#I'm not making this up I'm just delivering it

[nochepsicodelica]

"Turn off your phone, ma. Give me all your attention," Toji murmurs, behind you. His hand dips into the messily unbuttoned portion of your shirt and paws at your chest, while he kisses up the side of your neck. Soft and slow, wet little pecks to demonstrate how much he needs you and craves your focus on him after not seeing you for hours.

"Sorry, bear. People from work are being annoying," you explain, after sending another message to the group chat you have with your colleagues.

"When are they not? Dumbasses can't get shit done without you, but that's not your problem, right now," he says, undoing more of the buttons on your shirt. "You're not there, and you won't be there until the day after tomorrow, so turn off your phone and let those idiots figure it out on their own for once. They depend on you way too much, doll."

Toji hums, disapprovingly, when you start typing out another response. "If you don't turn it off, I will," he says, resting his chin on your shoulder. "You're off work. You're home with me. Get out of that work mindset, now."

You send the last message and give your phone to Toji.

"Good girl," he praises, taking the device out of your hand and turning it off. He puts it in his bedside drawer so that you can't get it until later. "Let me take care of you, baby. Lie down and just shut your brain off, for me," he instructs.

You do as he says and slowly make your way farther onto the bed, laying your tired head down on the pillow with a heavy sigh. "I'm exhausted," you puff out, folding your arms above your head and shutting your eyes. You could easily doze off like this.

"I know," Toji says, his voice low with the validation. He goes on to undo the last couple buttons of your shirt, and pulls the halves apart, exposing your torso. He leans down to press a kiss to your tummy, his gaze pinned to your face. He loves that soft smile that forms on your lips as he keeps going.

"Barely saw you today," he murmurs, against your soft skin. "Don't you know, that it's not just you missing me when I go to work? I miss you when you're gone, too." His knuckles graze the bare skin of your tummy, causing goosebumps to spread all over the area.

"You shouldn't overdo it with the help, ma. You gotta think about yourself, too. Would they do the same shit for you if you asked them to? Or would they all of a sudden have plans, or a dentist appointment that was scheduled six months ago?"

You sigh, frustrated, because one of those excuses was used on you just a few days ago. "I know..." you groan with all the exhaustion you feel in your body. "You're right, though. I'm not at work, anymore. I'm home, now, with you, and you're taking me out of the work mindset," you say, delivering his words back to him in a manner that lets him know that you believe it. That you trust that he'll bring you peace of mind after a day that lacked so much of it.

"Damn right. Just let me be good to you. You don't have to say anything else, right now. It's me and you."

He unbuttons your pants and pulls down the zipper. His fingers hook around the waistband and lower it.

"Lift your hips for me, baby," Toji requests, smoothly pulling down the waistband so that you can fully relax on the bed, again, after. The coolness of the room reaches your skin, eliciting more little pebbles on your skin, as he continues to roll down the material until your legs are entirely bared. He tosses the article aside and goes back to touching you with all the delicacy he can muster. His hands wrap around your calves, smoothly maneuvering around so that they end up on your shins, caressing the expanse in soothing motions.

You feel his lips on your knee, a couple kisses pressed to the area before he switches to the other one. His kisses trail higher up, following along the path of your thigh, then he switches off, again, giving your other thigh the same treatment. You keep your eyes shut all the while, feeling everything you receive from Toji in a heightened sense. You've entrusted him with your body. How he chooses to take care of it is entirely up to him for the moment.

His hands warm your outer thighs as he progresses towards your hips, then your lower abdomen. You can feel yourself growing more and more tired with every caress and every featherlight kiss brushed over your skin. It's all so soothing and you feel so safe. You feel like he's lifting a weight off your entire body, allowing you to release all the tension you feel, and clear your mind of what's stressing you out, even if it's only temporary.

"Sleeepy princess," Toji murmurs to himself when he peeks up and sees your chest rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm. He places a couple more kisses on your tummy, nearing the bottom of your bra, before pulling away, with the intention of letting you rest.

"Wait... don't stop. Please," you mumble, tiredly. "You haven't kissed here..." you run your hand over the upper part of your chest. "...or here," you say, dragging it towards your neck.

"My bad, little lady," he says, with a soft chuckle. "Thought you were asleep, already." His hands land on your waist and mold around it, proceeding with calming up and down motions.

"It feels nice," you mumble. "Like I'm resting in a room full of clouds," you elaborate, with a comfortable sigh. "You're doing a really good job. I feel much more at ease. Thank you, baby."

"Don't worry about it, ma," Toji responds, quietly.

It feels good to hear those words from you. The roughness of his warm hands on your body doesn't bother you, neither does the feeling of his scar against your skin. They do the complete opposite for you. His hands reach for you and cradle you whenever they want to and you never deny or reject him. He's never felt the need to ask for permission to hold you, because you always receive him in such a warm and loving manner. It feels good to know that he is capable of making you feel better in this way.

Toji moves higher up your body, his palms planted on either side of you to maintain balance. He leans down to continue his rounds of kisses, now on your chest. Your hands go to the back of his head and gently bring him closer. It's an invitation for him to rest his body on yours, and he gladly accepts.

"You just love getting crushed by me, don't you?" He teases, as he positions himself so that both of you can be comfortable in this sudden arrangement.

"Mhm. The heated weighted blanket, human teddy bear combination can never go wrong," you respond. "Do you not like lying down on me?"

"Those words did not leave my mouth, did they?" He asks, placing a kiss on your collarbone.

"Are you thinking it?"

"No," he replies, the single word serving as a good enough response to end your doubts.

"Okay," you hum, quieting down after.

He smears some gentle kisses onto your neck, pressing the tip of his nose into the area where he smells your perfume strongly. He sighs, contentedly, at the familiarity and presses a few more kisses onto the space below it, before merely resting against you. It's as if he indulged in so much of your warmth and presence, that he managed to soothe himself while he was helping you wind down. He's in some sort of daze—like you unknowingly put a spell on him that just threw him into a state of serenity. He feels like he could just shut his eyes and get the best sleep in your embrace.

"Love you, bear," you murmur, slowly rubbing his back.

"Mm," he hums, another soft, relaxed sigh leaving his chest. "Love you, ma."

[littelovelunette]

Omg i need more of that age gap secret relationship sevika stuff 😭😭 This time reader is at like a family gathering in some restaurant annoyed out of her mind from her family’s words and she sneaks outside just to find sevika waiting for her outside and they’re just fucking in the back alley of the restaurant 😭😭

Only If They Knew (2)

Contains smut, age gap, implications of getting caught, degradation, implications of exaggerated age gap, rough fingering, mentions of homophobic parents, pussy slapping

The family members were talking, loud noises and clattering of dishes making your head feel all dizzy, you just wished you could be with Sevika.

Crossing your arms across your chest, you stared blankly at your parents who were making ridiculous jokes about your cousins and all other weird things you could care less about.

You got up, "I'm off to the bathroom," you said in a soft tone before you stalked off, heels clicking after yourself as you walked in the bathroom, texting Sevika to come over. You fixed your makeup, making sure you looked all proper for your very very older girlfriend.

Your parents would never approve, heck they would never even approve the fact that you decided to go les.

They would freak out if they ever found out and even if you were old enough to move out, you preferred to keep it low for now.

Your phone vibrated in your purse and you looked at the text that said, " I'm here, doll."

You couldn't help smile at the text, grabbing your phone up and texted her, "I'm coming."

"You'll be saying that later," Sevika texted back and you huffed a laugh rolling your eyes. You took your purse, walking out of the restaurant trying to avoid your family from seeing you on the way.

As you walked out, you smiled at the sight of the tall woman waiting for you. Sevika led you to the alley between the restaurant wall and another building, pinning you to the brick wall, "Wanted to see your big bad girlfriend during a family gathering, huh? It's like you just got wilder for me," Sevika said, her voice a raspy whisper.

You giggled and gasped as Sevika pulled your panties down from under your dress, her fingers working effortlessly as she pocketed the garment

"What are you doing?" You whispered at her.

"Nothing, bunny, just enjoy," Sevika smirked a little before she pushed two digits inside your dripping cunt, flesh of her palm rubbing against your clit making you jerk a little.

"N-not here," you moaned in her ear, "Please, anyone could see us."

"Oh yeah? But you'd like it wouldn't you?" Sevika said with a small growl, fingers digging deeper in your dripping wet mess, "You're getting off at the thought of it."

"D-Dont make it sound so dirty..." You whined out, burying your face at the crook of Sevika's neck as you tried to keep your whimpers and moans low.

"Uh-huh? You love it, you dirty little slut, being fucked by a woman almost twice your age in an alleyway while your mummy and daddy are at the restaurant next building," Sevika curled her fingers making you gasp, "Admit it, you love it."

You gasped, and whimpered lowly. Your eyes closed in embarrassment and you nodded meekly.

For Sevika, your nod wasn't enough, she pulled her fingers out and delivered a slap to your pussy making you gasp and whine.

"Y-Yes, I love it," you answered her as you tried to grind on her hand where she hit you. Sevika smirked, "Be a good girl. Keep quiet." Sevika pushed her fingers back in your cunt and started twisting them and thrusting them fast.

"you love it so fucking much you're creaming on my fingers. little slut you're enjoying this huh?" sevika added a third finger making your eyes roll back as you tried to grab onto her shoulders for support.

"it feels good it's so good." you whispered in her ear as sevika gave her fingers one last thrust and you gasped, squirting over her fingers and your liquids streamed onto the street below. sevika laughed softly, the sound a deep rumble from her chest.

"did so well, my love." she took put her other hand in her back pocket and withdrew some wet napkins to clean you off. "your legs are shaking." sevika commented.

"you're so mean." you mumbled softly as sevika cleaned you off and pulled your panties over your ass, giving it a small pat.

"you'll be fine." sevika leaned in and kissed your head before you wrapped your arms around her and puckered up your lips for a proper kiss.

sevika rolled her eyes but gave in, kissing you deeply as her hands squeezed and palmed your body through your dress, her tongue delving inside your mouth with years of experience.

"be a good girl." sevika said with a warning tone and you couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips. "i'll be fine, i love you baby."

you started walking to the restaurant again despite being a little shaky. sevika cleaned her fingers off, putting her hands in her pockets. "love you too..."

[tsuyalovebot]

certified mind blower.

explicit sexual content. mdni, ageless blogs dni.

xia yi zhou / caleb x reader. (repost)

cw. drabble (~1k wc, written in one sitting. ignore any typos). afab reader. established relationship. oral sex (reader receiving). face sitting. caleb spanks you once. improper use of evol. mentions of unprotected sex & creampie. spitting (he pushes his spit into you. deadass). use of pipsqueak. caleb typical warnings (he's a filthy freak, to no one's surprise). 

mimi's missive: your honor, i have no defense for this one. anyway, it's me again; happy belated valentines. take this while i work on my full-length caleb piece; "this" being total filth. also i reposted this because i noticed way too many errors the first time i posted it. enjoy.

you're watching caleb wash the dishes when you say, "i want to sit on your face tonight."

or, one night, just before bedtime, you tell caleb that you want to try face sitting. 

he was fidgeting the entire time, no matter how calm and gentle he tried to appear while the two of you went over the details. you had no idea if he was nervous because he might end up not liking it, or because he might like it too much. 

(little did you know, he was trying his reaaal hardest to not bust a nut the second you proposed it. would caleb ever admit it? no. absolutely not. he's gotta appear cool in front of you, after all. maybe he would own up to it though, after it's all over.) 

but later that night, while he's tonguing you with that lithe, pink muscle in such a delicious, mind-boggling manner, something is piqued and it isn't your interest. your eyebrows raise with every calculated lick over the crevices, the folds, smooth with spit.

he's kind of a natural at this.

the fingers in his hair now belong to you just as much as the rest of him. "you're weirdly good at this. are you sure you've never tried this with anyone else?" 

it wasn't intended to come off insecure; you tried to deliver it as nonchalant as possible whilst your fingers were busy in his hair. 

he knows better though. caleb peers up at you with those stupidly beady eyes—now, however, they were droopy with a deeply rooted contentment. you feel him smile, loopy, drunk on your flavor. you wonder if he'd willingly let himself be suffocated under your body weight like this.

"hmm?" 

the vibrations would make any person's toes curl, traitorous thighs flexing around his head. the idiot moans in unabashed approval, low and shameless as he keeps his eyes on you. 

one large palm of his takes a greedily handful of your ass, and smacks. hot air is breathed out over your skin, his tongue flat against the tender flesh, drinking up the flood of arousal that soaked your labia. 

"questionin' my loyalty after all these years? when i've got my mouth full of you? i'm wounded," he dryly replies. despite his words, he doesn't sound mad at all. more pleased, if anything, undoubtedly by the way it fed his ego. 

you huff, bottom lip jutting out.  "well, you seem plenty experienced—"

"eh, not really."

caleb's adjusting the position with a tight, guiding grip so you weren't fully seated down on him. blowing onto the perky, swollen hood at the apex of your core. enamored, he was drinking in every groove and fold of your bare sex. embarrassment creeps up your spine with a vengeance so violent, you nearly bolt. 

he muses quietly, "dreams will never compare to the real thing." 

"what're you—"

"ah-ah-ah. talk later. also, weirdly good? what's your basis for comparison, huh?"

caleb pulls you back down, groaning hotly as the taste floods his palate. the ravenous glitter in those smoldering lilac eyes reduce him into something primal, wanting to satiate his most base needs. and that was only possible through you. 

and you're keening above him, hands frantically holding onto the headboard in a series of breathless gasps. it's cute; it makes him internally cheese at his effect on you. unfortunately, you don't seem to share the same sentiment, because you're promptly trying to get off of his head as your stomach tenses.

"caleb," you moan, and some branch of his sanity snaps clean off. 

it shatters when you absentmindedly grind your hips, fucking dragging the folds of your cunt up his chin, lips, nudging his nose, leaving a trail of your slick and his spit on his face. 

a plea from you, "wait, it's too direct—"

shrapnels of iridescent midnight and scarlet spark around your hips, fireworks in the palm of your hands. it takes a moment to register, but he devours the transformation of your expression nonetheless. the dazed look, the confusion, the realization. 

and caleb's the picture boy of arrogance as he activates his evol, forcing you to stay in position. the indignation that sparks in your body is only minimized by the thick, sweet moisture that drips onto his chin, one he's eager to lap up, the ambrosia honeyed in the back of his throat.

the world was truly cruel for ever trying to separate the both of you.

"since when did i say you could move? you can't just get up and leave me here, pipsqueak. surely, you aren't cruel enough to deny me some bonding with you." 

the tip of his tongue dips into the soft hole of your sex, curling experimentally. air humming around your bodies, one arm curled over your thigh, the other hand snaking around to smooth over your chest as he spells his name into your cunt. 

c-a-l-e-b. 

then in morse code, dragged out lines and probes. 

then his last name. 

and m-i-n-e.

"if signing papers at work was as easy as this, i'd have more allies than i have enemies." he hums in satisfaction, utterly lovesick as he drags his sticky lips up to suck on your clitoris, savoring the way your muscles tense and quiver in anticipation of your climbing orgasm. he can't wait to taste that.

"you're just as mouthy down here as you are up there, y'know," he comments, eyelids crinkling into crescent moons. as if he didn't say something so profoundly lewd that it'd make any sex enthusiast blush. 

"you must really like talking to me more than you let on." 

he plants a smooch over your drooling entrance, affectionate, as if it'd silence the little squelching noises it made with every slow contraction of your inner muscles. 

contemplation solidifies into surety on his handsome face, his hungry eyes turning into something more tangy, more mischievous. the crackles of his evol warp around you. 

you get the sudden, immense feeling that you're in for it. that you're in danger.

he presses his mouth up to your core, stare intent and full of a love so potent you think you're gonna be sick. "do you think if i come inside, it'll swallow just like you do?"

the air leaves your lungs. you wheeze, "caleb—"

"you'd let me test it, right?" he asks, voice softened by the need edging behind it. "you're always so good. you'd let me, wouldn't you?"

before you could retort on how he was asking so many questions, you're suddenly being flipped. the world spins, and you mistakenly take it as the end of the entire damn universe, squeezing your eyes shut as wind lashes at your skin and your back hits the cushion. 

when you open them, you're kind of bent. upper body splayed on the bedspread, your lower body awkwardly held up by caleb's arms — thighs still snug on either side of his head. now, he's urgently tucking pillows underneath your hips, angling you up, smearing another kiss onto your cunt. everything done with such fluidity, not an ounce of struggle in his taut, muscular form. 

then he spits, and you flinch. before you could even ask what the hell he was doing, he buries his face into you, tongue shamelessly pushing and pulsing against your spasming pussy — letting his spittle pool in there like a filthy brand. heat boils in your lower belly, burning your skin and you're clenching before you could think it through.

"fuck," he whispers. the rare curse slipping like a prayer from his swollen lips, awe heavy in his inflection. "you really drank it up." 

was the bedroom always this hot?

caleb, once so composed and the epitome of restraint, appeared voracious from this position. and the sight of your cunt squeezing around air, pulling the webbed mixture of his saliva and your arousal into the sinful cradle of your walls. 

gravity is the coil of a snake around your body, and you're the very fruit he's craved. caleb hums, thoughtful and pleased, just before diving back in, "let's find out."

[whos-the-seme]

Shen Yuan is actually a cuddle bug. Had a ton of Luo Binghe body pillows back home not just for the merch reasons but because he needs something in his bed to squeeze when he's sleeping.

Since he started having weekly planning (boozing and bitching) sessions with Shang Qinghua, he sometimes accidentally sleeps over. After he's finished his paperwork and started on some of Qinghua's, sometimes the wine gets to him and he's just so sleepy. Or, sometimes, Shang Qinghua will let the other read some of the short stories he had written early on in his transmigration when fighting to not lose his mind. Shen Yuan would critique them, before harassing him to publish them anonymously.

("Oh, so you are capable of writing more than papapa trash."

"Aw, you like it?" "...it's good." 🙄)

But by the time he finished them, it would be so late, and it didn't make much sense to leave when a bed was right there. And Shang Qinghua had custom ordered goose feather pillows and blankets, which was so unlike his porcelain pillows, and Shang Qinghua himself is right there. Therefore. The man himself becomes his new object of comfort when asleep.

At first, Shang Qinghua used to just wave it off. Then he started to playfully complain and tease about how clingy Shen Yuan was in his sleep, and Shen Yuan would grumble and turn bright red and turn his back on him... only for them to wake up with Shen Yuan basically curled around the other like an octopus in the morning. And then it just became normal because, of course, they really only had each other, so like why not? It brought them both comfort and two people could totally cuddle platonically.

Before long, more than half the week, Shen Yuan was spending the night over, and some rare times, Shang Qinghua goes to the bamboo house. Shang Qinghua learns when to give up his piles of paperwork when his friend starts getting tired and to get more fucking rest himself. Otherwise, Shen Yuan will just walk in, curl up on his lap with his head resting on Shang Qinghua's shoulder, and fall asleep there.

("Really? I ordered those extra stuffed pillows for you, you know. Go to bed, I'll be done in a minute."

"Ugh, shut up, sleeping isn't the same when you're out here ordering new fighting posts for Bai Zhan Peak for the 5th time this month. I'll just wait here for you to finish."

"In my lap...? That's kinda gay--" 😏

"Qinghua."

"Shutting up and finishing the work." )

Those of An Ding Peak, being the peak that was basically the backbone of the entire sect and kept it running through sweat, blood, and some other bodily fluids, knew how to keep secrets from other peaks. You don't become a disciple there without knowing how to keep your mouth shut when outsiders are around. But between each other, whispers abound.

"I don't think Shen-shibo has left in two days," one disciple murmurs to another when they see Shen Qingqiu flouncing around yet again, ordering one of the disciples to bring some two small meals to their Shifu's rooms for a late dinner.

"Do you think they're... you know?" Another asks quietly after delivering some new contracts to their Shifu. The door to his bedroom had been slightly ajar, and through the cracks, green leaf-pattern outer robes were on the ground.

("I'm not sleeping in these, okay! You should have written in pajamas while you were busy adding in chocolate, and whatever else doesn't exist in Ancient China, to PIDW!" 😒

"Oh my god, just sleep in your inner robes, then! Better yet, borrow some of my clothes. But you're sure as fuck not sleeping naked on my silk sheets, bro!")

The disciples on Qing Jing Peak certainly notice when the bamboo hut isn't occupied for the night. At first, they just thought that their Shizun was extra silent in his house now, but once, Ming Fan had to go to Shizun for a small issue late in the evening, and he wasn't there. Nor was he there the next night, or the next. They're not sure where he is, or what he's doing, but he's always there in the morning, so they don't worry too much.

On the fourth night, Shizun was home, but Shang-shishu was also there. And... stayed there. The lights went out, and the disciples who were sent out to spy came back and reported that Shang-shishu had never left.

("He... is Shang-shishu still in there?"

"I think so. M-maybe he stayed in the extra bedroom?"

"..." 👀

"..." 👀)

The disciples eye each other and simultaneously agree to never let those outside the peak know about this. When crossing paths with A Ding disciples, there are discreet looks and nods of understanding, and they pass each other by with not a word.

(Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua?)

----

One bright and sunny morning, Liu Qingge slams his way into Shang Qinghua's office. He is followed by Mu Qingfang, and Yue Qingyuan, all needing to speak with Shang Qingqua to figure out Shen Qingqiu's whereabouts. He wasn't in his bamboo hut this morning, nor was he anywhere else that he typically frequented.

Mu Qingfang because it was time for his bimonthly check-up to ensure that his treatments with Liu Qingge were progressing as they should. Yue Qingyuan due to peak matters (though, technically, he could do it on his own, but if he got to see Xiao Jiu--). Liu Qingge because the beast that he had dropped on his doorstep yesterday afternoon had yet to be removed, which was odd. And also, he had ordered new fighting posts a week ago, and usually they would have been delivered by now, which was also odd.

Wei Qingwei and Qi Qingqi also follow along because they could smell drama. And also they were a tiny bit worried about their shixiong. Whenever he disappeared for too long, it was likely that he had gotten kidnapped or poisoned. Again.

Shang Qinghua scrambles out of his bed chambers with hastily thrown-on outer robes, blurry-eyed, screaming "Whoosit!?" He barely has time to open his mouth before he is instantly bombarded with several requests, most of them pertaining to the apparent missing peak lord. Liu Qingge also asks about his fighting posts, which Shang Qinghua pretends not to hear.

"We've not seen him in a few days," Mu Qingfang says to him over the noise, with an apologetic smile for waking up his overworked shixiong. "I know you two are somewhat friends, so if you see him soon, please tell him he really needs to come to Qian Cao for his next physical."

"Wait, who's missing? Ah, please don't touch that." The last part is directed at Qi Qingqi, who is combing through his shelves. "Shen Qingqiu is apparently missing, according to this bunch," Qi Qingqi says, smirking at him. She pokes the figurine he told her not to touch. Oh well, she'll realize why he told her not to touch it soon enough.

"Shen Qingqiu? What do you mean, he's--" Shang Qinghua instantly closes his mouth, hoping that no one heard that. "I-I mean, yeah, I'll let you guys know if he stops by! No problem, will absolutely send him your way--" "What was that?" Liu Qingge narrows his eyes at him. "You were about to say something. You know where he is. Tell me."

Shang Qinghua begins to sweat immediately. "Whaaat? No, you must have heard wrong. Seriously, I'll let you guys know if I catch him. Now, if you guys can be on your way--" He starts trying to herd people out.

Unbeknownst to him, his bedroom door cracks open and a figure, eyes barely open, shuffles out and heads towards him. Wei Qingwei, idling in the office, is the first to notice the person wearing another set of An Ding Blue outer robes over soft Qing Jing Green inner ones. His jaw drops.

"Qinghua?" A soft, sleepy voice murmurs in his ear, arms circling around his waist and a head laying on his shoulder from behind. "It's too early, come back to bed." A small yawn.

Shang Qinghua can feel himself freeze with a nervous smile on his face.

Shit.

[elllisaaa]

BROUGHT THE HEAT BACK - L. HEESEUNG

KINKTOBER DAY 25 - OVERSTIMULATION + SEX WORK

SUMMARY : when a client offers a generous amount of bills to get a private show from you, you have no other choice but to say yes. after all, you need that money and the guy is handsome, you couldn't ask for more.

-> pairing : rich!heeseung x stripper!reader

-> words count : 2.6k

-> genre : smut

-> warnings : overstimulation (obviously), sex work, multiple orgasms, teasing, dirty talk, praising, dry humping, oral (f. receiving), breast play, hair pulling, fingering,

+ the way i'm depicting heeseung does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | enha masterlist | kinktober 2024

You usually didn’t remember what your clients looked like. Most of the time, it was because you just didn’t want to keep their faces in your memory. Some other time, your brain just decided that it was better for you to just forget. It wasn’t very easy for you to recall faces anyway, so you just left it there. And as a stripper, you preferred it that way, because you didn’t want to go to the grocery store, run into a client, and remember they were literally throwing money for you to shake your ass the night before. 

However, there was this one man that you couldn’t seem to forget about. He always came in in perfectly tailored suits that looked like they cost two months of rent, always ordered the most expensive drinks on the menu, and always looked at the show like he wasn’t that interested. Though, you were often feeling his eyes on you when you came closer to where he had the habit of sitting. You loved that he wasn’t trying to touch you like some other men here, you loved that he seemed almost nonchalant about the whole thing. But most of all, you and all the other strippers knew that when that man came in, he always left so much money that you were safe for a while. You never understood why, but apparently, he always insisted on you getting more money than the others. And while you weren’t complaining about it, you found it odd considering the way he never asked, nor tried to ask for a private show, for more. 

“- Mr. Money might come in tonight, he was there on the same date last month.”

You listened to one of your coworkers yapping as you finished getting ready. That was arguably your favourite part of the job - putting on sparkly and glittery makeup according to the lingerie sets you were wearing, doing your hair, feeling yourself. You loved it. And you had to admit, when you felt like that man might be coming, you always put on a little more effort than usual. Was it because he always tipped well and you wanted to make the money worth for him ? Or was it because that man intrigued you, because he was way more handsome than all the other ones that came in here ? 

Usually, he didn’t come in before the first show had already ended, but for once, he was there early, already settled with his drink in his typical seat. You couldn’t help the small smile that creeped up your face as you got in place for the first set of the night with the other girls, ready to deliver your performance just as good as usual, maybe even better since he was there to watch. Everytime you were near his side, he would make eye contact with you and not break it before you did. By the time the set ended and some clients came up to the strippers to ask for private shows, you started to pick up the money that had been thrown at you.

“- You could have been a real dancer, you know ? You’re talented.”

Your head snapped up, met with the intense gaze of that same man again. You stayed speechless for a while, trying to come up with a good answer that will not make you look like a loser in front of the man that literally paid for your apartment at this point. 

“- Are you saying what I’m doing isn’t real dance ?”

The man’s smile widened, a glimmer of playfulness going through his eyes as he looked at you bending down to pick up even more bills. 

“- Not at all. I wouldn’t keep coming here if I didn’t enjoy the show, don’t you think ?

- Yeah, that would be strange.”

What w as even stranger was that you didn’t want this conversation to end so soon. You didn’t want him to leave. 

“- Are you available for a private show right now ? I know your boss told me that you don't do them often, but I’ll pay well. And I’ve been wanting one for a long time now.”

Usually, you would’ve declined. You had the liberty to do what you wanted with your private shows. And ultimately, what you earned between your tips as a waitress during the day and the money you made at night when you danced was enough for you to live off. But sometimes a little bit of an extra couldn’t hurt, right ? Especially when you knew that the man in question had money. So you nodded at him as you attempted to get off the stage in your high heels. You were surprised to see the man holding his hand out for you to grab it to help you get back on the floor. You weren’t used to clients being gentlemen, but you liked it, and he gave you even more reasons to give him a good show. You stayed careful though, because you experienced too many assholes who acted like good guys to get back at you right after. 

“- Follow me.”

You guided the man to the room you used for your private shows. It had been a while since anyone had stepped in it, because this mysterious man had made it optional to do these kinds of shows with how much he tipped. The lights were already turned on, a faded gold glow mixing with the purple neon lights also illuminating the room. A pole bar was standing in the middle of the room, right in front of a black leather couch that was so comfortable you could've slept on it. 

“- Make yourself at ease. Do you want another drink ?

- Yeah, why not ? Can you make me another one of these ?

- Of course.”

You headed over the mini-bar that was behind the couch, getting out everything you needed to prepare the drink he always ordered. Your gestures were precise and controlled, and you could feel his eyes on you the whole time. And he didn’t even make an attempt at hiding it when you turned around to hand him his fresh new drink, smiling up at you as he took a sip of it. 

“- This is really good. You’re talented for many things it seems, Y/N, right ?”

You nodded as you walked over the small music player. You were trying to find which one of your routines would be the most fitting for the current mood.

“- I’m a woman full of surprises. 

- I can see that. My name’s Heeseung, by the way.”

Heeseung. It was great to finally be able to put a name on the one that had been quite literally paying your bills for months. You smiled at him as you watched in his direction again, and if usually, you had to force your smile for it to seem seductive or genuine, tonight, it felt like everything was so easy. 

“- Well, Heeseung, is there anything in particular you want to see ? Any demands ? Though, I have to warn you, nothing more than dance will be happening, this is out of my range of actions.

- Of course, I understand. Do whatever you feel comfortable with pretty, I’ll enjoy it either way.”

This was an unexpected response for you yet again. Typically, men would always have their conditions and they wanted you to meet them. But not Heeseung. And it made you more comfortable, made you want to give him a whole show for all the money he had given you over these past months. He had deserved it. The music started to play as you walked to the poll bar, the first notes of Fetish by Selena Gomez filling up the small room as you started dancing to one of your sexiest and most lascivious combos. You rarely did it in front of your clients, except some regulars that you enjoyed the company of. But Heeseung could be considered a regular at this point, and something in you wanted to prove him that he didn’t do a mistake by investing so much money in you. 

Paradoxically, this was also one of your favourite combos too, and you were happy to perform it again. Heeseung had spread his legs comfortably on the couch as your hips, legs and arms swayed to the rhythm of the music, not missing one beat. And there was something in his eyes as you started to crawl on the floor, coming closer to him, there was something that made you want to do more for him than you ever did for any of your clients. So while you would usually stop at their feet and give them a show, you used his thighs as a support to get back on your feet, your hands way higher than what decency would suggest was acceptable. You distinctly heard his breath hitch in his throat as you leaned over him for a few seconds, his eyes drifting down to your lips. 

Then, you turned around, continuing to sensually dance to the music that would soon come to an end. And as the last notes rang, you sat down on his lap, biting your lip as you looked back at him over your shoulder. Your breath was short as another song followed in the background, but you didn’t move, staying right there, staring into Heeseung’s eyes. And he seemed so entranced, so out of it that you didn’t dare say something. 

“- Fuck… Are you doing this to all of your clients, pretty ? 

- No… Just you.”

Maybe you shouldn't have said that, maybe you shouldn’t have done so much when he was only supposed to be another client. But then again, Heeseung wasn’t any common clients either. And something in him, something in the way his eyes darkened when the words left your mouth, something in the way he couldn’t detach his eyes from your lips made you want to go even further to satisfy his needs - and yours. 

And yes, kissing your clients wasn’t part of your job, you weren’t a prostitute after all, but you could give Heeseung a ride for all the money he gave you. And yes, you shouldn’t have enjoyed it this much, but you did, and you did not regret a thing as Heeseung helped you turn around and straddle his lap properly, his hands staying around your waist as he pulled you in another kiss that left you dizzy. Dizzy and hungry for more. 

“- Shit… I really hope I’m the only one you’re giving this kind of show to.

- You are. You definitely are.”

Before Heeseung could even think of adding something else, your mouth was back on his, and anything that wasn’t you and your gorgeous body grinding down on top of him flew right out of his mind. He didn’t care about all the money he gave you, you were definitely worth it, more than worth it. He had dreamt about your soft skin and your pretty curves, about feeling them under his hands so many times. And now that he had you, he was barely able to hold back the urge to devour you. With one swift movement that made you gasp in surprise, Heeseung had laid you down on the couch, your back comfortably resting against the cushions as he spread your legs, his hands sliding up your thighs until they met your lace panties. 

“- Just let me do all the work, pretty. Let me thank you. Let me spoil you.”

He searched for an answer in your eyes, and as you nodded, biting down on your lips, he didn’t waste anymore time to get rid of your underwear. Immediately, his mouth was on you : his tongue was lapping at your folds hungrily, one of his hands keeping you pinned to the couch and the other one going higher to massage your breasts. You moaned out at the feeling of so many different stimulations at a time. Your fingers tangled into his hair, pulling on his strands when he licked you in a way that felt particularly good. And Heeseung didn’t even care to push your legs apart when you closed them around his head, only burying his face deeper into your cunt - if he was going to die suffocated by your thighs, tasting your juices, then he would die a happy man. 

“- You taste so fucking sweet, pretty… I cannot get enough…”

His chin and lips were covered in your arousal, but he didn’t seem to care either as he got back to work as soon as he felt your hips buck up for more. Every sound that came out of his mouth felt like music to your ears, it was almost as if he liked this even more than you. And you couldn’t keep your own noises to yourself either, the pleasure coursing through your veins far too intense to stay quiet. 

“- Heeseung… I’m close…

- Go on, pretty, cum all over my face, you deserved it…”

As if his words were all you needed to let go, you felt your orgasm crashing over you. You cried out his name, your hips moving faster against his face and Heeseung made sure to swallow every drop of your slick, his eyes sparkling with an insatiable hunger as he looked up at you. He was completely disheveled, completely on the opposite side of how put together he always looked but he didn’t seem to care, and neither did you - you liked that desperate and needy style on him. Though, you couldn’t lie, maybe you were the needy one as you moaned out when he pushed two of his fingers inside of you, the slight overstimulation making it feel even better. 

“-  You did so good for me, pretty… 

- Heeseung… I…

- What do you want ? Tell me Y/N, tell me and I’ll do it, I’ll give it to you.”

This time, it was your eyes that were filled with a craving for him as you cupped his face in between your hands, bringing him down to your lips so you could kiss him. Your legs were shaking and your mind was completely fogged up by the pleasure he was giving to you, by the way he didn’t care about the raging bulge deforming his pants, by the way he was so focused on you and making you feel good that he didn’t even realize when your second orgasm washed over you, that he didn’t even stopped and continued thrusting his fingers and rubbing your clit the right way until your eyes were rolling back and your pussy was soaked. 

You remembered how men treated you, how they didn’t care about your pleasure as long as they emptied their balls. And here was Heeseung, with a darker spot growing on his dress pants because he wanted to make you cum again, and again, until you couldn’t see straight anymore. And maybe that you shouldn’t think like that when you were so overwhelmed, and maybe that you shouldn’t have let him go this far, and maybe that you shouldn’t have accepted all his money. But you couldn’t deny how he was making you feel, how he made you feel worth it. 

“- I want you Heeseung, I need you…” And you didn’t have any idea of how bad he needed you too, of how bad he wanted to give you everything he had. The way you were clenching down on him and begging for more only convinced him that you were made for him. He was going to spoil you, to give you everything you wanted and needed until you were ready to let him be yours.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

enha masterlist (fill in this to be added) :

@bbgnyx @hann1bee @rikiives @puppy-minnie @binniesbabygirl @foxinnie8 @lala-----------lala @seomisaho @han-to-my-minho @dylanobr1ens @straytiny127

kinktober masterlist (comment or dm to be added) :

@d-dilemma @bath1lda @anxiousskylar @mikaelless @leeknowingg

[squirrellypoo]

Loustat fic rec

Since my last fic roundup it appears I've been promoted into the role of Loustat fic librarian, LOL. I've been asked for a lot more recomendations, and I thought I'd group these thematically rather than by length or AU type. There's a few repeats here from the previous list but that just means you really should read them!

Time-bending

“Once more, with feeling” Human Loustat are caught in a time loop, repeating the same day over and over… By @cher-horowitz

“Come (Back) to Me” Modern painter Louis is drawn to a painting an an old chateau and time travels back to the 18th century to meet the young marquis in the portrait… By @suikamelon6

“Return” Modern vampire Louis suddenly time travels to 18th c Paris, where he encounters human Lestat and Nicki at the theatre… (ongoing)

“Ten Minutes” Lestat’s caught in a time loop, destined to relive the Paris trial again and again

“Daniel Molloy, Time Bandit” Daniel time travels from 1980s Night Island back to 1790s TdV where Armand doesn’t know him, but is intrigued… (This one's not Loustat but I still wanted to include it)

Fairy Tales

“Tale as Old as Time” Beauty and the Beast AU with Loustat trapped in a cursed castle

“Fly Away with Me” Peter Pan AU mixing childhood memories of the du Lac children flying to Neverland with grown-up Louis and Pan/Lestat (ongoing)

“La Bête” Human Louis travels to France to research a mysterious 18th tale of a beast that roamed the Auvergne… (ongoing) (Not a straight 1:1 fairytale but fuck it, I love this one so much and it deserves more readers) By @penguinsandbats

“Bittersweet” (ch18) Standalone Beauty and the Beast Loustat chapter from a month-long challenge

“Rumpelstiltskin” Louis wakes up in the Dubai penthouse and must complete tasks for his mysterious captor will eat him (Loumand, not Loustat)

“The Wolf Fur Slipper” Prince Louis must get married, and a Cinder-fella Lestat dreams of escaping his awful family to live in a fairy tale romance…

Crossovers

IWTV x The Newsreader: “One of our Reporters Is Missing” The original crossover fic! Louis sees Dale on Australian tv, and travels to reunite with what he thinks is a mind-wiped Lestat. By @angstosaur

IWTV x The Newsreader: “Roving” Helen Norville meets up with Daniel Molloy in the 1980s in America and travels to NOLA, tapes in tow, and stumbles upon Lestat…

IWTV x The Newsreader: “I thought we could have an orgy” Loustat/TimDale PWP set in the Darwin episode of S1

IWTV x Cunk on Life: “Cunk on Fangs” Philomena Cunk is asked by her good friend Daniel Molloy to travel to Dubai to interview a vampire with him… (ongoing)

IWTV x Ted Lasso: “No Such Thing As Bad Publicity” Keeley is employed to improve Lestat’s PR for his European tour

IWTV x Killing Eve: “In the White Room (L’homme Lestat)” modern vampire story where Lestat is kidnapped by a mysterious organisation and forced to become their assassin while Louis and Armand try to help/rescue him with help from Villanelle. By @angstosaur

IWTV x True Blood: “Under the Blood Moon” Human Louis finds out at his dad’s funeral that the company is bankrupt and meets a vampire Lestat at a dive bar while he’s drowning his sorrows (ongoing/abandoned?)

(There's also some IWTV x Hannibal ones but I'm not really into that show SORRY! Feel free to suggest some in your RBs if you're into it though)

Sex Workers

“Before You See Me” Human AU with sex worker Louis hired to help heal a heartbroken and newly blind actor Sebastian Wilde (Lestat). Sex with all the feelings. By @suikamelon6

“Many happy returns” Modern human PWP with sex worker Lestat delivering a birthday gift to Louis in the library

“Make me, break me, shake me” Human AU with escorts Loustat as roommates until Louis realises what Lestat really needs - a good dicking.

“Baby Treat me Nice” Human AU with kindergarten teacher Louis discovering the dad of one of his students is actually his Only Fans crush… (ongoing/abandoned?)

“Assignment” Modern AU with an anxious and stressed human Louis requesting professional services to lose his virginity, and a blond man appears at his door... By @riley-beautrelle

“Pretty Boy” Daniel discovers after Dubai that Lestat became a porn star after being left for dead and penniless and is now the highest paid gay porn star in America

“Music When the Sun Goes Down” Modern human/vampire AU with sugar baby Louis gaining a new & exclusive rich blond client… (ongoing/abandoned?)

I've tried to tag authors where I can but my memory is terrible when AO3 & Tumblr handles differ... sorry!

[notawomanimagod]

Read a bunch of Silco/Reader fics this past week, so I'm going to link my favs here for my fellow Silco enjoyers to enjoy

I can't believe I hadn't read AU fics before, I devoured two in the past three days. I am a sucker for Silco being unable to let anyone in and all the tension that brings. I love his canon characterization but I also really enjoy seeing how he's written by different people and how they make him human.It itches a part of my brain SO well.

And since I don't really strongly ship him with anyone, I've ended up reading a lot of Silco/Reader fics instead (oops)

1. Crawlin' Back to You by SorataTakano

One of the most exquisite and grounded slow burn fics I've ever read. You feel like you're literally in Zaun. This single handedly reignited my need to write again.

(200k+ words, still being updated )

2. ichthyological studies by beskars

Single Dad Silco enrolls Jinx in a local art class and ends up flirting with the art teacher. It's just fluffy and tooth rottingly sweet

Silco is an absolute sweetheart in this, and it is SO adorable. Like,, they go to see sharks in an aquarium together and shit. ADORABLE!! (Also, text convos between them)I have been kicking my legs and smiling reading this, also it's being updated quite quickly.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62249971

3. As We Fall by @starryeyed-spacegirl

First Arcane AU fic I read and it pleasantly surprised me. It's got everything: powerful Modern Businessman Silco , Barista reader who works at The Last Drip, bonding with Jinx over horror movies etc etc

Sevika, Jinx, Ekko + more OCs that feel so natural. Good mix between serious plot and domesticity.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40227708

4. a heavy kind of madness by summercourtship

Reader is a Piltie that ends up working for Silco and delivering messages for him. Fun to read about someone quite privileged encountering Zaun and meeting Silco.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60950572/chapters/155702197

[anotherthoughtthatwillhauntme]

Dissection of ‘Kiss the Villain’ Teaser because why not?

☆

"I think we've established that you have a magnificent ability to be grotesque."

Okay, so right off the bat, Kayden is out here throwing high-level insults like he’s delivering a Shakespearean monologue. “Magnificent ability”?? Sir, that’s an SAT vocab insult. That’s the kind of insult you drop in a courtroom and then sip your coffee while the defense spirals into self-doubt.

☆

My lips lift into a snarl, but I force them into a smile.

The level of internalized violence here. Gareth is seething, but his petty little soul refuses to let Kayden see him crack.

☆

"I didn't seem grotesque when you came all over my mouth. You enjoyed it so much you kept coming on and on. I thought you would never stop."

GOOD. GOD. THE VISCERAL DISRESPECT.

Kayden threw a classy insult, and Gareth responded with a weapon of mass destruction. This man did not come to play; he came to ruin reputations. Not just destroy them—ruin them beyond recognition.

Also, let’s talk about how obnoxiously Gareth worded this. “You kept coming on and on.” That’s not just shade; that’s permanent eclipse.

☆

"Your hole is the only useful thing about you."

Kayden said forget dialogue, forget literature, forget human decency. He threw Gareth into the trash and slammed the lid shut.

Also, the casual delivery of this line?? As if he’s stating a mundane fact?? Kayden is out here grading Gareth’s entire existence like:

Snarky attitude. ✅

Daddy’s money. ✅

A hole. ✅

Literally nothing else.❌

☆

I think I see a change of expression, but it's so fleeting. I can't read it as it continues.

Translation: “I just got spiritually humbled, and I need a second to reboot.”

☆

"But enough about that."

OH, OH, SO HE JUST MOVES ON??? This man wrecks Gareth’s entire being and then acts like it’s a minor inconvenience?? Kayden really said, “Yeah, you’re useless, but anyway, back to business.” The emotional terrorism. The calm audacity.

☆

". And here I was dying to keep broaching the subject."

THE SASS. THE ABSOLUTE SASS.

Gareth, you are holding onto your last thread of dignity by a fingernail, but I respect the effort.

☆

"Watch the way you speak to me. I'm your professor and will not tolerate any disrespect."

Sir. SIR. WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY THREE SECONDS AGO WHEN YOU WERE REDUCING THIS MAN TO NOTHING BUT A HOLE??

Also, imagine Kayden saying this in his best professional tone, meanwhile, we all know this conversation left professionalism in the dirt ten miles ago.

☆

The firm edge in his voice gets my skin ablaze. It's uncomfortable, this feeling that's making me grip the notebook tighter.

OH??? SO YOU’RE TURNED ON???

Not Gareth trying to convince himself that this feeling is “uncomfortable” when his body is literally betraying him in 4K. King, we see you.

☆

"I have no respect for you whatsoever, professor."

Gareth said, “Respect? Never heard of her.”

And honestly, good for him. He may be losing this battle, but he will not go quietly.

☆

"I'll tell you this once, so listen carefully, Carson." He stands taller, forcing me to crane my head back to look up at him.

Okay, first of all, THE FUCKING HEIGHT DIFFERENCE! I WANNA SEE IT IRL!!! HOT!!!

Second of all, Gareth, baby, you are about to die.

☆

"I have zero tolerance for spoiled, rich little brats like you who believe they can rule the world through their daddy's trust funds. If you don't drop the attitude and watch your mouth, I will fuck it into submission. Are we clear?"

Kayden just: Took Gareth’s entire personality, folded it neatly, and set it on fire.

Also, imagine being Gareth in this moment. You thought you were going to sass your way out of this. But NO. NO, SIR. You got a one-way ticket to the shadow realm.

And the way Kayden drops “fuck it into submission” so casually???? Like, my guy, you are at work.

☆

Final Score:

Kayden: 1000000/10. Unshakable. Unbothered. Demon-level dominance.

Gareth: A very pretty corpse.

[snexy-the-snail]

Make another Hermes fic and my soul belongs to you. My Boi is such a playful yet gentle pred I luv him ✨️✨️✨️

Ask and you shall receive <3 and saaaame Just the right amount of playfulness and making sure that hes not overwhelming the kiddos-))

Percy rolls his shoulders as he steps out of his school, feeling utterly exhausted. Trying to decipher words when spinning off the pages would give anyone a headache. He groans and runs his face, trying to coax away the pressure of a forming headache. He draws a breath in, relishing the freshness of the surrounding air.

That was something he found himself eternally grateful for since his little trip down below. There wasn't any burning with each breath, and the water didn't burn and curl in his gut, screaming about how wrong it was. He must have gotten caught in his thoughts, considering he rammed into someone. He winces, catching himself before shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." He mumbles out an apology.

Great, now he was going to get screamed at about how disrespectful he was. Instead, a hand ran through his hair, tousling it along the way. His eyes snap up, meeting a familiar face.

"Hermes?"

"Are you that surprised, little cousin?" the god muses, his eyes scanning over him. Maybe for injuries? That was becoming an odd habit for any of the gods who have checked up on him now. Usually, he was fine, but at times, there were little scratches or bumps.

"Well, yeah, I'm surprised; it's school hours." Percy points out, taking a step back and crossing his arms. He wasn't sure what this was about and if he liked it. Usually, their meetings happened on the shore or in his cabin. Seeing Hermes just sorta..here was odd. Yet his nerves soothed when the god reached out and took hold of his arm, tugging him closer to his body. Unlike most gods, Hermes was warm, like a summer breeze. It wasn't bad, just different than the chill his dad had. The corners of Hermes' lips arch upwards, his eyes still hidden by sunglasses. Ugh. Gods had the worst fashion sense, he swore.

"Pish posh, since when do I care about your weird mortal rituals?" He teases, his grip not once wavering on Percy's arm. It should make him feel trapped, it really should, but all it did was send little waves of warmth through him. He rolls his eyes, partly leaning into the touch, hiding a smile with a scoff, turning his head.

"Obviously not a lot, considering you just show up randomly." shrugging off the god's hand. He knew it was only because it was allowed and not because he was strong enough to shed the grip."Still, why are you here? Quest or something." He prompts, eyeing the god cuatiously.

"No, no, nothing of the sort," Hermes says, neatly falling into pace when Percy starts to walk again. It was something he had noticed; no matter what pace it was, Hermes seemed to fall into place almost naturally. Part of his domain probably.

"Mhm, sure. Aren't you busy delivering stuff anyway? Why hang out with just a demigod?" he teases. He expected a chuckle or a nudge, not for Hermes to grab onto his arm again, a frown gracing the god's face. Seeing any of the gods actually serious was like hearing your full name wrong. Upsetting. He swallows nervously, his gaze dropping to the sidewalk rather than seeing the random bits of trash and bugs than the lens of the god's sunglasses.

"You're not just a demigod."

"Gathered that."

"Don't say things like that about yourself." Hermes continues, lightly taping his head, a false smile on the god's face now. "Sure got it," Percy mumbles. The grip released from his arm again, lingering only slightly before the god stepped closer. "I mean that Peresus Jackson. You are not just a demigod; you are a child."

Great, full name and a serious conversation. Percy felt like he was 5 years old again, getting caught talking to the pet store goldfish again, only worse. He shoves his hands into his pocket, trying to keep himself from giving Hermes any more ammunition to keep being serious.

"Heard you loud and clear, I'm just gonna keep going." He says, clearing his throat, hoping that this would finally drop the conversation.

Stupid sunglasses obstructed the god's eyes, so he couldn't tell precisely what Hermes was thinking; so great. He started walking regardless, relieved when Hermes followed suit again, though stuck closer, this time practically shoulder to shoulder with him. "You don't need to walk me. I'm fine." He says that the god didn't disappear right away.

Great.

"Let's just say I'm delivering a package, hmm?" the phrase shouldn't have sounded so..comforting. When was the last time he had someone walk him home? He draws his shoulders in, shifting the weight of his backpack. It was okay; he didn't need to be walked home, and he was capable of protecting himself. It was just..sorta nice he found.

"You're really corny. I hope you know that," Percy grumbles, rolling his eyes. He had a reputation to keep up well, he wasn't sure what was left of it at this point. He sighs slightly, hiding a smile as they continue to walk toward his apartment.

The walk there was quiet, Hermes falling into step with him, their footsteps blending together at times, others the god simply just floating. It was nice doing something so mundane with a god, just a simple walk. He lets a slight hum as he knocks on the door, the bright blue improving his mood already. He had a key, but being able to see his mother's face when she opened the door was everything. Sally was older, but the way she smiled always made her seem younger, at least to Percy. He smiles, ducking into the offered hug.

"Hey, Mom," he murmurs, taking in the warm scent of candy and now books. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hermes straightening up and..sniffing the air?

"Hey yourself, sweetheart…and?" She turns her gaze to Hermes, staring at him with a critical eye before continuing. "Lord Hermes?"

"Please, Hermes is fine, my dear."

"Ugh, don't she have Paul? He's great, thank you." Percy says, rolling his eyes as he steps inside the apartment, relaxing at the warmth and safety that immediately floods his senses. Hermes follows, which he doesn't fully enjoy, but hey, it wasn't horrible…Yet.

"Relax, it's called manners, something you lack." Hermes teases, the god stepping into the apartment like he had been here thousands of times, which Percy very much didn't appreciate.

"I've been so kind too, even walked you home squirt." The teasing continued, Sally even glancing at him expectantly. Right. Being polite was something his mom valued, and unfortunately, he couldn't tell the god exactly what he wanted.

"Oh, thank you, great and powerful Lord Hermes, for walking me three blocks to my humble apartment." The sarcasm slipped out naturally, Sally not looking impressed while a smile cracked across the god's face.

A musical-sounding laugh poured from Hermes, a hand settling on his shoulder again. The weight was warm, as always, and made a sense of satisfaction curl in his gut. "Well, my darling little whirlpool, it was my pleasure. Someone must make sure you get home for a nap, hmm?"

Ah.

The truth finally came out. Judging by that glint in Hermes's eyes, he would not be getting out of this either. His mom had busied herself in the kitchen again, occasionally glancing over to them. He knew she wouldn't step in unless necessary, while she couldn't exactly fight a god (didn't stop her from whacking dad with a hot pan), she would mercilessly chew them out. He shakes his head, letting her know he'd be fine. Well, not emotionally; it was still ungodly gross.

"Ugh, fine, hey mom, I might not be in my room. I'll be fine, though." He says, giving her a small wave. He wasn't sure he had the strength to explain the whole being eaten alive thing right now. He didn't even know if his dad had already covered that with her anyway. "You're sure?" Sally responds though he could see her relaxing when he nods in confirmation.

Hermes tilts his head but follows when Percy starts to his room. This felt so..wrong, weird almost. God, stuff didn't exactly come home with him, so this..was interesting. He takes a small breath in, closing the door behind him. The god moved around his room, looking over the various items on the wall. Some skate posters and books were strewn on the bed, and everyday things were out. He watches as the other moves to his bed, sitting down on the mattress. After a moment, Percy moves to his CD player, popping in a disc. The last thing he wanted was for his mom to walk in on this whole thing happening. He kicks his shoes off, dumping his bad shortly after.

"You're serious about it, aren't you?" He grumbles, rubbing the shoulder where his bag had rested. Normal wasn't ever going to be possible, though he already knew that. Hermes stretches out on his bed, before patting beside him.

Percy sat without complaint, letting a breath out as Hermes ran a hand through his hair. "Very. I haven't exactly been keeping track of who's on nap duty now that you're not at camp." the god points out, the dizzy sensation blanketing over his senses. He lets a breath out, squeezing his eyes shut to get rid of the feeling. The weight of the hand followed with ease, which made sense; he had a feeling Hermes had plenty of practice with this.

"You know I won't combust if I miss a few nights."

"Mm, that's not what Uncle P said. There's a reason we have rotations now." Hermes' voice rumbled now, the underlining of his divine voice much easier to hear now. It was weird how that happened. The smaller or closer you were to a god, the easier it was to listen to the divineness. He cracks an eye open as the god's hand encircles him, fingers longer than him, delicately supporting him as he is lifted up.

"Could you just give me a stuffed animal like Annabeth? No gross snack times needed." He supplies helpfully. The corners of the god's lips quirked upwards. Fond but tired.

"I doubt you'd even take the time to lay down for it to work."

Touche.

To be fair, Percy wasn't sure he would willingly take naps. If he wasn't tried, he wasn't going to lie down. "I don't actually need naps, it's just nighttime sleeping." he defends, pulling his legs more onto Hermes' palm as he's lifted up towards his mouth.

"Hmm, I don't think naps would be too harmful." the god murmurs, the warmth from his open mouth rolling over him like a summer breeze.

"Yeah, not getting into the self-care talk; Aphrodite has very much already given me the chew-out about that," Percy grumbles, cringing when the god's tone snakes out over his teeth. His feet sink into the plush muscle as the hand he's resting on tilts. The progression of sliding in was almost natural now, a curling of excitement settling in his chest. He wasn't sure when that started, but he hated it. A chuckle resounds around him, the vibrations running through him like being on a ship plowing through waves.

"Sure laugh it up. It's like a 5-hour conversation that comes with face masks and like meditation that actually works, but I'm not telling her that." He huffs, the support from the hand weenign as he slides between the teeth of the god. His scenery changes from his ceiling to the roof of the god's mouth.

The subtle glow keeps it from being pitch black as a soft clack seals him inside. It was insane how he had gotten so used to this. Any mortal would be freaking out. Then again, he had to the first few times. Still, the whole behind-the-scenes thing freaked him out. Gods didn't have to look human or even have stomach-like organs; they could be put in the box, literally. Once, he had even just fallen through Apollo when the god forgot he had him that day. It had…been experience falling through the god and just staring up at a just as surprised and apologetic face.

Still.. he let the moment play out, mindlessly letting the god's tongue push him around, the salvia soaking into his clothes. This part was always the grossest; they wanted to be covered in saliva, and half the time, he couldn't get his powers to work with it, so the slick, goopy feeling clung to his skin like wet newspaper did to literally anything underwater.

It wasn't long before the familiar dip in his stomach forward as he was tilted backward. As always, Hermes didn't swallow right away, which was expected, but part of him wanted to see how far he could push it. He didn't answer, didn't give his usual cue, just sorta laid there. Gravity really should have all right pushed him down into the pulsing throat, but nothing happened.

Realistically, with all the saliva gooped up around him, he should have slipped down, or the god should have swallowed already, but any excess saliva just sort of disappeared. It felt almost like he was headed to the tongue as well, like he had been a wet paper towel thrown on the wall. Huh. Weird.

It was still nice to know that he held a tiny bit of power, even if it was because Hermes was allowing it. The gesture was nice. "I'm fine; send me down." He says. It didn't happen instantly, even after that; the first swallow only drew him up to his chest, pinning his arms to his sides. The muscles were tight but never too constricting. There was still time to 'back out,' but after a moment, another 'glk' rolled over him, slipping down deep into the god's core. The heart never sounded like it should, either non-existent or- like right now- beating rapidly like a hummingbird. He rolled his eyes, letting the muscles tug him down further until a tight pressure rolled over his feet, and with a wet squelch, he finally landed in the organ. Automatically, it tensed around him, holding him in place. It was like being wrapped up in a ghost net but oddly comfortable.

"All snug, my dear little cousin?" Hermes' divine voice always gave his tone a sing-son-like effect, not as much as Apollo's but like- in a way, it made him sound light and air.

"How can I not be? I'm like an army blanket wrapped in here." Percy shoots back with a slight grin. A stomach wall presses against him. No doubt the god is just checking in on him from the outside.

"It's to keep you from moving around when I'm doing my job." Hermes hums, the space loosening up. "Woah, hey- Just because it's soft, but that doesn't mean I want to bounce around like a ping-pong ball." He yelps, bracing himself. Instead of rapid movement, he got laughter that lightly jostled him around, sliding around in the pit of the organ.

"You're a jerk you know that?" He grumbles, crossing his arms. The muscle tensed around him again, holding him in place firmly.

"I'm still your favorite."

"How do you know? Maybe it's Apollo."

A snort sounds around him, and he god moves from his sitting position, judging by the odd folding movement inside. "With how many times he's dropped you? Doubt it." He could barely feel the god's hand pressing against him, cupping around him.

"Yeah. I guess I should be thankful you don't do that, right? Plummeting to my death sounds like a lame way to die." He muses, none to be surprised when an unhappy whine drawls from the god. Most immortals (who liked him) normally got weird about his death even though it was most assuredly coming. Probably sooner than anyone wanted to admit.

He moved on quickly, not exactly wanting to have another scolding talk about death. "Don't you have a job to do?" He says, digging his elbow into the muscle, not surprised to hear a heavy sigh sounding out above him.

"I suppose I do. You take that nap."

"Course."

[beef-brisket]

Adam smirked and folded his arms, looked down at the note. Sure, there were no prints. Something most detectives would call a deadend, but Adam felt otherwise.

Adam: Stupid bastard thinks he's playing me. Toying with me by leaving this for me- in the evidence box we made- he did it in this office. I. This building. And, he's just confirmed my suspicions.

Lucifer... wasn't expecting this reaction, but them again he should be used to that with Adam. Expect the unexpected.

Lucifer: Oh? What suspicion?

Adam: He's a cop. Or works in the offices, reception- security. Something. But, either way, he works here. At the fbi office. He has access to police files and computer documents. Everything he needs to hunt down his victims, he has access to. And him messing with my box just proves that he knows I'm onto him. He pulled a stun today at a new crime scene. He wrote my name in a heart. He thinks he's got the best of me. But he doesn't. Not by a long shot.

Lucifer was very impressed. But then again, he wasn't really hiding that fact, especially not after today.

Lucifer: Hm, well now. That's quite a piece of evidence you've found, Adam. I'm impressed.

Adam beamed: Thank you, sir.

Lucifer: ...Though, I am curious. You're the only detective to really... give this case some extra thought. The only detective to... bother, for lack of a better word. Why-? If you don't mind me asking.

Adam was silent for a moment, staring down at the note.

Adam: ...When I was fifteen, my parents were killed. Someone broke in- my mom told me to hide. I... I could hear... what he was doing to them. Their screams. The sounds of... whatever he was doing to their bodies. I can still hear it, sometimes. When I sleep, I often wake up in that hallway cupboard. Reliving everything.

Lucifer: ...Your... parents...?

Adam released a breath: I-I found them- their chests cut open, their hearts-... you get the picture... at first, the cops thought it was me. I had crime books and nearly every piece of literature on the law and serial killers. They thought I was a copycat. But when I got evaluated... the therapist said I was extremely traumatised. Only when they compared the crime scenes, they let me go...

Adam rubbed his face. He fucking hated remembering his past: I-I'm determined to bring the Devil down. Just because he's killing criminals, doesn't make him better than them. It puts him on the same level. He's a criminal. A murderer. A serial killer- a sick freak. He needs to be taken down. Brought to justice. What he's doing is taking the law into his own hands, and not in a product way...

Lucifer felt his eye twitch, to hear Adam say these things was... unfortunate. Staring at his subordinate, Lucifer made a mental note to try and figure out who his parents were.

He doesn't often kill couples, not at the same time. But he has done it a few times when the situation arises.

Lucifer: Well... I'm sorry to hear about your past, Adam. I'm losing someone like that... is horrible. And for you to witness it is even worse.

Adam smiled softly: Thank you, sir... everyone always asks why I became a cop. Why I'm obsessed with these cases... now you know.

-

At the end of the day, Lucifer watched Adam leave. He was the second to last one, as usual.

And as soon as that door clicked closed, Lucifer walked into his office, locked the door and turned on his computer.

Scribbling on a piece of paper, Lucifer smirked: "Kadmon". Let's hunt your parents down, a second time~.

They would have deserved it, Lucifer was sure of that. But, for Adam to say the Devil was as bad as the criminals he kills was a let down. He was hoping Adam would feel the same.

But no matter. Their forms of punishment and delivering justice were different.

Lucifer: Maybe, after I find your parents, I'll come visit you~. I'm feeling... tense again~.

Serial Killer x FBI Agent

Bonus points: Lucifer is the senior agent training Adam and is also the killer he's training Adam to find.

Stalking

Possessive behavior

He would (and will) kill for Adam

How did you know I love problematic!Lucifer?

Poor Adam just wants to do his job, and now he has a serial killer after him.

[turtleations]

Pink Couldy Sky, Chapter 04 – Howl (Summarized) - Part 2

Chapter 00 - 01

Chapter 02

Chapter 03

Chapter 04 Part 1

At that time, practice was always at the “Pentastudio” in Yokohama. They always went there in bassist Jimmy’s worn out white Fair Lady Z 2-by-2 T-bar roof, much like the model REM’s university friend was also driving. Except Jimmy’s model was lowered and had wings and was extremely flashy. Also, the classmate’s car was new and shiny and Jimmy’s car was old and on the verge of scrapping.

Those who know something about cars would know this, but the car was originally meant to be a two-seat sports car. Jimmy’s car, being a 2-by-2, had four seats, but the backseats were originally meant for children, presumably. They were hellishly narrow.

This car was filled with four grown guys and the trunk with their equipment. [Note: Since the band had five members, I can only assume that either REM meant “four guys in addition to the driver” or that they tied one person to the roof.] The people on the back seat always had to sit slouched over. Hide, who was weak to moving vehicles, always went onto the backseat first for some reason, only to groan that he wasn’t feeling well the moment they took off. One time they were on the way back from a live in Tokyo, when hide suddenly opened the window with a pale face and puked onto the express way. Another time they went to have a barbeque on Sarushima, an island in the bay of Yokosuka. The ferry ride only took seven minutes, yet hide turned white as a sheet and complained about feeling ill.

That same hide absolutely loved Jimmy’s crappy car.

He would say something about how one day he, too, would ride up to the livehouses in a Jaguar or a Ferrari, abandoning his guitar, but for now, the Z is it! And then he would climb into the narrow backseat.

That said, it was a pretty awesome car for a musician with no family. They called it the “White Demon”.

At some point, they figured that the maximum speed of the Z was 120 km/h, provided you still wanted the breaks to be effective. And that you shouldn’t drive it if you couldn’t estimate how long it would take you to stop if you didn’t want to tailgate the car in front of you. One time, Jimmy drove all the way back from Chiba using only the engine break, because the break-pedal was broken.

Jimmy, who calmly drove that “Demon Z”, was perhaps a genius driver who put Ayrton Senna to shame.

In that white Z, they did a lot of tours to haunted places, or to Mount Fuji in the middle of the night. Usually, those were hide’s idea. He loved planning stuff like that.

Three o’clock in the morning. Dobuita-Street. Hide: “Let’s got to the Fuji!” or “Don’t you want to go to the sea?” or, “I learned about a haunted place we absolutely must check out!”

So of course their rowdy bunch, including REM, piled into their “Demon Z” near daybreak, and went to the foot of Mount Fuji, the sea at Shônan, or haunted locations in Kamakura or Kannonzaki. By the time they arrived, the sun would come up, but they were all cheerful as if infected by hide’s energy and fooling around.

One day, they were on a haunted tour with a group of about 15 people. As usual, hide was the one who suggested going to a popular “Monster Mansion” in Kamakura. Between SAVER TIGER, another band, and some female fans, there was an entire army on the move. It was a cold winter’s night with heavy snowfall, and they did not care one bit as they got into several cars and drove from Yokosuka to Kamakura.

When they arrived, they found the ruin of an old house inside a Shinto shrine. The tin roof was rusted, the walls full of holes. It was the kind of place that made you feel like you should leave. As they timidly moved closer, someone in the group suddenly screamed, “Something came out!” and they all ran away, screaming “WAAAH!”

REM got taken by surprise, lost his orientation, slipped and fell. Seeing his miserable appearance, covered in snow and mud, everyone freaked out and one person even fainted, apparently. REM spend the drive home in a mood of “I should quit this band already.”

Eventually, car-loving hide got them their own equipment van. Up to that point, they used the wagon car of the student council of REM’s university to get all their stuff to the livehouses when they did a show. They could rent it for 3000 Yen every time, which was fortunate. Less fortunate was that the vehicle had the words “Kanagawa Dental College Student Council” written on the side. SAVER TIGER used to cover the words with camouflage tape and wrote their band name over it.

The pattern of events was the same every time: After the live, they returned to Yokosuka for the afterparty, which lasted until six or seven in the morning. REM and hide would then return the van to the campus, and REM would bring hide home on his bike.

Their bodies were exhausted, the heads heavy with fatigue and alcohol, their hair fluttering in the wind. But REM still vividly remembers him and hide riding the bike together along the coastal road, the sea glittering in the morning sun: The light of hope that knew nothing of shame.

As the number of lives increased and this method became increasingly impractical, the topic of getting their own van came up. But everyone in the band was poor, so there was absolutely no money for that kind of thing. In the end, their brainstorming on this problem resulted in hide getting a Hiace Long with money he gradually paid back to his parents.

The day their shiny new vehicle arrived, REM and hide got emotional and spend the entire day driving around pointlessly. That night, hide said, as usual: “Let’s go to Disneyland!” So the two of them drove to Uruyasu. However, Disneyland is a harsh place for two musicians who love alcohol and didn’t bring any. They hung out with their “My Fair Hiace” on the gigantic parking lot under the light of the mercury lamps, then drove back to Yokosuka and – as goes without saying – got determinately drunk on Dobuita Street.

Before they got the van, hide and Jimmy once got into a fight on the way back from a live in Tokyo. For some reason, hide really wanted to drive the Z that day. Jimmy, being Jimmy, wanted to drive it himself. Neither wanted to give in. In the end, Jimmy was the one who did the driving, since it was his car.

That day, they had a live at the livehouse “Rokumeikan” in Meguro, and since they had no money, they endlessly tracked along the country road instead of taking the expressway. The entire way until Kawasaki, hide and Jimmy sulked and didn’t even look at each other. Then, near Oppama, where they planned to stop for a drink, hide said, “Sorry, Jimmy, it wasn’t a big deal,” and just like that, they were friends again.

Going from sour faces to everything being alright from one moment to the next was typical for hide.

The next car-related story happened after SAVER TIGER’s rhythm section changed and Kyo joined them as their new vocalist. At that point, hide and drummer Kosuke were the only ones with a driver’s license, so it was always them who had to drive the band to lives or to rehearsals. In order to help them out, REM and new bassist Tokihiko decided to get their driver’s license as well.

The place they chose for this endeavor was a training camp in a town called Kobuchisawa at the foot of the Yatsugatake mountains in Yamanashi prefecture. [Note: The town was merged into the city of Hokuto in 2006.] They had the plan to practice guitar and bass and create music at night after the driving lessons, hugging their instruments on the train ride to the camp. They should be able to combine lessons and practice in one go, and moreover, it would be a change of air and a separation from their usual, unhealthy lifestyle. However, their plans were shattered soon after they arrived.

Because their friends arrived shortly after. Led by hide, a group of people otherwise consisting of Kyo, REM’s former LAFERIA-bandmate Shiomi, as well as hide’s childhood friend Yoko, leader of the band UNITED [Note: Yokoyama Akihiro, bassist, 10 September 1964 – 13 May 2014] came to visit them in their isolation. In the end, they were hardly ever at the camp at night.

Hide and the others stayed for quite a while. They slept in the car while REM and Tokihiko had their lessons and enthusiastically dragged them across the area at night. They got chased by spirits on the local cemetery, went down haunted roads facing certain death… And then went to the picturesque town of Kiyosato for the next trip. Off to Shinshû! From all they had heard about it, Kiyosato seemed like paradise to them, and they were excited about going. Kiyosato was famous, but none of them had ever been there and so they were not prepared for how much of a fairy-tale village it really was, completely unsuited for the likes of them.

Having explored the mountains far from human habitation for a while, they were eager to get to a place full of people. What they found, though, was a pastel-colored nightmare of a cityscape, were girls were floating around with fluttering lace in their hair…

The guys all had long hair, were dressed in black leather pants and boots. Just a bunch of rockers from Yokosuka walking down the candy-sweet, picturesque main street, floating around sadly. Feeling uncomfortable and dazed, they even forgot to call out to the girls, who seemed like they didn’t even come from the same planet as them.

Then, suddenly, they couldn’t believe their ears:

In this unlikeliest of places, they heard a familiar rock-beat: Their own song DEAD ANGLE, blasting from the radio of a random car. So they went and enthusiastically shook hands with the owner of the car. Kiyosato is a magical place, after all. Not long after, their training was over and they triumphantly returned to Yokosuka with hide and the others who had stayed in their “Car Hotel” until the end.

In any case, hide’s power to create events was different from that of an average guy. And his love for mischief received a power-up when he was drunk. That wasn’t always a good thing. His usual energy and drive towards random trips got raised by several levels.

An example: One night, they were once again drinking with several people at REM’s place, when he carelessly showed hide the Calpis in his refrigerator. It was the classic, undiluted stuff that had to be diluted and refrigerated. By the time they all noticed that hide was suspiciously quiet, it was too late: hide had mobilized every glass in the room and used up the entire bottle of Calpis, which they had been drinking cluelessly until everyone got heartburn.

Not long after that night, hide, who was worried about REM’s health because he put all of his allowance into alcohol, stuffed a bento-box full of his mother’s homemade food and brought it along when he visited. As usual, they spend the night drinking, and then slept in a pile. When REM got ready to rush out in the morning to get to his first university lecture of the day, hide, who had gotten up first and had been rustling about in the kitchen for a while, handed him a small package. It was a bento hide had made for REM from the leftovers of the food he brought before. He had gotten up early in the morning with a hangover just to make a bento for REM to take to class.

What to say… hide was a person who never forgot to be kind, and caring, and considerate. REM still has that bento box. It’s a small, scratched, and worn thing that has the characters 松本秀人 [Matsumoto Hideto] written on it in childish letters, so it probably dated back to hide’s elementary-school days. But to REM, it is an important treasure, stuffed tightly with the memory of what hide has really been like.

A little story about Dobuita-Street: There used to be a store called “Ichifuku” near the entrance to the shopping district, where REM and hide always went to eat (and drink). It was a rustic, cheap restaurant run by a lady of about 80 years. (REM sends his apologies in case she was, in fact, younger than that.) One day REM and hide were there once again, snacking on granny’s food while REM got drunk. (The darker the Japanese Sochû, the faster he got drunk, it seems.) For them, who had no money and were always hungry, this store was a paradise comparable to Disneyland or Hawaii.

Some of it remains even today, but back then Dobuita-Street was a wild and dangerous place where violent incidents were common. All it all, it was rather representative of a base-city like Yokosuka.

On that night, when the two of them were at Ichifuku once again, washing down their food with alcohol, they heard some commotion happening right outside, thought “Eh, another fight,” and continued drinking without thinking anything of it. About an hour later they went home, and on their way out they saw two figures stretched out on the ground in front of the building. They judged them for drinking themselves unconscious right there on the street and moved on. The next day, they were shocked to learn from the news that two people had been killed in a violent fight on Dobuita the night before…

Another time, REM went home early because he wasn’t feeling well. After he was gone, hide and the others went to a place called “Yoshino-ya” to get some Gyudon to eat. A guy by the store who looked like a hooligan sneered when he saw them and spat “Beggars!” in their direction. The next moment, hide threw his gyudon into his face, like the sensible person that he was. Another moment later, about ten of the guy’s friends came rushing over to hide and beat the shit out of him. The next morning, hide couldn’t remember the incident and was genuinely surprised at the state of his swollen and scarred face.

When he was drunk, the destructive impulses hidden deep in hide’s heart woke up more and more. REM thinks that everyone probably has such a part that they cannot control in certain moments.

Sometimes, when they drank until morning, they would sit on the rotary in front of Yokosuka Station and watch the people with normal jobs rush to work. Sitting on the cold concrete, they somehow enjoyed the sensation of going against the flow and being isolated and ill-fitting in the crowd.

Of course, they also drank in livehouses like PUMPKIN and ROCK CITY and other places that no longer exist. And when they drank, they drank all night. Getting thoroughly wasted has always been SAVER TIGER’s style, then as it is now.

After hide joined X and left Yokosuka, REM often went drinking on his own in a place called “99” near the city center, which later had a connection to the revived SAVER TIGER, and at POPPEYE’S on Dobuita Street.

POPPEYE’S was a bar with a strong American touch that belonged to a former nuclear engineer called Tak, who had a wild and dramatic personal history. The patrons were mostly American soldiers, sometimes accompanied by their Japanese girlfriends, and its interior décor was amazingly ugly and tasteless.

Sady, REM never got to take hide there. It was his favorite bar and he always promised hide to go there with him one day, but with hide’s busy schedule, the opportunity never came up.

It is something REM regrets even now.

Chapter 05

[odo-apologist]

Alright I know that the whole "Alexander the Great's chief eunuch" bit is already a lot to unpack and (rightfully!) has garnered a lot of attention but I think we do too quickly gloss over that Rimmer found this out by "getting friendly" with a hypnotherapist he's on a first name basis with?? Like am I crazy or is that crazy too

[ingravinoveritas]

There is a certain magic that comes from two people acting together--in a TV show or even just in a comedy sketch. Something that goes beyond the writing, beyond stage directions to something that can't be engineered or produced, because when they're together, it just exists. That's what we had with David and Michael at the BAFTAs last year, and what it felt like was missing tonight. Seeing David in gorgeous outfits on the red carpet and belting his heart out on stage was wonderful, but I think the event overall fell a bit short and didn't have the magic that we got from Michael and David just being themselves...

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

october 1, 2021 4:15 p.m. grant's house

[juhani] hello? grant, can i call you tomorrow? it’s late.

[grant] no, you can’t. i know it’s 11 o’clock where you are right now, and i don’t really care. you answered, so you’ve trapped yourself.

[varpu, faintly] juha, if you don’t talk now, he will never call you back.

[juhani] i want to speak with you, of course i do, it’s just–

[grant] fantastic, because that’s what we’re doing. we’re talking! i have 30 years of stuff to get off my chest, and i'm sure you have your own piece to share. not sure where to start, but.

[juhani] may i ask you a question? what did you overhear at dinner the other night? are you upset i'm moving? is that it?

[grant] i mean, that stung a little after the whole “i’ll be around to build a relationship with you,” thing, but i gave you my express permission to go home, so it’s whatever. we are both adults, so i am not going to fault you for making adult decisions that improve your life. i'm more upset by you claiming you didn’t tell me about your plans or include me in the moving and wedding stuff and whatever because i'm difficult.

[juhani] that’s not what–

[grant] oh, come on. don’t kid yourself. you said it yourself, anything involving me is like pulling teeth. i heard it loud and clear.

[juhani] well, when i tell you things, you never react well. it always goes precisely like this conversation is going.

[grant] really? never? because i remember being pretty positive about your proposal and about you contacting me in the first place and about coming to dinner to acquaint myself with varpu’s kids and about meeting varpu a while back…

[grant] what i react poorly to is you leaving me out, you calling me difficult, you complaining about me in front of impressionable people, etcetera.

[juhani] i don’t want to leave you out.

[grant] that’s what varpu said, too, but i didn’t believe her, so why would i believe you?

[juhani] i have no idea how to interact with you. i've apologized to you, told you i regret the events of your childhood. nothing works.

[grant] do you regret it? because it kind of just feels like you’re doing the same shit again. abandoning me for your own self-interests. oh, and this time you’re replacing me with a brand new family you treat better.

[juhani] i'm not repl–okay, what would you prefer me do when you push me away? you told me i was difficult.

[grant] when did i say that? i mean, that's true, sure, but i would not say that to you. what i probably said that you’re misconstruing is that talking to you is hard because i'm not comfortable around you.

[juhani] and how long will it take you to be comfortable around me? i don’t know what else you want me to do. truly, i don’t, and it is not pleasant to be rejected endlessly.

[grant] well, i'd have to forgive you, but i don’t. if forgiveness was meant to happen, it would not be instant. you’d have to keep trying with me, even if i piss you off, even if i push you away. you’re my fucking father, it’s your job. you show up for your kid even if they’re horrible or annoying. you never turn your back on them. but, you know, you didn’t show up for the first 22 years you were around, so you’d have to try extra hard now to change my mind.

[grant] but honestly, i will never be comfortable around you. i've realized that over the last few days. i did actually think if you just kept trying, i'd relax and be less on edge, but nope. you could become an honest-to-god saint tomorrow, and i'll still be furious because nothing will make me understand why you couldn’t have been a decent person when i was a kid. like, when i needed you.

[grant] and i don’t get why you weren't. i don't. i'm serious. i can’t comprehend it. clearly, you have it in you to be a decent person. you love varpu's kids. you're fatherly towards them. you take them on vacation, you invite them to house and wedding venue tours, you tell them about and include them in your hobbies, you remember details about them, you smile at them without being forced, you go to their weddings and don’t flip out about them being queer even though you were viscerally disgusted with me when you found out–

[juhani] you shouldn’t bring them into this. it isn’t fair. and i've taken you on vacation before, for one.

[grant] i am being petty, but i think it's fair because i'm not shitting on them specifically. and yeah, okay, you took me on vacation once. you took me to finland exactly once, but i never met your family, and i remember nothing other than the plane rides.

[grant] and you shouldn’t do this. we don’t need to split hairs. you don’t need to crawl through that list of grievances and “well, actually” me as many times as you can manage. one vacation changes nothing. that does not erase all the times you sat there like a lame duck and ignored me or mocked me or let my mother abuse me. there is nothing for you to pat yourself on the back about.

[grant] nothing.

[juhani] so, what are you upset about now?

[grant] why?

[juhani] why what?

[grant] why are you like this? why were you a terrible father? why have no heart for me or my sisters? why did you save all your love for someone else’s kids?

[grant] oh, and how about cerise? you sure didn’t care about your bastard kids either, did you?

[grant] shit. i'm sorry. that just kind of came out. that’s not how i wanted to, you know, pepper that into this conversation. i was going to save that for the end.

[juhani] how do you know about her?

[grant] doesn't matter. it's a long story.

[grant] on that note, what is up with the secret daughter? how’d that happen? is she the only one, too, or should i be on the lookout for any other siblings? and hey, you only divorced my mother in the last few years, so you were cheating. how many times did you fuck around on her, and why would you? you wouldn’t divorce her because you were afraid of her, but apparently it's no big deal to cheat.

[juhani] grant, how can i answer you if you don't allow me to talk? cerise’s mother michelle is a doctor. your mother and i were both at a conference in detroit about healthcare outreach, and…

[juhani] i know it seems contradictory, given how long i stayed with your mother, but i was unhappy in the marriage. i met michelle there at the conference, and she was kind and intelligent, and i suppose the rest of the story should be obvious to you.

[grant] goddamn, man. i hate my mother, but that’s bold: sleeping with another woman right in front of her face.

[grant] did she ever find out?

[juhani] eventually. you remember how she was with the finances. she tracked all the money going in and out of the household. you couldn’t have one cent go missing without being accused of something, and she’d always blame it on some incident with her brother and start ranting about him.

[juhani] look, the agreement with michelle was that i'd stay out of her life and send child support, and she wouldn’t interfere with my family either. i used to lie and tell your mother the child support funds were going somewhere important, but she didn't believe me very long. she did finally question me and find out the truth.

[grant] and?

[juhani] in hindsight, her reaction reminds me a lot of the one she had when you lashed out at her during your graduation dinner. very little left her speechless, but that did. initially, i should clarify. she would go on to never let me live cerise’s existence down.

[juhani] and to answer your question, as far as i know, cerise is the only other child.

[grant] as far as you know?

[juhani] i cannot rule out further surprises.

[grant] jesus christ. my grandmother is right, all men are dogs, but you most of all.

[juhani] does it upset you that much?

[grant] again, i don’t like my mother, but if i needed any more proof that you’re more spineless than a sea sponge, this is it. you were so unhappy with my mother that you’d cheat on her, but you’d not divorce her when your kids were vulnerable.

[grant] you disgust me. you slept around and thought with your dick before you spared a single thought for the kids you let my mother abuse. or for yourself! fuck you. if you’re going to be that selfish, at least be selfish enough to prioritize yourself and leave the woman making you that miserable!

[grant] and now i don’t believe you when you say you wouldn’t leave her back then because you were scared of her. do you seriously mean to tell me it’s less terrifying to cheat on her than to just walk out of the house and never come back?

[grant] i did that, you know? when i'd had enough of my mother, i told her as much and then never spoke to her again. and guess what? wouldn’t you be so stunned to find out she’s never tracked me down, never tried to call or email to reel me back in? she left me alone after i told her to go fuck herself!

[grant] and technically, you know it's possible to leave her, too. what did you say about the divorce? that she just rolled over and let you do it and was fine with you just coughing up all the assets and dipping?

[grant] exhibits A, B, and C that she’s a coward, too. she thinks she’s the boss, but if you fight back hard enough, she gives up. you could have left her at any point in time.

[grant] god. oh my god. you stupid, spineless motherfucker. i thought i'd maxed out on anger. apparently not!

[grant] you really could have been a better father. you could have had your whole little life overhaul decades ago, and you could have saved the entire family so much pain. you, me, elizabeth, kelly…

[grant] i should have suspected as much, and i guess i did, but it's shocking to realize over and over just how useless you are as a father. i think it can't get any worse and then it does. you are a complete and utter failure as a parent.

[grant] this is why i can’t forgive you. you didn’t have to mess up so badly. but no. whatever you got out of the relationship was enough to convince you to sit there and watch my mother ruin all of us, and even thought you weren't happy with her, you got by with fucking other women and only regretted staying a billion years later when you noticed you had nothing of substance left in life but my mother. and that’s a pretty depressing way to live, isn’t it?

[juhani] i stayed because i thought we deserved each other.

[grant] with that attitude, maybe you did.

[grant] listen, i'll admit this, no problem. it’s no one’s fault that she is the way that she is. it’s not even yours. she’s abusive, and what she does to other people is her fault and her responsibility. she’s excellent, too, at convincing you to just go along with it and never question her. it's not that hard to get caught in her trap at first, and she will try her very best to break you. but at some point, you have to question anyway. at some point, you have to recognize you deserve better and do something about it.

[grant] but you didn’t. not until it was too late for it to mean anything.

[grant] i would never think i've done everything right, but in the end, i've respected myself enough to make better choices and do something about the situation i was in, and i've had to do that because the adults in my life weren’t responsible or organized enough to fix things before responsibility fell into my hands.

[juhani] you are a braver and a better man than i.

[grant] i'm glad i am, but do you know how exhausting it is to be brave all the time?

[grant] i am because you weren’t. it is entirely because you failed. you weren’t brave enough to give a fuck about yourself or your kids, so i've had to be brave my entire life. brave enough to survive my childhood, then brave enough to leave. and guess what? i don’t want to be brave. i just want to exist. and back then, i just wanted to be a kid.

[grant] just a kid.

[grant] i wanted to come home from school and play with my pokemon cards and hear my mom and my dad say, “hi honey! how was your day? we love you!" i didn’t want to live in fear of what horror would befall me each and every day.

[grant] fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. you stole my childhood. you stole elizabeth’s childhood. you stole kelly’s childhood.

[grant] you and my mother, but you could have done something. you could have given us our childhoods back. you could have done something! you should have done something!

[grant] you didn’t have to do everything right even. parents mess up, i know that, but you could have at least tried. the bar was on the floor. i would have over the moon living in a single parent household with a father who at least showed up to my hockey games if he wasn’t busy at work and gave me a hug every once in a while.

[grant] and you know what, you did more than steal our childhoods. because you couldn’t stand to sacrifice your comfort long enough to take care of your kids, we all have to live in permanent hell. i have to spend the rest of my life freaking out when someone walks up behind me or speaks too loudly or–god forbid–touches me! it took me years to finally learn not to flinch when someone high fives me! and kelly–i don’t know what she deals with, but i know her life can’t be peaceful.

[grant] again, i am not blaming you for what my mother did–i know she was not kind to you either– but i do blame you for not even trying to stop her or get away from her. you were an adult with power, and you didn't use an ounce of it. actually, you did use it, just not for good. you threw me specifically under the bus because it was easier to let my mother use me as a punching bag than you.

[juhani] you’re right.

[juhani] you’re right, grant.

[grant] i have nothing else to say, short of "fuck you" again. i think i'm done yelling at you.

[grant] no, wait, one last thing. what did you even see in my mother in the first place? what was so enticing about her that you’d stay with her so long and ditch your college sweetheart for her?

[juhani] i don’t know. i don’t know anymore.

[grant] i guess it was two people drawn to each other's misery.

[grant] great. well, that’s all, folks.

[grant] good luck with the new family. maybe you can make it right with someone else and enjoy a totally fresh start because you will never make it right with me, and i will never let you forget what you did to me and my sisters. and don’t lose varpu again, by the way. she is, like, far out of your league–so far it's not even funny–and you are lucky to have this second chance with her and to have a good relationship with her kids.

[grant] also, just so it's clear, i don't want to speak to you anymore after this. don't call me, i won't call you either, except in one circumstance. i'll consider it on the day my mother kicks the bucket. we can toast to the end of that chapter of our lives and hope that the haunting ends. because surely you have to feel a little haunted, too, right? i have a sinking suspicion that’s why you reconnected with me. you don’t care about me. you care about that fresh start, about making yourself feel better about wasting your life and fucking up everyone around you.

[quatregats]

Obsessed with this description CS Forester fumbled them so so bad when we could have had whatever the hell this is

[alongtidesoflight]

so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything