#I'm not sure about the wonderful human thing but

[damnfeelings09]

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒Style - Shadow's version⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

A.N: this one closes the little story, I'm not really good writting explicit content but I tried my best. Also I'm not sure if you wanted to stay human or mobian so I kinda keept it vague so you could decide.

“Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights.”

You got out of the shower, the steam flooding your room, creating a warm and pleasant atmosphere. Carefully, you walked to your bed where your pajamas were already laid out, while the drops of water fell on your shoulders. You loved your days off. You used to spend the whole day at home, making the most of the time with... ah... there he was again, in your thoughts. You still hadn’t decided what you would do about his message. It had been three days, and all you could do was stare at the screen, wondering what would be the most appropriate response. Maybe a “hello” or “what’s up,” or “I love you” or your personal favorite “screw you, idiot, you broke my heart.”

“This is impossible,” you said. “What am I supposed to do now? It's not like I can just... ignore him?” You knew that was the most cowardly option, but you couldn’t face the situation. You didn’t want to face it. The same day you had received the message, you talked to Dylan and let him know that you weren’t really interested in him and that you only saw him as a friend. It had been hard because you really liked him, but you weren’t in love with him. How could you be when your heart only beat for one person? You finished getting dressed, wearing a long blouse as a nightgown, and leaving your hair loose while looking for the hairdryer. You were halfway into your closet when you heard a ring—it was a new notification. Quickly, you picked up your phone, and once again, his name appeared.

Shadow: I’m outside.

Damn it! Why? What did Shadow think he was doing outside your house?

"It’s been a while since I’ve even heard from you," you thought. Carefully, you approached the living room window and peeked through. You could see his car parked right in front of your door. Another notification made you step back from the window. You quickly read the message.

Shadow: Come out.

"I should just tell you to leave 'cause I know exactly where it leads, but I..."

Slowly, you opened the door, finding Shadow leaning against the passenger door. He had his arms crossed, his inhibitory rings glowing in the moonlight, and his eyes… those red eyes, like two rubies, staring at you intensely.

"You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style"

With every step you took towards him, your heart beat even faster. If it weren't for your training as a GUN agent, you probably would’ve suffered an arrhythmia and died right then. Shadow kept his gaze fixed on you, analyzing every move you made. With each step you took, he fought the urge to pull you into his arms. He knew it wasn’t a good idea, that you were angry with him, and although he had promised himself not to bother you again, here he was, once more, in front of your door. But this time, he had the courage to call you. When you were close enough, Shadow stood up and opened the passenger door, nodding for you to get in.

"So it goes He can't keep his wild eyes on the road, mm"

Shadow drove in silence, while you couldn’t stop intertwining and releasing your fingers. Saying you were nervous was an understatement; there wasn’t a word in your vocabulary that could describe the avalanche of emotions you were feeling. You tried to control your breathing, not wanting him to notice, even though it was a stupid thought—there was nothing about you that the ultimate lifeform didn’t notice. You glanced at the dashboard clock. It was past midnight, and you had no idea where Shadow was taking you. You directed your gaze to the hedgehog, but when his eyes met yours, you quickly turned your gaze to the door. If it were possible, you would’ve jumped out of the car right then. Shadow slightly increased the speed, making his car roar as it sped down the tree-lined road. His eyes darted between the road and your face, noticing that you were nervous, and something more—the reddish tint on your cheeks gave you away, and he couldn’t wait to kiss every part of you.

You inhaled and, gathering your courage, broke the silence. “I heard, oh, that you've been out and about with some other girl,” you said, looking down. That was what everyone had been talking about—the new girl who had quickly gained Commander Shadow the Hedgehog’s trust. At first, you didn’t want to believe it, but then you saw the pictures, where he was next to her, a smaller hedgehog, with bright yellow eyes and white fur. You wouldn’t admit it, but that night, you had cried in the bathtub.

Shadow looked at you as he slowed down the car. You had left the city miles behind, and now, you were ridding up the hill. Hesitant, he took the steering wheel with his left hand while placing the other one on your leg, gently caressing it. “What you heard is true, but I can’t stop thinking 'bout you and I.” he said.

“I’ve been there too a few times,” you said without thinking. You didn’t expect to give that response, but Shadow always managed to bring out your true personality. Right there, in his car, with his body so close and his caresses on your skin, you could barely think straight. You looked at him. Shadow had always seemed so damn handsome to you, but seeing him under the moonlight was definitely a religious experience. The sound of the engine accompanied every turn he made with the steering wheel, but it was his gaze that truly dominated the moment. His crimson eyes, deep and mysterious, fixed on the road, while his dark quills seemed to blend with the shadowy interior of the car. If it weren't for the reddish tips, you would’ve sworn they had grown out. His hand never left your leg; instead, his thumb made small circles on your soft skin, and you swore that with that little touch, you swore you could reach the heavens.

"You got that long hair, slicked back, white T-shirt And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt (a tight little skirt) And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style (we never go), we never go out of style"

The ride lasted 15 more minutes until Shadow finally stopped the car at the hill’s lookout. You knew this place; it was where you had your first date, where he first said “I love you,” and where... where you both had spent your first night together. With every memory, the heat increased, and your face felt like it was going to explode.

“I’m sorry,” Shadow murmured, halting the flow of memories that your mind was traveling through. His gaze was fixed on you, his expression had changed. That cold façade he showed the world crumbled before you. “For... everything.” Shadow had never been a fan of apologies. He always tried to find a way to be right, not because he was stubborn or made many mistakes—after all, we were talking about the ultimate lifeform—but he always took responsibility when it came to you. “I know I made you suffer. You have to understand that I... I... wanted to keep you safe, and I only managed to push you away. I didn’t know how. I still don’t... And I know you don’t want me close, I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I can’t... I don’t want to be without you.”

That was all it took, his confession to you was all you needed to hear. The air was charged with electricity, and every part of you was begging for his touch. You both stared at each other for a second, and without thinking any longer, you threw yourself at him. Your lips collided with intensity, as if you couldn’t wait any longer, as if time no longer existed. There, in the warmth of the car, only you two existed. Shadow took a second to react, the surprise on his face was undeniable, but it quickly turned into need as he took you by the waist, pulling you even closer, as if he was trying to fuse your body with his. Hands gripped, mouths opened, and the kiss turned into something wild, impetuous, where nothing else mattered.

"Take me home Just take me home"

You placed your hand on his chest, caressing his soft fur gaining a soft growl from the hedghog, you took a chance and pull yourself away from his hungry lips for a second. “… just take me home…” you said as you caught your breath. Shadow pressed his lips together one more time, then pulled away from you, making the engine roar. He drove quickly, the trees blurring into a smear. Throughout the drive, his hand remained intertwined with yours.

"Oh, you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like"

When you arrived to his home, your home, Shadow opened your door and took you in his arms bridal style, carrying you inside. Your clothes quickly abandoned your body, decorating the living room, the hallway, and the bedroom.

"And when we go crashing down (now we go), we come back every time"

He carefully laid you on the bed, admiring the view as he positioned himself above you, as if trying to engrave your image in his memory forever. He approached slowly, leaving a trail of kisses from your collarbone to your lips, saying how much he loved you after each one. A silent promise was born between you both that day—never again would you be apart... never.

"Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style"

[feroluce]

I've been yapping at a new friend a lot lately about Boothill & Rappa; she described them as "sidekicks in chaos" and! Yes! Finally!Someone else gets it! They're SO cute and so sweet, I adore them. They speak so highly about each other and they have a lot of respect between them! I love them being friends!

With the way Rappa calls him Lord (vs Ninja for everyone else) and how much she openly admires and mimics him, I'd like to think Boothill was the one that showed her the ropes when she was first brought into the Galaxy Rangers. Mentor/mentee and teacher/student are too strong of labels for how I see them, though.

Rappa and Boothill are like a college senior taking the new little freshman under their wing. Or the much older and more experienced coworker trying to look out for the fresh-faced little newbie who's just entering the workforce.

As for how they met and became friends in the first place, I like to imagine it was a case of Boothill's soft heart and being unable to turn a blind eye to things. ☆

Like Boothill wasn't on the mission where the Galaxy Rangers found Rappa, he was off on his own Hunt at the time. But given that the Galaxy Rangers have a leader (La Mancha) and they do seem to have some kind of organized efforts, I wonder if there's any kind of secret hq, or at least certain places where they tend to congregate, like how the Masked Fools have their taverns. Anyway.

Boothill maybe sees Rappa for the first time at one of these hqs (he came back when he heard there'd been a major breakthrough with Dr. Primitive). Or he maybe just happens to run into that Galaxy Ranger from 2.6 that initially found her, who then just. Wasn't really sure what to do with her after the raid. Boothill walks in all these Rangers sitting around like "well now what" because none of them actually expected Rappa to survive the memetic virus. Honestly, her brain should have fried.

Either way, Boothill comes across her by total coincidence. But I think he'd have a lot of sympathy for her because like. Aeragan-Epharshel had been an uncontacted planet before the IPC came around. And since they were there to fuck the place up, they definitely didn't expose the natives to the rest of the cosmos. To say that Boothill "left" the planet is a massive underestimation- he didn't just leave, he escaped. And when he got out, he was completely alone, with very little idea how the rest of the world worked or how to get by.

And right now, Rappa is much the same.

She doesn't know anything beyond the lab she was held captive in all her life. There's no way they would have allowed her to learn that kind of stuff, and I'm sure Kucha wouldn't have told her out of kindness. It would be cruel to taunt her with things she couldn't have.

So someone needs to teach her The Ways of the World! It's just a matter of deciding who.

Boothill: ...What're you morons doing.

The Rangers, in the middle of a very intense rock-paper-scissors tournament:

And Boothill likes these people. He really does! ...Ok, except that one guy. He's kind of a prick. But the rest of them are at least mostly decent! But he wouldn't trust them to keep a pool, let alone a whole human being. If he lets this girl go with any of these dumbasses, there's no way she'll make it. So Boothill smacks them around a bit and announces fine, he'll show the new girl how to be a Galaxy Ranger! If any of them have a problem with this, feel free to make complaints to his revolver ☆

Rappa watches all this go down with stars in her eyes, because Boothill is just like the heroes in her manga! Wow! So cool!

(When it came time to actually leave though, Rappa made some sad eyes at the Ranger from 2.6 that actually found her- for better or worse, she got a little attached. The Ranger told her to go on! Go! Just get out of here!

It's very important to imagine this like a movie where the kid frees the wild animal they bonded with skhzksksjk)

Afterwards, Boothill does actually take Rappa aside and ask if she even wants to be a Ranger. If she doesn't, it's fine. The Galaxy Rangers do a lot of charity work, and everyone knows someone who knows someone who knows someone. They'll find somebody that can help her figure things out and get settled. She can have an actual life now.

Rappa gives a passionate speech (that Boothill catches about 50% of sdlkfjasdl) about how she wants nothing more. She'd wanted it before she even knew the name for it. This was what she'd dreamed of, laying across the bed in Kucha's room, reading through his manga collection for the nth time.

Kucha isn't with her anymore. He'd died just to get her out of there. But she can take the opportunity he gave her and make the most of it. She can still keep her dream alive.

So yes, Rappa wants to be a Ninja Hero. Please teach her!

(Boothill: Bein' a Galaxy Ranger ain't easy shirt. Ya gotta be able to hold yer own in a fight. Can ya even do that?

And then Rappa fucking suplexed him and Boothill was like ok so the first parta bein' a Galaxy Ranger is- JSJJSJDKSK)

They're mentioned together so much outside of the main game, too. So I'd like to think even after Boothill passed on to Rappa all the street smarts he could, they still remained pretty friendly, and make the time and effort to meet up whenever they pass nearby. They just ended up getting along so well!

Like no, they don't see each other very often. They're each on their own separate Hunt. Galaxy Rangers still largely work alone. But they're the kind of buddies that can still happily greet each other the same even after months of not speaking. ♡

(Clutching my heart imagining Boothill telling Rappa she is now a full-fledged Ninja Hero, and she is now strong enough to make her solo journey! But he does give her his phone number. And he tells her that if she's in trouble- like real, real bad trouble- call him. Call him and he'll come runnin', to any corner of the galaxy, ok?)

[spyxrambling]

I find the discussion around chapter 109 interesting because a lot of people seem to think that Twilight will be a good therapist and help Melinda Desmond and honestly...I'm not so sure about that.

Melinda is already estranged from her husband and lives apart from him and her sons, yet she's still terrified of him to a degree where she apparently doesn't even seem to believe he's human anymore.

While it's not part of Twilight's job as a fake psychiatrist to tell Melinda to get a divorce, removing Donovan from her life as much as possible is probably the best advice one could give Melinda in this situation.

But I don't think Twilight will do that for multiple reasons.

1. We already saw him telling a patient who was utterly terrified of his wife to talk things out with her instead of seperating before the Mole arc:

And we have to remember he gave this advice to a couple whose relationship he doesn't have a vested interest in.

2. We know that Loid's colleagues and previous patients think he's an amazing psychiatrist, but until recently Loid was kept away from VIP patients so he had very little reason not to give his unimportant patients the best treatment he could think of to eventually qualify for VIP patients. He had no reason to manipulate them to gain intel.

3. Twilight has an interest in getting the Desmond family closer together again even if its not good for them. Anya getting close to Damian and Yor getting close to Melinda is kind of pointless if neither of them can get Twilight into Donovan's social circle.

4. Some people think Twilight will try to gain intel from Melinda but then stop to genuinly help her once he realises how much she is suffering. With the way Twilight has been acting since the Mole arc I can't imagine his human side getting the better of him.

Twilight thinks that he lost to Wheeler because his emotions stopped him from killing Yuri, leading to Twilight getting injured before facing Wheeler. He doesn't know that strong emotions (Nightfall's love and rage) were also the reason he was saved and Wheeler defeated. Twilight is currently at a point where he noticed that he has developed feelings for his family, but he sees it as a weakness that needs to be eliminated.

And while we see Twilight feeling slightly bad for viewing everything through the lense of intel gaining instead of forming genuine bonds:

But so far these feelings of shame have not yet lead to a change in his behaviour:

In fact I wonder if the only thing that could get Twilight to seriously overthink his approach would be if his fakeness and manipulative behaviour for the sake of intel lands him in serious trouble.

[frosting-surfeit]

Rebecca sugars foreword in the art of invader zim book for reference

She gets me and best fangirl of all time tbh

When I get a chance to meet fans of my cartoon Steven Universe, there's usually a lot of crying and hugging involved. I'm often asked if I'm surprised by the intensity of the fanbase. But I'm not surprised at all. It's something I truly understand, because of Invader Zim.

The nineties weren't the best time to be a queer kid. I entered middle school cautiously optimistic, and came out the other side sure that I was unlovable garbage. Worst of all, unlike most of my classmates, I didn't stop liking cartoons, so I was also a nerd, which at the time was not at all cool. But then, suddenly, like fate, there was Invader Zim. Its particularly misanthropic point of view hit me at exactly the right time. There was something about Dib especially his ability to see the obvious and incredible truth while all the other kids went along obliviously with their lives really struck a chord with me. It reminded me of my own obsession with cartoons, which began to pool entirely into Zim.

It felt like an incredible secret, a tether that was grounding me, a source of power. No one could sway me from loving this show, or from loving cartoons. If they couldn't see what I saw in it, they were all wrong and I was definitely right. If they missed what made it special, then that was their loss.

Zim became a massive part of my high school experience. I found other fans at school to gush about the show with. I followed fan artists online, and read and wrote fan fiction. I doodled the characters all over my schoolwork. I drew a comic imagining what it might be like to meet Jhonen, and how I would definitely faint. I couldn't understand that he was human. Or maybe I couldn't understand that I was human. I saw humans doing human things all around me but I felt empowered to be different, even if it meant suffering. I suppose I hadn't seen that before: a story about how being different meant being punished constantly.

It felt true, unlike the feel-good pap about how great it is to be unique. Zim made me feel like I could cut through that noise. Zim made me ambitious, Zim made me friends, and Zim gave me some sort of ground to stand on in my own mind. Zim gave me permission to be angry at the kids who made fun of me. Zim let me laugh about how miserable I was!

I feel that Invader Zim will be forever woven into the fabric of my life. I can't separate it from my most formative experiences, even the painful ones. (Especially the painful ones.) But it is because of this that I understand the immense power of an animated TV show, especially when it's encapsulating a distinct and deeply personal point of view. As much as I burn with embarrassment to write about all this, my parasocial relationship with Jhonen gave me such strength and direction that I honestly don't know who I would have been without it. Since getting to know Jhonen, and

myself, a whole lot better, I can say with certainty that we are both humans... and I find myself looking cautiously but fondly at obsession and embarrassment as deeply human things to feel, even when they're evoked by a cartoon. (Especially when they're evoked by a cartoon.)

I wonder as you pick up this book what your relationship is to this show and these characters and this art. I wish I could know what this show meant to you, when you discovered it, and why it resonated with you. In addition to what this show meant to you personally, I hope you can also love these drawings as lines on paper, and love these artists as human beings.

-RS

Thinking about the implications of somebody on the She-Ra team being a ZADR shipper. That makes at least three animated shows helmed by women with explicitly queer characters and themes of redemption, overcoming trauma, and finding love with a connection to Invader Zim. Like, there’s already been so many books published in the last few years that are explicitly inspired by Reylo, but how many more creators have spent the last twenty years reworking their ZADR/ZADF/Zim redemption fics into original concepts to get the closure they always wanted for the characters?

People were calling Catadora lesbian Reylo but maybe it was really lesbian ZADR all along.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I don't know about the public opinion, but I wonder if the last pap walk won't backfire on Meghan in the industry. To be clear, I don't fault her for speaking out on the fires (I've seen some hating on her just for it). She's a born and raised californian and has always lived in or closely to the areas burning. Doing so by issuing a statement from her "office" though, using her title, is cringe but not suprising.

However, so far she's the only celebrity I've seen who seems to be doing things with a PR perspective and I don't think it'll go down well. Many more talented, more famous and more respected celebs have lost their homes or at least had to flee their homes, unlike Meghan and Harry who haven't been directly affected so far. Let's not even talk about all the rest of the people working in Hollywood, from the publicists, production companies, marketing agencies, etc and wether it's the first level employee or the CEO. I'm not sure Meghan has realized how many people she might have offended with this.

She already went from hosting Serena, Paris Hilton, Mariah Carey on her podcast, to only having Mindy Kaling and then unknown names in her new show. The celebrities willing to associate with her had already shrunk before that. 2025 is also the year she has to prove she can bring in money to make more deals. But what if her tone deaf actions are actually the nail in the coffin, no matter how well her new show performs.

In the long run, I think this papwalk/visit is just going to fade away. There are so many people in need now who are speaking out - celebrity, humanitarian aid, and normal folks alike - that this will get buried soon enough.

I think a lot of people are looking the other way right now because there's so much devastation and ultimately it won't be a big deal. It's like when Harry and Meghan delivered food that one time during COVID (around Easter?) - they were papped, there was a bunch of PR, but no organic attention and the story died very quickly. I see this being the same kinda thing.

Where it might go differently is if the Sussexes keep popping up and keep doing these papwalks (and it was a papwalk because they took their masks off while inside an active debris field). Then people will notice, then people will start asking questions. If they're legitimately there to help rebuild the community and give support to their neighbors (e.g., serving food in meal lines or doing some Habitat for Humanity-like cleanup), then no problem, keep doing what you're doing. But if they keep showing up for five minute meet-and-greets to hug the locals and pat them on the back saying 'sorrows, sorrows, prayers', with news crews and private security guards in tow? Yep, they'll have problems.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

I would love for Ponyo AU to hear more about a) the seaside town where Edwin lives or b) how the Night Nurse and Kashi met (something which is never addressed in the Ponyo film actually, I think) - apologies if this constitutes a spoiler for future chapters!

Thank you, my friend! Apologies for the delay in answering, life sure keeps life-ing all over me 😑

I did think about choosing an actual British seaside town to set the story in -- we do have plenty of them to choose from -- but ultimately I decided that in the name of the sort of, dreamy imprecise magical whimsy of the piece, that having an exact town you can point to on a map wasn't really what was needed or wanted.

Edwin lives in a Pushing Daisies-esque small beach town named something whimsical like Bottleby-Upon-Tweed or West Wombling or some such achingly British nonsense, and it's all brightness and noise and candy striped colours in the summer and a desaturated frame of salt-roughened old celluloid in the winter. Those two mirroring states are sort of reflective of our POV characters. The POV of the overall fic is a little muddled, there may be parts where it leans more heavily into Edwin or Charles (the growing up sequence ended up almost entirely Edwin, which I regret a bit now!) but there will often be asides to both in the same section because in my mind they're sort of learning to see the world not just through their own eyes but through each other's; Edwin, who's tired of this grey old place and these grey, miserable people, and Charles, who sees the world on the shore as this big exciting adventure. It's an odd balance and one I defo didn't nail in chapter one because I was still sort of percolating ideas, but there's a tribute to both of their viewpoints in the way I'm trying to build this fictional town around them out of drab and dour things like cold cliffs and beach litter and panopticon-esque family homes that watch you with their beady window-eyes, and out of larger-than-life adventure set pieces like killer seagulls and travelling circuses (woops chapter 2 spoiler!) and the same house again but as a castle on the hill, a stronghold. Essentially, the town is a Frankensteined scrapbook of your quintessential English beachside town, cobbled together by two children with very different memories of how the summer holiday went!

And as for Night Nurse and Kashi, well, I won't go into what the later chapters hold for them, but I have no idea how much of their backstory will make it into the fic, so. In the interest of anyone who wants to keep that part of the fic a complete surprise I'll pop it under a cut!

N.N. and Kashi aren't the focus of the fic, so I wouldn't say I've thought through every aspect of their relationship/backstory, however as soon as their role in this fic revealed itself to me I did get way more invested in them than I planned! In this fic, N.N tends to be referred to as either the sea witch, or the witch of the waves (slight Howl's Moving Castle nod, there!), but she has another name, and a relatively well-known role in ancient Greek mythology. What her history is exactly has been somewhat lost to time, oral histories and retellings being what they are, but she was once a powerful sorceress with a gift for transforming people who crossed her into animals. She's had various romantic entanglements and a number of children, all lost to her now.

She'd always lived by the sea and done a number of dealings with some famous -- or infamous -- sea-dwellers, so it was a happy coincidence that one day she happened across a strange and friendly man on the docks. He was an odd man, seemingly totally unbothered by the pain and strife in the world; and she, being a woman who'd lived through a great deal of tiresome human loss and pettiness (of literally mythic proportions), found herself drawn to him. He turned out to be a minor god of the sea and a self-described inveterate wonderer, always swimming from ocean to ocean, never having had enough of all the world can show him, but his kindness and his refreshingly direct manner of speaking seduced her, and she gave up on the world of men for good to live on the bottom of the sea -- and grew to adore it so much that she's now quite sure that the world could do perfectly well without the land or the humans in the picture, actually. They love each other very dearly, in their strange way, they're honest with each other; and she's never begrudged him his lifestyle, or his adventures, or his infrequent and unpredictable visits.

...She does take SLIGHT issue when that ridiculous overgrown seahorse of a man blows back into her neck of the woods with a winsome smile and a fresh batch of magical immortal fish-children smuggled under his arm like souvenirs from abroad, but. Fortunately for him she's been a mother before and even finds herself missing it on occasion; although the sort of broods this man produces are FAR larger than any she's had to deal with in her human years. No wonder she's just a tad stressed.

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

[itsclydebitches]

Jonelias thought of the day is that Elias must come across as so stuffy and boring to those at the Institute - which, you know, very much helps hide his true nature - but as an avatar of the Eye and a man determined to avoid the End, Elias is someone whose entire being revolves around the interplay of knowledge and experiences. He's compelled to Know it all and his efforts to avoid death invite him to Experience it all too, a fascinating combination of passive observer and, by virtue of being a 200+ year-old in search of true immortality, an active participant too. This is a man whose longevity and thirst for knowledge invites an obsession with life that contradicts the 'Sits in his office doing nothing but spreadsheets all day' image he's learned to cultivate. (Though, to be clear, he does love the spreadsheets.) And I don't just mean "obsession with life" in the sense of him avoiding the finality of death, but actually loving the act of being alive.

I think a lot of what the fandom (rightly) jokes about in regards to his characterization is a reflection of that obsession. Elias has a relationship with Peter Lukas that goes far beyond the cold practicality of an alliance, hinting at a romance (if you steer towards a LonelyEyes reading), or just Elias' desire to still be able to place bets with someone while he's trying to end the world. Similarly, his powers ensure that he's never truly alone - if he dies, he takes the rest of the Archive with him - forever supplying him with a warped companionship that doesn't threaten him like he perceives he was threatened as Jonah Magnus, with his acquaintances working to complete their own rituals. In true Beholding style, he's got the heart of a fucked-up scientist who's endlessly curious about the world around him: 'Oooh what happens if I let my friend waste away in the Lonely?' He shows up at Jon's birthday party not just to secretly gloat and keep an eye on things (ha), but because he legitimately wants cake. Who wouldn't want cake? What's the point of living forever if you can't have cake?? Well, for an avatar the exquisite sweetness of fear is just as good, but my point stands. Beyond his fear of death, that enjoyment is at the heart of Elias' goal, with Jon describing his experience as the Pupil as a kind of agonized bliss and Elias confirming this by saying he was having the most wonderful dream. Morality aside, he likes interacting with the horror of the Entities, something we saw all the way back during the "[PLEASURED EXHALATION]" scene. Learning new things feels good. Experiencing news things is enjoyable. Learning and experiencing Bad Things is especially nice given his patron. Consistently, Elias' setbacks are met with interest, or a mild annoyance that then eventually settles into satisfaction because they are also new experiences for him and the Eye: going to jail, getting to psychologically torture Martin, having his own secrets exposed. There's a lot throughout the series to imply that Elias enjoys watching Jon become the Key, not just because it means he's succeeding in his goals, but because there's genuine interest and pride in seeing him "grow" by Elias' standards. The repetition of "our world," "our patron," etc. implies a connection; the intention to experience this new world with another, to enjoy it rather than simply exist in it for the mere sake of existence. Elias is a man whose entire essence boils down to, "I NEED TO KNOW ALL THE THINGS, EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING, AND LIVE FOREVER WHILE ACHIEVING THAT, TO UNDERSTAND IT ALL SO I CAN CONTROL IT ALL AND HAVE A DAMN GOOD TIME IN THE PROCESS, EVEN WHILE I SUCCUMB TO THE PRIMAL FEAR THAT DRIVES ME I WILL PARADOXICALLY EMBRACE IT, AND YEAH THAT'S LARGELY BECAUSE I SERVE THE LITERAL GOD OF JUDGY SURVEILLANCE BUT ALSO THAT'S JUST ME."

So anyway, I keep thinking about how this characterization could intersect with S1-2 Jon: prickly, awkward, semi-isolated, desperate to be recognized by someone whose authority he believes in. AKA the boss who, at an unprecedented young age, rose to the top of the Institute they both work at, perceived by those around him as far less interesting than he actually is. Parallels, anyone? Imagine Jon getting to really talk to Elias, realizing how much he has to offer after 200 years of life (though of course he doesn't know that), and just constantly being blindsided by not just the knowledge, but the enthusiasm for everything he's learned and been through - the good and the horrifyingly awful that, despite himself, Jon is equally drawn to. Elias recognizes every quote Jon drops into a conversation and has another witty line to pair it with. He doesn't just indulge his nerdy rambles, but participates in them. He's refined in all the ways that Jon expects - books, opera, music, etc. - and also casually drops in references to acid trips and fucking orgies. Imagine an early series Jon who forms a strong bond with Elias outside of the web (ha x2) he's been weaving, becoming dependent on his friendship and just a little bit completely in love. Elias is inherently fascinating, but he's also just Some Guy, and the combination of that is just perfect for a necrotic Archivist who simultaneously wants to be guided by his 'betters' and prove that he's an equal. Why Elias would be interested in turn barely needs stating: Jon is literally Elias' everything, in a horrifyingly tragic and like, Gothic Romance sense? What would that kind of relationship have changed? It would have likely made Elias' job even easier, but what about Jon?

...I'm not saying that Jon's drive to protect humanity would have been warped into something tragically dangerous if he'd first come to see his intelligent, complex, shockingly kind (from his nonexistent self-esteem POV), secretly-an-eldritch-monster boss as the epitome of humanity... but I'm also not saying it couldn't have!

[edwardwonghaupepelutivrusky4th]

wah i looove their designs and animation...

[sysig]

He was a human pirate, which you wouldn’t think you’d have to specify and yet (Patreon)

[kloss-karliee]

hearing his voice behind her, a bit of relief washed over her. "yeah, it's fine, i found the popcorn. i don't do that often, i swear. i'm normally a super calm human being. but... i couldn't find the popcorn!" she laughed nervously, thinking that she probably sounded like a crazy person.

"Oliver, it's fine. i get it, trust me, i do. you don't have to apologize. i promise i'm nothing special. i'm just me." she grabbed her glass of wine & took a good sip as she listened to his words. as he spoke her cheeks got flush. she had never heard anyone talk about her like that, with such sincerity & determination. this man truly wanted to get to know her & although they had just met, she felt like she wanted him to know her. she almost felt as if he had known her for the longest time. he just fit so perfectly in her life. it was fast, she couldn't deny that but she had never met someone so wonderful. she used to think that about Joshua but this somehow felt different. which was terrible to think because that was the father of her children. shaking that thought she opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it.

"I think this is a first... i honestly don't know what to say!" she spoke though a bit of a laugh. "that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. i am at a loss for how i can even respond. it's just so sweet! taking things slow is probably the best option. i have a lot of... well, i wouldn't call them baggage, but that's what others would. i just don't want you to jump head first into this pool & regret it while you're on the plane going back to L.A.." as she said this she sauntered up towards him, giving him a small, gentle peck on his lips. "i just don't want you to regret anything that happens here." Karlie was nothing if not a kind hearted, caring, & she wanted nothing more than for the people she loved.

his statement about needing a drink made her laugh "sure! i can try to hunt down that whiskey. unless you'll be cool with a glass of wine. i've got plenty of that & i know right where it is." she spoke as she quickly topped off her glass off before throwing the popcorn bag into the microwave as she awaited his answer.

"Is everything okay?" Oliver asks softly once he really saw her. "I heard shouting..." He moved towards her and gave her a small smile, his hands in the pockets of his sweats. "About um what happened in the guest room... I want to apologize again. This is a new thing for me... at least um in recent years... And you... god I don't know what it is about you but you make my whole brain just shut down completely." Oliver cleared his throat.

"You want honesty and I'll be that with you, all I want to do is drink you in if that makes any sense. My body is craving you, I've never really felt that before. It's not like a lust thing either, because that I'm used it. It's like... I don't even know the word for it, which is crazy because I've just met you but all I want to do is be in the apartment and learn everything about you. Both mentally and psychically. I want to know what makes you ticks and how you feel in my arms. It's like I taste of you and now I need more. I know that I might feel this way and you might not which is totally fine and I totally okay with going at the speed in which you want to go. I am going to take the cue for how the rest of this weekend goes from you."

Oliver could feel his heart beating so fast he was sure it would pop out of chest. Yet he felt a big weight lift off his shoulders, he managed to get out what he was thinking in a kind of wordy way but hey at least he did it. He looked at the wine glass "I could really use a drink now" He laughed softly, moving his hand through his hair.

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[apparitionsofbaddecisions]

i'm excited to see how the story unfolds regardless of course but

inhales BUT i so so SOO hope that he's not eventually revealed to be like a Copy of a human who created the circus, or directly related to any human origin at all outside of having been created by one. i hope beyond hope that cai/ne really is entirely artificial in source/origin, and that his devotion to the circus and to the adventures is just sort of a combination of some lingering and very confusing/impossible-to-extricate affection for the original creator AND the programming instilled in him by them to just inherently find the continuing existence of the circus Important Above All Else

it's just running in the background for him at all times. the meaning, the purpose, behind the circus was important to his creator. he doesn't know why, and he doesn't have to know why, bc his creator was important to him, and what was important to them is now also important to him, and he'll do whatever he can to keep it alive in their stead bc of that

he has no other purpose than that. he can't have any other purpose than that. he can't exist outside of the circus in the first place

[smile-files]

(insane person voice) this teardrop gjinka. THIS teardrop gjinka. yes this one will be the good one

[winepresswrath]

drusilla's canon grandma kink is a thing that can be so charming & unhinged.

[fragmentedblade]

Insane that Blade during Todd's quest did basically the same thing Dan Heng was doing during this last video