#I'm not out here making fun of Christians | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ariestrxsh · 3 months ago

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𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 content warning: smut, quite a bit of fluff, innocence corruption, masturbation, use of toys, getting caught, handjob (kinda), voyeurism/exhibitionism, religious kink, sexualization of religious imagery, slow burn, mommy kink (sorry lol), sub!virgin!matt, experienced!pervy!reader

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 author's note: dont read this if you're religious - it will offend you. this is part two of me & u. you can read part one here. 💖 there will be more parts to this story, so stick around. also, disclaimer: don't spy on people and watch them without their permission. 😭 this is just fantasy.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 summary: after getting to know and hanging out with the innocent, virgin christian boy who recently moved in next door, he starts exploring his sexuality with you, and the two of you start falling in love with each other.

me & u part two

"Your mom wasn't mad that you were smoking, was she?" Matt timidly asked you through the phone later on that day as he was rifling through kitchen appliances and finding a place to store them.

"No, I'm an adult. She doesn't care what I do. She was calling me in for lunch," you snorted, tugging at a loose thread on your blanket while you laid on your bed, still in your fairy dress and laying down with your feet kicking behind you.

Matt was thankful your mom wasn't upset with you, but he was annoyed that your first kiss with him was interrupted by something as menial as lunch.

"Well, what did you eat?" Matt wondered, trying to find a way to ask you to hang out again. "Just a sandwich and some macaroni," you told him. "W-what kind of sandwich?" Matt stammered, beating around the bush.

"Did you really call me to hear me talk about a turkey sandwich?" You chuckled. "I mean, I wanted to hear about your sandwich and to see if you wanted to hang out again," Matt shyly replied, biting his nails.

"Depends. What did you have in mind?" You inquired, teasing him and knowing you were going to say yes regardless of what he suggested the two of you do.

"We could go buy paint for my room. You could help me pick out a color," Matt said, hoping you'd say yes. "I'd love that. I'll be over soon. I just need to shower and get out of these clothes," you replied, smiling at how cute Matt sounded through the phone.

He couldn't help but picture you slipping out of your fairy dress.

"O-okay. Cool, I-I'll see you soon," Matt tripped over his words as you two hung up the phone. You put on a black tank top and a pair of jean shorts after your hasty shower, and you hurried over, eager to see Matt again.

You knocked on his door and patiently waited for him to answer. He was in a solid black t-shirt and jeans, and he was wearing a silver chain around his neck with a cross on it. "Ready to go?" You asked him, looking him up and down. "Yeah, let's go," Matt said, smiling at you and pulling his front door closed behind him.

On the ride to go pick out paint, Matt kept stealing glances at you at stoplights and stop signs, wondering if it would be the right time to try and re-do your first kiss, but every time he thought about leaning in, it felt too forced.

You could feel this, the way he was desperately looking for a chance to press his lips against yours, but you knew the perfect time would come again, and you didn't want to rush it.

You liked making him wait, but this didn't mean you weren't going to relentlessly tease him.

"Are you dying to hear how hard I came with my new toy?" You smirked over at Matt who looked back over at you wide-eyed. "Y-you already used it?" Matt studdered. "No. But I figured you were wondering if I had," you teased him. He blushed and grinned.

"I actually wanted to wait until I could use it in front of you," you admitted, your voice dripping with lust as you peered over at him and raised an eyebrow. "W-what?" He struggled to get out.

It was far too much fun to watch him blush and fidget. You couldn't get enough of his flushed, pink cheeks, his puppy dog eyes, and the desperate expression that would subtly make itself known everytime you'd tease him. And you knew just what to do and say to elicit these kinds of responses from him.

Once you guys stumbled upon a local store that sold paint, the two of you wandered over to the earth tones. "Now, really take your time making this decision. This is going to be the color of the paint in your room. You're going to have to see it every day," you told Matt when you saw all the different options they had.

Matt was scanning through different swatches of all the cool-toned paints when one caught his attention. "I like this one," he told you, pointing at the dark green shade on the page. "I love that color," you responded, taking the swatch from him and looking on the wall for the matching paint. "I think I found it," you told him, smiling and picking up a bucket.

Matt grabbed a second bucket of paint, a few paint brushes, some plastic covering, and the two of you paid for it all and left the store. "I'm so excited," Matt told you, his eyes lighting up as he spoke.

The two of you rode home in a comfortable silence, and you helped Matt carry the paint up the stairs to his room. You two decided to go your separate ways for the night to go eat dinner and get ready for bed, so you'd be well-rested for the next day.

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon line, illuminating the summer evening as Matt walked you to your doorstep. "I had fun with you today," Matt told you, his eyes fixed on yours. "I did, too," you replied.

"Maybe tomorrow you could paint it with me. You know, unless you have other plans," Matt shrugged, trying to hide how disappointed he would be if you did. "You know, I'm sorry. I'm busy tomorrow. I'm helping the hot neighbor boy paint his room," you jokingly replied.

He chuckled at your response, and then he pulled you into a long hug. You smiled against his chest, savoring how it felt to hold him, and when you went to pull away, you glanced up at him lovingly.

The two of you felt that familiar magnetic pull, and he leaned down until his lips were gently locked onto yours. His kiss was soft and tender, like his personality, and you both felt that spark that you'd always heard people talk about but hadn't experienced up until this point.

He reached up and cradled your face, lightly running his thumb back and forth over your cheek. Your tongue gently swirled around against his, and for how inexperienced he was, he was an incredible kisser. He moaned against your lip before the two of you slowly pulled away.

You were both even more smitten than before. Matt blushed, and you let out a soft giggle. "I'll see you tomorrow," you whispered as you slipped into your front door.

Matt stayed put on your porch for a few minutes, buzzing from the intimate moment he'd just shared with you, and he slowly made his way back to his house, tucking his erection into his waistband that he got from kissing you.

Later that night, after eating a delicious dinner, taking a steamy shower, and brushing your teeth, you switched out your lamp and got into your warm bed. A few seconds after you climbed into your bed to finish off your day, Matt's light came on across the way.

You watched again as he stepped out of his bathroom in just a towel, running his fingers through his wet hair. He looked so hot. You held your breath as the fabric around his waist hit the floor.

You'd imagined Matt naked at least a dozen times since you'd met him, and you were finally seeing it in person. And although you weren't getting a close-up view, you could see his hard member standing at attention. And it was big.

You didn't believe in God, but you did thank whoever was out there listening as you watched Matt climb onto his bed, lay on top of his blanket, and begin to stroke himself.

You hoped he was thinking about you, and he was. He was replaying the moment you two had kissed.

You continued peering in through his window, admiring the way he tenderly ran his thumb over the tip, causing him to throw his head back. He kept his movements slow and drawn out at first, teasing himself.

You couldn't hear the sounds he was making, but you couldn't stop imagining his needy little whimpers. You intently focused on the way he fisted his gorgeous cock, guiding his hand up and down his shaft and his strokes becoming faster, rougher, and more urgent.

You spied on him for several minutes, unable to shift your gaze away from the glorious sight of the cute neighbor boy all alone in his room, tugging on his dick. Your pussy began throbbing and drooling without you even touching it as you kept your eyes locked on Matt and what he was doing to himself.

He started to squirm around beneath his own touch, bucking his hips up, and you watched in awe as several spurts of cum shot out of his tip and painted his stomach and chest.

His hand that was gliding up and down his length slowed to a stop, and he took the towel he'd just used after his shower to wipe himself off. Even the way he cleaned up the mess he made was incredibly sexy.

He put on a pair of pajama pants once he was finished and knelt down by the foot of his bed to pray. The show he put on for you was so hot and naughty that you almost wondered if you should start praying for forgiveness.

Before you could follow that thought too deeply or do anything about the wetness that had pooled between your legs, you found yourself drifting off to sleep while more images of Matt flooded your mind.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

The next morning at about 5 a.m., you groggily rubbed your eyes and let out a yawn. You checked your phone for the time, and when you realized how early it was, you rolled over onto your other side and shut your eyes, hoping to be able to fall back asleep.

When all your efforts failed, you decided to go up to your treehouse, bringing a thin blanket with you for a morning marijuana and masturbation session - the two things that always helped you fall asleep.

You admired the way the sunrise lit up the view from your secret hideaway while you exhaled weed smoke, watching the way it danced and dissipated against the scenery before you. A tranquil state came over you, and you felt all light and airy after a few hits.

Being cautious not to burn yourself with the lit end of your joint, you shimmied out of your underwear and your pajama shorts and spread open your legs. You took your new suction vibrator, turned it on, and gasped as you lowered the buzzing toy onto your clit. It was unlike any vibrator you'd owned before, and it immediately had you moaning and shuddering at the sensation.

"Oh, Matt.." you softly whined over and over while you remembered the night before and the way you'd witnessed him make a mess all over himself. You took another puff from your joint. You were so enthralled by the stimulation and so lost in the way you were needily whining the neighbor boy's name, you didn't realize the man of your fantasies had followed you up to your treehouse and was watching you the same way you'd watched him.

He was already crawling in through the entrance before he realized he was intruding on an intimate moment you were having with yourself. He thought about clearing his throat or forcing out a cough to make his presence known, maybe even turning around and leaving before he could embarrass you, but he held his breath, and all he could do was stay put and admire how pretty and wet your pink pussy was.

It was the first time he'd ever seen anything like it in person, and he couldn't get enough. He grew incredibly hard as he studied the way your eyes were slammed shut and the needy and pleasured expression that overcame your face while you held your lit joint up to your parted lips. "Oh, Matt.." you whimpered again after exhaling the smoke, your legs beginning to quiver.

To Matt's horror, you opened your eyes, and while you were shocked that he was watching you, you didn't stop. "I-I'm so sorry. I woke up and looked out my window, and I saw you going to your treehouse. I thought you could use some company. I had no idea you were-" Matt started defending himself, but you cut him off.

"Shh. Please don't go. It feels so good to have you watching me," you whined with the vibrator still resting on your clit. "You're moaning my name an awful lot.." Matt murmured with his eyes fixated on the treasure between your thighs. You took another hit and slowly nodded at him.

"You like watching, don't you, naughty boy?" You managed to get out between your satisfied mewls. "I do, mommy," Matt whispered back, palming himself through the thin flannel fabric he had on. The way it sounded when Matt called you mommy sent waves of pleasure throughout your whole body. You couldn't take it anymore.

The way he peered down at your pussy with his puppy dog eyes, whimpering alongside you while you were playing with it was too good, and your whole body violently shook as you let out a few more needy moans.

"Holy shit," you and Matt both said in unison as your cum slowly leaked out of your pussy. "Did you just swear?" You asked wide-eyed and sneering at the innocent boy, turning off your toy. He threw his hand over his mouth, giving you a deer in the headlights look. "I-I didn't mean to," he stumbled over his words.

"Naughty, naughty boy," you seductively responded, putting out the joint and shaking your head. You noticed the wet spot on the front of Matt's flannel pajamas. "Did you finish just from watching me?" Your lips curled into a malicious grin. "I mean. I rubbed it a little through my pants, but yeah," Matt said in an embarrassed tone, looking down like he was ashamed.

"Come here, pretty boy," you gestured towards him. You pulled him close and pulled the thin blanket over the both of you. You guys looked into each other's eyes and shared another kiss, each of your lips touching and creating a circuit through which an electric feeling ran through your bodies.

You loved kissing Matt, and he loved kissing you. It was unlike any feeling either of you had felt before. You pulled him in even closer, and the two of you fell asleep in each other's arms in your treehouse as the sun came up.

A couple hours later, you woke up on the hard floor of your treehouse next to the cute neighbor boy who was softly snoring next to you. You didn't want to wake him because he was sleeping so soundly, but all it took was a subtle movement from you, and he began to stir.

"Morning," he softly groaned as he opened his eyes and stretched his arms out overhead. "I had fun with you earlier," you whispered to him, biting your lip. He smiled at you, his cheeks turning pink. "I did, too."

He couldn't get the image of you touching yourself out of his head. All he could think about was your pretty pink flower between your legs and the sound of his name escaping your soft lips.

Like he was most mornings when he first woke up, he was incredibly hard, and he subtly tucked his erection into his waistband, hoping you wouldn't notice, but you did.

"How about we both go change and get ready for the day? Then we can go get coffee? I'll buy," you asked Matt, gently running your fingers across his chest. "Yeah, sure," he whispered. The two of you went your separate ways for a bit, sharing another kiss before you did.

When you got back to your house, you showered, washed your face, and climbed into a pair of washed-out jean shorts and a baggy t-shirt that you wouldn't mind getting paint on. You grabbed a granola bar and an apple on your way out, skipping over to the neighbor boy's house.

Before you could even knock on his door, Matt was turning the knob and stepping out onto his porch. "Hey, long time no see," you told him, eyeing him up and down. He was wearing a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, and your opened your eyes wide when you realized you could see the faint outline of his cock through the cotton fabric.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Matt asked, teasing you. "You wore these on purpose, didn't you? You little temptress," you responded, nibbling on your lip. "I don't know what you're talking about," Matt casually responded, playing dumb and smirking to himself.

"Why'd you wear something so revealing then, hmm?" You wondered. "Why are you looking, perv?" Matt chuckled, getting into his orange truck.

The two of you started off down the road towards the nearest coffee shop, and as Matt drove, a naughty idea crossed your mind. You peered over at him, running your fingers along the inside of his thigh as he blew through a stop sign due to you distracting him.

He subtly gasped as you grazed his cock that was beginning to harden. It was the first time he'd ever been touched by anyone but himself. "W-what if God's watching?" Matt nervously questioned. "Then God's a little freak," you whispered back, sneering at him.

"You can't say that about God," Matt gasped, peering over at you. "But I just did," you said, poking the inside of your teeth with your tongue. "Please.. do it again," he sweetly whined. "You like that?" You asked, gently squeezing it, eliciting a whimper from the cute boy beside you. He bit his lip and shook his head yes.

"You better keep your eyes on the road, baby," you whispered, gently caressing it with your nails through the grey cotton that was beginning to strain. Before you knew it, the reactions you were getting from Matt as you teased his sensitive dick were getting to you. You felt your panties become all wet and sticky as Matt softly moaned beside you, using all his strength to pay attention to the road.

He approached a red light and gripped the steering wheel for dear life before letting out a loud groan. "Naughty boy. Like when mommy plays with you?" You asked seductively, moving your hand back and forth faster. "Oh, yes, mommy," he cried out.

He couldn't stop what was about to happen next. It was the first time anyone besides himself had ever given him that incredible release, and he let out a desperate mewl as he coated the inside of his pant leg with his cum.

"Wow. That was fast," you teased him. He looked over at you breathlessly with his glazed over blue eyes. "I tried to hold back as much as I could. I'm sorry," Matt responded quietly in a shameful tone, looking down at the mess he'd made in his sweats. "I know you did, baby. You did so good for me," you whispered, cradling his face and looking at him sympathetically.

The light switched to green, and he continued driving, embarrassed by how quickly he'd finished. "Well, I guess we're going through the drive thru," Matt stated, still blushing at the obvious wet spot.

He ordered the two of you coffee from the driver's side, for you, a frozen caramel drink and for himself, a black coffee, and you paid for it like you said you would. Matt thanked you for the coffee as well as the over-the-pants handjob you'd given him, and the two you made your way back to Matt's to get started on painting his room.

When you arrived back, you and Matt slipped into his house and up the stairs without alerting his dad, for which Matt was extremely grateful, so he wouldn't have to come up with an excuse as to why there was a questionable damp spot on the front of his sweats.

"I have to change my underwear for the second time today because of you. So scram," Matt told you, gesturing for you leave the room while he changed. "Oh, relax. I've already seen it," you shrugged and rolled your eyes.

"What?" Matt asked, widening his gaze in your direction. "Oh. Um," you innocently smiled at him. "What do you mean by that?" He asked. "I have a confession to make," you mumbled. Matt stayed quiet, but he looked at you intently, waiting for your admission.

You glanced across the way at your bedroom window. "So, my room is right there, and I can kind of see everything you do from the comfort of my bed," you pointed at the spot you watched him from last night, smirking and recalling how good he looked while getting off.

"You've been spying on me?" Matt asked accusingly, narrowing his blue eyes at you. "Not spying! I just happened to look up, and you dropped your towel," you said defensively.

"Oh, no. Did you see anything else?" Matt nibbled on his lip and shot you a nervous expression. "I might have watched you jerk off," you snickered. "I can't believe you watched me!" Matt exclaimed, feeling violated.

"And you're telling me that this morning when you walked in on me in my treehouse that you wouldn't have watched me until I finished if I didn't know you could see me?" You raised an eyebrow at him and crossed your arms. "Ugh. Fine. I guess I get it," Matt voice became softer as he realized his hypocrisy.

"Plus, I thought it was really hot," you said in a lustful voice while your gaze was fixed on his pink lips. "I'm still changing in the bathroom," Matt smiled at you, grabbing a change of clothes and heading into the other room, loudly locking the door behind him.

When he came back out, he was in some old jeans that already had some paint on them. The two of you started opening up the cans and setting down plastic and newspapers to keep the paint off the floor. Matt knew he was going to love the color the second he dipped the brush in the dark green liquid and began stirring it around.

"Oh my god. It's gonna look so good!" You told Matt after you painted a stripe on the white wall. "I already love it. Especially because we're painting it together," he looked over at you and grinned. You continued coating the wall in the first layer of dark green while you and Matt talked.

"So, did you write in your diary about me last night?" You teased him. "Shut up," he scoffed at you. "That's no way to talk to a lady," you said, taking your brush and slapping paint onto his arm. He gasped and pulled back.

"Oh, there's nothing lady-like about you," Matt replied, taking his paint brush and touching your face with it. You looked at him in disbelief. "You're right. You're more of a lady than me," you said, sticking your hand in the paint and slapping Matt on the ass, leaving a dark green handprint on his back pocket.

The two of you started laughing until your cheeks hurt and your stomachs started aching. Matt pulled you into another kiss, and you smiled against his soft lips as the two of you explored the inside of each other's mouths, leaving one another with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Before the two of you could get too carried away, Matt broke off the kiss, and you got back to painting until you'd covered every wall in an even coat of dark green. You guys looked at each other, proud of the work you'd done together.

"You know, I don't usually fall for people this easy, but I really like you," you admitted to Matt once the two of you had finished and were sitting on his plastic-covered floor. "I don't usually fall for weed-smoking peeping toms, but I like you, too," Matt teased you.

part three posted 💖

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writting-stuff-sometimes · 3 months ago

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Night in Vegas- Lando x fem reader

Summary: Y/N had been Lando's PR, it had been messy and she moved to Red Bull, but maybe things were not as bad as she thought.

Warnings: Abusive Max (Sorry someone had to be the bad guy) smutty ending.

Notes: No hate to anyone this story just needed a villain.

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The moment the job offer came from Red Bull you didn't think it twice. You had been Lando's PR for the last 2 years, which was kind of a nightmare. He had the worst cases of verbal diarrhea, not that Max didn't but the paycheck was worth the extra work. Also, the interactions with Lando had always been weird and uncomfortable.

He was so nice and funny around everyone else but you, whenever it was just you two, you could hear the grass grow. In the beginning, you tried to get to know him, create somewhat of a bond so you could understand him better and work around that info, but every time you tried to get him to tell you something about him he would shut you out, keeping his answers short and dry.

And here you were, your first six months as Max PR agent were...interesting, he was a master in driving but thanks to his dad and the people around him, his public image was a challenge, a challenge you loved to work, at least you did until he started showing his real self. It began with small tantrums, mood swings when an interview had been scheduled when he had agreed to go play paddle, or that one time on a bad day when a reporter asked him about his dad's history with the law even when you had precisely warned them not to ask about any of that.

But that was all fun and games until tonight's event for the Vegas GP. Usually, the US GP's parties were a nightmare. Tons and tons of media people and influencers with little idea about F1. Yet they were important to attend because of the amount of rich people the teams craved as their lawful sponsors, so all the drivers were requested to go. This meant an awful fight with Max who hated these events where he had to "prostitute" himself for a couple of millions, it was particularly tricky now that some pictures and supposed messages showing Kelly might have been cheating, surfaced. You promised him to warn everybody that any questions about his personal life were off the table for any of the interviews, but American media cared little about that.

"Are you stupid or something?" His angry voice was so much like his dad's. Dry, hurtful, and insulting even when he wasn't using big curse words.

"Max, I told everyone personal questions were off the table. I sent a memo last week and a reminder this morning" You walked following him closely as he exited the event venue. Your heels making it difficult for you to keep his pace.

"I don't care!" He stopped and turned towards you abruptly, making you crash against his body. "If Christian gives me any shit about not being here I will make sure he knows this was all your fault" His voice loud and angry felt even more intimidating as he was towering over you, his red face so close to yours you could feel the heat radiate from it.

"But-"

"Shut it, I don't want to hear it" He spat.

"Hey, mate, easy" You both turned to look at the curled hair driver approaching at a firm pace.

"Lando, this has nothing to do with you"

"It does when you're talking like that to Y/N" He gently held your arm pulling you back, placing himself between you and Max.

"How did you deal with this shit for two years? she's the worst"

"I disagree, she's the best"

"What? Why are you defending her?" Max looked in shock from Lando's intervention, and to be honest, so were you.

"Because I know the mess you are and you talking to her like that is unacceptable and most likely uncalled for. We should've never let her go, I've begging Zak to get her back and after this, there's no way I'm letting her stay at RB"

"What the fuck? I don't...Wait, did you two ...? She must be a good fuck if you want her back so bad" A bitter laugh left his chest.

There it was, the angry verbal diarrhea.

You wanted to jump in and tell him you had never even crossed two complete phrases with Lando, how the hell were you going to fuck him? But no sound left your body, you were just a passenger in this trainwreck.

"Max, come on, It's not her fault your life's a fucking mess and that you have no idea how to deal with it. And take it from me, mate, you don't need a PR manager, you need a therapist."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Max took a couple of steps forward and faced Lando menacingly. He wasn't much taller than the Brit but seemed angry enough to cause damage.

"This is enough" You finally spoke, your voice shaky as you grabbed Lando's arm trying to pull him back. But he didn't move an inch.

"I'm not afraid of you mate" Lando hissed.

"Ok enough" You said in the most motherly voice ever and stepped in between them. "Lando, thanks but that's enough. You two don't want to do or say anything you'll regret later"

"See you on the track, mate" Said Lando as he took your hand and pulled you toward the parking lot.

You walked with him still in shock from the situation, expecting for him to let go of your hand as soon as you were out of sight from Max, but he kept going until he reached the Valet and gave him his ticket.

"Thanks fo that" You tried breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I think I need to go back there tho, I might not have a job tomorrow, but I don't need them to fire me because of not complying with my duties, Maybe I can find Max and convince him-"

"If they don't fire you, you're quitting" He said as he typed on his phone.

"What?! No, I can't do that, I can't afford to lose my job"

"You'll have a job"His voice was confident as he kept typing.

"Lando, I really-"

"Your car, Mr.Norris" The valet cut you off opening the passenger door for you.

"Get in" Lando walked toward the door to hold it himself.

"Lan-"

"Get in... please" He finally looked at you, something in his eyes telling you to do it. Not wanting to perform another scene now in front of the valet, you got inside the fancy McLaren. Your feet thanked you for the much-needed rest after the little sprint.

He removed his suit jacket, got in the driver's side, and drove off.

"I swear, you're not going to be jobless, you can stop with the bouncy leg" A hint of a laugh in his voice. Of course, he could laugh about it, he was worth millions, if he lost his job that same night, he'd have enough money to live comfortably for two lives.

Your phone started ringing in your bag. Chirstian's face on your screen made your heart beat a thousand miles. You could almost hear him, his calm yet angry voice made your skin crawl.

"Don't answer him, there's no need"

"Lando, you don't get it, it's not that simple"

A ding on his phone and a pop-up notification on his console screen called your attention.

Zak: Fine, I'm ok with it, we can talk details tomorrow.

"See?" He said smiling at the notification. You stared at him confused.

"I promised him I would behave my best for the rest of my contract if they took you back. Welcome back to Mclaren" A big smile on his face. It was odd being on the receiving end of that smile.

"Sadly, you won't be working with me. You will be part of the team's PR, I think that's an even bigger paycheck, tho"

"Ok, stop stop stop" Your voice filled with slight panic. "What the fuck's happening?"

"Wow, your first bad word" He was way too entertained with the situation.

"That you know of" Your facade was off, screw being professional, this moment was a moment for panic.

Christian's number shined on your screen again.

"Hello" You finally answered.

"Y/N, I just got a thousand messages from Max, and from the team at the event, what's going on?"

"Christian, Max lost it after some journalist asked him about Kelly, I had clearly said no questions about that were allowed"

"You should not have left Max to leave the party, we need him back there"

"I tried to stop him but-"

"No buts, Y/n, that's your job"

"No"

"What?"

"No, that's not my job, I'm not a babysitter, I'm a PR agent, I should not be dealing with tantrums and the equivalent of being spit in the face by an angry baby just because he's Max Verstappen"

You took a deep breath as the man on the other side of the phone kept quiet. Netflix would kill to have footage of this situation.

"I quit" You finally said

"What?" His high-pitched voice told you he was as surprised as you by the words leaving your mouth. You turned to look a Lando, he had the biggest smile on his face.

"I quit, Christian. I can stop by to sign my resignation tomorrow."

"But-"

"I'm sorry but I have to go now. I will stop by your office tomorrow to sign whatever is needed and to return my credentials. Have a good night" You hung up with shaky hands. As much as you sounded confident you were screaming inside.

"Nice" Lando's accent so thick.

"Oh my God" You placed your head between your legs and took deep breaths, trying not to faint.

"It's ok, it will all be ok" You felt his hand run softly up and down your back which felt weirdly soothing and calming.

You finally felt calm enough to lift your head, realizing he had pulled over at a truck stop next to the highway.

"What the fuck just happened?" You closed your eyes, the world felt as if it was spinning out of orbit.

"It will be ok, you were amazing"

"I will regret this tomorrow"

"I could help you with that" he said under his breath, you barely catching his words.

"What?"

"Never mind. Listen, you'll be fine, you'll join the team for the next season, and you can take this time as a well-deserved vacation"

"What are you talking about? Maybe Zak only told you that so you would stop bothering him. I can't wait until the next season. Oh my God, I need to call Christian back, if I apologize and explain that I was drunk or something he might not fire me" you said as you fumbled with your phone trying to get your shaky hands to get your calls.

"Stop, no, Y/n" In a swift move, Lando took your phone from your hand.

"Give it back! This is all your fault!"

"What?!"

"If you had stayed out of this I might have convinced Max to go back to the party and none of this had happened" You said as you almost jumped over him to get your phone back as he moved his hand around keeping you away from it.

"Oh c'mon, you wouldn't have lasted two more weeks with his annoying ass, I love Max but he's a pain" He sounded way too entertained by all this.

"Lando, stop it! Give me back my phone!"

"No, you have to calm down"

"No, give it back" you were almost kneeling over the seat.

"Y/n, stop"

"No"

"Y/n!"

"NO, GIVE IT-" Before you could finish your sentence his free hand grabbed you from your neck and pulled you toward him, his lips crashed into yours, finally getting you to stop moving. You even stopped breathing.

After a couple of seconds or hours, you weren't sure anymore, he let go of the fist he had formed around your hair and pulled back. His cheeks flushed as if he had been the one who had gotten kissed out of nowhere.

"Have I been drugged? Am I hallucinating? This has to be a weird trip"

His particular laugh sent chills down your spine.

"C'mon, it wasn't my best job but I'm not used to kissing people as they're having a panic attack, I needed you to calm down"

"And kissing me was the best you could come up with?"

"You're not thinking about your phone or Christian anymore, are you?"

"You're sick"

"Listen, I'm sorry I did it like that, ok? I stepped over a boundary and I apologize, but I know that after this you might hate me for the rest of your life and this seemed like the only moment I was going to be able to do it, so I'm sorry but not really"

"You can't go around kissing people just because"

"I didn't do it just because"

"What?"

"Y/N, I'm fucking in love with you!" He screamed.

"What?" Your voice is barely a whisper

"I'm sorry, I was dumb ok?"

"I'm not getting any of this"

"Ok, I'll explain. It took me about 2 months to fall head over heels for you, ok? You're smart, incredibly beautiful, funny, and so good at your job, it was hard not to fall in love with you. But I know I can be an asshole, so trying to stay away from you and not ruin everything I behaved like an even bigger asshole, pushing you away and into Red Bull's arms. So as an apology, I've been having talks with Zak. this has been going on for months. So no this just didn't come up, Max just made it easier for me to set the plan in motion"

You stared at his proud face in awe.

"Are you breathing?" He asked when not. single sound had left your body for a long time.

"You're in love with me?"

"Um yeah" He blushed and almost looked away but he didn't.

"For the two years we worked together, you were in love with me?"

"Yeah, basically"

"You have a shitty way of showing love"

"Sorry" he laughed under his breath

"You're nuts"

"I know" As soon as he saw you had calmed down he stretched his hand softly caressing your cheek. "I'm nuts for you"

"Ew, don't"

He laughed, the sound making you feel something new.

"I don't know"

"What?"

"What's going on"

"Maybe another kiss might help? I'm actually asking this time"

"Ok" You answered in a low whisper.

"Ok" He softly whispered as he took you by the neck, and pulled you toward him. It was a mutual kiss now, your lips dancing with his. His tongue traced your lips and they parted allowing your tongue to start a fight with his.

The kiss heated up as his other hand grabbed your hips and pulled you over him. Your ass pressed on the horn startling both of you and making you laugh, but quickly you returned to your make-out session.

His hand shily traveled down your spine and stopped over the soft satin fabric covering your ass. You knew exactly what he was trying to test, so you moved yours down his chest, feeling his racing heart, and traveled down all the way to his pants. You could feel his growing bulge and you gave it a squeeze. He moaned deeply and he gave a slap to your ass, making you moan too.

You were about to unbuckle his belt but his hand landed over yours.

"Wait, do you actually want to do this?" he asked out of breath.

"Yes" Your voice shaky from the excitement.

"Are you sure? I don't want to force you or-"

"Lando, I want you to fuck me"

Your words sent an electric shock through his body, you could even feel his dick twitch under your hand.

"I'm all yours" He smiled and moved his lips to your neck, you threw your head back giving him space to explore it and its sensitive areas. He gave soft bites around it, as he stretched to the glove compartment getting a condom out of it.

"You're a manwhore"

"I was just manifesting this"

"Sure" you answered squinting your eyes.

"I promise, You can ask Oscar, I've not had sex for months"

"I don't need to know that"

"Yeah you do, I swear I wasn't going to use this with anyone else, I promise"

He was most likely lying, but you decided to believe him, at least for tonight.

"Fine" You said as you took the condom from his hand and opened it as your lips went back to his.

He helped you by pulling down his pants and his boxers enough for his throbbing cock to spring out and slap his stomach.

"Hello Mr. Norris" You said with a cheeky smile

"Don't act so surprised"

"Sorry"

He now took the hem of your dark blue dress and pulled it over your hips, softly caressing the soft flesh of your thighs and ass. He moaned at the feeling of no underwear under it.

"You're naughty"

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me"

"I love it" He said and bit your lower lip as he placed you over his hard cock. You took the condom and without breaking the kiss you rolled it over his dick, enjoying the feeling of the heat and the veins that ran through it.

He couldn't wait any longer and as soon as he felt the condom in place he lifted his hips entering you in one deep thrust making you moan loudly from the incredible feeling of being so full.

"Fuck, Lando" you said as he started thrusting. A slow yet hard pace made your eyes roll to the back of your head, as he held you one hand by the neck the other one caressing your ass.

"Fuck, you're so fucking perfect" He moaned against your tits that were spilling out your dress.

He took one of your nipples in his mouth, pushing you closer to your release.

You had forgotten when was the last time you had sex, but none of your previous experiences could compare to this one. Lando being a manwhore was quite a benefit.

His hips hitting against yours at such a perfect pace was driving you crazy. He could tell by the way you were pulsing around him that you were close. This was probably a record and he was going to savor it.

He brought one of his hands down to your clit and just a couple of circles helped by how wet you were pushed you over the edge, loudly moaning his name in his ear. That sweet sound looped in his brain, making him reach his climax shortly after.

"Fuck" he finally said after you two had reached a decent breathing pace.

"Shit"

"Fourth curse word of the night"

"Shut it" You said as you pushed yourself off his chest and kissed him.

"I'm going to love having you around again"

"Me too"

"Well, Max was right about one thing" A cheeky grin on his face.

"What?"

"You're such a good fuck"

"You're a dick" You slapped his chest as he pulled you back to kiss him.

This was probably going to be a mess, but at least for a couple of months you were unemployed and free to date whoever you wanted, that included F1 drivers who would probably be off limits once your contract started, but that was a problem for your versions of the future.

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec, @ironmaiden1313, @formulas-bitch,

#f1 fiction #f1 imagine #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #f1 x reader #lando x y/n #f1 x y/n #lando norris fluff #f1 smut #lando norris smut

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pomefioredove · 8 months ago

Note

Saw you took specific requests. Here's mine:

Jamil with a religious reader who gives him a protection talisman.

Fun fact, prayer beads are used in multiple religions as they help count prayers (Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc).

So let's say reader comes from a world where magic exists but it's exclusively on religious grounds. Meaning if you wanna do magic you gotta pray to the right god or make a deal with some form of mythological creature.

Reader knows that Jamil's is always in danger due to the constant assassination attempts on Kalim, so they make a set of prayer beads and ask a diety to bless it in order to protect their boyfriend (could be Allah, Indra, Shiva, Buddha, Susanoo, whichever). Jamil accepts it and heads back home appreciating the sentiment but not really believing.

Except any form of danger keeps getting thwarted. Drink/food he's trying is poisoned? Conveniently spills over/has a whole in the bottom. Accident happens? Conveniently pushed out of the way. Someone tries to hurt him/kill him? Struck by lightning and straight up dies.

Not even his own parents are safe. They try to slap him to "discipline him" then they get zapped (lightly tho).

you know!!! I love this prompt so much... I'm a religious studies major so this kinda stuff is so ^w^ to me I get so excited.

summary: giving jamil a protection spell type of post: short fic characters: jamil additional info: reader is gender neutral, the existence of religious beliefs in twst is. confusing. so we're keeping it vague, not proofread, reader is yuu

Perhaps it was because your world was still considered "magicless" by Twisted Wonderland standards, or perhaps Jamil was never superstitious to begin with.

Either way, he wasn't exactly as excited as you'd been hoping for.

"It's nice. Did you make it yourself?" he asks, inspecting the beads. "A bracelet?"

"Prayer beads, actually. And yes, I did,"

"It's well made. What's the purpose?"

You hesitate. The nature of religion in this world is still confusing to you, although you can surmise there's got to be some kind of belief system. It's best not touching on for now.

Besides, Jamil has never been much of a believer in higher powers. For good reason.

"For protection," you explain. "Not that I think you can't handle yourself. But I worry about you over break, you know..."

He's quiet for a moment, inspecting the gift in the palm of his hand. And then he tucks the beads away in his pocket and smiles.

"I'll keep them with me, then. Thank you,"

Even if he's not exactly keen on the idea that these things will make his life any less terrible, they're from you.

And so he keeps his promise, and tucks them away after you part.

By the time he's "home" (back in Kalim's family home) he's all but forgotten about the little blessing at the bottom of his pocket. Not that you can really blame him- "vacation" is more of a title than a reality when he's back.

The first incident happens not even a day after.

The al-Asim summer mansion is certainly nothing to scoff at. Though it's only one of many, this one in particular houses a large sum of physical treasures, line with gold and ivory, stuffed full of spices and all the makings of a feast that could feed thousands, a shining jewel of the desert.

Jamil is not all that impressed.

Especially when it comes to navigating such an ornate building on orders. The polished-to-perfection floors present a challenge when you're carrying three crates worth of grain to the kitchen on the lowest floor.

Damn these stairs.

Though Jamil may not be a religious man, he still asks whatever deity may be up there to smite the slippery spiral staircase he's descending.

His arms strain to uphold the weight of the boxes, and his legs strain to keep a good footing on one of the many long and elaborate and narrow servant passages designed specifically so that the unwanted workers of the family can slip by undetected.

Quiet, diligent, and he has to be quick, too. Kalim is expecting him for a game in one of the many lounges soon.

Another unfortunate "vacation". How he'd much rather be spending it with you...

For a brief moment, Jamil swears he can feel the beads in his pocket warm against him, reminding him of their presence.

And then he slips.

The crates free themselves from his careful grasp and tumble down the stairs, creaking and thudding but mercifully staying intact.

Jamil, however, isn't made of wood. He winces as he feels himself tilting forward- and then... somehow, a strong draft pushes him on his back.

He lands just shy of his tailbone, luckily not hurting anything, except for his pride.

What a turn of luck.

The next happens at dinner.

Jamil keeps his earlier blunder to himself. His pride is damaged enough as it is, after all, and so he tries his best to conceal how shaken up the experience left him by moving swiftly across the kitchen.

"We have a dish ready for you to test," someone shouts.

He sighs. How many more evenings of this will he have to endure?

Though, he reminds himself- this may always be his last.

The thought makes Jamil chuckle as he's handed a hot dish and a clean fork. He can only stop to smell the roses for so long, so there's no chance of savoring such an exquisitely prepared meal before he's off to another part of the kitchen.

Just as the fork digs into the food, the dish slips out of his hand and shatters on the kitchen floor. Everyone falls silent.

His eyes widen. "How- ugh. My apologies,"

Now this is just getting ridiculous. How clumsy can he get in one evening? He's usually much more careful...

"Look," the head chef says, the whole kitchen crowding around the food as it dissolves.

Jamil's stomach lurches. Cyanide. It has to be. If he'd eaten that dish right there and then...

The kitchen is swiftly cleared out, and he's sent back to the lounge.

it only gets stranger from there.

What Jamil initially wrote off as clumsiness and luck seems to become a pattern-

a flying arrow at the archery range just narrowly misses him when he bends down to fix his sandal.

The al-Asim family tiger (because of course they have one) chooses to toy with a visiting prince rather than him in the courtyard.

A strong draft pushes him on his rear end seconds before a sandbag falls from an under-construction part of the mansion.

He would call it fortune if he believed in such a thing.

By the end of the vacation, everyone is absolutely perplexed by his string of good luck. Jamil isn't unfamiliar with how dangerous his family's position in life is, and he's had his fair share of injuries as a result, but this time all he has to show for it is a slightly lesser sense of annoyance than usual.

It's only the end of the trip where he ponders (unfortunately aloud) about the string of coincidences, and the beads in his pocket.

Kalim goes on to babble about Jamil's "good luck charm" to anyone who will listen, much to his annoyance.

"Oh, I want one too! Can you ask them to make me one, too?" he says, folding his hands in a pleading motion. "It's so pretty!"

"It was a gift. But... I suppose I can ask..." he sighs, and then smiles to himself.

Of course you'll come up with some excuse to say no. Because, for once, this charm is all his.

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #fun prompt! I liked it #queued

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foone · 3 months ago

Note

whats your favourite narnia book if you have one

Since I grew up as an autistic christian, I have many Narnia Opinions!

So, my favorite book for it's own reasons is probably The Magician's Nephew. I'm always a slut for worldbuilding and backstory and that novel is basically just only that. Some guy we know from another book goes on an adventure and in the process gets to be involved with the creation of one world and the destruction of another? kick-ass.

Best book to adapt? The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. 1988 BBC version, 1979 Cartoon version, 2005 theatrical? All good, in their own ways. The BBC version is just perfectly 80s and the costumes are amazing (because they are costumes! they did all the monsters by sticking a guy in a big costume and I love it), the cartoon version captures the fucking whimsy of a story where SANTA SHOWS UP AND GIVES EVERYONE PRESENTS and the first person to offer any serious lore about the situation is named MR BEAVER. And the 2005 film has the big battles and CGI and Tilda Swinton as the White Witch which is... so much. I love them all.

But the best book adaptation is the 1990 BBC The Silver Chair. Hands down. It's got Tom Baker's Puddleglum, Warwick Davis playing an owl, 0£ BBC budget greenscreened giants (MULTIPLE TIMES), a group of people discovering IT'S A COOKBOOK and one of them being offended by the cookbook saying they don't taste very good, the bad guy turning into a giant rubber snake. a witch trying to gaslight some humans into believing the sun is a myth, and the ultimate salvation of Eustace Scrubb: a boy who almost deserved being named that.

And since I can't not list basically everything Narnia ever made, BBC's 1989 Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is pretty good too. It's a fun "road movie", in that it's an odyssey into a fictional Mysterious Ocean of Here There Be Dragons.

Lotta hits in that one. It's also got a "collect the macguffins!" plot where they're trying to collect the Seven Lost Lords.

But yeah, it's like... the first Island gets them a lord and they get to end slavery. Next up, Dragon TF island (The dragon is Greed... but it's also just a literal fucking dragon). Next, Gold TF island. Gold, it turns out, makes you go insane in your lust for wealth, even if you're already a Prince of a whole country. The gold is Greed, but it will also just fucking kill you because you'll be turned into gold.

Then it's the island of the ugly invisible one-foot guys and it turns out they cast a spell to turn invisible so no one could see how they're ugly but they're not ugly, they just think they are? and then it goes "HEY LUCY COMPARE YOURSELF TO YOUR OLDER SISTER" and she's like "I'm ugly.... unlike her. Maybe I should use magic to STEAL HER BEAUTY?!" and it's like, wow. Is there maybe a theme here about self-esteem in your appearance? and Clive Officemax Lewis is over there going I'LL NEVER TELL.

Anyway it's got the good line about how the Wizard in charge of the ugly invisible one-footed pogo-idiots is that how he eagerly awaits the day that they can be ruled by wisdom, instead of magic. It's a fun approach to magic: it's something that is a shortcut, a crutch, and it's a poor replacement for Wisdom, even when used by "the good guys". Tell me, Mr. FedexKinkos-Lewis, do you have any opinions on the complicated relationship between Christianity and magic? oh, you do? I never would have guessed!

They also find The Island Where Dreams Come True. They don't land there, they just fish a screaming man out of the ocean who is trying to escape it. The sailors hear it's The Island Where Dreams Come True and are like "wow, I could have my own ship!" and he yells no, you fools, not dreams like your wishes and imaginations, your actual dreams come true on this island.

and everyone agrees: Get us the fuck away from this island and lets never return.

Anyway I'm not gonna talk about THE ENTIRE MOVIE/BOOK but it's got a great weirdness at the end where they reach the end of the world (which is flat. It's okay, this is Narnia, a completely different world with different physical rules than Earth), and it's a waterfall, but a waterfall going up?

It turns out Heaven is on the other side of it. They turn around, but the anthropomorphic mouse is like "ehh, I'll take that journey" and becomes the Elijah of Aslan's Country, their equivalent of heaven.

Narnia, won't you?

#chronicles of narnia #narnia

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pendwelling · 18 days ago

Text

TWSB Genderswap AU thoughts...

(Felt like exploring their designs while in the middle of writing my "What if TWSB Was Genderswapped? : Gender Expectations, Trope Subversion, and How Jung Eunseo's Gender Identity Affects QPB" essay/analysis (which somehow took an somewhat academic turn) 😭 Please look out for that, whenever I finish it... TvT)

I actually spent quite a bit thinking about this lmao (my thought process would make much more sense if you read my essay but it's still a WIP so 🥹👍) Have some fun silly abridged thoughts instead! :

Cédric M. Riester —> Ségolène Benz Riester

I firmly believe that female!Cédric would look a lot like her mom 🥹 Like Mother, Like Daughter! Long hair is a hassle when you're a swordsman, so she keeps it short... (until she gets jealous over Yeseo and Chris bonding over braiding hair TSK)(actually canon tho LOL)

I also gave female!Cédric the name "Ségolène" (Sieglinde) since it's the French female form of "Siegfried" (to which the author originally confirmed was supposed to be his name until it was changed to better fit the Riesterian setting)! "Céline" was also an option, but there's already a Riester ancestor with that name (Ced's grandmother and Frédérique's mom) and I didn't want them to just switch their names or make her "Céline II", and I'm already SO biased towards "Ségolène" hahaha

(As for the middle name. Well. LMAOOOOO It's self-explanatory, but if you're curious, see the screenshots of my IG story justifications later below! I also just thought it was. really funny OTL)

Christelle Olivier Rambouillet —> Christian Aude Rambouillet

A pretty-looking young man by the name of Christian... I chose "Aude" as the middle name, since that was the sister of "Olivier" in the "Chanson de Roland" where the name comes from! It works well, I find, because Aude is also the betrothed of Roland, which ties in to "Christelle/Christian's" character setting of "love interest", and how Ga-in would eventually gain agency outside of it.

I kept male!Chris' hair long because of the significance it carries for Ham Ga-in who couldn't cut it out of respect/guilt for Ollie 🥲 It's quite a small but significant aspect of Ga-in characterization that would translate well into any version of their character: the notion of "this isn't my body, so I must take care of it well in the original owner's place". (And later, the implied future cutting of hair being the resolution of these dilemmas and internal struggle! I love Ham Ga-in a lot...)

(AND YEAH LOL CHRIS IS STILL SHORTER THAN CED, tho if you want to, you can choose to believe that Chris' 19y.o. body still has room for growth xD)

Jung Yeseo:

As for Jung Yeseo... hahaha her name can remain the same! I wanted to draw her as a pretty girl-next-door unnie, who looks studious, gentle, and cute (but surprisingly fierce when angry LMAO)

Major inspiration was taken from brown-haired shoujo-romance MCs! The original body of the MC from "I Raised a Black Dragon" was especially notable for me. Her design was really cute and always reminded me in some way of Yeseo... TTvT

Anyhow, she's naturally a girl who obliviously captures the hearts of both women and men 🥹👍

(And here's my initial messy IG story thoughts!) :

(Additional thoughts from my twitter/x thread 😭) :

In the first place, CeChri in a Genderswap AU would be so funny to me bc woah... Pretty Transmigrated Duke's Son MC x Handsome Crown Princess (who is taller than him)? Revolutionary. It'd probably be a very genre-convention-defying RoFan haha (I WANT IT)

ADDITIONALLY LAUGHING bc FredAu about the engagement would be like: "Sadie, do not worry, you'll like him. Young Lord Christian is a gentle young man known for his reserved personality, who is also very beautiful (reminds a bit of Alex when we were younger...)(insert nostalgic feelings)..."

🔥, after they've finally become acquaintanced: "Not beautiful at all."

🌊 "WTF????"

🔥 "Not gentle either (TSK)."

Ségolène would probably even get pissed off seeing Chris' long hair. As a knight, she always thinks about convenience. Besides, her father could pull it off because he was very beautiful.

🌊 "WOW! Are you really calling your own fiancé ugly then???"

🔥 "And short."

🌊 "............."

Also thinking about Yeseo first transmigrating, trying futilely to remember what Ségolène looks like. According to Eunseo, the main female lead is very beautiful, so Yeseo images a gorgeous woman with long ebony hair who would look amazing in ornate ball gowns worthy of her position as Crown Princess. A cold-hearted beauty.....

Reality —> Gorgeous, tall woman, broad-shouldered and muscular, with short hair and wearing a knight's uniform.

🌷 "!!!?" (JAW DROPS)

'Wow!? Are the standards for female love interests different these days??'

Yeseo is so flustered she can't raise her eyes (Ségolène is too tall 🤭)

"In the first place, isn't the gap between the FL and the 2nd FL too large...?"

Ségolène: Tall, stunning woman in a uniform with fierce eyes. Hair as dark as the night, a figure that looks undoubtedly very reliable and strong. Great with the sword, and would definitely cut you down without hesitation if need be.

Losna: Significantly shorter, gentle-looking beauty with sly eyes. Long golden hair that curls coyly at the ends, divine-looking yet somewhat enticing like a siren. Soft hands that have never touched a blade, but whose tongue could cut deeply while delivering words in the kindest tone.

🌷, heart pounding, flustered (DENSE): (chuckles) "If I were a man, my heart would definitely be in a frenzy! Even the MC is very pretty, too... They truly are the protagonists!!"

🔥 (piercing stare)(wants yeseo so bad)(is it possible for someone to be so lovable?)(cuteness aggression is so real)

🌊 (thinking about how to make yeseo their priest partner)(very determined and having fun)(already making plans to have everyone in an arranged official sleepover that lasts a lifetime<—somewhat warped view of marriage)

Whenever people see CYC together, it's as if the Empress, Cardinal, and Prince Consort have come back from their youth.

A cold-looking and stubborn Crown Princess with a sword, a young powerful Cleric with a gentle face, a Duke's strong and pretty son with long hair.........

FredAu: (fluffy atmosphere, warm sentimentality, fond memories.....)

🌊 "...? Why are they looking at us like that?"

🔥 (knows from FredAu's gazes that she has gotten parental approval)(like mother like daughter LMAO)

🌷 (doesn't know that her fate has been sealed TSKKK)

(If you can't tell, I'm having a lot of fun with this AU LMAO. Please look forward in 19474893 years when I finally finish my What-if Genderswap AU very-serious essay about this topic TTvT👍

#when the third wheel strikes back #TWSB genderswap AU #twsb #cédric riester #female!cédric riester #jung yeseo #female!jung yeseo #christelle rambouillet #male!christelle rambouillet #cedyeschris #my art #butch cédric is so real guys you have no idea #yeseo as a cute shoujo romance MC.....#meanwhile chris is. versailles courtly bishounen LMAOAO #서브 남주가 파업하면 생기는 일 #섭남파업 #twsb fanart #I HAVE A FEM!CEDYES COMIC COMING OUT SOON TOO LOOK OUT FOR THATTT 🥹🫶🔥🌷

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whorekneecentral · 1 year ago

Text

merry smutmas series

hi besties!! since I'm skipping out on kinktober this year, I figured I wouldn’t be fair for me to leave you guys without some sort of holiday treat so here we go again.

I won’t be able to fit everyone into this series cause with would have taken me forever so between classes and other fics, I’ve been working on this since august lmao. I hope y’all enjoy these as much as I enjoyed writing it <33 // massive thank you to @oconso for the banners and to @themandaloriansdiaries for all the help plotting and for listening to my complaining <3

running from: November 1st to December 31st - every Tuesday, Thursday and on the weekends

tagged under: merry smutmas xoxo

November 1st: Sebastian Vettel - Sticky Fingers

Your husband spends his first Christmas at home since his retirement and he went a little.. a lot over board.

November 4th: Trent Alexander Arnold - As Red As My Stockings

Trent’s crush on the pretty physio is well known amongst the players. They make sure to help him fulfil one last Christmas wish before you all head home for the holidays.

November 5th: Pato O’Ward - Snow Storms

Your boyfriend insists the roads are fine to drive despite the massive incoming snow storm; as someone who grew up in cold weather, you knew better. yet, there you were stuck on the side of the road with him in the snow.

November 7th: Ruben Dias - Miss Me, Miss Me

Your brother holds his annual Christmas party and you’re forced to spend the afternoon with the one person you had been avoiding all season but tis’ the season you guess. (stones!reader)

November 9th: Pierre Gasly - Cocoa

You have your boyfriend drive all around the city until you find the one thing you were looking for. When you finally find it, you decide you want something else.

November 11th: Ben Chilwell - Snowflakes On The Glass

Ben insists on having a snowball fight when he wakes up to the massive snowfall but you want nothing more than to stay in bed.

November 12th: Kimi Raikkonen - Only The Best For You

Kimi spends the holidays with his old friends. He doesn’t forget you; bringing you exactly what you had been wishing for and you make sure to thank him.. properly. (dad’s best friend!kimi)

November 14th: Lucas Paquetá - Spin Me Around

Lucas busts out the champagne and the streamers to celebrate the new years in your new place.

November 16th: Yuki Tsunoda - Sous Chef

Yuki finds himself more fascinated by the woman cooking than the food on his plate for once. (chef!reader)

November 18th: Erling Haaland - Christmas On The Farm

Erling takes you home to spend the holidays at the Haaland Family Farm and you two end up being the only ones there.

November 19th: Lance Stroll - Old Friends

Lance gets an invitation to an old teammate’s place to ring in the new year but he finds himself too distracted by someone in particular to care about the ball dropping (vettel!reader)

November 21st: Jude Bellingham - Ugliest Sweater Wins

Jude is invited to Luka’s Christmas party, an ugly Christmas sweater party to be exact. It took a bit of convincing but you got him to go.

November 23rd: Daniel Ricciardo - The Flash Of The Camera

You enlist Daniel to help you with your Christmas gift for him.

November 25th: John Stones - Black Out

Your boyfriend blows a fuse with the Christmas lights and you’re stuck in the dark, but you find a way to make the best of it.

November 26th: Fernando Alonso - Your Pick

Fernando enlists the help of a certain someone to get his Christmas shopping done but the list is oddly familiar (pr officer!reader)

November 28th: Kostas Tsimikas - The Smell Of The Holidays

You over baked for your niece’s holiday bake sale so you do the neighbourly thing and share with your neighbour, Kostas and his two puppies.

November 30th: Toto Wolff - Winter Wonderland

Your husband skips out on Christmas every year due to work but this year, he ends up in London. You make it your mission to introduce him to some holiday fun.

December 2nd: Christian Pulisic - Ho Ho Hoe

You find a pair of Christmas boxers in Christian’s drawers and decide to tease him about it.

December 3rd: Mick Schumacher - Merry Ruff-mas

Angie goes missing the day before Christmas and Mick finds her at the neighbouring ranch, wrapped up with ribbon and bows.

December 5th: Jordan Henderson - Shivers

Jordan comes in after shovelling the driveway and keeps trying to love on you. You tell him that you can feel how cold he is but he makes sure to show you what cold really feels like.

December 7th: Lewis Hamilton - Tis’ The Season

An old friend finds his way to you front door and no matter how much you try to get rid of him, you can’t.

December 9th: Dominik Szoboszlai - Come Home

The two of you are separated over the holidays and you’re missing each other a little too much to keep this going.

December 10th: Charles Leclerc - The Night Before Christmas

A massive snow storm delays Charles’ flight home for the holidays and you both begin to give up hope but a Christmas miracle occurs.

December 12th: Virgil Van Dijk - Holiday Greetings

You send your old friend a Christmas card every year and when he sees that a certain someone was no longer in the picture, he pays you a long overdue visit.

December 14th: Mark Webber - A New Term

You send your professor an email over the winter break and the man wonders why you’re still working, urging you to come out and relax like everyone else. (Professor!Webber)

December 16th: Thiago Alcantara - Bubbles

You find yourself aching from all the holiday prep and your husband being the good man that he was, makes sure you’re feeling okay after a long day.

December 17th: Jenson Button - A Sandy Christmas

Jenson takes you on a dream vacation over the holidays but still makes sure you’ve got a gift to open come Christmas morning. (Sugar Daddy!Jenson)

December 19th: Kylian Mbappe - Family’s Growing

Kylian finds himself swooning over how good you are with his niece and nephew, the thought of having a family with you spins around his head.

December 21st: Carlos Sainz Jr - Traditions

Coming back from Christmas with your family, the two of you return to Spain to celebrate new years with his family and all their traditions.

December 23rd: Andy Robertson - Mistletoe Means Kisses

The overpowering smell of mistletoe hits you when you walk into he house, your husband came up with his own plan while you were out.

December 24th: George Russell - A New Tradition

You and George spend your first Christmas together and you mash together the traditions from both of your families.

December 26th: Jack Grealish - Always Around

A wild new years night out leaves you bumping the same person over and over again.

December 28th: Esteban Ocon - The Gift Of Giving

Esteban takes a liking to the barista that works at the cafe near his place. He finally works up the courage to ask her out in time for the holidays.

December 30th: Sergio Ramos - Secret Santa

The players and the staff play secret Santa every year; they write a letter, toss in a box and everyone picks. Sergio some how lands on the person he’s always had a soft spot for.

December 31st: Max Verstappen - Time Is Running Out

Max wasn’t one for resolutions but as the clock counts down the hours to new years, he finds himself running to resolve the biggest resolution on his list; you.

#merry smutmas xoxo #football smut #f1 smut

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fallstaticexit · 4 months ago

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Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

Geoffrey and Bob Karaoke selection- Creep - Radiohead

AN: A little more insight on Nancy and her major: Nancy is majoring in architecture. The Landgraabs are famously known for owning land and property- both residential and commercial- and Nancy will eventually operate the part of family business that will allow her to design houses, buildings and other structures in addition to leasing. (Geoffrey comes from a family of doctors but he decided to get a business degree- as he knows this would likely please Nancy's parents)

Transcript under the cut

Siobhan: Think about it, Nancy! Making your mark on this university—on the world—begins with Theta!

Becca: Nice one, you two.

Nancy: They only want me to join their organization because it’ll benefit them. All they care about is money -Ouch!

Geoffrey: [winces] Sorry. Your knees are completely raw.

Geoffrey: They’ve only got as far as knowing your name. If you give them a chance to get to know the real you-

Nancy: There’s nothing to know! Why do you think I had my parents make arrangements so I’d have my own room? I don’t want roommates. I don’t want friends! I just want to do my time so I can-

Geoffrey: Get away, I know...but what if you just take the next four years to have fun? It’s ok to just enjoy it for what it is. Isn’t that what college is all about?

Nancy: [scoffs] Sure, for you. You don’t have the same expectations as me.

Nancy: You can be anything you want. You can join any sports team; you can switch your major a million times if you want to. I have to excel at everything I do, whether I want to or not, and I cannot come out of this a failure. I have to be ready to start working along with my parents the moment I graduate.

Geoffrey: I just want you to be happy. I want you to take care of yourself. Be kinder to yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You’re a good person. You’re an amazing person, Nancy. Anyone would be lucky to be apart of your life.

Geoffrey: Does this hurt?

Nancy: Yes. It hurts.

Nancy: You’re too good for me.

Geoffrey: Don’t say that.

Geoffrey: It’s Karaoke night at Tab’s. Bobby and I wanted to check it out. Did you want to go?

Nancy: I think I’ll pass. I should get started on this project for Munch. I want to get ahead.

Geoffrey: If you change your mind, come down and unwind a bit. Have fun. Eat. Ok?

Nancy: Ok.

Geoffrey: I love you, Nance.

[door shuts]

Nancy Narrates: [I’m holding him back. A selfish part of me knows it, but I can’t fathom the thought of losing someone else]

[distant laughter]

Nancy: Heavenly Father, help me to find peace in Your love and wisdom-

Geoffrey and Bob Karaoke Pick: Creep by Radiohead I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here

[crowd whistles and cheers]

I don't care if it hurts I wanna have control

I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul

Morgan: [hums] Upright High Priestess. That’s twice now. Once again, my intuition is being called forth.

I want you to notice When I'm not around

Morgan: My appetite is off. I can’t focus. If I weren’t on the pill, I’d think I was knocked up. So. What does that leave me with? I can almost bet this is all connected to-

Morgan: You! You have something to do with this.

Nancy: [frowns] Do with...what, exactly?

You're so fuckin' special I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

Morgan: Rich Christian girl with walls as high as Berlin stumbles on campus and taps my shoulder. I had a dream the night before that I placed an injured dove back into its nest. I think this is fate. Sit. I’ll do your reading. Free of charge, of course.

Nancy Narrates: [I didn’t know it then, how right she was. About fate. About everything]

What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here

#the art of being seen #the landgraabs #nancy landgraab #morgan fyres #geoffrey landgraab #siobhan fyres #becca clarke #sims 4 stories #ts4 simblr #sims 4 simblr #sims 4

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crafty-butch · 2 months ago

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Embalmed

A short story by me (tw: body horror, self-harm kinda)

Did you know embalming isn't actually that common, worldwide? I didn't. Sure, there are some famous exceptions–looking at you, pharaohs–but embalming random schlubs is mostly a US thing. Plenty of religions ban it outright. Islam, Judaism, several branches of Christianity…

Bear with me. I promise I have a point.

Anyway, I've got no opinion on what God wants us to do with our corpses. I've never been religious. I'm still not, weird as that sounds. But I'm with Islam, Judaism, and several branches of Christianity on this one. Just skip the embalming and bury the body before it starts to rot. It'll be easier for everyone, on the off chance someone decides to bring them back.

No, this isn't a joke. Look, I'm not saying it's likely, okay? I know the stats. Less than twenty confirmed resurrections in the last half-century. Maybe twice that many ambiguous cases. Actually ambiguous, that is. Just because someone is flaired “unconfirmed” on r/Resurrected doesn't mean there's a chance in Hell they're legit. So, yeah, I get it's unlikely. But let's jump back to embalming real quick.

You know how it works, right? At least vaguely? Blood goes out, formaldehyde goes in. Well, that's step one. Step two is sucking all the non-blood fluids out of your body cavity and swapping those for embalming fluid too. They also sew your mouth shut, stuff some cotton in you to stop any leaking–I could go on, but I won't. Like I said, I don't have any issue with embalming from a treatment-of-the-dead-body standpoint. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for embalming Great-Aunt Edith, here. I'm just saying, if the dead body becomes an alive body, you can see why there might be some issues.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're going to say: “It's magic, dumbass.” And, yes, it is. That's why waking up with your mouth sewn shut and your body stuffed full of formaldehyde doesn't immediately kill you again. Doesn't make it fun, though.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't focus on the mouth thing. I'm sure it's happened to someone, but my sister cut the stitches out before she brought me back. She was thorough like that. I just feel like it's easier to picture, you know? Mouth won't open and hurts when you try. The rest of it's harder.

I don't blame my sister for not dealing with the formaldehyde. I know there wasn't much she could do about it. If she'd had more time, I'm sure she could've come up with something, but once you've dug up a body, you're kind of on a (ha) deadline. If someone sees you, you're done. So I get it. I've had a lot of time to think it over, and I'm still not sure what she could've done better. Other than just letting me stay dead.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…maybe I am? A little bit? I know that's an awful thing to say. It's not like I wanted to die. That's not what this is about. It's also not about how super amazingly great the afterlife is. Sorry to disappoint, but I have no idea. I don't remember anything between the hospital and waking up on the grass with a chest full of embalming fluid. Does that mean there's nothing after? Or did coming back just give me amnesia? No idea. I leave that one to the philosophers.

My sister probably would've had an opinion.

She was always…

Let me tell you about my sister.

She was great. I'm not saying this because of what happened. She really was incredible. Almost perfect. One of those people who's so smart and so kind and so beautiful and so goddamn humble but not so humble you can even accuse them of humblebragging, to the point where you can't help but hate them a little for making you look so fucking shitty in comparison and then you feel like the biggest bitch in the world and that just makes you hate them more.

Okay, maybe she wasn't quite as perfect as all that. After I came back, I learned some things. Turns out she was just as much of a fuckup as me, in her own way. She was just better at hiding it. But I never met that version of her. In my memories, she's still just Little Miss Impossibly Perfect. I wish she'd told me about any of it. Maybe…

No, that isn't fair. Why would she tell me anything that could get her in trouble? Maybe I would've hated her less, or maybe I would've just gone and told our parents. Even once we grew up. Would I really have been able to resist knocking her off that pedestal? I'd like to think I would, but come on. Look how I'm talking about her. And that's after she sold her soul for me.

If you're thinking right now that the world probably would've been better off with her instead of me, you're not the only one. Don't worry, I won't take it personally. Or maybe you're not thinking that at all. I've been told I project onto other people.

Maybe you're just confused about why I'm talking about her in the past tense. After all, it's not like selling your soul kills you, and you've probably never met someone unensouled. Or maybe you have, and you know exactly why I'm talking like this. Probably not, though. There are a lot more unensouled than there are people who were resurrected–people sell their souls for all sorts of reasons–but there are a lot more fakers too. Pro tip: if someone claiming they sold their soul gives any sign of caring about literally anything, including whether you believe them, they're lying to you.

So, yeah, she's still here. I know I keep saying it, but I'm not religious. I don't think my sister is burning in Hell while her empty husk sits up here, and if you ask me, that's just a real convenient excuse not to help the person who's still right there in front of you. Whatever a “soul” actually is, there's clearly someone here.

Sorry, I might be preaching to the choir here. And I don't want to sound like I think every religious person thinks that way. I just made the mistake of talking to my parents this weekend, and I'm still a little mad. Or a lot mad. Look, I know I'm getting off topic. Just, real quick, I want to explain.

She's still my sister. I'm not denying that. I keep saying she was this or she was that because she's not really any of those things anymore. She's not cruel, but she doesn't care enough to be kind. I'm sure she's still smart, but she doesn't actually want to use her smarts for anything. She barely eats if I don't pester her into it. I don't think she'd have an opinion on what my lack of memory says about the afterlife anymore. But, hey, maybe she would. Maybe I should ask.

Anyway. None of this is really my point. My point is, waking up next to your own open grave is freaky enough when you're not choking on formaldehyde. It took weeks before I was mostly bleeding blood again. (Yeah, I checked. Don't judge. You'd be curious too.) I coughed up embalming fluid for months. My insides still don't feel quite right. I could get them checked out, but I'll be honest with you. I don't want to know. I haven't been anywhere near a doctor since I got back.

I know, you don't think this will happen to you. No one you know is the right combination of smart enough to wade through all the bullshit to figure out how to revive you and stupid enough to go through with it. And you're probably right. But I thought that too.

#fiction #storycrafty-butch

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spyeriasecret · 5 months ago

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and now it's time to play WOULD GRAVITY FALLS CHARACTERS RESPECT YOUR PRONOUNS (pre-weirdmageddon) (non gravity falls fans take this as a sign.)

DIPPER PINES - not sure he'd understand the concept immediately, but would catch on quick because he understands what it's like not being called something you want to be called

MABEL PINES - YES. no question about it. there's so many things i could say here. she'd correct herself for THINKING the wrong pronouns.

STANLEY PINES - understands and correctly genders you for all the wrong, crime-related reasons! bro is the king of preferred names. you say "hey i'm actually exam/ple" and he'll be like "AH. I GET IT. WINK. DO YOU ALSO WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THE COPS ARE IN TOWN" like i cant overstate this. if you say hey i want to change my identity he will pull out a stack of fake IDs and have you pick one. he's a little confused but he got the spirit!

STANFORD PINES - if you ever need a guy to not grasp a modern-day concept, call this guy! he'd do his best, but only because he wants to be nice. he does Not understand. give him a little bit of systematic exposure and he'll get it! he will take a scientific approach! but he'll get it! somebody get this man 2024ccs of woke liberalism stat

SOOS RAMIREZ - calls you dude and bro. does not call you anything but dude and bro. he knows what you are and he respects that! but let's be real honest here.

WENDY CORDUROY - incredibly supportive and super chill. if you were still in the closet, she'd do the mouth zip motion thing. you get it. she's so awesome about you

WADDLES - oink?

GIDEON GLEEFUL - yes to your face! no behind closed doors. he'd probably call you "that queer" while villain monologuing in his room . i can hear it in his voice

BUD GLEEFUL - THE gravity falls homophobic youth pastor let's be for real he'd say "it's not too late to turn to God" as a christian trans person i'm pretty sure God thinks about lgbtq+ kids and fraudulent capitalists on two separate ends of a very long line

SHERIFF BLUBS & DEPUTY DURLAND - do i even have to say it. i'm gonna say it. solid top and DEAD SERIOUS bottom. they ARE the loud and proud gravity falls lgbtq+ community. if they're transphobic i'll eat my socks.

CANDY CHIU - i know what you guys are thinking . "oh candy's so sweet of course she'd respect your pronouns!" CANDY MOTHERFUCKING CHIU WILL NOT ONLY RESPECT YOUR PRONOUNS, BUT SHE WILL GO OUT OF HER WAY TO USE THEM AT ANY POSSIBLE MOMENT. if she sees somewhere to say your pronouns, she will DO it. because she LOVES YOU. and also she'd fight anyone who gets it wrong!

GRENDA GRENDINATOR - trans. she loves you. will help candy fight anybody who gets your pronouns wrong.

FIDDLEFORD MCGUCKET - honestly this is a hard one. he could ACKNOWLEDGE! your pronouns! but other than that i'm not sure. pre-memory wipe, i think he'd feel a little weird about it, but it would become nothing to him eventually

PACIFICA NORTHWEST - "ew. what the fuck." and then suddenly she's asking you how you figured that out. For No Reason

ROBBIE VALENTINO - calls you a faggot. is it because he is homophobic? because he is one? because he hates you specifically? the world will never know

BLENDIN BLANDIN - he lives in the year 207̃012. i find it hard to believe they haven't made respecting pronouns mandatory yet.

AGENTS POWERS & TRIGGER - are the pronouns on your legal documents????? it's not funny stop laughign

TYLER CUTEBIKER - gay. his pronouns are get/it. he will respect you (in his own ways)

LAZY SUSAN - forgets you had the wrong pronouns in the first place. she respects you by default

TIME BABY - does not refer to you

BILL CIPHER - he would call you your preferred pronouns but DON'T get it twisted. he does not respect you as a living thing. it isn't bigoted (that would be ironic considering that whole sixer thing) he just doesn't. maybe he'd make HEAVY fun of you for good measure but he's got to dig at somebody somehow. also were pronouns even real in his dimension anything could happen man ????

SHMEBULOCK - shmebulock

(did i forget anybody? let me know)

#gravity falls

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beachreg · 3 months ago

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⊹₊⟡⋆ beachreg's show recs!!

Here's a list of shows/cartoons I watch while regressed to various ages!! Most of these are from the 90s or so since I'm not a fan of a lot of newer stuff!!

I've included their age ratings, years on air and a quick summary I found for each!! I hope you enjoy and maybe find something new to watch!! :D

⟡ = cartoons & ☆ = other shows!!

☆ Reading Rainbow (1999) — Levar Burton introduces young viewers to illustrated readings of children's literature and explores their related subjects.

⟡ Captain Planet and The Planeteers (TV-Y7, 1990-96) — A quintet of teenagers work together to encourage environmentally responsible behavior and can summon a superhero to deal with ecological disasters.

☆ The Crocodile Hunter (TV-G, 1996-2004) — Steve and wife Terri educate and entertain on the subject of Australia's all too often dangerous wildlife.

⟡ Gargoyles (TV-Y7, 1994-97) — A clan of heroic night creatures pledge to protect modern New York City as they did in Scotland one thousand years earlier.

☆ Between the Lions (TV-Y, 1999-2011) — Live action and animation blend together in this educational fantasy about a family of lions running a library filled with adventurous and musical books.

⟡ Pocoyo (TV-Y, 2005-Present) — Pocoyo, the curious toddler dressed all in blue, joins Pato the yellow duck, Elly the pink elephant, Loula the dog, Sleepy Bird and many others in learning new things and having fun.

⟡ Tiny Toons Adventures (TV-G, 1990-95) — The wacky adventures of the new young hip generation of Warner Brothers Looney Tunes characters, most of them descendants of the original classic toon cast.

☆ Mister Rogers' Neighborhood (TV-Y, 1968-2001) — Fred Rogers explores various topics for young viewers through presentations and music, both in his world and in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

☆ Bill Nye the Science Guy (TV-Y, 1993-98) —Scientist/comedian Bill Nye explores various aspects of science for young viewers.

⟡ Wonder Pets! (TV-Y, 2006-16) — A turtle, a guinea pig and duckling save the day by using teamwork.

⟡ Dinosaur Train (TV-Y, 2009-23) — Friendly dinosaurs climb aboard a train to visit different times throughout the prehistoric age, learning about dinosaurs and having fun adventures.

☆ The Joy of Painting (TV-G, 1983-2024) — In this half-hour program, artist Bob Ross paints a beautiful oil painting on canvas.

⟡ VeggieTales (TV-Y, 1993-2015) — Bob the Tomato, Larry The Cucumber, and their friends teach Christian and Bible-based lessons in a fun way.

⟡ The Magic School Bus (TV-Y, 1994-97) — An eccentric teacher takes her class on wondrous educational field trips with the help of a magic school bus.

⟡ The Berenstain Bears (TV-Y, 1985-2004) — Inspired by the book series written by Stan and Jan Berenstain, join the Berenstain Bears family as they figure out life together. With friendly neighbors and close friends, the journey is never boring.

⟡ Courage the Cowardly Dog (TV-Y7, 1999-2002) — The offbeat adventures of Courage, a cowardly dog who must overcome his own fears to heroically defend his unknowing farmer owners from all kinds of dangers, paranormal events and menaces that appear around their land.

☆ The Wiggles (TV-Y, 1993-2022) — Learn how to sing and dance with Australia's fab four of fun, The Wiggles. Joined by their friends, Captain Feathersword, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus, and Wags the Dog, the group go on all sorts of adventures.

⟡ Little Bear (TV-Y, 1995-2003) — A grizzly cub has many misadventures with his friends.

☆ Are You Afraid of The Dark? (TV-14, 1990-2000) — A group of teenagers meet in the woods and tell scary stories.

divider credits: @/strangergraphics!!

#⊹₊⟡⋆ 🦴 ) beau barks #agere resources #agere activities #agere #sfw agereg #agere community #noncom agere #sfw agere community #sfw interaction only #age regression #agere blog #age regressive #age regressor #sfw agere #middle regression #teen regression

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rimurutempest · 6 months ago

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I watched all of modern Doctor Who and these were my favorite episodes.

If you told me back in 2015 that I'd watch the entirety of modern Doctor Who, I'd probably think you're a liar. But, a cute girl wanted to watch Doctor Who with me, and how do you tell a cute girl “No?” Being that of the Superwholock trinity, Doctor Who the least upsetting of the three, I figured “Why not?” I mean, it's enjoyed by thousands and thousands of people, surely it has merit for existing, right?

And, it does! There are many great episodes that I really enjoyed (not to mention a lot of schlock I hated). I even enjoy some of the old serials and that 1996 movie is pretty fun (so very 90s). I can't claim to have seen all of Doctor Who, there is a lot of old stuff I'm probably never going to know even exists, not to mention all the spin offs and audio dramas, there's no way I can get through it all. But, I have seen the modern run, starting with Christopher Eccleston all the way to Ncuti Gatwa in Empire of Death.

Annnnd, anyone that knows me knows I love to rank and review episodic tv shows. So, with that said, here are my 15 favorite episodes of modern Doctor Who:

15 - Dalek (S01, E06)

It is probably unsurprising to any Doctor Who fan to see this episode on the list. The Eccleston era was my introduction to Doctor Who (as I'm sure it was for a lot of people) and this episode was my introduction to the famous villain, the Daleks. It's really a wild way to be introduced to the Daleks when you think about it, the Doctor and his companion Rose end up in an underground museum of alien artifacts out in Nevada and find the man that runs it has a Dalek in captivity. Upon learning of the Dalek's existence, the Doctor goes on a campaign to kill it with extreme prejudice until Rose yells at him about how he's being this horrendous person – which makes the doctor have a “Maybe I'm the baddie” moment and it resolves peacefully. Genuinely is really a good episode about moving on and realizing that we all have good and evil in us. A true standout of the early modern run of the show.

14 - The Impossible Planet & The Satan's Pit (S02, E08&E09)

There's a spectrum when it comes to Doctor Who, there are episodes that are gorgeous and smart and well thought out, then there are episodes that are just absolutely ridiculous. If Dalek explores the prejudice that can be enacted by those we see as “good,” then this duo of episodes is “what if the Christian devil was real and he was in space.” This is such an unbelievable hit of stupid bullshit, but it's delivered so very well. The first episode is loaded with mystery and adventure and unknown horror, while the second episode introduces the goofy concept in whole but still somehow grounds it enough that it still feels like a real plot with real stakes. It's the acting. The actors really sell this one to you. Space Satan is not what I expected when getting into this show but hey, it works and I like it.

13 - Blink (S03, E10)

I'm going to be honest with you, I feel like the internet really hypes up the Weeping Angels to a point that when you finally encounter them you're like, “Oh that's all?” Every episode of Doctor Who with the Weeping Angels feels underwhelming, silly, dumb, boring, with one exception: the original. I will not try to convince you that Blink lives up to the hype that the fandom has built for it, but if you can watch it without the Superwholock kind of bullshit in your head, what you'll find is actually a pretty good story. One of the best of the show. If the angels existed for this one episode and nothing else, they may have stood as the best antagonist of the show, but they got overused. I'm not going to explain the episode, I'll end up overhyping it more, just watch it.

12 - A Town Called Mercy (S07, E03)

I never see anyone really talk about this episode and it makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking it's great, which if so, oh well. I like westerns. The long and short of this is the Doctor and his companions, Amy and Rory, arrive in the old west to find a town with electricity too early and an alien cyborg gunslinger hanging outside of town hunting the town physician who turns out to be an alien that committed some horrific space crimes. The episode feels like a fun, loving homage to the western genre while once again exploring those aforementioned qualities of good people can be bad and vice versa. It's a fantastic little romp for the cast and these are the kinds of episodes that made the show fun to watch.

11 - Midnight (S04, E10)

Does this count as a bottle episode? The one thing I have to give the cast of Doctor Who is that when they decide it's time to really act, they act very, very well. This episode is completely carried by the acting of David Tennant and his supporting cast. In this episode, the Doctor's companion Donna sits one out while the Doctor takes a shuttle bus to go see a waterfall, until some unknown alien starts taking over people's bodies. This is a very, very well done episode that shows that you don't need elaborate set dressing or endless action to make good television, you just need good actors.

10 - The Devil's Chord (S14, E02)

I realize this might be controversial to say, but Ncuti Gatwa is my favorite actor to portray the Doctor. He's a fantastic actor and the energy he brings the role is so different and wonderful. When it comes to media, people typically don't like to hear you praise the modern bits over the older stuff, but this most recent run of Doctor Who with Gatwa is consistently more interesting and enjoyable than any other season of Doctor Who (that's probably Davies doing).

That all said, The Devil's Chord is a wild episode. I previously said that Doctor Who has a spectrum, from really great story telling to really goofy. If Midnight is the great story telling, then The Devil's Chord is the goofy. In this episode the Doctor and Ruby must face off against Maestro, the God of Music, who wishes to take all music from the world. The energy of this episode is wild, with Ncuti Gatwa's take on the Doctor going up against the insanely wild trickster character Maestro, who is portrayed by the trans actor Jinkx Monsoon. If you've fallen off of late Doctor Who, or you are completely new to it, please give this new season a watch (and don't let the Beatles jump scare at the beginning stop you, I swear there's no Beatles music!).

09 - The Empty Child / The Doctor Dances (S01, E09&E10)

If you're starting your Doctor Who watch at the beginning of the modern series, this will probably be the first episode that strikes a real chord with you (well, other than Dalek that is). This was the show's first real attempt at telling a horror story, one that is sort of zombie adjacent. This bizarre World War Two story with a child in a gas mask morphing people's bodies and existences into more versions of himself is one of the more original stories in the entire Doctor Who series, no one but Eccleston and Billie Piper could have sold this so well. Not to mention the introduction of Jack Harkness! (We'll uh...we'll ignore the actors conduct for this...)

08 - Planet of the Ood (S04, E03)

This is not the first time we meet the Ood, they were in the aforementioned Impossible Planet episodes, however this is when the Doctor finally does what he should have from the very start. The Ood are essentially a slave race, and in Planet of the Ood, they finally start to act out and revolt. The Doctor, as unpolitical as he has always been according to some people, decides “Yeah! Slaves are wrong!” and starts working with Ood Sigma (who becomes a recurring character kind of) in freeing the Ood. This episode also has one of the sickest, most awesome, kinda horrific effects in all of Doctor Who. Above all else, this episode is just very beautifully shot and well made. One of the highlights of the entire series.

07 - The Day of the Doctor (50th Anniversary Special)

Exploring the Doctor's mind during the Time War is such a cool concept. It's a thing the Doctor keeps referring to as this horrific, life changing thing for him, and getting even a glimpse into it is guaranteed an amazing time. Featuring both David Tennant and Matt Smith, while bringing on John Hurt of all people because Eccleston wouldn't reprise his role, the acting talent in this special is incredible and genuinely so wonderful to watch. At the end of the day, it's a really, really good Doctor Who romp and deserves any praise it gets.

06 - The Waters of Mars (2009 Autumn Special)

Pic from the BBC. Theirs looks better than anything I could get.

Hey look! It's the Hugo award winning special! And I only put it at number six!

Everything about this special is so fucking cool. The set designs, the costumes, the fucking monster itself, everything in this is so cool. You know how people always joke about horror needing to be wet? Well this is wet horror. David Tennant puts in so much effort here, struggling with what he wants to and what he has to do, the Doctor is really pushed to some stressful limits here that has such a fantastic end to it. Even if you disagree with where I placed it on this list, there is no doubt that The Waters of Mars is among the best stories Doctor Who has ever put out.

05 - The Impossible Astronaut / Day of the Moon (S06, E01&E02)

This is one that's probably going to get some pushback. I am an X-Files fan, it's my favorite show, love it when it's great and I love it when it's trashy. This two part season opening is the most X-files like the show ever gets, and I am so into it. The opening mystery of the episode sets up a really cool overarching concept for the season (don't ask if it's resolved well, please don't ask that) while introducing us to one of the coolest enemies Doctor Who ever made (please don't ask if they stay that way, please don't ask that). Everything about this is so fun and interesting and I hope others come out of it feeling the same way.

04 - Voyage of the Damned (2007 Christmas Special)

Pic from IMDB.

DOCTOR WHO TITANIC IS VERY GOOD!! Sorry for yelling. For a long while this sat as my absolute favorite episode of Doctor Who. Journeying alone on a rare occasion, the Doctor finds himself spending Christmas aboard the space Titanic (I am not kidding, they named it the Titanic!) and as the name of the ship would imply, tragedy strikes. This story is really wonderful, we get to see the Doctor try his hardest to save people and show love and kindness to so many people, not to mention having a group of characters instead of one companion to explore. I especially love the Van Hoff couple, who are two fat and poor people who won tickets to come aboard what is a wealthy cruise. Everyone around them is rather classist and fatphobic to them, but of all they characters in the special, they exhibit real happiness and love and their devotion to one another is genuinely so wonderful.

As I said, this one stood as my favorite episode for a long time. And, you don't really need to see any previous episodes to watch it, so please go watch it. It's a fun time.

03 - The Giggle (60th Anniversary Special)

I don't know what the wider fandom's thoughts on the 60th Anniversary Specials are, so I don't know if this is a controversial take or not. But, The Giggle highlights everything that is great about Doctor Who. It tips its scales back into the goofy part of the spectrum, but that goofiness is ultimately what makes this such a fun and interesting special. When thinking of actors like Neil Patrick Harris, who are so big and popular and well known celebrities, you forget that the popularity came from the fact they're good at their craft, and if The Giggle did anything for me, it was reminding me that yes, Neil Patrick Harris is an outstanding actor. And, getting put with a returning David Tennant and Catherine Tate really just solidified this special as some of the best acting the series has to offer.

The scene where the Toymaker forces the Doctor and Donna to watch a puppet show about the fates of the Doctor's companions is one of the best meta commentaries the show ever did about itself. The introduction of Ncuti Gatwa is pulled off in a fantastic way. And, the ending is so heartwarming that it makes makes me happy they brought Tennant's Doctor and Donna back.

02 - Heaven Sent (S09, E11)

I previously said that Ncuti Gatwa stands as my favorite Doctor. But, before the Gatwa episodes were out, my favorite was Peter Capaldi. Though Capaldi was given some of the worst scripts of the series (Jodie Whittaker probably got the worst of the worst), he brought such a different interpretation to the Doctor. David Tennant and Matt Smith's Doctors, despite their differences, were largely the same characters. Capaldi's had more of that Eccleston-esque attitude and charm, while bringing this gravitas that makes the silly moments feel real emotionally.

Which brings me to Heaven Sent, which might be the pinnacle of acting in the series. When people think of the best Doctor Who episodes, they probably expect big action and lots of adventure, but to me, the most interesting parts of Doctor Who are when we explore the Doctor as a character. What makes him tick, what makes him who he is, why is he here doing this – exploration of the Doctor and his motives is spectacular, especially when done right. Heaven Sent follows the Capaldi Doctor, after the death of his companion, imprisoned in a castle where he must reveal all his secrets. The torture and sorrow that Capaldi is able to show on his face is both horrifying and spectacular, really showing that he is an outstanding actor. There is no other piece of television like Heaven Sent.

01 - Vincent and the Doctor (S05, E10)

I don't think this is a surprise to anyone. I'm sure everyone has seen the gifs go around of the Doctor taking Vincent van Gogh to the future to see how his work is revered and loved and how moving that scene is. What I don't think most people know is how after that scene, after Vincent has been put back in his own time, the museum doesn't change. There are no new paintings. Amy, the Doctor's companion, then must learn that love and praise alone do not cure mental illness.

This episode has a haze of melancholy. The Doctor may change history plenty of times, but he doesn't often change real events. So, from the very beginning, you know van Gogh's fate, and you know it won't be changed. I actually liked this episode' portrayal of mental illness, it really is something that affects our lives, and makes it hard (if not impossible) to fit into society. How people with mental illness are often outcast, harassed, and treated like subhumans. But, this episode also shows happiness, hope, and love. And, that people do love you, no matter what you may think.

And, I think that makes it the best episode of modern Doctor Who.

Tumblr has decided that adding my full episode rankings would make this post too long. So, I will be adding them in a second reblog (check notes if you want to see!)

#doctor who #dr who #long post #rankings

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greenandsorrow · 25 days ago

Note

Can I ask for an obscenity with Alastor in the nun outfit he wore when he fought with Lucefer... Female reader if possible

AN OBSCENE FAITH

nun!Alastor x fem!sinner!reader

Warnings: adult content, graphic/explicit descriptions, consensual chaos, no plot just porn, bodily fluids, horniness, low-key public setting, corruption kink, spanking, creampie, just an overall filthiness, switch!Al, switch!reader, possessiveness, Alastor's shadow

💜 I'm an orthodox Christian, so I didn't go ALL out when it comes to using religious themes as a kink (ex. that's why I used the word 'chapel' and not 'church' and also didn't mention any crucifixes or rosemaries). That being said, I don't think it's lacking in kinkiness at all... See for yourselves and let me know! 💜

The chapel is quiet, the kind of silence that demands reverence... or indulgence. Flickering candlelight carves long shadows on the walls, but your focus isn't on the setting around you. It's on him.

It isn't every day that you find yourself in an abandoned chapel with Alastor... Especially not when he is wearing that outfit.

Alastor stands by the chapel's altar. He's clad in a nun's habit that clings to his tall, lean and wiry silhouette like second skin. The white collar frames his pale face, his ever-present grin twisted into something darker -something predatory.

As he tilts his head, you can see the exaggerated innocence in his expression -as if he hasn't planned this just to make you squirm.

"Oh, my dear" he drawls, voice dripping with mock sympathy.

"Do you think you're prepared to repent?"

You bite your lip and nod, trying not to let him see how affected you already are... But Alastor, being Alastor, can read you like an open book.

"Now, now" he whispers as he moves closer and closer, each step echoing in the empty chapel.

"You know it is a sin to lie, don't you?"

The long, flowing skirt swishes as he approaches you, but before you have time to register his new proximity, two gloved hands start trailing down your arms -featherlight touches that leave shivers in their wake.

The tension is electric and also amplified by his obvious delight in the whole charade.

Your breath hitches when he presses a hand against your lower back, guiding you toward the altar. The cold stone at your back contrasts with the warmth radiating from him.

He pauses. Then he leans down, lips hovering just by the shell of your ear, breath hot against your skin.

"Perhaps" he muses, "I should help you see the… error of your ways."

Your pulse quickens dangerously as Alastor closes the gap between you, pressing against you while both his hands come to rest on hips. His grin broadens, eyes narrowing with that familiar spark of wickedness and mischief.

"Let's see, my dear..." he murmurs, his voice taking on a playful edge, "Are you nervous? Or just… excited?"

His gloved fingers trace your collarbone, slipping down to rest just over where your heart is. The fabric of the glove -smooth and cool- presses firmly against your skin, while his gaze flicks up to meet yours with an intensity that nearly steals your breath away.

"You're shaking" he notes, amber eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "How delightful."

You scoff, hoping to mask the way he makes your heart race uncontrollably.

"And here I thought you were supposed to be the virtuous one."

Alastor's laugh is rich and dark. He liked that little statement quite a lot.

The roleplaying is fun, but he's getting a bit impatient... Not that he's going to let it show. No, no, no.

"Confess."

Damn, you were looking forward to this.

On your knees before him, you press your palms together and look up at him through your eyelashes.

"Forgive me, Father..." you whisper, trembling with anticipation you can barely contain. "...for I have sinned.

Alastor chuckles, crouching until his face is perfectly level with yours. His hand slides beneath your chin in a smooth motion, tilting your face upward so you have no choice but to meet his gaze.

"Oh, darling" he purs, stroking your cheek with his thumb. "Sin doesn't frighten me. In fact, I'd say I encourage sin!"

His smile stretches wider -if that's even possible. "Now, tell me... What exactly have you done?"

You open your mouth, but no words come. Instead you lean into his touch, lips parting as his thumb presses past them. Your tongue swirls, tastes, explores, the sensation earning a soft hum of approval from him.

"That's a good girl" he murmurs, withdrawing his hand slowly and deliberately, like he doesn't really want the moment to end. You did leave a lipstick stain on the glove, which makes you oddly proud.

"But I think you've been bad enough to warrant a little... punishment. Hm?"

Before you can react, he drags you to your feet, spinning you to face the altar.

His hands waste no time whatsoever, tearing your dress over your head and leaving you bare. The cool air of the chapel makes your overheated skin prickle, but nothing compares to the sharp sting of his palm as it strikes your ass.

"You dare to stand here like this...", he hisses in a voice that's dripping with mock indignation, "in a place of worship, no less, without the common decency of putting on underwear? Shameless, filthy slut."

You gasp as another sharp smack rings through the room, your body jerking helplessly against the altar.

"I-"

"No excuses." he cuts you off, his hand smoothing over the reddened skin he's just punished. Meanwhile, his other hand finds its way between your thighs, sliding effortlessly through the wetness there.

"This is what you came here for, isn't it? To be debased?"

"Y- Yes..." you whimper, the word tumbling from your lips before you can stop it.

"Say. It. Louder." Alastor's gloved fingers still, hovering just where you currently need them the most.

"Yes" you moan, your voice rising. "I want this- I want you."

A growl rumbles low in his chest as he slides two fingers into you. His pace quickly becomes unrelenting, every curl and thrust designed to unravel you completely.

"Look at you" he taunts, withdrawing his fingers and holding them up, glistening with your wet arousal. "So needy. So eager to pay for your sins."

Once again, there's barely any time to process his words... before he frees himself from the confines of his habit. The sight of his cock -thick, slightly curved upward, flushed and already dripping- makes your knees buckle.

But he's not done teasing.

"Do you see this?" he asks, gripping the base of his cock as he presses the mushroom tip against your folds, dragging it up and down but never quite pushing in. "This is your reward. But only if you beg for it."

You let out a choked moan, writhing against him.

"Please" you gasp. "Please, Alastor. I need you. I need you to ruin me."

"Oh, you're so convincing!" he mocks, but the rasp in his voice betrays his own growing desire.

Finally, he thrusts into you, filling you completely in one devastating motion. Your body arches against him, a strangled sound ripping from your throat as he sets a brutal, unyielding pace.

"You take me so well" he growls, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to leave marks. "Like you were made for this. Made for me."

His words only encourage you more, your body moving in sync with his now. The slick, obscene sounds of your deed echo through the chapel, mingling with the faint creak of wood beneath you.

The expression behind his eyes is sharp and feral as his shadow comes to life, slithering across the room. You feel the darkness around your wrists, squeezing them and guiding them behind your back. The demon's voice is a velvety purr in your ear, taunting you as he slows down his thrusts.

"Oh my goodness... Let's see how much you can take."

The shadow dissolves and his movements start becoming faster again.

Alastor starts leaning over you, until his chest presses against the valley of your back. One hand tangles in your hair, yanking your head up to force your gaze forward. "Look at the altar. Look at what you've defiled."

You can barely think, let alone obey, but your gaze does its best to focus on what he's fucking you on.

"You're mine" he growls, his other hand sliding down to grip your throat. The pressure is just enough to heighten your sensations without blocking your breathing.

"Say it."

"I'm yours" you gasp, the words tumbling out willingly. "Only yours."

The slight restriction you feel at his long fingers around the column of your neck -paired with the significant pressure of his cock- has you reeling, the tight coil in your belly snapping as your climax crashes over you. Your filthy cries fill the chapel, raw and unrestrained.

Not only that, but the way your pussy muscles clench around him send Alastor over the edge with you.

With an animalistic groan, he buries himself as deep as he can go inside you, spilling his release in hot, pulsing waves. The warmth of it makes you mewl, but his grip on you doesn't falter even at this moment.

For a bit, the two of you stay like this, bodies trembling as you try to catch your breaths. Then, with a low chuckle, Alastor withdraws, adjusting his habit as though nothing happened.

"You're a mess" he proceeds to say, his grin as sharp as ever. "But what a sinfully beautiful mess you are."

You huff, pulling your dress back on with shaky hands. "You're impossible."

"And you adore it, sugar" he replies.

"Shall we continue this... little charade next week?"

You smirk, your legs still unsteady as you head for the door. "Only if you're ready to confess your own sins, Alastor."

His laughter follows you all the way out.

Um... Justify my sins 🤧 -> PayPal link

🔮Hazbin Hotel masterlist🔮

This work is part of the nymph's daily gifts! 💜

Dividers by @saradika-graphics.

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