#I've added a few for now but if you want a specific drawing there ask me!!

[im-yotsu]

Is that... an Inprnt?

Yes!! I've opened up an Inprnt shop!!!

It's got prints and stickers of drawings I've posted here before, so if you liked them, you can buy them 👀

[mint-in-the-moonlight]

putting the poly back in polytheism

something that I've noticed in neo-pagan/polytheist spaces is this focus on one or a few deities. while this is a valid approach and seems to be working amazingly for many people, i wanted to write a short defence of a different form of polytheism that, while maybe less visible on social media, is equally viable.

the poly in polytheism necessitates the belief in multiple gods however modern forms of worship take many different forms on top of that. from my years being in pagan spaces on social media I have noticed that to many, being a polytheist means worshipping one or a handful of gods and having very close relationships with them. which deities someone chooses to have this kind of relationship with stems from multiple possible sources, for example, personal interest, the deity's domain being somehow related to a person's life or an inexplicable draw to them.

to me, this seems to be the dominant view on social media of the form that neo-paganism takes, however, after years of exploring my spirituality and practice, I have come to the conclusion that this is not how I want to worship. I am writing this post for more people like me, who are interested in exploring this often less mainstream approach.

an ancient template

reading about Ancient Greek and Roman civilisations I was always struck by the number of minor deities with hyper-specific domains and associations. as a modern pagan, I could not understand the appeal of worshipping such a deity, ie. using so much time and resources to build a relationship for only a handful of niche issues that you could approach them with.

but as I kept reading and exploring, I realised that I was approaching polytheism completely differently than the ancients did. they truly did live in a world full of gods and they did not require a relationship built over days, if not weeks or more, to approach a deity and ask for their aid.

as long as you followed the rules of reciprocity, you could approach any deity that was relevant to your situation because they were the best equipped to help you with your problem. now this is not true for all of the population all the time, there were definitely also for example, people devoted to one deity, but from my understanding, this seemed to be the general form that polytheism took in those ancient civilisations.

the influence of monotheism

I think another feature of online neo-paganism is this expansion of the major deities' domains which then removes the need to worship the smaller deities. now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for expanding the domains of deities, especially if this is done from a revivalist perspective in order to modernise them for the contemporary worshipper. but sometimes I feel like completely unrelated domains are added for the sake of convenience more than anything else, ie. so that someone can keep worshipping the same deity(ies) without approaching others.

this, in my opinion, goes against one of the core aspects of polytheism which is the idea that different gods rule over different domains and have power over them. following this idea, it would make very little sense to pray to Neptune during air travel as he has no influence over the skies. yet, I sometimes see the deities be treated more like monotheistic gods which are all-powerful and can influence anything in the world.

if this is your view of how the gods work, that's fine, but I feel like sometimes people accept it without questioning it much or thinking about their view of theology at all. after mulling this idea over for some time, I realised it made much more sense to approach those specific deities, even if they are much less known or minor because this fits into my beliefs about polytheism much better.

a poly-practice

so, how would a poly-polytheistic practice look like in the modern day? well, there are many ways to go about it but I will just share bits from my own experience.

what I have ended up doing is focusing on different deities as they become relevant in my life - I focused on worshipping Janus at the beginning of the year while also taking the time to pray to Fortuna in moment when I needed her aid. I then did some extra reading on Jupiter, but didn't forget to thank Mars every time I went to the gym. I no longer felt the pressure to have some sort of special "connection" to every deity or "feel their presence", just trusting that they are there and then catching glimpses of divinity in my daily life.

looking into which Roman festivals I wanted to celebrate also opened my perspectives to more deities I would not have otherwise worshipped on my own. like this, I feel like I am building an arsenal of deities I can turn to when I need and of course, it is also vital to remember that I can call on multiple ones at the same time, just like the Romans saw the gods aiding one another in their tasks.

I only have one altar, which is practical and thus quite minimalistic, but there is space for my prayer notebook as well as other supplies that I need for my rituals.

conclusion

of course, this kind of practice results in a much more "impersonal" relationship with the gods, but I never really felt the need to communicate with them directly or things like that, so it fits me well. I find comfort in imagining a world full of gods, who may only know me in passing but who look out for me nevertheless.

in the end, the goal of this post is not to change anyone's mind about how they worship, but to present an alternate perspective which you can learn from but also completely disregard. in the end I am just happy that you were interested enough to reach until the end of this post. thank you for reading!!

[cripplecharacters]

Hi there, i have a character in my original story who is blind, specifically because he lost both eyes (one from injury, one from infection at birth). However, he doesn't have access to prosthetic/glass eyes as he lives in a secluded group of warriors. I've been drawing him with a blindfold to protect from infection, but upon reading your posts about eye coverings on blind characters, i'm unsure if this is offensive or not, but i also can't think of a good alternative other than going bare. He is a warrior, so i don't think glasses would stay on for very long, but i'm wondering if maybe goggles would work? Hes not the only blind character i have (one of the others is a born-blind cane user who does not wear glasses) but i still don't want to misrepresent or spread misinformation. Any help would be appreciated, thanks

Hello!

@blindbeta has an excellent post on the subject, which I'll link here [Link].

In your character's case, the cover would serve more for protecting their eyes and less for photophobia or other sensitivities. One of the points that's mentioned heavily in the post is to ask why your character is using a cover for their eyes.

In this case, you've already answered that question. Your character needs to protect their eyes from infection and further damage but doesn't have the option of prosthetics and glasses are inconvenient and could fall off or get in the way.

That being said... wouldn't a blindfold also get in the way?

A blindfold would be more of a problem in combat than a pair of glasses with a strap securing them. A blindfold gives his opponent another way to grab onto him (Think of ponytails) or something else to get caught on.

Also, if the goal is preventing infection, a blindfold would do the opposite here. Fabric is notorious for encouraging the growth of bacteria, fungi, and other microorganisms. When it's pressed up against your character's eye sockets while they're fighting and sweating, it's also creating a very humid and moist environment.

Back when I was still rock-climbing and would go blindfolded, the blindfold would become gross and sweaty after just a few rounds. I don't even want to think about how it would have been after a day of fighting and adding in the blood and other fluids that would be on it. This can be especially problematic if your character is living in a secluded place where he may not be able to properly wash the blindfold as often as needed.

In general, the goggles (Or a pair of secured glasses) may be a better way to go. They'd be less of a liability in combat and be much more effective at preventing infection than a blindfold would be. There's also the fact that they would be much easier to clean if it ends up being necessary.

Now, you didn't specifically ask about this but I would just like to point out that prosthetic eyes aren't just used for preventing infection. Prosthetic eyes allow you to maintain the function of your eyelid and ensures that your eye socket keeps its shape. Depending on your character's circumstances, this may or may not be a concern for them.

Regardless, I'd definitely suggest looking into this and giving it some thought if you haven't.

Here's a few links to get you started:

A brief article discussing the benefits of prosthetic eyes.

An article that talks about prosthetic eyes in general. It also includes some brief information on prosthetic eyes in the past, which may be of interest to you.

Some FAQs about prosthetic eyes. Most of this is more specific to the current prosthetics offered but has some general info as well.

If you haven't done so already, I'd also advise checking out the linked post from @blindbeta since it has some excellent information about the specific trope.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icaus

[turnaboutfix]

Oh yes of course!!!

I meant specifically like her very early concept art (blue haired) and like, one of the first ones where she has short hair (but still with those 2 loose locks at the front)? I hope you know which one I'm talking about lolol

BUT if you wanna speak your thoughts on like. All of them. I want to hear 👂❓️

( @ellivcca asked what I thought about Maya's concept art and I replied in priv if they could be more specific)

Let's talk about Maya's designs! ✨

I will skip the blue-haired art for now, since I have more to say about her other early designs. They're in a few Japanese AA Guidebooks, but "逆転裁判2 真���解明マニュアル", or "Gyakuten Saiban 2: Fact-Finding Manual" has the most in one place. There are blurbs that discuss the designs, and I'll do my best to summarize them. My Japanese isn't amazing and I had to mostly rely on machine translation + cross referencing dictionaries, so it's possible I may be inaccurate. Also, I'm a novice at Japanese culture, so if I'm misrepresenting anything please bring this to my attention and I'll correct things accordingly!

The book acknowledges that Maya was intended to be of high-school age, hence the the sailor suit artwork. They seem to suggest that the loose socks was a hint at Maya's spunky personality.

When they began to explore her as a spirit medium (1), they wanted her to come from a wealthy, noble family. It looks like a lot of these explorations made it to Franziska's design, with some of the shapes of the shoulders and the jabot-looking neck wear, which is interesting!

As they kept exploring in the second round of sketches (2), they stressed traditional/folk dress as being an important part of her design. They noted they had her carrying something on her back at the time, which I think hints more to her "folksy" feel.

The beaded necklace she's wearing in (2) are drawn from Mala bead necklaces, which are prayer beads rooted in Hinduism and Buddhism and are said to help focus the mind during meditation. They seem present in a lot of spiritual figures in Japan.

Later (3), they explicitly comment drawing inspiration from the Matagi, a group of hunting clans in the northern Japanese mountains (be careful looking them up, they do bear hunting and there's a lot of explicit imagery, even on the wikipedia).

They comment on that this version of her early character might be very athletic. She also seems to be more stoic in these explorations.

Then, for (4) and (5), they evolved the design to make it look appear more feminine, giving her long hair, but making a note that her look isn't typical of modern people. The large orbs in (3), (4) and (5) I think are supposed be drawn from "Yuigesa"(結袈裟), or harnesses decorated with pom-poms worn by Shugendō practitioners, hermits who live in the mountains and practice asceticism.

Then in (6), they added the magatama and committed to her having black hair. They note shortening the hem of her costume from design (5).

The magatama addition is pretty significant! Magatama necklaces are used by noro priestesses of the Ryukyu Kingdom from the islands in the very south of Japan.

Their religion broadly speaking, involves ancestor worship and the relationships between the living and dead, gods and spirits. It seems to me like the culture in Kurain Village draws a lot from the Ryukyuan people--and you can even see this with the beads along with the magatamas.

But there seems to be a lot of generic imagery of Spirit Mediums that I've been able to find in Japanese media which have shared elements of design in Maya's final design. The most interesting of these to me is "ほ��とにあった!霊媒先生", or "It Really Happened! Spirit Medium Teacher". The design similarities are striking (and make me wonder if Maya was an inspiration?)

So, to summarize it all up, it seems like the early designers (and there were only two! Kumiko Suekane and Tatsuro Iwamoto) wanted a character who was different, folksy, feminine and spunky that displayed unique spiritual power to aid in the narrative/game mechanics of the games, and they explored the different facets of their own culture--from the northern Matagi clans to the southern Ryukyuan people--Japanese iconography, and tastes into Maya's final design.

And I think that's Real Neat. :)

Thoughts about other designs (Blue-Haired/SoJ Maya) under the cut cuz oh my gosh this post is already huge.

Blue haired Maya!

What's interesting to me is that a lot of the design language on this early Maya art seems to have been carried over to Ema's design (glasses, boots, coat/skirt). She also has similar vibes to Lynne from Ghost Trick.

I definitely enjoy Maya's final design a lot better, but I like the triadic color harmony and spunk here!

And then her design update in Spirit of Justice! These concepts are from "逆転裁判6 公式ビジュアルブック", or "Gyakuten Saiban 6: Official Visual Book". :)

Takuro Fuse (the character designer) comments that he never drew Maya before when he took a stab at updating her, so he wanted to get that down first before tackling the designs. He wondered how she would change over the course of 11 years, and first experimented with a design, thinking about how Mia would look like as a spirit medium. He thought it would be interesting if Phoenix wouldn't be able to tell if Maya channeled Mia. (Me too tbh.)

I feel like this design has a bit too much going on, but I do like the longer cream colored sleeves!

Takuro talks more about how he was exploring all sorts of designs before landing on something more simple. He wanted her to have what he called a "traveling costume" and was very fond of the hat. These designs seem to pull from similar places I've discussed with Maya's early designs, as well as Japanese pilgrims.

As fun as the additions and changes to her design are, I think it was very smart to just add subtle changes: the longer robes, jacket, and the additional beads to her necklace. The shawl is a nice touch, too. This reflects how post-7yg Phoenix and Edgeworth also have subtle changes to their designs as well, which I love and I think were very smart moves from a design-perspective as well as personal taste. Their designs are very iconic and I think it was a service to maintain that iconography.

This was a very fun thing to explore! Thank you kindly @ellivcca for the ask!

[midnight-mourning]

300 Followers Special!

AGH IT HAPPENED AGAIN

was legit just checking through my blog and realized but at least i caught it in time!!

Thank you all so much! For this and for all the support everyone gives on the silly things I make. I know the last like, several months of this blog have been chaos (from posting often to nothing while I was sick to semi-daily in December etc. etc.) so I appreciate everyone sticking with me through it all very much <333

I'll admit there's.... a LOT going on right now (looks at my wips and at my research to-do list) BUT, i don't mind adding something to the list! It just might take a bit of time to get to it lol

Pulling from the 100 follower milestone celebration ideas that didn't get picked, as well as a few other things I came up with, will do the top two if results are close :D

BUT feel free to pick the 'other' option if you have soemthing else you'd like to see! I will do whatever since this is me saying thanks ^^

Little bit of info on each thing below the cut, excited to see what you pick!

Q&A/Ask the Cast: a classic, I know my ask box is open but here's also a clear chance to ask something that you've been really curious about! I won't share spoilers for the story, but everything else is on the table, including stuff about me, writing etc. Just no super personal questions is all! Additionally, you can ask the cast questions and answers will be in character, perhaps with a little doodle as well ^-^

Writing Requests: same as all the other request things I've done, same rules apply (no nsfw, suggestive is fine, be specific if you want specific) and will be about 500-1000 words each

Doodle requests: I provide you with a little drawing I made with tender love and care (would be lined, colored, shaded, etc.)

A peek into the drafts: I do in fact have a couple other fic ideas floating around in my brain that I simply haven't started so that I don't get bogged down/focus on CS. I would share those and a little bit of concept art

AU Oneshot/Continuation: I take a oneshot I've written and add MORE to it in some way, anything that I've written is up for grabs (besides my multi-chap stories ofc) This includes my Promptober responses, DCA December, 'Secret' gifts I've done, and any other drabbles or such. Examples of times I've already done this would include Holiday Spirit (continuation of DCA December Day 7), and Restart (continuation of Promptober Day 29)

DIY the DCA: silly idea I've thought about where using my knowledge as an MechE I determine the costs of materials, equipment, etc. for what it would take to build the daycare attendant yourself, would it be completely accurate? probably not I am not an expert, would it be fun? yeah I fuckin love deep-diving on mcmastercarr for shit

Chekov's Gun Analysis Post: i explain and go line by line about ch. 15 of Confused Spirit and explain all the little callbacks, hints, etc., why i love it so much, and so on

Other: explained above, don't be shy to tell me if none of these sound interesting! Won't hurt my feelings :)

[forgeofthenine]

Sorry for adding to your pile of requests 😭 quick question: so like how many requests can one person give before it gets annoying 🙈🙈

What do you think of post-game Tav hyping up Dammon’s forge saying it’s the reason they could beat the absolute. OR OR some jealousy HCs but specifically for late Act 2 when Tav sees Dammon lowkey flirt with Karlach/mutual pining shit.

One or the other! IDK I can’t get this man out of my head.

When my requests are open? Absolutely fair game, especially for great requests like this. While I like the idea of the first one, the second prompt gave me more to work with and is similar to an idea I've had in mind since I first made this blog. I hope you enjoy and send in more requests when they open back up :)

When you get jealous of Dammon 'flirting' with Karlach

You'd been travelling with your group for a few months now, all of you growing closer and forming bonds in your own way with each other and the others you've run into

One person you feel you've had quite the connection with is the handsome tiefling blacksmith Dammon

Now you're all here in the shadow cursed lands it's the perfect time to reconnect with the charming man, particularly as you take Karlach and some infernal metal to him

He'd always been friendly with you, smiling and offering discounts on his wares, his calm and confident demeanor drawing you in

Soon you found yourself spending more time with Dammon, joining him for a drink once his work was done for the day or bringing him new materials you found while traversing the wilderness

It didn't take long for you to fall for the tiefling

What you didn't expect was the way he'd look at Karlach, the subtle flirting as he worked on fixing her infernal engine

You could feel your own heart break as the visit went on, even Karlachs endless excitement at being able to touch others didn't cheer you up after she held Dammons hand

However, Karlach was oblivious to the way you excused yourself as soon as you could, ducking out of the forge and leaving to go have space

And you were oblivious to the way Dammon asked Karlach if she knows how he might win you over

What you'd misconstrued as flirting was just a genuine sense of excitement on Dammons part to work with the rare substance again, and his stumbling over words was his failed attempt of trying to avoid flirting

There's no way for you to know that though, as you look out over the water and cuddle with Scratch

Things carry on much like normal from then, other than you avoiding Dammon and Karlachs endless excitement over being able to touch others

It only took a few days for the blacksmith to wonder what's keeping you, though initially he tried to brush it off as you being busy keeping everyone alive, and he must admit he misses you

After a week he left his forge to try and find you, however he found Karlach first and surely she'll know where you are

You come back to your campsite only to see the two speaking, stopping right in your tracks until Karlach waves to you, and you turn heel and leave

Dammon doesn't know what's going on in your mind, but he seems to realise part of what's happening by now, quickly taking chase and calling your name

You eventually find yourself stuck in a dead end, only you and Dammon around as he catches up and tries to catch his breath

It's a hard conversation for him to start, asking why you're avoiding him with the cutest frown on his face

His frown only deepens at any comments you might make about him preferring Karlach

It takes the both of you a short while to work through the miscommunication, neither of you realising the others feelings at first

Once Dammon does reveal his feelings to you, trying to assure you he doesn't want Karlach, it's easier to reveal your own in turn

Once you two resolve things though, it's easy to fall back into your old routine

Except this time it includes you and Dammon sneaking many more kisses when the others aren't looking

[sky-ivylight]

Would it be possible for you to make a guide to the shapes you use when drawing vessels and other hollow knight sillies? 🥺

I absolutely adore how you draw them and I've been struggling with anatomy recently so I just wanted to ask

HI! Thank you so much for requesting this!

I have a few main points on drawing in the Hollow-Verse, but I think it's important to remember that many characters have unique head shapes, body types, and textures, so the tips I give for the Siblings won't translate to all other hollow knight characters. That out of the way, here's...

-KEEP THOSE SHAPES ROUNDED The pointiest parts of Ghost's design are its feet, and the ends of the cape. The base-design is actually very round, while still being mostly made of squares. I keep my edges at the hands, feet, ends of the cloak, and tips of the horns, but everything else is soft!

-THE OVERALL SHAPE LANGUAGE Squares

-GHOST CUBE GHOST CUBE Ghost's head is a rounded cube. You can tell based on not only the overall profile shape, but also because of where the shadows fall on plane changes. So, to begin drawing your ghost, first draw a cube! If you can't draw a cube, draw a square! It shouldn't be perfect, they're supposed to be rounded so make sure to shave off those corners! Add the eyes (two ovals) on the side you want the face to be, and erase all other lines inside the box, and round the edges. I like drawing the eyes a little farther apart than in-game, i just think it's cuter.

-HORNS Ghost's horns are at almost at the plane change from the side to the top of the cube-shaped head, and follow a slight curve. Personally, I like lowering the connection point to the middle of the head, it just makes more sense to me when I draw. ♥To draw them, first draw an oval around the thickness you want the horn to be, then draw 2 lines from each "edge" of the oval so you find the center. Draw a line from that center-point upwards until you reach the desired size. (you can also skip this step and simply put a dot in the center if you're based and uncucked, but sadly I am cucked and unbased, so I draw the 'X') ♥That line you just drew is the center-line. Follow its curve from the topmost and bottommost points of the oval, then erase the middle. Ta-Da! A horn! ♥If you're drawing from a 3/4 angle or more, FEAR NOT! You can repeat the process, just mirror the curve you made on one side. ♥If you're drawing from the front, mark where you want the center of each horn to be and free-hand that curve! Repeat on the other side, and use the same principle as above to draw the outside edges, then erase the middle! You should have a lovely horned fellow now! :)

-CLOAK Ghost's cloak is something i actively choose not to draw accurately. This is because I'm impatient, and the in-game cloak isn't very complicated, but its movements are difficult to replicate in my specific art style, so! instead of over-complicating matters, I just draw it as a squared-off cloth. That's about all there is to say about that, because I don't have the time or energy to fully explain cloth today (sorry!), so moving on toooo....

-BODIES The bodies of Hollow Knight characters are almost always partially or wholly concealed by cloaks, so it's important to get the shape language right for the parts we *do* see. ♣Feet and hands are always pointed, I like making them more bug-like (though ironically I have a morbid fear of bugs, so what I really mean is more segmented, and with small nubbin digits instead of fingers/toes) ♣Bodies are trapezoids or rectangles with narrower necks and wider hips. This leads the eye up toward the head/face/eyes, while maintaining the weight distribution of the character. I replicate this effect by shrinking the heads, lengthening the bodies, and adding more detail in the face. THis keeps the center of attention where I want it to be.

AT LAST we put all these tips together and tada~! A Hollowed Knight! :)

-BONUS HORNET TIP Hornet's head is basically an oval with another oval cut out of it. Many artists squash her head so she's rounder, but whether you squash her or not, a partially consumed oval is what she remains.

Hope that all helps! Have a good day <2

[kahvilahuhut]

🔍 cynosure status update

i mean. it's also periphery update too though. teehee. feel free to also check out the drawing here!

🤍 New to the story? Check out the (current) wip intros: Cynosure / Periphery

omg it's been a while, hasn't it? haha. i must admit i might have gotten A Bit too deep into some university assignments (+ my thesis). I do sometimes talk about the story on my main, too, but it's nothing that important for the story itself, mostly just some fun facts about the characters, which means that most of the development I've done is in my brain. Or is nonexistent or something. ANYWAY! Here's a status update to tell what has been happening lately! Might actually make this into something I post every now and then.

In this status update I'm going to talk a little about how it's going with the story, overall thoughts, plot/character changes and some things you can expect during next few weeks (hopefully). I'll put it all under the cut to keep this short on the dashboard 🥰

Like always, if you have any questions about the story, feel free to send an ask - I'll always be happy to answer 🤍

overall thoughts

Right now one of my top thoughts is honestly debating whether i want to, like, actually write this somewhere as a nove, or whether I should do it as a graphic novel or something. That said, if I do go with the latter, you can still expect writing bc I like to write things out to plan them. Or vise versa make some kind of sketches for writing. My brain works in a weird way, I know lol

I have been doing some worldbuilding (specifically for the story AND something for the overall story world that I have). Let me know if you'd love to hear some things I have thought about!

I've also been doing some research about *checks notes* Boston, MA. Because that's where most of the story happens :^) Though it happens in 2200's so I still have lots of room to change things around.

Definitely thinking about adding more dark/horror stuff in the world as a whole bc there's been, like, a climate crisis. AND people do interplanetary traveling. Stuff like that ought to lead to some fucked up stuff. Especially when there's megacorporations involved. Cynosure wise there's going to be something, especially in Periphery, happening to one of the main characters. 👀

plot/character updates

(that have happened lately, at least)

One of the pov characters kind of got a name update! Tobias's first name has been changed to Ripley, and it's what most characters will probably referring to it as. That said, some characters (+ itself) will refer to it as Tobias bc that's its preferred name that's somethings its friends and wife call it

Another pov character (Samuel) got an interesting change of backstory, some tweaks in personality, and its plot-revelant actions have changed a little. Sammy's changes has thus made some already existing things I've posted on here non-canon.

Slowly finally putting together what I mah want to have in Klara's chapters and it's sooooo exciting.

Polished some things about the plots, especially the different parts of the acts <3

Got more thoughts about the project itself (or, well, what it should have). That also means I need to look more into pharma research or something. Very interesting...

Overall, lots to think about and lots to research about.

things to expect in next few weeks

(that is, if I won't drown in university assignments or something)

I've had some ideas for little stories that would be happening before the story, to show more information about the characters and the story itself (like what happened in the original project). Or maybe just some fun parts of characters' backstories. So I may post something if I manage to write it!

Some more character introductions + pov character post. Might make a "tag yourself" meme. Or a powerpoint wip intro

Something else, maybe? If you have an idea, let me know!

taglist (interact with this post if you want to be added or removed!)

@ecofear @fashionablyfyrdraaca @shadowfells @volkihar

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @the-inkwell-variable @artbyeloquent

[oddballwriter]

Lotta True Crime

Summary: A blurb in which Steven comes home from work and finds you watching/listening to a true crime documentary, again. 

Warnings: I don't talk about anyone specific but the Y/N is listening to a docu about a serial killer. There isn't any actual mention of murder in full detail but it is there, so be warned of that. But overall this is actually domestic as hell and wholesome.  

Author’s Snip: I'm a true crime nut and I often wonder what my various fictional boytoys would think about it I sort of fixated on Steven for a while which led to this. I feel like he'd be slightly off-put by it but would get used to it at some point. Also, the idea of him and his true crime-loving partner just info-dumping about their interests is just so funny and cute.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

It sounds a lot like what you would hear a husband back in the 1950s answer if you asked him what his favorite part of the day was. But it was Steven's honest answer. He loved coming home after a long day at work and seeing you preparing dinner. There was something so domestic about it that he absolutely loved. Of course, he'd usually come in and help you make dinner instead of lounging around, just so that you two can have a nice moment as a couple.

There was one thing that always stuck out from the whole coming home to the partner cooking dinner daydream though.

The stuff you usually had playing in the background.

"-I mean. It was complete madness. All these people started digging at this dumping ground and they found so many bodies in different stages of decay. It took a few days simply because of how many they were finding, you know? You would be digging up one you just found and then you find a part from another and then you'd have to dig up that one, and so on." the voice on the TV explained as Steven locked the flat's door behind him and hung up all his things.

"What made it worse was that there were more. His accomplice said that he had admitted that he had more victims at another dumping site but he never said where that was before he died. So there are more somewhere out there and we don't know where they are." the voice added.

Steven wants to be surprised that there's a true crime documentary playing on the TV while you were happily cooking dinner, and yeah sure the details are especially gruesome from what he's hearing, but this isn't the first time. This is a normal occurrence, actually, and Steven's just learned to roll with it. Even if one time he came home and the TV had an episode of a show that talked about murders in relationships that talked about how a wife poisoned her husband via lacing his food with something, and you were making one of Steven's favorite meals.

He crosses the flat to you in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around you from behind and looking over what you were doing. "It looks like it's coming along nicely." he comments before he kisses you on the cheek. "Thanks," you replay, "I found it in a little recipe note and wanted to test it out." you explain. "Do you want any help?" Steven asks drawing away a little.

"No. I've got everything covered so far. Some stuff needs to sit for a bit. Maybe then I'll need some help." you tell him while also turning your head towards him.

A soft stare ensues between the two of you. You both bask in the nice feeling of being close to each other and having a sweet and domestic moment.

"It was believed that this body found drifting in the river was actually a victim, whose body was washed out of its grave from the heavy storms and rainwater that flooded the bank, since the accomplice said that the old dumping site was along the river. However, no one knows how far the body floated downstream, so they wouldn't know exactly where the site was along the river." a narrating voice said from the TV, soiling the moment.

You blush at the interruption, "You can change that if you want. I've heard of this case before anyway.".

Steven chuckles a little bit. "I don't really mind, love," he says. "You did overhear that one time I was watching a documentary and it went into heavy detail about the Egyptian embalming process." he recalls. "So what if I hear about some old killer's body count and possible dumping spots." Steven concludes.

"It's your version of what Egypt is to me. So how am I to judge." Steven adds.

[oboetemasuka]

Mahiru's Request

An "Order of Attack" side story

Fluffy little piece about Mahiru dropping a load of requests on Es's desk and then drawing out some insider information.

And with that, I mark the "side stories" work as complete.

(I've also added a chapter about Kotoko's attack on Fuuta, but let's not spoil the mood here.)

Small warning about Mahiru being a bit pushy.

(~488 words)

The upbeat humming signaled the visitor’s presence a good while before they would arrive in Es’s office. It was such a catchy tune that Es couldn’t help but sing along.

This can’t go on. Something’s got to give-

“Oh! Es-kun, how did you know the tune I’m humming?”

Mahiru was standing at the other side of the desk, placing a clipboard on the table. Es blinked out of their daze.

“H-huh? I…” They looked down at the requests scrawled on the paper. “Mahiru, you’re getting awfully indulgent with these requests.”

“It can’t be helped.” She smiled and tipped her head to the side. “ Mahiru hasn’t been able to request anything last trial. Isn’t it only fair to make up for it now?”

Es sighed. “But this is the fifth pair of earrings you requested. Do you really need that many?”

She just giggled in response.

“And what’s with all these imported ingredients?”

“The prison has been so gloomy, so what better way to lift the mood than with a cake?”

With a thick-leaded pencil, Es circled a few of the brand names on the page. “With flour and sugar from halfway across the globe?”

“Only the finest ingredients for the most amazing cake!”

Before Es could argue, Jackalope hopped by and gave them the most soul-sucking stare.

“Fine, I’ll process your order.”

But Mahiru placed her hand over theirs before they could turn away. “Es-kun, can I ask you something?”

“What is it now?” Es pulled their hand away, and Mahiru brought hers back to her shoulders.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about the music videos. You said mine was so happy that it bothered you. Were these videos… not supposed to be happy?”

“I wouldn’t know…” 

This should have been the time to shoo the overstaying guest out of the office, but something in her eyes compelled them to entertain her question. 

“I don’t know what’s the norm, but three of the videos were… well, you could say they were ‘happy’.” It was a mistake to be that specific. Now she would want them to elaborate. “You, Amane, and Yuno. For that matter, there wasn’t a lot about the victims in those.” Too much information… Why did they say all that? Why didn’t Jackalope stop them? He was still right there.

Mahiru’s expression flattened. “I see…”

“Listen, I… I never got to properly apologize for misjudging you. I’m sorry. I cast my judgment off of misguided assumptions, and you had to suffer for it. I know the new verdict won’t undo the damage, but-”

Mahiru clasped her hands together, seemingly to stop herself from taking Es’s hand again. “Oh, Es-kun, you already know I don’t hold a grudge for it. But it means a lot to hear you say this. Thank you.” With that, she turned and left.

What was that all about? Es felt like the apology they uttered was meant for someone else.

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Ending progress + poll results💙

Hi again and welcome new followers, here's another progress update about the game! >;]

But before I write that out I just want to say a very big thank you to everyone that participated in the poll I did so far, The results and responses have been helping me for the final version. :,] If you still want to give your vote/opinion on the start of the game here's the poll from my tumblr! There's less than 24 hours to vote!

I took a small break to gather my thoughts before continuing from where I left off. I was brainstorming a lot about this because I didn't want the beginning of the game to be too long when it comes to figuring out how to get to Noah, but I do want the explorative side to give some lore.

Suddenly, an idea came to mind that'll help me solve this issue I've been having. :,]

Last week I mentioned the two endings you could get that are from the [Extended Demo]. I don't count this as spoilers but these endings will have their own separate choice to go down instead of it being in the same path. This replaces a section from the [Extended Demo] and lowers the amount of time it takes to figure out how to get to Noah, especially for those that are new to the game. Consider this a healthy quality of life change, only one ending has been put on the shelf that I didn't have a connection with so far! :] This also gave me a chance to go through both endings individually and give a deeper exploration into these areas as they do play a part in the game. I added a few choices to show the differences in the terrain and how the player(Y/N) reacts to it. You can get an alternate situation but it will still end the same. I also fixed up some errors I found through the alternate choices that I almost missed too. For right now I'd say this ending will be finished once my play testers look through them! They've given me pointers on the CG's and dialog but not everything else yet. x] Speaking of quality changes I also went back and adjusted some of the new CG's I've drawn. I had a habit of drawing the landscape too low so you couldn't see anything unless you toggled the text box away. :,,,] Luckily this was a quick and easy fix.

Here's the results:

Before:

After:

I'm very happy with how far I've come when I draw backgrounds now! It's been a interesting journey but overall I enjoy knowing everything is coming together no matter how long it might take. There was another one I wanted to share but this the second CG I tried posting gave me an error. Luckily I had everything saved so I don't have to rewrite anything! :,,]

It took some time but I went back and fixed one of the effects that happen when you lose HP. The old version lights up the edges of your screen but sometimes it can be hard to see if there's another effect happening. I went back and gave a small hue effect every time you lose HP instead.

Lastly in other news, I finally started work on Noah's reference sheets! >:]

There will be a total of three(?) which will have specific details for each one! It's took some time to create since I'm still learning how to do angled faces/poses but I've gotten time to practice so I'm ready. >:] I also want to state that Noah's sprites/side sprites in the [Extended Demo] are accurate to how he's suppose to look too. Since I've improved my style certain specifics of his appearance might be slightly different! :]

Almost there to the cabin section, yay! I just have a few more things to fix up. >:]

If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do on kofi! All donations and tips help tremendously while I work on the game. Also a very huge thank you to those that have optionally bought the [Extended Demo] and the March 2023 demo on itch.io too, it really means a lot. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

There were some other things I wanted to discuss but this post is getting too long so I'll save it for next week, thank you guys for all of the support, I appreciate it! :,,]

[ruth-writes]

ruthswip Chapter 1

Overview

Next chapter

Chapter 1 of a rewrite of something I've been working on for a long time.

Content warnings: physical abuse (explicit scenes), homophobia

Jamie's POV

One-hundred and fifty-five days. That meant five months and two days. It had been almost half a year.

Half a year, which meant we were getting close to our first performance. Not that we were in any way ready. Lisa was supposed to be doing a step in front of me so we’d form a line facing the audience, but she kept stepping on my foot and tripping instead. If I had to hear the same few notes of This is Me one more time until she finally got it, I was rip my ears off.

Ms. Page looked as frustrated as I felt, but she knew how to handle it. She was exactly the kind of person who should be a teacher, never losing her patience or yelling at us. I wondered how she’d managed not to turn bitter like every other adult I knew. I considered asking her for tips, but it was probably too late for me anyway.

Lisa stepped on my little toe this time, the heel of her boot making me wince. “Sorry,” she apologized, as if that would make the throbbing pain magically disappear.

            I glanced at Holden, who was watching us from the front of the room. He should be practicing his solo, but there wasn’t much of a point when the backup dancers couldn’t even get far enough for his cue. At least it meant we could make faces at each other, like the one I gave him now. He answered with a small grin, making my insides squirm. Even more when people looked over their shoulders to follow his gaze. I quickly fixed my gaze back on the gym floor, blending into the background as best as I could.

            Ms. Page finally gave up on nobody tripping and told us to just try and get through the whole dance. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be, even though my feet were feeling very bruised by the end of it. I’d managed to do some improv to avoid the worst of the tripping, which Ms. Page praised me for while simultaneously scolding everyone else to practice more at home. Everyone grumbled their acknowledgement, and we were finally allowed to leave.

            Outside, Michael asked, “Who wants to go to Taco Bell?” Michael was a senior, and he had a car.

            A few people agreed, but Michael specifically looked in our direction. “Holden?”

            Holden looked at me, even though I wasn’t the one being asked. “I think I’m just gonna go home,” I told him.

            Holden turned to Michael. “Yeah, me too. I still have a lot of homework to do.”

            Micheal rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on. You used to hang out all the time.” Everyone knew what Michael wasn’t saying out loud. If there was any doubt, the glare he was giving me cemented it. Holden used to hang out last year, before he met me.

            Holden noticed it, too, his usual carefree smile turning into a slight frown. “Well, things change, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned on his heel and stalked toward the bus, me hurrying to catch up with him.

            I hesitated when he threw himself on the seat at the very back, still glaring. “Are you mad at me?” I came out sounding a lot more like whine than I’d intended.

            His expression immediately softened as he hurried to make room for me on the bench. “No, of course not!” When I sat down, he pressed a kiss to my temple and added, “I could never be mad at you.”

            I relaxed into his arms.

-

            If I was any good at drawing, I’d be able to draw Holden’s room purely from memory by now. I’d rarely spent a single day anywhere else for the past five months, and most of my time was spent staring at the walls while he worked on his homework. I’d given up trying with mine a while ago. I knew there was no point, especially in the afternoon once my Adderall had worn off.

            Holden’s room was how I always imagined mine would be if I could decorate it the way I wanted to. There were two framed posters on the biggest wall, plants on the windowsill that he somehow managed to keep alive, and pieces of furniture he’d been allowed to pick out himself. Best of all was the wall of pictures over his desk. The pictures ranged from him as a baby ‘til now. Some were with friends, some with his family and some with me, and everyone was smiling in each one. I knew that even if I tried to create a wall like that, there wouldn’t be enough people who to cover it with.

            That was fine, though. I could entertain myself, like I did now by opening The Battle of the Labyrinth again. I was rereading the entire series while I waited for The House of Hades to come out, even though I knew it all by heart. If I had to recite that instead of state capitals in school, I’d have A’s all around. When I was little, I used to think my ADHD was proof I was a demigod. I kept waiting for the day I’d be whisked to Camp Half-Blood and meet my real family. Of course, I’d have found a way to convince Chiron to let Alex come, too. Even in my wildest fantasies, I’d never considered leaving him for a second.

            I jumped slightly when Holden sat down next to me suddenly, holding his laptop. He grimaced. “Oh God, sorry.”

            “It’s fine,” I assured him. “Are you done?”

            He nodded and we cuddled up next to each other, my head resting on his shoulder. Holden tried opening Netflix, but announced after a few moments, “The Wifi’s not working. One of us has to go and reset the router.”

            We looked at each other, having a tiny battle of who could do the best puppy-dog gaze.

            “I don’t want to get up,” he complained.

            “Well, neither do I,” I countered.

            “I reset it yesterday!” he protested.

            “Did you? I don’t remember.”

            “I’m pretty sure I did.”

            “I’m pretty sure you didn’t.”

            He shut his laptop. “I guess we’re not watching anything then.”

            That was a move I hadn’t been expecting. “Are you serious?” I pouted.

            “Hey, if it’s that important to you, you can go,” he pointed out.

            I thought about it. “Yeah, no.”

            He laughed, leaning in close. “I know something we can do that we don’t have to leave the bed for.”

            I smirked. “Yeah?”

            We started off slow, kissing each other gently, but then letting things get more heated. He hummed when I kissed down his neck. I loved giving him hickeys. I wished he could give them to me too, but they’d be much too visible. I smiled into my kissed when he slowly started inching his hand up my shirt, but then frowned when he paused. I stopped to see what he was looking at.

            “This one’s knew,” he commented, gently touching the fresh bruise on my chest.

            I winced and he immediately withdrew his hand. “Sorry,” he apologized.

            “It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt that much, I barely even noticed it,” I lied.

            Alex would have known I was lying in a heartbeat, but Holden didn’t know me as well and looked slightly relieved. “Well, that’s good.” He pulled my shirt down again, covering the bruise. “What happened?”

            “Nothing, really,” I explained. “He was just awake longer than usual and ran into me when I was coming home.”

            I could tell Holden really didn’t like that answer. “Jamie, I think we should tell someone.”

            I rolled my eyes. We’d had this conversation before, and he knew my answer hadn’t changed. “No.”

            “Just one adult, Jamie,” he pleaded. “It can be anyone. If I told my parents, they’d know what to do.”

            I struggled to keep my voice level as I bluntly stated, “They won’t because there’s nothing anyone can do.”

            Holden just didn’t get it. “They could call the police,” he argued stubbornly.

            I wondered what it was like living with such wholehearted trust in the system. It must be nice. “If we call the police, he’ll put on a nice smile for them an beat me half to death when they’re gone.” I knew I was right, because that was exactly how it had happened when my second-grade teacher called them. Afterwards, the hospital had sent me right back home to him.

            A tear rolled down Holden’s cheek and he gave a sniffle, which pissed me off. He wasn’t the one who was in danger here. But he didn’t stop crying, and I guessed I felt a little bad, so I let him cry into my shirt. He was just worried and didn’t know any better. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to scare you,” I soothed him as I stroked his hair.

            He sniffed. “I’m scared somethings gonna happen to you.”

            “Well yeah, so am I,” I said a bit too bitterly, and immediately regretted it. But Holden never got mad at me, so he just hugged me even more tightly.

            “Jamie! Holden! Dinner’s ready!” We heard his dad call from downstairs. They’d started simply assuming that I was eating with them a while back.

            We went to wash our hands, spending an extra minute to wash away any evidence of Holden’s tears.

            “Will you boys set the table?” Matt asked us once we arrived downstairs. He was carrying a large steaming pot, so I carefully maneuvered around him to get to the silverware.

            We were having spaghetti. The homemade tomato sauce was a lot better than the cheap store-bought one Alex used to heat up in the microwave. I was pretty sure the strange chucks I was picking at were actual tomatoes. I tentatively poked a small one with my fork and forced myself to swallow it. I’d always hated eating in front of other people, especially when it wasn’t one of my safe foods. Having to pretend I wasn’t literally choking most things down was exhausting.

            “So, how was everyone’s day?” Anna asked like she did every day. I’d only been dealing with it for five months, I couldn’t understand how Holden had managed it his entire life.

            “It was fine, I guess,” Holden mumbled, trying to get out of the question as always. I’d come to realize it was their ritual, because Anna always managed to get all the details out of him in the end. There wasn’t a single aspect of his life Holden was allowed to keep private.

            “You guess?” Anna pried.

            Holden busied himself trying to roll the spaghetti onto his fork. He gave up on the polite way after a few tries and started rolling the fork in the air, which was pretty cute to watch.

            “Holden, don’t play with your food,” Anna said gently but firmly.

            He pouted. “I’m eating it!”

            Whenever he talked back to his parents, I prepared myself for someone to start screaming before I remembered that wasn’t gonna happen here. Instead, Matt made Holden watch while he showed him the correct way to roll spaghetti. “Jamie’s doing it,” he pointed out. “Maybe you should watch him.”

            I hated it when they did that. Pitted us against each other. Couldn’t he have just shown it to him and left it at that? Now, I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, and it was making my skin crawl.

            Thankfully, Anna remembered that it was still supposed to be Holden’s turn in the spotlight. “How’s your solo coming along?”

            Holden nodded with his mouth stuffed full of spaghetti, which Anna patiently waited for him to swallow. “We were mostly practicing the beginning of the routine today,” he finally explained.

            Anna frowned. “Still? Your performance is next week.”

            Holden snorted. “Yeah, and it’s gonna be a… bad show.” I knew he’d narrowly stopped himself from saying shitshow.

            Anna didn’t mention his hiccup. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

            She spent the next few minutes prying about how Ms. Page was handling it, how the moral was among the dancers (what did that even mean?) and figuring out exactly what Holden had ‘learned’ in school today. It was exhausting to watch, but I desperately wished it would go on forever, because once she was satisfied with him, she fixed her gaze on me.

“What about you, Jamie? What did you learn today?”

            This was always the most uncomfortable part, because Anna definitely thought I was being rude when I didn’t answer, but I truly didn’t have a single idea what my teachers had droned on about on any given day. I could barely remember my classes. After what felt like an eternity, Anna gave up on the subject, but she wasn’t completely done with me.

“How are your parents? Are they still working hard?” Anna thought the reason my parents were so nonexistent was because they were workaholics. She’d kind of come up with it on her own, and I’d never corrected her.

“Um, yeah,” I replied, picking at my food. Everyone else had already served themselves seconds, but my plate was still half full.

Anna and Matt shared a look that I didn’t understand, then Matt cleared his throat. “We were thinking of maybe inviting them over to dinner some time. You know, since you’re here so often, and we’ve never met them. They might want to know who their son is spending all of his time with.” He gave a light chuckle at the end.

Red alert. Red alert. Red alert, my brain blared. Had Matt’s gaze always been so piercing? Why was my fork suddenly so heavy? It slipped out of my hand and landed on the plate with a lout clatter, making everyone at the table jump. “Sorry!” I exclaimed, quickly picking it up again.

“It’s alright,” Matt said, even though he looked slightly frazzled. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he looked to his wife for help.

She seemed as lost as him, but she didn’t let it stop her from trying something. “Jamie, honey, is everything… alright?”

My heart was pounding so intensely I could feel it in my fingertips. I set my fork down so I didn’t make the same mistake again and put on my best mask. “Yeah! Sorry, I was thinking of something else. I’ll ask my parents, but I honestly don’t think they’ll be free anytime soon. You've seen how much they work.”

My sudden change in attitude didn’t seem to convince Matt and Anna. I cursed myself for getting too comfortable and letting my mask slip.

“Okay, you do that,” Anna said. “But if you need anything, you can tell us, okay?”

No matter how annoying Anna was, my heart warmed at her genuineness. I almost felt guilty lying to her. Almost. It was a necessary means. I flashed her a brilliant smile. “Thanks, but really, everything��s fine.”

She gave me an uncertain smile back, then transferred the spotlight to Matt. He excelled in it, telling her every conversation he’d had that day almost word for word. Afterwards, he hung onto every sentence as she did the same for him.

Matt always drove me home after dinner. Usually he put on his favorite radio station that only played The Beatles, but today it was silent. Maybe he wanted to give me the room to tell him something. I liked Matt a lot more than I liked Anna. He never forced things out of you, so when we talked, it was always about things we both genuinely wanted to say. I imagined what would happen if I told him about my bruises. He’d freak out, but still manage to keep his cool. He’d wait for me to finish talking and then figure out what to do. He’d only want to call the cops, though, no matter what I said. So I kept my mouth shut.

We said our goodbyes, and I watched him drive off before walking home from the house I always told him was mine. It was only a block away from my actual front door. Taking off, my shoes, I unlocked the front door as slowly as I could before tiptoeing through and closing it a millimeter a second. Then came the stairs, which I inched along, making sure to avoid the creaky ones. If that even mattered with how loudly I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. After maybe ten minutes, I reached the top, where Alex’s bedroom door was waiting open for me. It was right next to mine, which had remained firmly shut since he’d left. I pulled myself under the covers that had stopped smelling like him a long time ago and fell into an uneasy sleep.

-

The next week went by in a blur. Ms. Page made us put in insane hours of extra practice, even managing to pull us out of class, and by the end of it we were actually kind of okay. Lisa wasn’t even stepping on me anymore, and Ms. Page seemed to be finding the joy in her job again.

Then it was an hour before the show, all the parents were trickling into the auditorium, and things were absolutely chaotic backstage. People were running around looking for their missing props, then crashing into others who were pacing out of nervousness. I found a quiet corner and watched. We were all in basic black outfits except for Holden, who had a white skintight shirt. It made him look pretty hot as he frantically tried to help Ms. Page keep everything in order. I saw him scan the room until his eyes fell on me. He tilted his head, silently asking if I was okay. I gave him a thumbs up, and he immediately went back to yelling orders.

Once we were under the blinding lights of the stage, adrenaline took over. I loved these moments, when I didn’t have to think and my body just did. It gave me a few precious moments of peace that were over way too soon, especially considering all the hours of sweat and tears we’d put into the routine. It was humbling realizing that we’d needed half a year to get a few minutes of simple steps right so that our parents could politely clap and forget about it the next day. The adrenaline was already mostly gone by the time Anna and Matt greeted us after the show.

“You did so well!” Anna squealed. “I’m so proud of you both.”

Matt agreed with her, and I let them hug me after they’d nearly suffocated Holden. At first it was awkward, but then I realized I didn’t want to let go. I might have been imagining it, but Matt did seem to let me hold onto him a little longer than normal before they both started fawning over Holden’s solo. I happily joined in, seeing as he had been incredible. He was all smiles, eating the attention up like the shining star he was. And he was my shining star.

I didn’t know what came over me. Maybe it was seeing him so happy, maybe Matt’s hug had given me a false sense of security. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and planted a kiss on his cheek.

After that, everything seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. Holden blushed slightly, and Anna and Matt laughed. Anny got out her phone to take a picture of us, but then her eyes fixed on something behind us. I heard someone gasp and then a voice that never failed to make my blook run cold said, “What the fuck?”

The first hit slammed into my head before I had the time to react. People screamed. I stumbled, dots in front of my eyes, and Holden caught me.

“Get your hands off my son, you fucking fag!”

He was ripped away from me and I fell, Something slammed into my face, then my arm, then my ribs. I was pretty sure I heard a crack. More people were screaming now, some of them calling my name. I ignored them, choosing to curl into a ball and close my eyes. I accepted the beatings until finally, everything went black.

Overview

Next chapter

[henrysglock]

Dustin's relationship with his father in The Dustin Experiment is, in my opinion, very much like Jon and Will's with Lonnie, and I'd like to use some excerpts to talk about it.

I saw this talked about by threemanoperation, so I can't claim that this evidence is an original finding, but I'd like to provide my own take on interpretation of it, because I think there are more excerpts that, when put in context, change the message.

(This is, of course, ignoring everything else about the book and taking it as canon for the sake of argument.)

1.

"When I was eight, my parents came home to find me with our radio broken up into parts and spread all over the living room. My dad was pissed, because it was brand new, and I'm sure it wasn't cheap, but I promised I'd put it back together. Took me three days, but I managed to get it working again in time for his Sunday night football." While speaking, I've already removed the broken cap and cleaned out everything the best I can, though I could do it better if I had more materials at my disposal. "Damn, Henderson," Eddie says. "My dad would have beat my ass." "Oh, he wanted to," I say. "But my mom? She took one look, and she signed me up for science camp." She also divorced my dad a few months later, and shortly after that, moved us back to Hawkins where they had both grown up. (pages 35-36)

2.

"The only life lessons I learned from my dad were how not to act" "I'll drink to that," Eddie says, taking a swig from his can of Coke. Then, "You don't mention your dad that much." I shrug one shoulder. My dad's not something I talk about much or even dwell on. "He lives in Illinois now," I say. "We don't really keep in touch." "Ah, a fellow member of the deadbeat dad club?" Eddie asks with a sympathetic wince. "I mean, kind of? He was more just...an asshole?" I say. "He cheated on my mom when I was a kid, they divorced, she moved us back to Hawkins where they'd both grown up, and that's kind of it." I was too much of a mama's boy at that age to forgive my dad, and he didn't care enough to work past that, and now our relationship is nonexistent. Eddie lets out a low whistle that seems to say sheesh. "Sounds like a dick," he says. "Eh," I say. "I'm not really bothered." As far as I'm concerned, my dad has nothing to do with me. If anything, the way he treated my mom makes me more determined to treat my mom better, and Suzie too. I don't want to be anything like him. Everything that makes me me, I owe to my mom, and my friends, and myself. Walter Henderson gets no claim in how awesome I am, thank you very much. (pages 144-145)

threemanoperation used excerpt #2 to draw a connect with this quote:

To call Lonnie the same kind of asshole as Walter in conjunction with an excerpt from the Hopper novel about compartmentalized memories of trauma—seemingly to paint a picture of Lonnie being a source of buried trauma for Will in a similar way to El's purported dissociative amnesia surrounding the 1979 massacre.

With the added context, I have to wholeheartedly disagree.

Walter was an asshole, but D'Amato makes a point to specify that Walter did not beat Dustin the way Alan beat Eddie, and that Claudia divorced Walter a few months after he even came close to wanting to hit his son. Walter is now entirely absent from Dustin's life, and Dustin doesn't consider him a major influence, let alone a negative influence. In fact, he re-frames Walter as being a source of motivation to be a better person.

We see this same type of effect coming through with Lonnie and Jon:

Lonnie, Jon, Dustin, and Walter are almost beat-for-beat the same. Neither Jon nor Dustin want to become their absentee asshole dads who are worse to their wives than they are to their children—specifically because their wives left them before things could get any worse than they were.

Hell, Lonnie and Joyce separated around the same time Claudia and Walter did in The Dustin experiment:

Claudia left Walter when Dustin was eight. Will, pictured above, is no older than twelve. "Should I Stay or Should I Go" came out in 1982, so realistically, he's no younger than eleven. Given that Joyce is sick of Lonnie's excuses, it's fair to say he's been out of the picture for a decent amount of time, meaning there's only about a two year difference between the two story lines.

Not to mention Lonnie and Walter are also, supposedly, both sports guys. Walter was concerned about his Sunday night football, and Lonnie is a baseball guy:

If we're using the books as source material, then we have to acknowledge the full context.

Walter was not physically abusive, he was just an asshole, mainly to Claudia, and he didn't care enough to be present for his son. I feel the Byers family is much the same—Lonnie was an asshole, mainly to Joyce, and he didn't care enough to show up for his kids in any way. Dustin doesn't have any repressed memories of his father, so it's really hard to use his relationship with Walter to craft a case of Will having repressed memories of Lonnie, let alone Lonnie having actively beaten his sons.

(Again, ignoring the out-of-character portions of the novel and the fact that the novels are loosely canon at best.)

[megamagimugi]

Hey there, my friend! I saw you reblogging an artist ask game, so please allow me to make you a few questions 🥰

How about 2, 12 (I'm interested if you're willing to share!), 15 and 25? 💖

Sure thing, my friend!

Based on this:

2. How long have you been drawing?

Short answer: for as long as I can remember.

Long answer: I drew a lot as a kid (fun fact: I used to make quick uncolored pencil drawings to tell stories, kinda like storyboards; I would do it for hours and use so much paper that my parents eventually told me to draw on both sides😅). The fact that my older sister was very good at drawing - and I was very competitive - also motivated me to work hard and try to get as good as her. Then I drew less often in high school and in my first college since I had less time and was focused on schoolwork, and then started doing it more often again as I now study graphic design and would like to maybe become an animator if possible - the dream job of my childhood that I gave up on too early. When it comes to digital art specifically... I got my tablet, the very same one I use to this day (Wacom Intuos 4), for Christmas when I was about 15 or 16. Because it was so hard for me to learn how to draw digitally, and like I said I soon started spending less time drawing in general, sometimes I didn't use my tablet for long periods of time. That, of course, eventually changed into using it nearly every day.

12. Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

Yes, it's okie dokie to ask!

...Or did you mean you wanted to know right now?

In which case, well, it depends on the medium and the specific piece since I don't always do my art the same way. Generally in digital art, for the characters I like to do a rough sketch first, then either a cleaner sketch or lineart (I rarely bother to do both, even in animation - unless my initial rough animation is like... really rough and basic, just to get the feel of the motion). Then I do flat colors, often on separate layers, and then shade/render each part. Or I do the whole character minus the sketch on one layer, it really depends. For example, I did Mario and Luigi both on one layer in my Brothership repaint/wallpaper, other that the yellow glow on their hands. For backgrounds... it really depends, but I usually build them up layer after layer, from general shapes to details, like a normal painting. Of course, I use some sort of sketch for most of them too, unless I don't need it because the BG is very simple or abstract. If I don't want my sketch to be visible, I basically just remove it and refine the parts that look bad without it, sometimes adding some brush strokes imitating lineart in some places. Happens to both characters and backgrounds. I use different brushes to create different effects, but in the majority of my works I've been sharing on here, I only really use a hard round pressure opacity brush for both the final sketch and rendering.

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete?

This one is always tricky to answer (yes, I've been asked this before by some classmates). Uh, several hours? It's really hard to tell exactly simply because I rarely just sit down and complete a whole piece in one go. Unless it's just a simple sketch/doodle. So in reality my average pieces often take me a few days.

25. Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

There's one piece of advice in Richard Williams' fantastic book The Animator's Survival Kit that I don't think I'll ever be able to heed. It's this one:

Sorry but no, I do almost everything with music. It makes things more enjoyable and ironically makes it easier to focus in the long run. So, definitely drawing with music💯😁

Thank you so much for the ask, @silenzahra!😊

[holly-fixation]

Seraphic and Sinister: Ch 7

Summary: Sephiroth learns that he has a child, a lab made specimen existing under the same terrible conditions he was raised in. In a moment of pure rage, he rescues his child. However, his fate has long been sealed, but the child’s fate is unknown. 

Never did he expect the cadet that killed him to take responsibility for the heir of His planet. 

Inspired by various asks to @rottenpumpkin13

Chapter 7: Recognition and Recall

After the inevitable retrieval Barret's daughter, the group checked the clock, the ticking deciding the short time before departure. 

“You better come back okay, ya hear?” the little girl with short brown hair and a dollish pink dress copied her father's tone exactly. 

Barret gave a hearty laugh as he lifted her into one last hug. “I promise, Baby Girl. You won't see a single cut!” He tossed her up once, and she laughed too as he lowered her back down. 

Jessie gave Tifa a friendly punch to the shoulder. “Hold down the fort while we're gone.”

“You'll still have a place to drink when you get back. Count on it,” Tifa smiled. 

“You still make the best dumplings!” Wedge added. 

“Well don't scare her off or we won't have a place to sleep.” Bigg smacked his teammate on the back with a smirk. 

The child in the hoodie stood rigidly in front of the blonde. “Be careful. Come back to me.” 

Cloud ruffled her hair through the hood. “Always. I've got this.”

Inhuman eyes stared desperately but turned after a moment of silence. 

After the final exchange of goodbyes, the bar owner, the daughter, and the child Cloud arrived with remained. 

The child began walking to the corner when the daughter blocked her path. 

“You have really nice eyes.” 

Tifa cringed.

“...thanks. But it's a secret from everybody. You can't tell anyone.”

“I won't! I'm good with secrets!” She held up two fingers, nearly jumping with joy. “This is how many I have.” She counted and held up another. “Well this many now.”

“Three.”

“Mhm! How many do you have?”

Sera crossed her arms, turning away. “Too many.”

“How many?”

“A lot.” She walked past Barret's little girl. 

“That's so cool!” Marlene followed. “What are you doing?”

Sera didn't answer, only grabbing the rags and sanitizing solution once again. 

“Cleaning? That's boring. Why don't we do something fun?” 

“I don't get time for fun.”

“That doesn't make any sense!”

“Girls,” Tifa opened a drawer and placed papers and crayons on the bar. “Why don't you two draw?”

“I like drawing! Do you like drawing, Sera?”

“No.” She scoured the bar for any untouched surface with the slightest speck of dust. 

“Sera,” Tifa placed a hand on her shoulder, and the girl stopped but did not look at her. “Those cleaning supplies aren't cheap. You've done enough.”

“That section of floor looks better than the rest.” 

Red eyes followed to a slightly more vibrant section of wood. She sighed. “You're tearing off the polish. It might look better now but it fades faster than the rest and now it's not as protected.”

“...I apologize. I'll make it up to you.” The girl walked out of her grip and traded the cloth and liquid for a dustpan and broom. 

“Marlene, why don't you hang out in the hideout for a little while?” 

She pouted. “But I want to play with my new friend!” 

Tifa crouched down. “I promise. Give me a few minutes and I'll get her to play, alright?”

The girl in pink lit up before running to the pinball machine and smacking a specific sequence of buttons. The panel clicked and began to descend. 

The child stared hard, turning away only when a fake section of floor replaced the secret passage. 

“What's your deal?” Tifa's fists clenched as she dropped the parental tone, biting and harsh as she stepped toward the Inhuman child.

“You're being so kind. I have to pay you back.”

“That's not what I'm talking about.”

Sera didn't answer, squatting down and sweeping under the booths. 

“You're lying to me and you're lying to Cloud.”

“You're lying to Cloud too.”

Crimson eyes hardened. 

But the child continued with her task. “He's… weird. You've noticed it too.”

“What's your plan with him?”

“Plan?”

“If you hurt him, I swear I'll-” The clanking of the broom falling to the ground cut her off. 

“I will never hurt Cloud.”

“If you hurt him or get him hurt, I'll make sure you regret it.”

Reptilian slits burned against tiny moons. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“You should know why.”

She shook her head. “I don't. I really don't.”

“Look in the mirror.”

“...Because of my dad?”

Tifa's eye twitched, fury boiling in her chest. “So you know?”

“My dad only tried to help.” 

“And you repay my kindness with blatant lies?”

“I'm telling the truth! That's what he told me!” She cut herself off, water welling in mako blue eyes. “My dad died five years ago…” She shook her head rapidly. “We both know we can't tell Cloud what we know. He just…” More hidden truths as the girl switched the statement. “The less information we both know the less we have to hide.”

“You'd love for me to not say anything when he clearly doesn't know who your father is.”

“It's pretty obvious who my father was.” She tugged her hood back into place, starry hair shifting into knots. 

Tifa tightened her gloves, flexing her grip. “Last chance. What are you trying to do with Cloud?”

The child's hand hovered above her hilt. A balanced moment passed before she took a breath and softened her stance. “...I don't know what I'll do if I lose him too...”

The woman stepped forward. She tried to hide the small shake of her body. “You have the audacity to talk about losing people?”

Sera growled, her hovered hand clenching to a fist. “You don't have to like me. You don't have to trust me. I don't want to take Cloud away from the only other person he knows but we have to protect each other.”

“I have to protect him too.”

Inhuman eyes softened again. “He's not making sense and I don't know what else to do…”

Her grip loosened. 

“He told me to be kind to Cloud and I'm trying with everything I have but he's not making sense. He's forgetting things he should know,” the panic made her voice waver. Tifa heard the true age of the child for the first time: a young helpless child only trying to survive. “I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know anything.”

“Who told you to be kind to Cloud?”

“It doesn't matter because he's dead! I buried him myself!”

Silence claimed the building. 

The child turned away, gaze and expression hidden by the hood. “So you can do or say whatever you want, but I'm not going anywhere without Cloud if it's the last thing I do.”

‘She's practical.’ Cloud's words rang in her head. “...I can't believe you if you can't tell me the truth. I have to know something even if it means more secrets to keep.” 

Serpentine eyes roamed the floor as if skimming a book for the answer she needed. She curled up before answering slowly, “The morning before Nibelhiem burned, I attended your morning aerobics class… the one for the elderly… Because my dad left me with the SOLDIER…”  

Tifa's eyes widened. 

“I was across the street and tried not to draw attention but you saw me and smiled… I never said a word but neither did you...”

Tifa held a hand over her mouth, attempting to deflect the memories that came with the town beyond the child's lineage. “...So when Cloud said he found you on the the run from Shinra-”

She shook her head. 

The older woman sighed. “Well if you're not leaving without Cloud, at least be nice to Marlene.”

Sera stared, her expression blank. 

“By playing.”

The little girl looked away, gripping her arm. “...I can… try…”

“And no more cleaning.”

Her brows furrowed. “...for today?”

Another released breath. “Sure. For today.”

“Deal.”

* * * 

Security officers, automatic turrets, automated soldiers and house sized robots, nothing could take Cloud down.

Collapsing pillars, comrades pinned to the ground, forces coming from all directions. All met the same condition. 

Mission objective accomplished. The mako pipe of Mako Reactor One was destroyed, but the resultant explosions far exceeded what AVALANCHE planned for. Next goal: returning to Sector Seven while shaking security forces off their tail. Cloud had no doubt they would spot him eventually. 

He was a mercenary. He knew what to do in the face of combat. 

At the moment, the team split up, agreeing to return to the train station without drawing attention as a group. 

Citizens screamed as they ran through the streets. Parents pulled their children out of burning and collapsing buildings. Roadways were blocked with debris and fire. 

Cloud climbed fire escapes, traversed alleys, and weaved through crowds to keep moving forward. But the sight of windows filled with fire, the knowledge that those within would be dead before help could arrive, the inevitability of the orange glow coupled with death he could not prevent-

The brick and concrete buildings around him faded, fusing with wooden homes and triangular roofs. Dirt paths intercepted the asphalt road. A windmill stood at the tip of a radio tower. 

…mako fumes. This must be a hallucination caused by mako fumes. Despite logic telling him the truth, the heat of the flames, the sight of his hometown, the overwhelming stench of smoke, and the sight of tall silver hair clad in black leather and white pauldrons claimed his senses.

“It's fake…” Cloud told himself out loud as he followed the stride he could never forget. “It's fake… it's not real, get it together…” 

Yet the overwhelming flames continued. Sweat dripped down his brow. He legs refused to move faster, his chest too tight to run through and prove the falsity quickly. 

The man with silver hair stood tall, walking casually through the fire. Cloud saw no other choice but to follow into an alley. 

There, in front of the destruction of his childhood home, he saw the man's face. The angelic beauty and inhuman eyes that took everything he loved away from him. 

“You…” Cloud's strength fell to weakness. “You're dead…” He felt his heartbeat in his throat. 

But the man before him didn't answer. Cloud expected the smallest sadistic grin, one of the last expressions and emotions the man before him could portray. Yet all he saw was rage. Eye brows tightened just so. The curt upper lip was almost snarling. Mako blue slits seared like an inferno, the faux flames around them nothing but candles in its presence. 

“I… I killed you with my own-” Clouds hands raised. When did they start shaking?

The man said nothing, predatory eyes hardening. 

The blond felt a chill up his spine. He grabbed his sword. 

“Run, Cloud…”

Mom…?

“Run away… You have to leave… You have to live…” 

It was her voice. A moment he would never forget. A moment that played in his mind every day for years. 

Still, silver stared back at him. 

Sephiroth stared back at him. 

“You bastard!” Cloud launched into the air. The Buster Sword collided against the ground and the flames around him vanished. 

A hallucination. He sighed in relief, panting to regain his thoughts. Just the mako. Just the mako…

.

.

.

.

To be continued…

Chapter list 

Thanks for reading!

[squircatlies]

Today is the day I unleash my Mr. Bonzo fanart upon this webbed site.

This post is relatively safe up until the cut.

Is the *tips fedora* meme over a decade old? Yes. Do I care? No, absolutely not.

~

Now this is where I recommend "getting off" this post to anyone bothered by graphic depictions of body horror, blood, violence, or Mr. Bonzo (monster, not mascot like above).

I know the first image is silly, but I cannot stress enough how serious I am when I say:

Proceed at your own risk.

Now that you have chosen to continue, I have arranged the images in order of least to most vile and disturbing (though that might be slightly subjective on my part).

Remember that you can click off this post at any time.

Final warning: split tongue Bonzo.

I tried channeling Julia Drawfee with the lineart a little bit. Didn't feel like shading that one, so it's a bit flat.

Where did I lose my colours? Plot twist: the first image in this post is actually the last I've made, so technically I gained the colours. I wanted it to have more of a cheery vibe, unlike the ones under the cut, which I wanted to be kinda dreary and I feel like adding too much colour can mess that up.

Alright, I'll address the tongue. Remember how his head splits in tmagp 12? Yeah, it's a nod to that and also I asked myself "how do I make his design worse than it already is?" and that's the only answer I could come up with. I debated adding stitches connesting the two halves of the tongue but couldn't figure out how, so you're welcome. It will be present in all the upcoming drawings as well.

~

The next one is bloody, but it's not that much worse than the previous one overall.

I was playing with filters after I was done with this piece, because I felt like it lacked something, but didn't know what. Really liked this one, I think it's some sort of a gradient map. It pixelised the image and adjusted the colours a bit, it also really made the blood pop out, though it covered up some of the details.

Why did he lose his hat? It's stupid and hard to draw.

You may have noticed the artstyle change a little, the previous images having neat lineart and little to no shading. That's because I am using different tools, sketchy and soft brushes, that allow me to experiment with lighting and textures more (plus the aforementioned filter altering the image even further).

~

Alright, I feel like this last image deserves a separate warning. It references episode 12 (spoiler ahead), specifically the moment before the bartender loses a hand, though it's not entirely accurate. It's rendered in more detail than any of the previous images, so keep that in mind before scrolling down.

Basically it's pov: Bonzo licks your hand.

I feel like I could've made his tongue bigger in this one, it seems kinda small compared to his mouth. I really like how the skin on his face ended up looking. It took a lot of work.

The spit makes it look weirdly sexual, doesn't it? Listen, that was not my intention, but I'm not erasing it. I set out to make the worst thing I could and, though not without cost, I have achieved it.

I tried splattering Bonzo in blood, but it wasn't really working for me and it covered up a lot of the detail I liked, so I just put it in the background.

The human hand is drawn from reference, which I found by googling "hand reaching out away from the viewer". And let me tell you: google is shit at looking for drawing references, but I figured it was just going to be a sketch to explore an idea, so I didn't bother trying to get a better one. And then I fixated on it for a couple hours, you know, like a normal person.

I literally (and I mean no exaggeration) dusted off my drawing tablet after a few months of no use to spend the entire weekend, after tmagp 12 came out, glued to the screen making those images, except for the b'onzo one, which I made this evening.

Just to clarify: I drew all of those by myself. No filthy AI image generation is allowed in this house. I am capable of committing far greater sins than an artificial intelligence ever will.

The only thing left here is to extend my sincere congratulations/condolences to whoever got this far. It's up to you to either think you're brave or realise that you're foolish for doing so, but be comforted by the fact that at least you didn't make this post, which I cannot say for myself.