#I'm not complaining ig but still
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bruh why is it so warm today
#i remember when october used to be cold#and it's almost november#wtf#I'm not complaining ig but still#at least i can recharge my batteries outside and relax a little#rambles
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Are there actually people who get discouraged from playing a game when they get spoiled too much? "does bioware understand that if they reveal too much people won't be interested in playing the game" that's crazy if so, imagine refusing to engage with a story after you already know some portions of it... being this afraid of spoilers just leads to a culture where studios don't tell their actors who they're playing and what game they're even acting for
#i get being upset with being spoiled bc it's more fun to see everything yourself as you play#but at this point people are being overdramatic#idk like am i the only one who just doesn't think that bioware's marketing is a huge deal#people out there harassing content creators to the point where they have to deactivate#and getting upset on behalf of other players like. who cares#getting spoiled isn't the end of the world. getting upset for a bit is valid but still. it's not the end of the world.#the game isn't out yet and I'm already tired of people complaining about everything 😵💫#idk just needed to vent real quick ig#vik.txt
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still not 30
#i've been feeling like i'm in my early 30s for the past 4 years or so. what does it mean to feel like you're in your early 30s? i don't know#cashier who i'm sure is younger than me asked for my id when i was buying an energy drink this morning. very humbling. especially today#if anyone gets the impulse to wish happy bday please don't i genuinely don't like that this was just a nice excuse to complain#about not feeling my age and having to continue to do so for a couple more years. but hey still kicking. there's that at least#“complain” maybe isn't necessarily the right word either but it is a weird feeling. a very particular type of 30+ y/o too ig because like#looking at the people i know. who i went to school with. that's an entirely different type of an adult and not one i will or can ever be#could whine about feeling like i was left behind but it's not like i want all that. not that staying behind was a choice either though#things just played out this way. it is what it is
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I need an older person to tell me that it's fine if I'm soon to finish my major and still don't know what to do with my life.
#Realistically I know I can't complain about uncertainty#Similarly I know I'm actually in a great position#as I'm backed up by a very understanding family and so on#but...#it still drives me a bit insane#“everyone seems to know what they are doing in the future and even if they don't they seem to understand their present good enough” kinda#logic#and then there's me#but ig I have to remind myself than I'm younger than most of my peers#most people invested 1 to 3 years in other majors or even other universities till they realized what they want so...#it's fine to be lost it's fine to be lost it's fine to feel list
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#tbh when i see people griping about fic comments using percentages of engagement like a fucking ig influencer#that makes me want to never read their fic#especially when they're complaining about whatever unacceptably low number of comments#that is still more than some of the fics I'm most proud of have ever gotten#like ok those commenters are just numbers to you?#got it#bye
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hi tumblr 👋
#it's been so long since i've made an actual post#how is everyone doing!! :))))#i'm kinda in the trenches but you know can't complain#ok so here's some update about me:#i've been watching a lot of movies on kanopy yall have got to get on kanopy#school has been actually insane like i just had midterms but i still have more work grrhrhrhrhrhhr#i recently saw the film conclave and i've been kinda going crazy about that (going crazy about something is the only way i stay sane)#but yeah i've been trying to stay off the internet as i'm loosing it a little. just trying to not log on every day#ok take care yall love you guys :)#jaye's originals ig
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i love you I love you I love writers that do short paragraphs in fanfic (I have eye problems and my eyes skip around so reading big paragraphs can be painful) and writers who do short chapters in books (I have no sense of time and it's nice to regularly have a built in break point, and it gives me a shot of dopamine to finish a chapter so I can trick myself into reading more) (reading is my favourite thing to do probably but my brain hates it for some reason so I have to trick it into doing it.....even though I really love doing it???)
#Reading#Books#Ao3#I still remember how exited I was when I first read pride and prejudice#I loved the book as well obviously but like half of my enjoyment came from there being short chapters#I can read faster when it's like that#Actually shorter paragraphs tend to also work better for me in books as well#Because my eyes hate me and can't focus on the right line#And I hate having to use paper or something to guide my eyes#I don't really like short chapters in fanfic tho#Long ones are fine but medium is best#Like if there's two fanfics or two books that based on what they are about I would enjoy equally as much as the other and the same word cou#I'm gonna choose the one with the smaller chapters and smaller paragraphs#Okay now I just feel like I'm complaining#I'm not trying to#I'm just feeling exited about the concept of reading and trying to express some information about it#Ig#Idk#Rant#Maybe#But in a positive way#There's a word for that I'm certain#But I can't think of it rn
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hey yeah how IS ratio putting on his alabaster head when it seems to be smaller than his actual head. is he like a barbie or smth
#i remember being confused abt it at first and ig i just. forgot#but now i'm reading a fic that points it out and i'm like yeah!!!! how does he do that!!!!!#(the fic has its own in-universe au reason. canon doesn't seem to. afaik)#i wonder if we'll ever get deeper into him in some way. i really hope so#i see ppl complain abt how we don't have like his backstory or smth but#idk if he needs one? him being so Normal (relatively speaking) is what makes him more fun#like we also do have some but the main complaint i see is 'why are they being so vague abt him' idk man he's just some guy#an exceptional some guy. but still just some guy at the end of the day really#i was gonna say that it's not like we know less abt him than other characters but. that'd be wrong i'm p sure#hm :/ ok nvm now i get the complaints. hoyo give me more ratio please please please please please please please please please please#(did i just ramble myself full circle? maybe so.)
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I wish stoves had volume buttons </3
#cooking things on the stove while my family is asleep is so anxiety inducing bcz the sound of the food sizzling is so LOUD#which ig it's the food's fault not the stove's fault but STILL#technology is advancing so far I'm sure we can invent a silent stove#PLEASE.......#kokarambles#complaining hours
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i rlly don't like how there's nothing i'm super into rn 🧍 it feels like i enjoy too many things, which i knowww is a stupid thing to complain abt but it's overwhelming. somehow. idk how to explain myself so mb i should just explode instead idk vote on ur phones now ig 🤳💥❓
#sylph.txt#uwwehhh#ghhwgeeehhhh#ig what i want is to fully show how much i like smth#to others. but bc there's so much i can't??#that's not quite it#tho i do wnna draw fanart for stuff but i cant choose just one thing#like how an artist gets rlly into a game and then draws it obsessively for like a month#i want that power.#but my attention is too spread across several things#and my motivation is so lacking#like pkmn is a constant i'm replaying ff9 rn and also pkmn scarlet and i'm playing a disgusting amount of overwatch#and i'm reading houseki no kuni and there's several games i need to finish getting achievements for#and games i wnna replay and shows i've yet to see.#and that's not even mentioning physical hobbies and crafts i wnna get into#there's too many things i like and want to like#and so i can't participate in all of them to a degree i'm satisfied with#i'm still not making sense but that's bc i'm insane#these aren't real problems but they're still gnna effect my brain#there r other actually bad things plagueing me rn but it's ok for me to complain abt this one
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I was trying to get a regular clover but instead I got a golden clover first!??!??!?!?!??
#cookie clicker#never mind maybe my garden doesn't hate me i#um wow#for reference regular clovers are a 3% chance of mutating from gildmillet and baker's wheat#golden clovers are a .07% chance#(the chance is multiplied by 3 thanks to the soil i was using but still)#and i was trying to use the same gildmillet that i just mutated to get the clover so it was only 1 plot instead of the whole field#what the hell it took me days last try to get the golden clover#well I am not complaining IG. still need that regular clover though i'm trying to get ichorpuff
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Completely almost forgot to apply for that internship I was interested in.... Applications close TODAY BTW. Like. It said "no later than May 1" and I am typing this at 12:01 am on May 1 lmao. I emailed it at like 11:59 on April 30 😭😭😭 Unfortunately the one I really wanted already closed, but the same company has dozens of internships with different departments, so I picked the easiest looking one lol. It's also the one where I would get to post on their Tumblr blog yippee!!! Fingers crossed 🤞
#how does posting on a work Tumblr blog even work lol#would they invite my account as an admin 😭#ig I would just say I don't have Tumblr and make a new account for that lol#also the internship is remote but it starts around the time I'm gonna be out of state for a week.... hm#they said the schedule is really flexible so I could mention that in my interview and see if they let me take that week off and make it up#and if they reject me then oh well#boss makes a dollar I make a dime that's why I blog on company time#<- I want this to be my workposting tag. but I will resist bc it's too long and would be a pain to type out every time I want to complain#workposting#goodnight my lovelies <3#ANYWAY the timing thing should be fine bc the external website where I found the listing said it's open until 6 am#but idk if that's just the default time or what#shrug. we shall see. at least it's technically no later than May 1 bc it's still May 1........#AND I SENT IT LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE MAY 1#whether or not the hiring manager receives it then is a different story
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I am not exaggerating when I say I live with one of the worst cishet men I've ever met in my life and its horrible
Pretty big vent incoming in tags, just a warning. Feel free to scroll past /gen
#sorry i. need to vent#he is genuinely one of the most ignorant; stubborn; and absolutely manchild of a man I've ever seen#I'm not fucking lying when I say he gets pissy and shouts and complains about EVERYTHING#and I don't mean just occasional shouting and getting loud#whenever he's upset. its /loud/. very loud#first time in my 5 years of knowing him I had enough and snapped back at him because he was yelling at me-#-bc I supposedly do absolutely nothing around the house and I take horrible care of myself and dont care about anything#at least in regards to the house#and complains about why I'm deciding not to go to college and that he got a job at 15 while he's literally#in his mid 40's#so.#like.#I told him I'm still 18 and I dont want him to boss around my entire fucking life but he brought up the excuse again of-#-him doing all the shit I SHOULD be doing by his words when he was 15#first of all. like. to get things straight; we are not related at all not even in the slightest#he's my mothers bf; I don't know why he gets so pissy at me about MY life of all things#like Jesus Christ shut up challenge impossible#yeah I had a fun (/s) moment earlier where I went to clean my dish and he started to snap at me about how I-#-walk past the dishes every day while they're piled up and I should do them. meanwhile. they're literally not mine. ever#I get it yeah but. whatever. he kept going onn and on and on and got even more upset with me literally not saying or doing anything to-#-provoke him more#Ig he just doesn't know that!! wow!! I do actually care about my life and future!!!!#and that getting a job is not that easy or the same as it was 30+ fucking years ago!! wow!! who would've guessed!!!!#Like genuinely i am literally trying to get a job rn and shit and have been stressing horribly about it for literal YEARS#but yeah ignore that I guess ok sure buddy#god sorry i.. really hate him. a lot#I dont like to hate on people really; esp if im accustomed to them. but him. he. no <3#I will say I hate him w my full chest#vent#negative post
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can't believe all my roommate's friends were so actively working against me when it came to who gets the big room with the balcony attached to it and in the end she actually got it....
#we agreed to make it fair by drawing lots for it#but i ended up suggesting to use the spinning wheel generator so that it's really up to luck#and i can't believe i shot myself in my own foot with this bc she actually got the big room#even though in the beginning of the year i asked if i could have it when the other roommate moves out#(we knew for a while that she'd move out in summer)#but then my roommate asked if we could draw lots maybe and i said yes bc i didn't wanna be an asshole 😭#but now she actually got the big room and now i kinda regret not putting my foot down and claiming it#bc on my side everyone told me i could just say that i've been in the flatshare the longest and therefore i could claim the room#but idk i wanted to be nice and look where it got me#it's not the end of the world bc my current room is still nice it's just the smallest#but i'm really complaining abt nothing ig#at least i'm saving money on rent 😅#but the big room would have been saur nice tbh....#and the fact that my windows still fave the balcony and now the roommate who constantly invites friends over has the balcony .........#you see where i'm getting at 😵💫#let's hope i'll get some good sleep the next few week before it's too cold to be on the balcony CJSJCHS#but yeah with her friends working against me i also mean that a lot of them smoke so apparently they told her that she should get the room#bc she smokes and has friends that smoke as if i am not worthy of a balcony bc i don't smoke like 🫠#idk i felt like i was the only nice on in the scenario who was willing to play fair even though i didn't have to and her friends were still#lowkey pissing on my leg behind my back yk#she was nice about it but her friends get the side eye from me abt the whole thing 😶#sorry for the rant#delete later#000
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anyway I'm still struggling, still mentally & emotionally exhausted, and still just haven't got the brainpower for writing 🙃
#it took me longer than I'm willing to admit to even put that tiny hc post into words#so uhm. yeah replies & asks are still just not on the table and I'm sorry about that#I'm so mad bc I was getting caught up & I was doing well and now......... back to this adhgjsg#I'm so fucking tired dude I'm so adjgksh#why can't I just exist & function like a normal fucking person???#sorry for all my complaining on the dash I just. have nowhere else to put it#and even though I tell myself I shouldn't feel bad for being slow... I do. I feel a constant need to apologize & it's stupid#I think part of me is afraid that if I'm not active enough everyone will lose interest#which is ridiculous but after all the self reflection I've been doing this week it makes sense#anyway adjgksh sorry. ignore me ig I needed a teeny vent#here's hoping tomorrow is better#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#negative cw#personal cw#tbd.
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I haven't known peace since I started talking to men
#being a lil hoe was such a mistake bc now men are my only hobby but i don't want this anymore#i got too hot and i need to stop#i pull way too many hoes#no but this is actually a bit of a problem for me#i just want friends but virtually every man thinks I'm hot and funny so they aren't content with friendship#suffering from success ig#ik that sounds like such a bitchy thing to complain about but i am so serious#bc i have made very nice friendships that i cherished and valued. then once they realize they don't have a chance they stop talking to me#which is very hurtful#how can i make it so men aren't into me anymore but still enjoy me enough to be friends#honestly idc if they are into me as long as we can still be friends#like realistically bae is a good friend and yet we are both deeply into each other#whatever goodnight#Sera
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