#I'm up to my eyeballs in debt

[comfortableinthesilence]

Today I turned 34 and all I've done is lay in bed, napped and binge watched Foundation on Apple TV ha! Happy Birthday to me I guess!

[notfitforconsumption]

Therapist: I want you to stop throughout the day and say "I am a worthwhile person."

Me: I ....

Therapist: am a worthwhile person.

Me: exist.

Therapist: try again.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

feeling veryyyy normal thinking about being offered as part of bounty to the ghoul because the bounty poster doesn’t end up having the caps they promised him. and they need to pay him somehow. they’ll offer him their lil captive vaultie as payment for the rest. 👉🏻👈🏻 will he accept?🫣

A Fair Trade

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

Word Count: 3,980

Warnings: smut (18+), p in v sex, oral (m receiving), creampie, sex as payment for debt, human trafficking typical of the Fallout universe.

Summary: The Ghoul always gets what's owed to him.

Notes: Oh, wow! My first submission-type ask! I'm genuinely super flattered and totally open to doing more. I initially ballparked that this would be around 2,500 words and it ended up almost 4,000 because I have no self control when it comes to this man. I will try to keep other submissions a little shorter, generally, to hopefully get them out quicker.

To the anon: This may have turned out...sweeter than you may have envisioned? Maybe that's not the word. Less rough? If so, my apologies! I hope you still enjoy.

Things had been...unfortunate for you since you had decided to leave your vault.

Looking for a taste of something new, chasing the feeling that the world had other things for you to experience, you had managed to make it to the nearest settlement of any import with only a few scrapes and bruises. But, regrettably, you lacked a true understanding of how cruel and selfish people on the surface could be, and you quickly ended up the captive of some random outpost runner.

Well, you'd been traded to the outpost runner. You still weren't quite sure how that had come about, even after weeks and weeks had passed, but, frankly, the scrawny, dirty man was a lot less scary than the guy who had initially captured you. He wasn't not scary by any means (no one up here really was, as far as you could tell); he still confiscated your things and locked you into the small room in the back that you were fairly confident was intended to be a closet every night, but he hadn't really done anything to hurt you so far. You were given a pillow, at least.

But you were growing increasingly uneasy with not knowing what his plans for you were. Worst case scenario, you guessed, he could kill and eat you like you'd heard some surface people did, but that didn't seem to be the case. Nevertheless, the way he eyeballed you, "accidentally" brushed against you with increasing frequency, made you uneasy. Maybe he'd bought you to be his wife, or whatever the Wasteland equivalent would be. You imagined that in the next few weeks he'd offer you more favorable sleeping accommodations...so long as you shared them with him.

Maybe you could accept, kill him in his sleep and flee. You really didn't treasure the idea of ending someone's life, but...you needed to get out of here, and soon.

The sound of the creaky, rusted front door hinges flexing drew your attention, distracting you from your bloody ruminations and the pile of scrap you'd been sorting through. The front office hadn't been loud, but the small murmur of voices instantly faded, a clatter of movement towards the door, followed by some very familiar sounding footfalls. He was back.

The tall, noseless, rad-ravaged man made his way in multiple times a month, sometimes even multiple times a week when the bounties were easy and the work was plentiful. You'd seen each other somewhat often the past few weeks, as your keeper had begun to allow you to clean and assist in the front of the office more and more. It was both better and worse; the days passed with less tedium and you got to see some of the interesting characters the desert produced. However, many of those characters sized you up with predatory eyes, as if they were estimating how many caps they could sell your flesh for in their heads. The ghoul had yet to give you that feeling, interestingly enough.

You'd heard whispers all over town about him, about all the things he'd apparently done, how he was supposedly hundreds of years old. You didn't believe that for a single second. After all, despite his fascinatingly gruesome appearance, he was just a man, wasn't he? A man with very advanced radiation sickness (and a rather unfriendly general disposition), but a man nonetheless.

Sometimes, you felt as if he was certainly looking at you the way a man would. You were unsure, frankly; social etiquette was so vastly different on the surface than it was at home. It sure seemed like he let his eyes linger on you, on your body. Perhaps he was simply curious about you, as you were about him; most people seemed afraid to even look his way, or too disgusted by his condition to even consider it.

"You wanna run that by me again?"

Your ears pricked up instantly at the tone in the ghoul's voice, your heckles raising as you sensed trouble. Tiptoeing towards the door to the front room, you stood as close as you dared, shoulder touching the rotting door frame as you listened in.

"I told you, we were robbed a few nights ago. I don't have the full payment for you right now. This is everything I've got."

You knew your keeper was lying, about the robbery, at least; the place was so small that if anyone had been in to steal anything, you'd have certainly known about it. Whether or not he really had the caps, you didn't know, but you supposed he didn't, figuring that he wouldn't take the risk of pissing off the ghoul if he did. You had overheard him discussing gambling on a few occasions.

"Well, you better find something to make me whole, quick." came the ghoul's acidic reply.

On some level, you understood his frustration. The work was done, the bounty delivered. Un-delivering it wouldn't make up for all the time he'd put in. But, you also knew his reputation for being unforgiving, and you felt a chill run up your spine as you began to fear that he would kill your keeper and you if he didn't find some sort of satisfaction soon.

"I don't have anything worth anything. I told you, this is all I have." the scrawny man shot back, trying to sound confident, tough.

However, based on the way his voice trembled and faltered, the uneasy way he cleared his throat, you suspected the ghoul knew he was lying, too, confirmed only a moment later by what you were certain was the sound of a gun thwish-ing out of its holster and cocking. Your heart flew up into your throat, hammering even harder when, a second later, the lighter sounds of the scrawny man's footsteps rapidly approached the door of the back office. Scrambling back towards the desk, you'd only closed about half the distance when the door flew open, the man grabbing at you almost blindly, his long, dirty nails digging into your exposed wrist as he dragged you, protesting, out behind the counter.

"Hey!" you hissed, trying your best to snatch your arm back out of his grip and failing, infuriatingly. You were momentarily blinded with outrage that he would offer your body to someone to cover his own debts, though you supposed that was just how people did things in this awful place. Your eyes, feeling like they could pop out of your head they were so wide, flew to the man on the other side of the counter, who was assessing you with a look you couldn't read.

"What about her?" the scrawny man asked, and that was the final straw. If things were going to get worse for you, you weren't just going to accept it with a smile. The fingers on your free hand curled into a fist, which you smashed into the side of his face, causing him to release your arm in shock. Almost instantly, he jerked towards you, but the Ghoul pointed the modified pistol in his hand further into his face, stopping him.

"Now, how're you gonna offer me merchandise and then try to damage it in front of me?" he said, speaking to the man, but not looking at him. He was still looking at you, an intrigued glint in his eyes. They were...pretty, actually. Warm and golden brown. Was he really thinking about taking the offer? You'd be lying if you said you weren't curious about what his body would be like underneath all the layers of clothing. However, the entire situation had your walls up high, your whole body trembling slightly.

The Ghoul stepped slowly around the counter towards you; the scrawny man shrunk away, the gun still pointed in his direction, while you held your ground, doing your best to keep your head held high as he stepped right into your bubble, your chests almost touching as he seemed to really size you up. After a moment of incredibly tense silence, his eyes moved to the door, then back to yours. Slowly, he lowered the gun.

"Alright. C'mon, Vaultie." he said simply, turning on one foot to make his way back to the other side of the counter. You hesitated, but soon moved to stand beside him, a surreal feeling washing over you.

"Hey! No fucking way, man! You can't just take her for keeps. She's worth way more caps than I owe you!"

The man was even more red-faced than usual, his tone downright indignant, but he didn't step out from behind the counter to follow.

"Ah, but, see, once we factor in the interest on my missed payment, hurt and suffering, on top of my 'you're a dumbshit' fee...I think it's a wash, personally." the Ghoul replied, leaning back over the counter into the man's dirt-speckled face. He clearly wasn't in a place of strength to negotiate, and his angry gaze moved to you again before he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"What the fuck ever." he grunted.

You felt your body relax noticeably as the bulk of the conflict seemed to pass. However, there was a small amount of unfinished business you wanted to address before you left this place. You crossed your arms, turning your narrowed eyes to your former keeper, feeling emboldened with the Ghoul standing at your back.

"Where's my bag you took from me?"

Soon, you were back in possession of your things, including your Pip Boy, which you fretted over as you and your new keeper set out the door and into the desert heat. As you walked, you flexed the sore fingers on your hand absentmindedly. Soon, you were pouring sweat, pausing briefly to peel the top half of your vault suit down to your waist, tying the sleeves around you hips. The Ghoul appraised you silently as you did, taking a hit off of an inhaler from his pocket before continuing on.

As grateful as you were to be away from the trading outpost, away from the scrawny man and his uneasy ways, you couldn't help but worry in the back of your mind, fret at the possibility that you were going somewhere worse. It was being too trusting that got you into your situation to begin with. You worried at your lip with your teeth as he began to direct you down the road, his hand flat and firm between your shoulders. You weren't sure if the gesture was intended to be one of comfort, or if he was simply ready to snatch you up by the back of your vault suit if you decided to try to run.

The two of you walked in complete silence in the direction of the setting sun for what felt like a hundred miles. In truth, your Pip Boy revealed that you'd only gone a single mile and some change when the sun fully dipped behind the horizon, granting some blessed relief from the sweltering heat. You kept on a while longer, until the stars began to appear; eventually, the man veered from the decrepit highway, steering you to a little alcove in the rocky hillside, barely big enough to be a coyote's den.

"Alright, we'll bed down here for the night. Gettin' too dark to keep walkin'." he said, dropping his bag on the ground in a little cloud of dust as he turned to survey the site suspiciously.

You stood waiting for him to direct you, your fingers wrapped tight around the straps of your backpack, watching as he checked around wordlessly. After a few minutes, you chose one of the flatter rocks around and sat against it, watching as he built a small fire, inhaling some of the rations that had been hid away in your bag. Eventually, the ghoul threw himself down on the other side of the flames, facing the highway, and did the same, tucking into something canned from his bag. Things were quiet for a while, but eventually he spoke to you again, his voice pulling you away from fidgeting with with your Pip-Boy.

"Y'know, you're insanely lucky he didn't sell that thing. Can get quite a bit for a functional one these days. Moron didn't know what he had." he said, still chewing.

You blinked at him, your eyes flitting between the gadget on your arm and him, unsure how to respond. Briefly, you felt a growing sense of apprehension, but he must've sensed it, as he rolled his eyes and sighed softly as he swallowed.

"I'm just sayin' you're lucky you still have it, kid. Don't piss your pants. Trust me, if I wanted that thing, I'd have taken it from you already." he said, tossing the now-empty can over his shoulder.

You nodded silently, willing the tension out of your spine as you watched him dig around inside the oiled leather saddle bag once more. He produced a silver flask and a canteen, taking long pulls off of one, then the other. He then took another drag off of the inhaler he'd been puffing as you walked. Eventually, he stood, gave his back a stretch, and shrugged the long, tattered duster from his shoulders, splaying it out quickly on the ground behind him before turning back to face you.

"Alright, darlin'. Get your little ass over here."

You felt yourself freeze almost completely, your head turning sharply towards him. He hadn't said anything about the initial deal for so long that you weren't sure he was actually interested.

"What? I accepted you in lieu of payment. That means you are the payment, sweetheart. And I do intend to collect." he said, plainly amused, sinking down to the ground, his back sliding against the red rock behind him. "Besides, I've seen the way you look at me. Don't pretend you're not curious."

Your cheeks instantly felt agonizingly hot; had you been that obvious in your interest in him? Every day, something new in this place made you feel so silly, so naive. But, at the same time...he wasn't wrong. He might be rough-looking overall, but he'd been kind to you so far, and he did have quite a nice build. Besides, it had been weeks since you'd felt sufficiently alone enough to masturbate. A tad awkwardly, you went to lift yourself to walk to him when he cut you off.

"Mmm. How about you crawl?"

You felt your face twist into a mask of indignant confusion, and he chuckled. Hesitating, you made measured eye contact with him over the flames, quickly realizing, as those mischievous eyes glinted back at you, that he was serious. You swallowed hard, pulling yourself slowly onto your hands and knees before crawling the half-circle around the small fire as quickly and as dignified as possible, though there felt like there was very little dignity in it anyway. You stopped at his feet, kneeling with your hands on your thighs and looking up at him, trying your hardest to not seem as nervous as you felt.

"Take your shirt off." he ordered, head tilted as he watched you quickly pull the grimy undershirt over your head, tossing it near your bag. The night air was cool on your bare breasts, your sensitive nipples quickly peaking into hard little nubs that stung slightly. You wanted to press your warm palms to them, soothe the ache, but you didn't want him to think you were trying to cover yourself, so you simply sat, staring again, waiting for further instructions.

He grinned at you, leaning forward into your space, his gloved fingers stroking along your jaw, sliding a single one under your chin to lift your eyes fully to his. They were just as pretty glinting in the dying firelight as they had been in the outpost office.

"Y'know, you take direction pretty well, Vaultie. I like that in a lady." he said, tone low and conspiratory.

Your entire face burned now, even your eyes feeling hot, but that fire spread its way down into your core, blooming between your thighs, and you shifted slightly to press them together harder.

Reaching down, he made quick work of the belt holding up his pants and his fly, tugging free a cock that was about as red as the rest of him, the bulbous head glistening with precum already in the yellow-orange glow of the fire. Your tongue darted out to swipe at your lower lip, and you crawled up his legs to look closer. The Ghoul seemed surprised, leaning back ever so slightly from you as you came near, giving you room to move close and wrap your hand around him, drawing out a long hiss from between his yellowed teeth.

"Right on it, eh?" he chuckled almost breathlessly. "I like that in a lady, too."

You shot him a bit of a chastising look as you began to work your hand up and down over him, your free fingers coming to play along the weeping slit of him, earning another groan. He was a pretty average length for his height, you thought, but thick and already almost completely hard. It didn't seem like it would take much work to get him the rest of the way there. Your musings were interrupted by the feeling of his leather glove brushing against the swell of your breast before encaging the whole thing in his palm, massaging almost reverently. You whimpered when he plucked at your other nipple, sending shocks down your spine and straight to your already throbbing clit.

"Let's see what that pretty mouth is good for, hmm?"

Embarrassingly, you immediately dropped your head, pushing your body flat so you were sort of lying between his spread legs, bringing your lips down to hover a few inches above his leaking cock head. Tongue darting out to lap up a little taste of the shiny slickness there, you hummed; he tasted different than you were expecting, sort of the same, but with an almost metallic edge. You ran your tongue in a full circle around his tip, clenching around nothing when he groaned throatily, his right hand sliding through the dirt beside him.

"Fuck." he spat out when you unhinged your jaw, allowing the first few inches of him to fill your mouth, wrapping your lips around the head and sucking hard as your left hand continued to work the base of him. More and more precum leaked from the slit as you tongued at it, the taste and the knowledge that you were arousing to him making you rub your thighs together shamelessly.

"Play with your pussy." he commanded, clearly struggling to keep his tone even. Beneath you, you could feel his hips rocking almost imperceptibly. He didn't need to tell you twice; you could already tell you'd soaked through your underwear as you wrestled your hand down into your pants, pushing the wet gusset aside to rub tight circles around your swollen bud, moaning around his cock at the feeling.

The sound seemed to really turn him on, one of his hands suddenly moving to fist into your hair, the slight pain at the roots making you throb. His other hand came to cup your jaw again, holding you in place as he fully fucked his hips up into your waiting mouth, cussing under his breath as you continued to push yourself closer to orgasm. He kept you like that for a few long minutes, your neck cramping slightly by the time his thumb reached down, wiping away some drool that was dribbling down your chin. Bleary eyed, you looked up at him pleadingly. His answer was a wicked chuckle, his grin less of a smile and more a predator bearing his teeth.

"Blowin' a ghoul turn you on that much, cutie? What would the other vaulties think?" he tutted, shaking his head. "I think it's time you get on my cock."

Blushing hard at his little taunt, you could feel his burning gaze as you pulled yourself back up into a sitting position, tugging your boots off and setting them aside before shimmying the suit the rest of the way off, along with your underwear. A shiver broke down your spine as a small breeze hit you, your fire pretty much nothing but glowing embers now. However, when you pulled yourself back onto his lap, sighing as you ground your wet slit against his erection, you found that he was pleasantly warm feeling, bringing your hands up to his chest so you could lean over just enough to reach between you and position his cock at your entrance.

Too afraid of injuring yourself to attempt to take him all in one move, you instead opted to sink down onto the head, wriggling your hips before pulling them back up, then sinking down again, gently bouncing yourself down onto him. The man beneath you was tense, his hands kneading at your breasts as he huffed and hissed his way inside you. By the time you'd worked yourself most of the way down onto him, his hands moved to your hips, gripping them deliciously tight as you bobbed up and down on his length. For as cocky as he'd been before, he was pretty clearly struggling to keep his cool now.

One of your hands moved up from his chest, leaving you unsteadily balancing on one hand as the other pinched your nipple the same way he had before, making you cry out like a wounded animal. He must've liked that, as well, as his hands immediately yanked you the rest of the way down onto him, your ass resting flush against his hips. You repeated the sound again, higher, more strangled as he sat so deep inside you, the fat tip of him strumming away at something amazing right behind your belly button. It was too dark to make out much of anything, but you could feel the way his body twitched and bucked beneath you, strung tight as a bow.

The Ghoul's hands were digging deep into the fat of your hips, so hard you knew you'd bruise, restricting your movement, forcing you to swivel and grind your hips against him, the angle putting delicious friction on your poor aching clit and pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your body began to clench around him rhythmically, and his hand quickly appeared on your clit in the dark, rubbing surprisingly deft stripes up and down the puffy flesh until you were suddenly gasping for air, trembling hard against his chest as he fucked up into your heat roughly, sloppily, the hand that wasn't on your clit slapping you hard on the ass. Suddenly, he let out a long, low groan, and you could feel the hot throbbing of him pumping his cum inside you, his hips stuttering as you let yourself slump halfway against him. There was a sudden metallic taste in your mouth. For several long moments, there were no sounds but your co-mingled harsh breaths and sound of the wind swirling the sand across the foothills.

After you'd finally caught your breath, you made a move to extract yourself from him. He promptly stopped you, flipping you onto your back, the smell of the duster's rich leather curling in around you as he kept grinding his hips into your overstimulated cunt. It drew an embarrassing squeal from you, hands flying to his chest once more before being rather playfully batted away.

"Oh, no, sweetheart. Nice as that was, your buddy owed me quite a bit of money. I think you'll be paying me back in installments." he growled in your ear, one hand moving around to give your ass a firm squeeze as you gave another clench around him. Your mind, foggy with sex, wandered to the Radaway still stashed in your bag.

It was going to be a long night.

[jccatstudios]

I absolutely love your adapting of Six of Crows. What scene would you most be looking forward to illustrating?

Oooooooh that is quite the question. So many scenes to choose from. Before I make my big long list, just as a disclaimer, I'm only planning to finish Chapter 3 right now. Everything that comes after (especially scenes way later in the book) is up in the air. No promises with Chapter 4 either. Also, not including CK on this list because then I'd be writing all night. That being said... here are some scenes that instantly come to mind:

Matthias introduction! I enjoy his character more and more each time I read, and that fight with the wolves he has is such a great was to meet him and know what he's about. Also the scene where Inej trips him haha

Chapter 10: Inej. The Tante Heleen encounter is so visceral. There's a lot of scenes I wouldn't describe as fun to draw because of their content, but they'd be fun to draw in the sense that I'd have a fair amount of creative problem-solving to get the emotional effect across

Wesper tag team fight on the docks

Eyeball scene. Eyeball scene. Eyeball scene!!! Like imagine the impact panel: Kaz's and Oomen's silhouettes, white on a black background, a dynamic arc of blood between Kaz's hand and Oomen's face

Inej's interactions with Nina, Jesper, and Kaz on the boat. Especially the life debt scene

The little scene where they're passing the book binoculars around and Nina makes fun of Kaz? That part is so dear to me

Wagon scene and Kaz's backstory. Honestly, everyone's backstory. I'm a One Piece fan, what can I say

Inej climbing the incinerator shaft and realizing her dream!!!

Matthias's "betrayal." Absolutely legendary cliffhanger

Chapter 38: Kaz. Imagine a full splash page of him so far away, the rest of the page filled with just water, silent. And the feeding the crows scene! The lighting effects are incredible in my mind, trust on that one

Jesper, Inej, and Wylan piloting the tank! Never before have I wanted to draw mechanical details so badly

What would drawing Nina's POV be like when she's on parem? I envision lots of little panels detailing out all the things she can see and experience now

"I will have you without armor" but also the scene between Inej and Nina at the start of that chapter? I forgot about it on my first read, but I recently listened to that part again and it's so sweet

Pekka Rollins. I just want to draw him.

[obdong]

E-begging: Escape from Florida edition

Hey gamers I know I have a pay what you can commissions post going around but my situation just got a lot more dire.

Im a 29 year old trans autistic artist that is living in an unsafe household. I make 15.00 dollars an hour at a dog wash I work maybe 30 hours a week at. I am desperate. I need to leave Florida I cant live with my abusive family anymore another week here and I am going to kill myself. I cant afford anything rn I'm in debt up to my eyeballs from going to school.

please please please commission me I will draw literally anything.

p@yP@l and commission inquiries : pattersons1994@gmail.com

v3nm0: @ClayPuppington

Cashapp: $sailorscoot

I know its the holidays and we are all suffering but i really really really dont wanna have to do sex work again lol

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/751102464296665088

*Puts on old man costume*

"Back in my day, we used to cheat and procrastinate like real people! With copious amounts of bullshitting and pulling things out of our asses at the last minute! Secretly sneaking in little things written on our hands or in our phones fer tests and shit! Heck, maybe we didn't even NEED to cheat because it turns out we actually knew stuff, we just didn't know we knew stuff until our last minute papers got a good grade anyways because our shit actually had some analytical relevance borne from deep in our psyche, but we just didn't realize it because we had massive cases of imposter syndrome where we thought everyone else was smarter than us, while overlooking our own abilities!

Now these newfangled ChatGPTs are just taking the easy way out of the easy way out! What's up with that!? These new procrastinators and cheaters make us look even worse than we already do, cuz they ain't even doing the work of not doing the work! And y'all can't even say that you can learn from it in the art of bullshittin', cuz that's not even YOUR bullshitting, it's someone else's bullshitting mangled up with hundreds of other peoples' bullshittin'!

Feh, kids these days!"

*Takes off old man costume*

Addendum: old man anon griping about cheating with ChatGPT does not endorse cheating or procrastinating. I'm just being silly.

I mean... at least with regular old-fashioned cheating, also an academic tradition since time immemorial, at least you're engaging with the material somehow. You are putting your own two god-given eyeballs on that and using your own ickle brainikins to do SOMETHING with it, even if that something is morally questionable. We've all seen the elaborate cheat devices where someone managed to engrave all the exam answers onto a pen or a pair of socks or whatever -- at least that person went in and used their initiative to remember information SOMEHOW, and to do it under their own power. Now, yes, it will get you into trouble, and yes, there are plenty of conversations to be had about accessibility and the fact that not everyone learns by sitting in a room and being lectured at and then having to regurgitate it all from memory with no notes in a final exam, which is why there is a whole thriving field of educational pedagogy and best practices and how to accommodate students with different learning styles and etc. etc. I sometimes see AI framed as "uwu accessibility issue :(" and like... cmon. There are educational professionals who spend their whole lives and careers working out how to shake up the traditional learning format and present material in an engaging way and teach students how to think and write and otherwise be academic and rigorous. And like, if you're voluntarily in this space, then we presume you WANT that instruction! Not to just sit around and whine about how we aren't catering enough to you personally and this means you should get to use the Bullshit Plagiarism Nonsense Machine to never ever think at all!

Now, I will say that the naivete around AI is not only limited to students. I was in a department meeting yesterday where the literal associate dean of the college seemed startled to discover that AI might not be a) totally reliable b) able to totally replace lesson planning and evaluation/grading by an actual human professor (after several faculty members pushed back, shall we say, briskly on the idea that it could). Plenty of people still think it can just magically solve Academia (or /insert field here), and those are not just limited to clueless undergraduates. And yes, undergraduates are clueless in different ways and for different reasons in every era of the world; it is likewise an academic rite of passage. But I still cannot for the life of me understand why you, in ye olde benighted 21st century, would pay tens of thousands of dollars and/or accrue it in debt to go to college, to learn nothing, to whine and blame your professors for "not designing assignments well" (when again, every remotely decent educational professional agonizes for eons about how to do a good job of this for all kinds of students), to insist it is your entitled right to use the Bullshit Plagiarism Nonsense Machine, and then presumably be /shocked pikachu face/ when you don't learn anything and spend your time posting idiot takes on the internet. I mean. The state of critical thinking is /waves hand/ Already So Bad, and the AI craze plays directly into that by fulfilling the insidious fantasy that the hard things in life aren't actually hard and don't have to be learned by patient and careful practice. And that is just. Yeah. C'mon.

(I realize this was a funny/lighthearted ask, but yeah, we can consider this one old man turning to another old man on the park bench and making a joke, and the other old man bellowing YOUTH THESE DAYS!!! and scaring all the pigeons and/or passersby. Ahem.)

[eponastory]

I have to know but why do you ship Zutara and not Kataang which is canon?

Are you just lacking something in your life that you need to ship them together?

Are you lacking something in your life?

What in the pine tar covered chicken feathers are you talking about?!

My life is as it should be minus the anxiety and depression of being an almost 35 year old pan female with debt up to her eyeballs and student loans.

I ought to sick Godzilla on you for that.

But I won't, because that would be messy.

Actually, I ship Zutara because I just do. There are seeds there, even if it's grasping at straws to you. Honestly, I'm at the point in my life where I've been in love, loved, and had my heart broken many times. It's personal to me because this ship has actually helped me heal my heart when I had to let go of someone I truly loved and still love to this day. He wasn't good for me, even though I wanted him to be. Our relationship wasn't toxic by any means, but he was not the person I thought he was.

I was with him for five years, from 19 to 24. At some point, I learned that we didn't have the same goals in life. That and children weren't an option for us, so that kinda put a stop to things.

Of course, I shipped Zutara before then, but when we broke up... I threw myself into Zutara fanfiction. The stories that other people wrote helped mend that broken heart of mine enough to move on.

That's why it's special to me, and I will defend this ship forever.

[fullmoonfireball]

what is UPgamers i only JUST realized that the Pikmin 3 Secret File cutscenes use a different translation than the versions used in Pikmin 3 Deluxe for Olimar's Assignment

and all that because i wanted to grab a screenshot of Olimar mentioning the IT department in the Twilight River cutscene to be like "imagine working in IT for Hocotate Freight", only to make the discovery that line is remake-exclusive . so for future reference, here's a line-by-line comparison for both versions ig. dialogue below will be formatted like this:

AREA

"Wii U" // "Nintendo Switch"

GARDEN OF HOPE

"This is Olimar, captain of the SS Dolphin." // "This is Olimar, Captain of the S.S. Dolphin."

"This is the third time that I've set foot on this planet." // "I've been on this planet twice before already." (note: it's strange that they didn't fix this repeated mistake- this would actually be the fourth time, given that Pikmin 2 has two trips. i guess the miscounting is probably also in the japanese version(s), then.)

"Our company, Hocotate Freight, is up to its eyeballs in debt - courtesy of our beloved president." // "Hocotate Freight is drowning in debt. I'm not saying it's our company president's fault...because this is an official log."

"We've come here in search of treasure to help us repay that debt." // "We're here in search of treasure to pay off that debt."

[Louie cutaway]

"Needless to say, the local wildlife isn't exactly rolling out the red carpet for us…" // "But I know from experience that the local wildlife won't make this job easy."

TROPICAL WILDS

"This is Olimar, captain of the SS Dolphin." // "This is Olimar, captain of the S.S. Dolphin."

"This is my third visit to this planet. Hunting for treasure here never gets old!" // "I've been to this planet twice before already. I never tire of hunting for treasure here!"

"While searching this area, we stumbled across a key of some sort." // "I made an interesting find in this area: some sort of key-like object."

"I wonder if it unlocks a treasure chest?" // "I should hold on to it in case I find a treasure chest."

"Or could it be the key to..." // "Unless it's the key to something else?"

[Louie cutaway]

"…We'd better keep our wits about us." // "I'd better keep my eyes open."

"The crabs here are peckish, and we're on the menu." // "I wouldn't want to get between the crabs of this planet and their prey."

TWILIGHT RIVER

"This is Olimar, captain of the SS Dolphin." // "This is Olimar, captain of the S.S. Dolphin."

"This is my third visit to this planet. Hunting for treasure here never gets old!" // "I've been to this planet twice before already. I never tire of hunting for treasure here!"

"My explorations have taken me far and wide." // "I've travelled far and wide across this planet during my several trips here."

"Somewhere along the way, a number of my notes and memos went missing." // "But I'm only noticing now that several of my notes and log entries have gone missing."

"There must be some sort of bug in my file management software." // "It must be a leak with my file-management routines. I think I heard someone in IT talking about that once."

"Once we get back to Hocotate, I'll try to convince the president to invest in an upgrade…" // "Once I'm back on Hocotate, I'll try to convince the president we need an upgrade."

[Louie cutaway]

"Maybe he can upgrade Louie while he's at it." // "Maybe I can get an upgrade to my partner while I'm at it."

DISTANT TUNDRA

"This is Olimar, captain of the SS Dolphin." // "This is Olimar, captain of the S.S. Dolphin."

"This is my third visit to this planet. Hunting for treasure here never gets old!" // "I've been to this planet twice before already. I never tire of hunting for treasure here!"

"Unfortunately, I'm absolutely freezing, even with my spacesuit on." // "Unfortunately, even my advanced suit can't quite keep out the cold."

"It's doing a terrible job of keeping out the cold." // "I'm not surprised Hocotate Freight cut costs when it came to insulation. Brr!"

"It wouldn't surprise me if the president had plucked our spacesuits out of some budget mail-order catalogue." // "It wouldn't surprise me if everyone got the same standard-issue suit, no matter what kind of assignment they were on."

"Hocotate Freight's new venture has been an utter failure, and our earnings have suffered as a result." // "The company's new venture went down in flames, and it's dragged our yearly earnings down with it."

"Now it looks like we're cutting corners even on basic equipment like spacesuits." // "We don't have the money for decent space suits now. This one isn't even custom fitted."

[Louie cutaway]

"Shocking, to say the least." // "Without any insulation, I wouldn't want to put this suit up against any nasty shocks, either."

"I really should've held on to that Anti-Electrifier…" // "I really should've hung on to that Anti-Electrifier..."

FORMIDABLE OAK

"This is Olimar, captain of the SS Dolphin." // "This is Olimar, captain of the S.S. Dolphin."

"This is my third visit to the planet. Hunting for treasure here never gets old!" // "I've been to this planet twice before already. I never tire of hunting for treasure here!"

"While surveying this area, I came across something gold and shiny." // "Our survey has revealed a massive golden object in this region."

"It's got to be worth a fortune!" // "It'll be worth a fortune to the company!"

"My perpetually mute colleague Louie actually spoke up against coming here, for some reason…" // "My taciturn partner, Louie, didn't want to come here for reasons he refused to explain."

"Speaking of which… I haven't seen him around lately." // "Where did he get to, anyway? Well, it doesn't matter."

"Where's he disappeared to?" // "I'll just get this treasure myself and then it's back to Hocotate."

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

As the local reserver, (and obsesser) I'm here to tell you things about Book! Ace Merrill!!

NOTE!!!!!! Abuse mentioned! Please note this!

In the Book, The Body, which stand by me is based off of...Ace rides a motorcycle with the Cobra gang! He's also just as calm in the book as he is tbr film, cocky too.

It's implied he's a drug dealer however, and horribly abusive to all his girlfriends, tending to slap them around and such. It's also noted that he, and the gang, aren't much older than Gordie and his gang of friends.

Gordie and his friends are ment to be right at 13, or defiantly 12 going into 13, it is a coming of age film after all...so Ace Merrill and the gang are maaaybe 16-18...is what it's implied. (Denny lachance however, was a week away from turning 20 when he died poor boy)

The age thing is so weird, becuse it's implied Ace sleeps with a bunch of girls, and it's just like...okey?? Steven King can you lay off the weird obsession with teens sleeping together- (I'm not sorry)

Also the dug part: it's implied he deals in week since it's right st the turn of the 60s, but I'm sure he gets his hands on cocaine to.

In the book, Ace isn't actually the leader of the Cobra gang, Richard "Eyeball" Chambers is! And Ace is his right hand man, which in the movie, well I get why Ace was the leader yeah, but it implies he has pretty boyfriend private from Richard who loves him I bet.

He has a looong history of stealing, and gets caught trying to break into the safe at the general store and they send him the juvenile prison for a few years at the end of the novel the body.

Also he has at least 4 other siblings. He's the second oldest and there's an infant? And then a kid kinda?? Nesr Gordie and their age but younger?? Kinda??? But he's the second oldest and hates his home life....he's named John Merrill after his uncle or dad?? And he hates that name so much he gets violent over it because he can't stand his family or to be John, and then his uncle runs that junk yard..

Not much is diffrent, other than he and the cobras ride and work on their motorcycles a lot, AND own the cars.

Then he gets mentioned in another book, and has yet ANOTHER where it's about his death.

The other book he gets mentioned in a few times, and hes an adult now, but it's vaguely mentions he's a violent alcoholic, and horribly abusive to his current life? Girlfriend? So much so she's like...missing teeth...and brushed up when another character sees her. Ace is also very much addicted to coke, and his alcohol, and it's implied the Cobra gang went separate ways and some are more functing members of society others died.

It's implied Richard like...has a steady job and wife now?? Yeah, anyways, Ace is unbearable still...but he works at a mechanic shop and a factory too I think? Just mentioned, vaguly that he works in those places...he could have been fired as well.

The next book, and then later movie, (which doesn't have kiefer..) Ace is an older adult, and it goes into more detail on him. He wound up homeless, and inherited a massive house along with a bunch of debt, he finds a tressure map in the house and much like the young biy he still is at heart I supose(or greedy desprate adult) he rushes off to try and get the money in hopes of saving his ass from debt and becoming rich.

Only to be slowly, brutally murdered by...weird??? Native american??? Burial ground ghost?? Haunted ass lands and they kill him becuse he's bad??? Okey???

Like Steven king please change it up some, all that man knows is nature American haunted land, underage sex sceans, and sad endings....CHANGE IT UP SOME!!!!!

But that's book Ace!! ...yeah🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I'm sure you can see why I like my fan version of Ace, even film Ace more...I think you can see why I made him also be Mary at times.

Also accidental thing: Deadname/hates the name John, chooses the name Mary instead~ (accidental...Bible thing, you tell me please-)

NOOOOOO NOPE THIS ISN'T REAL NONE OF THIS IS IM IN DENIAL

IDK WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS TOTALLY DOESN'T HAPPEN WDYM

[No but on a fr note I'm definitely stickin to the movie and my thoughts on movie Ace more than the books 😤 I honestly feel like- as much as I wanted more of him in the movie, you can work with redeeming or changing up his character for later events if you'd want. YEAH. Thaaats right. Fixing him and making him try to be a better person for his GIRL and his BABIES 🫵💪💥💥]

The only thing I did keep that I researched about in the books is that he works at a mechanics shop- and that he has a motorcycle later on too.

STEVE HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MY BOY?? ME AND MIKEY gotta write him his own story smh. If he ain't gonna give Ace a shy little girlfriend to protect and be all sweet with OR make him genderfluid and be happy as a shy darling gal like Mary she deserves to be WE WILL

[bilesandthesourwolf]

I have 3 siblings and the 4 of us are millennials and my parents are boomers (Democrats thank fuck). My siblings are all married and have kids. My older sister is a stay at home mom with her autistic toddler. My brother and his wife both work for the government and combined make almost 200k a year and they have 4 daughters. My youngest sister is a well sought after massage therapist and her husband works for the government. They make about 180k a year and have 2 sons. My parents are in their mid 60s and tried to retire but they can't because social security is a nightmare. So, they're both working part time jobs while living with health complications. I finished my masters degree and literally can't get a job with it. My siblings all have debt up to their eyeballs and barely make it paycheck to paycheck. My older sister can't work cause of her daughter's autism and her husband has to pay an astronomical amount of child support to his ex-wife, so they're really in it.

So that's the context to this story. This morning I went to get coffee with my parents and older sister. We were talking about how all any of us want to do is stay at home and watch tv. My mom was like "why is that? what is wrong with us?" And I'm like, there's nothing wrong with us. We all understand how fucked we are. It doesn't matter how hard we work or what jobs we have. We're stuck with debt we can't get out of, barely making it paycheck to paycheck. Between all of us, we have varying degrees of education and trade schools, great jobs with the government and small business owners, and lots of kids to no kids. None of us are set financially and nothing we can do will change that. We live in a country in which we are bound to fail.

It's so depressing and that's why all we want to do is sit at home watching tv.

[mrfellsans]

Warning!

Long ramble about pizza tower even though I'm mostly talking about basics and levels and like other stuff ig!

Future me: sorry if it's cut off Tumblr keeps goofin around

Pizza tower spoilers even though I think everybody knows what it is but just in case I'll leave some stuff out.

Lets start off with the story, when we open up the game we get a little intro for why we are in the tower but there isn't much story that comes with it. The protagonist Peppino spaghetti is first seen in the first part of the cut scene and he looks miserable because he isn't able to pay his debt(Boohoo) when suddenly something appears in his restaurant, it's pizzaface, the main Gillian of the game and he is here to kill you with no regrets. He threatens peppino to go to his Pizza tower or he is gonna get a big ass Lazer and Lazer blast the living shit out of peppinos pizzeria so peppino is there like "DAAAAAAAMNNN DON'T DO THAT" and he starts running to the tower chasing the flying pizza but as soon as peppino enters the tower pizzaface that coward flew some where so peppino is all like "omg" and then the door slams shut behind him and he's all scared and stuff. Thats the story(that is not very accurate but accurate) anyway let's talk about tower basics. There are 5 floors, 6 bosses, 20 levels, 19 treasures, 95 toppins in total(but there are five for each level), and 57 secrets, and 26 clothes in total for peppinito of your counting both classic cook clothes and Halloween clothes of course. And also there are some hidden rooms throughout the tower and there are exactly 6 secret hub rooms. Lets start the game now, when you first enter the tower and walk to the right(idk my lefts and right so correct me if I'm wrong)there will be a pizza coded door, that is called tutoriel(undertale joke) you have to do the tutorial because it is necessary, unskipabble even if you wanna skip it! Don't complain just speed run it, but anyway in the level you will find an NPC called "Pizza granny" Granny will teach you basic movesets that peppino has so you don't keep getting them D-ranks, also while this is the tutorial pzaGranny doesn't show all the movesets you can use and I like this because on your way while beating the tower you can learn new things that peppino can do like the cute twirl and also that thing where he slides on the ground and starts going at max speed .. I think thats called match dash I have no memory of what that's called whatsoever but anywho if you beat the tutorial in under 2 mins or to be exact 1 minute and 45 seconds you will get access to all Lap 2 portals, Ill explain what those are later but first let's continue, after you beat the tutorial the hard pizza blocks that were blocking your way blow up and now you have access to other levels including John gutter, pizza escape, ancient cheese(should of been ancient grease THE PUN IS RIGHT THERE!! ANCIENT GREASE! IT'S RIGHT THERE AAAAA), Bloodsauce dungeon and The first boss fight which is none other then the pretty pepper himself, Pepperman. I love this idiot. Anyway back to the levels, when you beat tutorial as I said you unlock those levels and first you get to John gutter, once you enter John gutter your met with this purple themed area with many dead John's and also other enemies like cheese slimes and fork knights and monkeys(they are so annoying but silly), as you run along this new level you get to actually bring that moveset style stuff you just learned from the tutoriel to life because John gutter is a great example of what you should do after you learn how to play so let's just say that John gutter is like tutorial number 2 but more level-y. Yea. Anyways there are secrets here, hidden around but hard to pass(sometimes) and when you get to these you'll find an eyeball that's not fully pink but has some pink on it with pretty pretty eyelashes and when ya run into them you your teleported into a different room that is pink, the background has drawings of like eyes and little question marks or whateva and guess what! Every different eye you run into in every different level contains a different set up(duh) with different characters too because they are all randomized! So what I'm trying to say is each character you meet that are on these little brown pizza box platforms are just uhh different each time.. Like the levels(didn't know what to say). Anyway I know

[askpredetor]

How I dealt with failure in 2022

I don't make personal posts as often because I feel they scare off my mutuals and friends, but I needed to get this off my chest.

So, on February 2nd of 2022, I got fired from Wells Fargo over a glitch and technical error. They said I could reapply, but that never happened. For 9 months, I have been unemployed until like September, doing odd jobs, selling plasma, and selling video games, movies, and stuff I never use or stop using.

Seeing hundreds of emails saying the same thing from multiple organizations starting with, "Thank you for your time but we've found someone more qualified" only for the same position at the same location to open back up weeks later.

I then got an acceptance from Bank of America to become a banker there. I was so excited to finally have a job again until 10 minutes before I got into the building. I received a phone call, and I thought it was a robot call and declined. I entered the building, shook hands, and got the tour, until my manager got a phone call and I was then asked to leave. Apparently, my acceptance was a mistake, and they were too short staffed to have a person tell me that I was hired due to a system error.

Luckily, I'm now a supervisor at Frost Bank 2 months later, but that event left me broken and up to my eyeballs in debt with no help I wanted to end it all. But Luckily I held on and got a job eventually.

What I'm telling you all is just the mere act of hanging on is a good thing. How I dealt with failure is that I used my first paycheck from Frost to buy paint markers and wrote The Bank of America's recruiter's Phone Number, email on random bathroom stalls in the Grapevine, Southlake, Hurst, and Watauga area and Bank of America had a hiring freeze that lasted 3 months and their servers couldn't handle the junk mail.

And that's how I dealt with failure

[alex-guerin]

I had a Death Wish when I left for work today. I was backing out of the driveway and saw something hanging from our little garden flag. I had noticed it last night when I got home but thought it was something Coonhound related (we have 3 and my mom is obsessed with them so....). So, I hadn't thought anything of it.

Then I saw it...a flag with Trump's mugshot on an old fashioned wanted poster saying, "WANTED FOR PRESIDENT" I slammed on my breaks, threw my Jeep in park, got out and ripped it off it's little flag pole so fast I'm surprised nothing ripped or broke. I crumpled it up and threw it on the floor of the front seat and left for work. Got to work and took this ransom photo

Which I then proceeded to send to my mom along with this message

Now, I admit, I probably should have phrased some things differently, and I probably should have left out the swearing, and waited until I cooled down a bit before texting her,but every time I saw that damned flag, I'd just get pissed off all over again, so I gave no fucks and did it anyway.

Unfortunately, my mother had a reply of her own.

I left her on Read.

Now, nowhere did I happen to mention God or religion when I texted her. So where did this rant about God come from? And secondly, me going to college was HER idea. I did not WANT to go to college and be up to my eyeballs in debt. I couldn't think of anything that interested me enough to want to get a degree in that would make me any money. This didn't matter to her. She didn't care if I, and I quote, "get a degree in Underwater Basket Weaving! Just get a degree in SOMETHING!" so that I wouldn't end up working in a warehouse like she had for so many years.

Well. Oops? Looks like that backfired on her and now she's mad cuz I'm working in a warehouse and I have a different view of things from her. Both her fault.

Anyway, I digress.

When I got home, this took place...

I walked in the door, said hi to the dogs, gave Goose his medicine and went to go upstairs...

Mom: WHERE is my flag?

Me: *having folded it up respectfully instead of throwing it out in the garbage at work like I wanted to* Under the cookies I brought home on the counter.

Mom: Good! It better be.

Me: *walking behind her at her computer to get to the stairs, rolling my eyes and trying not to let out an audible sigh of resignation. Get to the stairs...*

Mom: And I do NOT appreciate you infringing on MY First Amendment Rights! This is the SECOND TIME you've done it to me, and it's going to stop!

Me: *under my breath, pretending not to have heard her* Ah yes. Good ol' Freedom of Speech. The only one the Trumpers know, and they are the only ones allowed to exercise it...

Now, dear well-meaning friends...please do not tell me I need to get out of this house (I already know this, I've known for a while, keep walking please), that I do not HAVE to stay here (will you find me a cheap apartment that will let me keep my cats and is close to work...), believe me when I say...no fucking shit. However, as already stated, it's very difficult to find apartments less than 40 minutes from my job that will let me have my boys. Believe me, I have looked. And the ones that WILL allow my boys, want a stupid amount of rent.

For those who fear my mother my throw me out...valid, I sometimes fear that myself. Then I remember, oh yeah, I pay my dad $440/month in "rent", which is literally half the mortgage payment. So even though my mom refuses to admit that I pay half the mortgage, and even though my name is nowhere on the mortgage paperwork, I am literally paying half the mortgage, and without my "rent" money...they wouldn't be able to make their mortgage payments. So they need me to stay so they don't risk losing the house. Thus, she won't kick me out.

I seem to have this knack for pissing her off. We butt heads on so many things, and I think part of what makes her so mad is that in the last few years, I've finally started trying to stand up for myself and not let her try to dictate my life for me. I'm not the timid little six year old who hangs off her every word and never questions anything, just blindly does what they're told. I have my own views. My own beliefs. My own opinions. And I don't think she likes that.

And what's worse, she likes to remind me that I'm just like my father...and I honestly can't remember the last time she had anything good or positive to say about him. I actually don't think I have EVER heard her truly say anything good or positive about him. She's always bitching to me about him. I think she also forgets I am half her DNA also. So like, I got her stubbornness and being ornery and independent streak.

😮‍💨 Sorry. I know people avoid RL Blogging and it's annoying to see someone whining about their life. I just needed to get it off my chest.

[praytriarchy]

I wish there was a way for low-income students to call this out. But it's tone-deaf of universities to expect a "well-rounded" student in this economy. We can't all afford to volunteer and do unpaid internships. Some of us have to actually work for a living. "Well-rounded student" really just means I'm up to my eyeballs in debt or my parents pay for everything.

[qqueenofhades]

So I decided to go back to school this year and am now in grad school, which I am somewhat struggling with more than I would like; damn them ADHD brain gremlins. As a grad school veteran, do you have any tips for not drowning in grad school while being a semi-functioning employed adult? 💚

Aha, well. I haven't actually gone to grad school while also working full time (unless I really lose my mind and do another master's degree while also managing two and/or three academic programs, but let's not talk about that), so I don't have specific suggestions in that regard. However, I can offer my basic tips for surviving grad school, which include:

* Set a routine and make sure you block out time to do your reading and/or writing. If nothing else, prioritize this. A lot of your grade in the class will come from what is directly before the professor's eyeballs, i.e. whether you can prove that you actually have a clue what they're teaching you and whether you can write coherently as a result. You can skim-read (dirty secret: almost all academics do), but you have to know how to skim-read, so you'll still taking in the essential points of the content. Usually this means reading the abstract, the introduction and conclusion, and maybe the beginning and end of each chapter or article section. Take notes. If you think "oh no, I'll definitely remember that!" -- that is the devil talking. Read with a pen in your hand. Future You will thank you.

* Likewise: you will need to take at least a few days to write a decent grad school essay. Plan in advance. Some people are the kind who can frantically scramble to pull an entire undergrad essay out of the hat on the night before and submit it at 11:59pm, but a) this doesn't work in grad school, or at least not as much, and b) if that's how you're going through it, you're not getting value out of it for money, and grad school is FRIKIN EXPENSIVE. The most amount of outstanding student loan debt I have is from my master's degree, not my bachelor's or PhD. If you're skating through it and bullshitting everything, then it's just not worth what you're paying.

* COMMUNICATE! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COMMUNICATE!!!! This should be both to your professors in school and/or your bosses at your regular job. If you anticipate a schedule conflict, need an extension, have something that needs to be done in one front that will have to take priority over the other -- PLEASE COMMUNICATE! (Is this my Traumatized Faculty And/Or Administrator Voice talking? You can't prove it.) Don't drop in with a panicked email five hours before the deadline and beg for more time/a dispensation/extension/whatever. Most people will be willing to work with you, but that relies on giving them time and/or planning space to do so and make other arrangements; after all, they are also counting on you to be a team player and if you can't be, to give them the chance not to be screwed by your absence. It is a basic courtesy to promptly answer (and my god, READ!!!!) your emails and to communicate with other people BEFORE problems arise, rather than when you're right in the middle of them and it is already an emergency. Everyone will thank you for this.

* Likewise: work out which things need to be done as soon as they come up, and which ones are able to wait a little longer. My particular brand of neurodivergence often makes me think that I need to do new things RIGHT NOW GOD RIGHT NOW FIVE ALARM FIRE!! and I stress and get anxious until I do them, even if I'm already working on something else. Project-hopping can sometimes be helpful if you're feeling blocked on something else, but do also have a sense of what needs to be prioritized most.

* If you're not already on medication and/or have some way of managing your ADHD: I would strongly recommend that. Grad school is hard enough, and you don't need to make it artificially harder. There are always the usual bugaboos about obtaining any kind of care, but do what you have to do, medically or otherwise, to make sure you're putting your best foot forward and not artificially sabotaging yourself because the brain chemicals just won't play ball. Believe me, I also know something about that, so yeah.

Good luck!

[liminalpebble]

Eddie's Education: Chapter 4

Masterlist link

Minors DNI

As Eddie's van trundled through the heavy curtains of rain, he'd run out of things to say, so he was fidgeting instead, heart ready to thump out of his chest.

He didn't like the dark, the rain, the thunder storms; not after the crimson lightening and deafening thunder claps of the upside down, not after trekking through the cold endless nights of terrain like sinewy tar pits as his wounds stung with every step, always running on adrenaline and fight or flight, desperately seeking an exit. It was still hard to believe that it was all real, but if he ever doubted it, he could see and feel the scars to remind himself. Actually, he used to enjoy the night time most of all, and watching thunderstorms under the awning with his Uncle Wayne, swigging coffee from one of their many collected mugs and shootin' the shit until well after sunset, but those were more innocent days. Now just the vermilion wash of a stoplight gave him shivers, reminding him of that red-flashing sky.

Of course, his heart was also thumping from nerves, worried about his tutor; someone he was hoping to consider his friend (though he wouldn't dare get his hopes up for more). She was so quiet sitting there beside him, an expression of defeat drawn over her dark almond-shaped eyes like a curtain. She seemed so soft and so small, balled up in the passenger seat with her head against the window. He was dying to hold her.

As he pulled up to the spot outside her building and cut the engine, he heard sniffing and hiccuping just barely beneath the slashing din of the storm, and turned to see her sobbing.

“Oh...hey hey hey!” he prattled, suddenly forgetting his fears. He twisted in his seat to face her and fished his bandanna from his pocket, handing it to her.

“Thank you. I'm so sorry, Eddie. I'm being a baby,” she gasped out, rubbing her eyes with the soft cotton. “Thanks for the lift. I'll see you Thursday.”

“Hey!” He said holding her arm gently. “I'm not gonna let you go off to cry your eyes out alone, sweetheart. You've listened to me enough. Talk to me.”

“I shouldn't. I'm already on thin ice.”

“Leia, look at me. I won't tell anyone. I promise. Get it off your chest.”

Looking into his guileless brown eyes, she knew he meant it to the core. “I just...I've worked so hard to get my Master's, to be a good teacher and...and be taken seriously and it's just never enough. I've jumped all the hurdles in record time...tried to live up an insane standard, even though all my life no one had much faith in me. I get talked down to like a child. I'm up to my eyeballs in student debt,” she looked around and shrugged “and I don't have anything or anyone here in the ass end of nowhere...no offense,” she quickly added, worried that Eddie might take her comment personally.

“Nah, don't be sorry. You're right. This place is a shithole.”

She let out a little bark of laughter at that, wet eyes meeting his.

“I just feel so alone. The way people look at me here, like I'm an alien...just because I don't have a last name they recognize, or because I don't give a fuck about the local teams making the play-offs...”

“Or because you'd rather sit home reading Tolkien than going to the games,” Eddie added.

She knit her dark brows together in confusion. “How did you know I like Tolkien?”

He turned beet red. “Oh...Uh...I saw The Silmarillion on Book Mountain the first day.”

She laughed again, and it dislodged a few more tears, about to drip from her chin, onto her clothes. Without thinking, Eddie reached over to catch them, stroking them off her chin as he cradled her cheek. His eyes went wide with panic as he thought, oh fuck...oh fuck...that was weird, Eddie. That was a weird thing to do. You shouldn't have done that. Even as he thought this, he realized, to his horror that his hand wasn't moving from her face. In fact, she had closed her eyes, relaxed, her thick black lashes glossed with tears, lips and cheeks rosy from sobbing. He felt a little guilty thinking that she looked so pretty when she cried, that her skin felt so soft, and her lips looked so delicious, like a ripe wet apple. Her shoulders slumped in relief, leaning into his touch.

This feels so good...so right, Leia thought; the way the callouses on his fingers grazed gently over her jaw in little soothing strokes, as if he was terrified to hurt her with his rough hand. The cool smooth metal of his rings calmed her flushed skin. Then her heart sank as she thought, but it isn't right. It isn't right to lean on him. I'm the teacher, he's the student. I would be abusing my power.

“Sorry!” they yelped to each other simultaneously after being lost in the moment, as if they both touched a hot stove.

“It's just there was a little...” Eddie stammered.

“It's okay, Eddie. Thank you,” she said, smiling as she reassuringly patted his forearm, which was now bare without his jacket. With a start, she remembered that she was still wearing it and said “Oh...here you go,” passing it back to him.

“You sure, sweetheart? It's still coming down out there.”

“It's fine...it's fine. I'm like two steps from the door. Thank you Eddie, for listening...for everything.”

“No problem...it's nothing,” he said with a little dismissive wave. “Anytime, seriously...oh here,” he said grabbing a scrap of receipt and a pen from the littered dashboard and scribbling his phone number”.

“Eddie...I can't...”

“Seriously, call me. You shouldn't be alone in this town. There are other weirdos like us if you know where to look. Hawkins is your home now. It should feel like one.”

She nodded, tucking the little slip in her backpack, then looking him in the eye. “Goodnight, Eddie.”

He let out a breath he didn't realized he'd been holding as he said, “Goodnight, Miss Vespero.”

She giggled at that, and in a flash she was out the door, and in the lobby of her building, waving to him. He waved back, giving her a big silly grin which would be plastered to his face the rest of the evening, and most of the next day.

@sunflowerdaydreamer