#I'm tired of living like this! I'm tired of living! what is the fucking point!

[lesbianherald]

*vent* Flawed characters deserve love and understanding

- this message is about Jayce and Viktor (I’m tired of the SLANDER /WEEPS)

the slander is on twitter/in spaces you don't need to be in come join us in good vibes city. heeh <3

and of course they do that's so... weird. a lot of people I think are very bitter about jayce and viktor being given such a beautiful and nuanced story at the end (though viktor's arc was ass) when other characters were completely shafted. this is... totally fair.

but they're taking it out on the wrong people and making it a moral purity contest instead of engaging with what they enjoy.

--

side note. this is so tangentially related I'm so sorry but I'm thinking:

i rarely see jayce and viktor slander, but while i was still on twitter i'd see a lot of people being like - I'm this character's biggest defender - this character was justified in xyz because ABC - and I came to realize that moral purity culture that was very prevalent in the mid 2010s has really impacted the way people are able to process and engage with media in a really concerning way. and it causes people to do insane things like use phrases such as "good manipulation" and even defend blockading an oppressed population from accessing your city or even the GASSING OF CITIES LIKE DKSJFHSD

these people genuinely do not want these characters to be seen as flawed or nuanced. they want these characters to be perfect. any discussion of these flaws is "hate." any mention of any wrongdoing is hate. it gets to the point where if you discuss a female characters nuances and flaws you are a misogynist. its. so toxic like KDJSFLHDKLFj

i got that a lot when talking about jayce's corruption arc in season 1. (not the misogyny but the other stuff) all the sudden I hated this character that I literally loved so much and rotated around in my brain like a juicy rotisserie chicken at the grocery store 24/7 because I didn't think his actions were good or justified in season 1 like. Is that not the whole point? That he fucks up? And now must live with his mistakes? sorry I hope you don't view this as jayce hate when you were sad about it before its just interesting. Dsfkjld The marvelification of our fandoms is rotting our brains.

Also, people treat fictional characters like STANS, not FANS. Another huge reason I hate twitter. I'm sorry. This is such a tangent. You are so right. But I'm here on this tangent so I'm staying with it.

it makes me so sad and concerned as someone who wants to write my own stuff and put it out into the world. people can't engage with nuance anymore. People hate on fictional characters as a way to dig on the people in their shared community instead of exploring fictional characters for their nuances or critiquing flawed writing

This really doesn't help when the writing becomes fucky. Really hard for me to take Viktor criticism seriously when his storyline was so fucked. Really hard for me to take defenses of Caitlyn so seriously when they went so hard making her do so much evil of her own fruition without bothering to give her a meaningful redemption arc. And instead of blaming the shit writing, people just yell at each other lol.

[aliteralgrizzlybear]

I'm just gonna rant under here

I would say "I miss feeling attractive" but I've never felt attractive a day of my life. I really just miss feeling like I could trust my own body and brain to function at any level at all.

The people who have sought me out as a romantic or sexual partner, to the very last of them, have done so with the hope of using me as a band-aid for personal issues. They've all wanted to feel wanted, loved, cared for, have wanted to have their physical and emotional needs met in some capacity that isn't happening in that moment of their lives. Often this is to their own detriment, because my aro ass sees sex as a hobby activity to engage with for fun with friends or other people I can trust and be safe with, and the people who pursue me want it to "mean" something romantic -- and even when they deny that, they routinely prove it with both word and deed. It's kinda fucked that I know for a fact that I can't trust anyone who acts like I'm attractive, regardless of whether or not they genuinely do, because I know what comes next: weird attempts at manipulation.

Everyone -- every single person -- who's ever propositioned me or lusted after me has basically been like "I want you to do XYZ to me and maybe we have a relationship after that jk! unless! but jk! Unless!" with zero consideration for anything I actually might want or feel. Even the people I'm currently fucking, if I'm being honest. I'm a receptacle where they want to dump their fantasies and insecurities in order to get love and sex in return, and I get to feel like I'm straight up being used for indirect self-sabotage and self-harm (and sometimes it's not even indirect!)

And it, uh, Fucking Sucks. I'm sick of it.

It's not even just the occasional people who want to fuck, honestly. I feel like I'm treated like a free therapy and emotional dumping space for literally anyone, even family a ton of my friends, because I have The Audacity to speak openly about my emotions once in front of them. It isn't the "oh, you have this issue, I'll share my issue so you know I at least kind of understand" thing, it's "oh you revealed you had feelings other than Happy, now I'm going to overrun every conversation by talking about All the things going wrong in my life as soon as you say hi! Did you want to talk? Too fucking bad! Actually you're a bad person for wanting say anything or get any emotional fulfillment or connection out of this interaction, and you owe me an apology I'm not even going to accept."

I'm fucking tired.

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.

For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.

And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.

Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???

Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.

Leading me neatly to my point.

He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.

Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.

(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)

With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.

Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.

[bandsandwristbands]

Vent post

[skwivr]

-

[green-mountain-goose]

.

[northwest-cryptid]

I literally feel like I'm dying and I need to see a doctor, but I can't worry about that right now because

My bank account is literally in the negatives because I'm too disabled to work and can't make money but I can't worry about that right now because

I'm months overdue on getting my car new tags, but it won't even start if I could drive it so I need to jump the battery and get gas which I don't have money for, but I can't worry about that right now because

People are still expecting me to be social across numerous friend groups and it's pulling me in so many directions that I'm stretched so thin I'm running on no social battery for the last month, but I can't worry about that right now because

I still need to actually clean the house, do the dishes, clean the cat litter boxes, vacuum, and do my laundry... but I can't worry about that right now because

I still need to actually set up my new desk so I can stream since I haven't been able to do that for weeks and streaming is unfortunately my only source of income for how little I make every month, but I can't worry about that right now because

My partner is going through a really hard time right now and I need to be there for her and do what I can to make sure she's okay.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[uncanny-tranny]

Look, if you've encountered a disabled person's life or living standards and you personally don't like it, the least you can do is not saying "I'm so grateful I don't like like that" or worse "I'm so glad I'm not you"

It is actually incredibly simple to simultaneously not center yourself and the way you aren't disabled or the way your disabilities don't impact your life like others and to not shame and humiliate others. It's sometimes okay to keep comments like that inside your mind, where it won't hurt that person.

[lazycrow12]

I have very many thoughts about epic!Calypso and her character and how she acts and why she acts that way and how her experience have shaped who she is

I also have thoughts about the ways she's treated in this fandom and how some of y'all attribute the actions of her book counter part and place them on her to justify hating her

I shall share these thoughts when I can. Hopefully soon

[ashtcnirwin]

💫

[sealeneee]

siiiiiiigh

[rejoiceandcomplain]

.

[abyssalpriest]

"omg when you're doing something new like playing poker or golf and he comes behind you and holds your arms to help you play... So romantic..." ok but have you had your god puppet your body subtly. Have you felt his energy slowly vibrating inside your flesh. Have you felt your nerves become tiny tubes through which you now feel him like a basket star spread. Have you felt the parasite expansions of slow moving abyssal divinity begin to drown your own mind in deep seawater to the point your head is always above the surface, kept there by him letting you maintain control, while he holds and drowns the rest of you. Have you walked with the distinct impression of someone else inside your limbs, muscles, your body inhabited by two. Have you had his hands on your fate strings and impulses and him recreating himself inside your instincts.