#I'm not weak for having emotions.
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Does this ever end?
#It's exhausting.#I don't get it.#What am I doing wrong?#I try to be pleasant. It doesn't work.#I try blocking things out. It doesn't work.#Nothing works.#Nothing ever works.#The fuck am I supposed to do?#Just keep putting up with it?#I don't know how much more I can take.#Fuck. I'm just so sick of this.#I'm sick of feeling worthless.#I'm fed up of all this belittlement and disrespect.#I'm not a child.#I'm not weak for having emotions.#I'm not stupid.#I'm fifty fucking eight years old.#I survived forty years on my own.#My entire fucking existence has been nothing but pain.#So yeah. I'm not going to fucking stand here and take it.#I'm going to retaliate. I'm going to stand up for myself.#Especially against people who know nothing of me. And refuse to know nothing of me.#So fuck all of this.#I have every right to be angry.#The world has been nothing but shit to me.#Tua rp#Tua rp blog#Five Vents
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honeymoon phase! (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#me when the modern au fluff gets to me viciously#i LOVE modern au... i'm so weak to it... augh..... i love them in another universe getting the chance to be mushy and sweet *explodes*#most of all i just like to see wolfwood in his full element of being able to love and care about someone so openly and honestly.#it's what he was meant to do... what he wants to do.. what he deserves to do T_T but anyway. this can be interpreted as their many years to#come honeymoon phase but i do think modern au vw would have like their 2 year break up that devastates the both of them and irreversibly#changes their lives but it wouldnt be anything nasty. it just is. and then their lives go on as is for those 2 years before they steadily#and veryyyy very very very slowly get to around a second chance for each other. never necessarily awkward but theyre obviously afraid of#hurting and being hurt and also uncertain of what's right for themselves. but then they'll just get it one day and then they get married!#that's my ideal modern au vision anyway...... happy end... with so much emotional devastation of unspoken feelings and personal life troubl#ruporas art
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alright, so, i'm writing something and wanted to share my black sisters hcs because i like them so much (and also because i need to so i won't forget it)
first of all, bellatrix is a very good sister. she's a bit unhinged, sure, maybe can get a little violent, yes, but it's alright so long as you don't mess with cissa and andy (or regulus and sirius by extent, but she prenteds she doesn't like them)
they have a thing with nicknames. for everyone, they are bella, cissa, and andy. but for each other, they are trix/trixie, cissy/ciss, and an/mendy. the only other people who get to call them that are their loved ones (sirius, reggie, ted, alice and rita)
narcissa likes jewelry, she has rings, earrings, and necklaces to match with every single one of her clothes, and she can even make her own, she likes to chose gemstones and knows most of them by name (her favorite are emeralds and rubies)
bellatrix is a ballerina, she has so much strength in her body, like, she doesn't look like it, she looks scrawny at first, but she's very strong and flexible, ballet is a thing requires a lot of focus and determination, and for everything that she's chaotic, she has her moments of peace with dancing
andromeda tonks is bisexual. fight me on this one.
i feel like andromeda would also be a lot into fashion, like, just generally, she likes clothes and loves to push gender norms with her clothes, she rocks in dresses, and she rocks in suits, and sometimes she mixes both and guess what? she rocks!!!! (no, but seriously, andromeda tonks in a suit. please.)
the three of them like to gossip, like, a lot. they paint each others nails, bellatrix learned at a young age to do her sisters' hairs, so she does them whenever she gets the chance, and they talk about every bit of gossip they hear
narcissa painted her hair black once because she felt left out from her sisters. next thing she nows, once the paint fades, bella and andy have dyed their hair blond. now they all match
once they all have their lives apart, they still like to hang out when they can. cissa brings draco to his favorite aunts (although he likes pandora a lot too), sometimes bella brings rita when she's not working, and ted likes to pick andromeda up from their meet-ups so he can at least say hello to his in-laws
when they were young, their parents used to fight a lot, and it used to get really loud, so the three of them would get together in bella's room, and she would sing them a song until things got quieter. she's a surprisingly good singer (although narcissa is better)
when andromeda marries ted, bella and cissa walk her down the aisle, one on each side
#i'm very emotional about them#siblings dynamics are my weak point#anything related to the black brothers or the black sisters has me on a choke hold#bellatrix black#andromeda tonks#andromeda black#narcissa malfoy#narcissa black#narcissa x alice#young narcissa#bellatrix x rita#andromeda x ted#quillkiller#nobleflower#alicissa#tedromeda#they really don't have a cool poetic ship name huh#black sisters#the ancient and most noble house of black#do they count as marauders era#i really don't know#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#dead gay wizards#oh wow this got really long#hcs#headcanon#marauders headcanon#my headcanons
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halfway through v3 right now. it sure is a game.
[ID: a digital drawing of kaede akamatsu and shuichi saihara from danganronpa v3: killing harmony standing back to back. kaede is facing forward, and looking back at shuichi with a happy expression as they hold hands. shuichi is looking at kaede with a small smile. end id/]
#drv3#v3#danganronpa#danganronpa v3#ndrv3#kaede akamatsu#shuichi saihara#joeys art#image described#i plan to actually compose my v3 thoughts at some point#i'm in the middle of the investigation for trial 3#i think its biggest weakness#above ALL else#is its characters#you can tell who the writers wrote as a bit and nothing else#and the monokubs...#i think they're actively making the game worse#having the monokubs make some joke straight after a scene thats supposed to be really emotional#its just annoying! its annoying and 90% of the info they give can be figured out by the students themselves#that all aside. i do enjoy this game so far#the prologue is intriguing#the first trial is maybe the best in the series (in my uneducated opinion)#the second trial could never live up to trial one but it wasn't bad#its just brought down by its characters and. other stuff. probably#idk i haven't finished it yet and its been sitting in my steam account for ages
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her “you aren't worthy” when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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“The Sullys didn’t owe Spider anything, they didn’t adopt him.” It is basic decency to not leave a child with the murderers that kidnapped him. Much less a child you knew since infancy, much less a child who at least two of your children love like he’s their own brother.
#spider socorro#spider soccoro sully#miles socorro#avatar#i'm probably done harping on this now i'll get off my soapbox#look i don't hate the sullys#i think it's weak writing that causes this issue honestly#they didn't have time to flesh out every main#and they needed him kidnapped to further the plot#and neytiri is (i believe) blatantly set up to have an arc wherein she accepts him as his own person#though who knows#maybe they'll make him go bad and botch it or something#he doesn't deserve that#BUT in terms of what happened it is deeply fucked up how the adults around him regarded him#i don't think they WROTE it to be that way#but i cannot ignore the child neglecting elephant in the room#why does fandom always inevitably demonize children over adults???#like kids have any trauma or bad emotion and fandom wants to crucify them#and the adults around them can do ANYTHING and it's okay#i saw it with harrison morgan from dexter#the vitriol toward that pooor child#who went through multiple traumas#is baffling to me#or travis and shauna from yellowjackets#constantly demonized and blamed for not handling a horrific situation perfectly well
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This is probably just me starved for Solomon content, but I kept on wondering if the reason for Solomon's absence in the main story is intentional? In lesson 18 normal side story, Barbatos questions why Solomon suggested MC to go to the House of Lamentation when it's pretty obvious he's not taking their absence so well, and he said, it's the "mature thing" to do, causing the demon who is supposed to hate his guts to even worry about him.
In Lesson 11, we don't even have a choice to listen to him or side with him. MC was just given the option to give the book to Lucifer. In the later lessons, you don't get any options to decline the brothers when "it's about time to go back to Cocytus Hall".
The daily chats in NB have at least an explanation for this since you live together with him, but in the OG, he texts you the least amongst the other dateable characters. Which kinda contradicts what is explained on the daily chats in the first place because if you are away in Cocytus Hall for long periods of time because the brothers insist for you to stay with them longer, wouldn't that give him a reason to text you more?
I'm starting to think that Solomon is intentionally keeping his distance after all that happened in the main story. He loves you with all his heart, and trusts you enough to share a bit of his past with you, but after the past lessons, he may be at the stage where he's trying to...go back to his old self again. Where he doesn't rely on anyone as much. Where he can be depended on and be your most trusted ally and your dearest friend, but he must, at all circumstances, not show a portion of his heart again, no matter how much he loves the other person. That isn't to say he wouldn't reciprocate the same way, but he can only take what is given and should NOT expect anything more.
Because he's been proven right and right again when he finds out the hard way that people would only accept the "him" that would fit their narrative. That he was born unlike any other, so he must walk his path alone, even if it seems like the small intersection he found with you was the solace he needed to colour his jadedness. But that's all there is to it. You are just a small intersection. A short-lived dream containing his ideals and expectations. You would always be your own person, and he would rather have that because he loves you and he wants you to be happy.
Because you had a choice. And he knew you would never choose him. So he must silence the small part of himself that told him "He will never be alone again."
#the moment this man expresses even an ounce of weakness and vulnerability the fandom goes crazy#'oh he must be plotting something!' this#'he is an emotional manipulator' that#my brother in christ have you ever heard of trauma#please don't start discourse on this post I'm just sharing my thoughts im tired#unless you want to kiss solomon on the cheeks too be my guest#obey me#obey me nightbringer#spoilers#obey me solomon
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OKAY LISTEN I'M STILL MAD SO I'M CHANNELING MY INNER EMILY TO SAY THIS:
Saying a female character is only three-dimensional if she has traditionally "masculine" characteristics without any "feminine" traits is just playing into the misogynistic idea that women are only "okay" if they're like men, and saying that fandom is stripping a female character of agency and reducing her to a love interest by portraying her with "soft" traits and giving her a romance(with a man) is just dumb, especially when no issue is made about fandom-izing a smart and strong male character into an incompetent "damsel/himbo/malewife."
#jessica's non writing nonsense#i don't have the words to adequately express myself but.#something something people realized rigid gender roles were toxic#so they kept the rigidness but reversed the gender roles#and 'women shouldn't be helpless and weak and super emotional and Always Need A Man!'#became 'women shouldn't need help or have weaknesses or feel emotions and they're Not Allowed To Want A Man!!'#like. its ridiculous. i'm here giving Girl Character normal human feelings and a healthy friends to lovers relationship#and the antis are like 'you SHIP the GIRL? you SHIP the GIRL with a BOY?? OH! OH! Jail for author! Jail for author for One Thousand Years!'#(i hope this doesnt start an argument because unlike emily I Get Hurty Feelings but. it needed to be said.)
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finished watching netflix atla! i think the hate is unjustified lol like all that hate seems a little too intense for what i think the show missed. it didn't hit all the same notes as the original show, yeah, so i'm not sure it quite succeeds as an adaptation, but as a standalone show it's pretty good. and i might have some gripes with the characterization, but there was love in the casting and in the costumes and the world, and that goes a long way for me.
#even tho the costumes DID look reallt new lol#rei rambles#natla#as a show i'd give it like a 7.5 or 8 out of 10#as an adaptation... 5? 6?#the pacing was kinda weird and katara could be meaner but she wasnt terrible#sokka having a confirmed Thing with suki undermines the way his *first* girlfriend became the moon but that's also whatever#i actually LOVED the way they gave more to iroh and zuko about lu ten#and i heard ppl were mad abt azula which is like... why? she barely appears????#as for ozai being more emotional--i GET the gripe i do. really. i just. i am not immune to daniel dae kim okay.#been weak for him since i saw him in hawaii five-o and lost okay#first big asian man crush. only handsome asian man on north american tv for a very long time.#im okay with them humanizing ozai if it means more daniel dae kim ngl#narratively sure yeah it sjpports the zuko's and azula's characters better if he unequivocally sucks#but if they're gonna give him more acting meat i'm not gonna mind in the SLIGHTEST#but anyways yeah they v clearly spotlighted iroh & zuko over some team avatar stuff and i'd be more about it if it wasnt done well#but i actually liked it so i dont mind at all#zuko and iroh were super great
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The tragedy of having my hands full of work until at least next week and suddenly remembering how much I love and miss Lies of P while living my Geats fever because I need stalker!Riders injected on my veins to keep living
#will tag them to manifest to the universe my need of while my hands are too busy — dont mind me#lies of p#kamen rider geats#i already talked about this once on twitter but i was born with a severe case of bRAZILLIAN#just like d2 fed a lot of my aus now lop is my mental playground#im still weak to the steampunk victorian dystopic puppetto made with souls worldbuilding#and i'm just scratching the surface here bc the wake-up call was stalkers with animal masks#like we already have fox and cat volfe siblings you'll always be famous#so technically i would change them to fit geats and na-go - prob make one white and the other yellow instead of red and black#but also wHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DONT HAVE A BULL STALKER— 'its a buffalo'#AND NOT A RACCOON— 'tanukis are not raccoons'#for real tho mad donkey is this *okay emote* close from buffa#and going one floor deeper ergo / giragira hello jyamato and puppets manifesting memories of the dead hELLO#another floor deeper and a godly figure turned into tree/stone //drums#i'm not even mentioning 'idealized child created post-mortem' bc since pinocchio this is a staple but hEY#prob here just like my d2/lop au i would subvert sophia's role bc casuals would think of tsumuri which /fits/ but so would ace#'polux why do you create so much aus if you barely do anything with them' BECAUSE ITS A CURSE ITS MY FATE I'M DOOMED TO AU#technically they help me have inspos for my own original ideas but while i have my own jobs i can't really work on them so i stick to aus
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i've decided to join the Danny Phantom Fandom Fandom. i'm not particularly interested in watching the show but i am Here for what the fandom is doing. thank you to all the discord friends who have been explaining Danny Phantom and the Danny Phantom Fandom to me so i am prepared to join the Danny Phantom Fandom Fandom with minimal confusion
#stars rambles#danny phantom#the danny phantom fandom fandom#i would love fic recs#especially fic recs that are not The Most Terrifying Lab Hell#which i understand is a fandom specialty and i salute that#but unfortunately i am Weak and would like to be able to sleep at night#i'm here for the emotional angst tho#there's so much good fanart on tumblr#i wanna chew on some of the concepts ppl have come up with
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Do you ever think about how when Lestat's talking to Louis about when Marius killed Arjun and Lestat says that
His voice was a near whisper again, but I realised that it was what Louis did, lower his voice the more emotional he became.
and that that's such a small thing for Lestat to notice about Louis but he did because he loves him and he pays attention to these things and who else would notice that but Lestat and that maybe the reason why Louis gets quiet when he becomes emotional is because he was taught from a young age that 'men don't get emotional' so he learnt to repress his emotions by just going quiet and that during the Rue Royale days Louis was reserved because he didn't want to provoke Lestat's temper tantrums so he just went quiet so Lestat wouldn't get angrier and that the whole thing is just that Louis is a victim in this and he shouldn't have to repress his emotions by retreating into himself when he feels emotional just to stay unnoticed by the people he's trying not to provoke and perhaps this is also why he doesn't really cry all too often either?
Or are you normal?
#i'm taking this to tumblr because i have feelings about this#and i really want to give louis a big bear hug#and tell him he can be emotional#because it's normal#and he's not weak or bothering anyone by doing so#louis de pointe du lac#vampire chronicles#tvc#vc meta#my vampire chronicles
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when jane's powers return in season four (and because they were regained by her confronting and accepting her past, rather than being retraumatised with it!) they're stronger than they ever were. when she starts getting a handle back on them, she very quickly comes to realise not only have they affected her, but her mother, too. one of the biggest losses that came about with her losing them was the fact that she could no longer visit terry in the void; while there was no real communication there, it did allow jane to sit with her, and gain a little more connection than she could in the real world. when she first visits the void after their return, it takes her three hours to find terry, something that is both unexpected and incredibly worrying. but when she does, it's something of a miracle. jane's increased strength and control over the void actually wakes terry up from her catatonic state, but only in the void. there's no way to help her mother physically, but she does do so (unbeknownst to her) mentally. terry is reborn in jane's newfound control over the vale of shadows; she becomes the woman she once was, and while her body remains frozen in a "good dream", her mind connected to jane's own allows her some freedom. jane is able to speak to her mother in the void, is able to be held by her, and while it's still unfair and jane cannot stay in there forever, it's something. this only lasts for about eight months, as each visit slowly begins deteriorating terry's physical and mental state, and jane's health begins declining after spending hours upon hours in the void each and every day.
when jane finds out these visits are actually killing her mother on the outside, she deems to stop, but terry expresses the importance of them being able to speak, that she'd prefer to die on the outside, if it meant she could have just a few months with her daughter like this. terry and jane's connection was always so strong, which ultimately led to terry "waking up" in the void, but even jane's newfound strength cannot save her from the harsh realities. each visit nearing the end of those eight months, terry fades more and more, becomes weaker in the void, and her real body eventually gives up. jane's in the void when her mother eventually passes on, and physically feels their connection weaken, like some part of her suddenly becomes lost in the shadows, a part she'll never find again. jane falls into a depressive state for weeks after her mother's death, given she's technically lost her a second time, but soon comes to realise she was lucky to have even shared those eight months together. it was better than nothing at all. there is a proper burial and funeral, (and when jane dies, she's buried next to her mother) which allows jane some sense of closure. she never fully recovers from losing terry, nor from the fact that she never had a proper relationship with her, but she does eventually find some peace with it all.
#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#IF U SAW ME POSTING THIS YESTERDAY. no u didn't.#i wanted to change things again (who is surprised!!) and decided to just rewrite it all rip.#me taking a few weeks off from this blog and then coming back with a brand new terry / jane hc? more likely than u think.#purely self indulgent too i might add!#every day i battle with making my terry portrayal canon to jane's timeline so jane can have her mother in every verse not just#selected ones.#but. her not having her mother is ultimately important to my writing of her and sfjasfjas >:( hate myself for it.#so here be a brand new addition to my timeline that gives jane SOME time with her mother!!! bc i need it for my mental health.#i imagine when terry dies her body turns to smoke in the void. almost like what happened to billy when jane was spying on him.#and he stopped her connection and faded in front of her.#and jane also visited terry a lot in the void because it allowed her to see more memories of her mother.#i hc that she had a real grasp on that before s3 when she looks into billy's memories.#terry (even in her catatonic state) WANTED jane to see what happened to her in hawkins lab.#so she'd want her to see the good stuff too. her childhood. andrew. her grandmother that raised her and becky.#all the good memories!#so when terry dies jane loses all that completely.#which leads to jane grappling with the conflict of whether or not she should have kept visiting terry in the void which eventually led to#her death.#because if she hadn't connected to her. she'd at least be able to look back on all those memories.#jane becomes obsessed within those months and barely speaks to anyone else.#in any free time she has. she's in the void with terry.#her own physical body grows very weak after a little while but she pays no attention to it and even gets into heated arguments with becky.#because becky is jane's carer and needs her safe and healthy. needs to look after her.#but jane is so adamant about the fact that this is her MOTHER and she's finally able to speak to her.#UGH i have so much to say abt this actually i sense a brand new addition to my timeline coming on.#ANYWAY. i'm emotional about them that is all.
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IMAGES OF CHIYOKO HISAKAWA : 1 of ???
once gaining steady income as a mangaka, chiyoko seriously contemplates a more elaborate tattoo; rather than the cute little images she's imagined here and there, she wants something truly stunning to look at. the idea strikes her one morning after managing to spill paint all over her favorite pair of shorts, a deep green running over the blue material and down her calves. wouldn't it be pretty to paint her skin much like a canvas? chiyo eventually settled on a design that looks similar to watercolor, and though the visuals above lack much color, chiyo's tattoos are deep blues, purples, and reds that fade into each other, similar to what you see in these images here ( nudity warning, though nothing explicit ). the shading would most resemble the bottom right image, filling empty space with shadow or colored gradient. her tattoo curls along her right arm, across her chest, and down the left side of her waist, hip, and leg ( as depicted in the bottom left image ). getting to this point has, of course, taken quite a bit of time, especially as chiyo had to grow comfortable enough with her tattoo artist to allow them near parts of her body that are typically concealed. the whole thing has cost her a lot of money and tears, but she's pretty proud of the art she and her tattooist created. she plans to keep adding to it in the future.
#i love how i always think i won't have much to say and then i proceed to talk a ton asdfg#btw chiyo is now too powerful i was already weak to her but now i'm a goner i'm done for and i don't wanna be saved#ASDFG#and honestly the idea of her always wearing hoodies and tshirts that kinda cover it up vs when she wears tank tops#or dresses that reveal it........ smooching her rn#headcanons | chiyoko#visuals | chiyoko#btw i'm now so tempted to really rip the bandaid off and embrace the shorthaired blonde fc#kinda makes sense too bc in her 'adulthood' verse she's in a emotional and social slump she's falling backwards#and chiyo attempting to change herself outwardly in hopes of fostering some inner change too? yeah#but also seeing chiyo now vs when she was younger and thinking she's drastically changed and yes a lil but also#she's found herself back at square one my guy#I DUNNO I GOT A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND I'M JUST!! I LOVE HER :' )))#tw body image#is that the correct tag? y'all let me know if i need to be tagging something else bc i'm not sure
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omg the new dunmeshi episode !!!!! Senshi's backstory!!!! the changeling thing!!!!
#i like them!!!#senshi after having an emotional moment and waking up as an elf: i'm just here to be fabulous#also monotone tall man chilchuck is just very tired(also the way he described his senses being less strong was cool)#laios has to do everything himself cause the mage has no magic. the rogue doesn't fight. the dwarf is too weak as an elf and izutsumi is do#but omg senshi i empathise with his struggle cause omg if i wasn't sure i didn't accidentally eat one of my family/companions i'd just pani#anyways marcille looks so cute as a half-foot <2#chilchuck and senshi look cursed#the others are ok#dungeon meshi anime spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers
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.
#Robin processes emotions on main#I'm having a bad time over here plz pray for me#genuinely I'm doing rotten#coping badly#all that#im stressed out overworked AND my coping mechanisms are breaking down and making things worse#I think. I need to. I need to make my first priority sleep. I need a nap today and I need to go to bed early No Matter What#I need to NOT think of myself as a noble warrior for staying up late to complete my work or to destress with media#I need to embrace being a weak little human being and take care of myself dangit#ok. ok. ok#I can do this#one task at a time
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