#I'm so tired I need a hug
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So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?
Things I need to do:
Finish reading icebound land
Make a whole lotta art that I promised people
Research study abroad programs
At least one Dutch lesson a day
Keep my room clean
Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)
My math homework
Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane
Eat at 7pm
Various things I enjoy as to not go insane
All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00
So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks
But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup
#“but you never actually do that stuff! you just sit and scroll!”#yeah cause if I'm not doing what I need to I'm not Allowed to do anything else#but I'm just. too tired. to do what I need yo#I hate high school#rambles#adhd#executive dysfunction#<- I've heard that this kinda mental math can be a symptom of those things? idk#im so tired#burnout#adhd burnout#(????? I think????)#high school#I'm just so tired of all of this#the sun is going down way too early and I barely speak at all at school and I never finish work early anymore and the teen center is loud#and I still want to be active in the fandom but I don't have time to make posts anymore#and I don't have any in person friends anymore and I don't know when the last time I got a hug was#and I'm just. so. tired. my room is clean and I have good grades and I talk to my friends everyday and I shower routinely#why the hell am I so stressed#I do everything I'm supposed to do#I just want to go somewhere else man#The Netherlands hopefully#I wanna actually DO something#go on a trip for band#not just finish the work put in front of me day after day after day after day#I wasn't built for this shit#I'm so fucking tired
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can't wait for adaar to come back to cassandra after a decade of being best friends with dorian 'thedas' nr 1 mortaboo necrostan' pavus and then hanging out with a bunch of mourn watchers through all of veilguard and embracing her like 'I love and support you more than anyone in this world and whatever you needed from them that you didn't get I'll wrestle dragons and fight gods to give you now, my love, my lighthouse, my safest place to stand. but I must regretfully report that your folks fucking ROCK actually I think dorian was right about this one'
#their relationship has survived a decade of cass being a barely moderate conservative while adaar is the closest thing#you can get to a filthy commie in thedas beneath the realpolitik strategy. they'll weather this disagreement just fine too lol#you do find a memento in the grand necropolis that mentions cassandra being at her uncle's funeral which had me flailing like#MY GIRL!!! MY LITTLE GUY OBLIQUELY MENTIONED!!!! is she. y'know. a woman of some renown? 👀👀👀#rye and cassandra are for sure doing some kind of handshake meme over 'emotional damage that can happen#when you're a child being raised by well-meaning people who nevertheless spend most of their thoughts and time on sepulchers'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#cassandra pentaghast#adaar x cassandra#I think adaar probably lost at least one of his parents along the way too and that's part of why he's SO tired and sad#I think harding heard about it and hugged him for five straight minutes. imagine tiny lace harding protectively embracing#the 2.7 meter tall purported second coming of andraste (the inquisitor has been reticent to define his divine situation#an ongoing ambiguity that has proved quite politically useful lol). and him very much needing it#never 4get that when it comes to inquisition I'm everything else second and a cassandra thirster first and foremost#my heart and my. well some other parts override my political brain immediately and I am helpless to stop that#cassandra trespasser slide with her sleeves rolled up over her strong powerful arms#grinning over her shoulder at the inquisitor be upon you and maybe then you'll understand
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Had a 25 hour sleepover with my friends, came home and my dad talked to me about politics for 4 hours (can't leave or he guilts me into believing I don't care about his opinion) and then when I tried to tell him I was proud of myself for trying to fix my sleep schedule by aiming for 1am he called me a pathetic failure and refused to see how this made me feel awful and now I'm in bed with my cat how's everyone else's day gone?
#Vent#I'm going to blow something up with my mind#I need to time skip like 4 years so I can be in uni or something and I don't need to deal with this crap#Maybe 1am isn't idea for sleep but I was going to bed at 2#3 am before and if I'd set it for something earlier like 10 that I knew I wouldn't be able to reach#I would just get demotivated and stop#So yeah it's baby steps but at least it's steps#For a man who complain so much about how I'm so lazy and tired all the time#He seems to be actively against me working on it#Vent tw#Gore vents#Gore needs a hug 😞#Gore's cat is racing around the room like she has an Olympics to win
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Blacked out. Wet Irish hug
BIG WET RAT HUG!!!!! :D
Oooooo I forgot how cool your new sona looks!!! I need to try and draw them when I have my energy back again :3c And I love how you draw my little guy he looks so cute in your style ;-;
#Ask#Pigeonstab#Aaaaaaa thank you ;-;#I'm still tired from work even tho I was only there for 6 hours but I'm !!!!!!!!!!!!!#THIS IS SO CUTE#And that's what it would be like too!!#One big ratatouille-ass bear hug#I love this so much I need to save this on my phone so I can look at it when I need energy#Thank you Pigeon you're always so sweet and nice to me <3#Framing this and putting it in my local museum
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I don't really wanna die, I just know that death is the only way to end all of this
#actually borderline#hell is a teenage girl#i'm so tired#i need a hug#i just want to sleep#and never wake up#i hate this#i hate it here#i hate everything#actually mentally ill#actually bpd#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#i wanna kms#i want to kms#i want to disappear#soft girl#im just a girl
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Starting to wonder if the reason I was so against dating for so long was bc I was fuckin gay this whole time so ofc boys had 0 temptation to me
#rotating the lesbian master doc around in my head like a microwave#sable speaks#nonsense#the doc made so much sense?? and like so many things clicked wtf?#anyways now that I'm like almost completely sure im lesbian idk it's triggered something in my silly brain#and i actually?? want to date for once? like would be genuinely interested in a romantic relationship?#what the fuck#but also maybe i am just really tired and need more hugs because that js also a thing#<- creature who needs daily physical affection to survive and thrive#anyways#kinda nervous saying anything out loud abt this but im too tired to let that stop me lol
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i just want someone to hug me and say that it's okay, you did your best, wrap me in a blanket and sit with me while i fall asleep
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.
#rant time bc i'm sick and i'm feeling like oversharing lmao#why does my family even bother asking how i'm feeling if they're gonna treat taking over my chores for just TWO DAYS#like it's their worst fucking trouble ever#like sorry i asked you to walk the dog when i literally have a fever#wanted to take him on a walk now and my mom just scoffed and took the leash from me#and yesterday when i asked (through tears) if she could buy me any medicine she was like 'do you actually need it?'#why the fuck am i not even allowed to be sick in this household#why is everyone mad at me for being sick once in five years#i can't even take the weekend off bc literally everyone at work is sick so noone can take my shifts#i'm just tired and i wish i had someone to just tell me it's okay to be sick once in a while is that too much to ask for#i have to get well by tuesday i literally can't be sick next week#okaaay rant over hope everyone is doing fine#take your vitamins drink lots of warm tea get a hug from someone and dob't get sick please <3#stay healthy mutuals we're gonna get thru to the end of the year <3#agnes talking
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Magenta 😟
#I've had cognitive impairment from covid before but not to where i feel intellectually dumb when i write#my college papers and my writing projects dont sound like “me” as of late#its very bare bones and doesn't have the descriptiveness or humanity i normally give#like i see the scenes or what i want to say in my head#but what i type aint matching up#and yeah i naturally get into slumps like that but this is like that slump x 9000#I'm kinda scared this round might've given me brain damage#havent been feeling all the way like myself#but i also know too that covid takes a while to heal from and of course theres long covid shit which ive dealt with before#im just frustrated guys#i feel like within the last 3 to 4 months i finally healed from my last bout of rona#and i get it again and im back to square one#i just want to write and feel okay with it and not feel so stuck just trying to come up with a basic sentence#seriously even writing basic shit is hard right now#it took me a week to get 5 pages on duality#and im used to churning out at least 10 pages on my projects at minimum every couple days to a week#man give me chronic pain anyday but don't take away my mind and the freedom that comes with that#sorry guys im feeling sad#i know i gotta give myself time but im impatient#i hate how right before i caught covid again i was gonna get my flu shot and an updated covid vax#wish i could've avoided this crud#having weird chest shit too#was a heart thing now its gerd now its potentially back to a heart thing#im tired#i need a hug#i love you 🫂💙#magenta is my vent word
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hi. it's late. I'm tired. I scribbled this little dude out in like 15 minutes. uncropped, unfished, raw starzzytisms content. enjoy.
#sfw interaction only#digital art#lineless art#colored art#art???#art!!!#my art#artists on tumblr#disabled artist#shadow the ultimate lifeform#shadow the hedgehog#shadow fanart#baby boyyyy#he needs a hug#i need to hug him#i am hyperfixating#can you tell im hyperfixating#scribbles#unfinished#unfinished art#im so tired#i'm back from the dead#here is the thing#enjoy#art food#art flavor???#why am i like this#i made this#this took 15 minutes#the cutie patootie
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genuinely don't see myself living past 25. i'm so fucking tired
#lillys soliloquy#i need a hug#my mental health hasn't been this bad since 2021#i want to vent but i got nobody to talk to#more like i don't want to scare anyone off because who tf talks about planning to kms#i don't see things improving for me and i doubt it every will#therapy isn't a thing where i live#what the fuck do i even do?#i just wish i wasn't such a coward cause god i'm so sick and tired of this shit#i don't really vent on main much#maybe this is a cry for help idk#i'm gonna try and sleep or something
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it's been a while since i've cried hard enough to have a headache but. sure got there today, babes!
#ghost speaks#personal#ripped my favorite tights i've had for 5+ years and can't replace#can't return my glasses#got ptsd triggered by going past my old church because i took a wrong turn because i was. crying about not being able to return my glasses#have been crying for a solid 40 minutes straight#am still incredibly aware of how isolated and lonely i am#my parents are on vacation so i won't see a friendly face or get a hug till sunday night at the earliest#just. doing BAD#(well. there is the faint hope that the office manager will take pity on me since her office literally cannot manufacture lenses#that will meet my needs)#(but considering i spent a lot of the last hour yelling and begging out loud trying to work out a maximally sympathetic pitch)#(and also dreading 1-2 years of not having transition lenses because theirs fuck with my color vision)#(i'm not sure the hope makes things. better?)#i am gonna. make hot chocolate because it sounds like a marginal improvement over crying without that#the last time i couldn't stand up or i'd start crying harder was yesterday but boy did i not miss it#i thought i might feel better in the morning. ha. ha ha. ha#(like i know this is temporary i'm just. i just. i am so tired and SO stupidly ridiculously incredibly upset)#(like my emotional equilibrium right now is. not)
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Do it scared! What if I don't want to? What if I'm sick of being scared of everything and everything being so much fucking harder then it needs to be?
#I'm so fucking tired of living like this#and I'm doing all the things I can be doing#and it's still just like this#I don't understand how I'm suppose to keep living like this#ughhh#delete later#I'm just really tired and need like a 10 minute hug and some comfort but that's not possible at the moment#and also a new brain would be nice
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I love aki.... I want him to hold me.......
#I'm so exhausted...#I just wanted to stay in bed today#it feels like this week I haven't had the energy for anything#I want aki to comfort me#I need him to hug me tight and warm and tell me everything will be alright#before I implode today#I'm tired of people and everything#hhhhhhhhhhhh h aki...... aaaaki......
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sometimes you have a shitty day but there are things that make it easier to keep going like:
- being silly with basically strangers
- hugs when you really need them
- quiet 3 am phone calls with people you really love
#idk. it's been such a hard couple weeks for me honestly#i've had to adjust to back 2 back changes over and over again. and i also feel guilty for a couple different reasons all at the same time#couple that with 0 free time and no money? and bills? woooff#today in particular was really hard because i went to bed so late (it was worth it) but in turn i got up later#had to hurry to my appointment which meant i didn't eat anything besides a yogurt. which is better than nothing#but then i had to get my blood drawn. twice. and was sooooo worried about the time bc i had work after. i almost fell asleep in the lobby bc#i was so tired. also i almost couldn't afford my appointment and almost had a heart attack. then i rushed to work and my boss made me drive#30 minutes back to my house to change my pants (pants i'd worn like 5 times before) because they had a TINY rip in them. i mean like 2 inch#there was 1 rip. girl. anyways i had to leave in front of all my coworkers AFTER JUST RUSHING THERE and i felt even MORE guilty bc i alr#leave and hour early for school WHICH ALSO doesn't help. me financially.#anyways then i had to email my prof that i'll be late bc work Needed me longer today. n just#christ. i was so fucking stressed#SO stressed#but i'm in bed now and#i was thinking about all the kids at work who gave me a hug today. like i always get hugs but today i Needed one. so it felt different#and in my lab today me and these total strangers were laughing like a pack of sleep deprived hyenas bc we kept makin silly jokes while#diagnosing a car and doing circuit work.#and i thought about how i talked with myself today even though i was in a rush i still made the time to journal for a bit#how my best friend sounded last night. how they'd drop everything no questions asked#how even though it feels like you've got no one in the moment you turn and suddenly someone's there#sometimes it's hard to see. it's blurry in our peripherals while we move through our days but. you sit at the end of it all#i like remembering all that.#sap says#txt#feel free to add in the tags btw
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💌Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome!!!💌
Personal addition: You're super super super sweet and im so happy to have you as a friend!! 🩷 I hope you're feeling better and that everything goes super nice to you, im sending you a million hugs!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Amayis! Hi :D
Thank you :) and thanks for the kind words, I am sending you hugs as well
#ask games#Amayis-bigtower#I'm doing short responses right now bc I'm tired but I love you#everyone who has added personal additions and hugs at the end I love you#we all know I need them by now diskfkdofkfk but seriously this is a lot o got so many asks with hugs and stuff#<33
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