#I'm just really proud of it even if it's not the best
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As someone who was a 13 yr old Brit in 2005 I had a visceral reaction to seeing each and every one of these tracks.
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My friend at school was obsessed with X Factor at the time and had a massive crush on this guy. I never got the appeal and I wonder if that's why our friendship died.
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Look, we all did it. Played around with our Nokia 1110 ringtones and jokingly set this up. I don't know why we have to be all defensive about it. Whilst I miss the custom ringtone era, I'm glad this villain died off with his annoying "Baa aramba baa bom baa barooumba..."
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I'm not saying we were, but as a tween listening to PCD you felt so grown up and dare I say 'sexy' as you showed off you bedroom choreography at the local SNAP disco. We weren't of course. We were children. But that didn't stop us performing mildly risqué moves in our New Look party outfits.
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I voted for this one because even 20 years later, I can still bop along to this without feeling like I've gone back in time. It's timeless. And one of the best charity singles to come out of the noughties.
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Nope. Can't stand that fucking chipmunk singing. Hate this with a firey passion and I'm annoyed to be reminded this exists.
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I'm not proud to admit this, but before this song came out I had no idea who Madonna was. So all I knew about the supposed queen of pop was she was a ~50 something prancing around in a skimpy leotard. I've since learnt the error of my ways and come to appreciate her contribution to music, but this song will forever be 'meh'.
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So I had to check Wikipedia on this because apparently this was Westlife's 1st single without my beloved Brian. I remember the tragic heartbreak only a tween girl can experience when their favourite in a boy band decides to leave, so although this song is remarkable I probably wasn't vibing it as much as I might have 2 years prior.
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Another 'let me try and be sexy' song that was probably inappropriate for someone not even in puberty yet. I never did get why they each wore such a ridiculous outfit to presumably their office?! You can still flirt over the fax machine without needing to be in just your pants Mutya!
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This was a viral music video before going viral was really a thing. I must have watched this silly billboard graffiti a hundred times. The song itself was alright, more akin to Ironic Alanis in vibes, but I know I watched this on repeat for the 'will they, won't they' story.
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"I'm Luke, I'm 5 and my dad's Bruce Lee". I nearly picked this in the poll, but let's be honest I haven't got it on any Spotify playlist (unlike McFly). The cartoon music video was so cute and the song itself is really sweet. Haven't listened to it in ages but I might sing it to myself if I ever come across a yellow digger blocking traffic.
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I had to look this one up tbh. I like the Gorillaz, I do, but their songs aren't exactly recognisable from name alone. Once I hit play though, it all came flooding back and I'm not mad the Americans have made this sweep the poll, despite it being quite niche for a British audience.
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Will Smith was still doing music in 2005? Really?! Wow, did not remeber that at all! Having said that, I do know this song, I just assumed it was older. But nope, that music video is straight outta 2005 fo' shizzle!
i desperately want to do one of those “pick a song that’s turning 20 in 2025” polls but instead of all the songs being chosen to appeal directly to american tumblr users who had an emo phase i will take them, with bare minimum selectivity or curation, from the uk official year end charts so that everybody has to choose between shayne ward and the crazy frog song
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aplaceforhumancorpses · 1 day ago
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🍵༘PANCAKES🥯⊹ ࣪ ˖
„⤵ MILD ANGST and fluff! „⤵ 2 / (?) PARTS „⤵ JASON TODD X READER Jason is getting settled in his new home, after showing up at your door last night. Jason is a dead man walking, but he still needs you. Read PT 1 here! AFFECTION ROTS Reblogs much appreciated
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The two of you eventually found the couch. You sat next to him, putting a throw pillow's distance between the two of you. Much to his disappointment. Jason was more clingy then he had ever been before. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. A few hours passed. You had both fallen asleep sometime after midnight. That morning he explained everything as best as he could to you, his death at the hands of the joker, the crowbar, the ressurection. Despite the granted confusion you followed as best you could. He told you everything. Everything that happened from the moment he died. He really missed you, despite the two of you being dumb in love teeangers. He still saw a future with you, and you were wary to admit you weren't sure you saw the same. He was diffrerent. Bigger, taller, stronger. And somehow more alive, than anything before. “I'm sorry." You managed to say. You felt like such a coward. You couldn't handle touching him, or holding his hand.
“I can't blame you. It'll take some time." He said sadly. You could see in his eyes that he was blaming himself. "You're doing great… I really am proud of you. Just wish we could've done all this… together, y'know?" he said the last part quietly, almost a whisper. You looked down, unable to hold eye contact.
"Things are a little bit different now. You know that right? I can't change my past. Even though I'd like to." You spoke slowly. "You know, it's gonna take some time. I don't regret our relationship. Never have."
”You're serious, huh?" he raised an eyebrow. It was nearly commical. You were devestating him with every word you spoke. "I wanted us to do this forever, you know? Like… forever. You've always been on my mind.. guess I should've known things weren't gonna stay the same. You're not fifteen anymore.." he mumbled.
He had a faraway look in his eye. You wondered how much of this story he had clearly made up inside his mind depended on you reciprocating his tender feelings. But you knew this was his way of trying to comfort you, despite his broken soul. He would give you time… "Do you remember our first date?" He suddenly asked. He smiled shyly, looking down at his lap. The image came unbidden to your mind, vivid and perfect. You remembered how much effort he put into planning. He was more thorough then any man. He was attentive, and a good listener. So why were you hesitant..? Maybe it was his dependency. “Um. Yes I remember- Um.. do you want breakfast?.." You said weakly, standing up and turning towards the kitchen, leaving him to his own thoughts. "I can make us something quick…" You heard him sigh in disappointment. When you finally turned around again, his elbows were on his knees. He was curled into himself. You knew he was trying to be strong. But it was hard to admire his strengths when he looked so pitiful.. It broke your heart. "I'm making pancakes.. Do you want some? They're grainy but- edible." You offered hesitantly.
“Yeah.. sounds good.” His voice cracked. He didn’t have a good relationship with food. After the truama of his death and even before that with the joker, he hadn’t been hungry at all. He never wanted food.. and when he did it threw it up promptly. Food always felt unsafe to him. And that included food cooked by you.. which seemed ironic, because he would have worshipped the ground beneath you if you asked him to.
He wondered if he watched the whole process of cooking from start to finish if he would feel better about it. He could trick his brain into understanding he was safe.
“God you’re so gorgeous..” He sighed. “I’m tired of falling for you all over again… s’not fair. Why can’t I have you?” You paused, setting the pan on the stove as it heated up. Melting the butter into a bubbly golden liquid. There was no denying he had changed a lot. He went from 4”6 to an even 6 foot. You could see the stretch marks that painted his hips whenever he lifted his arms up. Despite your ‘disinterest’ in him romantically, you would still take small peeks and glances whenever his shirt rode up, revealing some of the new muscle he had gained.
His sudden growth wasn’t unwelcome, it was just shocking that he had grown that much within the span of a few years. Especially considering he had always been smaller than you.
But you had accepted his advances with only halfhearted interest. Even if he was a handsome behemoth of a man today. But it was hard to deny the fact that when he looked at you like he did now, you felt a lingering warmth.
He hadn’t lost his charm. He still knew how to make you blush and smile. But maybe you were too afraid of losing what you shared with him.. again..
As you began making the pancake mix he kept his gaze trained on you and the food. He was obviously enthralled with it.. “I like strawberries.” He smiled softly, watching you work through the recipe. He’d always loved watching you cook. It reminded him of home.. it was vaguely reminiscent of Alfred. Even if he hated the Waynes he still missed having a family. “They remind me of you.” He continued. “Those soft, shiny pinkish red ones…” You nodded along to his words. He was always so sentimental.. “They smell like spring.” He added, smiling slightly. You felt yourself relax at his words. He could be sweet sometimes, despite the fact he was now, 10x his size, strength, and power. He was probably better at a lot of things now, you didn’t want to know what he would do to any of the failed relationships you had in your contacts still... But it was clear he still had that innocent side that you once loved. Jason was like weathered plastic in the garden, his old self was fading, but the spots where the sunlight hadn’t burned away the old Jason todd were still as vibrant and tender as ever. He seemed happier than usual too. His cheeks had begun to lighten up again, his skin seemed to glow from just having seen you again.
The food was ready, and you brought him over to the table. “I’m not an amazing cook, but I hope it’s okay….” You handed him the fork. He was silent for a while, staring at the plate in front of him.
“I uh.. I’m usually not so good with food but this does look really good I promise. It feels like I constantly have the flu. My mind is all fucking broken.."
"You deserve a break." You said, sitting opposite of him across the table. Your fingers intertwined tightly with your own beneath the table, under the table. You tried to suppress your nerves. He needed comfort and support now, you couldn't give him more. "You're here.. With me.. That's something." You said, trying to encourage him.
“I still want you. So bad..” He mumbled. His fork clinked against his plate as he set it down gently. You took a deep breath. You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t ready to talk about your problem with the matter of your relationship. You just wanted him to eat, and try to get better..
“Jason-“ You warned.
“Do you still love me?” He interrupted. He was trying to sound calm, but he was clearly agitated. The question threw you off guard. He looked at you with wide, desperate eyes. “Answer honestly. I need to know.” You hesitated.
“Yes.” You answered truthfully, not able to hide the hurt on your face.
“You don’t even want to touch me…” he muttered dejectedly.
“You died- I was at your funeral.. I don’t understand how your here right now..” you said firmly. “I’m just… confused, ok? I thought I understood everything..” You were trembling. You knew he saw, he understood. You didn’t know how to deal with the guilt gnawing at your stomach.. You hated seeing him this upset. “I miss you..” he whispered, staring at you with pleading eyes.
You lowered your gaze and shook your head. “I’m sorry- you.. Do you have a place to stay?..”
“Are you kicking me out?..”
“Well no- but I feel bad for making you sleep on the couch.” You explained. “You’ve done nothing wrong.. I’m sorry… do you want to stay?”
He remained silent and slowly ate the food placed in front of him. His lips forming into a thin line. He looked exhausted. But he was eating the meal you had made, albeit reluctantly and very slowly. It took him about 20 minutes, as he finished every bite without looking up or saying a word.
“Yeah. I want to stay here for a bit.” He replied after he finished chewing. You nodded, relieved. He pushed back the chair and stood up. He looked exhausted.
“I’ll get you some blankets.” You said quietly, walking back to your room to bring some out to him. While searching your closet, you heard soft footsteps behind you. Your body froze for a split second. Just Jason.. Just Jason…. Then you relaxed. You pulled out two fluffy blankets. You walked back towards him, throwing them over his shoulders. He let out a content sigh at the warmth. “It smells like you…” he mused. He looked so at peace. Like you had injected life into him for the first time since he got here.
He grabbed one pillow from your bed and squeezed it. He closed his eyes, feeling the soft material against his skin. You couldn’t help but smile softly. He looked at you like you hung the moon in the sky. A sense of wonder and relief washing over his features. He turned to the doorway, making his way to the living room.
The television flickered dimly on your TV stand. Your DVD’s stacked high, mostly disney and other classics. “I love you so much..” he murmured, looking around your home.
“I…” You paused. “Know.. you do..” you trailed off, not knowing how else to respond. It felt weird hearing those words come from him. You spent nights hoping to hear those exact words just.. one more time. Hearing them now..
“Where were you?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from the overwhelming guilt weighing down your chest.
“Oh y’know…” He shrugged. “Just…” he laughed awkwardly before sitting down on the couch. “Just running around doing shit. Nothing serious.” He admitted. “But I was able to find you eventually. I actually used to sit in the parking lot and stare at your apartment door, waiting for you to open it..” he looked embarrassed to admit that, scratching the side of his jaw. You chuckled lightly at that image. “You should have seen it, though! I sat there until my legs went numb and then I finally decided to walk away because I felt kinda creepy sitting there watching like that..” He grinned, remembering how pathetic and childish it sounded. “But, I had to see you last night. I had to talk to you... See how you were...” He said, sadly. “God…I’m really messed up.” He sighed, dropping his gaze onto the floor. You frowned as you noticed his mood swing.
“I missed you too-… I’m glad you’re back, and I’m sorry I’m being so cold.” You apologised.
He gave you an understanding glance, “you can be pretty difficult to read these days.. I just.. I hope you can understand my intentions. I still want you.”
“Night Jay.” You stood up, attempting to run away from the topic. “I have class in the morning. I gotta get some sleep. I have a presentation coming up.” You walked towards the bedroom, but stopped. You didn’t want to leave him alone yet. What happened wasn’t fair. “I’ll be back around 12 or so.. tomorrow.”
“Goodnight baby.” He sighed, laying down on the couch. You smiled at his nickname.
He stayed sleeping in his makeshift bed the whole evening, until 4 am or so when he slipped out from the blankets and into your room. He was just getting up to check on you, but eventually it became him… getting a closer look.. getting in bed. and passing out next to you. These blankets were big enough to cover him completely, no cold feet. There was barely any distance between you.
“Night..” he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. He laid down facing away from you, but in his mind he was holding you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you. ...
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sports-on-sundays · 1 day ago
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Hello!! I know the requests are closed, but when you can, could you write one about Pau Cubarsí having a girlfriend who races in the Formula 1 Academy or even other training categories. I really like your writing, it's very creative. Thanks!!
racer girl / Pau Cubarsí
Summary: Pau x Formula 1 Academy driver!girlfriend!reader - Pau is always there to cheer on his racing girlfriend.
Requested?: Yep! Thank you very much! Also, I really appreciate you saying my writing is creative; sometimes I don't feel like it is so I feel very encouraged to have someone say that! 😊
Author's Note: I didn't say it anywhere in here but it's basically implied that this is the reader's first race win!
After the best qualifying of your life, your entire body seems to be pumping with pure adrenaline, even long after you're out of the car and are now in the garage.
And if you thought things couldn't get any better, they do as soon as you feel your boyfriend's arms wrap around you from behind, and his proud voice exclaim, "Y/n! That was insane!"
You immediately start giggling and turn around to face him, saying with a little sigh as you use a towel to wipe a bit more of the sweat off your face, "I just don't know how I did it..."
Pau grins, saying softly, "I know how you did it."
You raise your eyebrows.
"An amazing driver like you isn't the kind to let a bad start set off your weekend." His smile softens a bit. "That's just one of the reasons why I feel so proud to call an amazing driver like that my girlfriend, too."
You grin, nodding, before settling down on one of the stools in the garage and saying with a little sigh, "It's just... this week has been so hard. With first, feeling sick at the beginning of the week, and then having two terrible free practice sessions... God, it's just been a lot."
Pau nods, gently resting his hand on your shoulder. "I know... But you were able to break through that. I'm so proud of you." He smiles, kissing the top of your head gently.
You let out a little sigh, glancing up to him. "Now let's just hope things go well for the rest of the weekend in the races."
He smiles. "I know you'll put your all into it. I believe in you." With that, he sits down by you in another chair in the garage, saying simply, "And just focus on the first race right now. After you win that one, then you can worry about the next one."
You smile softly, nodding a bit, though looking down at your hands clasped around your towel. "Yeah, you're right," you say with a little laugh. "One step at a time, right?"
He grins. "That's what you always seem to tell me when I'm too worried or too hard on myself in my sport. It goes the same for you, in yours."
"I guess, it's just... you know, you've been able to come this weekend. I'd hate to end this great start with some sort of terrible flunk."
"Oh, raise your eyes," he says gently, reaching over to place his hand on your shoulder again. "You'll do great. And I'll be proud of you whether you win both races or DNF both or anything in between. Because I'm impressed you do any of this at all. And I know that you put your everything into every single drive."
You smile softly, nodding. "Once again, you're right."
He nods, squeezing your shoulder. "Just as long as you're just as confident in yourself as I am in you, hm?"
Your soft smile shifts into a more determined grin as you nod, saying, "Oh, Pau, trust me."
And he just beams, exclaiming, "There you are! That's my racer girl!"
The moment Pau watches you spin out in the race, the first thing he feels is likely a much more dumbed-down devastation than what you must be feeling right now. And the next thing he feels is guilt.
Yesterday, he spent all that time reassuring you and telling you, essentially, you could and would win the race, and here you are, with your car in the barriers.
Before the race, you were so pumped, ready to do whatever it would take to stand on the top of the podium by the end of it and feel the pride swell within you to do so.
Now, as Pau watches you get out of the car, the emotion cuts in him to see your devastated figure walk off the track.
When you enter the garage with your helmet still on and your visor still down, Pau goes to you, trying to talk, or help, or something.
But you walk straight past him, ignoring his grab for your arm and even pushing him away a bit.
It has nothing to do with him. Of course you're not blaming him, or anywhere near being mad at him. You're mad at yourself, and the situation, and simply desperately need some time to cool off. Alone.
But Pau doesn't know that, and sits around with his head aching and his heart pounding for the longest time, in worry for you and regret for whatever he thinks he's accidentally done wrong.
After much too long for Pau's liking, though, you come wandering to find him, and as soon as you do, you say, your voice still tender, "Hey, Pau..."
"Listen, I'm sorry-"
But you look at him with such a look of shock and confusion that he stops talking mid-sentence. "What on earth have you got to be sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong! It was me who pushed you away without explaining!"
"O- Oh," your boyfriend says softly as he realises, quite honestly, just how extremely stuck in his own head he was. "Y/n, you don't have to worry about that..."
"I should have explained I just needed some time alone. I'm sorry."
His eyes grow more tender. "Hey. It's okay. I understand it completely."
You sigh, nodding, looking down. And somehow, seeing that crestfallen expression all over your face, Pau can't help but pull you into his arms.
You sigh again, deeper. "I screwed it up. One of my best chances of the entire season for a win, probably."
"Y/n, it happens. And the only thing that's going to keep that as your one and only best chance is the mindset that it was. This is only the beginning of the season. You have plenty more races and weekends to go to prove that different, including the race tomorrow."
You sniff. "I guess I've just had such rotten luck all week, and I thought maybe things were actually about to look good for me, and get better, but it just turns out in the end it all got screwed over anyway."
He sighs, stroking your hair. "I know. I know."
He holds you in his arms for a while in silence, just like you do with him after a tough football match, until you've had some more time to think and let the cut scab over, and he says gently, rubbing your back, "There's always tomorrow. And after that, there's always the next race week. I know it's a big bump in the road, and I know it will be tough, but I also know you're an overcomer, right?"
You nod slowly. "Yeah... I know. I know you're right."
He kisses your scalp before saying into your hair, "I want you to know, I'm proud of you. This happened, and it's tough, but you're dealing with it really well. And I'll be proud of you again when you get a better result tomorrow."
"But what if I don't?"
"We both know you can't entertain thoughts like that. I know you can, and you know it too. If I can have so much faith in you, don't you ought to have just as much, if not more, faith in yourself, in order to succeed?"
You sigh shakily, leaning away from him, your back strengthening. "I've got to leave the past in the past and press on to tomorrow. You're right." You stand up, and he understands you have to go now, for your other duties with the team. But it's then that you add, "Just as long as we can cuddle tonight, to help me feel ready for tomorrow?"
Pau beams like a boy on Christmas morning. "Of course, Y/n. And I can't wait for that, too."
After waking up this morning in Pau's arms and having him deliver a caring, gentle pep talk in the sweetest of tones before your freezing cold shower, you felt ready for this day. Ready to conquer it, ready to win. Ready to prove to yourself you can do it, because at this point, to you, whatever anyone else thinks really doesn't matter at all.
But of course right now, that is the very last thing on your mind. In fact, you have absolutely nothing on your mind right now.
Because a strange phenomenon that you've found, at least with yourself, that is, is that when you're feeling such an incredible amount of intense emotion, which it be good or bad, or even a mix, there comes a point when there's so much of it that there's absolutely no space left in your head to even think thoughts, and instead, at least in the case of this situation, the only proper reaction you can find in response to what you're feeling is to turn on your radio and squeal at the top of your lungs into it in your car as you fly past the chequered flag before every single other car on the track.
Because you have just won the race.
It's absolutely unbelievable, that for some reason, there, in the car, you begin to cry, just a little. Maybe just a few stray tears.
But the most glorious part of it is that when you thought you couldn't do it, in the end, you did. You did it for yourself, to yourself, and proved your negative thoughts and misfortune throughout the week to be completely, utterly wrong.
And as you make your way to the top step and stand on it proudly, you're soaring, and you're absolutely positive that this simply must be the best moment of it all.
But then you think that all the hugs and congratulations from everyone around who supports you no matter what must be the best part of it.
But you're only met with truly the best part of it all when your eyes set upon the adoring eyes of your boyfriend. It's then that you fly, that your pounding heart truly swells with the pride, the realization, the glory of it all.
And then his strong arms envelop you, and he kisses you all over and says so many lovely, perfect, amazing things to you, but somehow, it's one phrase that really sticks with you in the end:
"See what happens when you simply believe? Why, Y/n, it's then that we have the strength to move mountains."
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velvetvexations · 3 days ago
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i wanna say this is not said in anger or an attempt to say nonbinary people are privileged over binary trans people, thats certainly not the case, im just here to state my thoughts. the "binary trans people having the resources and genes to pass perfectly to match a changed gender marker in the eyes of cis society affords privilege to binary trans people" is disturbingly reminiscent of "if trans men pass perfectly they get cis male social privilege meaning trans men are oppressors" and ignores it for what it is - conditional hyperspecific privilege that a grand majority of binary trans people will not be able to access. it largely depends on where you live, access to hrt, and access to gender marker changes - being able to change one but not others(extremely common) is an instant out no matter how cis you appear.
as for spaces being less understanding of nonbinary people, i believe thats also a vary-by-location thing. ive been iced out of friend groups for being gnc and not wanting to id as nonbinary. ive been to trans groups and a trans event that was geared for trans women and nonbinary people without advertising that fact. seeking out community irl in the previous two states ive lived has left me usually the only binary trans man, and isolated and shoved aside for it.
it also inherently implies binary trans people's goals are to assimilate perfectly into cishetero society which is also rarely ever the case. and when we don't, we're punished for it by both cis and trans people. binary as an identity does not mean upholding the gender binary, like any other its a personal identity term, typically just meaning "a man" or "a woman". the "gnc binary people(too far from the binary)" feels like its missing the point and trying to other binary people who dont wish to perfectly assimilate which again, is not the grand majority of us.
again im not saying nonbinary people are privileged as a class above us. i dont believe any trans people are privileged above any others. some of us may have specific, rare access to conditional privilege in some situations but i feel like its splitting hairs to try to afford that some tangible place to split apart trans people, who are all one messy glob of Other Freaks to cis society. ive seen so much "binary trans people are privileged because they experience X and nonbinary people experience Y" when ive been living my whole life experiencing Y. i think a lot of us subconciously invent a new gender binary thats "binary(cis assimilationists)" and "nonbinary(everyone else)" and cling to the idea that binary people could never be treated as weird outliers and freaks.
one final go of this was not said in anger to that person's ask. i genuinely mean no ill will or attempt to shutdown discussion or claim that nonbinary people are privileged instead.
Yeah, like, I'll say that I am an example of a binary trans person who does not fit very well into the binary by virtue of my identification with being male and being proud of my "male" traits, so I don't have access to most of the relative benefits. Even being called "male" and having the symbol I like so much on all my shit is not necessarily the best because that always comes with the idea that I'm also necessarily a man, which I'm not and I really do not like being tagged as.
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radioisntdead · 2 days ago
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On my knees begging for Carmilla content some day because I want to be adopted by the Latina who defied angelic immortality out of love for her family-
And you write really well and I'd love to see you interpret her.
My dear, Get off your knees for your wish has been granted!
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Mamá Carmilla Carmine headcanons
Warnings: fluff!! I did headcanons first since this is my first time writing for her [I say, lying while staring at the scrapped Oneshots of her.]I used some traits of my own Hispanic mother for her.
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A strict but loving mom for sure, if she has to drench her hands in blood to ensure her children are safe and sound, that her children are alive and breathing, she'd destroy heaven and hell if she had too.
We don't know if her daughters are adopted or biological but that doesn't matter, I see her as the type to just causally adopt a kid.
Like "You are my kid now."
All of her children are bilingual, I don't make the rules, she does.
She can and WILL start talking to you in Spanish, she'll start quizzing you on what word means what if you've started learning.
If you don't know she stares at you disappointed before telling you the word and what it means.
Duolingo Sinlingo is highly frowned upon, that little owl uses ai and its app is increasingly getting worse and worse, all of their budget is going towards marketing.
She'll get books and other language learning apps for you to learn.
I feel like she's the type to scold her children but not physically hurt them, spoons, sandals? Only for eating and wearing, respectively
Do not EAT SANDALS.
Family game nights, everyone gets competitive, your mother, your sisters and you.
Monopoly was banned by Zestial.
Your name like your sisters is possibly also after a ballet.
Speaking of ballet, you and your sisters were taught, she has recordings and pictures of the three of you dancing.
She's a very proud mother, like those are her kids!!
If you have long hair sometimes she'll brush it, maybe put it in a braid or bun, or something elaborate like her own hairdo.
She doesn't cook often but when she does it's the best fucking food ever.
I'm talking Menudo, Tamales, Pernil, Almojábanas, empanadas, etc etc
Teaches her kids to be smart and how to defend themselves.
She may not always be there to protect you, you need to protect yourself.
All kids get a goodnight kiss to the forehead before bedtime.
You get random bowls of fruit sometimes, you didn't ask for it, she didn't ask you, just eat the fruit.
Definitely a believer in hard work.
She's proud of you, and your sisters, even if she doesn't say it often.
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Broke out the fancy gravity falls headers for her, I want tamales, I haven't had them in like ages :[
PLEASE I WANT SOME PLEA-
ANYWAYS good evenin' folks! I do hope you enjoyed these! I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your night, thank you for tunin' on in!!
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reemerarius · 1 year ago
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So, I saw all the hubbub about that one actress starring in the live-action Snow White. And, long story short ages ago I wrote this. It's not the best, and I'd like to revisit it someday, but here's The Snow White Dethphonticth
I'll leave you with an excerpt, please note I started touching it up so this version and what's in the ebook might be different:
It is in due time the two wed and Snow White is nowhere to be seen. She refused to come to the wedding. It was expected, but the king apologizes to his new queen nonetheless. It would not be for a few days until Sylvia cross paths with Snow White. It would be an uneasy moment.
Snow White is taller and skinnier than Sylvia. The contrast between Snow White's pale, sickly-looking skin and void black hair was unnatural. She stands up straight at the end of the hall in a beautiful gown and no shoes, her toes poking out from under the hem of her dress. As slim as she is, her presence saturates the space. Sylvia can not get herself to move, she is not even sure if the girl was looking at her, Snow White's bangs cover her eyes. She turns from Sylvia and goes on her way. Sylvia has not realized the door she is at has opened. When she turns, there stands the king inviting her in.
“What has caused such an ill look about you, My Queen?” the king brings her to sit.
“I saw her. At the end of the hallway. Snow White, was it? I don't know how, but I'm certain it was her. She... Is she always...”
“Calm down. I apologize. She's grown fond of her games. She's just been acting out ever since her mother's death,” the king takes her hands in his.
“Yes, of course. Any child would grieve such a loss. I'll do what I can to help ease the pain.”
“Thank you. That's part of the reason I brought you in here. I want you to help Snow White to heal, to grow, to learn. No teacher wants to work with her because of her outburst. The staff will barely go near her. She doesn't want anything to do with me. She runs and hides when I go looking for her, so I've never seen this behavior myself. But everyone is complaining, so there must be something wrong. I know it's a lot to put on you all at once. But I need this, she needs this.”
“It's fine, My King. It's the queen's duty to watch over a child's schooling as is. You aren't asking too much of me at all. But, if I may ask you a question, My King?”
“Yes, by all means.”
“Who came up with her name?”
“There was an... incident in her youth,” the king tells Sylvia the story.
“No wonder she's acting out, whatever happened in those woods must have scarred her and then to lose her mother on top of that. Poor babe,” Sylvia squeezes the king's hand, hoping to leave some reassurance imprinted into them.
The next week bumbles in as clouds of dust and torn down cobwebs. The old queen's quarters are finally being cleaned out after all these years. Amidst the moving of furniture, the old queen's journal is found and brought to the king.
He pulls it out that dusk and reads into the night. Unsure of what to make of his late queen's notes, he places the notebook away. The king is not sure if the last few entries were just the ramblings of a madwoman or a warning something awful, he decides to go with the option he can wrap his logic around. He knows he needs to start being a father to Snow White again. Everything should have been fine.
The sun breaks on the horizon and he roams the castle for his daughter. He follows sightings of her, somehow she must know he is looking for her and is actively avoiding him like usual. The king hunts for her through lunch. He refuses to quit and he believes his effort rewarded. He has followed her to the last room of a slightly empty hallway. She can no longer avoid him. The king walks in on her crouching in a food pantry. The king can feel their eyes connect through Snow White's bangs.
“We really should get those cut soon. It's unbecoming of a princess to hide her face,” the king pauses as Snow White stands up, she has his height. “Listen, you know you can't keep going on like this. Everything you've been up to will be coming to an end. You will not be bringing any more chaos into my castle. Your behavior will be punished from here on out. Am I understood?”
Snow White tilts her head in thought.
It is a few days until the castle is silent. The king's hysterics had echoed through the stone walls, shaking Sylvia to the bone. There was nothing the doctors could do before he was too far gone. The king was buried in the family cemetery far back behind the castle.
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gatoplaga · 8 months ago
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"But beyond all my pain, there was you"
Narilamb designs: @runningwithscizzorz
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here's an alt version of Narinder without the veil!! :D
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spaghett-onaplate · 7 months ago
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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eggsistential-basket · 2 months ago
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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hirazuki · 4 months ago
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Re: Naruto characters I dislike -- under the cut! :)
The thing with Danzo and Tobirama is that, I get it. I might not agree with it, at all, but I get where they're coming from and, honestly, I am very much self-aware enough that, if I had lived through their same experiences, I can't say for sure that I would have done any different. Did they do terrible things? Absolutely. But, again, I can't proclaim with surety that I'd be any better. Like, I can sit here from my current seat and judge them, but experiences color perception and I'm just as susceptible to bias as everyone else is. Who knows what my outlook would be had I lived through the First and/or Second War.
The thing with Rasa and Chiyo is that, there is some resolution. It's definitely too little, too late, especially in Rasa's case, but there is growth and admittance of fault there so that, even if I don't actually like either character, the character development present in the storyline (particularly for Chiyo!) is such that it somewhat cancels my dislike out, leaving me with largely neutral feelings. I did used to have stronger feelings against them, but I suppose it's true that you mellow out with age lmao
The thing with Hiruzen and Hagoromo and Fugaku is that I neither get it, nor is there any character development or admittance/recognition of fault on their part XD
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deoidesign · 5 months ago
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happy birthday! I just wanted to let you know that I came across this account after seeing this sick horror piece of old time churches, decinding to follow the page, and then realising that it was the same artist who'd written that sick comic on time travelling werewolves and vampires which I'd lost. and they're both t4t too ! effervescent
thank you!
Honestly it is an extremely unfamiliar reality that someone could know me from multiple different things... Not sure what to do with that but I'm glad to have impacted you in small ways and I hope to continue to do so! So thanks for being here, I'm glad that fate brought us back together haha
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zukkaoru · 1 year ago
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i think. everyone should stop reading my most popular fics that aren't really that good and start reading the ones with 18 kudos that are significantly better
#this is about (just wanna be) somebody i'm proud of#yes i had fun writing it. but it's REALLY NOT THAT GOOD#also i cannot stress this enough: that fic was a fluke#it's NOT a good example of what i write. guys i'm so much better at the angsty character study fics#i promise i actually can get proper characterization. i had to sacrifice some of that for the light-hearted stupid cheesy premise#alas#no one in fandom actually cares about characterization#ngl sometimes i even wonder what the point of writing stuff in-character is if the flat#'characters reduced to a single trait that they may or may not even possess'#fics will ALWAYS end up being more popular than the ones with good characterization#anyway i know why the 18 kudos one is so low. it's the mcd tag. AND it's a gen fic centered around a character no one cares about#i wasn't expecting that one to do well#but it does suck that like. my most popular fics will never actually be my best ones#it's the same with bsd but THAT'S a whole other story#that's the phenomenon of everyone reducing bsd to the skk show and not giving the time of day to fics centered around anyone else#do u guys realize there are SO many other INCREDIBLE characters and dynamics????#like i was doing that bsd fic rec event on twt and almost all of the fics recced were skk#meanwhile i was searching for anything NOT skk bc idk other ships and characters deserve appreciation too??#and i don't even read much skk bc it's so hard to find anything that's. like. ACTUALLY good.#anyway. i don't actually care if you read somebody i'm proud of#but i hate that that's like. one of my most popular fics by a longshot#i have stuff that is so much better that people won't even glance at bc it's not tagged with the most popular m/m ship in the fandom#hello grace here
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Spoiler: I didn't go to sleep. But I will shortly after this post
#i'm sleepy. i'm dramatic. i'm silly. i'm affectionate; maybe#I know two people will see this. maybe? One of them is Moon. Dani is the other. again. maybe#i'm just gonna#AHEMS. words for both of these people; starting with Dani#first off. Damn I didn't think I'd ever read you calling me bestie. buut once I did I must admit the widest smile showed up in my face#I consider you a best friend as well; but from how cool you are? I never thought you'd look at me and go “yeah. thas my bestie”#second off. just like Moon; I saw (and still do) you as one of my biggest inspirations. The Lav blog and your silly characters made me want#-to get to know the entire server as a whole. so yea you're part of the reason I even started my drawing blog!#and now. my Wife. Moon. Ducky. Moondydusky (/silly)#grabby hands 💥 I wanna tell you just how much I love you all over again everyday. Not sure if you'd ever get tired of It but I just wanna#you're such an important person to me. Everyday I miss talking to you and giggle if I do talk to you#really. makes me just want to have you besides me I wanna just hug you before going to sleep I wanna kiss that pretty face of yours 😭💥💥#grfggarfwgshg#wif#:AAA:#anyway I love you so much and I'm still amazed how I went from “this person is SO cool” to “i'm proud to announce this is my wife!”#aaaand the SECRET THIRD OPTION.... Points at the bee#ASH if you're here I want you to know you're an AMAZING friend and you're so supportive and so cool and I wanna be you when I grow up /sill#you're literally just a little sibling to me /silly /pos#anyWay going to sleep fr now HEHAJHD goodnight everybody!!#(to any other mutuals. if I follow you and you follow me 👁️👁️ YOU ARE SO SO AMAZING AND COOL AND I'M SO GLAD WE'RE MOOTS RAHHHH)#I think I ranted too much. erm. yeah goodnight before I edit this post again
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astrxealis · 8 months ago
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i will return on tumblr soon bcs i'm graduating hs soon and acads r done so i have a Lot of time on my hands for now Anyway can i just say am very proud of myself. got into the Top 1 school in my country, top campus, and a vv competitive stem course. yay 😁💝💘❤️‍🔥✨
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#it's hilarious bcs i got waitlisted for compsci#which i'm actually rlly proud of bcs i didn't take the exams that seriously and most of jhs was online#compsci competitive af man#but i prove my worth both online & onsite ^_^ always straight As baby! even this gr 12 LOL <3#i got into my 3rd choice (2nd choice was psych i am So glad i didn't get in i ended up not wanting it anymore. also competitive asf so i'm#ok w that) WHICH IS the best possible outcome actually bcs it Is my dream course.#i will reveal more another time tho ... >:)) Anyway am just super proud hehe. also of my twin (we both passed & all that <3) ^___^#also my friends !! barely any passed actually and even then i know only like 10-15 of ppl in my whole school who Did pass#and less so for their first choice/dream course or their preferred campus#MWHAHAHAHAHA >:))) ok i'm not shitting on anyone tho i'm just so so so proud and happy#gbye i am busy tho relaxing LMFAO i've been getting 12 hours of sleep the last 3 days. god. school was tiring af#but i'm a weirdo so it's fun B) Amen. i like saying amen despite being this rlly agnostic/atheist person LMFAOOO#upcat i love u. ty for loving me LMFAOOAOAOAOAOAOAO#so proud idk ig. i knew i'd make it (i hope thsi doesn't come off as pretentious) but i didn't know exactly Where#but the universe did its thing and i got into my dream school dream campus dream course#unsure abt dream school really but it's upd or not up. and also def my dream course ^_^
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soultek · 2 years ago
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A Hundred Years - A One-Shot [Aliens AU]
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Author’s Note: So, this one is for my fellow Bishop Girlies! @mandy23b​ - Happy 4th Friend-Versay! (You’re for sure stuck with me now!)
@sufferthesea​ because 1) Happy (belated) Birthday! and 2) because it was your lyric choice and so I had to make it Bishop, obviously! I thought you’d enjoy 😉
Love you both TONS! 💙
Amanda, I know OC fic isn’t your preference, but, I hope you enjoy it anyway!
Please note there are some weird AF paragraph gaps in this that I just can’t get to work nicely... so I apologise in advance 🙏
Warnings: Some swearing / Depressive spiraling / sex reference and innuendo / He might be *slightly* OOC... please judge this for yourself, I tried my best!
Premise: From this fun little request post.  There’s engineering work to do, and Rex is spiraling. Despite Bishop’s valiant attempts to stop this from happening, it seems more like a delay. Sure, it started off as a joke - but now she’s really thinking on the fact that for the next 100 years he can upgrade himself and she... can’t. Not without drastic medical advancement. Sometimes it’s not about living for the future, but in the moment...
Words: 6965
--- Lyric Chosen ---
“A hundred years wouldn't be long enough” ~ Mean It This Time, Carly Pearce
---
It started, as it always did, with a game of chess. Although, by this point in their down time, the game had been practically forgotten in favour of general chat and gossip. The pieces used more as something to occupy hands – with the rules of the game being broken left, right and centre, as they were moved across the board with no particular destination. Travelling between planets on shorter journeys meant no need for Cryo, but right now Hicks would be glad of it, because he was bored out of his mind. So bored that really he lacked the concentration for a serious game of chess – and his feigned attempts at trying had quickly made Rex lose interest in playing any better. She had been the one to initially distract him with small talk and now the board was an absolute mess.
Though, being stuck together on a ship – and being close friends – meant really there was little to talk about beyond rumour and speculation. Or whatever bets the other crew members had going on this week. Hicks sank all the way down to the table, head resting on his crossed arms. She raised her eyebrows at him, “You know at this point you might as well go back to bed, huh?” “Ah, would that I could Rex… you know the second I do, something will actually happen.” “Well at least it will be worth it for the rest of us!” She tipped the rook she was messing with a little too far and it clattered off the board and rolled across the table, Hicks stretched his palm out to stop it, but even this was half hearted. “This is the most down down time ever.” “Then go find someone to mess around with.” “You’re the most fun to mess around with – suggesting chess was a screw up on my part.” Rexanna leant on her knuckles, eyebrow quirked. She tipped her head, and as she did so loose curls of dark hair fell into her face; regretting her change of position, she blew them out of the way. Maybe she should have tied it back today. “I noticed. And to think I could have kept going for an easy victory!” She looked back to the board – no point now with the state it was in. If they wanted to keep playing, they’d have to reset the whole thing. “But I’ll take the compliment that I think that was.” Hicks raised his head, but not by much, “It’s official, I’ve never been this bored in my life.” “Sorry, I didn’t realise you turned into Hudson on this trip-!” Rex folded her arms, looking away from him nonchalantly. That soon got her best friend sitting up. “You did not.” “Didn’t what?” “I KNOW I didn’t hear you say that-!” She grinned, “Well, if you’re gonna complain I don’t know what you expect me to say!” He leaned across the table, “You are SO lucky I like you!” “Or what?” Rex couldn’t help grin wider, teasing, before he smacked both her shoulders, “OW! Geez, Hicks, you’re a lot bigger than me!” She tried to lunge back across the table, but he had leaned out of reach. Now they were both laughing, and though she was rubbing her right shoulder, Rex wasn’t actually hurting. “Hey, you could always do work!” She suggested; that was always the easiest way to increase any kind of productivity, and on a ship this big, there was always something to do. “Uh, no thank you.” He waved that one away – seeming to suggest that in honesty, the only reason he was sitting across from her now was to avoid working. Fair enough. Hicks swung his right leg up onto the bench beside him, now apparently interested in his combat boots, “Never known you to throw a game of chess.” Her eyes flicked back to the pieces in annoyance, “I didn’t, but you weren’t really taking it seriously so there was no point. There’s nothing in an easy victory.” Hicks was right though; it was her favourite game. From the “CHQ MVIII” on her armour, which had now also been transferred to a tattoo just below her right collarbone, always obscured by her blue flight suit. (Which she’d now become partial to wearing when not in combat, for both comfort and the practicality of ad hoc engineering around the ship. Not to get too ‘matchy-matchy’ with her significant other!) To the chess piece around her neck… it was pretty much how her whole relationship had started… “I dunno, I figure distracting you once or twice has given me easy victories.” Rex’s eyes narrowed, “And you think I’ve forgiven you for that!?!” “Well if I can beat you then I figure you’re not really the best on the ship.” This time instead of leaning across to hit him, Rexanna grabbed the piece nearest to her and threw it at him, “Shut up!” Hicks merely laughed, “Have any of the newbies beaten you yet?” “No!” She was clearly falling for his teasing at the way her voice was pitching - damn him! “I better teach ‘em that all you gotta do is mention-” “And how is that gonna work now, jackass!” She picked up another piece, “Don’t make me throw another at you!” His laugh turned into a full-blown cackle before he calmed a little – smile still mischievous as he looked to her. “Frost, Spunkmeyer and Wierzbowski still got that stupid bet on how long it’s going to take anyone to figure out your relationship?” “I still think they should have had bets on the newbies thinking it’s us, but that’s just me.” Rex gave a shrug, “I think so. It’s not out there… it’s not hidden. It just is. Some of them know, I’m surprised they haven’t told the others… unless they’re getting hush money!” Hicks picked up one of his bishops and studied it with interest, “They do seem to keep thinking we’re a thing.” “You’re not exactly pointing out that you have a girlfriend, are you.” “Well I think I’d much rather be out in space with her than you, but that’s just me.” Rex folded her arms, squinting and mouth open, but didn’t even rise to it, “You wouldn’t be out here without me Hicks and you know it.” “Utterly lost!” He grinned and put the piece back down. Before his smile faded a little as he looked curiously behind her, “Ooop! Your man is here to pick you up.”
Rex twisted around in her seat, and sure enough now standing in the doorway of the mess hall was Bishop. She tried not to immediately beam about it – but knew this only meant one thing. Mother had picked up a few knocks here and there with some of the ship’s internals and although not serious, they needed fixing. Rex had been putting it off until they had enough down time and no other work to do… apparently that time had come. She offered a wave, before indicating that she’d be two minutes. He nodded politely, before she turned back to Hicks. “Yeah, guess I now have work to do!” “Aw man, you jinxed it!” Her best friend appeared momentarily sympathetic before his eyes narrowed, “Work? With Bishop? C’mon Rex, where are you really going? I know it ain’t work!” “Do you want a functioning ship or not? We’ve been putting this fix off for weeks!” “Yeah, uh huh, sure!” Hicks raised his eyebrows at her to indicate he believed otherwise, “Have fun getting your fix.” Rex hated that she could feel her cheeks heating, “Screw you!” “Sounds like that’s what’s gonna happen to you, honey.” “If I wasn’t so scared for my life of what Ripley would do to me once we got back, I’d kill you.” Hicks grinned a little wider, “That’s my girl! Also, if we’re being honest, as you can’t survive without me, you’d be throwing yourself out an airlock far before that.” Point noted – but Rexanna wouldn’t say it out loud. She pulled her feet out from under the bench and made a motion to stand, but Hicks was intent on keeping her there as long as possible – now studying more chess pieces. “Hey, didn’t you play against his creator, once?” She was glad for a moment she hadn’t mentally checked out of the conversation already, or she might have taken a while to pick up the train of thought going on here. Hicks was referring to Bishop’s designer and the lead engineer on the 341-B project. “Michael? Yeaaah, what about it?” “Didn’t you win?” Rex wondered if he was being facetious. “No.” “No?!” Hicks genuinely looked surprised when he looked up, “I thought you got what you wanted?” “I did get what I played him for…”   essentially the agreement that once Bishop became an ‘obsolete’ model in Wey-Yu’s eyes, and especially in the eyes of their USCM missions, instead of being deactivated he would become completely Rex’s responsibility. She expected Android law to have progressed by then, but, until such a time, if this protected him it was the least she could do. “…I didn’t win.” “Fair enough. I won’t bring up any more of your losses, I was trying to big you up.” Rex scoffed, “Against a multiple time world chess champion? Try again – remind me of all the times I beat Hudson,” she leaned in, giving her hands purchase to push herself back and away from the table, “or you!” Hicks laughed again, “No chance!” Rex stepped back a few paces, grinning at her best friend, “Alright, I gotta go – enjoy your single life on the ship, Hicks!” “Yeah well, at least I don’t have to hide away any time I want some action and pretend I’m working-!” This time Rexanna laughed, winking at him before turning, “You’re just jealous!”  She held a hand up in a wave goodbye, “See ya!”
Bishop was leaning against the wall outside as she rounded the corner; amused by her friends jabs as much as anything else. She’d get him back later. “Rexanna…” “Sorry-! To be honest I’m not sure if that conversation was worth finishing. But I’m good now… this is about the fix we’ve been putting off right?” “Yes.” He regarded her steadily, “This is… about work.” Catching on, she flicked her eyes back in the direction she’d come from, “Y- Yes, I know.” “Didn’t seem that’s what you and Hicks were talking about.” She very nearly snorted, “I think he was joking with me, but that isn’t what I was expecting anyway. I knew this had to be done… down time comes after, that’s okay with me!” She beamed, walking in step with him, offering a wink that was only met with a look of mild disapproval.
  ***
  They were so close as they walked towards the source of the issue that they found hands and arms almost constantly brushing – pretty soon causing their fingers to entwine. They didn’t let go at any point after that, including as they had to descend several flights of stairs – instead Bishop would walk first in order to keep her steady. Like a gentleman (as he so often was). Sometimes he made Rex wonder why anyone would rather be with a human male – honestly just one mission with any of the guys she’d been posted with would likely put you off for life. Except maybe Hicks – but of course she’d make that exception for her best friend. Even when they came across others in corridors the connection between them was never severed, even if it meant side stepping or doing some more awkward single file walking.
They’d been together a while by now, but any situation like this always made something spark within Rexanna – she never knew if it was excitement or dread, but it was definitely anticipation of what would happen. What would their reaction be; what would his reaction be. So often before she’d unconsciously worried that he would drop her hand at the slightest sign of conflict or disapproval. Which took to Rex holding him just that little bit tighter every time they came to that impasse. Bishop picked this up so quickly that at this point the only way Rex was going to make him let go was if she dropped his hand first. On the ship where most people knew, she was much more relaxed about it; and with any of the first-time fliers, Rex was ranked high enough that staring them down would get them to drop any look of uncertainty.
  Eventually she realised they had got this far without much conversation. Normally that would have been fine; they both knew exactly the issue to fix here and silence was always comfortable between them. In all honesty when she had to spend the majority of her day giving orders to the other engineers or fighting her way through marine banter, returning to a comfortable silence with Bishop was heaven. Everything else was simply exhausting. They didn’t really need words to know how each other was feeling. He could simply hold his arms out for her and that would be enough.
Yet, Rexanna hadn’t seen him all morning – and right now it was like she was neglecting to ask about his day. She turned, “Hey, I thought you’d come and collect me earlier. You weren’t around when I woke up, but considering I had no other work to do, I thought you might leave me a note or something to meet you down here…!” “Oh.” Bishop smiled, “No, I had to run some diagnostics. Still got a few to finish later, you can help, if you like?” “On yourself? Sure… You okay?” “I’m fine – it’s just routine.” He gave a shrug, “Then I thought we ought to be getting on with this before it got too late.” Rex could agree with that, “Routine? You sure?” Ever since she’d found those weird lines of three-laws-defying code in him that he kept rewriting, she had to admit there was a certain level of paranoia that Wey-Yu would find some way of wiping them out of him. “Well…” She didn’t like the pause, this time stopping their walk to actively stare at him. She loosened her fingers from Bishop’s – as if to emphasise the importance of his next answer. “…It’s just upgrades, Ree, you don’t need to worry. I promise. But there are some data chip changes I need to do.” His voice was so gentle with that particular use of her name that she believed him instantly. But she had other issues, chewing her lip momentarily and looking away from the weight of his own stare. Even now sometimes she couldn’t hold those eyes of his. Truth was, she might have got his promise – might even have been given a written contract with a signature… but she didn’t trust Michael and the company one bit. What annoyed Rex most was she didn’t have a choice.
Instead, she made something more like a joke of the situation, continuing their walk. “In 100 years I'll be nothing but dust, and you'll still be walking around upgrading yourself!” Bishop’s response was to chuckle, and she smiled just to hear him laugh, “You don't know that! There could be many medical advancements between now and then.” Funnily enough he said it with every ounce of seriousness, so it was Rexanna’s turn to laugh, “Well they better hurry the hell up or I'll be too old! By that point they better put my brain in an android!” She didn’t know if she were joking or not, but Bishop looked across to her, then looked away with a little smile. “That... would be agreeable.” Rex shook her head, before nudging him playfully with her shoulder; “Yeah, I bet!” She was smiling, and her joke was meant to be throw away… then suddenly she found herself really thinking on it. Her smile faded.
Not due to unhappiness but curiosity – every now and then this was something Rex would think on. There were a lot of things she couldn’t give Bishop that an android partner could. They would be able to understand a lot of mechanical grievances; and that never ending fight for better rights. He was an Equal Opportunity Advisor for the USCM after all. Rex could live her life blissfully and never come into contact with any of that. She tried to be an active ally, for obvious reasons – but did she really give him the support he wanted… or needed? She couldn’t help but voice it: “Would you… like that?” “Like what?” She got the feeling Bishop knew, but wanted her to voice the question anyway. “If I was in an androids’ body instead of mine?” If it was still her just less flesh and bone and more circuit boards and circulation fluid. “I mean would that even be the same to you?” Bishop suddenly frowned so hard that Rexanna thought he might have malfunctioned – this time she held his stare just because of how disbelieving it was; and she was starting to feel like she’d asked something wrong. Her lips parted to say something, anything at this point that would get that look off his face. Bishop spoke first. “No.” There was a hanging silence again, Rex blinked. “S-Sorry, to which part?” “All of it. Why would I want that?” “Well, like I say… my life is so finite. As long as you have a way to keep upgrading… I’ll be long gone by the time anything happens to you. If I was an android I could… be around for so much longer.” He stepped a little closer to her, “Rex.” It was too late; she was spiralling, “I don’t know, maybe that’d be better for you. My life won’t be long enough for either of us – even with the wonders of tech, and you’ll outlive me for so long!” Would he be able to go on without her? Did Rex really want the answer to that question? “Rexanna. Ree. Don’t do that. Stop.” He took her hands back in his, but, as she kept talking Bishop moved his hands to her arms, pulling her closer before placing his forehead gently to hers. “Hey.” Silence again, except she could hear the pounding of her heart inside her head. Brown eyes wide as they looked between his. “You wouldn’t be you. I wouldn’t trade you for anything.” Snaking his left hand down her right arm he traced Rex’s tattoo – a swirl of stars and nebulae - before interlinking their fingers, “You don’t think the reason you are so complex and so… human is part of the reason I fell for you?” She wasn’t really one for blushing, but Rex knew she was getting hot – and he was giving her very little room. Even now Bishop still had troubles with personal space. If Rex backed up, she knew she was about to hit the steel wall of the ship. She tried to look anywhere but his eyes, searching for something to say and stammering. What exactly was she supposed to say to that. In reality, Bishop wasn’t expecting her to return the favour. And she noticed that his right hand was now clasped around her other wrist, fingers pressing against her pulse point – as if to really hammer what he was saying home. Duly noted.
Though he’d have to remind her, again and again and again… 
To break what for her was fast becoming too awkward of a pause, Rex deflected with humour, as her group of marines so often did. “Aw man, and here I thought it was for my stellar good looks!” She made sure her grin was extra cheesy. Bishop’s laugh was almost painful, but his look softened. “Well… perhaps a little of that too.” At least she was giggling and not spiralling; he could cope with that – as apparently this was so funny to her, she ended up collapsing into his shoulder, hiding her face in his flight suit. Or, perhaps Rex was hiding for different reasons… He watched her for a moment, shaking his head, before taking a deep – and unnecessary – breath. “Okay, Ms. Mori. We have a computer to fix. Let’s go.”
Ah, her last name? Now she was in trouble… ***
Rex had fixed plenty of systems like this before - but never in a room that looked quite so compact. Usually equipment like this was afforded areas that were wider, looking a little like rows of servers. For some reason on this ship, they had decided to place it in a cramped space; meaning instead of having rows of modules with gaps in between, they were all stacked on top of each other and screwed into the walls. Not only that, but it must have been stuffed into a tight angled part of the ship - given that the ceiling was an unusual hexagonal shape that seemed to cave in on itself. And there were modules screwed into that too. The saving grace was it was brightly lit. Unsurprisingly, everything they had to fix was up there. Both because a) of course it wasn’t on the floor, and b) it was most likely the weird angles that were causing issues. Rex swivelled in place to Bishop, eyebrow raised, pointing a finger to the ceiling; “Guess we’re climbing?” “Mhm.” He affirmed, before giving her an equally disbelieving look, “You think they’d design this a bit better though.” “Hopefully we fix it well enough for this to be the one time it comes up, but I foresee further issues..!” “Fixing it once in almost 2 years?” Bishop admired that hope and optimism, “I doubt it.” “Yeah,” Rexanna sighed gently, “me too.”
On the far wall, it seemed that the company were quite prepared for engineers to fix any faults in this room; a storage locker conveniently labelled “tools” (as if they wouldn’t have bought their own? Well… at least Bishop had remembered to!) and several cables and harnesses tied neatly together that ran all the way to sturdy looking hooks in the ceiling. At least they’d assist in climbing: but what an effort! Rex puffed out her cheeks with an eye roll; this was going to be a long day.
Before she hooked herself up to ascend though… Rex patted down the pockets of her flight suit, wait… She cursed herself for a moment; surely she didn’t forget them!? Usually she had at least one in a pocket somewhere!! Bishop cleared his throat, and as Rex looked to him she realised he’d known exactly what she was looking for - extending his hand out with a hair tie. “And that’s why I love you.” She took it from him gratefully pulling her dark hair up into it, before smiling, with a gentle, “thank you.” That didn’t perturb him from his joke, though. “Thought it’d be for much more than that.” Bishop bumped his arm against hers as he passed, ready to set himself up for the climb. Rex couldn’t help snorting; “You mean your good looks, right?!” Although he wasn’t facing her, she could hear that smile in his voice. “Something like that.”
It didn’t take them long to attach the harnesses and ropes. Luckily they wouldn’t need to also pull a tool box up with them, as the harnesses came with handy tool belts; and anything they couldn’t fit in there was transferred into flight suit pockets. In reality, it wasn’t necessarily so much of a climb, but having to pull yourself up to the level you wanted. Not so bad for him, she supposed, but an arduous task when this whole fix would require you using your arms. There must have been an easier way to do it…?
Rex thought hard, staring at the rope in her hands for a long time. Either she’d missed something Bishop had said or he was just being extra patient with her, because he hadn’t moved to start either. Staring intently in silence and waiting for her to say whatever she was thinking. And then it clicked. “Oh my god…” she said softly, before laughing, “of course!” Seemingly Bishop knew she was about to say something typically Rex by the subsequent look on his face. “Mother, could you please disengage the artificial gravity in this room?”
  There was a beat with no noise. Rex wasn’t even sure if she expected Mother to answer them. Sometimes Mother liked to remain silent when working on things and sometimes she could be overly… motherly.
Her eyes flicked across to Bishop’s as if to tell him it was at least worth a shot; but as Rexanna did so she noticed her clothes begin to rise, followed by her dog tags; escaping her flight suit and threatening to send the chess piece attached (a Bishop, what else?) sailing to the ceiling if she didn’t keep hold of it. Before long, her feet were hovering off the floor as it really kicked in. That unsteady moment when Rex was never sure if she’d remain floating or suddenly crash back down in a heap. The latter had happened many a time - especially when people weren’t expecting it! Luckily the Zero-G held and they found themselves free floating to the top of the room where the work was needed. This time the ropes served as anchors to make sure that they weren’t drifting off away from where they were meant to be. Hopefully no one would decide to check on them, or they were in for a nasty shock. Else the gravity would reengage and Rex would find herself with angry red marks where her harness caught her sudden weight in quite a large fall.
It would be no good doing this if you were afraid of heights.
  The lack of gravity worked wonders; they could effectively “swim” to exactly where they were needed. That would save them some energy; or, maybe a couple of percent on having to recharge later. Though Rex couldn’t help but look over to Bishop for approval. He could tell, of course, so he made her wait for it. Luckily this time his stare included a blink or two. “Well I wasn’t going to say it until it worked - but that is a pretty efficient idea, yes.” Rex couldn’t help but give a little wiggle of a happy dance at this - Bishop just shook his head at her. Sometimes she could get so happy at the tiniest of things. She was still a mystery to him by all accounts. But he liked that.
  She held her tongue for the first few minutes of work - because she actually thought she’d miscalculated - if they needed to remove panels and screws, they risked them soaring off out of reach; and if they were very unlucky, either screws lost, or further damage created they didn’t need to fix. This fear was soon abated when Rexanna realised that everything stayed firmly locked in even once unscrewed. Even those screws had a limit and didn’t come fully out of the plates. The only thing she really need to keep an eye on was her data pad; making sure she was fixing and rewiring all the right parts, before moving onto the next one. They kept a back-and-forth dialogue to ensure everything was covered. And other than that, no small talk passed between them. They stuck to task. Professional. It was probably the main reason they were allowed to go on so many of these colonisation - or ATMOS - missions together. Because work was work; and the relationship came after or between those moments. They knew how to keep things separate. So separate that there were still several newer marines that, even about a year or so into this one, hadn’t figured it out yet. They probably worked better together than most science and engineering teams in the entire Wey-Yu USCM roster. And, in this strictly professional way, they scaled themselves across their entire engineering fix.
***
After screwing her last panel into place Rexanna glanced over her shoulder. Bishop was studying the data pad - having long since finished his section (of course, he had precision and efficiency she didn’t). This would at least tell him if all systems were back to functioning. She waited… and waited… He looked up slowly, almost as if he didn’t know she was looking for the green light. “We’ll probably have to test it. But I would say everything looks nominal here.” He jabbed the pad with his index finger, “we at least fixed everything on the list.”
This was good enough for Rex! Who punched the air. They’d been up here a few hours at least; it had been more work than she initially expected. And they were working in Zero-G; not as easy as she’d hoped. Speaking of… now she was up here, she had less clue of how exactly to get back to the floor… If she asked Mother to reengage the gravity that presented the “all my weight at once” problem of before - likely not a slow process… Though then they could just abseil down… easy!
Bishop watched Rexanna look down to the bottom - the expression of concentration on her face that showed how her thought patterns were figuring their way out of this. “You know,” he spoke up, “I have a system that can engage artificial gravity. I could just float us down to the ground again.” “What?!” Rex’s eyes widened, “You do! Well that saves me a lot of hard thought!” She grinned. He pressed his lips together, thinking, “I mean you have to get to me, but, I’m sure you can manage that.” “Pretty sure I’ve been through hell and back and almost died that one time to finally get to you, so… yeah. A lack of gravity is not going to stop me!” Without warning Rex pushed herself off the wall - it didn’t have quite the desired speed; but she let her rope out enough to sail across the expanse to him. He’d at least pushed himself out to just about the middle of the room by that point anyway.
Realising there was very little to slow herself down now except Bishop, Rexanna latched herself to him; legs tangling with his and clinging to his shoulders. “Uhhhh-! Not sure this is quite what I had in mind-!” He was busy trying to balance both to not send them careering into a wall - but he chuckled; voice teasing. “Funny, because I was.” Rex’s eyes narrowed “Huh?” “I got you over here. And that was the plan.” The silence of her disbelief really said everything, “… The extent of your plan was… Did you just lie to me!?” It took a while for Bishop’s smile to crack, but once it did Rex knew she had absolutely been played. “Well…” One hand fell to her hip; and it brought back memories of the first time he’d teased her, “it wasn’t the extent of my plan. No.” “Oh? What was then?” Because no matter what; they did have to get down. So, he better have a way!
His smile was gentle, and he pressed his forehead back to hers, as he had in the hallway to calm her. “This…” His deep voice lowered to something gentle, not quite a whisper. Bishop closed the gap between them, lips to hers. Rex’s eyes closed on contact, hands tangling in his flight suit as she pulled him a little closer, savouring that contact. He kept her steady in their free float – the hand not on her hip supporting her back; running in soothing circles. He pulled away ever so slightly; but that was another tease, because he knew Rexanna wasn’t going to let him get away with it, before she pulled him in for a deeper one. Oh yeah, this was way better than getting to the ground. Rex was getting to experience a Zero-G kiss! (And how many people could say that, in honesty!?)
***
The next time they really got a quiet moment together was late into the evening, after having to fend off a million comments when Hicks decided to loudly proclaim that the last thing they’d been doing for the past three hours was fixing the ships systems, and the entire table decided to join in. If Rex had hoped anything would go that way this evening, by the time she’d made it back to their room she was exhausted.
They had finally made it down from the precarious situation of turning the gravity back on by Bishop having Rexanna continue to wrap her body around his and taking the full force of gravity and her weight by himself. After she suggested that might hurt, he came back with the cheeky quip of, “I’m used to it.” …She rather thought it might be the other way around, but wouldn’t argue.
In fact by the time she’d had enough of her crew mates and declared she was turning in for the night - which earned numerous pretty crude jeers (and several people swift smacks to the back of the head; not least Hicks for causing all this) - Bishop was already back to the room and settled. On a ship that was somehow even bigger than the Sulaco had been, and on their third such mission, Rexanna and Bishop had been afforded their own room. Small, pretty cramped, and not really enough for two people in one space without some tricky navigation – but still, theirs. Which at this point sure beat bunking with every other marine she knew.
Bishop looked up as the door slid open, she stepped inside with a blown-out breath and a shake of her head. “That good, huh?” “Dinner was dinner – you know what it’s like… it’s everyone else.” A small smile, “Oh. I can imagine your best friend was at his most helpful.” Rexanna’s laugh was almost pained, “You got it.”
“As for dinner, I could have made you some myself, but…” Bishop indicated to the state of himself – ports open and skin pulled back in several places. She was surprised that there was no sign of white circulation fluid everywhere. “Oh shit,” she sounded surprised, “when you said upgrades…” “Oh yes.” He nodded, “The company sent along some new data chips, as I said, so I thought they were worth installing.” “Mhm.” But this many? Wow. Rex wondered momentarily if that shipment had anything to do with her – and then thought she was better off not knowing. She approached the side of the bed, sitting gently so as not to jostle him. Sensing she had no more to say than that, and would be content with watching him, Bishop went back to installing the little chips – clicking them into place. Absentmindedly Rex’s fingers went to her necklace, twisting around the chess piece, and then her dog tags. With both these things was a very old data chip of his from when he had previously been fixed up on a mission. Tech that had become obsolete almost as soon as it was made. It would just have been destroyed otherwise – but there was something about this piece that felt too real to Rex. And too surreal as well; being a previous part of his memory core.
She pushed herself across the bed to him as inconspicuously as possible, folding her legs under herself. He’d continue on as normal, of course. Bishop didn’t have that horrible feeling any human did of being watched – and certainly wasn’t one to make any mistakes because of it. Rexanna had a sudden realisation, while watching him. Well – maybe not a realisation, maybe just a resurfacing of something she’d known for a long time, but had kept pushing down. Something she’d almost reached with her spiral earlier before he’d stopped her. But it was so out in the open now that it was unavoidable. She placed her hand gently on Bishop’s free arm, sliding it slowly to entwine their fingers. Even now there was something Rex quite liked about the difference in their skin tones; it never failed to surprise her just how pale he was in contrast to the darker tanned complexion she had. Rexanna realised that beneath that fairly superficial surface (literally), she was just contemplating her own mortality. And, in a strange way, his too. Eventually there would be no more upgrades – he’d be an old, obsolete, discontinued model. To her that almost seemed a worse fate than death. Did he care about things like that? Did he even think about them? Even with whatever agreement she had with Michael Bishop now – which would save him from being scrapped completely – at some point technology would advance so much it just wouldn’t be compatible. She’d would fight long and hard to make sure this wouldn’t happen. But what about after her? How would he cope after that? She’d age and die but Bishop never would. He was a collection of data chips: metal and plastic... No. That was wrong to say. Even if the truth. He was as human as she was – she’d spent the better part of their first mission together relaying that information. There was no debate in her mind at all that he was alive. But…
Bishop paused his working, glancing up to Rex watching him. Although realising that she wasn’t really watching him anymore – he’d lost her again, inside the void of thoughts within her head. He wasn’t sure why today of all days she was going through it. He knew it happened from time to time, but Rexanna didn’t often get this bad. “Ree…” He prompted gently, sounding a little more curious to know her wavelength. He wanted to affirm at least where she was heading. Whether he could bring her back or not. Her expression was almost one of puzzlement too, as she traced her eyes along the inner workings that were still visible, and the small pile of chips he still had to install. “That’s your heart and soul... what makes you, you... without that you-” He cut her off, now very aware that he was correct. All Bishop had managed to do earlier was pause the journey, but it was clear that the ship had left the space station and wouldn’t be back until it’s travels were complete. “Yes, but, it can all be replaced, I mean you’re wearing one, and I’m still the same as I was.” As much as he had a point, that didn’t feel the same to her. Around her neck was a fix out of necessity – he wouldn’t be here without it. This seemed like compliance. For the hell of it. Because technology just would not slow down… She almost laughed. Really, Rexanna was wrong – it was just a different kind of necessity. And at the end of it all, something she couldn’t do. She’d joked about her mind in an android body earlier – but to a point, she was envious that he could just upgrade or fix himself like this. It all seemed too easy. “And I’m just human... I... I’m not gonna last like...” Rex gasped. Seemingly out of nowhere she pulled back from him, placing a hand over mouth, before tears spiked. Bishop was quick to spring into action; snapping everything closed – this could wait. “Hey, hey... No... stop... why are you crying? Don’t- don’t think like that!” “Shit-!” Rex said again from behind her hand, “It’s just so hard!” He pulled her closer, fingertips gently brushing the remnants of the first tears from her cheeks, “This isn’t even something you have to acknowledge for years. Why is it all coming up now?” “Because I do have to think about it…” Her voice strained as she tried to stop herself from really crying hard. “I can’t be in the marines and doing this forever. I’m limited. And even if I can still work somewhere… you’ll remain out here. And that’s just the start of it-!” “You’re not limited… And…” He took a deep breath, encouraging Rex to imitate it, in an attempt to help calm her. “You’re nowhere near that. If anything, at least Earth will be safe for you.” His smile was a little crooked, “I know people say you shouldn’t live in the past but… somehow, Rex, you’ve managed to do the complete opposite.” “Yeah?” “Yeah, you’re living in the far future. And, while I admit it’s always good to look to the future… something tells me I’ve been neglecting to tell you to live in the moment.” He made a face for a second as if trying to recall, searching the room as if it had answers, “Or… someone has.” Rexanna groaned gently, burying her face in his chest, making Bishop wind his arms around her, rubbing her shoulders soothingly as she sniffed, “I’m an idiot.” “No, you just let your mind go wandering a little too far sometimes…” He held her closer, pulling the warmth of her body flush to his, “We can think about our mortality and live like that, sure. But, the truth is, neither of us know how long we have, so we have to make the most of this time. That's what matters!” His head tipped, recalling something else he’d read, “Medical advancements are happening all the time. We probably have at least another 100 years. So, you don’t have to worry about anything for minimum the next 99.” She laughed, which is what he wanted, rubbing her eyes – before shaking her head disbelievingly. Bishop didn’t really care if Rex believed him or not, he just wanted that smile back on her face. “Even if I had a hundred years to love you it wouldn’t be long enough.”
He chuckled, “Well, that’s something we can both agree on.”
---
Thank you for reading! 😚💙
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yardsards · 1 year ago
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my big sister's apartment looks like a fuckin pinterest board meanwhile i have mouldy dishes in my sink
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