyone before, perhaps something he didn’t even want to admit to himself -- in response to “the Fire Nation took my mother away from me” he says “that's something we have in common.” And to say that out loud, to say it to himself and Katara when for three whole years he’s been trying to convince himself that the Fire Nation is good and that his father loves him -- there are no words to describe it. It’s both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking to see that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain is what allowed them to see each other as more than the “face of the enemy,” and it’s something so poignant that it forms an immediately profound connection between the two.

(2) The Southern Raiders. On their way to the Fire Nation communications tower on Whale Tail Island, Katara tells the story of her mother’s death, a story that has haunted her memories for years, looming over her as a ghost, a wound that festers into fear to grief to anger. This was the moment that divided Katara’s life into the Before and the After, the one that forced her to abandon childhood and to become a mother to her own brother (as implied by Sokka in his conversation with Toph in the Runaway). And yet this is the first time we see her tell someone her story in the show, full and vivid as if it happened yesterday. Because even though she mentioned her mother before to Aang, Haru, and Jet in order to sympathize with them -- it’s just that. Sympathizing. This time she tells Zuko about her mother’s death for her own sake rather than for another’s. And it’s an incredibly intimate moment, one that is made even more fragile, wrenching, and beautiful by Zuko’s response -- “Your mother was a brave woman.”

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. Throughout the second half of season 3, Zuko shares his love and insecurities regarding Iroh to every member of the GAang.

In the Firebending Masters, he mentions to Aang offhandedly -- and perhaps too offhandedly, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself -- that Iroh, Dragon of the West, received his honorary title for killing the last dragon.

An episode later in part one of the Boiling Rock, Zuko talks about his uncle with near constancy. He brews tea for the GAang and (endearingly) tries retelling “Uncle’s favorite tea joke.” He tells Sokka, “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that… I  meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me. And I really let him down.” He (fails at, adorably) giving advice to Sokka when the rescue mission to the Boiling Rock has begun to look helpless, asking himself “what would Uncle say?” before completely floundering away.

Then, in the Ember Island Players, he shares a sweet moment with Toph, bitterly spitting out that

“...for me, [the play] takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

Toph, in turn, reveals the thoughtful side to her character, the side that is almost always hidden, telling Zuko that “you have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.”

And every one of these moments matter, because we see Zuko’s inner conflict (though this inner conflict does not exist to the extent at which it did at the first half of season 3) and its evolution. First, with Aang, he remains skeptical and disillusioned. Second, with Sokka, his longing for Iroh’s love and presence manifests itself in him imitating his uncle as well as he can. Third, with Toph, he finally admits everything he had been afraid of ever since he saw Iroh’s empty prison cell during the eclipse -- that Iroh is disappointed in him. That Iroh hates him. That Iroh will never accept him again.

And for a moment, with Toph’s encouraging response and Zuko’s resulting little smile, it appears as though Zuko’s internal conflict arc is concluded. But we are wrong -- because in the finale of the show, we are given the true climax and resolution to Zuko’s insecurities, fears, and self-loathing. And who is it that he shares this moment with?

It speaks volumes about Zuko and Katara’s relationship that Katara is the one to comfort Zuko in this scene, in that last moment of hesitation right before he steps inside his uncle’s tent, preparing himself to see his uncle as a completely changed person. As a person who now knows humility and unconditional love. And remember -- selecting Katara to be in this scene is a deliberate narrative choice because ATLA was written by a team of producers and writers, and perhaps even if it wasn’t, it becomes a powerful moment in which Zuko’s arc with Iroh reaches its peak.

Simply having Katara there in this scene already has such a great narrative impact, but then the show gives us some of the most intimate dialogue that Zuko, a naturally closed-off person, delivers (although his emotional outbursts may suggest otherwise, Zuko tends to hide most of his internally conflicting feelings to himself. Hence, he is always able to dramatically monologue about his honor, his country, and his throne -- because he’s trying to convince himself to play a part. But that’s another meta for another day).

Let’s begin by comparing Toph and Zuko’s dialogue with Katara and Zuko’s dialogue because both see the other party validating Zuko’s feelings.

(Warning: the following section plunges deep into the realm of speculation and overanalyzing dialogue. Regarding literature or any media, there are countless ways to interpret the source material, and this is simply one way it could be done.)

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue:

Toph: Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!

Zuko: You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.

Toph: Yeah, that's pretty great!

Zuko: But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.

_____

Although Toph and Zuko’s dynamic is one of the most innocent and understanding throughout the show, the conversation begins with Toph joking with a negative connotation -- that “even [Zuko seemed] more down than usual, and that’s saying something!” Thus, the conversation opener is not one that allows for Zuko to easily be emotionally vulnerable, and so he responds bitterly and angrily -- “You don’t get it, it’s different for you” and “...and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.” By stating that their portrayals in the shows were different, Zuko mentally places a wall between himself and Toph, saying that “[Toph doesn’t] get it.” Then, the rhetorical question Zuko asks himself and the shortness with which he answers the question showcases a forceful and biting tone, indicating that he is covering up his inner turmoil with vehemence. This tendency is something we’ve seen Zuko default to before, whenever he had shouted the oft-mocked “I must restore my honor!” lines in response to a few introspective questions Iroh had asked (though once again, that’s another meta for another day). Now, let’s examine the remainder of their conversation.

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.

Zuko: How do you know?

Toph: Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.

Zuko: Really?

Toph: Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.

Zuko: Oh, sorry.

_____

Here we see Toph and Zuko’s conversation take a more serious turn as Toph becomes more sincere. Zuko, however, is still full of self-doubt as he is constantly questioning Toph with “how do you know?” and “really” and “oh, sorry.”

(featured up above: Zuko looking dejected and doubtful.)

Still, the conversation ends on a sweet and inspiring note:

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud.

_____

Hence, though Zuko and Toph’s conversation displays a heartening and hopeful dynamic, Zuko is ultimately still guarded for the majority of their conversation. Now, let’s look at how Katara approaches Zuko in the Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

_____

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters Dialogue:

Katara: Are you okay?

Zuko: No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

Katara: Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?

Zuko: More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.

_____

In direct contrast to the conversation opener with Toph, Katara begins to engage Zuko with an openly concerned question. And even though Katara never disappointed an Iroh-figure in her life in the way Zuko has, Zuko immediately doesn’t close himself off from her, he doesn’t create a wall that prevents him from revealing his deepest fears to her. During this scene, he neither sounds bitter or angry -- he sounds lost, doubtful, and afraid (perhaps even afraid to hope). This shift in tone is blatant in his voice (thanks to Dante Basco’s line delivery) but even with nothing but the written dialogue, we can note the difference in which he describes his turmoil to Toph and as compared to Katara:

With Toph: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

With Katara: “No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?”

With Katara, the underlying bitterness from his conversation with Toph is toned down to the point of nonexistence, though a part of it is still there. With Toph, Zuko says, “it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,” which is a rather incensed statement. Meanwhile, by saying, “no, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it,” Zuko directly addresses his self-loathing without the use of language such as “shoves them back in my face,” the latter of which is reminiscent of how individuals may unthinkingly reveal information in a sudden emotional outburst.

Then, when Katara asks him if he’s sorry for what he did, the words come easily to Zuko, the most easily he admits to his own mistakes after three years of not admitting anything truthful to himself: “More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.”

And Katara, just as Toph did, says with the utmost confidence and sincerity, “Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

This moment of affirmation that runs parallel between both dialogues is where Zuko’s responses begin to diverge. Whereas Zuko reacts to Toph with disbelief and doubt, this is how he reacts once he hears Katara’s words:

He takes Katara’s words to heart and accepts them. Because out of all the GAang, Katara is the one who knows the most about forgiving him, who most keenly feels the change he underwent since his betrayal in the catacombs. And so he stands, still nervous but no longer afraid, facing forward towards the future instead of back into his past.

Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is one of the most important ones throughout the entire show, so to see Katara play a pivotal role in a critical point in their dynamic shows just how important Katara’s character is to Zuko (and vice versa, though in here I do touch upon the former in more detail).

Although my analysis on the self-disclosure between Zuko and Katara may have run away from me a bit (due to my love for far-too-in-depth critical analysis), these all show an undeniable bond between Zuko and Katara, displaying a profound friendship rooted in narrative parallels, mutual understanding, and interwoven character arcs. Ultimately, their fulfillment of perceived similarities, pair rapport, and (the one I rambled most on) self-disclosure is what establishes Zuko and Katara as not just a strong platonic bond -- but one that has the potential to transition into a romantic one.

Thus concludes my essay on Zutara’s friendship and its connection with the initial stages of intimacy that are shared between both platonic and romantic bonds. After all that analysis, it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.

That being said, I will explore the possibility of a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara and how this connects to the latter stages of intimacy -- role-taking, interpersonal role fit, and dyadic crystallization -- in part 2 of this meta-analysis. Click on the link if you want to read it!

Part 2

Works Cited

(only partially in MLA 8 format because I want to live a little)

Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. By Clyde A. Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick. Link

“Nonverbal behavior in intimate interactions and intimate relationships.” By P.A Andersen, Laura K. Guerrero, & Susanne M. Jones. Link

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends’: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship.” By Laura K. Guerrero & Paul A. Mongeau. Link

The Psychology of Intimacy (The Guilford Series on Personal Relationships). By Karen J. Prager. Link

(If you check some of these links, you may note a few of these sources have been cited quite a few times. With just a bit more research, it appears possible to find a plethora of other sources to corroborate the theory of shared platonic-romantic intimacies.)

Thank you all for reading!

[runrundoyourstuff]

Redirection

(Avatar: the Last Airbender one-shot, rated: T, 2,015 words)

cn: for implied/referenced child abuse

--

He’s not explicitly invited to the Agni Kai, but no one attempts to hide it from him—though in retrospect, long after, once he finally has time to process, this fact will strike him as odd. Wouldn’t someone have expected him to protest, had he known? But then only Azula knew the depths of his ambivalence in Ba Sing Se, and had apparently elected to keep it hidden in her sleeves like so many of her plots, no doubt to brandish as a secret weapon should the need present itself.

In any case, when Zuko does hear of the duel, he must convince himself to attend. All the royals—(all the free royals)—will be there, after all. It’s an honor. The nobles in his father’s court would be suspicious if he weren’t present. And besides, though he hasn’t seen the inside of the arena since before his banishment, since he was a child, since...since he—since his father…since the day he got his scar, it’s not as though he’ll be fighting this time. (For that matter, he doesn’t yet know who is involved in this Agni Kai—just that one or both of the combatants is notable enough within Court for this to be an event.)

He manages to calm his trembling knees in time to enter the arena before the proceedings began, but just barely. Zuko wafts in, hands clenched at his sides, trying and failing not to think about what it looks like, how his uncle’s reputation for tardiness might have rubbed off on him—all the times Uncle had lingered behind at a port-of-call, delaying Zuko’s carefully crafted schedules, (you worry too much Prince Zuko, you should rest, a man needs his rest). But when he finds his seat in the section designated for the royal family, only Azula is there waiting for him.

“Where’s Father?”

Azula smirks. “Well, hello to you too, Zuzu. Here for the show?”

“Where is he?!”

Azula steadily moves her gaze to the platform in the center of the arena, and when Zuko follows it there, his hand finds the branded skin on his face, stomach tumbling out from within him, blood flushing like he imagines it would if the sun were to disappear from the sky.

Ozai stands there, elevated, ceremonial Agni Kai garnet draped around his bare shoulders, just as it had been three years ago.

Zuko inhales. “Who…?”

“Just watch, Dum-dum.”

But he doesn’t have to watch long. After a moment, two members of the Royal Guard appear, dragging a lump of a third person up onto the stage. They drop him there, bare-chested, clad only in ragged dueling pants because the Agni Kai sash falls from his shoulders as he hits the tile floor, and though he’s conscious, he doesn’t seem to have the strength to readjust his position.

Zuko cries out, leaping to his feet. “What’d they do to him?!”

“Really, Zuko, you’re causing a scene.”

If anyone turns toward him at his outburst, Zuko doesn’t see it. His focus is singularly on the platform. The guards seem to laugh as they retreat from the stage and leave the man there—Zuko can tell even beneath their masks, people have been looking at him that body language for years: the way their chests rise and fall, how they tilt their heads back like they don’t have a care in the Agni-forsaken world. They’re looking at him and laughing, like they don’t care that this is what’s become of the Dragon of the West, who used to be their Crown Prince, their general, their hero, like they think it’s funny...

“Azula!” he demands.

“Perhaps he was simply always feebler than you remember.”

“He was not! The only reason he didn’t destroy us in Ba Sing Se is because he wanted to give the Avatar time to get away—”

Azula raises an eyebrow. “I thought the Avatar was dead.”

“—they did something to him! Drugged him, or beat him, or something—don’t you care?!”

She shrugs. “He’s a traitor.”

“He’s our uncle!”

“I guess I’m just not as sentimental as you are, Zuzu.”

“But why—” On the stage below, Ozai looms over his brother, burying him in a dark shadow. “Why is he...Is Father going to duel him?”

“It’s not going to be much of a duel, if you ask me.” A pause, and then she continues. “You didn’t think Father would let treachery like Uncle’s go unpunished, did you?”

“But…” But he’s his brother. The words die on Zuko’s lips. Yes, Uncle’s his brother. And Ursa was his wife, and what did that matter? And…

Blood rushes to his face, and it burns—it burns—like it’s on fire.

Uncle is on his knees, and it looks almost like a prostration.

And I was his son.

Ozai doesn’t even bother moving to the starting position, just shrugs the ceremonial garnet off his shoulders to signal his intent to begin. “Well, brother,” he smirks in a voice loud enough for the entire arena to hear. “You have betrayed your Nation and your Fire Lord. Will you fight for your honor?”

Uncle just barely manages to lift his head. If he says anything, it’s too faint for Zuko to hear.

“Sad,” Ozai continues, projecting, raising his hands with his voice. “That this is what has become of the famed Dragon of the West. And to think that this country once thought that you would be their ruler.”

Something in Zuko’s chest lurches, like it’s trying to escape, to run from the fire it knows is coming, that lives in its muscle memory. Family sticks together, Uncle had told Zuko once, had shown him patiently, over-and over-again every day for three long years, even when Zuko screamed that he didn’t want to see it.

Family sticks together. Family does not raise hands to each other with the sort of glint that is currently in his father’s eyes and speak gleefully about it. Family does not orchestrate public duels and give whatever orders are necessary to ensure that those duels are just for show.

This is wrong. Even if—if—Uncle is a traitor, this is wrong. Uncle is Father’s brother. Uncle is on his knees. This is Uncle. And Ozai looms over him, flames growing in his palms, and Zuko’s fingers clench in his lap, his head, his chest buzz...This is wrong.

(And if this is wrong…)

(Zuko had been on his knees once. Ozai had towered, fire growing in his hands…)

(If this is wrong…)

“My Nation is fortunate,” Ozai smiles, angling his hands toward his brother. “That I am here to purge it of such weakness.”

And then whatever it is that had been screaming in Zuko’s chest bursts forth, mingles with all the lingering doubts that have been living in his mind the past several weeks since his return home. And Zuko doesn’t know what he is about to do until he does it, springs to his feet in the most honored seats of the arena, and yells in a voice as loud as Ozai’s so that there is no one in the entire stadium who will not be able to hear: “Stop!”

This time, when all eyes turn to him, Zuko feels them. But he doesn’t move his own gaze from his father—who has turned toward him, smile fading from his face, flames flaring in his hands—and it’s just enough to make the man hesitate. But the flame is still growing, and Ozai has a history of venting his red-hot anger onto any in the vicinity. (Not anyonein the vicinity, Zuko will think later—much later, after he has time to process, not only this moment but everything else too—Ozai has a history of unleashing his anger on the most vulnerable target. Once, that was Zuko. Now, it’s Iroh.)

In the present, Zuko doesn’t waste the opportunity. He propels himself forward into the air and toward the stage with Firebending, and it’s not until he’s halfway there that he feels the fear sink in his stomach, not until he lands in front of Uncle that he feels the tremble behind his knees. But he remains upright, and whatever he feels, he wills his face to be the same level of impassive as it was behind the Blue Spirit mask before he’d cast it away.

“Zuko...no…” Uncle’s voice is a murmur behind him, but there are resonances of a moment of when it was much stronger. You never think these things through!

And it’s true, he knows now, no matter what he’d yelled under that lake. But sometimes you can’t think things through, or you’ll be paralyzed, and sometimes there’s no time, you just have to act…

He clenches his fist.

“Why does it not come as a surprise that you’re a traitor too?” Ozai snarls. “I should have killed you three years ago and spared myself the embarrassment!”

“Maybe,” Zuko hears himself say, and to his surprise his voice is steady. “But you didn’t.” A pause, and then: “Leave my uncle alone.”

“Treachery must be punished. He will fight for his honor!”

“This isn't a fight! It's a show! You know you can’t beat him for real, so you staged this whole thing just so the country will think you look stronger than you are!”

“Zuko…” Uncle’s whispers grow desperate, but Zuko doesn’t turn.

Ozai’s nostrils flare. “How dare—”

“It’s just another lie! Like all the lies you told us about how the Fire Nation is the greatest civilization in the world! Like the lies you were willing to tell to all those young soldiers you’ve sent to die…”

“Zuko…”

“You will pay for this insolence—”

“But the truth is that we’re not the greatest country in the world! And the truth is that Uncle Iroh is better than you are! He’s stronger, he’s a better father, and he would have been a better Fire Lord!”

It’s not a surprise when the lightning comes barreling toward him from his father’s fingers. And even though Zuko knows the technique in theory, executing it in practice brings him precariously close to reckoning with his own mortality. He catches the blast with his fingers, and it pushes him backward. He just manages to dig his heels into the floor and stop himself before he ploughs into Uncle and spills the electricity onto him—which would defeat the entire purpose of this whole charade—but it festers in his own arm, like it’s singeing it from the inside, and it’s going to kill him, it’s going to kill him, Agni, he’s going to die, and he didn’t think he’d care, or that that would scare him, not after everything, but he...he doesn’t want…

“Breathe...Zuko.”

Uncle’s voice is nothing more than a rasp, but it grounds him nonetheless. Zuko inhales, then releases, lightning still festering at his fingertips.

“Focus...your...energy. In...Down...Up…Out.”

Another breath, and then Zuko obeys, just like Uncle taught him in the ruins of forgotten that Earth Kingdom town, a lifetime ago now, it seems. And when he lets the lightning fly out of his other arm, he angles it upward, toward the roof of the arena, where it explodes on contact in a fiery burst.

Later, Zuko will think with a wry irony that he ought to make an offering in gratitude to Agni that things always seem to blow up in his face, because it’s that fact that ultimately seems to save him. The center of the ceiling of the stadium collapses as it detonates, and for the second time in minutes, Zuko doesn’t waste the opportunity that presents itself. In the chaos that ensues as chunks of tile and plaster falls to the stage between him and Ozai, as all the Royal Guard is occupied with protecting their monarch from falling debris, Zuko hauls Uncle onto his shoulders and flees.

It’s not until they’re well beyond not only the palace, but indeed the very walls of the city itself that he brings himself to look back.

[ao3]

[ceescedasticity]

outline: jin guangyao’s hoarding problem, part 1

I am STILL NOT WRITING THIS.

Cast:

Jin Guangyao, schemer extraordinaire. He’s got a lot on his plate right now, scheming for the Jin Sect’s advancement, scheming for his personal advancement within the Jin Sect, trying to get Qin Cangye to let him marry his daughter, trying to juggle his sworn brothers, wrangling weird 13-year-old Mo Xuanyu who his father dropped on him as some sort of power play, wrangling Xue Yang insofar as it is possible to do so, promoting research into demonic cultivation, and on and on and on. Jin Guangyao, as no one will ever let him forget, was not born rich; he understands that you can’t just go throwing things out when you might want them again later; and in this universe he’s let that reluctance to discard outweigh his caution.

Wen Ning, conscious fierce corpse. Keeping Wen Ning was always the plan, even when plans to control him didn’t quite work out. Because he’s a really good conscious fierce corpse. Maybe they’ll work out controlling him someday. Maybe he’ll be good as an example. They went to a fair amount of trouble faking his destruction, so no sense wasting that. (Wen Ning, for his part, is… not happy. Even when they’re not trying to control him, he is not happy. But he is not making trouble if he can avoid it, because…)

Wen Qing, really outstanding doctor. Jin Guangyao cannot understand why his father was planning to execute her – she’s such a good doctor! Groundbreaking! Sure, she has some inconvenient morals, but she’s simple enough to leverage, just grab some family members – Wen Ruohan kept her in line for years. Why would Jin Guangshan not try to obtain such a valuable resource? It’s probably because when he looks at a woman he stops after the boobs. Anyway, now Jin Guangyao has the opportunity, and it’s easier to fake her death than Wen Ning’s (just have to kill a heavily bruised woman in Wen robes, rather than something that passes for a fierce corpse). She can be kept in line just by threatening Wen Ning’s non-life as the stick, and for a carrot, taking the nails out of his head when they’re not actively experimenting. (Wen Qing is sick to her stomach. Although not everything she’s been required to do is bad–)

(Off stage, but alive, is Jiang Yanli. Jin Guangyao likes her more than he likes most of the Jin Sect, he didn’t want her dead – and whisking her away to a mystery doctor who saved her life means Jiang Wanyin owes him. Big. —He doesn't want her angling for any kind of power/regency after Jin Guangshan dies, so he's been making sure there are plenty of rumors that she's physically and mentally fragile, and his leverage over Yunmeng Jiang is better with her in Jinlintai so he's angling to maintain that, too, but unlike that other idea he's not blackmailing her. This is probably a mistake.)

Wei Wuxian, Yiling Laozu. Smuggled back to Jinlintai at least half dead, and really wanted to get all the way there. Didn’t really change his mind on that until after he got conscious enough to process that (a) Wen Qing and Wen Ning were alive(ish), and might be punished if Wen Qing couldn’t save him; (b) Jiang Yanli is alive, but in Jinlintai, which means not safe. Even after he’s trying, though, he’s in for a long convalescence – especially without a core. (Which Jin Guangyao has figured out and, worse, figured out the reason for.) Wei Wuxian is claiming he couldn’t possibly recreate the Stygian Tiger Seal outside the Burial Grounds and/or without all the pieces and/or while he’s still so weak. The last one is true, the others are… not completely false? He certainly couldn't make it like it was before.

Mo Xuanyu, weird 13-year-old. Inexplicably if usefully devoted to Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao doesn’t trust him to do more than some very basic reading on demonic cultivation, but when the secret prison acquired the gravely wounded Wei Wuxian it became important to have someone other than Xue Yang checking on things, refreshing supplies, and getting Jin Guangyao immediately if necessary. Mo Xuanyu also likes Wei Wuxian, and Wen Qing, and Wen Ning, and (for some reason) Xue Yang. Not enough to impact his devotion to Jin Guangyao, though.

Xue Yang, spite elemental. (This Xue Yang has never worked for Wen Ruohan – I may keep the Yin Iron in this universe mashup, it just had no particular connection to Xue Yang.) Half feral (at least). Demonic cultivation natural talent. Delighted to have the opportunity to independently recreate the Stygian Tiger Seal, not that it stops him badgering Wei Wuxian for tips. Big fan of “better to ask forgiveness than permission”. No, that’s not it. Big fan of “better to say ‘yeah, I did it, what are you gonna do about it?’ than ask permission.”

WQ, WN, and WWX are full-time imprisoned in some sort of secret dungeon/basement/hidden complex in Carp Tower. MXY and XY are in and out a lot. JGY less so because he has a busy schedule.

So, moving forward:

Wen Qing is trying to keep WWX alive. WWX is cooperating halfheartedly.

Xue Yang is trying to recreate the Stygian Tiger Seal. WWX is cooperating hundredthheartedly.

JGY picks up that WWX is not being entirely sincere in his cooperation. He decides to show that his threats have teeth, in a very mild way. He plays some 'healing music' for JYL.

JYL has a bad week.

WWX becomes somewhat more cooperative.

(JYL is aware enough of her own body and mind and has enough of an ear for music to say — extremely politely, and not implying (or suspecting!) any malice — that she thinks JGY may need a little more practice.)

(JGY decides he needs to be a little more conservative with his use of the Collection of Turmoil, and maybe, say, not teach any bits of it to people who are not definitely on his side, no matter how innocent and gullible he thinks they are.)

(Nie Sect's trip to the Sword Hall can't be said to go well by any stretch of the imagination, but it's not an almost-TPK either. No one unwittingly kills or spiritually poisons anyone they love. It doesn't make much difference in the timetable of NMJ's decline, really. It doesn't make as much of a difference as you might expect in the timetable of NHS Figuring Shit Out, later on. It does make a difference in the experience level and cohesiveness of Nie Sect's inner-ring disciples. It does make a difference in NHS's emotional health and support structure. It may in fact make a difference in whether JGY is going to get out of all this alive. But that's later.)

When the reconstructed Seal is mostly complete, Xue Yang takes off to Yueyang to "test" it. He may or may not have informed JGY first. Let's go with 'not' (not out of any concern that he'd disapprove, Xue Yang just doesn't want to bother).

So here's the thing. The Seal is not a loyal tool. Insofar as it has a consciousness and feelings it's kind of pissed off at WWX anyway. But he is still its original creator, and this time he's alive, and this time he was extorted into helping reconstruct it, and this time — unlike when he was forging it the first time — revenge doesn't even really make the motivation list, so it's not quite the same reconstructed Seal. It's not a benevolent tool. It doesn't like people. It doesn't want to help people. It doesn't have principles. If Xue Yang just stood outside and ordered fierce corpses to slaughter everyone in the Chang compound, the Seal would have cooperated eagerly.

But obviously Xue Yang isn't about to just stand outside, he goes in and gets his hands dirty, and when he tries to use the Seal to directly, personally attack a child, something goes… sideways. There's an explosion which blows a large hole in the side of the house. Some of the corpses attack Xue Yang. The Seal levitates six meters up into the air and won't come down until grabbed. It's very annoying. Xue Yang makes sure there's no one with a golden core left and sets the building on fire and leaves in a very bad mood.

There are only like a dozen survivors total, no adult cultivators, and the one surviving kid who saw him is too young to give any kind of useful witness statement, but still.

He goes back to the basement and blames WWX for the unsatisfactory performance of the Seal. WWX's response of "Good" didn't deescalate things any, but he probably would have gotten the shit kicked out of him regardless.

Someone interrupts before he can actually beat WWX to death (which had better not have been WWX's plan, says WQ). Right. No core, already seriously injured. Xue Yang gets Wen Qing, who has to do surgery for flail chest. Xue Yang makes a surprisingly good surgical assistant.

JGY gets back from wherever he was (Qinghe playing fake!Clarity? Laoling trying to get a date?) and is like. I was gone for two days.

Xue Yang does not deny almost accidentally killing the only available Yiling Laozu, but blames it on WWX being too fragile due to being coreless and injured.

Maybe if we gave him someone else's core he would be sturdier?

Jin Guangyao doesn't immediately shoot it down. Wen Qing tries to — WWX would never survive the procedure in his current condition, and the donor has to be willing, does JGY really want to sacrifice someone loyal for this questionable gamble?

No, he doesn't. At least not right now.

Xue Yang says he's taking time off. JGY tells him not to get caught.

He gets caught.

Trial, commutation, official imprisonment, and now Xue Yang is stuck in the basement with the others basically full-time. He's seriously trying to convince Wen Qing to teach him surgery. She's appalled, but on the other hand would surgical skills make him any more dangerous than he already is? And it keeps him from sticking nails in Wen Ning's head.

While she's distracted Wei Wuxian is trying and failing to convince Wen Ning and/or Mo Xuanyu that he is recovered enough from the flail chest to walk around. He is failing.

Jin Guangyao is spending a lot of time in Qinghe…

[blookmallow]

hoouhgh i finally watched hereditary even though i knew it would upset me but i really, really liked midsommar and wanted to give it a shot but it Did, In Fact, Definitely Fucking Upset Me :’) im alright though im just like well! i am never watching That again 

anyway it was. really interesting but i feel like i did not understand it at all. heres me trying to untangle some thoughts 

- I don’t totally understand the significance of the dollhouse/miniature parallels. something something “a way to control her life/the things happening to her when she Can’t control them” annie is unable to express feelings, so she expresses them in her art (her miniatures) like charlie expresses through drawing 

she makes models about her trauma, it seems to be how she processes them, she has models of her mother in hospice care, her mother like an apparition at the bedroom door, and then a graphic model of charlie’s death 

- paint seems to be a significant symbol in some places. maybe... paint represents Emotion/grief? annie normally paints her models very, very delicately and carefully, cautiously controlling and keeping the strokes tiny and precise. she spills the paint before she goes to joan’s house for the first time - maybe a spilling of emotion, trauma pouring out in an uncontrolled mess, so it serves as the catalyst for her deciding she needs help (or, if you go with the “everything was predetermined” concept, she spilled the paint specifically to point her to the paper so she would call joan, i guess) 

in her sleepwalking state in the past, annie covered herself and her children with paint thinner as a flame accelerant  - something to make emotions lesser, to water them down, ultimately to destroy them?

then when she runs into joan again (another Probably Not Coincidence) it’s as she’s coming out of the craft store (possibly, buying more paint, possibly even replacing the spilled paint with something else)

- flame is an obvious important symbol too: charlie sees her grandmother engulfed in flame, her parents are constantly concerned that she’ll freeze because she sleeps in the tree house without heaters and goes out without a coat (possibly she doesn’t feel the cold because of. hell. i dont know) the seance rituals start with a candle flame, dumping water on annie stops the possession 

annie slept in the tree house surrounded in heaters, she did feel the cold and tried to protect herself from it, and she thought she was the link to whatever was terrorizing her family but instead of killing her, burning the sketchbook killed her husband instead, so i think that might be implying that annie is not in fact what’s actually causing all of this. im guessing the book burned her at first to stop her from destroying it - as charlie is really the cause, and probably needs it - and then burned the. father whose name i have forgotten instead of her out of spite or to send a “this isn’t about you, and you cannot stop me” message 

- i think the death of the pigeon may have been what awakened something in charlie, she cuts off its head and draws the severed head with a crown, both foreshadowing what is about to happen to her, and that she. i guess, is actually. hell royalty. or whatever the fuck that was 

she mentions her grandmother wanted her to be a boy, but since peter was born first, i dont understand why this... demon thing passed on to charlie, the second child, instead of the firstborn, who was a boy, which is apparently the demon’s preference. maybe something to do with the fact that annie did not want him and actively tried to miscarry him fucked up the. whatever it is that causes the rebirth

I really just don’t buy that charlie was always a hell demon and never loved anyone in her family? it seems like it took her over or awakened in her as time went on, annie mentions her mother had DID so it’s possible that charlie and. whatever the demon’s name is are in fact two different entities that both lived within charlie (most likely when the grandmother died, it moved to charlie because of the connection charlie had with her. still dont know why charlie was the one groomed into this rather than peter, though) 

- there’s a lot of passively Wanting To Die or seeing the inevitability of death; charlie wandered off, slept in the cold, didn’t bring a coat, didn’t bring her epi pen, wasn’t careful about nuts, possibly Knew or at least subconsciously knew that body, that self, was necessarily going to die, and didn’t ultimately matter. she asks her mother “who will take care of me when you die” and weirdly instead of saying something like “don’t worry, I won’t die for a long time” or something reassuring, annie just says “well, then your father will, or peter” almost implying somewhere subconsciously she knows she’s going to die too

when charlie died, annie in her grief screamed that she wanted to die too. her unconscious self tried to kill her children and herself before, and may have tried to strangle peter (it’s unclear if that actually happened or if it was the demon and peter thought it was his mother or if it was a hallucination/nightmare altogether) and she actively tried to miscarry to prevent peter from being born in the first place 

im not sure what exactly that means. could be that annie subconsciously could feel the trauma and tragedy that was, inevitably, coming for her and her family and was trying to kill them all to save them from it (but was horrified on realizing this, as she didn’t consciously know this) but her attempts always failed because the demon stopped her from denying fate 

 - it’s very odd to me that the father is never included in these incidents, though. we see almost nothing of his own emotional self or grief. the demon never affects him at all until the moment of his death and even then it feels like he was only killed to hurt annie and peter 

we see his anger, but it comes out like annoyance rather than grief, we don’t see him break down until way, way later when he’s alone in a car with his unconscious son (he makes a sudden stop, and. nothing happens, but it’s possible something in the physical act of... almost getting in an accident, almost having That Happen Again, himself, might have snapped something in him)

then they come home, and annie goes from relief that her husband in the front seat is okay, to immediate panic realizing, once again, her child is unresponsive in the back seat with a head injury (though obviously way less severe. he uh. he still had a head)

so. parallels. i lost where i was going with that thought. the demon doesn’t seem interested in the father at all and he seems to be completely emotionally disconnected from his family and his life and im not sure what purpose that serves

- on predestination: charlie’s treehouse may have always been a cult temple (then, did sleeping there affect her spiritually/mentally, or did she want to sleep there because the demon was already in her?) 

we don’t know the extent of joan’s involvement in their lives. she knew annie’s mother, so she’s been involved The Whole Goddamn Time, but we don’t know how far that influence goes. she could have had a hand in putting the nuts in the cake somehow (knew someone there, recommended the recipe, something). peter swerves because there was a dead animal in the road - joan and/or the other cultists could have put it there. joan probably was waiting for annie at the grief counseling group and could have followed her to the craft store to stage an “incidental” meet up (annie is the one who notices her and calls out to her, but she could have just been making herself visible expecting that she would probably see her - if she keeps showing up places and reaching out to her first, annie might become suspicious that she’s doing it on purpose) 

she gives annie the means to talk to her daughter’s spirit, knowing that she’s broken and desperate and will likely do it (probably knowing she’s a medium already, too), knowing that this will make contact with the demon (the incantation she gives her is probably specifically for that purpose - since annie can’t read the language, she wouldn’t know this. the moral here is don’t read weird ancient latin texts out loud) , and knowing that annie will then blame herself for what she perceives is what she’s done to her family - when really, it was the plan all along 

anyway. uh. that sure was a lot 

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Grass is Greener // Sibling Shenanigans 1/3

“I might be getting a divorce!” The signs of truth were there. Kairi had a cat carrier in each hand, Astrophe, the princess too good for a carrier, laid across her chest with claws dug into her shoulder, and the long strap of a duffel bag crossing her chest at a slant with the bag itself balanced against a cocked hip. Kairi’s shadow and liner were smudged and eyes too bright. Her smile was forced. Her hair was coiled in a complicated knot, but with several strands fallen out and curling slightly with damp and stuck to her face and neck,  and she was wearing a short black sequined dress with tennis shoes and no socks. She was a definite picture. 

However, her lines were delivered with the air of someone announcing that they had won an all expenses paid trip to Port Royal, and not that the life they had built was crumbling around them, so Axel thought he could be excused when it was with an exasperated sigh and a, “What happened this time?” that he welcomed his little sister through his front door and not a sympathetic and concerned, “Tell me what happened.”

“You know how Vanitas was supposed to be gone this weekend?” The carriers were already on the floor and Kairi and Vanitas’s manx, Ali, had, by all evidence Axel could see, turned to smoke and reformed outside the wire barred door as soon as it was set on the ground before Kairi had even bent to unlatch it, Astrophe running after his sister. “Is Stuffing shut in the bedroom?” All of Kairi’s cats knew Turkey was monarch of the realm, and they were proud aunts and uncles to the litter (Pumpkin, Gravy, Cranberry, Potato, and Biscuit, all of whom were supposed to have gone on to new homes by now, but Kairi suspected were to become permanent fixtures since Axel had not been able to “find the time” to secure appropriate homes so far since “They can’t just go to anyone, Kairi, and I’m not sending them to your broken home either!”) but Kairi’s old wirehair cat, Tillac, who Axel assumed was in the other carrier, and Stuffing had a rivalry that stretched back years. 

Axel didn’t even bother to nod, opting instead to ask, “Is Xion okay?” as he closed the door and then addressed his sister’s other question while bending to pick up the shoes she’d already kicked off so he could place them on the shoe rack by the door which she never remembered to do.  “No, I don’t keep Stuffing shut up unless I’m expecting Tilly, which I wasn’t.” The last was said with a pointed look. “I see you had your hands full, but would it have killed you to call?”

Kairi gaped at him. “Axel, I just took the kids and left my husband, and you manage to take his side by implying the only reason we could have argued is if I had planned something untoward in his absence, insult one of my dearest friends, imply you care more about Xion than your own sister, and whine about how my showing up is going to impact the plans I know you don’t have all in the space of seconds? Axel, your baby sister is distraught!” 

“Yeah, but is Xion okay?” Axel repeated without pause. “She’s sensitive.” He dropped the shoes in their proper place and let out a belated snort. “Untoward? Are you using a word of the day calendar so you can impress the hubby’s friends?”

Kairi released Tillac to go harass Stuffing until Turkey put her in her place, stood up, and tugged the hem of her dress down and readjusted the bodice to try and wrangle everything into a more presentable place. “Not all of us spend our days communicating only in grunts, brother dear.”

“Hey!” Axel gasped in mock offense. “I’m trying my best to teach Demyx human speech, but sometimes I have to meet him halfway.” He opened up his arms and gestured with his hands for Kairi to come hug him, an olive branch she immediately accepted, tripping over the cat carriers to throw herself in his arms. “Now tell me what happened and we can get drunk, or I’ll go threaten the bastard with a weed whacker or something.”  He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. There wasn’t enough information yet to establish whether this was a you’ll work it out moment or a you really shouldn’t go back this time with a side of you could do so much better, so he left no follow up.

“It’s really not that bad,” were Kairi’s first words and Axel could have provided commentary, but led her over the couch instead. Presumably, that meant Xion was fine. “It’s my fault. I picked a fight.”

He waited a second for more details, and, when none came, he urged her along. “Atta girl. Knock some teeth out? He has too many.”

“Axel, please.”

“Didja, blacken one of those creepy gold eyes?” Axel forced an exaggerated shudder to go with his words. He didn’t have to do much to make it happen. He’d found Vanitas unnerving ever since Kairi introduced them (or, rather, failed to, since “Guess who got married in Vegas?” did not an introduction make).

“His eyes are hazel and they are gorgeous.” Kairi sighed, picking up a wandering kitten from the arm of the couch and sitting them on her lap to cuddle (Pumpkin or Cranberry, but with Kairi’s hand covering the the top of their head while she scritched their scalp, there was no way to check the marking).

“Sure, if you’re a hawk. I bet all the lady hawks go crazy.”

“That’s my husband,” Kairi warned.

“Yeah, but for how much longer?” Axel scoffed, brushing his sister’s fight with husband off again, something he still wasn’t sure he wouldn’t regret later, though Kairi’s glare was weak enough he was confident that he would be called to post bail because Kairi and Vanitas were picked up for indecent acts in the back seat of a convertible in the middle of a car show by next week. It wasn’t like this was the first time Kairi had shown up on his door, claiming things might be over. There was a bit of a girl who cried wolf situation at this stage. He picked up his half finished beer from the coffee table and took a swig. “And I’m just saying you have bad taste. Xion excluded. Do you want to put your duffel  and the carriers in the guest room?”

“I don’t have bad taste. You have bad taste,” Kairi fired back and Axel couldn’t help but picture her at eight years old with a missing tooth and a haircut she’d given herself because he had dared her. “Your last boyfriend was literally a serial killer.”

“You have to kill three people before its serial and he was only convicted of manslaughter. Honestly, it’s like you never had a bad relationship before.” Axel’s easygoing reply of the standard line didn’t match the sudden flicker out and fade of amusement from his eyes.

“You do better with bored housewives.” Kairi patted his arm, and it was almost like an apology. “I’ll get the luggage in a minute.”

“I do fantastic with bored housewives,” Axel corrected, “but I’m usually only interested in their husbands.”

“Oh! Speaking of,” Kairi tucked her legs beneath her and sat up straighter, predatory look entering her eyes, “You started work for Xion’s brother-in-law today, right?”

Kairi smiled suddenly with too many teeth--maybe she was well suited to her husband after all--and Axel found it took all his focus to swallow his beer without choking. It occurred to him that the thermostat might have been broken, because the room was getting humid but the air hadn’t kicked on. “Weren’t you distraught?” He furrowed his brow like a good concerned big brother. “Didn’t you have a fight with your husband? You may be getting divorced. I know we don’t talk about things that bother us like a normal family, thanks Dad, but that’s upsetting news! I’m distraught! My ears are wide open.” He took one of Kairi’s hands in both of his and there was a meow of protest from Pumpkin. “I’m listening.”

Kairi pulled away and resumed important kitten petting duties. Unlike before, where her petulance was for Axel  taking things too lightly, her frustration now seemed to be at internal sources. “Sora invited me away for the weekend. Most of that duffel was already packed.”

“What about Xion?” Axel whined his bias. “She was in…” Axel made an okay symbol with his thumb and index finger and whistled between his teeth for effect, “fine form when I saw her earlier. She was wearing this petal pink bodycon number so short I saw that starfish you’re always talking about, and I think she cut her hair again, or at least did some different product. She was wearing that perfume you got her too. I thought you guys had something planned tonight.”

“Maybe she was going out with Ventus.” Kairi was dismissive enough in tone, but her lips pursed when they were done with the words and Pumpkin made a complaining noise like he’d been squeezed. 

“Who?” Axel oozed false innocence and confusion.

“Her husband...fiancé...boyfriend...whatever,” Kairi waved vaguely, more obviously disgruntled by the moment.

“Not whatever. Just because you skipped a few steps with ol’ Vani the Vain, doesn’t mean there is a distinct difference between those three things, typically one that matters to most people.”

“Just those in the relationship,” Kairi countered.

“And those with...what’s the word?” Axel pretended to think as Pumpkin abandoned Kairi in favor of him, and two more cats came bolting into the room as if summoned, sensing Dad was handing out love. “Morals? Boundaries? Restraint?”

“Van and I do have restraints…” Kairi hummed,  trailing off once the joke was made and clicking her tongue to lure Potatoes to her.

Axel howled protest and screwed up his face, playing along, glad Kairi was distracted again before she could get sad. “ Too much information even for us!”  When Kairi giggled--with grateful eyes that said she wasn’t really that amused, but was trying because she saw he was working hard to keep things light from the moment she’d walked in the door--Axel declared that part of his job done and reoriented back to allowing Kairi to tell her story. “So Vanitas was supposed to be gone so you made plans with Sora, and you were just going to leave the cats? “

“Xion was going to check in on the cats,” Kairi clarified the important part.

“You were going to have Xion catsit while you went traipsing off with the flavor of the month?” Axel stretched his mouth and widened his eyes, daring his face to stick in the clowning expression. “You’ll never get her to leave Airvent and marry you instead that way!”

“I’m already married...for now,” Kairi tokenly defended her marriage.

“Doesn’t count. He didn’t get my blessing...and he never will.” Axel was quick on both parts of the rejoinder.

Kairi ignored him as he expected her to and started to confess in a rush, “So Vanitas announces that he’s not going to the conference anymore; something about him finding out some of the last second substitutions in presenters and articles being presented when his was declined in the peer review stage...He was still published, but it’s a whole political thing with being featured in the conference. Anyway, he had to boycott on principle, so he’s home, and he told me to get ready because we were going out to dinner and we were going to order multiple bottles of wine and get kicked out of our favorite restaurant because he’s already a disgrace…his words. He gave me the opening, and I took it, because I’m panicked Sora is going to show up at the door.”

Axel raised his hand like an obedient child in a classroom to be called on, but just went ahead and interrupted even when he was ignored. “Isn’t Sora the yoga guy? Couldn’t he defeat Vani Vain with the power of friendship and love?” He hadn’t met Sora. Kairi was quite adamant that he wasn’t allowed to after he’d been a little more than politely amused at her stories. It was a fair ask since Kairi had, rightly, assumed that the only reasons Axel wanted to meet Sora were to see if he could make him cry for the fun of it, warn him off his sister, or, if he proved to be as attractive as Kairi said, sleep with him himself.

Kairi continued as if the interruption hadn’t happened. “I don’t take it right away. I get dressed, start to do my hair, and then I start throwing things from the vanity and yelling about how he can’t just order me to doll up like that’s all I am, his doll, waiting pretty on a shelf, ready to play with when he remembers I’m there. I point out he never asked me to come to the convention with him, and after we had such fun at last years’.” Axel snorted, knowing that story, and the pattern of being blocked out continued,  “And I know how many spouses come along now. I think I accused him of having an affair. I really don’t know. I half blacked out. A spirit took over, and when I came to, I was packing a bag and insulting his paper because he still wasn’t getting angry enough fast enough to justify me leaving.”

“It sounds like you handled the situation brilliantly,” Axel complimented. “So did you call Sora and tell him to pick you up here, or is the weekend off? Am I on catsitting and husband deflection duty?” He wasn’t seeing a problem yet, not even something that warranted Kairi’s overdramatic divorce line, though a troubling thought did occur to him. “If he smacked you, shoved you, laid a hand on you in any way when you started yelling at him, I will do more than threaten him with the chainsaw. He’s dead. Demyx will help me hide the body. He knows a guy, and he owes me. They both owe me. Plus, I learned some tricks from my ex.” He softened his concern and threats he was prepared to follow through with in jokes. 

“Stop thinking the worst of him at every opportunity,” Kairi snapped, and Potatoes rubbed his head against her stomach to calm her. “He just...took some low blows of his own and things escalated more quickly than I wanted them to.” She shifted uncomfortably.

“Like what?” Axel responded carefully, not wanting to supply guesses when it was a losing game, even if he came from the angle of listing reasons anything Vanitas could have said was untrue.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kairi insisted, which was a prime sign that it did. “I just might be here a few days for real after Sora and I get back. He’s coming to pick me up in an hour.”

Axel was silent a moment, assessing whether he should push Kairi to talk or hope the weekend healed the wounds, then nodded and gently lifted all cats away from his body. “An hour doesn’t give us much time. Go sit at the dining room table. Go!” He shooed her.

Kairi complied without asking for explanation and Axel went into the kitchen, grabbing two wine glasses down from the cabinet and an open half a red from the fridge. On impulse, he grabbed a few empty beer bottles from his recycling pile as well and stuck them under his arms. He continued their conversation as he rejoined his sister. “Do I get to meet Sora or is he supposed to stay outside and honk? Put your head down on the table and look listless.” He poured the barest hint of wine in the bottom of the glass he put in front of Kairi, and did the same for the one he put in his spot at the table. He arranged the empty beer bottles with the eye of an artist. “Let me go get my phone. Look sadder, but not so sad it’s unbelievable.” 

“If you want to meet Sora, take one of his classes.”

Axel snapped a series of pictures to choose from, talking to himself, “She’s doing fine, Vanitas. We spent the evening talking. Of course. I’ll send you a picture.” Raising his voice a few decibels, he gestured back to the living room. “Go lie down on the couch, cover yourself with the fleece from the armchair,  put a cat or two on your chest, and close your eyes. We’ll shoot, ‘don’t come over now, Van, she’s sleeping,’ next and then you can change into sweats and grab some board games from the closet. I’m assuming you’ll be too mad to answer phone calls from him anyway, but do you want to take your hair down and get it wet in the sink for some, ‘No, she just got out of the shower, why are you so creepy needing evidence?’ safety shots?”

“You’re seriously the best brother ever,” Kairi leaned up on tiptoes and pecked Axel’s cheek on her way into the living room.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Roxas was watching you today from the upstairs window,” Kairi tossed out nonchalantly. “Xion texted me about it. He wants to smell your hair and cook you dinner.”

“He what?” Axel stuttered and nearly fumbled his phone. So much for a steady hand and unflappable cool. The Howe he hadn’t met yet, having spoken with Isa Howe during his initial looks around and estimates for the yard, had come outside after Xion had left, and all but admitted to watching him at least as long as to comment on Xion detouring to chat with him a minute before she went to her car, and, sure, Axel had purposefully peeled off his shirt and rolled down his overalls to his waist after Roxas had went inside, hoping he was still watching, but he hadn’t seen any proof, and their brief conversation had spent a moment on shock of shared acquaintances (“You know Xion? I knew you were Kairi’s brother--she recommended you--so it makes sense since they’re close, but that’s wild. Small world.”)  and then stayed in the professional (apparently Roxas had been the one who had done the sketches Isa had shown Axel of what the garden in the backyard was supposed to look like when he was done). Maybe Axel had noticed that Roxas had eyes the exact color blue as the delphinium hybrid he had presented at his last flower show (had to keep up the street cred that he was more than just a lawn service guy and a tree and hedge trimmer somehow--even if that sort of thing was his bread and butter), and that he was pretty cut since he hadn’t bothered with a shirt when he ran outside. And perhaps, when the sun caught his hair he looked like an angel out of a renaissance painting. None of that meant anything though.

“He wants to cook you dinner,”Kairi repeated, cavalier. “Be gentle with him. I think it would be his first time out of the box in awhile.”

“I’m not…” Axel pinched the bridge of his nose, counting to keep from getting angry and only managing to count the problems he had with what Kairi was suggesting. “Is this why you recommended me to your friend? Are you my pimp now?”

“He needs a fling.” Kairi had the nerve to shrug. “You are an accomplished flinger. The only person you’re seeing right now is Demyx, and he’s just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms….He is still just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms, right?”

“Most nights.” Axel left it ambiguous whether Demyx spent the odd night elsewhere or whether the friend lines sometimes blurred. “And my best tree trimmer.”

“That’s what I heard from Ienzo.” Kairi proved the Emberson comedic timing lived well in her. “So what’s the problem with Xion and I wanting to give Roxas a hot gardener fantasy to brighten up his life? He’s a friend.”

“So many things are wrong with that, Thalassa Shell.” In times so serious, Axel had no choice but to bring out family pet names. 

A beat passed. Kairi didn’t apologize for the idea like she was supposed to. Axel didn’t harp on it more. Another question fought its way out of his throat. “Incidentally though, did he say anything else about me?”

[svynakee]

Mulan (2020)’s idiotic cultural appropriation of chi is really stupid

Qi is a real thing. Not in the way that oxygen, or electromagnetic waves, are real. You cannot find an atom of qi. You cannot measure qi with a device. Qi is real the way romance, or luck, are real. And in the same way that the romance most people experience isn’t the same romance that is depicted in movies of passionate, melodramatic, wild love, the qi in wuxia and other genres is not the qi experienced in real life.

Now, when it comes to romance movies, the concept of love at first sight does not need to be established. It is accepted that there can exist, in the setting of the story, an unseen powerful force that drives strangers together on the whims of fate. There doesn’t need to be a professor pointing at a blackboard explaining the mechanics of destiny, and the evolution of true love, for an audience to willingly accept that love at first sight can be real for the sake of the story. In this way, it is unnecessary for there to be a martial arts master in every story that uses qi to explain what qi is, why it exists and how humans have learned to harness it.

However, the individual story’s take on qi should be established. If there are organised, respected, powerful sects teaching students to use qi, then assumptions can be made about how society views qi, how developed the study of qi is, the place of qi users in this world. If qi users are almost mythical and tend to hide in seclusion, assumptions can be made. If the emperor’s strongest generals proudly use qi in battle, assumptions can be made. If a teacher cautions against improper usage of qi because it can result in both physical and mental harm to the practitioner, assumptions can be made. And even if nobody bats an eye at the fact that the duke’s eldest son and the third imperial prince are doing flying leaps across rooftops on market day, then assumptions can be made about qi, such as ‘using qi is so common that the price of cabbage is more interesting than watching someone doing magic parkour’.

Simply saying ‘qi exists and is for warriors’ does a poor job of worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is important because it sets the stage, gives context to the stakes, lends weight to the protagonist’s struggles. What does Mulan (2020) tell us about…’chi’? One important thing to note is that in Disney’s Mulan (2020), chi is referred to as a skill; ‘he has strong chi’, ‘he has a talent for soccer’. In Chinese works, qi is the energy, the skill is qigong, which is qi (air) + gong (effort). A martial artist therefore has strong qi, or skill in qigong. They are not skilled in qi. In the following points, I will be discussing Disney’s idea of chi, so I will use their terminology.

Only men can use chi, but chi is also available to women.

Not being true to yourself poisons your chi.

Chi is for warriors, implying that women cannot be warriors (this is actually uncommon in Chinese wuxia stories, more common in historical ones where QIGONG AND WITCHES DO NOT EXIST).

The existence of a woman with chi powers is unusual and a cause for alarm, but not unusual enough that the Emperor dismisses the idea after hearing ONE REPORT FROM A RANDOM SOLDIER.

Those in the Imperial army are trained, briefly, to use chi – this is shaky because I think the commander talks about how chi can be used, and Honghui’s compliment to Mulan implies that her usage of chi is what makes them equals, meaning Honghui can also use it.

People recognise that chi allows humans to do super gymnastics and have enhanced reflexes, enough that when the villagers see a young Mulan doing these things, they are freaked out. Or the ancient Chinese really hated backflips.

Despite women using chi being so taboo, Mulan’s father decided to teach his daughter chi just because she was born with a high midichlorian count- I mean, high chi. When she displays chi abilities in front of other villagers, her mother gets angry and tells him to stop teaching her. Yet Mulan still retains her chi proficiency into adulthood, meaning either her father continued to teach her, or chi mastery lasts for a lifetime. In that way, using chi is a bit like riding a bicycle.

Rourans can use chi to run up walls, but Mulan’s friends are only shown to do this very briefly near the end of the movie, with normal Imperial soldiers failing to use this ability.

The Emperor of China is a proficient chi user. His chi lets him use drapery as weapons (actually a common technique in wuxia, the idea being that qi is personal energy and a skilled practitioner can channel their energy into any object, giving them sharp edges or huge kinetic force).

When a woman can use chi, she is a witch. And this is where this becomes HILARIOUS. Because there IS a witch in Mulan (2020).

Xian Lang is a witch.

In her introductory scene, Xian Lang is shown POSSESSING A MAN, her physical form completely disappearing as she does this. She then nails two long range kills using throwing stars and engages in melee combat, easily defeating Imperial guards despite being outnumbered. She is later shown to turn into a bird, or a large swarm of bats. She never turns into multiple birds or a single bat.

Xian Lang was an outcast as a young girl because of her chi. This is why she joined the Rourans, despite being Chinese (as evidenced by her name). She believes that Bori Khan will make a world where girls like her, born with strong chi, will not be outcasts.

Bori Khan treats Xian Lang horribly, being prejudiced against her gender and dismissing her strength. The Rourans in general also hate her for being a witch.

Xian Lang saw through Mulan’s disguise easily and also identifies that she has strong chi.

Oh and Chinese stories rarely have witches, Xian Lang should’ve been an nugui, kind of like an evil spirit or demoness but from Chinese folklore.

Here’s the thing that I find the funniest about the world Mulan (2020) has created.

Women should not be allowed to use chi. It has given all the proof for this rule to exist, and none to dissuade me from agreeing with it. Because the movie gives us two women with strong chi. Mulan, who actively suppresses her chi, and presumably only learns to use it during her training with the army. So, she is a chi beginner. The other woman is Xian Lang, who is immensely strong despite not looking much older than Mulan. She is probably the strongest character in the story, and definitely a chi master. The only other contenders for the title of strongest chi – not gender restricted – are the Emperor and the Commander. I believe the Emperor is stronger because Bori Khan lures him into a trap and still loses men trying to capture him. He restrains the Emperor with a ton of thick ropes. This guy is terrified of the Emperor and from the few times we see the Emperor fight? I don’t blame Bori Khan at all.

And yet the Emperor never possesses people. He doesn’t turn into a bird, or a swarm of bats, even when these would have FREED HIM AND SAVED HIS COUNTRY. Notably, none of this is ever stated as being against chi law. None of these abilities are stated to be the result of evil experimentation, forbidden techniques or any other taboo method. In the worldbuilding of Mulan (2020), Xian Lang’s chi is only evil because she is evil. And she is only evil because she is a woman with strong chi.

Mulan is a woman with strong chi.

The implication, the weird mess that Mulan (2020) has made, is that All Women With Strong Chi Become Witches. And men CANNOT become witches. Men cannot possess others. Men cannot shapeshift. Men can possibly learn to use throwing stars, but this is debatable. Women can not only do all these things, women are FATED to do so. If a woman is born with strong chi she becomes a witch.

And I don’t blame the ancient Chinese for wanting to suppress witchcraft! It looks hecking dangerous! They can possess anyone. They can break into secure spaces by shapeshifting. Sure, it’s not ethical to deny women access to chi because they could potentially become supervillains, but I can see why they went to that conclusion. The movie does nothing to address this. Mulan doesn’t vow to teach girls to use chi for good. But that’s FINE, because Xian Lang only became evil because of sexism, which is solved now, so cue the happy ending.

Even disregarding how the message of the movie is “girls get bullied for being born weird unless they prove themselves worthy of basic respect”, what is this WORLDBUILDING. Is Mulan in danger of poisoning her chi again and becoming a witch? If chi is for warriors, does that mean civilians can’t use chi? What if a farmer is born with strong chi, do we exile him until he becomes a warlock for the Rourans? How often are girls born with chi and how many of them suppress it correctly? Are they killed if they fail? Do they just join a circus and masquerade as acrobats?

Disney, chi is not a magic you can just throw around! It’s not bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! If you have a magical world, you need to teach the audience about the magical world. INSTEAD OF JUST POINTING. AT ANOTHER CULTURE. AND SAYING “THIS IS REPRESENTATION AND IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS TAKE IT UP WITH THEM”. Yes, qi is part of my culture! CHI. IS. NOT. Its your abomination, stop using OUR STORIES and OUR TRADITIONS as a shield for YOUR SHODDY, LAZY, IDIOTIC WRITING.

Anyway all they had to do was not add ‘chi’ and have Mulan doing normal martial arts for fun or something. Just make her a normal tomboy. Sometimes girls like sport it doesn’t have to be because they were born with baseball magic.

[gotmilk5101520]

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 7 To Catch a Changeling

How to catch a changeling for idiots.

“All right”

“Do your worst”

The Sword of Daylight. A weapon to kill trolls and cutting watermelon.

“What is this mockery?” Me seeing stupid shit.

“You want to take it for a spin?”

*Cries in Troll*

Yeah, no one will notice.

“Ridiculous garment” Agree.

“Sorry. Draal was training Jim”

“Draal?” “Training?”

“Yeah, he sorta made a home in my basement to look out for the place”

“Of course. When a troll is defeated in combat, it’s completely natural for them to take refuge in the victor’s domicile” So, this happened before?

And it’s gone.

“It was, eh... It was out of focus, and i did forget to turn on the flash” Once again, i went back.

And the flash was on.

Have some Jim is done with this bushigal face.

“I’ve not left the Heartstone in a century” This is what it’s like to be force to go somewhere, cause they say it’ll be worth it. But it’s really not. Wow Vendel is becoming the most relatable character in this series.

“I hate conspiracies”

“That is why i am dedicated to rooting them out” If Trump hired Blinky to root out all the conspiracies of him Blinky will end up making them worse for Trump. #LetTrumphireBlinky

“If it’s everyone, it must be a conspiracy!” I would say Donald Trump, but that would be insult to Blinky.

“Later”

“Oh, no. Claire”

“Claire? A changeling?” Changeling Claire au.

“No. When i thought i was gonna die, i wrote Claire a letter, too, and told her everything”

“Everything?’

“Everything” And what is this “Everything” you speak of? What did you write?

“There you are!” Mission: Avoid Claire. Mission Fail.

“You didn’t run into Miss. Janeth yet, did you?”

“Is she mad i couldn’t make rehearsal yesterday?

“Something kinda came up”

“Heh heh” Good of the episode to put flashbacks in for me, so i don’t have to do it myself. Also Jim implies that last episode happened yesterday (Out of universe, yeah it did) But i thought about it and today would be Monday, and yesterday was Sunday. Jim and Draal’s fight happened on a school day meaning that it was Friday. Jim and Toby getting arrested and Jim making the letters were on a Thursday, and Jim and Toby finding out about Nomura was a Wednesday. And then the school trip to the museum was a Tuesday.

“Steve filled in. That’s what understudies are for, right?”

“Uh, you haven’t heard?

“Steve isn’t the understudy anymore. You are”

“She’s tired of you never showing up”

“So she made Steve Romeo. And trust me, Steve isn’t happy about it either”

“As i was saying, every algebraic equation requires balance”

“Not unlike, say, actors in an ensemble!”

“For instance”

“Every piece of this equation plays an important role”

“That is, unless variable X”

“is a zero”

“X has no role”

“X doesn’t show up”

“X lets the equation down”

“Then, the entire play-”

“I mean, equation- falls part!”

“It becomes impossible!”

“Mr. Lake”

“How would you solve this mathematical problem”

Yeah i’m at a lost.

“Promoting Steve to Romeo wasn’t your idea. Plus, he’s been trying to leave” “Tell me about it. After class he told me off. Steve told me off. Steve. Of all people”

“And, honestly, i’d rather be on stage with you”

I’ve seen that face before. Marinette made that face, too, when Adrien touched her shoulder at the end of The Evillustrator.

New meme template.

“So, we find another changeling”

“Stop saying that so loudly”

“Do you mind?”

“Whatever” Like i said, his name is Changeling.

“Ailment or curse?”

“Oi, numbskull! I;m supposed to answer it!”

“But i already did answer it” Wait are Rot and Gut like one troll sharing a body or no?

“You’re gonna need a gaggletack”

“Unfortunately, you see, we’re a bit short on those. Very hard to get”

“But i got a bag of them right here”

“What in the world? If you’ll excuse us for one moment”

“Ey, what are you doing? I’m trying to drive up the price over here”

“I thought we were trying to help these nice lads” Rot doesn’t understand Capitalism. Good boy.

“Gaggletack?”

“Rare artifact”

“Exceedingly rare. An object of great mystery”

“It’s a horseshoe”

“Made of pure iron”

“Why would you put such a precious thing on a horse’s foot?” Great, what other things are “Rare artifacts” to trolls?

“Beware. Changelings are swapped with their human counterparts at birth. So, it is likely these troll-pretenders have dwelt amongst you for decades”

“They could be anyone”

“Used car salesmen”

“Tax collectors”

“Television executives”

“Donald Trump”

“Yes, especially Donald Trump”

Nope.

Nope.

“Shall i hear more, or shall i speak-”

“Steve!”

“Hey! Who did that? And can i leave the play now?” “No”

Another new meme template.

Nope, nope, and nope.

“You, uh, try this out on Mr. Strickler?”

“Come on. You really think he is one?”

Yes.

So close.

“Here you go, Mr. Strickler. Here’s your horseshoe back”

“Thank you, Miss. Nunez, but that belongs to Mr. Lake”

“Oh. Well that would explain the flying horseshoes” Wait “Flying horseshoes”? You mean Claire noticed the horseshoe that hit Steve earlier?

“So not going to ask” Jim should look on the bright side of this. Claire touched the gaggletack, that means she’s not a changeling, and that the real reason she invited him to her house was not to secretly kill him. Oh wait. That’s not till later.

“Claire” “Still here” When people forget you’re here too. Trust me, i know that feeling.

“You’re still coming home with me, right?”

“Oh, right!”

“Claire and i are gonna go too her house... for math stuff”

Toby is surprised by how that escalated quickly. And it’s not even the second half of season 1 yet.

Series creator, director of The Shape of Water, and the man that said “Monster Fucker Rights” Guillermo Del Toro. Voicing a dentist.

“For the glory of Merlin”

“Daylight is mine to make babies ogle”

“He really likes you” Jim would be a great dad. Wink wink Claire. Wink wink.

“Wonder what he’s thinking about right now” “No idea what’s going through my brothers mind right now” “I’m going to get kidnapped next episode and you will never see me again for a long time. Goo goo”

‘Wow, this novocaine you numbed my mouth with is really strong”

“I can’t even feel my hands”

“That’s because i didn’t inject you with novocaine, dear”

“I hit you up with a potent paralyzer”

“Why would you do that?”

“Well, it’s not everyday someone comes in with a gaggletack” The moment i saw this.

“Why don’t i take that, sweetie? It’s not very hygienic” I knew she was a changeling.

“See, the equation only contains powers of X that are non-negative integers”

“Does that makes sense”

“Is it supposed to?”

“Nah. That’s why it’s called algebra” Algebra never makes sense. It makes Kingdom Hearts make sense. #ReplacealgebrawithKingdomHearts

“I realized you’ve got a lot more going on than people think”

“I do”

“I do?” You may now kiss the bride. Okay guys, Jim and Claire are married.

“You can’t just write a letter like this and not expect a conversation. If you had written something like “I’ve most likely been slaughtered by a troll” I would’ve said: Understandable, have a nice day” “Wait, really?” “No! You are lucky, you’re cute and everything” “I... Uh... It’s... Wait what?” “Nothing”

“You have to battle monsters?”

“Saving the world in which we know? What monsters are you battling? Are they fuckable?” “Well- Wait what?” “Uh... What monsters are you battling?”

Have some Claire being done with her (Not yet, almost, but not really, not for another season) boyfriend’s bushigal.

“I mean, we all have stuff we’ve got to go through”

“But are you in some kind of trouble?”

“I... Yeah! Metaphoric”

“I was...”

“In an exploring stage”

“Not successful” Let it be known that Claire thinks Jim has depression, if not suicidal tendencies. And i did not get this from the wiki or TvTropes.

“There’s some sentimental stuff at the end which i thought was... kinda sweet” Umm. Can we read the full letter? I want to know what he said.

“Really?”

“If you ever need someone to talk to about “the monsters” you can talk to me”

“It can be our secret” Yeah. There are going to be a lot of secrets you two will be sharing. Also, you two could’ve kissed here as well. But whatever you tried i guess.

“Halt, changeling!”

“Or else my giant friend will tear you limb from limb!”

“Maybe later” These things always happens.

“Oh, it burns!”

“Oh, it’s just a painting” Paintings don’t kill trolls confirm.

Huh. After an entire episode of using it on everyone, and making me think it didn’t work, it actually does work.

“What’s that?” “Laughing gas”

*Laughs in Troll*

“Laughs in Troll*

“Hello? Wait how did you get my number?”

“Hey! What’s up, Nunez?”

“Hey Colby”

“Someone named Woby?” Claire can’t remember Toby’s name.

“Fighting monsters again?”

“Who are you, Jim Lake” Claire is getting sus.

Imagine walking into this.

“Perish, you worm!” “Wait, before you kill me, i have something to ask. You know Nomura, right?” “Yes” “Well she has a history with a troll named Draal. Do you know what their history is?” “No, this is the first time i’m hearing about it” “Oh, okay. Thank you. You can die now” “You’re welcome. Wait what?”

“Do you have some magic artifact that can clean this mess?”

“Yes. I believe it’s called a Tobias” Translation: “Clean it yourself”

“It appears Nomura has gotten her way”

“Another changeling has been chosen”

“And look who it is” “Enrich? Enquran? Enquin?” “Oh, for the love of. It says Enrique!” “Oh. Who’s that?” “Claire Nunez’s little brother!” “Which one is Claire again?” “The one you haven’t met!” “Well no wonder i don’t know who that is. I never met them”

Anyone is a changeling. Maybe i’m a changeling.

So who’s the worst babysitter? Jim or Marinette?

[bxllafanficc]

What lies within our voice

Part one.

Summary: The hottest current singing competition in your country; Beyond The Voice, is taking contestants for this years new season. And you’re competing, something you’ve dreamed of since you were a little kid. Your best friend Natasha joins you on your audition day with the assurance that everything’s going to go just as planned. As in; you preform, get all the standing ovations from the jury and then you go out to celebrate. But it doesn’t quite work like that, does it? Especially not when a handsome blue eyed singer with angelic pipes (and dare I say, jackass?) enters the competition and gives you some serious problems; both on a competitive and on a personal level.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: implied smut, smut later on as the story progresses, Bucky’s kind of a prick at first glance, Natasha being cringeworthy,

Anyone will have to believe you when you say that you’re meant for this.

“Girl, you’re going to kill this! You’re the best singer here. The judges will find you irresistible!”

The stage and the cheer of a crowd is where you feel at home. Like you could do anything you put your mind to. If you only got the chance to show the world what you got to offer. That you belong on stage, to please a crowd.

That’s why you’re here. At the large entrance hall of the largest arena in your country, ready to perform your heart out at this years season of the hottest contest currently in the making; Beyond The Voice. The competition that will be your awakening as the artist you’ve dreamed to be for so long. Because already as a little girl, you used to sit in front of the tv with your best friend since diapers; Natasha. And oh, how you loved B.T.V. From the first season ever all the way to where you’re standing now. Here, ready to be a part of something you’ve set as a goal since years back. And so you have come here and along with you, brought your best friend so that you can live the dream together now all grown up.

“I have a hard time believing that, Nat. There are so many talented and attractive people here who want this too. And I don’t doubt for a second that there will be a lot of people putting on their best efforts here tonight.”

You scan the large groups of people in the hall, some pacing around nervously, others sitting down on benches and some awkwardly attempting to put on their best sides of themselves as the camera team sneaks through the crowds to shoot some interviews with the contestants.

The camera team has already been filming their interview with you, and if you should say it yourself, you had done the best possible out of the situation. To be yourself. No faces and no strained jokes, just plain you, unlike some of the other contestants you had seen earlier who seemingly failed to acknowledge the fabric of their shirt hiding their cleavage noticeably sliding down their shoulders until the producers felt the urge to cut because they ‘would need to censor that out’ somehow.

“Puh-lease! No one wants this as much as you do. And sure, there may be great singers here today, but no one has the pure and raw talent like you. Most of the people we’ve seen so far is clearly showing in their voices that they’ve taken dozens of singing lessons, and some not at all. Everyone here started out as a rookie but not you. You were born with it. I can confirm since I’ve known you so long. See, the only other people here skilled enough to put you up for a challenge is that guy performing for the jury right now. Look! He’s like the hunkier more brooding version of Josh Groban!”

You look towards the big screen displaying everything that’s going on in the auditions room. Right now there’s a guy in a deep blue suit performing “Being alive” originally sung by Stephen Sondheim from the musical Company; a classic and and a regularity when it comes to audition songs. Not a choice you would’ve gone with because of everyone before this man who’s chosen the song on previous seasons of Behind The Voice. But maybe his choice might just make this performance a success. That voice is unlike any other contestant you’ve seen today and those blue eyes are definitely moneymakers on their own. A handsome man to be sure, Nat wasn’t joking around with her comparison. And the look on the female judges faces reveals that the sexy mysterious persona he’s putting on is working its magic on them.

“Make me confused, mock me with praise. Let me be used, vary me days.”

“Goodness, that vibrato is to die for! There’s no effort displayed on his face what so ever and completely free from strained vocals or any muffled sounds from accidentally switching back to using his nose as support!”

“Right?! Maybe he’s good enough for my best gal right here? Why don’t you give it a try?” Nat elbows you and makes a rather inappropriate finger motion with her hands as her eyebrow raises and sinks in a provocative manner.

You quickly squeal with disapproval at her and slap her hands away, afraid that someone in the hall, or worse, the camera crew, had caught her little message.

“You know I’m too busy with focusing on my career for that kind of stuff. And he’s most likely to be my most skilled rival so far!”

“Somebody crowd me with love, somebody force me to care. Somebody let me come through, I’ll always be there, as frightened as you, to help us survive...”

The song finishes and the crowd in the hall is overwhelming with cheers and blowing whistles. It’s four yes out of four possible from the jury; a crystal clear win.

The man who just performed and the jury can clearly hear the crowd’s chanting from inside the studio, because everyone is glancing at the door with a low snicker.

“Next up, contestant #70!” One of the managers shouts from an opened door in the hall.

Your number is #71, which means your up after the shocked young girl beside you who were too caught up in the man singing just now that she completely forgot to prepare herself.

You stand up as well and make your way towards the door leading into the corridors of the audition’s studio, just to prepare yourself a little extra. Nat follows along and whispers encouraging nothings into your ear. She pats your shoulder and bumps into your crimson colored les paul hanging strapped inside its case on your back.

Right, you failed to mention your own audition song in the interview (and the genre you’ll be singing.)

You like to label yourself as a rock singer who also plays the electric guitar in the songs you perform. So you’ve carefully chosen the song “Anastasia” made by Slash, Myles Kennedy and The Conspirators. You’ve requested the assigned go-to band for this song because it simply can’t be done by just a guitar and a voice. Your song of choice is also going to give the judges the full feeling of how a concert later on with you as their star would look like. The vocals are great, showing off a lot of control but not too complicated so there’s room enough to blow the crowd and judge’s minds later on in the competition. The guitar isn’t essential for a singing competition like this but to aggregate with playing the guitar and singing at the time always gain some extra points since the judges will understand that your multitasking abilities will come in handy if and when a casual error or scene malfunction occurs in the life as an artist.

Of course you sing other genres as expected from you in this competition, but rock will forever be your go-to genre if you’re out to bedazzle the crowd or just want to dance your heart out in the living room (aggressive head banging is included).

But in your current situation, you had been so caught up in your own plans and preparation that you failed to acknowledge the man standing in front of you until it’s too late and you bump into something broad and rock hard.

The stranger gets pushed forwards and his friend catches him before he tumbles too far. A pair of blue eyes turns around to glare at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m so sorry! I was just-“ You stop and silence yourself. It’s the previous contestant with the angelic voice; and he does not look pleased.

“Shouldn’t a person competing in such a high prestige competition be aware of their surroundings always and watch where they’re going?” The man speaks up and turns to face you entirely, his blonde friend standing right beside him. Nat comes to join your side when she senses the tension going on.

“I... excuse me, I was just so caught up in my on thoughts that I didn’t notice you. People make mistakes and I’m sorry. It’s not that big of a deal.”

You fold your arms and try to flash a genuine smile at the stranger but he doesn’t seem affected by your words.

“So you’re a little self absorbed, you say? That’s not a personality trait I would go with in a competitive area like this but you do you, I guess.”

Is this man for real? He seemed like such a genuine and open guy when he sang but now when he’s in front of you, he’s just an asshole. Guess that’s what they call on point stage presence then.

“Hey now handsome, Aren’t you being a little rude to my friend? It was actually nothing more than a simple mistake. There’s nothing to feel personal about if your feelings got hurt. Happens to anybody.” Nat joins in and defends you, but she’s not paying attention to the blue eyed prick in front of her, but she’s eying the tall blondie beside him with careful eyes.

“Yeah, whatever.” The man answers with a huff and leaves, his friend following right behind him. As you watch them go, Blondie seemingly scolds his friend about something, though you never catch the response of your now-rival.

“Well that’s a waste. A beautiful brunette with magical eyes but on the inside he’s just a bastard with low-dick-energy.” Nat mumbles and snorts, pushing you towards the corridors you originally planned to make your way to. You giggle in response and bite your lip.

“With an attitude like that to a lady, he couldn’t possibly afford having a small dick, Nat. It must be pretty huge if it’s gonna make up for his frame of mind.”

Well, at least it’s not a must to befriend the other contestants, because then you would be forced into some kind of team building exercise with Mr. Jackass. The last thing you needed right now was excessive negativity in your life.

“Yeah, you go (Y/n)! Dab on them haters!” Nat yells and proceeds to do the dabbing motion with a cheerful expression.

The crowds standing near the two of you suddenly fall silent and eyes you with a judgements stare.

“Don’t you ever do that in public again or I will-“

“Contestant #71, you’re up!

The crowd stops glaring at you and shifts to clap their hands with encouragement, some even shouts stuff like ‘You can do this!’ Or ‘Go inside and kick some ass!’

You’re heart immediately takes two turns and beats like crazy in your chest; something it always does right before when you’re about to preform. Much to your gratitude, it always rolls off of you like a waterfall the second you start to sing.

‘This is your chance, (Y/n). You have to prove to everyone in the hall, to Nat, to yourself, to Jackass Ocean eyes, and most importantly the judges, that you’ve earned your right to be on this program and on television. Tonight we focus on getting the judges’ approval, tomorrow, a new goal will be set.’ The internal speech you go through with yourself echoes through your eardrums as you step into the audition’s studio and into the camera’s view.

[sleepymarmot]

Re-liveblog: eps. 22-23

[ep 22]

Ooh, Meng Yao as a spy makes more sense. I was thinking about Qing or Ning and wondering since when either of them counted as Xichen’s “old friend”.

I, of course, immediately accepted he was a spy, even before he was textually declared as such and only just appeared as WRH’s right-hand man. It wasn’t until very recently that my eyes were opened to the fact he did lure the army into a trap, a trap that he personally designed, and the battle was only won thanks to WWX and his secret weapon, which MY couldn’t have predicted, in the show at least. So what was his plan? Was it different in the book? Why would he put LXC in harm’s way, when MY|JGY defined their entire relationship by the avoidance of that? 

We’ll only see this in the flashback, but I find it very curious that he let NMJ see his true face and live. And in this episode, we see reaction shots of MY being concerned when NMJ is losing the fight -- and since nobody is looking at him, this reaction must be genuine. Which implies that he is not committed to the Wen cause, and is keeping in mind the consequences of their defeat. It would have been a very bad look for him if the allies won and discovered NMJ recently died in his custody. Too bad MY miscalculated how important the lives of those random Nie cultivators would be to NMJ. If only Meng Yao did anything but kill them, I suspect the course of his relationship with NMJ would run very different.

(It’s also funny that the battle plan includes Missiles That Make People Explode... That are used on a couple of redshirts and not, say, on anyone crucial to the allied war effort, and are never mentioned again. And then WWX stands around for about 10 more minutes before deciding to do something. The direction of this scene is... not the best.)

[ep 23]

It’s painful to watch the fear and reverence Meng Yao still holds for his father figure. The flinching, the hiding, the immediate supplication – when was the last time he felt safe and respected, before the bullying with the Nie and having to watch and even partake in atrocities with the Wen? I hope he can finally have some good things in his life now.

First of all, it’s very funny in retrospect to see myself constantly refer to NMJ as MY’s father figure. Well, it’s not my fault that I wasn’t shown the full scene where MY seductively strokes NMJ’s saber until much later! (Although to be completely fair, considering what JGY eventually did to his father, and what else he did in the tv show knowingly as opposed to accidentally in the novel, maybe these interpretations aren’t as incompatible.)

The interesting thing here is that I, once again, completely bought what MY was selling to NMJ with considerably less success... So my interpretation of this scene was completely off-base -- but on another level, I still agree with my initial assessment. 

I pitied MY when I thought the immediate overperformance of submission was his natural unfiltered reaction. Now I find it notable that this is the behavior he intentionally chooses -- both as the default survival mechanism over the course of his life, and in this specific scene. And in this scene, this behavior is targeted at and fine-tuned for LXC -- but not NMJ. 

The very first thing MY learned about LXC is his protective instinct over him. The best manipulation is not a lie but the truth with certain omissions; he is afraid for his life when a strong angry man he just wronged is brandishing a giant blade at him -- isn’t it nice to have another strong man whose protection you can guarantee by jumping behind his back and grasping at his clothes helplessly? I mean, it’s not much else he can do in this situation, and when I was watching for the first time, I of course didn’t know he had actually killed people in cold blood a few minutes ago, so in this context his apologetic attitude makes more sense, he should be acting like that. But LXC doesn’t know either, just like a first-time viewer! When MY triggers LXC’s protective instinct by crying for his help personally, presenting it as “us against them” (them as NMJ, in this case), LXC doesn’t see the manipulation. When MY shifts the blame on NMJ -- “It's as you can see. In the situation a moment ago, even if I explained, Clan Leader Nie wouldn’t believe me” -- NMJ sees through the bullshit and even laughs at it, but the spectacle isn’t for him, it's for LXC. And NMJ can see it -- he watches MY the damsel in distress tenderly touch the arm of his valiant defender, watches the tidy, polite, performative way MY kneels to apologize, and sighs -- he knows MY has won this round. At least over LXC. 

But in addition to what NMJ already knows and what MY has not repaired, MY makes another important mistake. This part of the scene will only be shown in the ep. 41 flashback, but MY still doesn’t understand NMJ’s worldview and apologizes only for insulting him personally. He not only fails to apologize for taking innocent lives, but tries to defend his decision. 

Does MY still care for NMJ? From his concern in the previous episode, it does seem so. Does MY still hope to regain NMJ’s favor? Maybe, but due to a combination of not understanding and not prioritizing NMJ, this is instead the scene where MY loses that favor forever. 

The above only applies to The Untamed. In the book (chapter 49) the dynamic is very different. When NMJ awakes, MY is carrying him and Baxia to safety alone. In the show, LXC is present from the beginning of the scene, and MY feels safe enough to play them against each other. In the book, he has no means to protect himself and is absolutely terrified. A very interesting paragraph:

He suddenly shouted, “ChiFeng-Zun!!! Don’t you understand that if I didn’t kill them, you’d be the one who died then?!!”

This was actually the same as saying, ‘I’m the one who saved your life so you can’t kill me or else it’d be immoral.’ However, Jin GuangYao was indeed worthy of his reputation. The same meaning but a different wording, and he was able to create a contained sense of frustration and a reserved sense of sorrow. As he had expected, Nie MingJue’s movement halted. Veins stood out under his forehead.

Having paused for a while, he clenched the hilt of his saber and shouted, “Very well! I’ll kill myself after I kill you!”

In the show, NMJ is already selfless and offended only on behalf of his murdered subordinates -- but the book takes it further, and he’s ready to sacrifice his own life if it means avenging them. Then the entire next paragraph is an almost comical chase where “one striked with madness and the other fled with madness”. When LXC finally showed up, “Meng Yao looked as if he had just seen a god from Heaven. He quickly scrambled over and hid behind the person’s back”. 

In other words, the full scene in the book reads almost exactly as the incomplete version of it in episode 23 looked to me on the first viewing. There’s no layer of manipulation -- Meng Yao simply is terrified of one man and seeks protection from another. And most of the dialogue is the same -- but just via the staging and acting choices, the scene gains a second, darker meaning. Which fits with the show’s tendency to villify Jin Guangyao. He can’t even beg for his life without it being a manipulation! What in the book was a wholly sympathetic moment of desperation for him, in the show is made calculated and two-faced.

Back to The Untamed!

LOVE how Xichen immediately calls him “A-Yao” while standing right between his shitty fathers

Lol, this was truly a moment for the ages! Too bad we only saw NMJ’s reaction (because he was in the frame with LXC) -- I really want a reaction shot from JGS to this!

The following private conversation between JGY and LXC caused me almost physical pain on rewatch... A note from this (third, I think?) viewing: the line “I’ve followed Clan Leader Nie for so long. I know his intentions. I have also never taken it to heart before” which is a perfect continuation of the previous scene: JGY paints NMJ as unreasonable, and himself as selfless and accommodating. Oh, and of course makes LXC say “No-no of course I didn’t mean you were evil!!” I also continue to feel like I’m the one stabbed in the heart by their sad smiles, when they both know something is ending but can’t or won’t talk about it -- but I’m preaching to the choir here.

What I do want to comment on is another thing missing from the written liveblog -- on my first viewing I apparently misunderstood the conclusion of the scene. What I thought was happening: JGY did proceed to enact the plan he described; the “old, weak, women, and children” he offers to send to Qiongqi Path were sent there, and were the same group of people later rescued by WWX and led to Burial Mounds; the small group of people JGY had with him under arrest are “those who really had a hand in the bloodshed” whom he openly proposes to execute, to which LXC agrees; and the twist at the end is that he relished in overseeing or even performing the execution himself, seemingly in a very brutal way. 

But according to this analysis, which I trust, JGY immediately broke his word and executed the innocent prisoners that he promised to only imprison. This would definitely make more sense for the drama of the scene and the meaningful look JGS gives him... But there were only few people under arrest in this scene, and none seemed too old or too young, and where in this case did the Wen remnants of the Qiongqi Path who latter committed the Burial Mounds exodus come from?

[Episodes 4&10]

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Tiger King 

“I think it would be fair to say that Carole is the Mother Teresa of cats” now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear

“I’d never been a person who had friends” statements like this always perplex me because surely there had to be ONE other person in however long you quantify childhood that you identified with. Like not one whole ass person? You’re not the only person who loves cats Carole

The juxtaposition between Carole Baskin’s “Animal Print for Animal Rights” and Joe Exotic’s “Tiger King underwear is our bestseller” is poetic cinema

Okay this isn’t a reflection of my opinions on this man but I Saw a Tiger is a good country ballad there I said it 

“When I first met Joe, I was like a month out of high school” well that’s not good

[Joe Exotic voice] Some people have tigers to cope

Doc Antle has only been on screen for 30 seconds and already he has made himself memorable by directing the film crew

Is Bhagavan Antle Indian in some way or did he just have a really intense Eat Pray Love journey with his guru

Also is he really a doctor orrrrrrrrr

“I am out there in the forefront so known of being this guy that is in love with big cats and has them love him back” please don’t tell me this guy does anything weird to his animals

“People only care about saving what affects them” 

“You can’t put a price on holding a baby tiger” but you did and apparently it’s $625 

The fact that multiple tigers have had albinism is probably a sign of major inbreeding practices at these zoos

You know, even if I ate meat*, there is no way I would be able to handle any kind of early prep stage of it bc seeing these cow carcasses is A Lot

*If u r reading this I don’t care if u eat meat leave me alone

“Animals just wasn’t enough, okay? So then I started adding magic” well that took an unexpected turn

I don’t know if it’s for real fair to criticize every person who has brought a big cat out in a public venue/talk show because I know at least like Dave Sal/moni is always going “THESE ANIMALS MAKE TERRIBLE PETS” 

As a sidenote from what I understand this Saff person keeps being deadnamed/misgendered throughout this documentary and I do not appreciate it 

“I grew up a professional cowboy in a family of professional cowboys” every sentence on this show is a journey

WHO is letting their ONE-YEAR-OLD lay on top of a tiger cub I know you’re at a zoo but BRUH

“It’s going to be a small Waco” to say this ON THE NEWS

This 2 minute stretch of episode is all the PSA anyone ever needs to never own a gun

Well I think we can all agree that PETA is a fucking mess

God this is like battle of the people who are terrible at doing anything good for animals

“What do you carry that gun for?” “People” AHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!!!!?!?

“I sleep with an AK-47 under my mattress, loaded, ready to roll” WILL SOMEONE HELP THE U.S. OF A

I was warned about this show and yet I was still not prepared for the level of UNHINGED it would be 

How in the FUCK does a place like this not have an on-site medic

“Why don’t you come back on another day” he said, after telling the public an employee had his arm taken off 

“I am never gonna financially recover from this” SURE JOE THIS IS ABOUT YOU

To go back to work a WEEK after getting your arm amputated... BRUH

“Any law that you think’s unfair or unjustice, it is your obligation, it is your responsibility to stand up against that bullshit law” well Thomas Jefferson was a slaveowner so clearly the injustice thing was relative for him

Traditionally don’t drug addictions fuel people choosing extreme paths with their life rather than the other way around? 

JKHGKJHGKJH this whole exchange:

Interviewer: What kind of doctor is he?

Maria: Mystical science.

Interviewer: Mystical science?

Maria, nodding: Yeah.

“How many wives does Doc Antle have?” I didn’t expect this but somehow it tracks

I’m gonna bet none of these people with subcontinental names have a single bit of South Asian heritage like okay “Moksha” and “Rajnee” did Bhagavan name you

On a more serious note: It’s really fucked up that these men keep meeting literal teenagers, making them their employees, and then also get into relationships with them. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough THIS IS NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY

It’s pretty weird that Doc Antle keeps emphasizing so frequently that one of his partners is Italian 

“I’m gonna go be a yoga animal trainer” ah, white people bullshit

“Goodbye. Don’t fall in love with your boss.” Good advice, Dad

I was not expecting all this subcontinental imagery to get under my skin this badly but what’s your problem dude can’t u be normal for like a second 

“You’re this garbage person, but if you listen to me, I’ll make you great” again this tracks but gross

Again, on a more serious note: if a partner ever talks to you this way please call a domestic abuse hotline 

Not that India is at all in a good place right now but I personally ban Doc Antle from ever entering India. Banned. Forever. I will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time

“I didn’t really know any better” is a really good way of summarizing what all of these younger partners have been through

Wow Carole is really explaining this abuse issue succinctly 

Antle’s indignation at being implied to be a cult leader despite the fact he is most definitely a cult leader

Joe’s story in his documentary is constantly “is this going to be a humanizing moment PSYCH it’s still terrible”

HOW IS THIS LEGAL PAY YOUR WORKERS A LIVING WAGE

Why is this husband-killing thing JUST A FOOTNOTE AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE OH MY GOD

We have deviated so far from the tiger thing oh my god

Why is the only man in this documentary who is faithful to his spouse the man that smuggled drugs inside of snakes

Every time I learn a new thing about a person in this documentary I have to reorient myself

This whole episode has been about this murder and I’m concerned that its title, “The Secret,” hasn’t even been revealed yet

GOD I take back what I said about I Saw Tiger, the concept of this song/music video for Here Kitty Kitty is so disturbing that this man deserves no credit whatsoever as a musician 

CAROLE WHY ARE YOU GIGGLING ABOUT THE MEAT GRINDER IT’S NOT FUNNY

Well I don’t have much to say about this episode other than yikes

I guess if you’re really out to spite someone stealing their brand and posting exactly the opposite of everything they stand for is an effective if weird and petty way to do it

Do you think the whole throne footage moment was a “Frankenstein realizing what he has wrought” kind of thing for Kirkham

This is really like watching a sports game of two teams you can’t stand except the sport is murder and other miscellaneous crime

If we’re all being real with ourselves the documentary filmmakers themselves MUST have had some issues going on to be able to walk into this situation and not do anything about it

This series really seems to present a compelling case for why every major figure in this documentary has potentially committed at least one terrible crime

Ah there’s the judgment from the woman in Florida I guess it’s two crimes with one stone

God these poor animals they do not deserve anything happening to them

While obviously people are enticed by the prospect of someone they’re into having an animal JUST GET AN ALREADY DOMESTICATED ANIMAL LIKE DOMESTICATED CATS AND DOGS EXIST OH MY GOD DO NOT USE EXOTIC PETS AS DATE BAIT

 It has been so long since we heard about Travis ngl I already forgot about him 

Why is every single person in this show SO OFF THE WALLS I mean I know why but also WHY

This documentary is also a treatise in the flaws of the U.S. prison system and how it sets up people up to fail or re-offend upon release

Take a shot every time a middle-aged man in this show mentions that he casually bought himself a big cat as a teen

“Joe was the entertainment director.... by title” I don’t think this was meant to be a burn but what a burn

I am almost certain I WATCHED that Last Week Tonight episode during that election and if u told me that 4-5 years later I would be rewatching that clip in a documentary about this man’s journey to being convicted for murder then I cannot say I wouldn’t be surprised but I would probably believe it 

Also I have to wonder what John Oliver thinks about being part of this 

[“Beyonce?” voice] Shaun Majumder?

Sidenote: Until this exact moment I thought of Shaun Majumder as Ben Mulroney even though Brian Mulroney is white as hell I guess I have faceblindness but only for Canadian talkshow personalities

I have been aware of this before now but the fact you can buy a GUN at a Walmart what in the FUCK is U.S.A. doing

Man does this campaign manager really want to take ownership of anything Joe Exotic has ever done

Ngl I was wondering why someone who had at one point clearly had a lot of money seemed to have such poor dental care access but meth certainly does explain it

I mean people can be attracted to both men and women (hello) but since Joe was fuelling their drug addictions since they were teenagers attraction is at best a null factor and at worst an added layer of terrible to this whole mess

It’s hard to even respond to this in a meaningful way because this is so fucked up. Don’t own guns.

“That was a big fucking mistake,” he said, right after someone explained that he was driving large groups of people in an enclosed space in a busy city with wild animals that could maim or kill them

Padlock penls piercing really does not seem like a first date bombshell

“We went to dinner and he never went home” well if that doesn’t set you with a sense of foreboding

TWO MONTHS AFTER WHAT IN THE HELL OH MY GOD also I hope Dillon is okay

“It wasn’t about the animals anymore” you THINK

“It was sort of funny when they started but it’s gotten really dark” how meta

Of all the reasons Joe could’ve abandoned his zoo, I really didn’t think embezzlement would be what pushed him

“He won’t tell anyone where he’s at, not even me,” said Dial, with no acknowledgement of the fact that Joe is also theoretically still married and would maybe tell his husband???

Oh Dillon spotted??? Yikes get out dude

Take a shot every time a white person who really doesn’t understand where the word “karma” comes from starts talking about karma as if it is the Law of Revenge

The fact this man brings a film crew out with him while he’s on the run evading a federal investigation..... incomprehensible

“Joe just wanted to put it in somebody’s name and continue to be the tiger queen, I mean king,” really REALLY of all the reasons to object to Joe you’re going to choose homophobia wow

Is this about an attempt to have someone murdered or does something happen to Baskin it is very unclear

This documentary has an interesting format of switching focus from crime to crime to crime 

“I’ve never been as proud of being married to anyone as I am being married to you” It’s weird to compliment your husband by comparing him to all your other husbands

How is the lesson for Jeff Lowe in this “let’s build another zoo” surely at that point it’s better to just cut your losses

[Garretson voice]: You should pay me for being a bro, dude

“I’m a libertarian, so technically, fuck the Feds,” I’ve never heard an intonation that better suits a conservative millennial 

I mean I don’t think it was advisable but honestly why are people surprised Joe took the stand isn’t delusions of grandeur kind of his thing

Sometimes it’s just that they’ve added in other moments to break up the awful immoral crimes with just run of the mill douchebaggery like the nanny/gym thing huh

I guess the silver lining in this is that potentially these big cat zoos will shut down but like where do these animals who have been raised in captivity go??? I don’t trust anyone in this documentary to not exploit them in some way ugh 

“Not a single animal benefited from this war,” correct, Saff

“I was wrapped up in having a zoo,” not really an excuse but ok