#🔍 cynosure

[kahvilahuhut]

wip intro: cynosure

image credit (unsplash)

For two decades, no one has touched the files of an abandoned project, once a spark of hope, now a shameful page of history. But after a violent conflict between two rivaling corporations, they have both decided to restart the project as their joint flagship project, either to show the world that they can, too, work together, or to show the other corporations they can't be beat.

While everything looks fine from the public's point of view, not everything is as well as it seems. Tensions between the two rivaling corporations, pressure in the project itself, and as a cherry on the top, concerns about the person who was picked for one of the top roles - and who had caused the previous project to end in a rather chaotic way. And who is not afraid to voice its opinions loudly again.

Cynosure follows a scientist, returning to the project it had hoped to forget, desperately trying to do things well this time, and not let others ruin it all. It also follows a corporate agent, placed into the project to watch over the work atmosphere and make sure nothing bad happens. And of course, as we all can guess, something bad happens.

status: outlining and brainstorming some more. <3

genre: soft science fiction, thriller, cyberpunk-ish?

pov: three different third person povs (Klara, Tobias & Samuel)

warnings: swearing, unethical research choices, violence, guns, murder, torture, blood, gore, alcohol, smoking, mental health problems, physical health problems, relapsing into bad habits, to be added

interested to hear more? check out the taglist

[gullwrites]

what happens, happens

photo source

Kind of a Cynosure prequel, though I have definitely been thinking of putting it in either as a prologue or Act 2 beginning in some way, probably a bit edited. This one has been on my mind for a while, hehe.

Summary: A medical examiner arrives to work in the morning and finds an unexpected guest by her door.

Warnings: Mentions of death, autopsies, unethical research practices

Dr. Campo entered the building, slightly shaking off the waterdrops off her umbrella before leaving it in the basket by the door. She could have sworn the weather forecast didn't have rain for today, at least in the morning. Driving to work was incredibly annoying today, and the darkness of 5AM didn't help.

On one hand, she enjoyed coming to work at 6 in the morning. The offices are empty and no one comes to annoy her while she's working - not that they come down there that much, barely anyone has business in a megacorporate autopsy - and she gets to leave two hours earlier, in theory, at least. She mostly just takes two hours during lunch to see her spouse or go meet up with friends. It's not like the corporates would let her leave at 2PM, especially with the tendency to give her too much work sometimes, especially paperwork.

She smiled at the security guard as a 'hello', quickly showing her ID card as she passed by. The same woman has worked here for years, and was always on the morning shifts. Dr. Campo felt like they have, in some ways, turned into friends that way, sometimes stopping to have a conversation on different topics.

Today, though, she sadly didn't have the time to do that. Waking up and seeing that there's an urgent case that needs to be solved really annoyed her, in a way.

She entered the elevator and swiped her left wrist by the chip reader to gain access to the lower floor. Sometimes she wondered what's the point of the ID cards if all the info can be found on the chip. Not that touching everyone's wrists sounded more exciting.

As she stepped out on her floor into the corridor, she stopped. Someone was there, by her workplace door, sitting on the floor. Deep in their thought, clearly, as they didn't seem to notice her arrival and instead continued reading something, the unnaturally dark purple hair being lit by the hologram view of the document.

Dr. Campo switched the lights on and cleared her throat. "Can I help you?"

They looked up, surprised that someone was standing in front of them. It took them a while - to collect their thoughts, she thought -before they could answer, "Um, yes. I'm here about Dr. Nejem."

"Who?"

"The, um, the woman who died in one of the labs yesterday? They said you'd be the one who would, um, see what was the cause of death," they "explained". She heard the person's voice shake a little, as if they were clearly upset by this topic.

"Wait a moment," she said and took out her tablet, "Hm, no, I haven't checked the body yet," she noticed the person wince at the word 'body', as if it somehow hurt them. "Who are you, again?"

The person sat still for a moment, looking at her, before slowly rising up, slightly leaning on the wall for support, left leg slightly bent. "I, um, I'm Ripley," it mumbled and showed Dr. Campo its ID card. Dr. Ripley T. Katz, pharmaceutical chemist, R&D department, and additional info like pronouns, home office and the other things corporate cared about. She looked at its face again, frowning. It looked younger than her daughter, and seemed to have already lost the happiness it showed on the ID card photo.

"This, uh, Dr. Nejem, a collegue of yours, I assume?"

Ripley nodded, but didn't seem to want to say anything else.

"You mentioned she died in a lab? Was it an accident, self-inflicted, caused by-"

"She took an experimental drug we are working on, hoping it would help with her injury," it said, its voice slightly shaking again, forcing it to pause for a moment. As it took a deep breath, it continued, "I'm, um, sorry, I'm not sure if I can say anything else, I-"

"I understand," she said, hoping that would calm it down a little. It wasn't her first secret project case the higher-ups had thrown to her. Definitely not the last, either. So much for the two-hour lunch break, though. "Anything else I should know?"

The chemist looked at her tablet. "It's in the report."

"Hm. So what are you doing here? I can't give you anything yet, as I've just arrived here. Come back in a few hours a-"

"Can I stay?"

"What? Why?"

"I, um... I feel like I owe it to her, as in, to find out what went wrong as soon as possible, I-" it paused, looking for the right words, "If it wasn't for me, this wouldn't have happened... She would've still live... It's, um, my fault?"

"What, was it you who gave her the substance or something?"

Its eyes widened, and frown on its mouth got wider. "No! I would never, that's- It's still in the early stage, why would I ever want to give it to a human at that point?"

"Then what is your pr-"

"I'm the one who came up with the idea for this thing, I-" it looked down and covered its face with its hands, "If I never got this idea, this wouldn't have happened. That's why I need to figure out what went wrong. Why she died. So I could fix it."

Dr. Campo stared at it for a moment. She never agreed with the company's idea of taking young scientists and working on their ideas, but this just made her hate the whole thing. A twenty-year-old should be enjoying its life, not blame itself for causing someone's death in a corporate lab, which it most likely had no control over. "Well, it was her choice, then, to take it, no?"

"Uh, what?"

"She chose to use it?"

"I, um, yes? I guess? But-"

"Then it's not something you can be responsible for."

Ripley stared at her with its dark brown eyes, clearly not believing her - or then just not being able to.

She thought how long it's been waiting for her here, the whole night? She doubted it would go home if she didn't let it in. "Fine, if you really want to, you can come inside and sit somewhere," she said as she opened the door.

It slowly followed her inside, then stopped near one of the tables close to the exit. After slowly looking around the room and not noticing a chair nearby, it sat on the table, wrapping its arms around self. "It's, um, kinda cold."

"A little, yes," she said as she turned away from it and walked to her desk. Her co-worker had left a few notes for her, one sticked to the hologram projector she used instead of a screen. She placed her tablet down and connected it to the projector, and quickly swiped through the tabs to find the correct one. "Okay, so, first off, I-" she turned back to the chemist, only to notice that it had curled up on the table, looking like it was asleep. It probably tried to look for a comfier position to sit in, and it ended up being too comfortable, she assumed.

Dr. Campo considered waking it up, at first, but then stopped. This way, it'd be less likely to slow her down with questions or by doing something, or just moving around as she worked. And no one would show up, anyway, so it was unlikely anyone would say anything about it.

Besides, it looked exhausted. Like it really needed some sleep.

She turned away and started preparing for the procedure.

[gullemoji]

"That's so ridiculous, don't they have anything else to do?" it muttered as it continued cutting the carrots. "Yeah, well, even worse, they also want you to join the project-" Tobias winced, though Klara wasn't sure what exactly was the reason - the idea that it would have to work on all that again, or that it accidentally slightly cut its finger as it concentrated on what she was saying. Whatever, she thought and reached for the first aid kit.

working on the beginning of my story :3c

[kahvilahuhut]

CYNOSURE POV CHARACTER INTROS | Klara / Tobias / Samuel

Samuel rolled his eyes. "Why do we need this guy?" "Well, the original project? It's its doctorate topic. It's quite literally its project." "It still sounds like bad news." "Well, it did also try to whistleblow it."

Tobias is one of the three pov characters in Cynosure. The seemingly always optimistic scientist who somehow still believes in humanity, despite everything.

Cynosure taglist (dm/reply/refer to this post to be included!)

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @artbyeloquent @dekarios

@fashionablyfyrdraaca @shadowfells

unsplash image credits: 1 2 3

sun drawing is a free graphic on canva

[kahvilahuhut]

CYNOSURE POV CHARACTER INTROS | Klara / Tobias / Samuel

"And you picked me because...." "Because you're talented, keep things under control-" "-You mean talk my way out in situations where others would choose violence." "Yeah, yeah. Though I do know you have a knife in your pocket, 'just in case'..."

Klara is one of the three pov characters in Cynosure, a Mackie agent being there to help keep things balanced, while also juggling working for several other projects.

Cynosure taglist (dm/reply/refer to this post to be included!)

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @artbyeloquent @dekarios

@fashionablyfyrdraaca @shadowfells

Aesthetic pics from Unsplash: 1 2 3

Moon drawing is a free Canva design.

[kahvilahuhut]

CYNOSURE POV CHARACTER INTROS | Klara / Tobias / Samuel

"Samuel? I know him, he's a, well, how should I put it... He's talented, charming, definitely knows how to get people on his side." "But?" "He, well, doesn't like when people go against him. Or if something doesn't go his way. If you know what I mean."

Samuel is one of the three pov characters in Cynosure. A charming leader of the project who will do his best to make sure everything goes as planned.

Cynosure taglist (dm/reply/refer to this post to be included!)

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @artbyeloquent @dekarios

@fashionablyfyrdraaca @shadowfells

aesthetic pic unsplash links: 1 2 3

hand drawing is a free canva graphic

[kahvilahuhut]

how are you?

Summary: Klara, returning from a work trip, decides to ask how her spouse is doing after, well, everything. She does get some kind of answers, I guess? Basically something that happens between Cynosure and Periphery :)

warnings for somewhat serious mental health problems, 'vague' mentions of torture/murder attempt

---

Klara walked out of the bathroom, bathrobe on, along with some fluffy socks she managed to fish out of the box before leaving for the shower. She decided to skip the bath, despite feeling like it would've made it better. She'd rather take a wuick shower right now and spend time with Tobias as they were waiting for dinner. Klara thought about the snacks she managed to eat during the flight and the road back home, realizing how that most definitely was not enough for her. She turned to the kitchen, carefully looking at the floor to make sure the cats haven't moved their bowls right by the entrance, thinking if it would be a good idea to eat something else, or if she should just wait for the dinner. The feeling of tiredness did tell her that it was probably a good idea to get something.

As she looked around, wondering if she should look into the cupboard or the fridge first, she heard footsteps from behind and turned to see Tobias, standing by the door, standing so still she found it weird - definitely not how it was usually like, like leaning on the doorframe or moving at least some part of its body. "I, um, I made you a yogurt with some fruits and berries while you were showering, in case you needed it. It's in the fridge," it said, hands in its pockets of its cardigan instead of doing the typical hand gestures it'd make while talking.

"Thank you, darling," she smiled at it, and saw it smirk slightly as a reply.

Klara opened the fridge and took out the small bowl, feeling like almost tearing up as she saw the little heart shape it had formed with the fruit pieces and berries. She turned back to the door to say something about it, but noticed that it had already left somewhere, only leaving the scent of its strawberry body cream float around the place it had just been standing at. Klara sighed, lazily took out the spoon and ate her yogurt.

The thoughts about Tobias and its weird behavior filled her mind. It's clear that it's all because of what happened, she thought, but more importantly she was thinking of how to make it feel better, again. When she came home, it slowly appeared from the bedroom, head showing up carefully from the doorway first, as if checking if it's safe to go and see who arrived. It seemed tired, a little bit not there, probably awoken from a nap. At least, based on its outfit - a purple stringbody with a cardigan on, with wooly socks protecting its legs - it wasn't doing anything but chilling.

Klara was just going to apologize for waking it up as it came closer, but decided not to as it just silently hugged her, burying its face in her neck, and just stood there for a moment before letting go and quickly saying that its glad she's home. Klara, then, went to the shower and asked if it wants to join, which it politely declined and went to the kitchen.

Now, when she's thinking of all that again and how that didn't really seem like what it usually is like, she felt worried. It barely talked about how it is doing during their daily calls, dodging the questions whenever she decided to ask about it. Maybe she could ask about it more easily now?

She washed the bowl and walked out of the kitchen. It was sitting on the couch in the middle, head turned towards the window as if looking for something there, or thinking of something. As she approached, Tobias turned to look at her - a slightly confused expression on its face she caught a glimpse of, before it turned into a happy face in a second or two. Klara sat in the corner of the couch, and slightly moved closer, before laying down, placing its head on her lap.

"Hi there, again," it murmured, looking up at her with a small smile on its face.

"Hi there, dear," she replied, "Thanks for the yogurt. And for the little berry art on it."

It smiled at her as a reply. "I thought it would look cute, and cheer you up after a long trip," is said, "It's nice to have you here again."

Klara had just came back from another work trip, the third one in last two months, longer than the others. She hated how she had to be away from home for three weeks, especially after everything that happened. If only she'd be brave enough to say that to Sarah, she thought. "It's nice to be home, at last," she said, "I really missed the cats... and they didn't even appear to say hi."

"They were both sleeping last time I saw them, Melody on the cat tree and Song on the bed."

"Hm. Oh, to be a cat taking a nap right now," she said and leaned back. Her hand reached its, and she gently held it for a moment before rising it to kiss it. "I missed you so much."

It smiled. "I missed you, too. A lot."

Klara looked at it, before asking, "How are you doing?"

"Fine, I guess? "

"That doesn't sound like the truth..."

"I, um, fine, I..." it paused, and Klara watched it stare at the roof as it was looking for a word to use. "I don't know," it mumbled, finally, "Thing is, I feel like I don't feel anything right now? Nothing coherent enough, at least. I'm guessing that's not a normal thing, right?"

"No." Klara realized she might have been too straighforward. "Though, considering everything, I guess it makes sense."

It stayed quiet for a moment, staring at the roof. "I don't want things to make sense 'considering everything,'" it said at last, a frown on its face, "It makes me feel like people specifically act like there's nothing wrong with me, as if admitting that would offend me... I don't need that kind of special treatment."

"I don't think you can call telling someone they need to rest and slowly get better after they nearly died a special treatment, but I do get your point, I guess?"

"Mmh. I do think that the only thing I feel like right now is that I want to sleep..." Tobias turned to its side, face leaning into her stomach, and wrapped its arms around her. "But every time I try I just...can't. It just doesn't work. Or it works, and I am soon awake again due to some nightmare, shaking and all, trying to understand where the fuck am I. I'm in our bedroom and yet it still takes me time to realize that, and that whatever I experienced moment ago doesn't exist - in a way."

Klara sighed, gently placing her hand on its head to stroke its hair, frowning a little as she felt its body tense slightly at the touch, before relaxing again. She was aware that what it had been through could lead to this - getting scared of or flinching away at sudden movements and touches - but boy, had she hoped it would have been free of this. How long would it take for it to feel safe anywhere again, she thought, realizing how stupid the question is. "Why didn't you mention this before?" She asked, as she brushed her fingers through its hair.

"I didn't want to, um, bother you with that. Make you worry. Especially since you were on a work trip, anyway - not like you could have done anything at that moment," it replied, adding quickly, "not that I find that bad or anything, um. I know what your job's like, and I know how one shouldn't go against Sarah. So I don't really mind. You've done so much already, I, um, feel kinda bad about it. That doesn't make sense, I know, I'm - my thought are all over the place, sorry."

Klara bit her lip as it said the last part out loud, thinking how much damage the events have actually made for it to go back to such thoughts she was sure it hadn't had for years. "Don't be ridiculous, that's kinda my responsibility, you fool" she said, trying her best to keep a playful tone as she softly rubbed its cheek with her thumb. "I could have left early. Or asked someone to come over. Like your parents."

It chuckled slightly. "Both of them? God, imagine the drama that would lead to."

"Give them some credit, I'm sure most of your nonconfrontational tendencies were learnt from them, or something," she said and noticed a smile widen on its face, "Okay, fine. Maybe I'd rather opt for friends, instead. Like Leon, who literally lives on the same street."

"He came by at some point during one afternoon, actually. Brought me a few chocolate croissants and a noodle soup from that new restaurant nearby."

"Huh. Speaking of, have you been in any new places lately, like that one new store? Or got something else from that noodle place?" Tobias didn't answer, its eyes closed and the smile gone again. Klara winced, trying to think of what exactly she said that could have led to this. "Or, went for a walk somewhere?" She continued, waiting for some kind of reaction from it.

Finally, as it moved its head even closer to her - for warmth and comfort or to hide its expression, Klara wondered - Tobias mumbled, "I haven't stepped outside. For a week." Klara felt like her whole body turned cold from the revelation, as it stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, "I tried twice, or thrice. Stopped right next to the front door at first, couldn't get my hand to open it. Second time I had just got dressed, went to get out of the bedroom and then stopped right between the rooms. Some vehicle with sirens drove past, made me think of, you know, and I just backed away to get the home clothes back on. Third time - if you can even call it that - was just a simple glance on the clothes rack. Didn't do anything after that. It's, um, what if something happens, you know? Or someone doesn't care about what's happening and wants to finish what they started? At least I can always get some fresh air by opening the windows. And I can finally play with the cats more than before."

Klara sat still, trying to understand everything she had just learned, to piece things together to have something to base her reaction on. "I'm going to be honest right now. That sounds bad. Like, fucked up type of bad."

"I know. Thank you."

"What?"

"Thank you for your honesty. I really need it."

"You can't be serious-" she closed her mouth and sighed. "You need help. Professional kind of one. Have you talked about it with your therapist, at least?"

"I, um. We had one appointment where I basically, well, gave an update on what happened a few weeks ago. And how I'm feeling."

"And?"

"She said she's very sorry to hear that. And that she unfortunately thinks that she has no skills to help me with all that. So I guess I'm looking for a new therapist who, you know, can work with someone who has been tortured by corporate mercenaries and almost died."

Klara stared at it. "And you didn't tell me this because...?"

"I guess I was, um, still processing the whole thing? Could realize that it actually happened? Until you mentioned it now, that is," it stayed quiet for a moment, "Oliver said he knows some guy - works as a therapist, kinda, I guess? - who I could turn to, but, um, he is kinda busy right now so I said I could wait."

"Tobias, for fuck's sake, can you act selfish for at least once in your life, please?" She watched it clumsily shake its head as an answer. "I'm going to talk to Oliver about that." She felt like grabbing the man's collar and shaking him a little before yelling 'how can you be so fucking blind about your child's condition'. Not like he had any reason to take care of a suddenly found long lost child, she thought, but since he gave the idea, might as well take the responsibility for it.

"You don't have to, really, I-"

"Don't you even try to say that you're fine-"

"I'm not. I was saying that I can wait a little more. I think. Besides, I feel better now that you're here..." it said, "I know, that must sound pathetic and, well, maybe a bit unhealthy or something. Probably. I have no psychological knowledge so I couldn't say. But, um, it is what it is. I'm, um, very glad you're here."

Klara felt a lump in her throat, finding it hard to manage to say anything to that, and because it seemed to be in its weird mood it has gets into when it's doing really bad - trying to explain things through logic and things it had heard of before, as if trying to distance itself from how it's doing. And while it probably thought it was logical and sounded like it's aware of its situation, it wasn't really like that. She debated whether she should say something about it, but instead, she moved slightly to be able to lean above it, and softly kissed its head. "You should have asked me to stay."

"No, I shouldn't have. It might've made things different, but how would it have affected you, then? It's hard to take care of people in a situation like mine, and getting you overwhelned about all these things is the last thing I want." Klara tried to say some kind of a reply to that, but it added, "And like I said, I don't mind this, either. I'll, um, I'll get out of this. Somehow. At some point. I just need some time. And help, like you said."

"Sunshine, I-"

"By help I mean an actual professional, don't worry, I- um. You know." It slowly sat up, barely managing to hold itself up with its arms as it was rising, and turned to face her, it's head close to hers. "I know you want to help, I understand, and you have no idea how loved and grateful that makes me feel. But the thing is, that won't be good for you because it just means more stress and tasks and, um, loss of income. Which we really can't afford. And I'm not just parroting what I learned from decades in therapy, I do think that it's not a good idea," Tobias said, nervously laughing at the end.

Klara rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean you can't tell me how you feel, or if something's bothering you," she said, "Because seeing you not doing well but not knowing why creates stress by itself, you know. You said the same thing to me at some point, too."

It stared at her for a moment, as if slowly realizing her point. "I see. You're, um, you're right, Klara. It is kinda stupid of me," it murmured, "It's just, hard? I think the problem is that I find it hard to understand how I feel, in a way, and somehow think that there's really no point of saying anything about it? Brain is a complicated thing sometimes." Just as Klara was going to reply, it gently placed its hands on her cheeks, "But I'll try to be more open about it, I promise. I, um, appreciate you being here for me. I love you so much," it added and softly kissed her.

Klara smiled against its slightly-dry lips, kissing them back and cupping its face with her hands as if afraid it won't stay there for long - a foolish thought, rooted in her own nightmares and thoughts after the events, but she wanted it to be close, to feel its face, for it to feel her loving hands. She felt Tobias's hands move from her cheeks to her shoulders and her back, its arms slowly moving to wrap around her in some kind of hug.

As its head moved a bit a way to lean its cheek against hers, to have a more comfortable hug position, Klara said quietly, "Just remember to talk to me about this, every now and then, alright?"

It kissed her cheek. "Of course, honey."

"Good. It means a lot, to know how you're doing and you sharing it."

"Good to hear," it laughed and moved to face her again, "Now, how about we finally order food and watch your tv shows."

Klara chuckled. "God, yes, please, that sounds wonderful."

[kahvilahuhut]

🔍 cynosure status update

i mean. it's also periphery update too though. teehee. feel free to also check out the drawing here!

🤍 New to the story? Check out the (current) wip intros: Cynosure / Periphery

omg it's been a while, hasn't it? haha. i must admit i might have gotten A Bit too deep into some university assignments (+ my thesis). I do sometimes talk about the story on my main, too, but it's nothing that important for the story itself, mostly just some fun facts about the characters, which means that most of the development I've done is in my brain. Or is nonexistent or something. ANYWAY! Here's a status update to tell what has been happening lately! Might actually make this into something I post every now and then.

In this status update I'm going to talk a little about how it's going with the story, overall thoughts, plot/character changes and some things you can expect during next few weeks (hopefully). I'll put it all under the cut to keep this short on the dashboard 🥰

Like always, if you have any questions about the story, feel free to send an ask - I'll always be happy to answer 🤍

overall thoughts

Right now one of my top thoughts is honestly debating whether i want to, like, actually write this somewhere as a nove, or whether I should do it as a graphic novel or something. That said, if I do go with the latter, you can still expect writing bc I like to write things out to plan them. Or vise versa make some kind of sketches for writing. My brain works in a weird way, I know lol

I have been doing some worldbuilding (specifically for the story AND something for the overall story world that I have). Let me know if you'd love to hear some things I have thought about!

I've also been doing some research about *checks notes* Boston, MA. Because that's where most of the story happens :^) Though it happens in 2200's so I still have lots of room to change things around.

Definitely thinking about adding more dark/horror stuff in the world as a whole bc there's been, like, a climate crisis. AND people do interplanetary traveling. Stuff like that ought to lead to some fucked up stuff. Especially when there's megacorporations involved. Cynosure wise there's going to be something, especially in Periphery, happening to one of the main characters. 👀

plot/character updates

(that have happened lately, at least)

One of the pov characters kind of got a name update! Tobias's first name has been changed to Ripley, and it's what most characters will probably referring to it as. That said, some characters (+ itself) will refer to it as Tobias bc that's its preferred name that's somethings its friends and wife call it

Another pov character (Samuel) got an interesting change of backstory, some tweaks in personality, and its plot-revelant actions have changed a little. Sammy's changes has thus made some already existing things I've posted on here non-canon.

Slowly finally putting together what I mah want to have in Klara's chapters and it's sooooo exciting.

Polished some things about the plots, especially the different parts of the acts <3

Got more thoughts about the project itself (or, well, what it should have). That also means I need to look more into pharma research or something. Very interesting...

Overall, lots to think about and lots to research about.

things to expect in next few weeks

(that is, if I won't drown in university assignments or something)

I've had some ideas for little stories that would be happening before the story, to show more information about the characters and the story itself (like what happened in the original project). Or maybe just some fun parts of characters' backstories. So I may post something if I manage to write it!

Some more character introductions + pov character post. Might make a "tag yourself" meme. Or a powerpoint wip intro

Something else, maybe? If you have an idea, let me know!

taglist (interact with this post if you want to be added or removed!)

@ecofear @fashionablyfyrdraaca @shadowfells @volkihar

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @the-inkwell-variable @artbyeloquent

[gullwrites]

🔍 cynosure update - dec 2024

"what the hell is cynosure" - check out the intros: cynosure & periphery (note to self, do remember to work on the newer ones, too)

Hello everyone 👋🏻 It's almost end of 2024, eh? And we're almost at the first quarter of the century. How fun! :'^) ANYWAY.

What's new, you ask! First of all - I changed blogs. Felt like I really needed a fresh start or something 😵‍💫 Second of all, uh, very excited for some games coming out in 2025 :)

What's up with the story? Well. I've had a few ideas, maybe even something like eureka-moments - though a bit early to tell haha - and things that I've been working on. Some are tied into worldbuilding parts, which I need to talk about btw. hehe. so expect that soon <3

Some schedule news: I plan to start properly planning out the whole thing during winter 2025 - definitely not preparing it to be my main source of procrastination when writing master's thesis haha - which means sitting down, probably drawing some "mind maps" (love them. they help planning a lot) and then putting all that information into a more readable version for myself. Is Notion still a thing? Is it good for planning stories? If you have any thoughts/tips about this, do hit me up in the replies or send an ask :3

[kahvilahuhut]

After another argument about patents and research between the big, crowd-favorite corporations turns into a fight that causes dozens of casulties, the Earth Board has nothing else to do than to force Mackowski Solutions and Glacier Tear to prove they can work together - or else.

Mackie & Glacier are the two collaboration corporations working on a project that could save lives in emergencies. Read more in Cynosure.

image credits, taglist etc.:

image credits:

Mackie intro: 1 2 3 4

Glacier intro: 1 2

Cynosure taglist (dm/reply/refer to this post to be included!)

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @artbyeloquent @dekarios

@fashionablyfyrdraaca

[gullemoji]

when u come back from a work trip two days earlier and decide to surprise ur wife but instead find it looking exhausted and having a smoke. but hey at least you brought coffee and pastries.

[kahvilahuhut]

who talks outside while it's raining

full drawing here

another little cynosure scene idea i decided to 'write' to test it out hehe <3

summary: You ever want to be all alone for a moment and go outside during rain, but then some other guy appears and starts talking to you. That's what Toby's going through in this one. At least it got to talk about cats a little.

warnings: negative thoughts, smoking, relapsing back into old habits

Tobias looked down at the street, leaning on the ledge of the balcony.

A woman was carrying a child while crossing the street, holding the child's head as if that would have helped her hide it from the rain. An old man had walked out of the neighboring building, stood for a moment in the doorway, and went back inside, clearly scared off by the wind blowing all the drops in his face.

It closed its eyes for a moment, feeling the drops on its cheeks, with the wind making them feel even colder.

Great weather to mask one's tears.

Was it the stress or the fact that it had to cancel its evening plans, or both?

Another day of storm warnings, this time with officials deeming it unsafe to go out after five. Right when its work day is supposed to end.

Tobias hated having to stay at office for the night. At least they didn't need to do anything work related after work day's over.

It's not like it was completely sure about coming to the dinner. It felt awful, with all the stress slowly bottling up and with Klara being away for few days. Normally going out and hanging out with someone could make it feel better, but when it's Claudia? There's no way you could tell how that dinner would go. Especially now that it's cancelled because of the storm.

So much for starting to talk to your parent again.

It wiped its cheek with its hand and opened its phone to see if the test results have appeared.

Another failure. Nothing in this week seemed to work.

And then there's Samuel and his deadlines. And the steering group begging for a proper update. And supplies running low with arguments over the next order. And the constant feeling of something being off-

"Hey Toby," Abner's voice startled it, "Enjoying the view?"

It nodded slowly, still facing the street. Company was the last thing it expected, or wanted.

Who the hell goes outside during the rain?

Tobias held its breath in hopes of unclogging its nose as it could already see that he's going to be very talkative.

At least he finally stopped calling it boss. And didn't join some others into calling it 'captain' as a substitute to 'boss'.

"Hm, I understand, the buildings look pretty during rain," he said, and Toby heard his footsteps as he was moving behind him towards the other side of the ledge. "Though, I am a bit surprised to see someone else here. The only people I'd imagine coming here at this weather are smokers. Office policy and all," it heard him flick his lighter on, "...as if that stops some people."

"Mmhmm."

Abner went quiet for a moment, probably to take a drag of his cigarette. "So why did you come here?"

"I, um, I like rain," Tobias managed to reply. It wasn't a lie, it does enjoy rain. No matter whether it's inside or outside, it always comforts it, in a way. Not that this was the actual reason, though. "These little rains before the storms arrive? It's as if they're readying us for the awful weather that's to come. As if they're trying to soften the fall, you know?"

"Hm, you are a strange person. No offense."

"Heh, none taken, Abner."

"Though, I must admit that I kinda agree. Rain is fun. I love feeling raindrops on my head.," he paused again, for a moment, clearly thinking of what to say.

Tobias closed its eyes again, this time not even thinking about the rain, but instead smelling the cigarette smoke. Does it miss it? It couldn't answer. The smell of smoke wasn't what it really enjoyed, but didn't mind, either.

"So," he began, "Your evening plans got ruined by storm warning, too?"

Tobias snorted out a laugh and wiped its face from all the raindrops and whatever was left of its tears. "Something like that, I guess," it replied and turned to face Abner.

"Mm, mine too. We were supposed to go to a cafe to meet some of our friends with my partner," he said, staring at the street, the smoke from his cigarette disappearing into the wind. "Well, at least they get to stay with the cats, now. And I finally get to try out this...um, experience of sleeping in the office."

"Do they still scare undergrads with that?"

"Hah, you bet. 'Corporate labs make their workers sleep at work' and shit like that. It's not that I think this is, well, wrong. Being injured during a storm isn't on my bucket list. But, well, it does make you wonder, why have these sleeping facilities in the first place."

"Some places force their workers to overwork very often... Not this time, obviously, but it's not like they built this place for this project only."

"You have an experience with a situation like that?"

"Ah, well. I've mostly worked in public sector. Awful salary and little benefits but at least they're scared of unions and actually watch after their employees' wellbeing."

"What about the original version of this project?"

Tobias opened its mouth, only to realize it doesn't know what to say. "I, um, I'm not sure, actually. I was kind of, um, living on my own schedule," it said, remembering how it would look through data at night, with Jack waking up and asking it to stop and sleep.

And connected the memory right away with the what happened four days ago. The dark kitchen and the cold feel of the counter, with its forgotten meds near the sink. Klara's soft murmurs about how it should get back to bed. Her talent of never sounding worried when she is has always fascinated it. How often has she been doing it lately.

And all during weekend, no less.

The similarity made it feel sick.

"Everything alright there, Toby?" Abner's voice brought it back to the present.

Tobias nodded and closed its eyes for a moment, realizing how it was staring at his cigarette this whole time, which was now laying in the ashtray.

"Okay, good, um. So," he smirked, "what plans did you have to cancel? Romantic dinner with your wife? Or something even more-"

"No, no, Klara's on a work trip on the West Coast."

"Ooooh, fuck, that sounds bad. Hopefully you're not that sad about it, though?"

"No." It was actually very miserable about it.

She never had to somewhere as often as right now. The empty feeling it always felt during her trips, and the fear that something could happen, both mixing in its head with stress and sadness. Definitely not something that made it feel good.

Realizing that Abner was probably waiting for the real reason, it continued, "I was going to have a dinner with my mother. We are, um, trying to reconnect, get to know each other, I guess?"

"I sense a story here."

"Well. I cut all contact when I was 17. Two years ago we accidentally met at the grocery store. We had a small conversation, exchanged contact info and all. Now we're, well, trying to see if we should get back to no contact at all or if we should try to act like a parent and child. Jury's still out there."

"Wow. Knowing you, she probably did something very bad..."

"She tried to force me into med school. Which I didn't want to do."

Abner laughed. "Oh, god, you can't be serious. Let me guess, she's a doctor, too?"

"A surgeon."

"That explains a lot."

"Uh-huh," Tobias chuckled, "Just sent her a message if she could babysit our cats. Melody's fine with other people but Song is a bit shy around strangers, so she needs someone she knows."

"Oooh, cats?" Abner's face lightened up, "Do you have any photos?"

"You bet I do," it said and tapped its wrist, only to remember that it was, in fact, wearing a unitard top with glove-like sleeves, and thus not able to use the hologram. "Ugh, hang on. The problems of wanting to dress something comfy for an evening at office," it muttered and reached for its phone.

"My partner does that all the time. It was wearing these big warm mittens one time, back when we were up north seeing their parents. I wondered out loud when the bus was going to come, and it happily went 'Oh, let me check!' and started to tap its wrist, only to realize that it's not going to work."

Tobias laughed. "I used to do it all the time when I was your age. I was sooooo obsessed w these tops back then. One time I was supposed to get this one call from this very important sponsor, which was supposed to call me late due to time zone differences. So I was wearing one of these, laying in my bed with some guy, when the chip started buzzing to let me know about the call. I started tapping my wrist, panicking why the hell nothing was happening, when this guy leans on me and shakes my phone in front of my face, saying 'Maybe try this one?' or something like that," it told while scrolling through its phone gallery, trying to pick a good photo, "Having the hologram view helps a lot sometimes but you may get too used to it."

"That must have been embarassing."

"Hah, well, not really, it's not like this sponsor could see how I looked at that moment, hehe" it smirked and showed him a picture on its phone. A tabby cat laying on a beanbag, playing with a toy fish, and a russian blue cat calmly sitting next to it. "This is Melody and Song."

Abner leaned to look at the picture, smiling widely. "Oooh, they're absolutely cute! Wait, hang on," he took out his phone and showed a picture of a small abyssimian. "This is Mars, we got him two months ago. Woke me up at 3AM today by jumping on my chest."

Tobias chuckled. "Oh, they do love to do that sometimes."

"I know, right?" He swiped the screen, to show a photo of a tabby norwegian forest cat and a ragdoll. "And this is Saturn and Jupiter."

"Oooh, they're so adorable... By the way, the planet names?"

"Jupiter and Saturn were kind of accidental. We were looking for fun names and these came up. Really fit them, considering how big they are. As for Mars, well, we just decided to go with the theme. And fits his fur color."

"Ha, I see!"

"And yours?"

"Ah, well. Melody came first, we found her in a bush as a stray kitten on our way back home from playing badminton. I had some experience from cat shelter so we took her home, took her to the vet and all. She was soooo cute. We picked the name because she liked to take naps near Klara's soundtrack vinyls. As for Song, well, kind of fits Melody, yeah?"

"That's so cute!" Abner said, and then looked at his phone screen. "Oh, wait, hang on, my partner sent a message and I gotta answer. Um," he looked around, realizing they were standing under the rain this whole time, "probably should do that inside."

"Hah, yeah, um. A little rainy here," Tobias chuckled. Good thing it was going to take a shower after this, anyway.

"Yeah, right!" He smirked. "By the way, need a smoke?

"Huh?"

"You were, um, staring at my cigarette in a weird way."

"Oh, um, that, I..." Tobias didn't know what to say. It hadn't smoked for almost twenty years.

But the thought intrigued it. The feeling smoking had brought it back then. The calm, throwing out the empty feelings that plagued its brain.

It really shouldn't. Is there not enough bad habits already, or feeling bad?

It could just take it to feel the scent of an unlit cigarette. Just to keep it like that.

Is it worth the risk?

"Uh, boss?"

"I'm- sorry, got lost in my head for a moment. Um..." it stared at Abner's hand holding a pack of cigarettes. Surely it won't be bad. It won't let it get bad. "Sure, thank you."

Abner gave it the whole pack. "You look like you need it. Oh, and," he gestured around, "don't stay outside for too long? We need you."

[kahvilahuhut]

diner breakfast

summary: Toby & Klara are going to work together and decide to stop by a diner for a breakfast.

a cynosure scene idea i wanted to write out <3 enjoy!

"This is nice."

"Good. I was hoping you wouldn't hate it because you had to wake up earlier."

Tobias smiled, moving its hand slowly from the coffee cup to touch Klara's. "Please, I'd wake up earlier for you any time you want."

"Uh-huh."

"And wouldn't hate it. Forgot to add that."

Klara snorted out a laugh, making the old lady at the table next to theirs glance at them both chuckling together for a moment, a slightly judging look on her face, before turning back to her companion.

"Okay, okay," Klara said, pausing to take a breath, "How about that one time I woke you up at 6 so you could wait for the mailman while I went for a morning run."

"That doesn't count. You woke me up for a mailman."

They both stared at each other for a moment, before laughing again, making the old lady clear her throat as if trying to make them stop in a somewhat polite way.

"Okay, fine. You're right about that one," Klara murmured and picked up her cup to take a sip. "Hm, wait a moment, I'm going to get some honey."

"Of course, honey," Tobias chuckled and watched her glance at it with a wide smirk as she got up from the chair and began walking towards the counter.

It leaned back on its bench and looked around. The diner was half full, some of the customers sitting alone or getting a take away coffee, some sitting in pairs or groups and chatting with each other.

Glancing at the table next to them, it noticed the old lady hold a newspaper in her hand, while waving the other as she explained something. Her companion, a young looking person, nails painted in dark brown with little white dots, was leaning on their hand and nodding along as the old lady went on. Tobias considered interrupting them to ask about the nail paint they used, but decided to sit still and not to annoy them even more.

The background music that was playing from the little speakers was loud enough despite the noise coming from all the people in the diner. It was the first thing it paid attention to when entering, and wondered if it was planned to be like that so the customers could decide if they want to listen to this kind of music or if they want to look for another diner.

The playlist was playing a third sad country-style song in a row, somehow making it think of the plan of the day, the place where they were both going.

Tobias shook its head to drive those thoughts away and reached for its fried egg sandwich.

Klara returned with two honey packets and one box, stopping for a moment to ruffle its hair a little, leaving two gray strands hanging above its forehead, moved her coffee cup and pancakes next to its plate and sat next to it.

Tobias leaned on her shoulder and watched her empty a honey packet into her coffee cup. "I also ordered two small pieces of cheesecake," she smiled, "As a take away, though, could use them as a meeting snack."

"Sounds lovely."

"Mm, not really into talking about it?"

"I'm- well. I don't know. Kinda?" it mumbled before taking another bite of the sandwich. "Feels weird. Though, I gotta admit, going for a breakfast together definitely made me feel better."

"Think we should do that more often?"

"Haha, definitely. I mean, we do have breakfasts together all the time, but it's been a while since we actually managed to go somewhere on a work day. It's nice."

Klara wrapped her hand around its shoulder. "Glad to hear that, dear."

It smirked and took a sip of its coffee. "Oh, wait. Um, does this mean you'll leave work a bit later? Because you're starting later-"

"Hah, no, technically I'm already working. If you look at the time stamps."

"Breakfast date on company time, incredible."

"Marked this part in my calendar as a 'meeting with an intercorporate person', too. Fitting, concidering you're working for Glacier."

"Ohhhh, so you're, what, working on intercorporate relations here, are you?"

"I mean, I am a specialist in that department."

"Think you can add more meetings like this?"

"I'll send you a calendar invite."

They both laughed.

"Honestly, though," Klara murmured, "it is fun to work together because now we can see each other more during work days."

"Mh, well, I'm not saying that's the only reason I agreed, but..."

"Hmm, good to know, good to know," she smirked and kissed its cheek, making its smile even wider.

They sat quietly together for a moment, finishing their breakfasts. Tobias felt Klara's hand gently rub its shoulders, making it realize how stiff they were, and how it was clenching it's jaw.

"Can I admit something?"

Klara looked at it. "Of course, sunshine."

"I'm...well... A bit scared? Afraid?" It paused and finished its coffee. "I don't know if it's because of what happened before, or if I'm just anxious about the unknown, but, well..."

"Darling... I'm sure everything will be fine. New team, new admins, the Board people watching veeeery closely," she murmured, "And you know I'll always be there for you if something happens."

"Mmhmm..." Tobias smiled, "You have no idea how much that helps."

"Good..." she picked up a honey packet and put it in her pocket, "Now, how about we get back in the car and go to the office? If we get there early we could find a spot to sit next to each other at."

"Ooh, sounds incredible..."

Klara smirked. "Glad you're so excited."

[kahvilahuhut]

work at night

see the whole drawing here

summary: Someone might have ended up too deep in thought while doing work stuff *checks notes* at night 🙄 In fact, so deep that its wife ended up waking up and wondering where it is.

a little scene idea i've had for cynosure for a while hehe <3 will obviously change a bit once i actually get to it, but, well, here's version one i guess? definitely not written at night noooo why are you looking at me like that

"What's up?"

Tobias turned around at the sudden voice and noticed Klara leaning on the doorway. "I- uh-", it looked around, as if collecting its thoughts to formulate a proper answer.

"Is that my wool shirt?"

"Um. Yes. It's the first thing I found on the floor. It was dark and I didn't feel like switching the lights on to look for something else. Very comfy, especially now that the heating is glitching...again,"it replied, smiling, "Though the best part is that it smells like you."

"Well, it..." Klara's voice was closer this time, her hands gently touching it's shoulders, "...looks good on you..."

"Oh, stop it," it chuckled and leaned its head to kiss her fingers.

"Someone doesn't like compliments..."

"Mmh, or do I... As for the first question, well... I woke up. Realized I forgot my meds. Went here to take them," it started listing its steps, folding a finger on its hand on each step, "And then I- um. I got some kind of an idea, I think? Erin asked me to look at a specific part of the code, which she doesn't remember writing. No one does. So I wanted to see and take a look myself. Then I decided to just go look at the whole thing and. Um." It shrugged with a smile on its face. "I guess... Here I am?"

"Honey, that's- Do you know what time is it?"

Tobias froze for a moment, then glanced at the clock screen on the microwave.

3:37 am.

"Oh, fuck," it muttered.

"Thought so," Klara chuckled and gently wrapped her arms around it while softly kissing the top of it's head. "Aren't you tired, honey?"

"Maybe a little? I swear I didn't notice, I- Fuck, I forgot to switch the clock feature back on," it muttered and brought up the settings panel, "Switched it off at work because it felt like time was going soooo slow during the meeting, it felt a bit annoying. I know that sounds a bit childish, but, well..."

"No, I think that's a fun decision. As long as it makes you feel better..." she murmured in its ear and kissed its neck softly. "Meetings are like that sometimes... Nights are the opposite. You feel like it's taking very little time but in reality time flies so fast..."

It nodded, leaning its head somewhat lazily, smiling as Klara's lips moved down to its shoulder. "But, um, thing is, I found something, and didn't want to leave it for tomorrow. What if I forget about it or miss some specific thought I had tonight if I won't write it down, things like that," Tobias said quietly, gesturing at the hologram, "Really couldn't get up or anything."

"Please tell me you haven't been sitting on a kitchen counter looking through some work data for hours. During night."

"I won't tell. But, well..."

"God, Tobias, I can't even explain with words what I'm thinking right now."

"Mm... Well, um, mind if I finish going through this document? It's the last one, I promise."

"You can't be serious..." she sighed and leaned her head on its shoulder, "Fine. But I'm staying here."

"Ooh, won't hear me objecting or anything."

It scrolled through the file to find the part it was reading before being interrupted, and quickly typed a small note near the paragraph before it continued reading.

"Why do you use a grey highlighter?" Klara murmured.

"Um. I don't know, really. I usually pick whichever color looks nice," it opened the highlighter settings, "Really love using this warm yellow tone, you know, like dandelions. Or this light orange one. Or this one, reminds me of sand or something. Or the sky blue...And this fun matcha green."

"You're adorable..."

"Trying my best..." it said while adding another note, and smiled as she kissed its cheek.

"You know, looking at you doing all this makes me think if I should get the hologram thing too... It's pretty fun, watching you wave your hands around and typing on some not existing keyboard."

"Mmh... do you want the actual device or do you want to watch my hands?"

"Take a guess."

"It gets warm sometimes. A bit weird feeling, you know? Maybe I should've bought the newer model. But it's kinda nice."

"Honey, I meant-"

It stopped reading mid-paragraph and reached with its left hand to gently stroke Klara's cheek. "I know what you meant, dear, I'm just joking," it turned its head a little for a moment and smiled at her, before turning back to the hologram. After a moment of reading a few more paragraphs, it sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Klara, I know it's weird for me to care so much about some work stuff. Man, even saying it out loud feels odd, you know? But I just want to finish this thing, because someone else would have ended up doing this tomorrow. Along with other tasks as well. And, um... I don't know. I thought I should do it myself?"

"Oh, sunshine," she murmured against its shoulder, "You know you should put yourself first, sometimes, right?"

"Mmhmm... but why shouldn't I if I can and want to do it?"

Klara moved a little to kiss its cheek, "You're a good person. Maybe a bit too good. Definitely better than what this project deserves."

Tobias half smirked and half bit its lower lip, thinking about the last sentence, before continuing to read the last paragraph. It felt Klara's hands slowly move off its body, giving its shoulder a pat before she moved next to the sink. Half concentrated on the text, other half listening to the sound of water filling an empty glass, it highlighted a few words and tapped its wrist to close the interface.

It jumped down off the kitchen counter, only to go sit on its other side, facing Klara.

"Honey? You mentioned going to take meds, didn't you?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Did you take them?"

"Uhhh... um," it sat quietl, trying to remember what it was doing before. After a moment, it answered, "I don't remember," with the last word turning into a yawn.

Klara shook her head and picked up something near the sink. Turning around to face it, she gently handed it two pills and kissed its forehead. "You know, you should get one of those little pill boxes to put them near the bed."

Tobias chuckled and swallowed both pills, quietly refusing the glass of water. "Please, they won't all fit in there."

"I'll get you three of them tomorrow."

"Klara, please, don't be ridiculous," it murmured and leaned towards her, "The packages are somewhat visible here in the kitchen. Most of them. And besides, we don't always sleep on the bed anyway."

She cupped its face and smiled. "Fine, if you say so," she said, though Tobias could see that she was still going to go buy them. As it leaned into her right hand, while smiling as she gently stroked its cheek with her left thumb, Klara continued, "You sure you're okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, um, stress-wise, for example? It's been a while since you've had sleep problems this bad."

It looked at her, getting lost in own thoughts again for a moment, before realizing that it had lost control of its face, that was now showing a small frown. "I'll be fine, don't worry, honey," it smiled and gently kissed her hand, "You know I'll tell you if I'm not doing well."

"You better," she said, then added, "Please."

"I will."

"Mmh," Klara sighed and stroked its hair. "Now, how about we finally go back to sleep?"

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask."

[kahvilahuhut]

a surprise visit

also find the drawing here :)

A little Cynosure scene I wanted to write out asap because it's been rotating a lot in my head lately :]

Summary: Klara looked at the weather forecast and decided to leave from her work trip two days earlier than she was supposed to, in case the flights will be cancelled because of another storm. Getting home early, she decides to surprise her spouse while it's at work. And instead she finds it has picked up its bad habit again.

Warnings: smoking, implied mental health problems

Klara carefully opened the door and saw Tobias stand next to the ledge. At first, she was going to say hi straight away, or slowly sneak up and hug it from behind.

But then she stopped and leaned at the doorway. Just looking at it for a moment would be fun.

It was looking at the street, slowly stretching its hands. A typical habit it would do when stressed. Klara watched it rotate its wrists, stretch its fingers, slowly move its shoulders...

It took a deep breath, stood still for a moment, and took out a pack of cigarettes.

Klara raised an eyebrow. It's not something she expected to see.

It lit its cigarette quickly, as if its a typical thing for it to do, and put it in its mouth. Klara shifted a little, getting ready to come closer, when Tobias leaned on the ledge and glanced at the doorway, suddenly noticing Klara.

"Uh, hi. Lydia said you'd be here?" Klara said, slightly waving, and raised the brown bag she was holding, "I brought, um, coffee and chocolate croissants..."

It stared at her, mouth half open, trying to still hold the cigarette, brown eyes wide open, with dark eyebags under them. A somewhat frightened look at its face. No, not frightened, something else? Surprised, mixed with exhausted and... ashamed?

Klara placed the bag on the floor and walked closer, gently wrapping her left hand around its shoulders and took its cigarette out with her right. "Oh, honey..." she murmured, kissing its forehead as it blew out the smoke. "How did this happen?"

"I'm- I-," it began, leaning its head on her shoulder, "Had an, um, bad day three weeks ago... Went outside to get some fresh air, while it was raining. Abner came there to have a smoke and I, um," it let out a sob, "I don't know, I... I just stared at it and he asked if I want some, and I just...couldn't say no, I guess? I-" it paused to wipe its cheek and sniff, "I needed something to feel better so bad, to have something else to think instead of... all this," Tobias gestured with its hand towards the building.

Klara brushed its hair with her fingers, "It's fine, honey, it's fine," she said, glancing at the cigarette in her other hand, "I don't remember you smoking two weeks ago when I returned from the first work trip..."

"It wasn't, um, it wasn't that bad back then, I could-" it covered its face with its left hand, "I could, like, take a break, or only smoked like twice or thrice... But then I, um. God, this is so embarassing..." It muttered and buried its face in Klara's neck, sobbing.

She said softly, "No, it's not, that's just how life is sometimes... Everything can happen to all of us," she smiled at it as it started to rise its head again.

"That's- ugh. It's just that it's been, what, 20 years since I stopped," Tobias managed to say, "And now where am I? Back at this shit again. I just..."

"Hey, hey, it's okay," she said and glanced at the cigarette again, flickrd the ash into ashtray and took a drag. "See? We will get through this."

"Käresta, come on..." it murmured between its sobs, as Klara put put the cigarette back into its mouth for a moment, before putting it out in the ashtray. "I, um, fuck-" it sniffed, "when you left to another work trip and I woke up in this, um, empty, cold bed all alone, I just suddenly, um, I felt so awful... As if all the stress and bad feelings just filled my brain and, well, I-"

"Decided that smoking more would help?"

It nodded slowly. "I know, sounds ridiculous, right?"

"No," Klara murmured and gently wiped its tears from its cheek.

"Mmh," Tobias buried its face in her neck again, wrapping its both arms around her in a hug. "I'm just- I'm so fucking tired. I feel so exhausted, I'm so tired of this fucking project, I-" it mumbled, and Klara could swear she heard its voice crack despite it being muffled, "I want out so bad. But the fucking contract doesn't let me. I am so done with all this, I just... I want to leave. Now. I can't do this anymore..."

Klara squeezed it closer in a hug and whispered, "I could see if Sarah could do something about it, if you want?" Not like Sarah would listen to her, after she just up and left from the work trip earlier today instead of sitting through another meeting where she had nothing to do. It's not like she'd let it affect work related stuff, right?

"You don't have to, I can, um, try and ask by myself, um..."

"No, I'll do it. And you take a sick leave for the rest of the week while I try to figure everything out."

"Klara..."

"Shh, you need a break. We can start with the iced coffee and croissants I bought."

"Mmhmm..." it sighed and gently kissed her neck. "By the way, um," it began, "What are you doing here? I mean, um, you said you'll return in two days on our morning call, and I-"

"I checked a weather forecast and noticed the possibility of a storm getting even higher for this week, and realized that they may cancel the flights, just in case," she explained, gently running her fingers through its hair, "And so I decided to, well, go 'fuck it' and booked a flight that would've been in two hours after our call. I just didn't care at that point. I wanted to get here, surprise you with a snack break..." she felt it smile against her neck, "Not like this, though, but hey, it's something."

"I'm so glad you're here, honey."

"I'm glad to be here, too," Klara smiled, "Now go sign out of work and let's go home. I think we should also stop by the cafe again and get their bagels."

[gullwrites]

happy sts! what's a scene you're most excited for people to read in cynosure? how was your experience writing it / coming up with it?

hiiiii happy sts!!! <3 tysn for such a fun question hehe! and sorry for taking so long i've been, uh, busy playing horizon forbidden west the whole weekend to feel better JCNNCNGNG

i think it always changed depending on what's rotating in my brain at that moment :) right now it's something that i'm not sure whether i want to put it in act 3 or to periphery act 1 end, as i've been tweaking the "story line" a little after getting a few ideas (what listening to a song can do to your brain, heh). it + some others i've been thinking of have some big revelations so i can't really talk abt them rn TEEHEE

additionally, tho, i am v excited to see people reading some of the scenes with two main characters.... beloved butches. for no reason other than i love them sm.