#I'm sorry this was going to be a post about the first scene but it reminded me of nergissah's departure midways and I kinda lost the point
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rereading with the latest update to get caught up, and now I know its an option I am desperate for director's commentary on Ruins pt7, if you're willing, please
(Also I first started reading this before taking sign langauge classes, and while I am learning a different SL to ASL/whatever Slate is using, some things translate well. Which is to say I was very excited seeing Loft use thank you and other small signs, or recognising Slate's signs. Its very cool!)
OH AN OLDIE yeah sure!! i will do my best to remember wtf i was on about lol
first of all. this was posted in 2023. what do u mean it's 2025 and im only on ch2. explodes. ANYWAY.
I'm still proud of myself this this panel thing w the arrow lol where it's both coming towards the octorok and has already gone through it. this is something that didn't rlly end up making it into the final product but I don't think Slate actually makes a habit of just killing monsters willy nilly. I don't see him hunting down every monster in Hyrule after the calamity ends. He kills this octorok bc they antagonize the horses but also because. I needed an excuse for his bow to already be out HAHA
I have complicated feelings about the yiga and what their lore implies lol but for Slate's part, he has personal beef with them on account of how many times they're tried and nearly succeeded in killing him. I like to imagine the Yiga as both deeply goofy and also a serious threat at the same time lol, which i think sums up how Slate feels about them.
I did however want to take this opportunity to show his capacity to be a brutal fighter, the same way Loft is in the opening of ch1. Actually the idea for this scene even came about because in my own late-stage game I kept getting attacked by a blademaster literally every 2 feet in certain regions, and I was getting so frustrated by it I just started obliterating them with ancient arrows 💀 Slate using way more arrows than necessary was a nod to that. idk maybe this guy lived lol
this scene was also to spur comparisons between Slate and Loft's experiences. Loft is brutal with monsters, but he's never killed a human being. Realizing that the Yiga aren't monsters shocks him.
this is a failure of my own paneling bc I didn't have enough room on the page and refused to add another, but Loft is hallucinating this guardian being active. all the guardians are inactive since defeating the calamity. actually what I should have done was add a red targeting line that then disappeared in the next panel. MAN.
alright and probably what you actually wanted commentary on, first Champion sighting! The first time Slate actually sees Champion is at the end of ch1, so if you're wondering if Slate knows he's there in this scene, the answer is no. I think rather than following Slate around all along, Champion has spent most of his time just sort of. barely existing here at Fort Hateno, or sitting with the master sword. He's not exactly like the ghosts of the other champions, or King Rhoam. sorry buddy :-(
i do have a bonus comic the works re: ghost lore that I will hopefully finish. someday so I think that might answer some questions ppl have. and possibly introduce a few more. but on the whole I like to keep whatever's going on here a little ambiguous. like I said in this update's commentary, one part literal and one part metaphorical. maybe two parts metaphorical lol
I think that's all I got for this one!
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Sanji’s potential outfits for OPLA Season 2
So OPLA season 2 is gonna cover Loguetown, Reverse Mountain, Whiskey Peak, Little Garden, and Drum Island. In the manga, these arcs are Chapters 96-154.
Based on this info, I’ll try to compile the outfits from the manga and color walks that Sanji MIGHT wear. This post is just an assumption and NOT a confirmation.
Also, PLEASE feel free to comment on which arc he would wear some of the outfits below and feel free to add outfits that you think or hope to see him wear!
In Season 1, Sanji only wore 2 outfits
His iconic suit:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2198d7ff979d893ec67f5a11f299f21e/c48104f45c607abe-6e/s540x810/8ba1659dd9359f2d5dcadbb681c3fc110d643272.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b48ffb6ccd6e58277b4e00097104b53b/c48104f45c607abe-69/s540x810/639a5313fb2bc3f3e6b1fd6d5341b77857c92830.jpg)
And this chef uniform from Chapter 64:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/debddc5da7424a3ba1763c0ad6b8519e/c48104f45c607abe-de/s640x960/398c51b8b27440241344983df6aebb66e753a395.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/92694e0979cddc4af55fc76986dcb501/c48104f45c607abe-3b/s640x960/85af81938ad99bcf622c5e91442f2dd776964b97.jpg)
For Season 2, Netflix released a new first look of the Strawhats in Loguetown
And Sanji looks like he is wearing this outfit from Chapter 80:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9e8628a0dff36b2387b271e8bc407c37/c48104f45c607abe-9f/s640x960/081cca5d52a9ea433f080cd3a0590dadc3cfec90.jpg)
This chapter actually belongs in the Arlong Park arc.
This is just a thought and an assumption but I got a strong feeling that they MIGHT stick to Sanji’s more posh or prep looks from the Manga Chapter Covers, Colorspeads, and Color Walks. You know, the kind of outfits that a rich trust fund “my-dad-is-the-owner-of-a-global-conglomerate” baby might wear lmao. (I’m sorry I just have been rewatching the Succession these days lol)
They "might" also decide to let him wear black pants in all of his outfits because it will fit his image of “Blackleg Sanji” more down the line. I am just assuming! Please don't take this seriously.
In the Manga Chapter covers and Colorspreads, these are Sanji’s outfits that we MIGHT see him wear in the Live Action:
These are all from Chapters 90-160
From Volume 11 cover:
I know this was already worn by Taz in a promo pic for Season 1, but he could actually wear it in Season 2. Well I am hoping he would. Please costume department 🙏🙏🙏 Where he might wear this: Maybe Reverse Mountain?
From Chapter 100:
Where he might wear this: Maybe…either Reverse Mountain or Whiskey Peak. It could also be Little Garden but I think I prefer to see him in a suit for that call scene in Little Garden.
From Chapter 111:
For this outfit, I assume that they’ll change his pants to just have black long pants. But maybe they’ll surprise us. Where he might wear this: Mayyyybeee Whiskey Peak or Little Garden?
Chapter 133 and Volume 17 cover:
Where he might where this: In Drum Island for sure.
From Chapter 137:
I love the funky colors of this outfit! I am not really sure about this one. I was actually debating with myself on whether I should include this in the MIGHT BE outfits or in the OTHERS/NOT SO SURE outfits lol Where he might wear this: IDK lol
From Chapter 147:
Where he might wear this: Maybe Little Garden? Whiskey Peak?
Now, I'm gonna show you the outfits in Color Walks Volume 1 and 2, since these volumes cover Chapters 1 - 175. These color walks have several similar images in the manga so I'm gonna show you outfits that are not shown in the manga online.
In the Official One Piece Color Walks Volume 1 and 2, these are Sanji’s outfits that we MIGHT see him wear in the live action:
From Volume 1, Page 78:
Where he might wear this: In Little Garden. Please Showrunners and Costume Department 🙏🙏🙏
From Volume 2 Cover:
Where he might wear this: tbh, I am not sure lol. He might wear this in Season 3 maybe? I find this outfit really really cute!
I actually think the costume department might look at the other Color Walk Volumes for inspiration tho! But for now, I'll focus on Volume 1 and 2.
THIS IS A PERSONAL NEED BUT I WANT TO SEE SANJI WEAR THIS:
This is the original/concept design for Sanji and I really want to see him wear this in the Live Action, since we saw Nami wear her original design in Season 1. So there's a chance for this outfit! Where he might wear this: Maybe Whiskey Peak?
OTHERS/NOT SO SURE:
NOW I am going to show you OTHER Sanji outfits that he wore in Chapters 90-160 and in the Color Walks. These are outfits that I am NOT SURE that the costume department will pick for Taz Skylar to wear in the Live Action. I am choosing these outfits because they don't quite fit the posh or prep look for Sanji. But maybe the Live Action will surprise us!
NGL I love all of these outfits and would really love to see Live Action Sanji wear them!
From Chapter 107:
I actually want to see Sanji wear this! Its cool! Very 90s and early 2000s style
From Chapter 140:
I really can't figure this shirt out lol
From Chapter 128:
Not sure about this because we might see it but also not. It also looks very similar to Gin's jacket.
From Chapter 156:
I think he might actually wear this on the way to Alabasta! Its cute!
From Color Walk Volume 1 Cover:
I love this outfit lol But I am not really sure about it. NGL I almost forgot to include this outfit in this post.
From Color Walk Volume 2, Page 58(?):
Well...Yeah...I am definitely not confident in seeing this in Season 2 lol
So that's it for now! I can't wait to see Season 2 Photos, Teasers and Trailers! We will for sure get a glimpse of the outfits and I am truly looking forward to figuring out the Easter eggs!
Feel free to add outfits you want to see Sanji wear, and comment on which outfits you think Sanji is gonna wear in the arcs in Season 2. Or let me know if I forgot some outfits from Chapters 90-160 or in the Color Walks Volume 1 and 2.
#one piece live action#Sanji live action#Sanji#blackleg Sanji#one piece#taz skylar#one piece Netflix#opla#one piece outfits#sanji outfits#one piece season 2#opla season 2
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YOOOO I was the one who submitted a ro ask that said "wanna fuck Lincoln already haha." Literally after I did it, I went ahead and searched their name on the blog and saw your post about your pet peeves (particularly about irrelevant information about the ros and shit) and I WAS LIKE "DID I FUCK THIS UP???"
I WAS SO CONVINCED YOU AIN'T GONNA REPLY TO IT HAHAHA anyway keep up the good work 💋 tell Lincoln I'll be waiting for them because the NSFW Alphabet was something else. I don't usually see love interests as submissive as Lincoln and it pisses me off ngl (please don't be turned off 🫦) If you have IF recommendations with submissive ROs, dab me up author ^^ (proceeds to turn you off probably) (please don't) (no really sorry)
hahaha nooo you didn't fuck up anything, you're good xD and you're very much allowed to be horny for Lincoln, it's just that sometimes, people being super horny in my inbox makes me feel a certain way. I mean we all love erotica, I love it, too... Not afraid to admit that. But I've always viewed it as somewhat of the fast food of literature, when I'm over here going for a more nutritious meal. I probably sound super uppity right now but I don't know how else to say it. Also, I'm still a little bit afraid of actually writing and sharing a smut scene for the first time. Ah well.
I don't really have recs for sub ROs, but I think in Cyberpolice you can customize these things so maybe check that out, it's easier to find on the forum. But I do agree with you, there's never any sub ROs for some reason. Everyone's always so dominant imo.
(and don't worry about turning me off, I mean I'm interacting with you aren't I, and your asks gave me a good chuckle. Sure if I had to pick you up (I imagine you're hamster-sized, like all nonnies) I would put some rubber gloves on or sth. But I should do that anyways with every hamster bcs you never know. So it's by no fault of your own.)
Xx
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I'm sorry maybe I'm misinterpreting (please read to the end first) this but "a character did xyz because of the author" is the single laziest excuse for a characters actions
If the author writes them as problematic and abusive then that's what they are because she wrote them that way. If this was a once off then maybe but the authors intention changes nothing about the inherent character and their consistent actions
I mean if you want to go down that road then Amarantha isn't actually a sick evil bitch, she didn't have to do anything she did, SJM wrote her that way so that everyone would feel sorry for Rhysand, she's just a byproduct of that writing
If SJM wrote Rhysand parading Feyre around naked just to be sexy/horny then why did she write pages and pages of him fake apologizing afterwards? Why does she feel the need to use morally grey as an excuse for everything he does? Why does she have to blame Nesta or retcon to justify Cassians abuse? If she writes these scenes and actions and then feels the need to write a justification for it, she knows exactly what she's doing and she doesn't care and saying she doesn't intend it that way just seems to me like letting her get away with it
And don't get me wrong I understand the general concept of this post (again I could be misinterpreting), that SJM didn't actually write them to be bad people and I can agree to an extent since she clearly thinks the sun shines out of their asses, so maybe both things can be true but it is important to apply nuance when an author romanticizes abuse and assault and non consensual acts. And as I said, her intentions don't change the fact that they are inherently toxic and problematic. Saying it's just to be horny they're not actually bad people just provides another excuse for them, and SJM, to get a free pass
can i say something . can i be brave . a lot of y’all are trying to find endogenic reasons for characters in acotar doing things when the reason they did them was not because they are abusive / morally bad characters but because sjm wanted to make the books horny. did rhysand have to paint feyre and waltz her around the parties under the mountain basically naked? did he have to distract the hewn city by making feyre a pet and touching on her in front of everyone? no. sjm wrote it to be horny. did azriel need to be a cringecore emo fuck (affectionate) talmbout sad shower jerks and the cauldron giving him elain? no. sjm wrote it to lay the tension for being horny later. did cassian have to do anything he did in acosf? no. sjm wanted to be HORNY. all these things are shitty not great things for the characters to be doing, but the characters aren’t doing them because they’re inherently problematic; they’re doing them because the author wants to be horny, and they become problematic as a byproduct. there are plenty of actions and plots and decisions to be rightfully critical of in these books — trust me i want to 1v1 the inner circle in a pit — but some of the takes i’ve seen on this hellsite are trying to apply nuance to things done purely for the sake of being horny and it’s driving me crazy
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Re. your reaction video gifset: maybe it's just me, but it's not even fun anymore, it's just painful/frustrating. And while I'm glad the others did (eventually) speak up, I'd love it if in general we could move away from the idea that the only issue here is ppl criticising First (which tbh I haven't even seen), and not, you know, them fundamentally misunderstanding and consequently hating one of the show's core characters. If nothing else ppl should understand that, as an actor, the one responsible for conveying the truth of said character, that misunderstanding is gonna hurt him all the same.
i'm not an actor, so i don't know exactly how it must feel from the perspective of a performer, but as a viewer, i 100% agree with you when you say this isn't even funny or amusing at this point. first is a dear, he's very mindful, so i can't imagine him calling people out harshly for their misinterpretation of kant. he just looks sad when he talks about it now. first is someone who puts a lot of work on the characters he plays, he tries understanding them, and playing them respectfully, so i can only imagine how frustrating it is that people hate on kant without putting thought into why he did the things he did.
and let's be clear, this is not on first even though i haven't been as lucky as you anon, and have seen people being nasty towards him as if he's the character and not first. fandom created such a bias and made kant their villain because apparently focusing on the guy who has no other options since he's being blackmailed is easier than seeing the real problem aka christ, police captain, who brushes shit under the rug and get civilians to do his dirty work instead of doing the work himself.
first in a phenomenal actor. he expresses all the things he needs to express, either with words or looks or actions. maybe if people who complain about kant or kantbison actually watched the show and their scenes, they wouldn't fail to understand his character and need to create wild lies to make their pettiness sound like is grounded.
#bibs ask#Anonymous#firstkhao#first kanaphan#the heart killers#th: the heart killers#it baffles me truly infuriates me that people look at the bowling scene and go yeah look at him wanting to get into bison's pants#LIKE ARE YOU WATCHING? OR YOUR BRAIN IS TOO WITHERED FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND?#yes i'm still pissed about the gagaoolala post#tldr ig is people aren't hating on first/kant because first isn't doing a good job portraying him but because they are so fucking stupid#and they don't watch the show as they should#or if they do they watch while looking at their phones when their favorite character isn't on screen#i would genuinely feel ashamed if i was midway a show and still didn't understand the characters i'm watching#like people wanting kant to be devil incarnate and style the saint of the saints#when we've said time and time again all of this characters are grey characters with dubious morals#i'm sorry for the rant i realized i had a lot more i wanted to say
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selected moments (mostly gay or countess almaviva or both) from barrie kosky's 2023 production of le nozze di figaro at the wiener staatsoper
#hello i saw this production in vienna a few months ago and became mildly deranged about it#and there is so little on it online so i decided to take matters into my own hands#barrie kosky i have to say you ate with this. i gather his productions aren't always recommended for first-time operagoers#but as a first-time operagoer it rotted my brain with a swiftness so hats off#i don't think i need to spell out that i'm in love with countess almaviva. i think the gifs speak for themselves#also it's not really a gifable moment but when i saw this a detail i LOVED was that when she's introduced#the countess is posing motionless staring into the mirror while her entire ornate room physically moves forward#similarly at the end of another scene she sits motionless and stares out into the audience as the room moves backwards#and the lights go down#tragic woman horribly aware of her fate trapped in a golden cage <333#cherubino outta my way gayboy etc etc#i have to say hanna-elisabeth müller is extremely good at anguished staring into space hahahahaha#anyway yes these kinda look like ass because i don't know how to make or compress gifs properly#and i refuse to download photoshop for fear my laptop would not be able to hack it#it's me and ezgif.com against the world#luckily this post is largely for an audience of me anyway LMAO#sorry about the subtitles btw there is unfortunately no clean version#opera#le nozze di figaro#the marriage of figaro
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every time i see someone make the "trapper didn't leave a note" argument i lose 5 years off my life fr
#you people are willfully misinterpreting that scene to make your ship look better and it's so obvious#HAWKEYE IS THE ONE WHO WAS LATE#radar could not have been clearer that trapper waited until the last possible second#what the fuck was he supposed to do; not go home????#if he was waiting for hawkeye so he could say goodbye in person and hawk didn't show up i'm sorry but that is simply not on trapper#and you're doing both of their characters a huge disservice by taking it that way#and that's not even bringing up the kiss#that doesn't scream 'he never cared about hawkeye in the first place' which is how i see people talk about that scene constantly#do i think hawkeye has 0 right to be upset? no!#but trapper isn't evil for wanting to go home to his wife and children you dense motherfuckers that's what the whole show is about#tumblr users love to find a guy they already don't like and reverse engineer reasons that they're actually morally superior for it#sorry i don't usually get Confrontational on here but i'm so goddamn tired of this#mash#my posts
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"I think ultimately our difference is that you're approaching your critique from the perspective of "here's what the writers should have done in order to more effectively tell the story they wanted to tell" and I'm more going at it from an angle of "here's the story I wanted them to tell"."
You definitely hit the nail on the head haha. I hadn't really noticed that until you pointed it out, but now that you have it's obvious.
I hadn't really considered talking about the show in terms of "what I would have wanted". I think about my issues with stories in a way that's centered around improving/maximizing the impact of what we have because I can't go back and completely change it to fit my expectations. I hadn't really considered thinking of what-ifs. So I think the way you've approached our conversation is interesting!
I was definitely looking at your point about Vi's role in the final battle through the lens you accurately pointed out and it caused me to misinterpret the intent behind your viewpoint that Vi not doing anything isn't inherently a problem and could instead represent an (incredibly interesting!) commentary on the fact that a truly kindhearted person can't change a broken system. My perspective caused me to look at it from a different angle than you intended and looking back with that in mind a few of my points sound a bit nitpicky over semantics and that was not my intention at all. I hope none of my counterpoints came across as confrontational. Sorry if they did!
I want to address your point about the final battle first since I think it's really interesting. I will admit I saw the writing on the wall as someone who knew league lore and saw the trailers for the season that Viktor and the arcane were going to be the big bad of the season, so I wasn't caught off guard. However, I was still disappointed with what was sacrificed to get there, especially in hindsight, and I completely understand your point that the show shouldn't have ended in a big final battle of good vs evil and I agree. The show that was presented to us in the first season and even the first 2 acts of season 2 didn't effectively build to that.
I would like to hear what you would have wanted the final episodes/act to be about instead. (I'm going to guess the civil war between Zaun and Piltover, but I would definitely be interested to hear your full thoughts)
Quick question: What other issues did you have that we haven't talked about?
I also want to say I would love to read a fanfic centered around the idea of committing to Caitlyn's villain arc. That would be fascinating. Please let me know if you ever decide to post it! I mean this completely genuinely. I would be excited to read it.
(sorry for the quality and text over the photo, but I couldn't find the original moment in the videos while scrubbing through so I had to resort to Google Images haha)
The scene where Caitlyn has a breakdown is one of the many season 2 scenes accidentally shown in the Bridging the Rift behind-the-scenes documentary. Caitlyn's in her enforcer attire (because of her hair it's probably after she takes the role of commander), alone, and you can see her go from collected to crying. So it's not a full scene that's been released (I hope it will be on the season 2 DVD release though!). They started animating it but it ended up on the cutting room floor.
On the topic of Caitlyn, I completely agree with the points you made. they had 2 set paths they could have taken Caitlyn and they didn't fully commit to either one, which hurt her character.
I kind of feel like the writers wrote themselves into a corner with her. They gave her this complex and interesting arc that fundamentally puts her at odds with Vi and yet they still had to/wanted to make them endgame, something they have been very vocal about being the plan since day 1. With that in mind due to the time constraints, they couldn't go all in on her dictator arc and relegated the worst of it to the "Paint the Town Blue" montage (seriously I've rewatched it multiple times and Caitlyn is painted very villainously in it) and had to immediately course correct at the beginning of act 2.
The problem is the fact that they didn't commit enough to it and I think it's partially because they didn't want us to hate Caitlyn, so they didn't show her committing her worst acts and actively went out of their way to show the ways in which she's "better" than the previous sheriff (forbidding the use of the dungeons Vi was in, forcing the stillwater guards to keep meticulous paperwork, having her be vocally against arrests without cause, giving prisoners better meals, etc) which ultimately backfired because this middle ground simply didn't work.
I guess this is where I have to finally talk about Caitlyn and Vi, which I have been avoiding purely because it's such a volatile topic online, but on a personal level I don't think they work with the way they played out after Caitlyn's descent into fascism within the show. There were ways they could have made them work, but the way they went about it brushed most of what happened in season 2 under the rug and they get together almost immediately after Caitlyn's turn.
And I don't hate them. I loved them in season 1 as individual characters and their relationship and I liked the idea the ship initially presented with the two of them being a bridge between the cities. But when they got together in act 3 I was left with the question "Why do these two characters still love each other?" and I think that's my biggest problem. (I completely acknowledge this could be my own views)
Or more accurately, since I think Caitlyn still having feelings for Vi is significantly easier to understand, my main question was "Why does Vi still love Caitlyn other than the fact that once Vi starts loving someone she can't stop?"
Vi falls for Caitlyn in season 1 because Caitlyn chose to fight for her and the undercity. She didn’t have to fight— she had nothing to gain, nothing to lose if she didn't fight like everyone in the undercity— and yet she chose to fight anyway.
Caitlyn was genuine in her desire to help and fight against a system she learned through her connection to Vi has oppressed the people of the undercity. She also sees what Vi believes is the worst of her during the bedroom scene and still reaches for Vi anyway, giving her empathy and grace that has never been afforded to her before.
But then all of that crumbles in season 2. Caitlyn becomes the worst version of herself out of grief and the sudden immense responsibility thrust upon her shoulders and actively becomes the face of the oppression Vi and her people face. Caitlyn no longer wants to fight corruption and actively participates in it. Gone is the empathy and understanding of season 1. Gone is that desire to fight for Vi and the undercity that made her fall in love in the first place.
That idea in and of itself wouldn't be an issue. It's actually very compelling. Vi truly thought Caitlyn was different, but now she's everything Vi initially believed she was. Presenting this conflict and forcing the characters to confront these opposing parts of themselves and grow back together had the potential to lead to a powerful and heart-wrenching storyline.
In the wake of this conflict we're left with the question I initially presented: why does Vi still love Caitlyn other than the fact that once Vi starts loving someone she can't stop? Plus the question: how can these two characters grow back together after all of this?
And the show really doesn't want to acknowledge the first question and it simply speeds by the second.
And I'm not saying this to be harsh. I feel like these questions needed to be answered because they're problems the show presents.
The biggest problem for me is that it felt like the show was tiptoeing around the fact that Caitlyn was a dictator so it didn't have to answer these questions. The biggest example of this is that we weren't given Vi's feelings on Caitlyn’s role as the commander, the checkpoints, the detainments that lack adequate cause, and the brutality and oppression disguised behind a thin veneer of justice.
We only really get insight on her guilt over it all in the montage at the start of episode 5. She feels responsible for what Caitlyn has become because she failed to protect her and for being a part of the start of something that turned into an oppressive occupation of her people.
Even when she's with Caitlyn again and yells at her in act 3 it's about Caitlyn listening to and actively participating in Ambessa's violence. Again it's framed around Ambessa rather than her actions towards Zaun or Vi.
I feel like this is making it seem like I hate them or hated that they got together and I don't want it to seem that way. I wanted to be able to buy into this romance. I adored them after season 1. I was just personally so confused by the lack of exploration on what should be a massive roadblock to their relationship.
And I do genuinely like the scene where they get together in a vacuum (even if I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about sex scenes because I'm very aroace haha). The little nuances that people keep pointing out are incredibly impressive and every time I see that gif of Caitlyn looking at Vi's injury with so much softness and regret I completely buy that Caitlyn loves Vi. In a vacuum, the scene does sell that they care about each other. It's what builds up to it that I have a problem with. (That and the context of the scene. The way Jinx left Vi makes it so it doesn't make sense to me that Vi wouldn't immediately storm off to find her.)
I just genuinely believe they needed to slow down and have them grow back together instead of getting back together immediately after reuniting or at the very least explore their individual feelings on the other while separated. This way they could show Caitlyn earning back Vi's trust or give us more context for their reconciliation. But I also understand they didn't have the time. I think they were between a rock and hard place: rush Caitlyn and Vi together or end the series with them starting to grow back together and get a ton of backlash for promising a ship they didn't end up committing to (they did so many interviews about caitvi after season 1).
Oof. I think I might get murdered for that take. The discourse around Caitlyn and Vi's relationship is very heated and I understand that my views are my own. I'm not going to go on a tirade that people should love or hate this ship. How people feel about it is valid. I'm not in the business of telling people how to feel.
I know you've alluded to your feelings about the relationship, but if you're willing to share your full thoughts I would be willing to listen. If you think I'm way off the mark let me know! I really enjoy this back-and-forth.
youtube
I actually think this video is really interesting. Not because I fully agree with it (there are a lot of points in the video I don't agree with and a lot that I do), but because I appreciate its intent.
I also fall in the same boat where I really liked the second season, but I didn't love it like I did the first and I appreciate that this is a video that wants to start a conversation. He wants to talk about why things didn't necessarily work for him, why it didn't seem to have the same impact as the first, and about how he wants to hear why those things might have worked for others.
So much discourse about this season has framed it as either the best thing ever, above any criticism, or the worst thing ever with no redeeming qualities and it's made it very frustrating and demoralizing to try and talk about it online.
I want to talk about how I loved aspects of this show and that I was also let down by certain aspects of the show as well, but anytime I try and talk about criticism it's rarely met with a genuine conversation.
I would love to hear how people interpreted things differently from me, why they felt that way, how it connected with them, because I feel like that's the purpose of stories. It's never going to resonate with anyone the same way and there may have been things I missed.
I also know I haven't always worded what I've wanted to say and my criticisms the way I want to get across what I mean. It has never been my intent to sound like I wasn't open to discussion, different interpretations, or counterpoints. I would like to actually talk more about this season and hear other people's thoughts as well.
#oops I wrote another essay#I feel a bit bad about this one#because a big chunk of it is about a relationship I loved in season 1#and didn't think worked as well in season 2#trust me I do love Caitlyn#outside of act 1 though#her writing just didn't work for me#I really love hearing your thoughts
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Mahi thinking about how forming a family outside the palace would be :c and Gulsah not being capable of letting go💔. They hsve been together for 10 years after all, she doesn't know better than serving her, Mahidevran IS her family as much as Suleyman and the rest is it for Mahi, and so that's why both master and servant were ready to do anything to keep their beloved ones, which only turned to divide them even more after their actions threatened not only a rival, but also the familiar in question (Mahi putting poison on Suleyman's table, Gulsah risking Mahidevran's position by attacking Gulnihal). The two of them also overstep their respective positions by doing so. Mahidevran, a concubine, requires from Suleyman the loyalty he should have for a wife, Gulsah wants to be valuable for Mahi but also to make decisions for both or them, equaling her humilliation to her sultana's when she's just her servant (maybe she also sees herself as Mahidevran's wife 👀, this dialogue is kind of confirming that atp she can't see herself as someone else's soo). And Mustafa works as some type of union between both Suly-Mahi & Mahi-Gulsah, ofc he's an stronger one for the first pair, he's their son, but I think his care for Gulsah recovering may also have influenced Mahidevran giving her other chance, she's been shown to be a second (or third, shall we make ibro and gulsah compete for the role?) mother for him after all, in certain way that makes all of them family too.
There's also the fact that Gulsah is someone her sultana can rely on, the only one that she could truly trust for so many time, she knows every little facet of hers and I think in a palace where you have to always put a facade on, it must be a relief. That's why this just comes as a sincere wish from Mahidevran (in contrast to later, when she just wants to get rid of her servant by marrying her off), for Gulsah to escape what she can't, and it parallels her letting go off Nergissah, only that this time she accepts Gulsah's useful loyalty and keeps her at her service, while in s4 she reachs that selfless stage for which she can actually send her closest ones away. Same that she wanted to do to the only one that serves her at that point, Fidan, even if the later refuses (and Fidan is another old woman so there's not many chances for her, similar to Sumbul/Hurrem but even w less posibilities since she's as poor as Mahi). But what both scenes share is Mahidevran's idea of family as a salvation from sorrow, a new start that she can't give to neither Gulsah or Nergissah and Fidan.
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During e25 Mahi herself is trapped in a situation she can't do much against, only staying patient untill she explodes later in the season, while, after Mustafa's death, she's already experienced the happiness of the new start of a family, her granddaughter being all it's left from it... An orphan, in the "spring of her youth", sent to an unknown powerful future husband, whose child she could name Mustafa. It is a little similar to Mahidevran's own story, to the untold part of it and what we know of her before Suleyman's accession to the throne, that she took refuge in his love, they became a family, possibly the reason for her to begin again and never mention her past out loud (and seemingly not even remembering it). And with a new family it comes a new identity, makes a lot of sense Nur refers to Suleyman as a paternal figure for Mahidevran, he's the patriarch of the new household she goes to after all, he gives her life a new meaning, she's his "spring rose"/gulbahar and everything she does has to please him (he even says he's "proud" of her when she gives birth to Mustafa). It caught my attention that, as much as she takes on a maternal role during all of Nergissah's life, she also shows a little bit of that side to Gulsah here, who also shapes her identity in relation to Mahi, dedicating her life to make her happy and proud (and, like Plami pointed out here, Gulsah's name meaning forecasts her ambition for more while ties her all the most to her master). For both women, the struggle is they can't make more mistakes since the families they belong to could discard them (Mahi can send Gulsah outside, she sent her to Edirne once, same place Suleyman warns he could exile his haseki to in e23) but can't truly adapt to the new situation either, what they consider their home it's very unstable and it's doomed to break. As a result, Gulsah will eventually change sides and Mahidevran will redirect her efforts to Mustafa, they're going to become traitors, with the difference Mahi will have the opportunity to begin again far from Topkapi, to form another family with her son, even if once again it will prove to be unstable (tho this time not for internal factors between them, but for external ones).
In certain way, Mahidevran is a nomad through all the series, from an unknown place in the past before she was an slave, to wherever she may have gone to be educated, to Manisa's palace, to Topkapi, to Edirne, Topkapi again, Manisa again, to Amasya and later Bursa. And what's important about that for this post is that everytime she tasted the peace and happiness of family she had to lose it, being it via Suleyman falling out of love with her, the sudden deaths of baby Suleyman, Fatma hatun & Ibrahim pasha or by how the Amasya fam was murdered. She could never rely on the security and the simpleness of the family lives she describes to Gulsah and Nergissah. By the end of the show Mahidevran is symbolically an orphan not only of the parents we don't know, also of the men that gave different meanings to her life inside the system, Suleyman and Mustafa. Still, a little bit of her hope survives with Nergissah escaping this life full of suffering and I find it poetic and very telling that, while we see the damage the succession wars are bringing and Suleyman's obsession for loyalty, Mahi is ready to give up all she has (even if little, but she transfers the servants that remain with her to her granddaughter) for Nergissah to find peace in a new home.
#I'm sorry this was going to be a post about the first scene but it reminded me of nergissah's departure midways and I kinda lost the point#also my references to the rest of gulsah's story are very vague because I have never rewatched her scenes. I didn't value her enough💔#so yes I can always come back to rectify/add something as I watch#also I think memory is also an interesting theme here. how mahidevran wants for negissah to remember her father through a future son#and how mahi doesn't seem to remember where she truly came from. sorry for overusing the word but it's also a subversive decision#overthinking it but it feels like she's indicating the possibility of those that 'won't be in the pages of history' to be remembered#again crossing the lines of sultanate. not even caring for it. only for her granddaughter to live#I like the cycling aspect of everything. how nergissah is another spring girlie [and nergis means daffodil. so here's another flower name]#that may break the cycle this time#while the ottoman dynasty it's just repeating it x53367 jqlql#mahidevran sultan#gulsah hatun#nergissah sultan#magnificent century#muhtesem yuzyil#rewatching mc
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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Another thing which is really stupid is how people tend to stop reading once they're on writing spree. I'm sorry but for being a writer you must be a reader first. It's basic criteria at this point.
It's not about telling a story but more like, narrating the events. There's a lot more going than words being put together and making sense, because anything can make sense that way.
There's alot more, for prose and sentence construction and rhythm and context.
The best way to start writing is channeling which is what the op's post focused upon, it's more based on the practice which is to draw from your experiences and blend it through the narrative. If I come from an abusive family then I can very easily mold my character's state for being through the same, and so on.
The next step is good grammar and vocab. And remember kids — hard words aren't good words. There can be alternatives for the same word and if you think picking the hard, big word which is quite a mouthful will make it hit harder WRONG. I have seen it so many times where the sentence is nothing but a Victorian translation of words. Having a simpler vocabulary isn't bad as it is made it out to be. So please choose the word which makes more sense to you.
For this, always speak out aloud and feel what really settles more.
Next could be the course of vivid sense of colour and senses and smell. It's a good story if your dialogue flow outwardly and right, but having to construct a scene is another task one must focus on as an amateur writer.
Here again, channelise. Sure the metaphors you have read will come along and help you out but the real deal is observing things around yourself and then the art to make it about the narrative. I like how bees buzz and so it's how i often use it for describing a crowd of people, or pacing about some bad event, etc. The point is, draw out your own metaphors, and which is where you must start observing how things happen, and how they work.
Next is, well ofcourse the sentence structure. This sentence is boring. It will be boring. Nothing would change that. Because there's no solution. Bloody four words sentence.
Notice how it becomes a pattern ?
Have variations, you must've gotten this one before and listen again, flow it out. Again, say it out loud and feel it's flow, does it feel good ? That's it.
The same goes for your paras. Flow it out as well and make out a rhythm for your context.
Another wonderful advice is to use contrast description. If the moon is gleaming then make sure the sky is midnight blue so it stands out. To sum it up simply, if you want something to stand out then you must surround it with other contrasting shade so it does it for you. Let's say your character is quiet and lost in their own thoughts, then having something noisy electric around them which is the only source of lurching.
Also there's drafting of paras, and you can dive into it like essays. Introduction then main body then ending or conclusion. Here is where show don't tell comes first, if it's your characters childhood in question then start with a memory, introduce that era with candy or balloon or whatever, and then the main body — the actual horrid or lovely or nostalgic memory, use elements now. Tears, sweat, trembling lips, crinkling eyes, red nose. SHOW DON'T TELL. It's quite simple, unpacking and boom. Then you write the ending of it, which could be a change, in feeling or perspective, anything really.
Lastly, there are no rules for writing. Do what you feel like doing and write what you feel like writing.
Just read someone say that "write what you know" is "obviously terrible advice." Obviously...you all don't know what "write what you know" means.
This writing advice does NOT mean "write only what you've experienced," or else we wouldn't have fiction. Really, it could be extended to "write what you know...based on your experiences." You need to have empathy with your story and characters.
I may not be a princess being betrayed by her knight, but my life has been shaken by people who I thought were my friends. I may not be a ghost, but I've suddenly lost contact/connection with those dear to me. I may not be a murderer cleaning up my crime scene, but I know the anxious pangs of scrambling to hide something + what it's like scrubbing up blood at 2:00 a.m. It's not to say that I know exactly what these experiences are like, but I can draw upon similar experiences to make my writing more realistic.
"Write what you know" is also a challenge to research. Want to write about a character who is poisoned? Never been poisoned before? Don't guess or make assumptions, research. Know what you're writing, and you'll be more convincing. Write what you know, and your work will come alive.
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i just want to shout out texas!michael and outlaw!ty for singlehandedly almost saving the timeline and then making it 10x worse and then dying technically because no one knows they even exist to bring them back. like ik realistically they are NEVER coming back but that doesn't stop them from being my favourite woe.begone duo ever
#but this is w.bg they could totally still be in texas i mean technically outlaw!ty shouldnt have been affected by the correction at all#+ the post credits scene in like episode 113 of jam saying outlaw ty outlaw ty hiding out and scraping by#the EXACT words that ty said to texas michael so like.#what was that about#sorry i just really liked season 9 i'm still not over it#i've barely processed the fact that the timeline was always on track and that the hunters correction was necessary to start their feud in-#the first place#and that there's a low chance of more eagle content#i'm still hung up on sly and marissa being friends#and boris and marissa too#and the development with chance and shadow's relationship i cant#i've made a polycule chart too becaus e like. mikey going crying to matt's house is kinda. yknow#woe.begone spoilers#it's funny how i went from ugh i cant stand ty to him being my favourite character LIKE#ALSO DID JAM SAYING HJH 11 TIMES IN THE THE EPISODE 111 POST CREDIT MEAN ANYTHING#DYLAN PLEASE GIVE ME ANSWERS/j#we were FED thought with tyedgar conversation#woe.begone#w.bg#w.bg spoilers#mike walters best girl#the return of the latvia crew makes me so happy dhjfhjfgj#and og michael!!
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honestly whatever nat and marián have going on in book two is ten times h*rnier than whatever nat and quinn have going on in book two at the moment and I should probably change that but whatever
#when nat realises he can technically feed from ppl without killing them it opens up some new options for him#but if ur gonna try and do it consensually the best way to up your chances of getting a ''yeah sure go ahead'' is#to maybe hook up w some ppl who have raging vampire kinks#enter marián and millie#the first time they uhhh Hang Out is basically just them getting each other off while Nat bites them and drinks n then#he's just kind of like Ok Cool that was all I'm here for you can kick me out now if u want but they both just#go to town on him lmao#it's what he deserves#idk if I'm gonna actually write it bc uggghhh sexy scenes hard but it's dumb and fun to think about#anyway. sorry for h*rny posting LMAO
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i gotta say 99% of the time i'm like be cringe be free but. not when it's on my fyp and i have to look directly at it
#avery.txt#i block so many ppl now bc i just. did we watch the same show??????????#like ok i just. i'm sorry but spn is not a gay show. like i keep seeing this post that calls it a gay show and What Are You Talking About.#lord knows i headcanon most of those people as queer (or at least entertain the idea of them being queer) but like. come on#someone described the show as 'written by white liberals with conservative trappings' and yeah. that.#there are definitely scenes that can be (easily!) interpreted as being queer-ish and i definitely do that! but like. man.#i just remember when i first started watching kinda going into with an idea of it solely based on tumblr and i was WRONG.#it is BETTER THAN THAT. it's not a masterpiece by any means. but it is so much more interesting than i was led to believe from my exposure#*to it when i was a teenager. and tbh i'm glad i actually saw the show now bc as insufferable as i am about it i would've been so much wors#*if i had watched it when i was 15. carrie anne and i have discussed this lmao
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hey i'm back to be annoying about sensei fic i don't remember if you've talked about that before (i think you did), and also i'm afraid that it may be considered as a spoiler (?), but! how much of amasawa and itokura's story will you include here? (they are very important to me, your honour) (the potential of parallels to kwgm is here as well and everything)
never annoying! I’m enjoying writing my paragraphs of rambling, so thank you more under the cut again lol. spoilers for lost judgment and also my own fic i suppose lmao
this is kind of difficult to answer because I don’t want to overpromise anything… I am unfortunately a “fuck it we ball” writer which means I am not really used to planning anything at all really (which is why I write mostly oneshots. I usually write everything blind) and that means that while I have ideas about what I want to do, I can’t really say anything definitive until I feel out my plans more concretely…
for what it’s worth though, I’d be shocked if amasawa and itokura didn’t appear the most out of everyone (aside from yagami and kitakata), since the mrc is effectively the centrepiece of both plots: being the main reason kitakata and yagami see each other, and of course I’m going to try and make an altered version of the school story plot work here. I expect there’ll be more of them than kaito and sawa, certainly…
one of the planned major beats in the kuwagami plot is having yagami actually let kitakata in on the professor investigation and not just blow him off. he might think that kitakata will just get in the way, but he has to accept that kitakata’s interest in the investigation and care for his students is legitimate and valid! keeping him in the dark and ignoring how he feels is wrong! anyway. my point is, that to resolve this plot beat, it’s unavoidable to talk about itokura and the professor, so no matter how I end up getting there, itokura (and by extension amasawa) are going to be crucial. you’re right about the parallels angle too… gonna gnaw on that… gotta figure that out… kuwagami but if they were both girls and in highschool and more emotionally intelligent… the idea of kitakata and yagami being a mess and super lame while the kids in the club are much more put together? it’s just too funny to pass up on… I can already imagine itokura complaining to amasawa about how she wishes they would just grow up already.
amasawa and itokura are really great and I also like them a lot! there’s a lot of interesting stuff with them to grab onto, both with canon – yagami’s relationship to them both, and with new stuff – inventing new stuff for them with kitakata! itokura and kitakata especially feel like a surprisingly natural fit – kitakata who wants to make sure no student around him feels the way that kusumoto mitsuru did, and itokura who was estranged and pushed out of school by her peers… it’s a relationship that would be engaging and interesting to develop on both sides… I really can’t pass up on that… so thematically rich… I imagine their relationship rn as being kind of awkward and a little tense. they probably get along best when they’re talking (cough arguing cough) about mystery novels.
one of the things on my to-do list for sensei fic right now (aside from taking thorough notes on school stories and general editing) is definitely trying to feel out this relationship, in particular before yagami enters the picture (@/four-white-trees poked me about this ages ago. thank you!!) presumably kitakata doesn’t let all of that happen to itokura without trying to do something about it, right? and yet, he still fails. yagami’s intervention is the one that brings itokura back to school. hence why I imagine things between them being a little awkward… that shared history…
though I imagine that it piques kitakata’s interest that yagami succeeded where he’d previously failed. So yknow. This Too Is Kuwagami. A surefire way to make kitakata fall in love with you: 1. be hot 2. legitimately care about and take action for the wellbeing of students
anyway! while nothing is set in stone, that’s what I have in mind about amasawa and itokura right now… though most of it ended up being about itokura… there’s still a lot I gotta figure out, but I’m definitely looking forward to poking at them some more! Itokura’s attitude is going to be a lot of fun to write, and amasawa is always a delight, and I love having her be the voice of reason between kitakata and yagami when they’re being ridiculous lol. thank you for the ask o7
#kitakata sensei#lost judgment spoilers#jitxt#(flex and herds fan voice) yeah i'm a pantser#<- jokes for exactly one person#anyway.#sorry it's physically impossible for me to talk about senseific and keep it short#but yeah. i love the girls too <3#kuwagami is always going to be the stuff i'm most excited about in this fic but. amasawa and itokura are also really great#and i hope i can write that side of the story well enough to do them justice#praying rn that this doesn't age like milk#like i've mentioned/alluded to. senseific is my first big piece of writing so#it's both exciting and a learning experience#that's also why i can't post any of it until ALL OF IT is done#I LOVE KUWAGAMI I LOVE SENSEI FIC GRAAAAAAAH#even if i don't have much set in stone the ideas are definitely there#amasawa telling yagami to let kitakata help with One thing in the investigation and on the inside yagami feels betrayed. lol#<- that one's not an idea that one's locked in and written into a scene already actually
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Had a facepalm moment earlier of discovering the brilliant fic you wrote for someone’s Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan prompt and hoping you’d write more, and then…several days later…realizing…PROMPTS. That’s how this works. Anyway, can’t believe I didn’t send you one earlier, but: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan for "I missed you”, if you’re up for it?
Let Me Count the Ways ask game
It had been a long, exhausting day, but Obi-Wan didn't feel tired in the least. Packing up all of his belongings (few as they were) and moving them across the Dune Sea would have been a tiring endeavor, even if he hadn't just come from a harrowing trip halfway across the galaxy. And then, of course, there was a new cave to find, preliminary preparations to be made before nightfall in order to make his new home habitable...but none of that mattered.
Wrapping his cloak around himself against the chill of the desert night, Obi-Wan sat on the shelf of rock where he'd placed his bedroll. He pulled his legs up onto the blanket, closed his eyes, and opened himself to the Force.
Warmth and light that had nothing to do with his small heating unit suffused him from the inside out. For a moment, he hesitated. Then he reached out tentatively and murmured, “Master Qui-Gon?”
“Obi-Wan.”
His eyes popped open, and there, sitting beside him on the rock as if he'd been there the whole time, was Qui-Gon. Translucent and tinged blue—like a hologram and yet not—Qui-Gon looked the same as he had the day he'd died. The same twinkle in his eyes, the same hint of humor lingering in the creases at the corners of his eyes, in the twitch of his beard, in the lilt of his voice....
“You're here,” was all Obi-Wan could think to say.
Qui-Gon nodded patiently. “So I am.”
“I missed you.” Unbidden, tears welled up in his eyes. “I missed you so much, Qui-Gon.”
Qui-Gon's eyebrows knitted together with a look of sympathy. “I know.”
If he'd been here physically, he would have reached out and placed a reassuring hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Now, he didn't move, but Obi-Wan felt a gentle ripple in the Force washing over him, warm and familiar. Obi-Wan closed his eyes to savor that feeling, something he hadn't experienced in so long.
How many times a day would Obi-Wan feel that presence brush against his, like the touch of a hand? Checking to see where the other was, reassurance in a moment of trouble, a brief reminder or admonishment that needed no words. As unique and unmistakable as a voice, as a fingerprint forever marked in his soul.
And yet, for some twenty-odd years, he hadn't felt Qui-Gon's presence even once.
When Obi-Wan opened his eyes, he felt like a boy again. Like that twelve-year-old boy who had just become a Padawan and wondered if he would ever truly please his Master.
“I needed you,” he whispered, the desperation in his own voice surprising him. “I called to you, again and again. Where were you?”
Qui-Gon's eyes were as kind as ever as he folded his arms inside the voluminous sleeves of his robe. “Tell me, Padawan: What happens to us when we die?”
Now he really did feel like a boy again. This was a question even the youngest of younglings could answer. “We become one with the Force.”
Qui-Gon nodded, as though that settled the matter.
It didn't take a genius to understand what Qui-Gon was getting at. The dead became one with the Force, and the Force was a Jedi's constant companion. In a way, Qui-Gon had never really left.
And yet, Obi-Wan still couldn't shake the feeling of abandonment. He dropped his gaze to his hands clasped in his lap. “There have been so many times I needed your guidance, Master,” he whispered. “And never, not once, did I hear your voice.”
“And were you listening?” Qui-Gon's voice was gentle, oh so gentle, but still it made shame swirl in Obi-Wan's gut.
Because he hadn't been listening. He had closed himself off from the Force for so long, terrified of being found out, of being hunted down, of unintentionally betraying Luke to those who would kill him in an instant. And if he didn't leave even the slightest crack open for the Force to seep through, that meant Qui-Gon couldn't reach him either.
He really was like a child. A child with his fingers in his ears, demanding to know why no one would talk to him.
A warm brush of the Force, like a consoling hand placed on his back. Qui-Gon didn't even have to say anything, because he had already said it a thousand times, in a thousand situations over the years they'd worked together. Accept the shame, then let it go. You are not your mistakes. Learn from them, and they will help you grow.
Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan envisioned his lungs filling with stale air from the years he had languished here on Tatooine. The years he had let the burden of his guilt press down on his shoulders till he could hardly raise his head in the morning. Then he breathed out, imagining the guilt and shame floating out like wisps of smoke on the air.
Opening eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed, Obi-Wan turned to look at Qui-Gon again. “I called to you when I went to face Vader.”
Qui-Gon nodded, eyes warm with compassion. “I was there.”
“I needed you...so many times...here on Tatooine.”
“I was there.”
Qui-Gon's form wavered, and Obi-Wan blinked, letting tears trickle into his beard. “When...I went to confront Anakin...on Mustafar...when I-I thought that I had...that I had....”
All he could see was his master's eyes, full of sympathy and compassion, understanding and acceptance. “I was there, Obi-Wan.”
For a moment, he held Qui-Gon's gaze. Then he dropped his head into his hands and let the tears flow. “So...every time....”
“Always.”
“You saw...every time I've failed....”
“And every success.” Like a warm blanket, Qui-Gon's presence folded around him in an embrace he felt in the depths of his soul. “I am proud of you, Obi-Wan. You have become a greater man and a greater Jedi than I ever could have foreseen.”
The heat of the twin suns seemed lodged permanently in Obi-Wan's chest. “Only because of your guidance, Master.”
They smiled at each other, and even though they looked nothing like they had when Obi-Wan had been an apprentice, the connection between them was as strong as ever.
#ask and you shall receive#pathetic-life-form#let me count the ways#ask games#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#qui-gon jinn#post-kenobi show#(but not really any spoilers for it)#this is a fic idea i've had ever since i first watched the show#originally it was going to be a 5+1 thing but i never got enough inspiration for that#so i was really glad to have this excuse to write the main scene i was actually interested in writing!#even so i'm kind of ambivalent about how it turned out#mostly because i stalled out for like a month in the middle of this#burnout + the sickest i've been in ten years will do that to ya x.x#anyway sorry it took so long to get to but i hope you like this!#p.s. kudos to anyone who noticed the cs lewis influence on this scene (i couldn't resist!) :P
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