#I'm stupid and there's no fixing me

[nagalias-mindscape]

Friend: Remind me why we're doing this...

Me: Because I'm bored. And just a bit spiteful.

Friend: ... This is your house. We're breaking into your house. From the backyard. We both have keys to this place and go through the front door like normal people.

Me: Where's the fun in that?

Friend: How about not getting the police called on us?

Me: Eh, the neighbors know me. This isn't the weirdest shit they've seen me involved in. Or the strangest time, either.

Friend: Why are we friends, again?

[moonlightflower-queen]

"Okay, this is a meme redraw. It shouldn't take that long"

-Me 3 days ago

[black-and-yellow]

[cerealbishh]

"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)

[menlove]

since I'm not subjecting that blog's followers to this by submitting it as a request.......

would gay sex have fixed them?

[kingscourthouse]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if it works for you, don't let anyone shame you. Whatever it may be.

I've been shamed before because I have to microwave my drinks to make tea and coffee. I've boiled noodles in a rice cooker and someone just said to buy a pot. I only have 1 plate, 1 cup and 1 set of silverware for myself. I don't have a functional dishwasher. I've been shamed for using water for hot cocoa instead of milk when I couldn't afford it. I've had one pair of shoes for the past 7 years because they're not comepltley fallen apart yet.

Don't let someone shame you for the things that work for you. Don't let someone shame you for things that make you happy. They don't know your life.

Wheather you can't afford something, are homeless, just don't have the "normal" household items, the ability to get help, broken or worn down items, don't let anyone shame you for it.

If it's working for you, then it works. If it's not harming anyone, then it works. If you're still living your life finding ways around problems, then it works. You're making it work and that's all that matters.

Don't let anyone shame you for just trying to live.

[brown-little-robin]

I need to sleep for 70 hours and then maybe I'll feel not evil again

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Parallels: Tara and Kennedy standing up for Willow.

[romanticatheartt]

Antis: "Feyre destroyed Spring Court and now its citizens are homeless, while she has five mansions and Velaris has slums to be fixed."

My honest reaction: Please leave her alone...

🎀she's just a girl🎀

She's innocent your honor. Every girl deserve to destroy her ex's home once in her lifetime. IT'S HER RIGHT!!!!

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Aypierre just said his mods will ban any idiots in the chat being stupid about the QSMP situation, lmaooo. Absolutely based, get their asses.

[fooltofancy]

whyyyyy is my car payment coming through as like $700 instead of the normal $350 when i paid last month WHY

[jadeazora]

It's really funny to me how Lysandre, despite being my personal WORST villain from the games until Rose came along, has somehow ended up with one of the best villain arc chapters in Masters (imo) and generally feels better handled as a character overall there, the best villain team portrayal in the manga, and the best villain arc in the anime.

This guy be winning everywhere else at least.

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

me, hyped up about Star Trek Enterprise again after finishing my beloved season 3: I wonder if there are any posts about it on tumblr *searches*

me, twenty minutes later, closing the results: ah. I see. it has suffered from fandomification, where fans threw out canon and replaced it with fanon. one hundred and thirty seven polls asking "what was your first/favorite star trek" and it is at the bottom of every one. this between 14million other posts about every other star trek series. some funny memes thrown in for ~flavor~. great. wonderful. I'll just go back into my happy little corner with my parents who unironically enjoy the show with me then.

[piplupod]

feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

[graveyarrdshift]

*repeating over and over again while gripping the sink and staring into the mirror with tears in my eyes* I'LL BE FINE I'LL BE FINE I'LL BE FINE I'LL BE FINE I'LL BE-