#I'm gonna take you up on that offer some day

[tthoroughfare]

kerosene // ellie williams

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: the setup of a slow burn between you and ellie.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: sfw

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 1.7k

so... this actually started out as NOTHING. i planned for it to be nothing. just me, my pages app and my love for jackson!ellie & that fuck ass hoodie against the world. howeverrrr i may or may not have written almost 10k so far that i'm planning to split up (and continue) into an ongoing series just focusing on you and ellie living in jackson, spending time with your friends, slowly falling in love. real piners rise

god i just love jackson ellie so much. her little nerdy cocky self

the idea of being friends and pining over each other for literal years because you’re both too scared to say anything… catching the other staring, having a few little moments here and there but chalking it up to nothing because you both don’t believe the other would see you like that.

and then she starts dating cat and you’re just like welp. guess this is really never ever gonna happen after all. you let yourself mope for a while, not wanting to go out as much for fear of seeing them together and feeling that strange pang in your chest — just overall being weird and avoiding ellie. you feel silly, really, locking yourself away and listening to sad music over someone you were never even with.

you selfishly hope it doesn’t last long, that it’s just a fling, but when months go by and they’re still together, you come to some sort of acceptance. you even date someone else for a short while to try and take your mind off of her, but quickly realize you’re just searching for scattered parts of her in someone else. and something in your gut tells you that while nothing’s wrong within the relationship, it just doesn’t feel right. doesn’t feel like it’s supposed to.

meanwhile, ellie’s mindset was that she never really saw you as attainable in the first place. and she did genuinely really like cat, so when she initiated the relationship, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t excited to see where it went. you were always at the back of her mind, though. she didn’t like the way you’d distanced yourself. you were never best friends, but definitely fairly close. she felt the switch almost overnight, the way you stopped going out of your way to talk to her, stopped asking her to tag along when you'd hang out with jesse and dina. she didn’t know what your deal was. the thought that you might be jealous did cross her mind, but she quickly swatted it away. why would you be jealous? it’s only her.

when you started seeing someone yourself, it was like confirmation. nothing was ever gonna happen, you weren’t jealous; how could any of that be the case when you were right there, with someone else? she cursed herself for even thinking about any of it, guilty conscience thick when her mind would then turn to cat. she knew she shouldn’t be deliberating whether you were jealous, whether you liked her, whether anything could ever happen between you, when she had a girlfriend.

she tried her hardest to push you out of her mind whenever you’d arise. she still saw you around, sometimes alone, sometimes with your girlfriend. you’d talk pleasantly, share a few laughs, but it wasn’t like it used to be.

and then one day, when she’s on her way home, she sees you by yourself. you’re sitting under a tree reading, headphones in. she can’t help but notice you look a little melancholy, like you don’t want to be bothered. she deliberates on whether to disturb you or not, stopping, then going to walk away, then stopping again. against her better judgement, she wanders over to you and nudges you gently with the side of her foot.

you look up, offering a small smile and tugging your headphones out. “hey.”

“hey.” ellie mirrors you, shooting back a soft smile of her own. a beat of slightly awkward silence passes as she tries to think of the reason she actually came over. she doesn’t even have one.

“what’s up?” you ask after a few seconds.

“uh… not much. just… uh… wanted to say hi.”

the corner of your mouth quirks into a slight smirk. “well… you just did.”

ellie breathes out a quiet chuckle, bringing her hands together to mess with her fingers. “very funny.” she pauses, then hesitantly crouches and sits beside you. “whatcha reading?”

you turn the cover so that she can see it. “mystery book,” you say, eyes flitting between ellie and the novel, before you rest it back in your lap, starting to lightly read again.

“you want me to tell you who the killer is?”

you chuckle, looking back up at ellie. “sure, take a stab at it.”

ellie’s eyebrows raise slightly. “pun intended?”

you tilt your head, raising an eyebrow as you realize what you just said. “nope. guess i’m just too witty.”

she looks down and smiles lightly, before looking up at the sky in feigned thought. she clicks her fingers. “it’s the priest.”

you let out a laugh. “there isn’t even a priest in it.”

“that’s what you think,” she quips back, feigning seriousness. “he will be introduced in… 43 pages.”

you roll your eyes, unable to hold back a smile. “shut up.”

“nope. wanna hear some more of my predictions? 100% accuracy guaranteed.”

“sure.”

“… you’re in a shitty mood,” ellie says matter-of-factly, before her voice softens. “seriously, you good? you look all…”

she trails off, gesturing at you slightly.

you chew at the inside of your cheek. truth be told, you are in a shitty mood, but you didn’t realize it was visible. plus, you don’t really want to talk about it. especially not to ellie, of all people. “yeah, nah, i’m fine.”

she just gives you a look in reply — one to say, ‘i’m not stupid’. to which, you let out a small sigh and shake your head. you’re not good at lying to ellie. “okay, i guess i may be in a… tiny bit of a slump.”

she shuffles a bit, leaning back on her hands. “why? what’s wrong?”

you pick at your nail, pausing. “i don’t know, man. just… yeah. stuff.”

“what kinda stuff?”

you curse her in your head for pushing, but simultaneously feel a pulse in your chest that she cares. you don’t particularly want to talk to ellie about your relationship. or lack thereof. it feels embarrassing, for some reason. in the end, you let out a small, defeated sigh. “ugh. just… so… i’m not with you-know-who anymore.”

ellie raises her eyebrows, trying to ignore the way she feels selfish relief. “damn. that sucks.”

you shrug. “i suppose so.”

another awkward pause occurs as ellie tries to think of what to say. comforting people has never really been her forte, but she wants to try for you. plus, she’s curious. “…wh-what happened?”

you look up, eyes flitting around the scenery, pulling a small face as you think. “nothing, really. just… wasn’t working. like… didn’t really feel right, y’know?”

she quirks an eyebrow, looking sideways at you. “so it was you, huh?”

you let out something between a breathed out chuckle and a groan. “…yeah. i felt really mean.”

“damn. you’re ruthless. heartbreaker,” she teases deadpan in response, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

to which, you roll your eyes and snicker, the smile lingering on your face. even in the worst mood, you’d noticed, ellie could always make you laugh somehow. “shut up. it wasn’t like that.”

“then what was it like?”

you shrug lightly, toying with the cover of your book. “i don’t know. went as best as it could, i suppose. i have nothing against her, nothing happened, it just… yeah. like i said. wasn’t right.”

ellie hums in acknowledgment, looking away in thought. her silence feels a little uncomfortable, driving you to babble on. “i don’t know, she’s nice and everything, but it just felt like we were kind of… wasting each other’s time. i didn’t see it actually going anywhere. i know we’re still young, and… y’know, it’s hardly like we have to marry each other or whatever. but something just felt missing. i don’t know.”

you glance at ellie briefly, then back down at your book, tracing the cover art with your fingertip. “like… you and cat. you guys seem happy. what does that feel like?”

she feels a little taken off guard. she’s not used to talking about this with anyone; anyway, nobody’s ever really asked. she shifts, sitting cross legged and leaning her forearms on her thighs, messing with her hands. “uh… i don’t know. i haven’t really thought about it.”

you furrow your eyebrows slightly. not really the reaction you were expecting. “oof. what does that mean?”

ellie lets out a drawn out hum, wrinkling her chin. “… i don’t know. i suppose it just feels… hm. it’s just… what it is. i guess.”

you pull a face, blowing air through your nose. “wow. don’t get too sappy on me, now. you’re gushing.”

her eyes roll in response to your sarcasm, a lopsided smirk on her face. “shut up.”

you mirror her smile, meeting her eyes for a few seconds, trying to shove down the way it burns a hole through you, makes your chest feel like it’s constricting.

the moment is broken by a call of ellie’s name. you both automatically look up, spotting cat strolling over with a bright smile on her face. 

“speak of the devil,” you murmur jokingly, turning to look back at ellie briefly.

she scoffs in response, moving to stand up. when cat presses a small kiss to her lips in greeting, resting a hand on her arm, you avert your eyes.

cat looks down at you, offering a soft smile and a wave. “hey.”

“hey,” you reply, looking back up. you did really like cat. you weren’t necessarily friends, but she was cool, and funny, and always nice to you. you flit your eyes between her and ellie as she turns back, addressing her girlfriend.

“i was on my way to yours. we still watching a movie tonight?”

ellie looks down at you, then back at cat, an unreadable expression on her face. “uh… yeah, yeah. for sure.”

cat smiles at ellie, taking her hand and lightly swinging it between them. “… well, we’ll leave you to it,” she says to you.

you nod slowly. “yup. catch you two later.”

you wave half-heartedly at them both as they walk away hand-in-hand, free hands returning the gesture. you busy yourself with putting your headphones back in and choosing a new song, but if you were looking up, you’d have seen ellie look back at you. twice.

[fireboltposts]

How Stray Kids react to you telling them playfully "I'd trade you for a lifetime supply of chocolates"

A/N : Picture credit goes to the owner.

• You're enjoying a quiet and lazy day off with the Stray Kids member of your choice, happily munching on a chocolate bar and he's silently working next to you . That is until you tell them in a mock serious tone "You know, I'd totally and happily trade you for a lifetime supply of chocolates".

Chris

• He blinks at you in confusion but then pretends to be so hurt.

• "You'd trade me ? Just for some cocoa beans ? Do you know how much effort I put into this relationship ? Are my late night calls, texts, cuddles, kisses not enough for you that you'd trade them for some chocolates ? My worth is so less in front of chocolates".

• And you giggle at his reaction and say "I'm just joking Channie" while messing up his hair a little.

• "I'll let it slide this time but I'll bring you chocolate next time to show you I am irreplaceable", he pouts.

Minho

• He raises an eyebrow at your statement as if to say "yeah like you could live without me".

• "Just so you know, your priorities are all wrong. A chocolate bar won't dance with you or cook for you or even kiss you. Choose wisely dummy".

• And you laugh at his response and he's like "don't even try to explain yourself, I'll be watching you the next time you eat a chocolate and it's going to be a problem if you enjoy it more than you enjoy being with me", he smirks and rolls his eyes.

Changbin

• He can't help but laugh at your weird out-of-the-blue statement.

• "I work out every single day, write love songs for you and even share my food with you and you're telling me I can easily be replaced by some cocoa products ? Wow I have been replaced huh by some mere KitKat. Great great", he says, pretending to be hurt.

• He later holds up a chocolate bar and asks you playfully, "so who's it gonna be, this chocolate or me ?", with an amused smile.

Hyunjin

• Hyunjin, being his dramatic self, would clutch his chest in mock hurt.

• "You'd trade ME for some chocolates ? That too HAPPILY ? Wow I guess I was wrong huh. I thought I was your number one, your soulmate, your one true love but I've been demoted to second place by a mere Ferrero Rocher. Wow just wow, I have no words".

• You'd poke his cheek "aww Jinnie ever the dramatic I love you, buuuut I love chocolate a liiiiitle but more", you say playfully.

• "Maybe I'm dramatic but you brought this on yourself".

• He'd later get you an entire Ferrero Rocher box and will say "Chocolates will never love you the way I do, my love,but here you go".

Han

• He looks up from his laptop and gasps loudly. "Are you serious ? Chocolates really ? That's all it'd take ? I thought I meant more to you than some bar of chocolate".

• You giggle at his response and squish his squirrel-like cute cheeks and tell him that you're just messing with him.

• "No no it's not done. I thought I was special to you but no it's your caramel chocolate that gets your love. I was just writing this love song for you, sitting beside you and getting inspired, but no, wait I'll change it into a diss track for you and your chocolates. It will be on our next album".

Felix

• He had been drafting an email to one of his endorsement offers and at your statement he looks up at you with innocent eyes, momentarily confused, and then pretends to be hurt.

• "What ? I bake you yummy brownies, I bring you snacks and I cuddle with you, but you're saying I'm secondary just because I don't come in a fancy wrapper ?"

• And you smile "innocently" at him and he's like "ok i forgive you this time only because you're cute and that wouldn't actually trade me for chocolate right ?", he asks, pulling you into a hug, setting his laptop aside.

• "Who knows Lixie, who knows ?", you wink.

Seungmin

• He looks up at you with a deadpan expression as he was folding his freshly washed laundry.

• "Chocolate ? That's all ? I guess I'll see myself out then".

• And you're like "I'm joking Minnie" and he raises an eyebrow.

• "No, no. Don’t backtrack now. You’ve made your choice. Enjoy your life with your chocolates while I’m off being amazing somewhere else."

• He later hands you a white chocolate bar and is like "Don't tell me I don't fulfill your wishes, doll".

Jeongin

• He looks up at you, both eyebrows raised, " what did you say ?"

• "You heard me Innie", you smirk.

• "You'd trade me for some chocolates ? Wow, do you hear yourself right now ? Are you out of your mind ? Chocolates ? I thought I was your special person but you've replaced me with a box of Dairy Milk ? Wow Y/N wow, unbelievable. I am so offended right now", he says as he pretend to sulk and shakes his head as you pulling him into a playful hug.

• He later hides your favourite chocolate and when you ask him about it he responds casually, "no more chocolates for you until you admit I'm better", giving you a cheeky grin.

A/ N : Hope you liked it. Do like, comment, reblog and follow if you did. Meanwhile you can find the rest of my masterlist here.

[fleurvi]

Sick!S/O | Arcane Women

request for arcane women with a sick gf

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characters: ambessa, caitlyn, grayson, mel, sevika, vi

cw: fem!reader

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Ambessa Medarda

Ambessa doesn't really take care of you when you're sick. She's a warrior, not a doctor. But we're delusional here, so I'll go with it.

You are not allowed to lift a finger. You need to recover properly so she'll have guards around you at all times so you can order them to get things for you. She visits you regularly to check up on your health and make sure you're being doted on. In a rare occurrence, she offers you a massage to relax you.

“How are you feeling?” Ambessa asks, heavy hands working against your shoulders and neck. You nod, thanking her for her service. “Maybe a bath would do you good.”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Caitlyn Kiramman

Cait panics. She can't think rationally at all. You cough once, and she's writing a eulogy. When she's sure it's not super serious, she's diligent in her care. She makes sure you stay hydrated and get plenty of rest.

“What are you doing? You should be resting,” says Cait as she notices you getting out of bed.

“Babe, c'mon”

“No. Don't you ‘babe’ me. You should be taking care of yourself,” She fusses, ushering you back to your bed.

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Grayson

Grayson believes that if you mope around In bed, you'll just make it worse. She lets you rest when you need it, but she encourages you just to take some painkillers, hydrate adequately and go about your work.

“Here you go,” Grayson says, handing you medication and water. “We've got a busy day. If it gets too much, just let me know, and I'll send you home to rest,” She says, pulling you into a hug and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Mel Medarda

She just wants you to get better. Mel checks up on you but doesn't spend much time with you because she doesn't want to catch whatever you have. When she does visit you, she makes sure to ask if you're getting what you need and making sure you get it. She's mostly concerned about you resting, so she stays with you, talking softly with you until you fall asleep.

“Are you sure you're okay, my love?” She asks, running her hands over your back.

“Yeah, I think I need to sleep off. Thank you for coming to visit,” you say, closing your eyes.

“You're welcome, My Love”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Sevika

Sevika loves you, but she's not going to baby you. She'll ask you if you're on your deathbed, and if the answer is no, then you can get off your ass and help her with whatever business she's been called on.

If you want Sevika to help you with anything, you've got to turn on the whining. She likes being useful, so if you really need it, she'll sit with you until you fall asleep, but she won't wait for you to wake up. You're tough, like her, so she leaves you to it until you wake up and are ready to get back to work.

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Vi

Vi thinks her immune system is “built different”, and she's not entirely wrong. She'll stay with you, hold you while you sleep, and make sure you eat as well as you can in Zaun. If you tell her you're not really hungry, she will lecture you until you give in and at least try to eat.

“C'mon, pretty girl,” Vi says, leaning in to kiss you. You feel gross and push her head away.

“You'll get sick”

“Babe. My immune system is made of steel. I've never gotten sick in my life. Now come here and give me a proper kiss,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Fine. If you get sick, I'm not gonna baby you.”

“Yes, you will”, she laughs, and you know she's right.

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Thank you for reading!

This was a request! My main interests right now are arcane and attack on titan so please keep dropping in my inbox!

[copperbadge]

Yesterday I did indeed end up choosing "lie in comfy bed" over painting, but that also meant I had a bit more energy for taking care of other business later in the day. And honestly, yesterday was kind of humid, so not the most ideal day for painting when I need it to dry quickly so the cats don't accidentally get paint on their fur.

But I filled some prescriptions, and got myself set up with a health screening, both of which I did in the evening although I don't like evening errands. It's been so long since I tried dating actively that I'd forgotten it's a thing you want to do, getting regular STI checks. I had hoped to do it walk-in but most clinics seemed super busy (I found myself thinking "maybe now that we're going into the be indoors months everyone's getting to fuckin?") so I've got an appointment for Saturday. (More mostly dating stuff under the cut.)

Things are moving along with Museum Date, if slowly, so it's just as well. And, wildly, I also have a breakfast date on Saturday morning with someone. This is something of an increase in my normal success rate of zero. Not sure what I'm doing differently but I'll take it.

I kind of suspect it might be that I tried different apps this time; the general consensus is that for liberal people my age, OKCupid or Tinder are best. They do offer more filter options in terms of who you're looking for and why, sometimes. But being permabanned on those two for not being a real person (yikes) forced me to look at some alternatives. And, while it's not the only app I'm on, it's fascinating to me that I've seen a lot more people I'd actually date on eHarmony.

I KNOW. It used to be that was a very white, conservative, Christian space, but it appears now that if you're above forty, still pretty lefty, and (crucially) have your shit together, it's a strong option. The "edgy mess" to "articulately self-confident" ratio is very different there to hipper apps, and while there's nothing wrong with not quite having your shit together in your forties, the number of people who seem to be deliberate and proud about not having done any work on themselves drops sharply. Possibly too because there's really not much you can do on that one without paying, and paying indicates a level of both commitment to realness and financial stability.

Plus, cougars. I'm not immune. I don't have much interest in anyone younger than about forty, but I don't mind an age gap above it.

In any case both I and the other people I see on the apps I've drifted towards seem to know more who we are and what we want so maybe it's just maturity, I don't know. I see less "game" stuff like car selfies to prove you have a car and more "pictures with kids because you should be aware I have some".

Still, I'm not gonna lie, getting to know two whole entire new people in one month is kind of stressful. I wouldn't call myself committed to monogamy and I don't mind being involved with poly folk as long as it's all aboveboard, but having multiple regular partners sounds frankly exhausting. You guys have fun, imma take a nap.

[judeable-brainrot]

gonna leave this here

alpha!patrick with human art roommate patrick goes into rut art offers to help cause he’s just so nice. it was supposed to be only handjobs and things get heated.

MMMMMM YUMMM

Art who comes back from practice one day to Patrick humping his pillows desperately, whining and sweating. he gazes back at Art, barely enough energy to throw a blanket over himself to shield Art from his bare body, so Art just turns away instead, face beet red. it's quiet in the dorm the next few days, embarrassment and shame eating away at both of them as they avoid each other. Art had known about the rut's alpha's suffered, and he knew what he was getting into rooming with one, but he didn't expect things to turn so quickly. so the silence stayed, until one night when they're just sitting in silence and Patrick starts to shift restlessly in bed, whimpering softly.

"Art.." Patrick whimpers. Art looks over at him, watching him writhe in his bed. "please man..please.." And who is Art to deny him when he sees his best friend struggling. Sees the need, the pain on his face. So, he pushes out of his bed and moves to Patrick, sitting on the edge. "What do you want me to do..?" Patrick whines, sitting up and resting his head into his shoulder. "anything..anything, please god." Art swallows and reaches down to the straining bulge in Patrick's pants, palming him tentatively. Patrick's hips jolt instantly, a ragged breath ripping from his lips. "yeah..god, don't stop.." Art keeps going, palming him with more force while Patrick moans and mouths at the skin of his neck.

Eventually, Art finds his courage and slips his hand into Patrick's sweats, then under his boxers to take him into his hand properly. Patrick moans louder. "fuck..." Art shushes him. "someone will hear." Patrick groans but quiets down as Art removes his hand to spit in his palm before returning to his swollen cock and beginning to stroke in earnest. Patrick whines and nuzzles against Art's shoulder to muffle his noises. Art speeds up, thumbing his head with every pass, his own breathing growing heavy, cock straining against his shorts, creating a damp spot in his briefs.

He feels a hand on it after a moment and jolts, looking at Patrick. "let me..c'mon. you deserve some attention too." he breathes out, kissing at Art's throat. Art moans and lets him continue, hearing him spit in his hand and place it on his cock. He continues working his own hand faster, feeling Patrick's cock pulse and swell, his knot forming. "w-What is that..?" he asks. "my knot...just ignore it, it won't hurt you.." Art nods, groaning as Patrick thumbs his head. they go like that for what feels like hours, jerking each other furiously, Patrick mouthing at his throat until he moans higher than the others. "ah! oh god..Art-I'm gonna..shit..!" Art nods, pressing his forehead against Patrick's. "me too...oh god, Pat.." right as they both reach the peak, Patrick surges forward and kisses him, hot and open-mouthed and sloppy.

it sends Art flying over the edge so hard he sees white, mouth hung open in a silent cry, spilling hard into his shorts and Patrick's hand. he feels him do the same, moaning his name against his lips breathlessly as he cums rope after rope after rope over his fist, knot deflating. they pant against each other, spent and hot, until Art comes to his senses and forces himself up from the bed, stumbling to the bathroom. "Art..?" Patrick calls breathlessly. "Yeah?" "..thanks.."

[dumpsterfire-daydreams]

TW: Sexual content, Oral Sex, TW: Rough Sex, Tight fit, Doggy style, TW: Choking during sex, Deepthroating, Aftercare

(proofreads chapter) ...I want to go to there

In all seriousness though, have fun~ 💅👀

Reader POV:

Ghost's smirk widened as he reveled in his newly acquired status. But his gaze softened ever so slightly when he saw you nervously chew your lip. Though you were beyond excited yourself, you were still shocked by the unexpected turn of events. And he could tell from the look in your eyes that this latest development was a lot to take in. You'd gone from exclusive, to open, to choosing a third all in one day! With that in mind, he made his next approach a bit gentler than his norm. He wanted you so badly. That was undeniable. But he also didn’t want to overwhelm you. He wanted to be absolutely sure this is what you wanted right now.

"So," he hummed, brushing his thumb over your cheek. "Now that nothings stopping us. You sure you want this? I'm no König. I won't hold back, be patient, or be gentle. And if you can't handle that, you should walk away. But if you can, I will make it worth your while. What's it gonna be, princess?"

Your mind was still spinning a bit, but Ghost was right. There was nothing stopping you from saying yes. All three of you were okay with it. And now that you were finally able to admit it to yourself, you could tell from the wetness between your thighs that you were more than okay with what Ghost was offering you. So you didn't need words to answer. All it took was maintaining his gaze and letting your robe silently fall to the floor.

A low growl of approval rumbled in Ghost’s chest, the dangerous fire flickering back into his eyes as he spoke. "On your fucking knees. Now."

You sank to the floor, kneeling before the lieutenant, mouth practically watering with anticipation. Just the memory of the previous night drove you wild. But this time, it wasn’t going to be rushed. This wasn’t going to be tentative. This would be hot and heavy, him claiming you full force. And God, you wanted to feel what that was like.

"You look so pretty on your knees for me, princess," he growled. "On your knees begging for some cock."

Ghost kept his eyes on you as he gripped his erection in his hand. He moaned softly as he stroked himself, letting the head of his cock hover in front of your face. Its tip was already dripping with anticipation and the sight made you lick your lips, eager to taste him.

"Such a pretty little mouth, too. Let's put it to better use, yeah?" Ghost hissed, shoving the head of his cock against your lips. "No teeth. Or I'll make you regret it."

As you obediently opened your mouth, Ghost pushed himself past your lips with a deep moan. The texture of your tongue massaged the underside of his cock as he progressed. You tried to focus on letting your throat go slack as he fed more and more of himself into your mouth. Drops of precum quickly mixed with your saliva, filling your mouth with his taste. He tasted of musk with a hint of salty sweetness. But when you felt his length lodge against the back of your throat, no level of focus could stop your gag reflex from kicking in. Hands pressed against his thighs in panic, you screwed your eyes shut and tried to back off. But Ghost just fisted his hand in your curls and pulled you right back, undeterred as you choked and gasped for breath.

"Through your nose," he groaned, lost in the wet warmth. "Breathe. You can take me."

The stretching sensation made your eyes water. Your jaw was as wide as it could go. But it was clear Ghost wasn't planning to stop. He'd given you guidance, and it was up to you to take it. And given the choice between listening to him or passing out, listening was most preferable. You took a deep breath through your nose, focusing only on consistently breathing in and out as he ventured further. It was only once you'd gotten that down that you could add overpowering the urge to choke to your list of mental tasks.

With a strangled moan, Ghost finally bottomed out and buried your face flush against his groin. Your throat twitched around his length, threatening to spasm again. But you fought the instinct as you felt him begin to move. He was impossibly far down your throat, the sheer fullness almost uncomfortable as your throat stretched to accommodate his girth. If he felt this big in your mouth, you could only imagine how he'd feel elsewhere.

"Good girl," he moaned, gazing down at you through his lashes. "Such a good girl, taking all that cock in your mouth. Bloody hell. Look up at me."

He pulled out a bit, scrambling for his phone and opening the camera.

"Eyes up," he ordered before slowly thrusting just as deep as before. You obediently stared up into the lens of the camera. But adding just that one task caused your careful focus to falter. You couldn't stop your eyes from glazing over and rolling back in your head as you let out a gurgled choke.

"Fuck," he groaned, shuddering as your throat twitched around him. Every gag gave his cock a delectable squeeze, spurring him into a faster pace.

"You should see yourself right now," he purred to the camera, hand almost trembling as he filmed the erotic scene. "Those pretty lips wrapped around my cock like that? Jesus Christ, princess."

He frantically saved the footage and abandoned his phone in favor of a better grip on you. With both hands clutching the back of your head, he found the perfect control needed to really start ramming himself down your throat. Every few thrusts, he'd gasp and crush your face against his groin. He'd hold you there as long as he could, enjoying the way your throat twitched in sync with your choked whimpers. But he always let you up just when your lungs began desperately screaming for oxygen.

"Fuck, you're such a good girl," he growled, panting above you. After a few more firm thrusts, Ghost finally pulled out. His chest heaved with ragged breaths as he watched the shimmering string of saliva that dangled between you, bridging the gap between his cock and your lips. Though a deep and unobstructed inhale had never felt so good, his absence simultaneously left you wanting for more. And he clearly felt the same way. He was practically ravishing you with his eyes, no doubt running through every possible way to ruin you and leave you a quivering mess. When he hoisted you up by your bicep and steered you across the shower, you knew he had finally decided just how he wanted to stake his claim on you. In you.

He dragged you along to the center of the shower, hastily pushing you onto your hands and knees. The hardness of the tile was unforgiving as you fell on all fours, but that detail didn't distract you for very long. Ghost crouched behind you, gripping the crease of your hip in one hand. He kept it pressed against his own as his palm bore down between your shoulder blades. And he didn't stop pushing until your chest was flat against the floor. Once satisfied with your posture, Ghost grasped both your wrists in one hand, stretching your arms out over your head until you lay prone in his shadow.

You gasped with anticipation when you felt the fat head of his cock prod your entrance. He hadn't even entered you yet. But though his length was still liberally lubed from before and an obscene amount of wetness dripped from your folds, just that initial contact made you brace for an excruciatingly tight fit. Ghost didn’t push in, though. Not yet. Once he was aligned, he stretched himself out over your back, supporting himself with a hand gripping each of your wrists.

"Here's what's gonna happen," Ghost hissed in your ear. "I'm gonna fuck that tight little twat of yours raw. Right here, right now. And you're gonna be a good girl and take every fucking inch I give you. I'm gonna fuck you so deep you'll feel it for weeks. And maybe, if I'm feeling generous, I'll let you cum on my cock."

Every word out of his mouth earned an increasingly needy whimper from you. He clearly knew just what to say to stoke your lust to a raging fire. Because it was working instantly.

In one fluid motion, he rammed himself into your slick heat with a guttural snarl of pleasure. You let out a strangled moan, your whole body rocking forward at the impact. And before you could attempt to prepare, he backed out and did it again. And again. He was definitely bigger than König. And thicker, too. You grunted as he impaled you again, every re-entry making your sex bulge and throb as it stretched to its full limit. The sensations danced between pain and pleasure as he built a wild pace.

"Ghost!" You whimpered between gasps. "Ghost, slow down!"

"I don't take orders from you," he gritted his teeth, growling loudly as your walls gripped him from all sides.

Each word was punctuated with a brutal snap of his hips that seemed to force the air from your lungs. This was an entirely different meaning of the word "full". This was the kind of fullness you could feel in your stomach. The kind of fullness that you could probably see in your stomach, too. You went into this well aware that he wouldn't be gentle. But at this rate, he was going to break you in half.

"Ah! Ghost, please!"

"Aw, what's wrong?" he huffed, groaning at your tightness. "Can't handle some cock?"

Having found his desired pace, Ghost readjusted his hold. Seizing your throat in a vise-like grip for leverage, he leaned back and began pounding away at your cervix.

"That's it. Fucking take it," he yanked you back to meet every bruising thrust, his voice low and husky behind you. "Let me wreck your fucking guts. Gonna ruin your tight little cunt. God, I'm gonna stretch you out so good. Gonna make you mine."

"Oh, fuck! Fuck!" You whined as pleasure began to rage deep within you, easily overshadowing any registry of pain. As depraved as it was, his vulgar words only drove that pleasure deeper. The roughness. The dominance. The fullness. Him etching himself into your depths to leave his mark. All of it was mixing into a heady arousal. And from the increasingly wet sounds, you knew a fresh wave of your excitement was starting to flow down your thighs. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh echoed through the room. But Ghost was making no effort to be quiet.

The sounds that were coming out of him. He sounded wild, animalistic, possessed even. It stirred something deep within you. Something raw and primal. Craning your neck back further, you could see just how unhinged he'd become. His eyes were aflame with pure lust, his gaze burning into your skin and focused on the way your body quaked with every roll of his hips. His chest heaved with ragged breaths, a light sheen of sweat glistening on his skin. You could see every muscle of his abdomen ripple and flex with each thrust. His arms bulged as he tightened his hold, unwilling to grant you even an inch of escape.

Ghost's eyes shot up to meet your blatant stare. And seeing his unfiltered lust behind the mask? All while his length pummeled your core? The sight alone made you spasm into an instant release. You came with a strangled cry, an eruption of wetness trickling down Ghost’s thighs as a result.

"God! Fuck me," Ghost groaned, throwing his head back as your heat ruthlessly constricted and sucked at his cock. He gritted his teeth, riding out the stuttered spasms of your climax "Jesus, you're so tight. Shit!"

His body fell over you, tilting your hips and pressing you down under his weight as he chased his own sweet reward. That slight adjustment altered his angle, allowing him to somehow go even deeper. All you could do was moan at the onslaught. Overstimulation was quickly settling in as he buried his face in your neck. But it surged to new heights when Ghost sank his teeth into your shoulder.

"Mmm! Ghost!" You screamed. It was much louder than intended, but you couldn't keep quiet anymore. The mind-numbing pleasure you felt wouldn't allow it.

"That's it, just like that," Ghost growled between desperate pants, hot air flooding the side of your face with each word. "Let me hear you, princess. Fucking scream my name while I fill you to the brim."

"Oh my god, Ghost! Ghost!"

Your last word morphed into a whimpered cry of release as a second orgasm seized your body. And after a series of low grunts, you felt him twitch within you as he followed close behind. Molten heat gushed into your depths, filling every available space before quickly running out and streaming down your thighs. His pace slowed to firm, precise thrusts as he moaned through his climax. And with one final rush of warmth, he finally went still and collapsed above you.

The two of you laid there for quite a while, savoring the blissful aftershock of pleasure. Ghost panted from sheer exertion, supporting most of his weight on his forearms so as not to crush you. You went limp beneath him, no strength left as you gasped for breath.

"You okay?" He breathed, coming down from his high.

"Mmmm," you gave a weak nod, your head still firmly in the clouds. Beyond that, all you could muster were sighs of pure bliss.

Ghost rolled onto his side, tugging you against his chest and cradling you in his arms. You never would have pegged him as the type for aftercare. And, as was seeming to be his style, it was still a tad distant. But knowing just how closed off he was, even this small gesture went a long way. Lying there with his arms wrapped around you, you had not a single complaint.

"My sweet girl," he trailed his thumb over your cheek, chuckling into your hair. "Didn't I tell you I'd make it worth your while?"

I know this story includes some pretty intense themes. But at the end of the day, I care more about the well-being of my readers than I do for hits or kudos. Period. I never want my writing to conjure up emotions or feelings that negatively impact you beyond the story. This story is intended strictly for fun and fantasy. If at any point along the way it stops being a pleasurable experience, please please close this page and walk away. My stories are never worth your well-being, loves.

[gruesomejack]

He laughed; he couldn't help it. Rabbit's face was red from the rush of emotion, his face sticky with tears. Rubbing his cheek against Alex's hand, he quickly nodded as if his demands were only the most logical thing in the world. It wasn't like he disagreed-- Not even a little. He didn't want to go another day without Alex in it and he was going to make damn sure it never happened. The job was already offered, but he wanted more than that too. His bottled up anger had ripped their chance at being something together straight from their hands, and with Alex so close, he hoped it'd been given back. And this time he wouldn't fuck it up.

Rabbit ducked and bumped their foreheads together, and that alone offered him part of the relief he'd been seeking for years. Only a moment later, he was lifting his chin and taking Alex's lips for his own, finally giving in after ten years too long. He kept his arms around him, though one slipped up to hold his jaw. They both tasted like salt from their crying, but beneath that was something so sweet, it made him shudder. No kiss he ever shared with anyone felt the same-- This was like being snapped together, like the other half of him had finally come back to him. Rabbit only pulled away when he was forced to, knocking their temples together as he tried to catch his breath.

Laughing again, soft and airy, he turned his cheek to press his nose into Alex's cheek, leaving another kiss against his jaw. And then another and another, until nuzzled against his pulse. The hand around his back slipped, ducking his fingers under the hem of his shirt just to brush over his skin. He felt sixteen again, like touching him was brand new, and he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Rabbit left a soft bruise of a kiss against his skin before picking his head up again to look at him. A few frizzy curls had escaped the bun he'd tied to the back of his head, framing his pink, smiling face. "Alex.." He teased, tracing his thumb to his chin and pressing it into the dimple there. "If you don't give me some sort of red light, I'm gonna fix a ten year mistake right here."

Prescott. It didn't matter where he saw the name or the context of it, his mind always wandered back to one person. Chris had been his best, and only real friend he had. Out of everything he wanted to leave behind in that damn town, she wasn't part of it. He'd tried to keep in contact-- A letter here and there as him and the band moved around; he even tried sending her tickets to their first real gig, but he'd never gotten a response in return. She didn't show, and since then he'd just... kept her in his thoughts and hoped she was doing well for herself. Chris had always been so smart and headstrong; he could imagine her not being successful.

That's why when he was invited to a studio for an interview, he accepted. The journalist's surname had been Prescott. It was a dumb reason to agree, but he couldn't help the way it tugged at his chest.

Rabbit thanked the assistant that walked him to the room. Letting himself inside, he took a seat in one of the chairs and tucked a long curl behind his ear. Nervous, he picked at one of the bracelets on his wrist. It was still so strange. He'd gone from being the kid everyone pushed around or ignored to some sort of big shot that people were begging to talk to. The best revenge was living well, wasn't it? And he was certainly better off than he was with the Bakers.

The door creaked open again, and Rabbit peeked over his shoulder, a polite smile plastered onto his face. -- One that fell just after a moment, his brows twitching as his expression shifted. That face was familiar. Too familiar. There was a time when he'd been... confused about his sexuality and harbored feelings for Chris. She'd been tall and broad and boyish, and he'd been deeply attracted to it. The man that walked in to sit across from him was-- It had to be her. Him? Had she transitioned? The thought left him elated for her, but the rest of it made him anxious and confused. What was going on here?

Staring at the face opposite of him, Rabbit shrunk into himself. He glanced away and started to fidget. He wanted to be happy, but Chris had dodged every attempt to contact him. Why did he want to talk now? "It's been a while..."

@purposefully-lost

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[pokimoko]

I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.

[gibbearish]

the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice

[dufferpuffer]

I have some things to say about this - things I've been thinking about for ages, so I'm gonna spill here I hope you don't mind:

~~ Blood supremacy has ALWAYS been pretty big. ~~

Since well before the Statue of Secrecy 1693. Before the statute Wizards weren't secret. Some people were known for doing odd things - and they kept being hunted for it. Small scale "The odd man on the edge of town made a drink that cured my husband of Gout... but the drought this winter is probably his fault too, so lets kill him" all the way to... well the, Puritan Witch Hunts that lead to the Statue of Secrecy.

Lest we forget Sir Nicolas de Mimsy-Porpington, a KNIGHTED member of the royal court, had his wand immediately taken and was sentenced to death... just for accidentally giving a lady a tusk. Locked in a dungeon cell, crying out he could fix it if they let him - he wasn't even given the dignity of a sharp axe blade: 45 hits before he died. It was quite easy to loose the trust of Muggles...

...and yet, there were long, wealthy 'Most Ancient' families taking pride in their magical lineage - recorded and celebrated for centuries. Aristocrats in Muggle society. Because they were not separate.

Not until the Statute of Secrecy. The freshly reinstated Monarchy refused to protect Magical people... so they all hid away. This is great for the peasants who were being killed - but what of the Most Ancient families who were managing quite well...? It wasn't such a good thing for them.

200 years later, the 1890's, when Dumbledore was attending Hogwarts - most of the major Pureblood families are lessened. Dying out with fewer and fewer heir's, poorer than they 'deserve' to be, barely hold any real power over society anymore... All because they can no longer rule over Muggles as easily. The Malfoy's invest in Muggle currency and assets (and taking neighboring Muggle land) to keep up their riches, keeping up that old tradition of using Muggles to keep their place in society - but even they have needed to breed with Half-Bloods in order to avoid interbreeding issues that plagued the Gaunts to extinction.

It's the early 1900s, Muggles seem to rule the world while Wizards are pushed into corners, the Pure-bloods watching their influence fade... Better yet, soon the Muggles start having a Great War with eachother that spans most of Europe - so terrible even Wizards get involved.

Some young talented bloke called Gellert Grindelwald starts rallying people under the idea that Wizards should rule over Muggles. It was quite popular, and devastating. Remember: Krum said he (and others) beat up kids who started wearing the Hallows symbol around the school to be edgy, as he himself had lost family to Grindelwald. Krum punches nazi's :^) 1945 - Albus defeated his ex. 1945. Tom's LAST year at school.

He had already killed people, already made Horcruxs', already made a gang of Pureblood buddies - most of whom probably thought Gellert Grindelwald was pretty cool and correct. It wasn't his tragic Pureblood lineage and Snake-tongue so much as the fact Purebloods were ITCHING to return to the 'Glory Days'.

Tom didn't invent any of the things he preaches. He was using the hot issues and concerns of the day to his advantage. A true politician.

...He is also very good at running cults, because he manages to weave quite opposing ideals together: + Purebloods are better than everyone else... ...Yet talent is still recognized. Half-Bloods and even Muggleborns are allowed into his inner circle. + He will make a world rules by Wizards... ...but offers space for 'dirty' beings society rejects. Giants, who have faced Genocide, and Werewolves, are offered land and purpose.

~~ Parseltongue is a language ~~

Sorry lol it just is a language. Ron learns a word or two from Harry and uses it to open the Chamber.

When it comes to Magical and non-Magical animals... its not a binary. Some animals are more magical than other animals. Pigs are notoriously hard to charm because they are very non-magical... unlike owls and cats, who can be very sensitive to magic. We see owls basically talk to Wizards all the time in body language. Cats, too - Sirius even talks to one, seeming an innate ability.

Snakes are likely in this camp. They are magically sensitive animals, who can talk effortlessly to Wizards whose magic vibes with theirs.

Once again thinking about the fact that Tom Riddle was able to gain power starting in school and the implications of it:

• Blood supremacy wasn’t as prevalent during his time, and maybe it was Tom Riddle’s own influence as Voldemort using blood supremacy as his platform that made it worse

• Blood supremacy was still as common, but always takes backseat to family connections, if he didn’t have that connection to Slytherin then maybe he never would’ve gained power

(In this case, there should be so much about them going wild for Harry then, being that he’s also a parselmouth)

• It was only because it was a connection to Slytherin that he was able to raise to power, if it had been a different bloodline then no one would’ve cared, which makes sense, Hogwarts is clearly so important to Magical Britain, personal connections to the Founders would be a huge deal

• It was just the parselmouth ability specifically, a magic that can’t be copied by anyone else, which also makes sense because they’re all so fucking obsessed with the idea of being naturally better than non purebloods that an ability that can only be inherited sounds like something they’d be drawn in by

(Real quick note, I hate when fics have someone learn parseltongue or treat it like an actual language, why tf would snakes (including common snakes because it’s a non-magic snake that Harry first talks to, and we can assume Riddle wasn’t running into magic snakes either at the orphanage) have a language you can learn. you’re breaking my immersion. Parselmouth only makes sense as a family ability, that’s why Harry hears it as just English, he’s not really speaking a different language, he’s using a magical ability, that’s why I think there also shouldn’t be words that don’t translate into parselmouth, yeah it makes sense if the snakes don’t understand specific words, but it shouldn’t be its own language!! It’s not like we’re only talking about magic snakes!!!)

(Also again, if it’s just the parselmouth ability they go crazy for, more people should be secretly excited by Harry having that ability)

• Tom Riddle is just a scarily competent cult leader and every modern setting of him should just be him running a different kind of cult

[kate-apologist]

.

[tonyglowheart]

the "having the new car" part is very cool I will admit. even the dumb phone app that's subscription based but they give you 1 year complementary to hook you ig

it's the everything else you still gotta deal with after buying the car that is sulking for me lmao, like, so much happened and I kind of just had to trust that I wasn't signing stupid shit. And also I gotta check the paper copies they gave me and see if I was supposed to receive some additional documents thru email or if they already gave it to me. and then figure out the online account for the financing (though I may need to wait for the letter in the mail...?). and decide if I try to pay it off right away or keep it open for a bit, like how much of an impact on my credit score would it be to open it and then close it right away (sidebar: it's such bullshit that paying off a loan lowers your credit score because "you closed an account." if anything that should IMPROVE your score. How is paying min payments on time proof you can meet payments but paying off early not proof you can repay loans. fake-ass garbo). and still figure out insurance lmao... though hopefully my parents will help me w that like they said they would (I got a quote for a solo policy lmao and mother was like, that's too much, it's less to add it to the existing plan (tho I'd have to add one of them to the title for that, and I'd have to pay off the loan before I can do that or else they'd have to get added to the loan too)).

and THEN I gotta give the guy a good review bc he offered me the car for msrp no markup lmao, which my mother still thinks is too high but okay mother things right now are So Very Different from when you last bought a car in 2014, supply had been way down due to supply chain redirects and the used car market is hot though cooling down, and apparently dealerships are pivoting their strategies and aren't filling lots with cars that they then have to lower prices on to move (literally was on the radio today, so by the time it's hit the news it's already well underway to being done that way). I think the car I looked at, it was the only one in the area in that color actually lol, and the TrueCar price was like, maybe $50 under MSRP, and like at that rate I didn't feel like I had leverage to bargain the price unless I played hard to get lmao, but I'd have to have gone in with that attitude which I didn't.

[medicinemane]

.

[confused-beany]

Okay so, I think I didn't phrase this correctly. I didn't mean to say that it's the ease you show with your work that I admire. I admire the dedication and determination you put into learning new things.

The thing you said about vision and pain is so so accurate. It actually kinda baffles me to see you put it into words so well because one time I tried explaining it to my friend how making art hurts me and they didn't really get it. The point is that I know it hurts to make art, if not physically then emotionally or in other ways. And art is absolutely 100% not effortless and I would never dare to assume that any artist doesn't hurt in some way to make their art, even when it brings them joy.

But anyway, THAT fear of imbalance between vision and pain and the fear of encountering the pain before I realize my vision or get close enough to it is what holds me back from attempting the things I really want to do. And that's what I was talking about when I said YOU DO IT. I meant in the sense that you are aware of the pain and hurdles you might face and the amount of time and dedication that might just go to waste and you still TRY. You have the courage and determination to make things that may not realize your vision completely but you still faced your pain in manageable ways. You compromised and came out of that experience with something improved, something learned. And I am in awe of your resilience and determination to keep going at even if you do hit the bricks. THAT'S the thing I admire the most, that you're not afraid to fall as you learn waking so you can run later and fly eventually. If that makes sense.

And YES YES art is so scary and painful and most days I think why do it at all if it just hurts. But we really can't help it huh.

One of the many things I really admire about you is how you DO things. You want to make a comic, you do it. You want to make an edit, you go and do it. You wanna do gifs, you figure out how to do it. You're constantly setting a goal and seeing it through and learning and growing as you go. And I admire that so so much because that's honestly not easy (at least it isn't for me). And I just wanted to let you know that

WOW I’ve never received an ask that made me pace around the room so much!! Thank you for telling me!! Forgive me for rambling in this response but I want to talk about the creation process a little bit— at least how I personally experience it.

Every project, no matter how large or small, is largely a fight between vision and pain. If my vision beats out my pain, I finish the project; if the pain becomes too unbearable, I hit the bricks (willingly or not).

Pain can mean a lot of things. It can mean frustration and dissatisfaction with your work in progress— a lack of technical skill that you can visibly see. It can mean the fear of ruining your vision by putting it down on paper. It can be the feeling that what you’re doing doesn’t matter. And in the context of this ask especially, it can be running headlong into wall after wall while learning how to use a new software.

I suck at learning new software. The learning curve for me is often so steep it feels untenable at times. Why can’t I do the simplest things? Why can’t anyone teach it to me in a way I can understand? I don’t even know if this YouTube video will teach me what I want to learn. And you’re saying I’ve got to watch 20 minutes of it to even see if it’s what I’m looking for?

I need you to know that for everything even remotely complete, even if it’s a work in progress, is built on a mountain of failures, of incomplete works, of past trials and tribulations. What I have of the music video for the SCP antimemetics division, built painstakingly in one of the most inaccessible and unfriendly video editing softwares, AVIUtl, dragged itself out of earthen trenches so that my music video for Pathologic could crawl pathetically. And that paved the way for the bits and pieces of the Kekkaishi music video, which walked so that the things I do for BIRDMEN could run.

I don’t think it’s really as simple as saying, “You want to make a comic, you do it.”

I think if I had never done any comics before in my life, I’d be so fucking frustrated with the process. But because I’ve been drawing comics since middle school, because I drew things and gave up and drew more things and gave up more, I was able to learn the language of comics by the time I entered high school, and by the time I entered college I had fought tooth and nail to learn how to use digital art softwares (I sulked a lot about this. I hated that everything I learned about making manga traditionally became essentially obsolete. I sulked soooo much about it it was unreal. don’t be like me).

That’s why I could finally, at that point, after almost 6 or 7 years of drawing, finally finish a 16-page oneshot for the first time in my life. Because I had hundreds and hundreds of pages of shitty pencil sketches of catgirls and schoolboys and what have yous. And knowing I could do that let me push myself further. I said to myself, I bet I could draw a story longer than 16 pages. I bet I could draw a story that’s 100. And I did. I had to sacrifice vision so I wouldn’t encounter so much pain, but I did it. And that’s why I think I can draw 600 pages now. Because it doesn’t hurt so much anymore, these days.

That’s not to say that drawing comics for me is an entirely painless process. It just means that the only thing I’m fighting is my self-esteem and perfectionism for the most part. I think my technical skills won’t fail me, not for panelling, not for compositions, not for art. It’s all about convincing myself that what I’m doing is worth it. Not the easiest, but certainly much less painful than having to fight that PLUS technical woes.

I think I understand what you’re going through, just a little bit. Maybe you don’t experience things exactly as I do, but I think you’re going through a lot of pain right now. That you have a vision, but you have trouble carrying out, whether it’s because of technical issues, unfamiliarity with the medium, a fear of beginning something you won’t end up finishing, or something else entirely. I don’t have too much sage advice for what to do here, but I want to assure you that what I do isn’t nearly as effortless as you might perceive it to be.

I want to take this chance and say to you that just from looking through your archives I can see that you’ve improved so so so much over the years. You draw often, you do lots of character design work, you’ve got a lovely and distinctive style. I know you mentioned one time that you wanted to draw a webcomic— and I say do it! Just dive into it.

The reason it took me so long to get to my level of competence in comics is because I had to reverse engineer a lot of shit. I used to draw things panel by panel, until I wanted a 2-page spread and realized, “Shit! I have to plan and pace out my story so that everything before the 2-page spread comes to a neat end on the left-hand page!” I used to freehand dialogue until I grew so frustrated with the fact that conversations seemed to constantly go off the rails that I realized, “Yikes, I gotta script this out beforehand...”

And so on and so forth. And maybe you’ll feel like you’ve wasted time and love on something that isn’t good, but just DOING things will teach you so, so much. It’s okay if what you make is bad. You can always start over, do it better this time.

This offer goes out to you, but really it goes out to any of my mutuals— if you ever want to talk about making stuff, whether it’s illustrations or writing or storyboarding, I’m always down. Whether you want technical advice or simple encouragement, feel free to reach out to me. I love seeing what other people are doing, and I know it’s really frustrating and scary to feel out a path by yourself when you feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing.

Art is so scary. It’s so painful. But even so, we can’t help but want to carry through with it, right?

[poguehearted77]

Baby Steps

Summary: You and Rafe are expecting your first child and decide to take a trip to the beach, not expecting to be joined by a guest with chubby cheeks and pull ups.

-some more domesticated rafe as per your request-

The golden hues of the late afternoon sun stretch across the horizon, casting a warm glow over the beach as you and Rafe arrive. You smile at the feeling of the hot sand between your toes.

The waves lazily lap against the shore, creating a serene soundtrack to your special day. It was a beautiful day out, for sure. With the cooler gripped in one hand, with the umbrella on top, and the box containing a special mini cake in his other hand, Rafe is already in full preparation mode.

“Here, let me help with that,” you offer, but Rafe shakes his head, his grin both charming and determined. "You're already carrying something valuable, let me handle the rest, okay?" Rafe reassures you as he places the items down in a nice vacated space.

Far enough from the waves to not get wet, but close enough to still hear the water cracking against the sand at an amplified volume as the perfect white noise for you to do some beach reading. You glance down at your rounded belly, letting your left hand rest over the precious cargo he's referring to.

"I'm only four months, babe. I can still carry things. Just let me help you set up at least." You hold onto the muscle of his upper arm with a soft frown and he can't resist. An idea visibly dawned upon him. "Yeah, you know what." He props open the cooler and pulls out a chilled bottle of water, "I need you to drink this, I don't want you to get too hot."

Your eyes roll and you take the bottle, about to ease yourself down onto the beach chair when Rafe is suddenly behind you, a guiding palm on your lower back to lighten your load as you sit down. "Rafe, you're joking, right? I know how to sit down by myself." You huff and he sees you're starting to get frustrated.

He crouches down to be near you, "Look, baby. I'm sorry, okay? It's all just so new to me and I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby especially not if I can help it." Your arms unfold, and your composure melts under his apologetic gaze.

How could you be mad at him? He was just so cute and excited to be a dad, he wanted to make sure you had the safest, most comfortable pregnancy possible, and he made sure of that at all times. He set up everything while you didn't lift a finger.

You'd even slipped into a light nap as he did so. Waking up under the shade of the beach umbrella and almost certain there was an extra layer of sunscreen on your arms that wasn't there before.

Your towels laid out on the sand in front of you where Rafe knelt, the cake now put away in the cooler as he organized the supplies in the first-aid kit he insisted on bringing along.

"Is this all you're gonna do all day?" You mumble, lifting up your sun hat a bit to see him better and he smiles. "Well, you fell asleep on me, so I was keeping myself busy." Taking that as your cue to stand, leaving your hat behind on the chair and untying the flowy coverup you'd been wearing.

"I'm up now, let's get in the water." He's right behind you as your heels kick up sand with your eager steps to the ocean. Your laughs blend harmoniously in the water. Playful splashes and stolen kisses fill your afternoon for the next hour until you're ready for lunch.

Now Rafe was lounging under the shade, sunglasses covering his sky-blue eyes as he relaxed on the chair. Meanwhile, you enjoyed the warm sun kissing your skin as you sat on the towel, preparing some sandwiches for you both to share.

That brings you to now, the two of you sitting on the sandy towels with satiated appetites and a pleased smile on your faces, enjoying each other's company. "You ready now?" Rafe proposes, referring to the mini cake in the cooler which had either a pink or blue filling. You shake your head.

"Not yet, I need more time." He laughs, "At this rate, you'll find out when the baby comes." He says casually and your brow arches, "Only me? Don't you mean the both of us?" His head shakes, "Uh uh, I'm eating that cake with or without you." He jokes and you swat at him, causing him to spill some water from the bottle he was sipping before putting it away.

His attention was stolen from you and focused on something behind you, before you could even turn your head, Rafe's reflexes are shown as his arms reach out for the tumbling toddler who'd tripped over the uneven terrain and it seems she'd been running at a pace faster than her chunky legs could keep up with.

"Woah! Hey there, pudding," The nickname rolls off Rafe's tongue so naturally you hardly even recognize it, she looks up at him from within his stronghold. "Hi!" She waves and Rafe smiles so big it warms your heart to see.

"Where are your parents?" He follows up but she busies herself with the chain around his neck, blabbering the words 'Dada' in the sweetest voice you'd ever heard.

Rafe's eyes crinkle at the corners with his smile as he looks at you, mouthing the words, "She's so cute" and you mouth back, "I know," "I wonder where her parents are." You say, checking the tag on her swim top for any signs of identification but nothing. The two of you stand, the toddler hanging off Rafe's side, having the time of her life with a cheeky smile.

The two of you paced the beach, up and down. "I know her parents are worried sick," You mutter, checking your phone for any services you can contact for a 'lost baby on the beach please help!'

"If they don't come back, do you think we can keep her?" Rafe inquires and you laugh, "It's probably every parent's nightmare to hear a stranger say that as you're holding their missing child." You say, stopping in your tracks and placing your hands on your back with a sigh, worn out from all the walking.

"Are you okay?" Rafe checks in and you nod, "Maybe we should just go back and wait? Her parents might be walking around too and we keep missing them." Rafe agrees and the three of you walk back to your place on the beach, each of you holding her hand as she had insisted on being put down.

You kept her busy once you returned to your spot, building sand castles and giving her some water and sunscreen to keep her hydrated and protected from the slowly setting sun.

"How old are you?" Rafe laughs at your attempts to have full conversations with who he assumes is a two-year-old, but your guess was three. "Me Ava." She says and your eyes widen. Your initial question remained unanswered but now you had other answers.

"Ava! Hi Ava!" You coo, tickling her tummy until she's a bundle of fits and giggles, completely oblivious to the longing look Rafe has on you. "Tummy!" She says, and you laugh, not sure what she's talking about until she places a hand on your belly. "Big tummy!" She repeats and Rafe can't help but stifle a laugh at her direct observation.

"That's right. There's a baby in here." You explain but her head tilts, lost. "Baby?" You gave the soft waves of her hair a gentle pat, admiring her innocence, "Yep, it's either a girl baby or a boy baby." To your surprise, she begins chanting for a 'boy baby'. "See, Ava gets it." Rafe teases, always taking the opportunity to talk about having the boy he so desperately begs you for as if you had any say in the matter.

"Hungry," She whines and that sends Rafe digging into the cooler for snacks. You let her decide which fruit she wanted but her eye had caught sight of the mini container of cake that had been taken out in order to find the other items.

"Looks like she knows what she wants," Rafe smiles and you think about it, "We can't give her sugar, Rafe. Here, do you want some watermelon?" Her focus now is on the juicy red fruit you presented to her on a plate.

She must be fond of it, slurping up the juices and making a mess of her top. Fortunately, it was later washed off with the salt water when Rafe insisted on playing with her after she'd digested her food.

The sun was slowly beginning to set and the three of you had been lounging around for the last thirty minutes or so, when Ava made a loud shriek, "Mama!" She yelled, hopping off the towel and into her mom's arms.

Ava's mom graces you with a tight hug and a desperate stream of never-ending apologies and gratitude. She congratulated you on the little one you were expecting, confident you'd be amazing parents. "Now, what do you say to the nice people who watched you, Ava?" Her mom prompts, with what you could imagine is a very secure hold on Ava's hand, ensuring she doesn't slip away again.

"Thank you!" She beams, showing off her tiny baby teeth and you feel a twinge of sadness at the thought of her leaving. The last two hours, though chaotic, gave you the reassurance you were looking for with the whole parenting thing.

You wave them goodbye and you take a deep breath, "I'm ready," You don't have to explain anything more and you're both walking back to your spot to cut the cake. Only to see a toddler-sized footprint in it that Ava must've caused as she got up, denting the container and the contents inside smushing against its confines.

Pink.

"Wait…" You say, in disbelief, kneeling down with Rafe doing the same. "Are we-" He says, eyes misting over and you call him out, "Hey, I thought you wanted a boy." He holds you close, "I thought so too, but I'm honestly just glad it's with you." He brings you in for a kiss on your forehead. She's so loved already and she doesn't even know it.