#I've been through enough already
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#I've been having a really nice time vibing to all sorts of stuff on here#having that balance between cp77 and other things I like helps a lot#makes me realize I need to change things about me#and try to do better to be a more positive light in a really dark environment#I don't want anything to do with fandom discourse anymore#I'm staying out of it#If I'm dragged in some shit for whatever stupid reason it's invisible to me I don't see it I don't care#I've been through enough already#so I'm done with it#anyways the weather is gorgeous tonight <3#back to reblogging cute aesthetics
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Oh oof I slipped and hit them with dark and serious beam. 😣
#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#Steven Universe#This had been WIP for almost a year and has been edited a bit some days ago#I did not pick up on it now to see if I can edit further though. I'm just going to leave this at that#This was inspired by a dream I had about watching a post-apocalyptic(?) anime movie about two survivors going through their lives#Apologies if that one was yapped before in this blog. Trying to keep repeating statements already mentioned before is a habit I hope to avo#Anyway. It was almost a dialogue-less movie. actually not sure if the characters did say anything#The movie doesn't explain stuff to you. You just got dropped in a world and experience with the main characters for a few days#In the dream after watching that movie I went to Tumblr (naturally. Lol) and theories about it popped out#And there was a connverse cross-over fanart of it. Lmao#One of the main characters was EXTREMELY calm and stoic. And the connverse AU version of it was that's because Steven is in a comma and his#Pink mode activated as a defense mechanism against the creatures around while in such a state. 😭 So Pink Steven from Change Your Mind#And like. Oh? What if he's conscious? He's just watching his body have a mind of it's own and he can't control it? That's kinda terrifying#And of course like most of my dreams about shows I enjoy. I woke up before I could dream more about it. 😵#my shiz#skedoobles#SU#SU AU#also implied Pink Steven I guess#pink Steven#I rage-stopped drawing this because I know what needed to be fixing but the fixing I've been doing isn't fixing it. Lol#I'm specially frustrated with Connie's bangs and eyes. And like. Man. I'm just going to stop it right there before I make it worse.#It does make sense she has a bad haircut given the dream's setting. But it was not decided that was exactly what this drawing is about.#Also I'd imagine Steven to be having a full beard if that was the case.#Anyway enough yapping I have to get some sleep. Lol#Ohmygod just realizeddd. the in-dream movie sounded like I was describing 'Angel's Egg' jshsjajdbdjfbskkd Haven't seen that film in a while#My dream's movie had a Studio Ghibli artstyle and pretty colorful. But I would actually really like the somber vibes in Angel's Egg#for this AU though. 🤔🤩🤩
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I got curious about the difference between the English dub and original Japanese voice acting...
#gregory horror show#judgement boy#ghs#I need to watch through more of the Japanese version but most of the characters I've heard appear to match pretty well?#Gregory's voice is quite a bit deeper in the Japanese version but it is a fitting voice! Very jarring to hear but I feel most fans#have already heard it during Gallery Tour!#JB appears in Gallery Tour briefly but not long enough for me to appreciate the difference.#Inko is so high pitched...#I really wonder what differences there are in dialogue between original and dub... but there doesn't seem to be a subtitled version#(which makes sense!)#It would be interesting to see if there is anything that could've been translated differently or if the dub is mostly accurate.#I will likely see nothing of the sort though. As many joys as there are in weird obscure things from 1999... there are sadnesses as well.
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Sorry for this super depressing poll but
#I've been thinking about it#I don't want Stan to suffer anymore. he already lost Ford once and his family the day his dad threw him out#so I don't want to think he has to live through Ford's death#I like to think that both live past 92 (after Ford had his heart attack)#and they die peacefully in their sleep in their own home. not a hospital (I've had enough irl deaths in hospitals let me have this)#also I like to think they die in close dates. Stan dies first and a few months later so does Ford#also yes Ford technically 'killed' Stan when he erased his memory but it was pretty 'brief'. he wasn't gone for 30 years and he knew he was#physically alive#Anyway I'd love to hear your thoughts#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#tw death mention#not art#poll#polls#tw death
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It has come to my attention that SOME OF YOU who read my last Byler post remain UNCONVINCED. So I'm gonna tack onto it this:
I'm older than fucking God and air, and I've been out and proud since 2007. Yes, I know what homophobia is, and yes, I know what queerbaiting is. I know about Supernatural and Teen Wolf and Sherlock and blahdyblahdyblah. No new ground is being covered here. I thought I made that clear in the original post, but, clearly, I did not.
I am aware of queerbaiting and homophobia, and I'm still wholeheartedly certain in Byler being canon anyway.
Okay, so there are three types of relationship I want to discuss when it comes to queerbaiting. They're all, like, "queer relationships that could have happened, but didn't".
First off, queer-coding. This isn't really a thing so much anymore, but it still crops up every once in a while. I'd argue it probably happens most with male-male relationships in family shows these days. First example that comes to mind is Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowny from Steven Universe. You can't make a relationship canon because some shitty overhead bastard overhead said no, so you get as close as you can without compromising the show. Can't make someone gay? Well, now their comedy routine is a blatant allegory for a romantic relationship. Boom-shaka-laka. This is something I don't see being a problem with regards to Stranger Things, but I want it to be there as contrast, a demonstration of one of many things queerbaiting is not. However, one could argue that, thus far, Will Byers is, canonically, queer-coded. It's pretty fucking heavily implied in the show, and the creators have confirmed it, and you're gonna be able to see it if you're not FUCKING BLIND, but word of god is not technically canon which means that interviews don't technically make something canon, blahdyblahdyblahdyblah, technicalities, Robin has been explicitly stated in the text to be queer while Will has, thus far, not, outside of good ol' Show-Don't-Tell. Of course, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that that's going to change by the end of Season 5, but, hey, for what it's worth, I'm throwing this out there.
Alrighty, Thingamajingama Number Two: "Oops, I accidentally made the greatest love story known to man." AKA, a genuine, honest-to-goodness mistake. Unfortunately, we do live in a heteronormative society. Sometimes people who don't think about being gay much write a friendship that's incredibly compelling and don't even consider the possibility that it could have been read as romantic. Something something Top Gun something. This is, again, not queerbaiting. This is Steddie, this is Ronance, this is Elmax, this is your favorite flavor of non-canon ship this week, this is not Byler. The creators know DAMN well what they're doing. They've talked about it. We know this. Nothing new here.
Which brings us to the topic of discussion here. Actual queerbaiting. This usually starts out as an "accidental greatest love story", and then reacts to fan response. And when I say "reacts", I mean like a goddamn chemical reaction. Like bleach and ammonia, bitch. It's noxious and it's gonna kick your fucking ass without mercy. This is when a creator is like, "Hey, let's get our queer audience invested, but we're not actually going to give them what they want because our straight audience isn't here for that/we personally think it's gross/we don't give enough of a shit to want to research a goddamn thing to write a real gay character," blah blah blah whatever excuse they want to come up with this time.
And when you think "queerbaiting", I want you to think "bullying". Because that's what it is. It's lucrative bullying, like beating us up and taking our lunch money, but it's bullying all the same. And it's a real goddamn thing, even if people misuse the word a lot, often when they mean one of the two above, sometimes when they mean "bury your gays", which is another homophobic thing entirely that I'm not going to get into here. Queerbaiting is the thing we're focused on, and it's real, and it's bullying. And here's the reason I want you to think of it as bullying:
They
Think
It's
Funny.
They are actively making fun of us.
That's why Dean had the "Cas, get out of my ass," line in Supernatural. It's why the "Do you like boys?" line happened in Teen Wolf. It's why "Lie with me, Watson," happened in the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies. Because "It's just a joke, mate." "It was just a prank, bro." "You didn't really think it would happen, did you?" "You should see your face."
So here's probably the biggest reason I don't think it's specifically queerbaiting in this specific instance of Will Byers and Mike Wheeler.
Stranger Things has never, not once, made a gay joke. Ever.
Every single time queerness comes up, it's dead serious.
Lonnie calls Will a fag, and the show is not at all reluctant to show what a goddamn horrible person he is. And when Hopper latches onto that, it's not as "Hahah, is he gay, though?" It's because he's trying to determine a potential motive for Will's disappearance, and even if someone had interpreted it as a joke, Joyce immediately has a line that functions as snapping her fingers in front of the audience's face and yelling "FOCUS" when she says "He's MISSING." Basically outright saying "This isn't funny!"
Troy calls him a fairy, along with targeting Lucas and Dustin for their skin color and disability respectively, and Mike gets damn near murderous. Troy is portrayed as a goddamn monster and the show portrays it as justice when El makes him piss his pants and later breaks his arm.
Steve calls Jonathan "queer" as a slur and gets the shit beat out of him for it.
Billy's father is revealed to be homophobic and abusive in the same breath.
Mike says "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" and we're shown how devastated Will is and Mike immediately follows him to beg for forgiveness.
There is a joke in Robin's coming-out scene, but it's not at Robin's expense. It's at Steve's. Specifically for being heteronormative.
Jonathan has multiple scenes where he's trying so hard to tell Will that he's always going to love him as he is, whether he's gay or not, without pressuring him to come out before he's ready.
Even when there's a little bit of ribbing at Robin's expense, it's always because she's an awkward nerd who's nervous around pretty girls, just the same as Lucas and Dustin are teased when they both first develop crushes on Max, and even then, even then, it always comes as a package deal where they make fun of Steve's girl problems at the same time.
Stranger Things is an emphatically pro-gay show. It may not be the core point of the show the way it is in, say, Our Flag Means Death, but there is nothing less than respect for its queer characters. Its queer characters are always taken completely seriously. No one is making fun of us. They never have. That's why I have serious doubts that this is queerbaiting. It would come completely out of left field for the bullying to start in Stranger Things' final season.
So it's not at all likely to be queerbaiting because queerness is taken completely seriously. The creators have talked about Will's queerness, at least, so it's not an accident. And queer-coding would be silly to expect from this show when it's already on its final season. Like, what is Netflix gonna do? Cancel it? Not to mention all the explicit queerness that's in there already. And no one's gonna "What about the children?" a show that's had sex scenes in it since the first season.
There's no fakeout here. It's gonna happen. Breathe.
#byler#Part 2 I fucking guess.#Wasn't planning on making a Part 2 but here we are.#I seriously just want you guys to feel safe.#I'm not naive. I do not say any of this shit lightly.#But I've been around the block long enough to know what queerbaiting looks like and this ain't it. Promise.#Will's already been confirmed as in love with Mike for fuck's sake. You don't think the other half of the equation's gonna follow through?#There has only ever been one other situation where I've gone 'Okay this is going in gay places' with no doubt whatsoever without being told#And that was with Daja in Tamora Pierce's 'Will of the Empress' when I read it at like sixteen or whatever#and she wound up having whole-ass fuckin' gay sex.#I was right then and I'm right now. I swear.
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Living with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors
Me: *Is super stressed over life.*
Trichotillomania: Time to pull some hair! C'mon. You won't even notice you're doing it. It'll make you feel better.
Me: NO. *Spends 4 days putting hair in a mini twist protective style* There.
Dermatillomania: Hey. Your hands are free. And restless. And dry... Pick your skin. Bleed. Bleed.
Me: Stop! *Starts up a new crochet project to keep hands busy.* Ok cool.
Onychophagia: Hi hi. Your nails are.... perfect biting length... you should do that.
Me: Noooooooooooo *Paints nails.*
Dermatillomania: Oh look, you got some nail polish on your skin. Pick it off... now pick some more...
Me: SDJAKFDSJFKLDKAFDJKLAFJDKSAKLFDASL
#is this tmi? oh well. this is the tmi website#trichotillomania#dermatillomania#onychophagia#bfrb#body focused repetitive behavior#ocd#guys guess what? my therapist all but prescribed that i get a manicure to prevent picking at my skin#apparently after a year with this therapist i never mentioned my finger picking until this week#and she was like 'ok since you find it tough to paint them yourself get a manicure. self care and preventative'#because my cuticles are horrific due to me constantly picking at them and the sides of my fingers#so i've always been too embarrassed to go to a nail salon and my therapist was like 'exposure therapy!'#currently my nails are sloppily painted because i can't hold a brush still and they're already chipping after like 5 days#actually they probably started chipping on the second day honestly.#i need to redo my twists a bit which actually satisfies the trich urges since i'll be running my fingers through my hair to do it#but i won't actually be pulling. but also. i will be getting the shed hairs out. so. kind of fulfills that.#but right now my nails are long enough for me to feel them sometimes hit my keyboard. which. isn't normal for me.#and despite the nail polish i feel the urge to bite them shorter ahhhhh#anyway if you're Black with natural hair and have trich i HIGHLY suggest mini twists since it helps deter me from pulling#sure i have to redo it every few weeks but seriously. game changer. harder to find individual hairs to pull.
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Enecomimi Banzaiiii (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Kabu#Larry#Gintama references lol#And translation jokes! Very fun#I like how my reaction to these two is a fairly level ''Oh I like them but it's not all That serious really'' and then my headcanons pft#They're easy to like and think about! What am I to do about that#So the headcanons lol - I like to think that since Kabu was recruited from Hoenn that he sometimes calls Pokemon by their Japanese names#Which allowed for this very fun joke :) I was So hoping that one of the Normal cats would be a basic pun on ''Neko'' and I was right hehehe#Since Gintama has been moved into my breakfast rotation - I've read enough djs not fully appreciating the context! It was time!#I've gotten the opportunity to enjoy some of the references pulled from the anime itself into the fanwork hehe <3 Nekomimi banzaiiii!#Once I heard Shinpachi call it moe* that was it I was done I could go on no longer without making the joke#*As in cute/endearing/exciting - but its homophone refers to ''burning''! Kabu is both hehe#He's so confused - isn't Eneco a Normal type? Better go ask the resident expert#As if they weren't already planning to hang out at Kabu's place haha ♪ Just going through his fanmail while Larry spectates casually#That second Kabu is probably the cutest one I've drawn so far!! Couldn't recapture for the rest of the comic that's for sure hwegh#Gotta study what does and doesn't work with his design hm hm#Larry's still much easier to draw which is clearly why he features for only two panels here lol#At least he's enjoying himself#Kabu + Cute Normal Type Pokemon = 😳 Haha ♪#You're being very subtle Larry I'm sure he won't notice your reaction at all you're holding it together great#頑張れ アオキさん
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oughgh i hate getting ideas for videos that i KNOW if i started i wouldn't be able to finish, just because of how energy intensive or long they'd be. im being haunted by a music video in my head every time i listen to this one specific song
#the gravity falls fixation has remained in place longer than i anticipated but i have no idea how much longer it will last#so I don't wanna try locking in on an over 5 minute long animatic#and then lose the energy partway through#i already have enough projects in my wip graveyard 😭#rye.txt#I've been so low energy with all my art lately. just in some kinda slump#every time i pull out a project to work on i only get a few lines into it before i wanna stop#SUCKS. do not like it#motivation and energy please#i have STORIES TO TELL#i need to make another MUDPAW VIDEO#RAAAA#i want to continue his story but nothing feels right yet :(#and I don't wanna make something I'm not 100% hyped for#because then it won't come out good#and I won't be happy with it#so I'm just. waiting until my brain decides it likes making art again
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j3's "mcgucket did read through the journals, ford was kinda used to this + this being why he used cryptography in his journals, and in fact mcgucket had read them enough to write an entire research paper for ford" kinda makes the lost pages' "i gotta hide my photos of stan from fiddleford by putting them in the journal" even more weird huh.
#it's kinda annoying that the odd bits to the lost pages are plausible enough to be simple mistakes or changes#cos that already happened a few times in the other books#eg the sibling bros being rivals in the comic when ford mentions in j3 that he read books about them when he was a kid?? idk#and stuff like that said comic story's location being shifted from the pine barrens to glass shard's town#(likely because it's a more fun and visually appealing setting)#and the leaked version of that hiding photos page had a typo in ford's motto#so that it read 'through hardships to hardships' lmao#(jokes on me for trying to examine works made a guy who said repeatedly that he was improv-ing i suppose)#the new editions of tbob changed the lost pages title so it's no longer specific to j3#but that makes me curious if they changed the 'i've been mad at stan for over 30 years' bit cos that stands out like a sore thumb
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🌸💗 LOVER 💗🌸
I was feeling nostalgic, so i decided to doodle my darlings from Peach Girl to relax a little🥰💗🌸💞
this was my favorite anime when I was a freshman in highschool (tho it's absolutely insane,,, I love it anyway💗💗💗)
but it's been ages since I've drawn them,, idk if I could even find my old art of these two.... it was about time to draw them again🥰💗💞
outfits inspired by one of the official arts from the manga, I think?
reference under the cut:
#peach girl#momo adachi#kairi okayasu#kaimomo#peach girl anime#they turned out looking a little older than i intended^^#so just think of this as a couple years post canon#/waves hand/ we do not think of the sequel manga here#(tho i havent finished the sequel manga... i just felt like my heart couldn't take any more drama;;; )#momo and kairi had already been through enough!!#let them be happy!!#also i just cant get over how cute momo is♡♡♡♡#i miss drawing her#and i think this is the first time I've finished a drawing of kairi...#shameful i need to draw them more#i also need to rewatch peach girl!!#and maybe play my drinking game i made for it👀🌸#oh! btw the blossoms behind them are peach blossoms#of course#♡♡♡♡♡♡♡#shitty#(< that's my art tag)#im sad i didnt get to draw momo's shirt in this piece smh#next time next time
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personal //
#taking an unofficial break until i feel better about everything 😭 perhaps until the end of june or maybe longer#i'm sorry for my low energy#i realize that i already haven't been engaging properly ever since i got injured#and part of me wants to :') i miss a lot about being in this space and it's been a little lonely stepping away#but i also think i haven't been happy with myself for awhile now#i just feel a bit#like i'm on the knife edge of giving up and that things that should scare me don't even properly register#& it feels like the pockets of happiness in between are not enough to sustain me through it#ah. just cried for a long time#there is a lot i've been thinking about but i think i won't talk about it on here :')#i'll be back in some time 🫡 if you need me feel free to shoot a dm on here or on discord
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Health vent in the tags 🙃
#So I had what - two weeks of feeling okay?#and now we're back with the chest pain and the stomach pain and the racing heart and the constant nausea?#glad I have a specialist appointment next week#that I have to drive to for an hour#but jesus christ if they don't help me idk what I'm supposed to do#i was working (or not working) through constant pain and discomfort for six months and I can't go back there#i feel like shit despite pacing well and sleeping enough and eating enough#Those two weeks weren't fully free of symptoms#but wow even just less pain and more food options were wonderful#I can't do this anymore#Anyway#back to work I guess#wish me luck that it at least doesn't get worse until next week#because I can't keep taking sick days#I've already been out for five weeks
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙

(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)
#sometimes i forget i'm a painter lol#this is just the base so i'll still add some cool stuff (colours and some gold leaf details hehe)#usually my thing is more flat/less busy painting (with more mixed media) but i've been digging this vibe lately#my art account is completely wiped cus i private everything earlier this year (same with personal)#but i wanna start posting again. not just old stuff but actually *make* something new everyday#like a little challenge i suppose#since i'm not currently working in my field and have being going through a bit of a rough adjustment period about ✨things✨#(plus the whole depresh spiraling)#i barely have been making any art at all that isn't just sketches/silly stuff#i miss painting. i miss making murals and working on an actual project etc#now that *some * things have been settled AND i finally have my own space i feel a lot more keen on working on it#i know i hardly ever talk about that part of my private life cus i do wanna keep it somewhat separate from here#but i guess i'm in a good mood and kinda ready to admit some stuff#??? that didn't make sense#i'm feeling hopeful for next year and have a semblance of a plan. That's what I meant there you go#i can already feel myself cringe cus everytime i share these type of things something ALWAYS bites my ankles#and that's why i hardly ever share anything at all with anyone ever until it actually is done or underway#which is! not good! i'm aware! but. ya know#ANYWAYS. rant over. look at the pretty colours and ignore my rambles#hmmmm my band crush guy (platonic) (guess who) (🕊️🥁) said my name and loved my super insightful question and i'll probably dream about it#(and the other really liked it too. MY BABE. it was kinda silly so very unexpected)#(okay i think this is buried deep enough to not make myself look like a 12 with a stupid crush) (hehehehehe)#darya does art#<- sure in the art tag it goes#blue#(it was a coincidence! i've never done anything exclusively blue before actually!) (in this capacity i mean)#traditional art#abstract painting
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just stopped in at morrisons to get cigarettes and the old lady behind the counter looked at me, started to say "do you have any ID?", looked at me again, and said "oh nah you're alright" without finishing the question like. ouch? i mean i'm glad you don't wanna see my ID because i absolutely do not have any on me my passport is.... in a different bag.... somewhere. but still. come on, man.
#dont get me wrong i havent been routinely IDd for anything since i was about 14#i've barely aged since i was just an old looking teenager (consequently always on alcohol buying duty)#briefly looked my age in my mid 20s#and now look younger#NOT being IDd at all doesn't bother me like i don't carry ID because it almost never happens. it's fine#but changing your mind halfway through is like#wow#really#you could have finished the question so i could say 'aw thanks but no i'm 33'#and then just serve me bc you already decided i was old enough#y'ain't have to vocalise it
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Failed a social interaction 0 injured 1 killed (me)
#Today has been so long 😭😭😭 I've been out the whole day studying and when I came back I spent more than one hour to cook my probably gone–#bad chicken (and rice and spinach) and then I couldn't even eat it because it was my turn to clean the kitchen at the dorm (which is the–#third following day I'm doing) (worth mentioning I'm running on 5 hours of sleep)#And I was goofing around with my friends but while doing so I. made fun of the landlord. And then one friend told me “hey girl he's right–#outside” and like 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I hope I die painfully. I need to be back next year and he already makes my life hard enough and hhhhhhhhhhh#I wasn't even like. Serious. It was just to joke around with my friends I don't have anything against him (except for the things I do)#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#And now I feel so embarrassed I have no appetite at all + the chicken (which I had to bring home through one hour walk in summer which–#probably wasn't good for it. And then froze one day past the expiration day) (I really need to get better eating habits) I had been–#preparing despite taking one hour to cook it I got the firing wrong and now it's all hard and honestly not very good and like 😭😭😭#Look at what you did to the (frankly already diseased) chicken#I feel so betrayed by everything 😭😭😭 Can life get a little easier#I'm mostly kidding I'm doing okay. I just need to rant because I CAN'T GET OVER THE LANDLORD THING MAN HOW DO I FORGET ABOUT IT.#This kind of things always haunts me for at least three days so 😭😭😭#I'm dead tired but I really wanted to answer asks today so. Probably doing so between today and tomorrow#Rant over sending lots of l love 💞💞#random rambles#In my defense it's not my fault I'm too poor to throw the chicken away 😪😪 I haven't eaten since forever#It's also not my fault I can't afford a new non sticking pan so I have to stick (ah) to the probably toxic one#It is very much my fault for messing up the chicken cooking temperature tho lol
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