#I'm not actually sure how to do that now that I go to look tho so uhm
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Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss
This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no im not)
Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1
Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂
Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.
Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:
He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!
More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗
Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.
He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.
He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.
While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂
Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.
#skz#stray kids#kpop#tarot reading#asks#seo changbin#future spouse#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot#changbin tarot#skz imagines#reaction#skz scenarios#headcanons#stay#skz stay
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ok hear me out: Given what I've already said, I feel like I have to at least submit a defense for why I still think Satoru is redeemable lol. First, I imagine reader already knew he was arrogant before they got together. And I can see a justification for his frustration and why he would lash out, he is under a lot of pressure, people do ask him to do a lot (gojo's daily schedule that gege shared?? crazy), and I'm sure he does feel like he can't take a break w/o someone needing him for something, which is annoying!! And yes he is the strongest and is capable, but that's a mindset thing and everyone has lashed out at someone that felt safe, because you assume they are not going to leave -- it's just unfortunate for him that his consequences ended up being so dire. I just also think those are the only kind of consequences that he would learn from. He doesn't ever really think anything is his fault, and if reader and students hadn't almost died, I don't think he would have really ever change his behavior, just continued on an "apologize for the behaviour instead of work on improvement" path. So obviously the consequences needed to be serious, however their jobs are dangerous and they could technically always die on a mission, so I would also argue that its sort of not.. that serious...? (DONT COME FOR ME PLS) I'm not eloquent enough to explain what I mean by that properly, so that's just gonna have to be enough.
I think that reader would absolutely need space bc who wouldn't?? I certainly wouldn't be able o look at him without resenting him for a while. But without other longstanding relationship issues, I can see a world where I would personally come to accept it? If Satoru expressed genuine remorse (and ideally took some time to think about what his issues are stemming from instead of taking it out on reader...), accepted that space was required, and showed he was more present/attentive with the people who actually rely on him, I would miss him!!! and probably would rationalize "well, technically I could always die". Now, those are a lot of hypotheticals and assumptions that we don't know, I just wanted to provide an example of how/why I think it could still work.
I truly think that depending on a persons priorities, a lot of things can be worked through/forgiven, but of course that is person to person and not everyone is going to feel or think the same way, no matter what the outcome may not be what everyone wants and that's just how it is no one's wrong for wanting one or the other.
omg I'm so sorry for the essay, this could all be completely irrelevant anyone, since you're gonna make what you're gonna make, I just felt like I needed to express its not completely delulu to forgive any of them. I'm just a happy ending kind of person at heart I fully and openly admit I am a sympathizer tho, so there are plenty who would read this and think that's not good enough to forgive lol
some parts of this post were a part of my thought process when writing pt four (and five tbh) 🩷
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My doctor: Hey yeah that's not normal I don't think it's an issue with your hip
Me: Oh?
My doctor: It's an issue with your spine
Me: OH
#Literally the first thing he said was 'You shouldn't be in this much pain from a labrum tear'#'Yeah I'm p sure it has to do with your back'#Me: Everything makes sense now......#This actually adds up bc I've always had shitty back issues. Lmao#Luckily I don't need surgery!! Unluckily I need to get another MRI! Kill me! :)#If the last MRI didn't bankrupt me this one DEFINITELY will#Also he did say I have a weak hip so I gotta do physical therapy#We'll see how that goes;;#Right now I'm fine bc I haven't even been billed for the first MRI yet. But I know as soon as I get the bill#I will be a HOT mess#Not looking forward to that#Anyway I'm glad this doctor seems to know what he's talking about. And from the get go too#Can't believe it took this fucking long to narrow it down to 'possible spine/back issue' tho#Godddd. I'm so tired#He prescribed me some heavy anti-inflammatory drugs so hopefully that helps with the pain a bit#Lies down#I need a nap bro. Lol#Shima speaks
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jpmd update post #6! for some reason i thought we were further than 6 by now
EVEN LONGER THAN USUAL!!!!!!! also today's post is ENTIRELY about the bidoof special episode because that is all i did today!
as always, cool observations and thoughts first:
PRONOUN TRACKER:
bidoof's mama calls him お前, he calls her 母ちゃん, his little brother calls him 兄ちゃん(あんちゃん); bidoof's mama calls herself 私 and お母ちゃん
the camerupt npc called him あんた, marowak called him おめえ, the slakoth/slowpoke team called him きみ
jirachi (!) calls himself 僕 and calls bidoof きみ before properly waking up and learning his name (after that i believe he only calls him bidoof-さん)
not a pronoun but doesn't fit anywhere else; as mentioned in previous posts, bidoof uses あっし and でゲス which are both words i've never heard anywhere else, and he has a relatively unique voice/accent in english, so i was on the lookout for more unusual language, but...there wasn't too much...he did say "兆枚" which jisho tells me is a rare term, and when talking to the kecleons he also said "こんちは" and "すまない," the 2nd of which is essentially the same as すみません but i'd never heard it before (i think) so it was cool
ALSO not a pronoun but doesn't fit anywhere else - this was probably happening in past sessions but today in particular i noticed how many npcs use かい to ask questions (teddiursa, kangaskhan, corphish) which was kind of reassuring because the only other time i've EVER seen かい is in one singular song on my entire japanese playlist and i was almost doubting that it was a real thing lol
FUN AND SILLY DIALOGUE NOTES
the slakoth/slowpoke npc team has some funny dialogue early in the episode where they go "aren't you the guy who screws up all the time?" (textbox ends, new box starts) "yeah...us too"
marowak dojo is "ガラガラ dojo" - ガラガラ meaning (among many things) "rattle/clatter," "rough (personality/speech)," AND "almost empty/uninhabited/etc." which is kind of perfect - the clatter of bones, the rough personality of marowak, and the emptiness of the dojo...i understand why the localization team didn't bother with a stylized translation and just called it "marowak dojo" in english lol how could you capture all of those things the same way in english?
also, one thing i didn't know - if you visit marowak in this episode, he goes on a very long ramble about how the dojo has failed and it's kind of funny you showed up on the last day before he closes it, and then he gives you a reviver seed (!). also in that speech, he lengthens practically all of his vowels and says "ぜーーったい にーーーーーーー" and "だよーーーーーー!!!" a lot and sounds like an anime character lol
bidoof ends a LOT of his sentences with かね which gives him a really...like it makes him sound really unsure of himself lol poor guy
at the end, when he made his wish, he said he wanted "かわいい こうはいs" - i don't remember what he says in english here but i remember when he meets the protag team he gets teary eyed and refers to them as "juniors" and "rookies," and of course at the end of the special episode you watch your team chatting happily with each other while bidoof watches, teary-eyed again, from the side, and it was...very endearing...i do think this is something that might have gotten lost in translation because once i read かわいいこうはい i went "oh!" and knew exactly what he meant, it gives him more of a big brotherly feeling in relation to the protags, which is pretty cute when you remember he's the big bro of 2 siblings back home...almost like he missed being in that せんぱい sort of position :') it really recontextualized his relationship to the protags for me, very endearing
SPECIAL SECTION JUST FOR SNOVER/GLIGAR/BAGON
this group was FAAASCINATING to watch. they were NASTY. but of course, snover puts on a front at first, and i'll say i think the fact that japanese has specific and more strongly marked registers for (im)politeness made the big reveal much starker than in english
PRONOUNS: bagon said "俺たち" implying 俺 for himself, called bidoof お前, called snover きさま (!) before the reveal and お前 afterwards, pre-reveal he also called snover "そこのお前" lit. "you there" which made me giggle because that's what street fight NPCs say in yakuza games lol
PRONOUNS PART 2: bidoof called bagon/gligar "お前たち" in the reveal and called snover "きみ" before it; pre-reveal, snover used "僕" and lots of "でしょう"/"ません," post-reveal he switched to "俺さま"/"snover-さま" (omfg), he also started calling bidoof お前 (see above - super formal language vs. super...not...)
OTHER BITS: snover used assertive sentence ender さ, gligar used ぜ (very masculine and a bit rough/forceful/sneaky), snover used "ねえ" instead of ない which adds even more colloquiality, all 3 of them interchangingly used "な" and "ろ" command forms, both of which can be (and in this case, were) impolite. (this was very well timed because i JUST studied command forms this morning!)
BONUS OTHER BITS: gligar taught me a couple new words: "やがる," which is attached to a verb to show that the speaker has disdain/contempt/hatred for what someone else is doing, and "このやろう," which is rude to the point of being listed as "you bastard/son of a bitch" in jisho. also, ALL THREE OF THEM used くそ, and interestingly, くそ was always written in hiragana and always followed by a small つ pause, which was in katakana. weird!
i was genuinely surprised by how nasty their language was, even worse (way worse) than team skull (at least so far). but it was pretty effective writing! nasty fellas!
general notes: this was easily the best play session ive had so far, like, bar none. maybe its because i studied a lot yesterday and i had some residual smartness or maybe ive just made a lot of real progress but today i felt like i was FLYING through most of the sentences, and concepts/constructs i was mildly-to-moderately familiar with suddenly became so much easier to get!!! and the best part is that i've only played sky once, so unlike the rest of the game, i DON'T have hard-coded memories of the special episodes and their associated dialogue; all i had to go on here was what i remember from playing the game like 3ish years ago + the synopsis on bulbapedia (i was checking to see how long it is because i was getting tired lol). so, i'm REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF for basically wading into (young) native-level material that i'm only kinda familiar with and understanding it so well!!!!!! today was great!!!! i've never felt so 日本語上手!!!!!!!!! ^_^
GOOD SENTENCES (realistically i should put like 75% of the episode here, but i can't, so just some of the best instead)
(all translations are freehanded by me since i don't remember the real english dialogue lol)
90+% of the conversation between chatot and bidoof at the beginning of the episode. seriously i barely looked at the dictionary at all during this part and i could tell what they were saying and what the feeling was WHEEEE i'm so happy
"プクリンのギルドをそつぎょうできりゃあんたりっぱなたんけんかにな���るよ" (said by camerupt to bidoof) = "if you can graduate from wigglytuff's guild, you can become a magnificent explorer" (lit. "wigglytuff's guild OBJ graduation DO-POTENTIAL-CONDITIONAL you magnificent exploration TARGET become-POTENTIAL-NONPAST NEW"
"じつはあっしってなにをやるにしても。。。どうもどんくさいようで。。。いつもギルドでしっぱいばかりしてるんでゲス" (said by bidoof to himself at the shop) = "really, no matter what i try/do, i always seem stupid/clumsy...at the guild, i do nothing but fail..." (lit. "reality TOPIC i QUOTE what OBJ do TARGET do-EVEN-IF...awfully stupid/clumsy likeness COPULA-CONN...always guild LOC failure nothing-but do-EXIST-IN-STATE EXPLANATORY (COPULA)")
^ proud of myself for understanding the sentence structure here, i think my particle-understanding and structure recognition are both improving by leaps and bounds
"いつかこんなひがくるかとおもってね。。。まえからすこしずつためてたんだよ。なにかこまったことがあったらつかっておくれ" (said by bidoof mom to him when giving him $) = "i figured this day would come eventually...i've been saving up money bit by bit for a long time. if you get into trouble, use it, okay?" (lit. "someday (when QUESTION) this-kind-of day SBJ come-NONPAST QUESTION QUOTE think-CONN SHARED...before since a-little-bit piece-by-piece save-up-EXIST-IN-STATE-PAST EXPLANATORY (COPULA) NEW. something (what QUESTION) trouble (troubled thing) SUBJECT exist-CONDITIONAL use-CONN-???)
^ i thought the "おくれ" on the end was from regular old "おく" but...maybe it's not...? maybe it's an irregular conjugation? i don't know...
"あっしはきがよわいからああいうやからとはあまりかかわりたくないでゲスよ。。" (said by bidoof to himself watching bagon/gligar pretend to harass snover) = "since i'm so timid, i really don't want to get involved with that group..." (lit. "i TOPIC ki SUBJECT weak since (distant)that-kind-of say-NONPAST group QUOTE TOPIC excess get-involved-with-WANT-NEGATIVE COPULA NEW...")
^ i'm endlessly fascinated by all the collocations of 気. i know it's usually translated as spirit, energy, mind, etc. but lately i've been experimenting with thinking of it as just the original chinese qi/chi concept (at least i assume that's what it is.....erm) and taking the collocations literally and it works surprisingly well - in this case "since my qi is weak..."
"いちりゅうのたんけんかになるというあっしのゆめもかなえてくれるかもしれないんでゲス!" (said by bidoof to himself while chatot tells him about star cave) = "maybe even my dream of becoming a first-rate explorer can be granted!" (lit. "first-rate CLASS exploration QUESTION TARGET become-NONPAST QUOTE say-NONPAST i POSSESSIVE dream EVEN grant-CONN-give-down-NONPAST QUESTION EVEN(?) know-POTENTIAL-NEG EXPLANATORY (COPULA)!"
^ how many particles do we need man???????
"ただ。。。あのばでちからまかせにうばうとさわぎになる。" (said by snover to bidoof in the cave) = "but...if we went full power and took it by force out there...there would've been an uproar." (lit. "but...that place LOC using-all-one's-strength ADV take-by-force-NONPAST CONDITIONAL uproar TARGET become-NONPAST")
^ i think i'm getting better at recognizing what と is doing in any given sentence, which is great because i hate how many functions it has, and my grasp of conditionals is getting stronger too! i kind of appreciate how japanese does it similarly to english (vs. spanish) - but that's a topic for another post
#mine#the bottom section of this post looks like shit sorry tumblr formatting is ass#sorry this is just a giant wall of text lol that's the way it goes#anyway i feel really smart!!!!! >:)#this took up like. most of my day atp lol i'm so tired now...and hungry too...going to relax all night#maybe play more y4 or maybe minecraft or maybe neither i really dont know#but i deserve a break...ahh#pokemon fushigi no diary#next post we'll be back with the boys and maybe even starting the expedition...look forward to it (cause i sure am)!!!!!#i was thinking the special episodes can be like mini checkpoints for progress tracking#since i don't know their dialogue in advance like i do with the rest of the game#they're like little mini tests for me to see how good i am at spontaneously understanding japanese#rather than understanding japanese with a translation already in my hand#btw the reason i type everything in hiragana here even tho i could use kanji is just cause thats what i see ingame#i want it to be accurate...no help from kanji in the post if thats not what i got ingame#i actually think the forced-kana thing is doing me a huge favor in terms of recognizing and differentiating words#when i started playing it was hard to tell where a word ended and a particle began#but now im like pro at it#immersion really does wonders doesnt it lol
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Okay actually, the OG Just Desserts style was onto something (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#And also ft. the last little bit of the WOY style attempts#They were what convinced me to look at the original style doodles! Looking for poses#I started just by going back to the early TVAU doodles to give one more proper fair shake to those rejected outfits#Wouldn't you know it they're still rejected lol but! The wings are still very good#And the poses are silly lol#She is always real cute tho <3#It does feel funny going back to her early doodles and trying to style-match - my style was much looser at the time#Which is part of why her hair looks so good - those swirls are wild! It's very cool! But it's hard to replicate now :0#You can kinda see it in how hard and dark the lines are in her hair - before it'd basically be a scribble nest haha#Both have their aesthetic placement I just hrmm#I miss it a bit#There's something almost uncanny about trying to go back now - sizing maybe? Proportions? I'm not sure#She was always meant to have that chibi proportion big head and simplified body so maybe it's her neck being so visible that's throwing me??#I do like the small collar tho! It's gotten a little out of control lately haha ♪ Save that for alt outfits!#The weird shape of her hairline was a bit contributor to her overall hair shape as well - lots of little details! It's neat#That crying one has gotten two redraws now haha ironically not to actually ''improve'' just to dissect what's Up lol#I am happier with this one compared to the first redraw tho :D Her feet and ankles especially they actually make shape-sense!#And I have to admit the big flowery-bubble looking tops of her shoes it's very cute and the larger bonbons - proportions! Who knew lol#Her spinning the Staff was always one of my favourites hehe ♪ Confident and cheeky little Charm#Good for her
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video called "pirate shirt tutorial that actually makes sense" with a thumbnail clickbaitingly copying bernadette banner's style, which does the exact same thing as bernadette banner's video but more confusingly and without a diagram in the video itself, also failing to understand that bernadette banner's channel is primarily a history channel and not a sewing tutorial channel so telling people they don't have to hand-sew the pirate shirt or they don't have to thread-pull is unnecessary because bernadette banner literally said "do this however you want, i just do it this way because it's how i learn about historical dress practices" in her own video. couldn't ask for better youtube entertainment
#source: i'm an idiot and i've made two of bernadette's pirate shirts and they're fantastic#understanding that her diagram is not a pattern but a guideline on how to make your own pattern#is like. not that hard to get. she gave her measurements and then explained how to get your own#to be fair!! everyone learns differently! there are many comments saying that this other video made sense and helped them#which is absolutely fair and good. more knowledge is never a bad thing#it's just the presentation of this other video that i find so funny#'yes i CAN explain how to make a historically accurate men's shirt better than the actual historical dress historian'#[footage not found]#just the way of explaining the shoulder seams...........so much more confusing than bernadette's diagram#also calling the reinforcement patches on the neck/cuff splits??? useless/pointless??????#sorry i want my garments to not fall apart because i can't afford really nice fabric lmao i will be reinforcing those points. thanks tho#also 'no one is talking about neck gussets i couldn't find any info' HUH ???#i just want to know if they looked anywhere besides youtube because there are absolutely people talking abt neck gussets#i should not be such a bitch about this. it's not that big a deal. again in the end: more people sharing knowledge is Good#but my friend!!! come on now!!!!#aster chat#ah fuck lads i want to make another poet shirt because that's exactly what i need going into what i'm sure will be a blazing summer#another long sleeved shirt with three yards of fabric to smother myself in#that do Not go with any of my work appropriate trousers
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the suyeol lore is so crazy
#their relationship is so interesting to me like aoughhhh#like you see subaek and even tho they don't talk a lot on camera (most of the time) those two get along so well#they understand and respect each other so much they take their job very seriously and they're actually good friends as a result#suyeol on the other hand is 12 years of slowburn like it's crazyyyyy#you admire him and believe in him like no one else does and then you discover that he isn't that great actually#so you get disappointed and distance yourself and then you both are in this weird limbo for years as you grow up#and slowly but surely you rediscover how your relationship works because both of you are adults now and now we're here#like yeah suhito was stressed back then the context was not great for a leader AND tao was still with exo so lmao pcy could fend for himself#so i get ittttt they were going through it but. i need to know what he said to pcy like oh my god was it really that bad 😭#i wonder if they've ever mentioned it 🤔#writing this bc i just remembered that one time they had to describe e/o and suho was like#“you're my cute dongsaeng i admire your talents so much and oh btw you're not uncomfortable around me these days right? uwu”#LIKE ??? KING YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND LEAVE US IN THE DARK#(<- they totally can it's not our business lmao)#idolization to tentative ''''enemies'''' to coworkers to friends to good friends is crazy#i need to look into this properly omg let's do some research#anyways i want a subunit :) they can be called exo sc too sehun won't mind bc these are like his favorite people in the world!!!#idk i find the exos and their bond so interesting because you truly have it all with them there's a whole spectrum of friendships#and i appreciate that it's not like with b*s & taegi (if you don't know who they are... let's keep it that way <3)#because those two were just too different to get along. it was extreme. but bighit forced it so much it was painful to see sometimes#and then the hawaii trip came and they painted it like a ''see? after this trip they get along so well now <3'' moment#1. girl let's be serious for a sec 😐 and 2. it's not our business!!!!! focus on making good music!!!!!#i'm so glad exo didn't have to go through something like that bc i just know that they'd have disbanded by now sjfsifjsk#the saranghaja sprite isn't that intense we lovr freedom of choice (keeping in mind that they were under sm) <33333#so YEAH. can you guys tell i can't sleep hehe :)#dara.t#suho and chanyeol
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LAPoem's Mirotic cover................ Cassies wake up this is our Forestella moment
#tvxq#dbsk#yes i got my hands on the Immortal Song performances what are you going to do about it#finally some real f*cking music from real f*cking musicians that sh*t f*cked!!!!!!!!!!!!!! severely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#pulling some Mozart countertenor sh*t shut the f*ck up#now i need an actual Forestella cover bc they would kill it but Woorim's in the military like he hasn't already served by#1. marrying Yuna and 2. merely existing. f*ck them fr we have been robbed#don't get me started on KARDI's Rising Sun cover Yunho was living his best dream with that. JD1 and HUG was cute af#but then again the original is cute af so#ASEUL subunit Wrong Number Cassies we also won with that Yunho's girlfriend has returned!!!!!!!!!! Seulgi has returned#stable vocals amen and amen. put it on Spotify i'll stream the sh*t out of it#ONF and KYHD......................... definitely turned it into a ONF song. like pre-release single off comeback album ONF song#i'm too emotionally attached to KYHD to give their version multiple listens tho sorry kids. good job#ZB1 went for a very 00s hiphop tape vibe for TWUA (closer to the original) which was nice. except these boys are not sexy in#any way despite the choreo they look pocket sized in that leather. i would not hesitate before putting them in my pocket#they won the the Immortal Song ep tho which uh. not sure how that happened but ykw i'll give them the win they're cute + they're#rookies and they came out here and got in studio Cassies to like them. congratulations
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Guess what, I've worked what probably amounts to half of my total hours, in one fucking month. My store is resting on my shoulders, it seems, and boy do I feel that. I have not had a moment's rest since my vacation, and uh, it's probably not sustainable? Maybe?
Anyway. Guess who's going to be travelling for hours on end and then arrive just a day before a mandatory University lecture? It's me!
#text_loke#i'm also curious what my boss is going to say when he gets back. and looks at my nightmare hours#because uh. i've worked. wayyyy too much these last few months#and i am. halfway. tempted to make a little bit of a racket to the higher ups to argue my way for a higher percentage position#because i have not worked 20% in a WHILE. gimme my 40% because i for damn sure have earned it#i also. somehow. need to squeeze in the time to read the books for my Masters. because uh. i'm also doing that#can you tell i'm living by a thread rn? my sister legit just moved out yesterday and i have NOT had time to process that#i still don't have time! i won't have time!#so i shall grin and bear it as i always do!#ahjshdd legit tho. yesterday i had barely had anything to eat due to my schedule being PACKED#i woke up after five hours of sleep finished the postbox for my sister RAN out the door for Uni at 11. and when done at Uni went work#my coworker thought me insane yesterday for bouncing on my feet with barely any food in my body. or sleep#however. it's just how i am. i can just. grin and go on with my day and function when my body is Barely Responding#i will just. not be quite intelligent because my brain is Slow#also. i was NOT happy being one hour extra at work today. like it WAS worth it and i did it freely#but also i wanted to go home. but. closing shift needed my help and i had to make sure everything was ok before i left#however. i have. so much bullshit i must do tomorrow. fuck#anyway. if y'all are curious as to where i've been these last few months. my answer is dying (work and uni). i am perished#i have barely any time for myself anymore. i'm not mad about it or anything. not even like. burnt out (knock on wood)#however. i do feel the toll. i do wish i could just. do fun things again. hopefully when uni properly starts and i go to my ACTUAL CONTRACT#i can then finally relax. right now however. not so much#hopefully they won't need me next week tho. because i cannot. at all#anyway. if i didn't already know i was a workaholic i sure do now!
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really horribly anxious this morning and can't seem to shake it off :-(
#struggling not to dissociate. just don't really know what I'm going to do with all this i think thats where its coming from#+ exacerbated by so much recent disappointment. its hard not to direct that towards myself even when im not really at fault#not to mention disappointment in other people. which is really just more self disappointment for having expectations in the first place#which are unfeasible/not communicated. i just feel so unreal and unreachable. kind of just incompatible with the world i think#and i dont remember how to weave myself back into it again.im not sure ive ever really known how. immiscibility innit#its ok. going to try and start meditating daily again. and negotiate better boundaries for myself. it might help to journal it out#not on here i mean in a physical journal. i can't hold this exclusively in my head or I'll want to start harming again ik its a trigger#its all okay tho sorry this sounds more dramatic than it actually is. my flatmates gone out so at least i can cry while doing chores#she was dressed up nice and came to say goodbye when she left which she doesnt normally do so i dont think she'll be back for a while#hope she has a good time whatever shes up to. probably shouldve asked in hindsight but im too anxious to be able to talk today#and selfishly it would make me feel worse trying not to compare myself to how much more meshed with reality she is she makes it look easy#she only wanted me to do her suncream but i started trembling rly badly after. just cant physically be around other people right now#well at least i didnt cry in front of her so thats something. okay. ive made a list of tasks so im going to pick them off one at a time#i shouldnt have to think too much about them. and hopefully by the time im done ill feel much calmer#and then maybe i can play a game or smth. but if not i wont be hard on myself ill just go lie down and listen to music instead#man it is a shame about this festival though but it is what it is. therell be other days. i guess im not really a weekend person hey#ah itll all pass its all good. im always okay again eventually however temporarily. i dont need anything other than that#.diaries
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Me: I have a Grand Idea for a cool new mod for the video game I am currently fixated upon, I bet This Time it won't be so hard to try and make it. :)
Me, inevitably, every single time:
#aesa rambles#it's going great guys#gave my first try at editing maps and stuff for stardew#the tutorial i found is great at One Specific Type of Change so i had to... figure out part of it myself#legit just needed to figure out how to make a character go from Map A to Map B by walking onto a tile#the tutorial i was looking at tho assumed i was making a door you have to click on which like... Fair i guess#but not helpful#i do think i may have gotten it and if I'm correct then the code is much simpler#tbh even the program i used wasn't as unintuitive as i feared#i mean i would love to find a user manual anyway (i did not look for one tbf) but at least it's not like. the fucking Creation Kit x.x#i figured before i did any more sprite work i should actually make sure#i know how to you know... make things work in the game#something i should NOT have started doing at 10pm#it is now going on 1am
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Tumblr in the 60s
☮ monkeewholock follow
🎉🎉CONGRATULATIONS UNITED KINGDOM 🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉BYE BYE GROSS INDECENCY!!!!🌈🌈🌈 62 countries have now legalized sexual activities between men🌈🌈🌈
🐞 homophilespock follow
SPIRK CAN FINALLY FUCK
🚀 starrfleet follow
They are American, not British... But I'm pretty sure spirk has always been able to fuck since the show is set in the future.
📻 lesbianbobdylan follow
Christ, this is not about your cutesy uwu yaoi otp, go outside and smoke some grass
10,8 t. notes
🌻 flowerpower follow
Politicians are not your friends but damn Kennedy is fine, I look at one (1) picture of him and my head literally explodes
🌻 flowerpower follow
...i just woke up, why is my askbox full
🌻 flowerpower follow
WHY IS HE TRENDING I'M SCARED
🌻 flowerpower follow
guys stop reblogging this it's been like five years i've changed
290,9 t. notes
🎹 nixonsafascist follow
do you think they call him little richard because he has a little. Richard
🎹 nixonsafascist follow
easy website
58,1 t. notes
🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Being the only lesbian in your friend group sucks so bad. "beatles or stones??" i will kill you
🗣 lavendermenaceisreal-deactivated72537262
Disrespecting female social groups for male validation? Typical lesbian behaviour.
🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Mike Jacker isnt gonna fuck you
🇻🇳 shirellesofficial follow
Oh no I think she couldn't handle that
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✌ draftdodgerdyke
DM me for the addresses of my Swedish and Canadian friends. Do not put your personal information in the reblogs.
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
You should be ashamed of yourself.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
huh??
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
I said, you should be ashamed of yourself. You disgust me. I assure you, when the commies attack us, you will not find your silly little post "groovy" anymore.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Jesus, don't flip your wig
🙍♀️ silvermilk follow
My father fought in ww2 for you ungrateful degenerate.
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Don't see what your daddy's unsexiness has to do with me and my lads taking a sexy sexy trip to Sweden.
#anyway only hot guys dodge the draft
587 notes
🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow
in every interview i watch of the beatles they are so DONE and trolling everybody, these fucking annoying BITCHES, i need them inside me so badly
🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow
#this but not john lennon #i just can't forget the heinous things he said about jesus
idk I actually think it was very sexy of him, stop trying to cancel john in my post
✝️ jesusrevolution follow
The reading comprehension on this website is piss poor. John literally didn't mean he was greater than Jesus or better than Jesus, he was just trying to make a point about the world becoming more secular. Cancel culture has gone too far.
🚷 to-hell-with-the-beatles follow
How dare you say we piss on the poor?? Jesus died for Mr Lennon's sins and it's not "cancelling" to send him a few respectably worded death threats to remind him of that. He cancelled our Lord first!
✝️ jesusrevolution follow
Girl Jesus literally said it's cool, I dropped acid yesterday and saw Him and He told me.
🪕 prostitutesandlesbians follow
help the girls (christians) are fighting in my beatles thirst post
6,008 notes
🛼 donovandyke follow
I will be glued to the tv today. If you don't want to hear about it, just blacklist #moonlanding !!
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🗣 claudeberger4ever-deactivated98975287
Hi I'm new to the Hair musical fandom so I'm not super invested in the whole discourse, but I just felt like this needed to be said: Friendly reminder that not being against the war in Vietnam does not make you a bad person!
🥁 ringoforpresident follow
it literally does tho
✌ draftdodgerdyke
Another win for us hot guys
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#how do i TAG THIS#can i just tag this ''funny'' or is that patting myself on the back too much#memes#dashboard meme#dash meme#1960s#my friend tirlittan came up with ''draftdodgerdyke''#i want that fictional blogger carnally#funny#tumblr in the 60s
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Was trying to capture him playing with the colour cube but he wouldn’t play ball :(
#W. D. Ghoster#I only got him to play with it a couple times! The first two were a repeat but I hadn't started capturing yet#Regrets lol#The second time went fine but I didn't quite frame him correctly so part of his hand got cut off whoops#And the last time he interrupted himself with a low battery warning double oops gotta turn that off#I'm not actually sure how to do that now that I go to look tho so uhm#But then he just gave me these which are cute and fun but not very helpful for my purposes at the moment lol#I don't really like messing with time traveling or resets so I guess I'll just wait until he wants to play again#But that means I have to send him away noooo#Well if needs be
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hdgjkd
#hmm lol going back to my old piano school's concert this weekend#ready to see all these kids making music together and be sad abt my life LMFAO#not ready . but it's fine nfdjgnkdsf#maybe this will push me to play piano again :|#bro when they emailed alumni asking them to come back im like idk if u meant me who hasn't touched piano in monthsss :DDD#and who isn't going anywhere / doing shit w her life lmao#but here i come anyway lmfao#nah bc i just looked at the instagram of one of the kids/alumni who is like semi slightly famous and actually making music#which is super cool and like so good for her#i'm just like . sad and unmotivated and jealous XD#i won their silly little mvp 'award' one yr for this concert .... bro all i did was come and play my silly lil piano on a few songs#and literally not talk to anyone bc i was terrified of talking to ppl TT#and they said mvp she doesn't say much but she leads by example LMFAO it's always that#i am slightly less terrified of talking to ppl now so growth ig lmao#i am significantly less terrified of talking to ppl now actually . still slightly terrified but the growth is real lolll#we'll see if i see anyone i know :'') old teachers rly#or bc other kids parents used to recognize me / talk to me and i felt so awkward lmao TT#my last piano teacher recently follow requested me on ig lmaoooo and then i accepted and requested her back and no response 🤨#i'm sure she doesn't rly look at ig tho lol#anyway if i run into her and shes like hows piano going or anything and im like haha ha haha haha hahaha so like#school happened#anyway :') basically ready to feel awkward also if they do like call the alumni in the audience up on stage like they said they might TT#like i know i am alumni and i am supposed to do that but also i will feel awkward as fuck broooofjgsdhfbgdfk why lmao#damn anyway let's see what happens#i am looking forward to it tho i just need to not overthink fucking everything like i always do lolll#jeanne talks
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Rewound Infinitely
Gojo Satoru x Reader
Part one: Infinite Rewind
Synopsis: A decade later, Gojo has finally caught up with you. Weddings take a lot of planning.
Word Count: 8.6k
(Warnings: flashbacks to gore, not healthy trauma coping, thats all tho! pretty wholesome compared to last time)
Some things about him had changed within a decade, while others stayed the same.
Even taller than you last saw him. His hair has been styled, no longer ivory chaos. You can't see a single blemish or mark despite the decade of fighting curses. He's as flawless as the first day you met him. No glasses; the entirety of his blue keeps you still.
You've seen this Satoru before: Suguru's memories, with glassy eyes, ruffled ivory hair, and an empty expression. Seeing such beauty yourself when you're standing right in front of him, it's breathtaking.
Even the lights of Tokyo couldn't compare to him.
You say nothing. You can't. Your mouth is dry and pointless. You're not even sure where to even begin. In front of a God, your insecurities pile up all over again. Is he disappointed by you? How could you explain everything that you put him through? Your mouth opens, you think you're about to speak: an apology, a plea, anything-
"—You're late!"
His hands reach up to squish your cheeks together. It was so unexpected, you squeak.
And Gojo Satoru is pouting.
It's a wave. The ocean of anxiety, guilt, and fear crashes into the shore. You feel nothing but indignant rage at the brat who clearly hadn't matured one damn bit.
"I'm not late!" You hiss back. "If anything, you're the one who's late. I was—"
You're cut off by his laugh, light and happy.
He isn't offended by your outburst; he's overjoyed about it. His cheeks are dabbed with pink, and his lips are so wide that he's showing his teeth. Your anger wanes when he pulls you into his chest, arms circling around you. You can smell his cologne when he buries his face into your hair.
"There you are. Finally." He melts into you like butter. "I missed you, Greeny."
His voice is soft, quiet, and sincere. You can't do anything but hug him back, allowing him to sink.
"I missed you, too." You whisper.
He hums. Apart from the wind, it's quiet. He's clinging onto you as though he's afraid once he lets go, you'll disappear forever. His behavior is justified. You were constantly meddling with his life before whisking away. Just this once, you allow him to keep you within his reach, letting the cat catch the canary.
"This is sweet 'n all. But we're actually getting late." He mutters. "Also, we gotta do something about your clothes."
"Hm?"
One moment, you're atop the Tokyo Skybridge; the next, you're standing in an upscale boutique.
Satoru skips away from you. Meanwhile, you're frozen, brain scrambling to catch up with what happened. Teleport. He can teleport now.
"Mr. Gojo, sir." A voice calls. An older woman smiles at him.
He gives her a casual wave before gesturing over to you. "Mind giving this one a dress? It's a black-tie event. We don't have a budget."
The woman turns to you with a smile. "Of course, sir."
What?
Dazed, you pliantly follow the woman into the back of the boutique. Her hold on you is gentle as she ushers you through the hall with one hand on either side of your shoulders. When you look back, Satoru is waving with a wide grin. The door shuts behind you.
"Do you have any preferences?"
You turn back to the woman. She's still smiling. You can't tell if it's genuine or customer service. Perhaps both.
Did Satoru not like what you're wearing? When you look down, it makes sense. Your time on the tower wasn't kind to your hair, not to mention your clothes. This morning, you'd just thrown on the first thing you saw.
This morning. That felt like centuries ago.
She's still waiting. You give a trepid smile.
"Anything," you say, "anything as long as it's cheap. I'm not exactly swimming in cash."
She gives a confused look. "Oh, but Mr. Gojo is paying, isn't he?"
Was he? You had no idea what was happening, much less what he had just said. She returns to her usual smile.
"If you have nothing in mind, let's see here..."
Some time later, your usual clothing was removed and replaced by something satin and long. It was a pretty dress that fell right to your feet. A set of women also flitted in and worked on your hair and face, putting everything back in your face so that you looked more human and less cryptid.
"What do you think?" She asks, looking at you through that mirror.
Pretty, you looked pretty. But when you looked closer, no amount of make-up could remove that look in your eyes.
When you step back out, Satoru is waiting with a tapping foot.
"Finally!" He exclaims, standing up. He doesn't acknowledge the dress, probably because he's seen himself in better. "Thanks, Hana. Okay, let's go."
"Go?" You prod. "Go where? You—you still haven't told me what you're even doing—"
It's no use. He grabs your hand, instantly warping you away from the boutique.
You're outside. There's people everywhere. In the distance, you can see a crystal glass dome. The sun was still in the sky, which was strange because you remembered watching a sunset not too long ago, unless you weren't in Japan anymore. To prove it to yourself, you check your phone location. Yakima, Washington. What the fuck.
Was this some type of torture, him flitting you from continent to continent, all in a ploy to punish you for something? You give him a pleading look.
"Just tell me what's going on—"
"Nuh-uh." He grins. "It's a surprise! Besides, you'll figure it out soon enough. Now, I gotta' go. Stay here, be good, and find the panda!"
And then he's gone.
You always knew he was insane, but this is ridiculous, even for him. To leave you in the middle of nowhere, that asshole.
There is no one you recognize in the crowd, but they are all walking towards the dome, so you meekly follow. What did he say? Find the panda? It had to be a metaphor of some kind, or perhaps there was a panda statue you needed to wait under.
And then you see a panda on two legs walking and talking with a group of teenagers.
Seriously, what else did you expect?
Feeling like you've just aged five years, you approach the group. Including the animal, there's five. They all look like 14-16 years old. You feel like you're in high school all over again when they glance over at you. The girl looks particularly unimpressed.
"Hi." You look at the panda. Maybe it's a really good costume because no one else looks shocked. "Satoru said I should find you...?"
One of them seems to get the code. The one with black hair and puppy eyes perks up.
"Ah! Are you 'Greeny'?" Did he tell everyone about that nickname? Didn't you tell him it was supposed to be a secret? Though, it doesn't really matter anymore.
"It's not my actual name." You say before introducing yourself.
He gives a nod. "Okkutso Yuta." He bows. What a polite kid. "This is my friend, Inumaki Toge."
The kid with half his face under his scarf gives a wave. You smile.
"Just Maki." The girl steps in before she gives you a once-over. "I like your dress."
"Oh, thank you!" You say happily, "I love yours as well!"
She looks away, but you have a feeling she has a hard time taking compliments.
"I'm Panda." The panda fucking says, and no, it isn't a costume, but you're too tired to ask at this point. "Nice to finally meet you."
When the final kid says nothing, Panda reaches over and wraps a furry hand around his shoulder.
"And this is Fushiguro Megumi! He's shy." Panda says cheerily. The boy flusters under his weight.
"Get off." Fushiguro gripes.
"Don't mind him." Maki rolls her eyes. "He's just throwing a tantrum because his sister couldn't make it, and he's gonna have to socialize with people instead of hiding behind her."
Fushiguro glares, but he doesn't respond to that. He just gives you a nod, and you decide these are good kids. At the very least, they're all way better than that brat Satoru.
"So, why are we waiting out here?" You ask, peering around.
"The doors haven't opened, yet," Okkutso kindly relays, "we're just waiting out here until everything is set up."
"If they're taking this long, then they should at least ask for help." Maki crosses her arms. "We've been waiting out here for at least thirty minutes."
"At least there's food." Panda tries to assuage.
"Salmon," says Inumaki.
"They're serving salmon out here?" You give him an incredulous look and he waves his arms around.
"Bonito flakes." Inumaki says. Okkutso tries to come to his rescue.
"Inumaki can't speak anything but food items because of his curse-" Maki quickly yanks him down by his collar frantically. Fushiguro is whispering something in his ear. You watch them go back and forth before it clicks.
"Does it have something to do with his technique?" You ask, curiously.
They stop squabbling.
"Oh, our bad. Sorry 'bout that." Panda gives a sheepish grin. "We didn't think you'd know about jujutsu sorcery 'cause...well. Your cursed energy is really low."
"Super low." Maki agrees.
"Salmon."
"Even lower than Maki's." That earns Panda a punch from her.
"Thank you," you dryly say, before you turn back to the building.
"What's going on in that place anyway?"
They all give you an odd look before they look at each other. Did you say something wrong?
"Did Gojo-sensei not tell you anything?" Okkotsu asks.
You allow yourself to leak some bitterness. "Satoru just dropped me on the sidewalk before teleporting away. He never tells me anything.
"That sounds like him." Panda nods.
"Idiot," Maki says.
"Such an idiot," Fushiguro says, and now you feel bad for Satoru.
"Our sensei's getting married today." Okkutso supplies. He points at the dome.
You don't get why you didn't realize it sooner. You knew these kids, at least Okkutso, Maki, Panda, and Inumaki. They all showed up on the very last day Geto Suguru died. Okkutso, in particular, had fought and defeated Suguru.
These were Gojo Satoru's students.
You think back to the last time you saw Satoru. He didn't look like a groom, but he's an eccentric guy. You wondered what kind of person would put up with him for the rest of their lives. You pitied them.
"Oh." You frown. "His wedding? I—I would have at least brought a gift."
"I don't think he'd mind," Panda said, "besides, you didn't even know!"
You still felt a bit guilty.
"We didn't bring anything either," Fushiguro states, and it helps just a tiny bit.
"When the ceremony begins, you can sit with us," Okkutso tells you, "we're supposed to keep an eye on you, anyway."
"You're not talking to a dog." Maki grunts.
"Oh no I—I didn't mean to be offensive!" Okkutso backtracks. "It's just—well, Gojo-sensei's been talking about you for a while, and we want to make sure everything goes smoothly and we were all really excited to meet you so—"
He keeps rambling like that until Inumaki pats his shoulder. You laugh, amused.
"I wasn't offended or anything." You tell him before his words sink in. "Wait, Satoru talks about me?"
"All the time." Maki responds, an edge to her voice. "'Greeny this', 'Greeny that'."
"We usually tune him out when he gets like that," Panda says, "honestly, we didn't even think you were real until just now."
"I always thought 'Greeny' was an inside joke Gojo-sensei and Haibara-sensei had," Okkotsu admits.
Something warm bubbles in your stomach.
"So," Fushiguro speaks, "how do you know Gojo, anyway?"
You didn't know the story Gojo told them so you simply keep it vague.
"I knew him as a kid."
It's Panda who gets the most excited about this.
"Really? What was he like as a teenager?"
"A brat." You instantly respond, and then you think a little more. "But I don't think that ever changed."
They ask you a couple more questions about Gojo's high school days. You oblige, thinking this as payback for how Satoru dropped you here without saying anything. You don't know how long you spend out there, airing out Gojo's younger days while his students get increasingly giggly.
Okkotsu is the one who notices the crowd is moving.
"I think they opened the doors." He smiles. "Let's go, everyone."
You follow behind Maki, admiring the architecture. It's a grand building. Sparkling crystal glass lets the sunlight bleed in. The decoration was something else entirely. Small white flowers adorn the chandelier, and they cascade down the edges. Ice sculptures of angels greeted the guests. Live music was already playing. Satoru knows how to plan a wedding.
Maki finds you all seats. You sit next to her. Fushiguro follows you. Okkutso, Inumaki, and Panda take the seats behind you. While you wait for the guests to settle down, you pass your time, waiting for the students to bicker with one another. From your assumption, it looked as though Maki, Panda, and occasionally Inumaki butted heads with each other. Okkutso often served as the timid referee, trying to get everyone to calm down, which almost always made things worse. Fushiguro just elected to ignore everything.
"Are they always like this?" You lean over to whisper to him. Fushiguro gives a tired nod.
"Every. Single. Day." He's saying this from experience, but at least you get a show.
Everyone settles down eventually. The kids grow quiet when the music starts to swell. The indoor lights dim. It's starting.
You've never been to a wedding this grand before. There was a live orchestra. Women and men were dressed in baby blue, gently strumming away their cellos, violins, and violas.
It's how you miss Satoru's entrance. He's already standing on the altar by the time you look back. He's changed into something more formal. The suit and green tie fit him. A perfectly put-together beauty. As though he can sense your stare, he catches your eye and winks.
But why was he already up there? Shouldn't he be—
"Sensei's coming!" Okkotsu whisper-yells. Inumaki hushes him.
Everyone turns to face the door. You do, too.
Your heart stops when you see him.
It's all there. Black hair, but it's longer this time around. Of course it is, he's had years to grow it out. He's tall, he must've grown since highschool.
You don't think you're breathing when you watch him walk down the aisle. The music is low, barely loud enough to hide the click of his heels. He takes his rightful place beside Satoru, his best man. Satoru gives him a nudge, and Suguru shakes his head fondly.
Everyone turns to see Shoko's entrance. You should too, but you keep staring at him. How much he's changed since high school. How much he's changed since he waltzed onstage wearing a priest's outfit, filled with nothing but empty hatred for those he viewed as weak.
But he's not wearing that twisted monk costume. His eyes aren't dull and dead and bitter. There's no sickly faux smile on his lips.
Today, Suguru looks like the happiest man on Earth.
His eyes are wide and eager and sparkling purple beauties. He's 27, but he looks younger. The lines of exhaustion and heartbreak aren't so prominent. And you—and you—
You just sit there, watching as Shoko walks up to the altar, watching as they stand as bride and groom. His daughters, adorned in pretty blue dresses, stand right behind him, smiling so hard you're sure it hurts. The priest speaks. They say their vows. You can't hear a single word. It's like you're behind a glass wall, and you can see him, but you can't feel him.
When they kiss, everything comes back. The crowd celebrates. Satoru ruffles Himeno's hair. Nanako smiles wider. Behind you, Inumaki and Panda sniffles. Okkotsu hands them a tissue.
"It’s pretty." Maki comments. Fushiguro gives a hum of agreement.
ⴵ
Satoru finds you and the kids when you're waiting for the reception to start.
He appears behind you with a cheery, "And how are my lovely students holding up?" You almost spill your drink in shock.
"Sensei!" Okkotsu chirps. "Where's Geto-sensei and Ieiri-sensei?"
"Shoko's around; Suguru's taking a break," Gojo answers with a grin. "If you don't mind me, I'll be stealing this one for a sec."
He doesn't wait for an answer, steering you away by your shoulders. You look behind you. Panda waves. Fushiguro just looks even more upset. You wave back at them regardless.
"I can't believe you put your students out on babysitting duty." You tell him. "And what's with this wedding? There's no alcohol anywhere." To make your point, you take another sip of your apple juice.
"We have kids here. Kinda' have to make it alcohol-free," Satoru says.
"The bartender could ID them." You suggest.
"You think teens who fight curses daily wouldn't figure out how to get around that?" He grins. You frown at his frustratingly good response.
“What’d you think of them?”
“Hm?”
“The kids.” He urges. “What’d you think?”
Your brows scrunch. You have no idea what he means by that. Eventually, you take a breath.
“I like how...close they are.” You eventually say. “The bond they share. They care. I think each one of them will be good sorcerers.”
He’s silent, and you think you might have misunderstood his question.
“I learned that from you,” Satoru says, “keeping them together, making sure they can grow, get stronger, together. You were always so insistent on that, back then. I’m glad you were. It was one of the best things about you.”
You stare at him. Really stare. You’ve never heard him sound so genuine, so sincere before. You look into his crystal-blue eyes, wide and earnest. Part of you wants to take a picture, so you could keep it forever.
Eventually, Gojo successfully drags you to a less crowded area of the party. He looks around.
"Hm, he should be around here somewhere...?" Satoru hums to himself.
"Who?" You ask. That question answers itself.
Haibara Yu is waiting a little ways ahead. By now, the sun was starting to set. His brown hair turned gold. Gojo eagerly hurries you forward as he calls out to him. You stumble, still lost at what you're seeing.
"Guess who I brought?" Gojo sweetly sings, Yu-Haibara, he hasn't let you call him Yu yet-tilts his head.
He smiles, confused. "Oh? Hello!" He says cheerily. "Who's this?" He asks to Gojo.
"Guess," Gojo says.
Haibara stares at you, and you decide to give him a hint.
"Brocolli head?"
He gapes. It's almost the same reaction he had last time. Last time, when you had to convince him to kill you so you could go back in time to save Satoru.
"No way." He gasps. "Greeny?"
He doesn't remember. He wouldn't, why would he? Still, it's nice to see the innocence on his face, rather than the pain you saw last time. Right before he snapped your neck.
You think he was crying the last time you two saw each other.
In this timeline, Haibara is hugging you so tightly you think your head's about to explode.
"It's really you?" Haibara says, but his bear hug muffles his words. "“—I—I can’t believe it? It’s actually you! I thought I’d never see you again even though Satoru said we'd see you again one day, and—and then suddenly you pop up outta’ nowhere—not that I’m complaining— but—”
"Haibara." You plead. "You're suffocating me."
"Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry." He lets you go, and your lungs inflate again. "I—I'm just so happy! And—and you're a girl!" He says it like it's the most surprising thing about this whole revelation. Maybe it is.
Satoru is always needy for attention and whines as always.
"Wait, you two came up with a code word?" He complains. "That's not fair. We never did that."
"I mean, it was Haibara's idea." You point out. "You should be smarter next time."
That makes him frown even more. You laugh.
"Yu." Haibara suddenly says.
You turn to him.
"My friends call me Yu."
It's nice to know that no matter what timeline you're in, Yu will always remain stagnant.
"Okay, lover boy," Gojo says with a not-so playful bite, "keep your eye on this one for me, okay? Gotta' go do more best man shit."
Satoru's gone once again. You look at Yu.
"He's been running around since I got here." You tell him. "Does that man ever rest?"
"Nope." Haibara grins, before taking your arm. "Follow me; you should meet a couple of people."
He leads you through the crowd. You spot the teens moping about out of the corner of your eye. Panda and Inumaki seem to be in a push-up competition. Maki is egging them on. You wisely decide not to disturb them.
Yu drops your hand to wave to someone. There's no need for any kind of introduction for these people.
Riko and Misato Kuroi smile at you first. Miss Kuroi's aged beautifully since you last saw her. Wispy silver hair knitted seamlessly into brown strands. She never got that chance to grow gray hairs last time. You're staring so much it might be rude.
"Yu?" Riko asks and you think you're about to break because they know each other. "Who's this?"
"Uh, this-" Haibara chokes before looking at your awkwardly. Right, he doesn't know your actual name.
Come to think of it, Satoru doesn't know either. He never bothered to ask too. Probably on purpose. Ass.
You smile and politely introduce yourself. It takes everything within you not to scream and hug them both because in this timeline, they don't know you. They never did.
But you can change that now.
"Hello!" Riko beams. "I'm Kuroi Riko, but just Riko is fine! And this is my mom: Kuroi Misato."
She says that so plainly, like that had always been her name, like Miss Kuroi had always been her mother. You wonder how long it took for those two realities to become her norm. Or maybe it hardly took time at all.
"It's wonderful to meet you." Miss Kuroi states before she tilts her head. "May I ask how you know the couple?"
Haibara jumps in for you. "Um—actually, this is Satoru's date!" He fumbles.
You do a double-take. No, you technically weren't Satoru's date. But you technically entered the wedding with him. And he was the one who 'invited' you. Fuck, you were the brat's date. Damn it.
"Ah." Nanami cuts in for the first time. "So, you're the one Gojo won't shut up about."
His accusation sounds like Maki's, but less harsh. You wonder if he has a favorite student.
Nanami looks the most different from his high school counterpart. A new haircut, less slouchy, more tall and refined. He blinks at you, slow and calculating.
Sheepishly, you laugh. "Yeah...that's me....sorry."
"Don't be rude, Kento."
Ieiri arrives with a soft smile and painted features. She's changed out of her glowing gown, sticking to something small yet perfectly elegant: a short white dress that curls ever so slightly at the ends. Riko's the first to hug her, ecstatic. Ieiri hugs her back, too, because they've become friends in this timeline. The circles under her eyes are less prominent. Her smile looks more real. This isn't the timeline where she's had to bury her friend; it's the timeline she's allowed to marry him.
"Congratulations," you say politely once everyone is done cooing over her. She smiles at you, the way a stranger would.
Then, her head tilts.
"Sorry," she hesitates, "do we know each other? You...feel familiar somehow."
Ieiri was the first person you met when you activated your technique and returned to the past for the first time. She was the one who calmed you down, kept you grounded. In a way, you owed a lot to her.
Looking at her, you can see why Suguru kept her cigarettes in his pocket.
You shrug. "I must have one of those faces."
The attention turns back to her, her beautiful dress, pure and white and beautiful. You feel Haibara stare at you. You shake your head at him. It wasn't the time. Maybe it never will be.
"This really is a beautiful wedding," Mistato says when the conversation reaches a pleasant lull, "I can't imagine how much it cost."
She shrugged.
"Probably a fortune, but I let Satoru deal with the numbers."
Misato looks confused, and Ieiri laughs.
"He paid for everything." She gestures to the venue. "Suguru and I didn't have to fork over a single cent. It's the least he could do for being a pain in the ass for 12 years."
Damn, you knew he was rich, but you didn't know he was rich rich. Maybe you should consider being nicer to him. If you ask politely, perhaps you could get him to pay off your car loans.
"I'll get him to pay for my wedding too." Riko proudly says.
"He'd probably do it, too." Ieiri nodded along. "He offered, just like that. The only thing he was hellbent on was the date."
"The date?" You echo. Ieiri shrugs, messing with her laced sleeves.
"Said it absolutely needed to be on December 24th. Something about spirituality. I never listened to that guy's rants."
It comes to you immediately, but you're pushing it away. No way. Satoru wouldn't. There isn't a chance in Hell he would have convinced his friends to have the biggest day of their lives on the same day you were supposed to meet him.
No, of course, he would do that. Ass.
"So, how do you know Satoru?" Riko asks you. When she realized how rude it sounded, she backtracked. "I—I didn't mean anything by it! It's just...the guy only knows five people. When he spoke about bringing someone along, I thought he was joking."
"Same here," Nanami says. Haibara stifles a laugh, and you realize all of Satoru's friends think he's a loser.
Friends. Back then, he only had one of those.
"Um." You toss Haibara look. He shrugs. "We met a few years ago! But we just recently reconnected." That's close enough to the truth. Good enough.
You remember your blunder. You sympathetically look at Shoko.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to bring a gift," you say, "I was blindsided. Satoru barely gave me enough time to get ready."
You laugh, and you're hoping they laugh it off too. They don't, instead Shoko, Nanami, Riko, and Misato look at you. Then, they look at each other.
Nanami speaks first. He clears his throat.
"Did Satoru....abduct you?"
"What?"
"That sounds like him." Misato sighs, more exasperated than anything else.
Riko nods along with her. "We tried to teach him. Where did we go wrong?" she laments.
Haibara and Shoko laugh as you desperately try to defend your not-date date because he didn't actually kidnap you, but he did bring you here against your will and started dragging you along like some toy, but it's the context about that that matters. You wished they could've had a bit more faith in him. Poor Satoru.
It ends eventually. Ieiri excuses herself. Riko and Misato go too. You stay with Yu and Nanami, watching as they get into increasingly petty arguments. It’s hilarious how quickly Yu is able to bring the usually staunch and serious Nanami down to his level.
Sometime later, you find yourself roaming the balcony. The party roars on indoors, laughing, talking, cheering. It was chilly outside, you should go back in within a few minutes. You just needed a break from the action.
The sun had already gone down, by then. You were somewhere out in the country. The buildings sparsely dotted the horizon. There were no artificial lights. It meant the stars could shine as brightly as they wanted to, with no one to stop them.
You hadn’t seen Satoru in a while. You had no idea where he’d run off to. It didn’t matter; you knew he’d eventually pop out of a box to harass you again.
But now that you had space for yourself, you needed to think.
You rest your hands over the rail, looking up at the stars. There were so many out tonight.
You fixed the future. You changed everything. Does that mean you still needed to tell Satoru about the past timeline?
You promised him answers the next time you two met. You promised him an explanation. He waited ten years for that. You pinch at the fabric of the dress.
This future that you carefully built, crafted with your own hands. It’s delicate, a glass castle.
It’s justice, but did that make it right?
“Want one?”
The voice makes you jump.
He stares at you, leaning against the rail. Purple eyes, mirroring the starry sky.
You knew these eyes, for a while, they used to be yours.
You stare at him. Then, you stare at the cigarette in his inviting fingers.
Your fingers twitch.
“No—no, I’m fine.” You smile. “Actually, I’m trying to quit.”
“Ah.” Suguru says, lighting it up before bringing it to his lips. “Shouldn’t tempt you, then. Pardon, what’s your name?”
You can hear your heartbeat. It’s loud, right in your ear. You wonder if he can hear it too. Are his curses around? Can they smell it? Your blood? Are they still as ravenous as the last time, eager to tear and fester and eat—
“It’s Greeny,” you say, “you can call me Greeny. ”
He hums in approval.
“Geto Suguru,” he says, “though I’m pretty sure you already know that.” You both share a huff of laughter.
“My fiancé quit a few years ago.” Suguru starts, mentioning the cherry-red cigarette. “Thought I’d follow in her footsteps, but here I am.” He shrugs before he winces.
“Wife, sorry.” He corrects. “I still can’t believe it.”
The monsters come out to play their song. You close your eyes, forgive Suguru, and you die once more.
You smile at his tone. He sounded like that 12 years ago, when he was still just a kid. Full of soft wonder.
“I’m guessing you’ve been planning this for a long time?” You ask.
He shrugs. “Shoko did most of the work. This is all thanks to her, really. Unfortunately, I was too busy managing the school.”
“I heard you were a principal?” You prod.
Suguru nods, “Our current one recently retired. I’m trying to follow in his footsteps.”
You think of Principal Yaga, the one with sunglasses and a stern expression. He looks a lot like Nanami in some areas. But he acts more like Suguru than anyone you ever knew.
And you knew Suguru; you knew him as well as yourself.
The screams start up again, and you forgive Suguru.
“I can tell you’re already making him proud,” you say, “I met your students. They’re good kids.”
He smiles, soft, gentle. Those used to be your smiles.
“They are, aren’t they?” He repeats back, “some of them had a rough beginning, but it all worked out somehow.” He hums. “I’m glad.”
His daughters, the ones standing beside him as he kissed his wife, wide eyes and even wider grins. They didn’t have the darkness in their faces. The bitterness. Like they did in the last timeline.
You were glad, too.
This death is a lot more painful than the others.
The curse that's holding you is more intelligent than its predecessors. It keeps you alive, tearing at your skin, feasting on your flesh. Blood is everywhere. You scream until it rips out your vocal cords. It's almost a mercy to just die.
You forgive Suguru.
“It sounds like you’ve had personal experience with that sort of thing.” When he looks at you, you quickly say. “Your eyes. I—I can see it. I’ve always been good at that sort of thing.” You knew Suguru. His eyes matched yours.
He doesn’t look offended. Suguru takes a minute, reaching up to his black locks. He removes the elastic, pretty black hair falls down his shoulders He’s grown it out since high school. It reaches his waist.
He eases himself back onto the rail, looking up at the stars. You follow.
“Yeah, I do,” he’s saying, “I think I know what it’s like being them at that age. Alone, isolated, slipping down a rock. Drowning, but no one can see it.” Ingested. Exorcised. Ingested. Exorcised.
“When I was younger...it was really hard. Some days, I was so full of hate and anger. The pain was a lot. Sometimes, I had this despicable idea that it was someone else’s fault I was like this. Someone innocent.” He laughs, bitter.
“And, on those days, I would often feel something.”
You look at him. Suguru doesn’t stare back, eyes lost in the stars.
“Sometimes, it’d be a voice. Other times a small nudge on my shoulders, pushing me in the right direction. Once, it was a hug, keeping me from doing something that would’ve changed my life forever. And it would be just a bit more bearable, like I wasn’t so alone.”
You can feel your heart in your throat. Your fingers grip the railing.
“What did you think it was?” You expect hate, disgust. You want to give yourself a reason.
You forgive Suguru.
He takes a moment, coming back from heaven. His eyes find yours.
“I’m not sure.” He admits. “I’m not religious, but I always liked to think of it as—”
An angel. A hand of God. A higher power. It doesn’t matter what Suguru said, you knew what he meant.
A part of you always wondered why Suguru would return to Jujutsu society, when he wanted nothing more than to run from it. You expected him to retire. Instead, he took the reins of the beast, wrangling it down. Now, you get why.
“That’s why you’re a teacher now,” you say, “so you could be the same thing for your students.”
He nods, and you think of Maki. You think of Okkutso. You think of Panda. You think of Fushiguro. You think of Inumaki. Suguru must have been there for Maki, even when her own family wasn’t. Suguru must have helped Okkutso control his technique, being the only one who could. Suguru, must have made these kids better than they ever possibly could’ve been. Fighting for them instead of against them.
“Sorry.” He blinks. “I—I didn’t mean to get so sentimental. It’s been years since I thought about my own highschool years.” He laughs, voice full.
“You’re just...really nice to talk to.” He hums. “I don’t think I can explain it but it’s...familiar somehow.”
You look at him. He’s older, but in some ways, he hasn’t really changed. Even now, when you look at him, you see a reflection of yourself.
“I can see why he likes you.”
“Who?” You ask when he brings you back from your thoughts.
“The idiot.” But he says it so affectionately, so lovingly, you can’t help but smile. “I saw him dragging you around earlier. Sorry about that. I would’ve stepped in but...” He trails off, thinking.
“It’s been a while since I saw him like that.”
You hadn’t noticed anything about Satoru. He smiled just as brightly as he did in highschool. Now, you wonder if this was the first time in a while Suguru had seen that side of him: carefree, no longer The Strongest.
It hurts. It hurts so much. Blood seeps into the pavement. You can hear the curse laughing. It sounds like him.
You forgive Suguru.
“Are you and him…” he trails off.
“No.” You laugh. “No, I’m his….childhood friend. We just haven’t seen each other in a while.”
“Oh?” He tilts his head. “How long has it been?”
You decide to be honest. “Ten or so years, give or take?”
He whistles.
“No wonder he’s bouncing around like a yipping puppy,” He says, and you can’t help but agree with the analogy.
“In any case.” He leans over the railing. His cigarette is down to its last embers. “I hope you stick around. A friend…I think he needs more of those more than anything.”
You stare at him. Those purple eyes. You can see what Shoko sees. You can see what Satoru saw all those timelines ago. They only ever saw the light, the gentleness, of Geto Suguru.
You are the only person in the world who knows him.
He’s killed people. He’s killed you. No matter how much logic or justification or pain was involved, the blood of the innocent is still sticky. It still drips across the pavement, scarring the sidewalk in red. It still hurts.
When Suguru would kill you, you’d force yourself to forgive him. You needed to die without regrets, because the pain of hatred builds up, you’ve seen it happen firsthand.
But now that you’re free, what Suguru did to you wasn't fair. Just because his innocence was taken away doesn’t give him the right to take the lives of others. It never gives anyone the right to murder. You keep telling yourself that this Suguru and that Suguru were different…but they weren’t. Not really. The look in their eyes matched perfectly.
He’d do it again, in the right conditions.
And yet.
You forgive Suguru.
You can’t judge him. If there is a God, maybe Suguru will have to pay for the crimes he committed all those timelines ago. You can’t save Suguru from that. But to you, the debt is paid.
Besides, you’re too tired to hate him. And you won’t allow yourself to fall into the same cycle he struggled to break free from.
You look into his eyes. Then, at his ring. You smile.
And that's enough.
“I will,” you say, “I will.”
Then, as two parts of a whole, the two of you stare at the stars for a little while longer.
ⴵ
The reception was nice. A fancy dinner, you can’t remember the last time you ate something. The speeches were beautiful, especially Shoko’s. You swore you saw Nanami shed a tear, but you never said anything about it.
You saw a glimpse of white hair in the crowd before the first dance began. Stunning music. The couple must have practiced for months. Bride and Groom, husband and wife, held hands and looked at each other like they were the only ones in the room.
Megumi stood beside you, watching Ieiri and Geto sway to the music. As though the kid could sense him, Megumi’s serene face sours. You’re about to ask him what’s wrong when there’s a tap on your shoulder.
“Cute, huh?” Satoru starts, mentioning at the dance. “It didn’t look this put-together in the beginning. Shoko gave him a ton of bruises,” he says with a shit-eating grin.
You frown. “Shouldn’t you be doing something else than gossiping about your friends?”
“I am! I’m checking up on my son!” And then he turns to Fushiguru. “Megumi!”
“No.” Fushiguro instantly rebukes.
“Don’t mind him.” Satoru chides. “He’s going through an angst phase.” Fushiguro rolls his eyes, but he shifts just a tiny bit.
“Y’know, he was actually supposed to be the flower boy, but he refused. Such a shame, the pictures would’ve been something else.” Gojo sighed and now you’re convinced they aren’t father and son.
“That was never going to happen.” Fushiguro says, and as if he thinks you’re naive enough to believe Satoru, he glances at you. “Never.”
“Of course not.” You crack a smile.
You watch as Ieiri descends into a graceful spin, Geto taking the lead. When he tips her over, your eyes soften.
Gojo leans over; you can feel his breath in your ear.
“Next year.” He whispers. “For us, it’ll definetly be next year.”
You jerk away but he’s already skipping off, having the audacity to call out a cheerful ‘toodles’.
“What did he say?” Fushiguro questions.
That’s what you wanted to know, too, but you were so tired, and the night was so long, and you couldn’t bother to get out your Gojo translator and figure it out.
“The same stuff he always says. Nonsense.” You decide on. Fushiguro takes the answer.
“I don’t understand how he has all that energy.” You mutter, watching Satoru disappear through the crowd.
“I thought he’d get better with age, turns out I was wrong,” Fushiguro says.
“I wanted to ask,” you start, your eyes still on Ieiri and Geto, “how do you know Gojo? Aren’t you still in middle school?”
“Everyone knows Gojo. He’s pretty famous in the jujutsu world.” Fushiguro shrugs. “But personally...he’s my benefactor. Took me and my sister in when my parents left.”
You look at him. And you feel like an idiot.
He’s the spitting image of his father. Sharp cobalt eyes. Black hair. Fushiguro Toji is all over the young man.
Gojo Satoru, the one who killed the sorcerer killer, took care of his enemy’s children.
“What?” Fushiguro asks when you’re smiling
You shake your head. “No, no it’s nothing.”
Satoru told you that you’re the one who taught him about the importance of bonds. But you think he should take some of the credit too.
ⴵ
Eventually, everyone gets on the dancefloor.
It’s a mess. Absolute chaos. Panda and Inumaki are trying and failing to do the waltz. Maki and Okkuttso are lightly swaying to the music. They’ve managed to get Fushiguro up there too. Though, he doesn’t look extremely happy.
The adults are even worse. Apparently, the retired principal Yaga is a pretty good dancer. You think one of them found alcohol, because Haibara looks absolutely wasted. He’s swinging his arms around, almost hitting the other guests. Nanami is trying to get his attention, but the guy wants none of it. When Haibara catches your eye, he wildly waves in clear invitation.
You smile back, but you shake your head. You think he’s about to come up to you, but something else catches his eye, and he’s grinning at a very irrated-looking Iori.
You were sitting on a chair, just people-watching. It was a nice break from everything. To listen to the music, lightly tap your feet, play with the frill of your dress. You weren’t really in the mood to dance.
Besides, you weren’t technically invited here anyway. It’d be rude to just burst on the scene.
“There you are! Been looking all over for you!”
You don’t have to look over to see who it is. Satoru slumps down in a chair next to you.
“Greeny, you gotta’ do something about your cursed energy. It’s so weak. Like finding a needle in a haystack.”
“Thanks,” you say dryly.
“Always happy to help.” Satoru beams, and then he glances over at the floor.
“We’re dancing after this song, by the way.”
“Absolutely not.”
“It’s so cute you think you have a choice, Greeny.”
You frown. “There’s no point in calling me Greeny anymore. Unless you still don’t know my name.”
“I do, but it doesn’t matter,” Satoru says arrogantly. “You’ll always be my Greeny to me.”
You roll your eyes. Even now, he’s a brat. You thought all these years would mellow him down just a tiny bit.
“So,” you start, “are you done with your ‘best man shit’?”
“Yup.” He announces. “Now, I can sit back and enjoy the show.”
You smile, but you can still feel the butterflies in your stomach. He’s been running around so far and it’s given you time. Now, that he’s free, it means you two have to talk.
And you aren’t sure if you truly want to.
You flex your fingers.
“Um, how have you—”
“Stop.” Satoru interrupts. “Let’s not make this awful, Greeny.”
You nod immediately, relaxing. His voice gets softer, after that.
“I’m glad you chose that color,” he says, “I was sorta’ hoping you would.”
You look down at the dress. A deep green. You hadn’t even thought about the color, the boutique lady had basically thrown it at you.
The shade of Satoru’s green tie matches your dress. You can feel your smile again. Typical.
“I’m glad I did too,” you honestly say. And then, you continue to fiddle with your fingers. Ultimately, you decide to just bite the bullet.
“I thought you’d be mad.” You finally say, words jittery and unfocused. “Angry at me for...for what I did.”
He’s silent, and you feared that it was all true. The laughs and the jabs were all a facade.
"I don’t think I was ever mad." He responds, staring into the crowd. "Hurt, yeah. Then, it faded into something that stung everytime I thought about it, and then...something else. And now, I know it's a waste to get mad because you're finally here now. With me."
His tone pitches upwards as he reaches over to painfully pinch your cheek.
"'Sides, I know you can't escape me anymore, Greeny," Satoru cheerfully says, "Now, I know your face, your name, and with little effort, I could probably find your address, your social security-"
"Okay! Okay!" You pull away, rubbing your cheek. Damn, he's scary. "Threat acknowledged."
"Good!" He straightens himself back up, and you find yourself slumping again.
“I am sorry, though,” you say, “for leaving like that. I...I always wished I could do that a bit differently. You deserved better.”
“Don’t do that.” He shakes his head. “Don’t blame yourself for only doing what you could. It eats at you, Greeny. It really does.” He sighs, leaning forward in his chair.
“You deserved better too,” he says back, voice barely above the music, “I always had some regrets about those years. I thought I could’ve done more to help you, back then.”
There it was again: selfishness, the urge to do good to others while retaining that greed. You supposed you taught him that.
You put your face in your hands.
“Even though, you dragged me here against my will, I feel so guilty being here.” You complain, hoping it’ll lighten the mood. “You should apologize to everyone because I crashed the party.”
Satoru scoffs. “What are you talking about? Everyone loves you!” He exclaims. “Look, Yu’s ecstatic. Riko won’t stop gushing about you; you even have Nanami’s approval! I don’t even have that!” You roll your eyes, sinking back in your seat.
“Besides, you needed to come. You needed to see it.”
“See what?” You ask.
“This.” He points to the venue, the ballroom full of glittery whites and sparkles.
“Look around, Greeny. Look at all the people you saved.”
Haibara and Riko are dancing together. Two dead children finally had the chance to grow up. Misato speaks to Nanami. Beautiful gray hair, eyes that aren’t so tired. Shoko sparkling in her dress, and Geto—
The same day he was supposed to die, Suguru was getting married.
“Thank you.” When you look at him, Satoru is staring right at you. His sea eyes give everything and more.
“Thank you for saving all of us.”
Your heart skips, then just stops completely. You can’t cry, you won’t not here, not on such a happy day. But your eyes are stinging. And Satoru is turning blurry.
And then, like Satoru always does, he ruins the moment.
"Did you just fall for me a little?"
His head tilts. That same mischievous, irritating smile lights up on his face.
You relax, laughing out of disbelief. When you speak, your voice is barely scratchy. "You're so full of yourself; it's actually a little cute."
"You think I'm cute?"
"Did you hear anything else that I just said?"
"I heard you think I'm cute,” Satoru responds proudly, and you doubt he’d ever let you hear the end of it.
“And besides! Today is supposed to be a celebration for you too!” He exclaims.
“Oh really?”
“Yes,” Satoru says proudly, “you did it! You became a fully-fledged sorcerer. Considering your low CE, you might pass as grade four, but when I talk to our new principal, I’m sure he’ll make things right. Get ready to join be and him in the big leagues.”
You could read between the lines. Satoru wanted to tell everyone. You think a while ago, you might have agreed, but...
“Can...Can I quit being a sorcerer?” You ask. “I’m tired.”
He takes a second. Some of you wonders if he’ll try to talk you out of this. It’s more beneficial for him if you stay as an asset to the jujutsu world. How many people’s lives will be saved by a technique like yours? To be able to go back in time again and again and again. To die again and again and again.
“Someone once told me that it’s okay to be selfish every once in a while.” Satoru looks at you, eyes like lilies once again. “I won’t fault you for it. I don’t think anyone will.”
When you try to smile, it feels wobbly.
“That person sounds smart.”
“Nah.” He grins. “An idiot, actually. Way too oblivious.”
You laugh, despite the insult.
“Quit,” Satoru says when it’s quiet again, “do whatever you want. But...you can’t run away, okay? I won’t let you.”
It’s barely a touch. His hand reaches for your fingers. You’re the one who grabs it.
“I won’t.” You promise. “I won’t.”
He’s satisfied with that. You can tell when he squeezes your hand back.
You look at him, and you decide you won't tell Satoru what happened in the last timeline.
There's no point. It wouldn't do anything but shatter everything he worked so hard to make. Why would you break the glass when you could just add concrete, make it stronger? You saved everyone. A few white lies here and there just keep this future safe.
And you know this Satoru. If you told him, he'd carry that burden with you like the soldier he was. You don't want him to do that. You don't want him to have the same look you see in your own face. One last sacrifice.
When you come back, Satoru is shifting in his seat, uncrossing his legs.
“So...about that dance?”
“Ugh, fine.” You stand up. “One dance. And if you do anything embarrassing, I’m leaving.”
“Clearly, you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” He grins, standing up himself.
He doesn’t release your hand for the rest of the night.
You don’t mind.
(When you disappear again, Maki’s the one who finds you.
By then, it’d been long into the night. Shoko and Suguru were already gone, off to their honeymoon in the Maldives. Riko, Misato, and most of the students were sleeping off the night. Maki, his most diligent student, was helping the remaining adults pack up the venue.
She’s dragging chairs away when she grunts in Satoru’ direction.
“By the way, your date’s sleeping outside.”
Ah, you were on the balcony. No wonder he couldn’t find you. Satoru needed to do something about your cursed energy. What’s the point of having six eyes when he can’t even find the one person who’s evaded him for a decade?
You’ve completely passed out. Slumped over on a chair, head bent at an angle that could not be comfortable. Satoru knows he should feel bad. He dragged you around the entire night like a ragdoll. This was partially his fault.
He can’t really blame himself, not when you were finally here.
It still feels like a dream. Being able to hear your voice, not Suguru’s, not Yu’s. Your touch. Your eyes. Your face. Your laugh. For years, he’s wondered what it sounded like.
Reality beat even his perfect daydreams.
Seeing you up there on the Tokyo Skytree. The wind pushing your hair back and forth. It was breathtaking.
Even the lights of Tokyo, couldn’t compare to you.
He leans down, lips at your ear, voice low because he’s too prideful to let anyone else hear, not even you.
“I know it’s too late, but you looked really pretty tonight.”
You say nothing, but you shift, murmur something in your sleep. It’s all he needs.
He ditches the clean up party, taking you within his arms. He thinks he says something to Yu, but Satoru doesn’t really care if he heard. Right now, he only has one priority.
Tonight, he’ll sleep on the hotel’s pull-out sofa while you snooze in the luxurious queen-sized bed. You’ll probably be mad in the morning, something about how you should’ve taken the couch, but he doesn’t mind your mindless acts of selflessness.
He’s waited a decade. He deserves to keep you.
And he knows you won’t fault him for being selfish one more time.)
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#slight yandere gojo#butnotrlly#time travel fix it#time travel#unrequited feelings#temporarily unrequited feelings#maybe#x reader#jjk fluff#just a bunch of closure rlly
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you gotta look out for the quiet ones | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem musician!reader
a surprise appearance from y/n in the formula one paddock raises some questions, but the rumour mill will never guess who she's there to see...
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
note: olivia rodrigo is the face claim but i'll be pulling from her music as well as taylor swift!
f1
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 2,439,677 others
tagged: yourusername
f1: there's paddock guests and there's paddock guests, y/n y/ln is here for the bahrain grand prix!
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user1: MOTHER WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
user2: this is not what i expected to see this friday morning
user3: okay i've only ever heard of y/n y/ln through others but like she must be dedicated to be there for friday as well
user4: certified y/n superfan here! y/n has always said she's a massive fan of f1 - she hasn't been asked about it recently but when she was last asked about it she said she grew up loving jenson button!
jensonbutton: @yourusername i see you have amazing taste
yourusername: how could i not love the playboy of f1?
user3: okay she knows what she's talking about, i guess it's time to have a little listen to her music
user5: okay so what garage is she going to be in?
user6: ferrari 🤞🏻
user7: did we not just see this ^^^ she's clearly going to be in the mclaren garage
user8: if she has any sense she'll be in the mercedes garage with sir lewis hamilton
user9: what about the literal world champions?
user10: shut the fuck up (i would like to see max blush and stutter tho)
user11: i love how y/n said she's taking a year off of music after her tour and we're immediately seeing her here, there and everywhere
user12: living her true sports nerd life and i love that for her
landonorris: i promise that mclaren have the best hospitality xx
user13: oh brother are we about to see some lando norris snapchat u up flirting?
alexalbon: this is tragic
georgerussell63: make sure you don't tell her about the massive poster you had of her that you practiced kissing on!
georgerussell63: whoops!
landonorris: i am in your walls george
user14: well.. that was something, i don't think we'll see her in the mclaren garage anytime soon now
logansargeant: @oscarpiastri i hope you brought your vinyl to be signed
oscarpiastri: i didn't want to risk it on the plane, it's limited edition 😔
user15: wait so oscar is also a y/n fan ???
user16: not this mclaren battle for y/n's attention
user17: lets be real, there's no competition here - there's no way she wouldn't choose lando
user18: i'm tired of you people sleeping on oscar (pun intended)
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 21,309,784 others
yourusername: i had so much fun the first time round, i thought i'd come by again
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user25: okayyyy i thought the girlies on twitter were delusional but the second race in a row ... i fear there's another incentive
user26: once again, she's been a massive fan of the sport and has a ton of disposable money why wouldn't she go to a load of races?
landonorris: can't wait to see you again this weekend, i'll get you that win i promised
alexalbon: nurse he's talking to himself again
georgerussell63: this is crazy thirsting to do in front of 21 million people
landonorris: i assure you i'll be the one with the last laugh here
maxverstappen1: sure you will buddy, it's good to see you so confident
user27: are they gentle parenting lando?
user28: bro is about to get his heart broken they're actually being good friends
user29: idk i think he's still the one in the paddock with the best shot
user30: i gotta get this delusion all lando fans seem to have
carlossainz55: i think you'd look great in red ❤️
charles_leclerc: oh gosh....
carlossainz55: they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason, just sit back and watch the magic
maxverstappen1: you fucking morons do realise you're proclaiming this in a PUBLIC instagram comment section that everyone INCLUDING y/n can see?
user31: this is a mess ... keep going!
oscarpiastri: i celebrated my win here in 2021 with the release of sour - i know you're on a sabbatical but any chance of a surprise single?
user32: yall getting on lando and carlos for their bad flirting when oscar is stinking up the gaff with his attempts
yourusername: i'm so sorry to tell you this but no surprise single, but i can show you some demos?
oscarpiastri: please, please, please! good 4 u is my scream in the car song
user33: i just know oscar was streaming traitor when his DRS failed for the ten billionth time
oscarpiastri: it went platinum in my car yes
yourusername: i imagine it's even better at 200mph
oscarpiastri: i'd be happy to show you anytime
yourusername: carpool karaoke x hot laps when?
oscarpiastri: name a time and i'm there
user34: why is oscar trying so hard bro she's not going to choose you
user35: and yet he's the only one she replied to ... makes you think
user36: you guys are miserable because i'd literally do anything to see them singing in a car together
oscarpiastri
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 832,988 others
oscarpiastri: jeddah you were okay i guess
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user37: holy soft launch
user38: and right after flirting up a storm with Y/N Y/LN
user39: first of all, oscar is a fan of y/n so it could've definitely been from a platonic point of view
user40: it has to be platonic cause bro had no chance to start with and has a gf ???
landonorris: i'm sorry what is this ?
oscarpiastri: an instagram post, would hope you would know what that is if you're already on the app
landonorris: don't get smart with me mister
oscarpiastri: you got smart first 🤨
landonorris: what happened to my sweet rookie?
oscarpiastri: he's still 23 years old ?
landonorris: i need to meet this mystery woman who has seemed to give you all this sass
user41: prema girlies know that this sass has always been here
user42: but i'm glad it's coming out in f1
yourusername: okay i guess? you slayed mr piastri and i won't hear anything less than that
oscarpiastri: okay it was a bit of a slay
yourusername: a bit?
oscarpiastri: a big slay then
yourusername: stop talking down on yourself otherwise you'll have me to deal with
oscarpiastri: that is not the threat you think it is
yourusername: it's not a threat it's a promise x
user43: excuse me what the fuck was that ^
user44: i can't tell if they're flirting or if y/n just feels sorry for him?
user45: they did get coffee like once this weekend so maybe they're just friends
user46: they have to be because there's no way that is y/n in this soft launch
user47: there's no way oscar piastri could woo the y/n y/ln idk why people are even suggesting it
user48: and i think even flirting with her is a bit weird considering his teammate has made it so obvious he likes her
user49: oscar doesn't seem to be the type to step on toes but we'll see
logansargeant: if that's who i think it is i am going to fight you for not telling me straight up
oscarpiastri: i'll meet you in the parking lot i guess
logansargeant: be there or be square
user50: what does logan know that we don't ???
f1tea
liked by user52, user53 and 11,209 others
f1tea: now she's attended THREE races in a row, i think it's okay to start the conversation about her being with one of the drivers... so here's our theories!
lando: he's been on this train the longest and has the old thirst tweets to back it up. he's been spotted talking to her numerous times at races and has been camping in her comment section since bahrain
carlos: he has also been in her comments since bahrain and has been seen with her in the paddock - less than lando but y/n has worn red a couple times in the paddock so??
lewis: y/n was blushing up a storm when they were spotted together and i honestly think if the age gap wasn't so big they would be so cute together
liam: an outside shout but this guy was stuck to her side the whole time she was at red bull
charles: they have spoken a lot in the paddock, i don't think it's him but omg imagine them together
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user54: not this oscar erasure - i.e. the only driver she's actually interacted with online
user55: if it's oscar i will literally streak across the track at the next race
user56: admin snuck liam in there like we wouldn't notice
user57: idk why they think that liam is a better shout than oscar
user58: i think all the fangirling from oscar defo put him straight into the friend zone
user59: idk about you guys but i've actually listened to y/n's music and her album after her last breakup suggests that she might like someone who appreciates her craft and publicly supports her
user60: yeah but she also deserves a boyfriend that's on her level
user61: oscar is a literal f1 driver?
user60: yeah but he's not cute enough
user62: to YOU
user63: omg just say you have no taste and bounce gosh
user64: how did lando become a frontrunner in this?
user65: i think because he's liked her the longest? and has been the most insistent
user66: i hate to say this but just because you like someone and said it first, does not mean you are entitled to actually date them
user67: i will laugh my ass off if she's not with any of these fools
user68: bro took a year off of music to have some fun and now is linked to everyone and their mum
user69: unfortunately this is the way it goes although if she does become a wag (tho be real, whoever is with her is the wag) i shall be enjoying her paddock outfits
user70: carlos vs oscar i think i've seen this film before
user71: oh trust me off track there is no competition
user72: you people are so mean
user73: oscar will win again, mark my words. i'm not sure if carlos can cry to the fia about that tho
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 23,874,093 others
yourusername: getting the real aussie experience down under
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user74: AHHHHHHHHHH A MAN
user75: who the fuck wears jeans on a hammock she needs to run away from this man he's clearly a psychopath
maxverstappen1: you went to see quokkas without me??? does our friendship mean nothing ???
yourusername: it's not considered normal to invite friends to a date
maxverstappen1: boring. i will remember this when you try and get some red bull from our hospitality
yourusername: nO PLEASE
maxverstappen1: no, for this you must suffer through the piss they put in monster cans
this comment was deleted
maxverstappen1: well you should've thought more of our friendship :P
yourusername: you are impossible. no more limited edition merch for you
maxverstappen1: WHAT
user76: for all this love life speculation i am loving this max and y/n friendship
user77: but... the monster comment... it has to be lando right? monster sponsor mclaren
user78: i think this is the most confirmation we're getting right now
user79: they're so cute
oscarpiastri: i am glad the homeland is treating you well :)
yourusername: i've only had one scary insect encounter so win!
oscarpiastri: we'll have to get you some real australian delicacies this weekend
yourusername: i've heard of grandma's baking so i'm excited!
oscarpiastri: we've got a tupperware box with your name on it
yourusername: ugh i love you guys
user80: the monster comment pointed to mclaren but there's only one of them in the comments...
user81: i mean this is a soft launch so it would make sense that lando wouldn't comment if they're trying to throw people off of their scent
user82: the mental gymnastics you people are doing is insane
user83: literally just admit that your driver just doesn't have the sauce like that
user84: and oscar piastri does???
user85: STOP SLEEPING ON HIM HE'S LITERALLY GETTING HER HOME-BAKED GOODS
oscarpiastri
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,349,761 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: home win means more than you could ever know. and you can stop theorising now, i may be a nerd but i've still got game.
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user89: HHAHHHAHHAHAHAHHA THAT'S MY AUSSIE
user90: stunting his stunning gf on all these delusional fangirls
yourusername: now i can finally say it: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU
yourusername: and i'm proud of you
yourusername: forever and always
oscarpiastri: maybe i was so fast because i knew there was a literal angel waiting for me back in my garage
yourusername: oh so the other races i came to i just didn't look good enough for you to win :(
oscarpiastri: NO NO NO you're always the most beautiful woman in any room
oscarpiastri: but this time you're wearing my jersey and my name
yourusername: i guess i'll never take it off again
oscarpiastri: you might not take it off, but that doesn't mean i won't
yourusername: ehhhehehhehheeh hurry up in debrief :P
user91: oscar piastri i am so sorry i was not familiar with your game
user92: i for one had complete faith in that bumbling fool
yourusername: as you should, he may have stuttered through the lines, but he's one smooth operator
carlossainz55: that's my nickname? please stop rubbing salt in the wound
yourusername: it was better than your attempts. and better than whatever the fuck you've been doing on the track - keep your dumptruck away from oscar
user93: y/n defending oscar, consider me moved
user94: okay fave celeb couple just dropped
landonorris: HOW LONG HAS THIS BEING GOING ON? HOW LONG HAVE YOU LET ME FLIRT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND? HOW DID I LOSE TO YOU?
yourusername: watch your tone.
landonorris: sorry???
oscarpiastri: we've been together nearly a year. i didn't 'let' you flirt with my girlfriend i tried to tell you but you ignored me at every turn. you didn't lose to me, there was never any competition.
yourusername: best year of my life 🫶 and lando i tried to tell you, maybe listen to oscar for once 😭
oscarpiastri: awwwwww i love you 😘
yourusername: i love you too osc xx
user95: not them dancing on lando's dead body 😭
logansargeant: I FUCKING KNEW IT YOU SON OF A BITCH
oscarpiastri: never doubt me again eagle boy
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 35,609, 451 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: if you saw me ugly crying on live tv - no you didn't. i'm so proud of you osc, my beautiful boy.
view all comments
user96: i think y/n was all of us
user97: absolutely screaming at all of the y/n fans on twitter having a meltdown and trying to figure out how f1 works
user98: this was me, am i really going to learn about tyre compounds because y/n is dating a driver? yes!
maxverstappen1: i am very happy for you both but enjoy the win while it lasts oscar i have a score to settle after being ABANDONED on the quokka date
yourusername: once again it was a DATE which is for the two people in the relationship, not the weird third guy with attachment issues
maxverstappen1: well jokes on you i do have attachment issues and now i've latched onto you and oscar which means you're contractually obligated to come to every race now
yourusername: ok?
oscarpiastri: it's okay max with our combined powers, y/n will have to stick around she hates making us sad
yourusername: it's true :(
user99: not lando fumbling yet another lead
yourusername: he never had a chance to begin with
oscarpiastri: 😆
user100: this is another level of teammate psychological warfare
landonorris: i am a victim of a smear campaign
oscarpiastri: smear campaign being you flirting with my girlfriend after she told you she had a boyfriend
landonorris: I DIDN'T HEAR HER
yourusername: i said it multiple times 🤨 and SOFT LAUNCHED OSCAR AND YOU STILL TRIED
georgerussell63: looks like it's back to the poster now lando
yourusername: and for the record ^^ this is very creepy
landonorris: THAT WAS LIKE TEN YEARS AGO
alexalbon: that's what you want us to think ...
user101: i am screaming at them rubbing it in lando's face
user102: kind of deserved LOL but funny nonetheless
oscarpiastri: all things aside, i'm so glad you could be there for my first win! i love you so much and can't wait to spend there rest of my life with you, even if it means my teammate flirts with you everyday
yourusername: i love you too osc, i'm sure you'll win so many more
oscarpiastri: i'm counting on it ;)
landonorris: I AM SORRY HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT
yourusername: you gonna let oscar have the upgrades first?
landonorris: no?
yourusername: then i will guilt you at every corner 🤨
fin. i know, i know. guilty as sin is coming but i just wanted to get this out. i had to come home from silverstone early cause of a mechanical dnf (foot stopped working and had heat stroke and a cold at the same time). but i had a great time while i was there and met a load of drivers with lando and alex signing my hat !!!!!
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1#oscar piastri instagram au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri social media au
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