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This is SO interesting, my Dark Urge character in BG3 sometimes just.... does not have the moderate and sane options that my blank slate one did. I definitely feel like this ought to be a second playthrough NG+ kind of thing but also I’m having so much fun with him that I do not WANT to finish my other playthrough first. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#I'm sure I've even missed some of them#and I definitely notice the unhinged flavor of some of the options#the ones that are specific to DUrge I mean#like going 'I've always wondered what my own burning flesh would smell like' when faced with possible branding#my dude that is fucked up#love it#but also talking to the baby owlbear you do not have ANY of the soft options#your only option is to tell it to start attacking goblins#whereas a more hinged character can persuade it to do the chicken chase course#and I think had other options also?#Very Interesting Stuff#also I'm LOVING the inspirations he's getting#just moments when it's like 'oh man that's what's sticking in your head. that is so messed up. I love it.'#anyway yes he is absolutely getting fanfic I want to study him like a bug#babble tea (blacklist this for less chatter)
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Hello! Are you able to make a Stim/mood board based around the “Fruitbat” episode of Bluey? Like with some little bat plushies, and fruit squishy’s :3
Yeah!!
#Bluey#fruit bat#!!!!#this was the perfect opportunity for me to use some fruit bat plushie pics that i had#this is very nighttime themed even though I'm not sure you wanted it to be that way#but i hope you enjoy#sfw interaction only#agere#sfw agere#moodboard#age regression#agere moodboard#sfw littlespace#age dreaming#no pacifier#bluey cartoon#bluey heeler#bluey#it's been ages since I've done a bluey themed board#i missed doing them!!
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So I just decided to render the speedpaint videos for this month's Patreon rewards and instead VLC corrupted all my files when I tried to convert them from mkv to mp4 and it overwrote the originals so now I have nothing, lost all the process of the two illustrations I had done and it's almost the end of the month and I have to paint and record the process of two new illustration in a couple of days before I have to leave on a trip 🙃
#nips blogs#personal#I want to put my head in a blender#apparently there is no way to recover them#the files I'm left with are like 150b each so there is no video data in them anymore and it even fucked up the extensions#I didn't even have the program set to overwrite originals while converting..it just did that on it's own for some reason#I'm not sure I can even make it in time at this point#I haven't missed a Patreon deadline in my life and I've been doing it for 8 years I want to dieeeeee#now they are all either .sfk.mp4 or .mp4.sfk like why two extensions per file and why are they even sfk when that's audio only aaauguhh
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Lately, when I talk about someone I strongly disagree with, I think about my friends.
When I interact with someone who regularly rants about people, and tends to take things in the worst ways (without any attempts at self-reflection or grace), I feel more on-edge. I'm nervous to voice opinions. I'm always over-thinking everything I send them, worried about how they'll receive it.
On the other hand, I feel much safer during conversations where someone is speaking neutrally about those they feel at conflict with. When they feel upset about a situation, but without talking aggressively about the other person. Because I know that if we're ever in a disagreement, or have some sort of conflict or misunderstanding, they won't hurt me or suddenly hate me*.
I used to speak much more aggressively about people. My personality disorders, combined with online toxic environments, were big factors in that. I was stressed and angry constantly, and I felt justified, and I felt afraid and ashamed to respond with anything but anger. But to make a long story short, I had several big painful interpersonal experiences where I realized how my attitude was impacting my friends.
I remember the nervousness in my friends' eyes. I remember the people I've met who are much older and never grew out of that reactive communication style, and I don't want to be that person. I want my loved ones to feel safe around me.
So nowadays, I do my best to speak compassionately (or at least neutrally). Because I want to signal to my friends that I'm not going to be cruel to them, or to automatically believe the worst of them, during a conflict or misunderstanding. I try to vent about situations and my fears instead of people.
I wish I'd realized this before.
*(I discuss splitting in the tags)
#actuallynpd#actuallybpd#actuallyautistic#relationship advice#communication skills#I added the autism tag because we missed the social cues that would have alerted us of this early on#and that sure is a big thing we talk about in therapy.#Accidentally hurting people is so painful. We learned this back in 2020 and have been#practicing it ever since. We've wanted to share this with others because honestly a post like this would have prevented a lot of pain and#conflict.#And as promised; about the splitting-#This isn't a post meant to shame anyone for struggling with intense anger or distrust or splitting or any other symptom#My partner and I both have PDs. I've learned to self-regulate intense anger before venting. I've learned how to use more neutral words even#when I don't feel them. And when he splits on me he tells me he's having a BPD moment and that he needs some time alone#That's okay and healthy <3 Mental illness is tough. PTSD is tough. I often jump to the worst conclusions because I'm scared of being hurt.#I've just learned to handle it differently.#I wanted to clarify that because I don't want anyone to think they're inherently bad for having trauma reactions. My goal was to make the#type of post I needed back then when I lacked that social awareness. I had to work through a lot of guilt and shame and that was really#really hard. But it was so worth it. I'm so so glad she told me.
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It's always so funny to me when people call Kaz a serial killer or a murderer bc like. boy do I have news for you about the other crows.
#like idk how to tell you this bestie but every single one of them has a kill count. yes even wylan.#prime example of getting so caught up in the aesthetics or character types that you miss the actual reality of what happens in#a story#also i'm not sure serial killer is even an accurate description#similar to when people started referring to inej as an assassin. like bestie that is straight up not what she does. and if it was she's#doing a terrible job. the books tell you a million times that she's a spy#to be clear this isn't an 'uwu kaz did nothing wrong' post esp bc most of the time when ppl call him this they're not actually criticizing#his actions. it's just a pattern i noticed. if anything its a 'stop sanitizing the rest of the crows' post.#but it is interesting to me that kaz is the only character that people will really joke about having killed people#something something you've bought into the dirtyhands legend#i feel like i've made some version of this post in the past but i don't remember so you're hearing it again#six of crows#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#matthias helvar#nina zenik
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(╥﹏╥)
#We've had our yearly secret santa gifts exchange at my dorm and I've been gifted the first volume of Beast 😭😭😭😭😭#I'm crying forever. This december marks three years since I've watched the first b/sd episode#and yet this is the first time I actually own a b/sd manga volume. Like I own it and I can read it whenever I want!!! How cool is that!!!!!#Like there's so many Akutagawa images in it!!!! It's insane!!!!!!!! AND IT'S BEAST AT THAT#I'm deeply moved because I never spoke about it to virtually anyone here (at my dorm)?#Like I suppose a bunch of people vaguely know I like anime but only a couple of close friends know I like. Like-like reading manga lol.#And the person who gifted it DEFINITELY didn't know I like anime in general much less b/sd specifically much less Beast in particular!!!!!#I'm 100% sure (they just arrived this year and we hadn't even had that much occasions to talk to each other).#Which means they went through the trouble of gathering intel from my close friends about what I like and actually follow through‚#seek for the specific manga in a comic store etc... It's such a nice gesture I'm so heartwarmed.#And of course I'm glad for every gift I've received in the last years (genuinely)‚ but the fact that this was the most *specific* to what–#I like. It makes it so special! They were so kind.#There must be one (1) person in this whole 60 people dorm who knows I like Beast–#(that would be the girl who introduced b/sd to me in the first place) and the fact that they asked them for it...#I feel both very grateful and lucky lol#When I unwrapped it!!! Like I thought it was just a random book which would have been nice but like!!!!!#When I actually saw through the thin paper the cover!!!! The scream I screamed in my head#Anyways!!!! I own a b/sd manga now!!!!! I've only got time to go through the first chapter so far but it's suchhhh an experience.#It's like reading it for the first time again 😭😭😭 Half because the translation is so much different than the English one lol.#And I basically know the English version by heart. Half because I never saw this kind of high quality!!!!! It's!!!!! Insane!!!!! Like!!!!!!#I'm crying 😭😭😭 The drawings are so sharp and crisp (in the good way). The lines are so clean there's no disturbance at all#I literally never saw anything so good in my life I'm crying a little. I'm so so glad they blessed me with Beast specifically#The takebon edition is pretty cheap (it's just planet manga so there's no color illustrations or dust cover or anything unfortunatelly.#But to make up for it the volumes are significantly cheaper then let's say J-Pop)#There's also some unique typesetting choices? The text from the book-like boxes is in lowercase which is interesting!#Initially I thought I wouldn't have liked the translation (opening it randomly there was Akutagawa saying “crepa!” (“die!”) to Dazai in ch1#Which was kinda jarring since it's very low register and everyone knows Akutagawa has very complex speech patterns.)#But actually reading it I'm really enjoying the translation so far!!!!#There's so many choices that made me grasp details I actually missed all the times I've read the English translation.#That is to say! Very excited to read it!!!! Will probably make a review / translation commentary if I can find the time!!!!!
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a little more disorganised exploring
#disorganised only bc some are from my older NG+ save file where I managed to NOT override gravity and died missing a zip line jump#and then ended up being told by Aloy that I need to finally do Erend's quest so Avad will talk to me#even tho I literally just saved Itamen and his mom so what the heck. he knows who we are gdi#anyway. the other ones are from my embrace-escape run where I'm outside early just collecting stuff#and doing as many quests as the game allows pre playing through the Proving#world's a little weird. campfires don't save your progression properly. but vantage points do#and you can fast travel to settlements. just.. no override and only one bandit camp as far as I've been able to tell#so it's my favourite game - hiking simulator 3040 my beloved. love this game. the vibes are stellar and the visuals are gorgeous#The Cut is lovely too but I got sidetracked going for all the metal flowers and vessels and vantage points instead#plus.. no tallnecks so far and even if they showed up I couldn't override them anyway#so cauldrons are prob out of the question too. not sure if I tried before tho#saddest thing so far: no Proving means no Yan means no Solai means no Nakoa quest and therefore no Nakoa :'(#but Daytower is locked until later anyway.. tho maybe I could get there from the other side? the other gate further north is open luckily#which means I've met Petra again and done her first quest. which does make me happy. I've missed her and her flirting :)#(grandma Teersa is so well done btw. LOOK AT HER)#anyway. off to bed now#lou plays#Horizon Zero Dawn#hzd remaster
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honestly? I think there should just in general be more appreciation for Bond's physique lmao. Like. Why do we never get Q waxing poetic about Bond's muscular thighs for example, or the mesmerizing interplay of muscles under skin as he does basically anything. I get we got that stuff w Bond and honeypots & objectification, but like surely we can work some honest appreciation (and also to be honest, horny lust) in there.
#I feel like ever other fandom Im in has some kind of wax poetic about physique thing#but I feel like I've been missing/craving that in 00q#it seems like if anyone's physique is mentioned it's Bond re Q but like w the author giving Q the waif treatment#(the man would NOT have alabaster skin or whatever he has like an olive undertoneee. even pale he wouldn't be like Bella Swan pale)#I'm sure there are some Q lusts over Bond's physique out there but it's like... we can have him admire the physique without it being#an objectify the body thing!! there are nuances here!!!#anyway if anyone has fic recs with this pls point them my way#I may be suffering from representational bias here and etc
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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yagami, WHY do you have to be such a bitch around kuwana. i'm going to strangle you.
(P.S.: he didn't tell kuwana that tesso said not to feel bad about it. obviously.)
#kuwagami#judge eyes#nah the best thing here is that yagami fucking KNOWS already that kuwana is not a piece of shit#he can admit to other people that yeah kuwana really cares about people. he knows that kuwana probably feels bad AND he is correct about it#and when he. when he fucking. SEES him. he starts being a bitch. amazing.#yagami stop being a little hater challenge FAILED!!!#damn you know we all see that kuwana annoys yagami out of spite and while it CAN be true under some circumstances>#(like. trying to weasle his way into yagami's investigation. you know. and the flirting. obviously.)#but as i see it yagami is no better. his default state is being a bitch so of course he is bitchy to kuwana as well#but he can't switch it off and just. acts so immature that kuwana has no other option than to do the same#guess who's having more common sense out of these two actually. the answer may shock you#anyway if you're interested why my fics are being written so slow it's because i'm picking apart canon events to see if i missed something#uhm I GUESS!#this one i've thought about for a while but it's now relevant for the update so i came back here and just. just had to post it you know.#also yeah i kinda dug my own grave with picking yagami's disguise here because i haven't stopped laughing until he took it off#“no kuwana of course i made sure rk wouldn't know it's me i had THE BEST disguise even my friends wouldn't know it's me”#though who's kuwana to judge. he just changed his jacket and went eehhh good enough#these two idiots deserve each other. fucking hate them#putting letters together one word at a time
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this is smth thats not gonna make sense to most ppl who follow me but 'm Thinking again so tag rambly
#i really miss lightdogs! they were so fun and Yes okay the community. in hindsight. kind of sucked butt#but i had a lotta fun there and even though i DID need the money from selling my dogs i miss them#like i know the sad fam is SAFE and fine and i wouldn't wanna get them back from the person who has them bc i trust that person#and i dont .. know where the silly babies are but im sure theyre fine too#and the few others i had like redwood and whatnot i've made ocs to fit the story roles they had so i don't NEED them back#but idk there was smth about the simplicity of them that i really liked#and i haven't been able to confidently make a new oc who captures that level of simplicity without feeling Bad or making them complex#and idk. friend i like got me into them so theyre nostalgic n happy#its been like .#fiveee years... but i think about them a lot#i don't know if i'd want a Lightdog™ again or if id be happier to just find some sorta medium where i can make a character that gives me#the same emotions that the dogs did#but man if it was still a species you KNOW i'd be busting my ass right now to get sp-inspired customs from the mods LMAO#though by now i'm sure there'd be so many it'd be REALLY hard to pick a theme lolol#idk! rolls around. i'm not big on species anymore and find myself only creating one or two lately and then sorta drifting off bc i do#personal development outside of the species world#but i like the Feeling of being in a community- and when i didnt have Fandom™ to give me community i was like. unhealthy about species tbh#overworking myself and sometimes spending money i didnt really have; i like that now i'm Better about it#but man.......................... critters................................ sigh......#pine prattles#this one really is a fuckin prattle
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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All I want for Christmas is nothing but my favorite carols in church
#pro: the worship team is doing the first noel (my favorite) this week#con: we are also doing this ccm song i hate with really overcomplicated harmonies that no one has even bothered to write down#pro: we also get come thou long expected jesus#con: a steven curtis chapman song#i like to think I've gotten more tolerant of kinds of worship I don't vibe with as I've matured#but then at Christmas i just have zero patience for anything but the beautiful carols#like. Christmas has some of the richest and most beautiful music ever written for any reason. full stop#seculars and folks of other religions frequently agree on that#and for every generic ccm song we do at church that's a missed opportunity to do a carol#and like. I'm sure the ccm Christmas stuff moves someone#but i have yet to encounter a person who likes Christmas and dislikes the carols#and so so so many people have deep connections to them#idk#it's frustrating#pontifications and creations#unto us a child is born
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i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone
damn son save some for the rest of us!!
#sci speaks#i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful.#oh the people with hyperactive hearts...#i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet.#holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on.#i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out.#is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet.#i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell.#so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them.#not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think.#i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way.#squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy.#i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either.#and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it.#lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want.#is love the answer?#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it.#i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out.#why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something.#i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy.#like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy.#is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think.#i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life.#i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but.#you can get money back. you can't get your time back.
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New toys ✨ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#I found a gift card that had been swallowed by my chair for the past ??months and so opted to get myself some new tools!#I've been wanting new erasers for sooooooo incredibly long now hwahh#I've been using stick erasers - the kind that you can kachunk out similar to a utility knife? Retractable like that - since high school#Even sharpening them to get a finer point - if you'll recall from my getting .3 drafting mechanical pencils I draw Very small lol#But they'd never stay sharp for long! And getting fine details had to fall on the editing side of things when I Wanted my paper to be clean!#So I finally bit the bullet and got myself some shiny news :D And then my laptop charger broke and I had to use the rest for that :/#But I still got the erasers so! I'll take it! Lol#And I do quite like them ♪ They still don't Quite beat out my current favourite brick eraser that I got I think two birthdays ago?#Or last Christmas? From my brother <3 Such a sweetheart ♥ It's been working Fantastically but it is - as stated - a brick#Fine details =/= brick#Which sucks Especially now because if you look at that second one - the examples - The Brick is an Excellent eraser!!#Leaves no scannable residue is Extremely clean and shiny! And it has a soft formula that is very friendly on the paper! I love it#If I could have a stick of That in my new mechanical guys I would in a heartbeat buuuut it's a different formula for stability :P#I get why but uughhhh#Not to say that the others are bad! There's also the learning curve element! Still getting used to them!#But you can probably guess that I doodled my positive reaction before scanning lol - it looks clean to the naked eye! Computers see more smh#I ended up with a multipack of all the same brand of erasers but in different shapes :) Two mechanical two bricks and one sharpenable#And one kneaded but those dry out so fast I tend not to use them lol#So far I have completely fallen for my sharpenable of all things haha ♪ It just has Such a fine point!! And a shavings brush on the end!#It's kind of silly with how long it is lol but I like it!#I think part of it Has been user error - I'm pretty sure I over-brushed some of my doodles which caused the graphite to rub off#Specifically into the supposed-to-be-white sections - if you remember the dream comic I made with Gaster and Papyrus you can imagine#Lots of residue that makes it a long edit :P The whole idea is to make editing easier by Not having lines or toning where it's not wanted!#Still a bit hit or miss but I'm Very willing to keep working with them haha - they make my page-eyes happy if nothing else#I feel like I can spend a bit more time on the drawing side of things - more willing to make it prettier before scanning :)#Which is what I want!! I want more time drawing and less time editing!! Even just proportionately#So I'm pleased overall ♪
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I've never heard of emts working only at events? What's that like for you if you don't mind my asking?
Yeah, there are ambulance companies that staff certain events, but there's some event specific companies out there lmao. For me specifically, it's almost entirely college events, whether it's happening on a campus or not. It's not great, usually pretty boring, but it's better than being on an ambulance or in a hospital. We do get actual emergencies sometimes, but usually it's just getting drunk people to the tent or giving out water and bandaids lmao. Again, boring as fuck, but I chose this over working on a 911 rig, so that's on me 😔 if I'm being so real tho, other than my coworkers, the best part of the job is the food lmaoooo it's so good and all the food trucks/food booths give discounts or free food to us depending on the location and event. And there's almost always a ton of downtime, so I basically just get paid to sit there and vibe for the most part
#not snz#when i say i love my job i mean i love very specific parts of it lmao#idk if I've said it here before or not and this is gonna sound so bad coming from someone working in healthcare#but i don't like patients lmao#i love the book stuff and i love everything in theory and i know how everything works and I'm very enthusiastic about it#but man do i not like patients ahskaksk#there are exceptions obviously but those are few and far between#it's why i love being an emt at my fire station bc we don't reslond to medical calls#like I've done medical calls there for the public but very rarely bc people either approach us or we stumble upon them#so i really only do my emt things on the people i know and i love that#i love my coworkers so I'm always happy to make sure they're okay and help them out when they're not#but i feel nothing for the public and i didn't realize i genuinely couldn't care less about them until i started doing my clinicals#it's just awkward and I'm not invested in them i just like figuring out what's wrong with them and interact with them as little as possible#again there are exceptions and i do like some of the patients but generally I'm just trying to hand them off asap#so yeah i do like working events bc the alternative is being confined to a tiny box or trapped in a hospital#i like being outside and being able to walk around the place and do things if i want to#and obviously i adore my partner#and even on the rare occasions i work with someone else all day i love my other coworkers too#and i mean yeah this might be more boring than working on an emergency rig However#it pays so much better#like why do y'all think my medic partner works there lmao he's actually good with patients and prefers the ambulance#but the pay in the field is shit so he gets paid way more working events than he would at the three letter company#insane actually that he makes over ten dollars more an hour working chill events than he would being overworked on a rig#anyway i digress#I'm looking into pathology assistant school rn bc there's like no patient interaction there but i still get to be nosy#so that's perfect for me lmao#everyone keeps saying i missed my calling as a vet tho like i don't cry when a dog dies in a movie lmao i wouldn't survive#working with animals would be amazing but the only thing that really gets you money is being a vet#so that can be a hobby
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