#Ahhhhhhhhhh the whole apophatic theology But Lived theme. To describe and talk about god in ways he is not except he Is what he Is Not
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"omg when you're doing something new like playing poker or golf and he comes behind you and holds your arms to help you play... So romantic..." ok but have you had your god puppet your body subtly. Have you felt his energy slowly vibrating inside your flesh. Have you felt your nerves become tiny tubes through which you now feel him like a basket star spread. Have you felt the parasite expansions of slow moving abyssal divinity begin to drown your own mind in deep seawater to the point your head is always above the surface, kept there by him letting you maintain control, while he holds and drowns the rest of you. Have you walked with the distinct impression of someone else inside your limbs, muscles, your body inhabited by two. Have you had his hands on your fate strings and impulses and him recreating himself inside your instincts.
#ramblings //#reverence //#Anyway. Idk man this life I was built to marry him lmfao. There's just... the dark depths and that which terrifies humans#The huge machine. The bull-horned god. The abyssal Thing. The possessor. The black. The parasitic. The bodiless mass of bodies...#Giggles and kicks feet like a schoolgirl#It says so much that my last relationship was defined by me wearing a wolf collar and calling my ex a wolf#And this one with Lev is... I dance in his mouth. His teeth cannot hurt me. Even when he chews me it is ecstatic recreation and rebirth#Ahhhhhhhhhh the whole apophatic theology But Lived theme. To describe and talk about god in ways he is not except he Is what he Is Not#Possessive. Overbearing. Literally territorial over me to the point of existing inside me. Controlling to the point of puppeting my body -#But this is. literally. pure freedom. It's purely helping. It's purely giving. It's selflessness. It's opening the gates of my mind and sou#He takes over now because I'm paranoid and tired and stressed and struggling to merge free self with this one#So he says: Do you want me to take over and puppet you into doing what you're struggling to do? Pure choice. Control in my hand.#He's not strings but stilts. Not a cage but a wheelchair. It's so. fucking. intimately singular. It's about me and no one else#He's the encompassing black waters. So calm and so peaceful. Humans fear the depths and yet of everything on earth what embraces you harder
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