#I'm gonna get this so fast my wallet will start crying

[rafayelsbelovedbride]

It is a part of the towel outfit ＼(^-^)／

Okay, since Caleb's necklace is a part of

every

single

one of

his

outfits

Can we say that the towel outfit is also going to come with the necklace 👉👈

[fcthots]

“I swear to you, that as long as I’m alive I won’t let a single soul ever harm you.” with protective upset and slightly unhinged jason would be so so good oh my god. like if something bad happens to reader and he has to get violent to defend her… yeah.

-🧸

You were on you way home, out later than you should have been, but your friend needed moral support after a breakup and you lost track of time.

Unfortunately while both you & Jason's apartment and your friend's were just off the edge of crime alley, your friend's apartment was on the opposite end of you and Jason. All of this is to say, unless you wanted to be out after midnight, you had to pass through crime alley after dark. It was just a five minute walk there, when daylight spared you of most of the dangers of Gotham, but it was pitch black now. You should have driven, but at the time it didn’t seem necessary.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

You walked as fast as possible.

You didn’t even have a purse on you. Your phone was in the leather jacket Jason had bought you as a present and you had 20 dollars stuffed somewhere in your pant pockets.

Were you supposed to turn left here? Yeah, you recognize that streetlamp.

You would call Jason, but your phone is fucking dead and it's not like you were gonna ask your crying friend for a charger. And you didn’t realize how late it had gotten until you stepped outside with no way to get back into your friends apartment.

You were in the home stretch, just in the outskirts of crime alley. Almost freedom.

Never let it be said that you were lucky. All of your luck was used getting your hot ass boyfriend. Luck gone.

The man had a knife and was screaming for your wallet. Your wallet that you did not bring with you.

"Give me the wallet or I'm gonna spill your guts on the fucking ground!"

Just because your boyfriend was scary looking, did not mean you were used to scary men, especially ones that yelled at you. Your hands shook and you weren't sure what to do.

"I don’t have it. All I have is 20 dollars, please."

"That's a fucking lie. I see your jacket. I know that shit is expensive. Lie to me again and I'll slit your throat."

Fuck. If you had to guess, it would be Jason that would find your body. You didn’t want it to be Jason. He wouldn't be able to handle seeing your lifeless eyes. You know what it's like to look into your soulmates lifeless eyes and realize they're gone forever; you were hoping Jason would never have to experience that.

"It's-"

"Tough luck... I guess I could accept other forms of payment."

He bares his teeth in a grin as he sees the look on your face.

"Unless you'd prefer that no one ever finds your body?"

You're really glad you told Jason you loved him before he left for patrol.

The man starts getting closer to you. You can't talk, can't scream, can't think. You were gonna die alone.

You think you mumble out a 'please' before your back hits the wall. His knife was to your throat, but all you could think about was Jason.

There was a bang that you didn’t fully register. Before you could think twice about it, your mugger was on the ground. You didn’t move. You stayed, frozen, silent tears running down your cheeks.

"Shh, it's ok. You're ok. It's me."

You finally focused your eyes and saw the white lenses staring at you, his arms in the air.

You babbled nonsense. You couldn't breathe.

You tried to back away from the man on the floor, but you almost fell. You swore your legs were going to give out. Jason was at your side in less than a second. He lifted you over the bleeding body on the ground, supported your weight as your knees buckled.

He tucked your face into the crook of his neck and you choked on air.

"I've got you. Match my breaths, ok? Good. You're doing great. You're ok, I promise."

All you could manage to get out was his name.

"'M right here. Just breathe. Focus on that for me." His hand cradled the base of your neck.

Eventually you stopped crying. Eventually you could breathe again. Eventually Jason led your face away from his neck to look at you. Your whole body shook. You watched as he drew his hand up to his helmet and heard this hiss and click and he took it off. He took your jaw in one of his hands.

He wiped the splattered blood and tears off your cheeks with a gloved hand, traced the trail of fresh blood and broken skin on your neck from where the knife was pressed against you. “I swear to you, that as long as I’m alive I won’t let a single soul ever harm you.”

You looked into his eyes as they flashed an inhuman green, and you believed him.

Bonus:

"Wait, Jay. Did you just happen to stumble across me?"

"There...may or may not be a tracker in the jacket I bought you... You were in one place for too long."

"I hate that that makes me feel safer."

He smiles apologetically. "I love you."

"I love you too."

[distressxox]

IM CRYING OLS THE AGITO THING IM GONNA MAKE THAT RN 😭😭

but you COOKED with that req🙏 thank you for feeding me, I'm reading abt the ghouls but the ghoullettes catch my eye more.. THEYRE SO PRETTY IM CRYING..might...try and buy a ghoullette mask......

can i ask..for..agito..and..a few other characters of your choice (throw in ghost characters if you want make it a hybrid ask LMFAO) experiencing a soft dom partner who pegs..them.........

—🪡anon

O la la, okay! Rip ur wallet.

I'm actually most likely gonna make a separate post for this for the Ghouls. Look out for that one.

Kengan Men with a Soft Dom S/O

!Nsfw!: Hinted Afab reader (no bodyparts mentioned), M sub, Anal fingering, Pegging

Kanoh Agito

• This dynamic between him and you is something extremely special. One of the strongest fighters alive, weak and on his knees for you.

• Worshipping his body whilst you undress him. Climbing ontop while you describe what you're going to do to him.

• He likes to see you dominate him. Being cared for is so new and nice that he can't live any other way.

• Holding his face as you softly grind on his cock, telling him that you're feeling good and that his body was made for you.

• He knows nothing about sex outside of what you usually do, or the mainstream. You have to explain in detail what it is before even suggesting it.

• Is a little mortified by it, but nonetheless, willing to try pegging.

• It takes a few weeks to loosen him up, slowly fingering him as he clenches around your digits. Trying his best to be strong for you.

• Then comes the day that you try it. With lube all over the strap on and his legs open, you slowly enter him. He grunts and squeezes his eyes shut.

• "Shhh it's okay, you're doing well. You worked really hard for me and I'm going to reward you for it"

• Slow thrusts through and through. He doesn't like it rough, he finds out.

• He has a verryyy sensitive g-spot. His back arches every time you hit it. It's almost heavenly. His body compulsing as he huffs, muscles flexed, and his mind in ecstasy.

• You don't need to jerk him off while doing it. He can cum hands free, groaning as he tenses up. Tears of pleasure running from the corners of his eyes. His hips twitching as he rides out his climax.

Ohma Tokita

• Yes, despite popular opinion, he knows what sex is. It was always an after thought and wasn't on his mind as much as other people. That was when he wasn't with you, of course.

• Never knew how good it felt to be dominated by somebody else. You're his teacher when it comes to intimacy. What feels good to him, what doesn't, what turns him on.

• He likes to be rewarded with being able to eat you out / you sitting on his face as he goes to town.

• You let him be on top sometimes. You command him to speed up or slow down. He can only cum when you say he can.

• You've brought up the idea of using a strap before, he brushes it off. That, goes in there? Not a chance.

• One time you teased him for being 'scared', and he took that as a challenge. To prepare him, you sit on his face whilst massaging his insides with your middle finger. He grumbled the whole time to cover up his panting.

• Foreplay is very important, you make sure he gets all the attention he needs before you start. You propped his back up on the pillow as you squeezed his thighs. Relaxing him.

• The noise he made when you hit his sweet spot for the first time was priceless.

• He likes it a bit rough, not fast, but rough. Swearing under his breath as your thrusts make his cock dribble with cum.

• Doesn't like out right asking you to peg him, so another way he'll do it is dropping it on you or by you.

Lihito / Ichiro Nakata

• Though he puts on a tough and dominant guy persona, you know who's really in charge. And you let him know.

• He is absolutely pathetic when you have him pinned down in bed. Edging him while calling him your good little fuck toy.

• Is a bit of a brat. You aren't a hard-core dom, but sometimes you have to put him in his place by cuffing him to the bed while he watches you touch yourself.

• "Pegging... Isn't that kinda gay?" You wack him over the head and tell him to not judge it unless he's tried it.

• Is in denial about wanting to try it. He's had multiple wet dreams about you absolutely railing the shit out of him. The dreams keep happening and he can't take it anymore. He fingers himself to the thought of you bending him over and degrading him.

• With a painful boner in his boxers, he asks you to bring out the strap on. You oblige. Towel, laid down. Lube, applied. Dildo, STRAPPED.

• Prefers a bit a Foreplay before going in even though he's mentally and physically prepared. He's on his stomach with his ass up.

• A moaning mess. Likes it when you smack his butt while your thrusts render his mind useless.

Goah Ryuki

• Is a bottom from the get-go. Very submissive but can top if you asked him to.

• Ugh the way he whimpers sends a shock through your body. He likes to be edged, overstimulated, and teased.

• Thigh jobs are his favorite thing ever. The way your muscles tense around his sensitive and raw cock which you already had overstimulated beforehand.

• He actually brought up the idea of Pegging. You let him chose and buy the strap you'll use on him.

• In the time you wait for it to arrive, you have him bent over your lap with a smaller dildo you had kept in safe keeping. He was twitching and moaning so loud you had to cover his mouth so the neighbors wouldn't hear.

• He's so desperate for you to put it in him, you have to hold him down by his hips. Which is a struggle because of his strength.

• There's no going back once you put it inside him. He likes it rough and fast. You'll get a full work out once you're done with him.

A/n: DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE YOU TRY ANYTHING WITH YOUR PARTNER, THATS AN ORDER

• Asks you grab his hair and go harder. Your legs are already on fire, but god damn is he hot when he's like this.

[nei-ning]

Heck weird and long dream from far away in the past, as shortly as I can write it. Some places were so weird I don't even try to describe them.

I don't remember beginning but at some point I'm standing at the open doorway which leads to a weird round shaped building, narrow one, but it's still one big open place. Like mall's central. Doorway is V shaped. I go through it, arriving to the central of the building. I'm on the first floor, there's second floor a bit above me. I'm not sure is there third floor or even more.

I see across me a big glass wall, round / curving, and behind it is water and some water plants. There's not much water tho. If I could enter there, I assume water would only reach to the half of my calf. Anyway! In the middle I see 2 sets of clothings. Both with colors red and black. They look like they just have been tossed there. But I also notice dark brown-red hair there mixed in the pile with someone else. It doesn't take more than few seconds when I realize I'm looking at the hair style which is perfect match to Kagami's!

I BURST into tears and run more closer to the class wall, staring down at the clothes and hair. Sure thing, it looks like there's Kagami's body floating on top of other body. I just can't believe it! My heart hurts and I refuse to believe it's Kagami so I start to go from place to place in this building, searching for him.

In every place I keep calling Kagami, always getting hopeful when seeing someone familiar but getting disappointed when the person wasn't Kagami after all. This is exhausting while also crying the whole time.

I end up to subway station and I stop for a moment to take out something from my bag, leaving this red/black scale printed little pouch on the ground behind me. Only few seconds go past and someone has steal this little pouch from me! I hear female voice saying "it's here". The voice comes from the train but I don't make it since it leaves. Not only that but ALL my personal stuffs were in that bag. Phone, wallet, passport etc. I'm starting to panic. I start to walk back and forth in this station, yelling to the voice where is it and luckily it always replies. It's not friendly female voice, tho. You can feel the sneaky evilness in it. But it's huge relieve it didn't go with the train!

Eventually 3 women, weird ones, being fully black circles around me. I know these are not humans. I mean they are black completely so I can't even tell where the clothing ends and where skin starts. Tallest one leans towards me, saying something. I reply with tears I want and need my pouch back since all my valuable things are in it. I can lose all my money from bank account, my ID, everything.

I don't remember her reply but her mouth spread and then wide opens sideways, inner mouth opening vertical way. Her mouth is amazingly red. It shows so well from the blackness of her's.

I'm not sure did I get my pouch bag, but I assume so, but I think in return those 3 women wanted something but I wasn't gonna have it since next I'm heading down on wide iron staircase inside the building. I go down rather fast, coming across with a man. I ask or tell him about Kagami (is he dead or alive) and the guy either looked confused or knew where I should look for. Can't remember that so well.

Eventually I come to the place where's people (few only) and I see someone standing across me further away. He is back towards me but I see familiar hair style. It is Kagami. Or should be! I'm still unsure but at the same time I want to let myself believe it's actual Kagami, that he's alive and well after all.

More longer I stare his back, see him move and gesture with his hands as he speak with others (probably his player team mates), the more sure of him being Kagami I become. I start to cry in relief as I rush to him, hugging him tight while rubbing my face against his chest. I keep crying, telling him how happy, relieved and grateful I am he is alive. I keep repeating this like a mantra to him. I just can feel him radiating mild but gentle warmth while smiling gently down at me.

I woke up when mom came home. I honestly hear all the way to the bedroom, when her key goes in the lock and opens the door. She will never be able to sneak home, haha :'D (downside of being light sleeper, tho...)

[websterss]

im dying for anything chad related like i can just imagine he is such a protective bf especially after what happened in woodsboro, like that man hardly lets you out of his sight, which is very endearing but probably gets overwhelming itself

AHH my first Chad fic okay okay here we go for this beautiful beautiful man.

KISS MISHAPS

REQUEST: I'm dying for anything chad related like i can just imagine he is such a protective bf especially after what happened in Woodsboro, like that man hardly lets you out of his sight, which is very endearing but probably gets overwhelming itself

WARNING(S): pure fluff, two idiots in love.

WORD COUNT: 1,053

PAIRING: Chad Meeks-Martin x fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

MASTERLIST

After having moved to New York for college and after losing Liv. I feel like Chad would gravitate towards you slowly, and then let his protective side showcase a little more. You were there for him when you had to tell him about Liv dying. About the way that Amber- you know. Shot her. You granted him your shoulders for him to cry on. After almost dying, it seemed that brought you and the others closer. A traumatic experience bonding you all for life. And seeing as just how special you were to Chad, he’d want to ensure that you were okay. So when you wanted to head off somewhere on your own. You bet that Chad was there. Out of his seat, phone, and wallet in hand ready to accompany you.

“Oh my is that the time…” You let out a yawn. You squinted from the massive reflection of your phone's bright screen. “I should head back to my dorm…”

“I should head back too. Come on I’ll walk you back…” Chad moved your legs off his lap and patted your knee. You groaned, visibly exhausted and not wanting to get off Sam and Tara’s couch. “Come on sleepy head. It’s like a half-hour trip to get there.”

“Don’t remind me…” You sigh begrudged and lift yourself up. Gathering your bag and jacket.

“Sam, Tara, we’re leaving!” Chad called out.

“Okay. Text me when you get there okay!” Sam called out from her room down the hall.

“Yeah!”

“Yup!” You both let out at the same time.

You and Chad open the door and walk out, then descend to the first level awaiting you. You throw your head back, eyes wanting to close shut to fall back into the deep slumber you were in.

“Come on, it’s not that bad!” Chad poked fun at your tired state.

“This is your fault!” You punch his shoulder.

“Wha—“ Chad is baffled. “My fault? I told you not to fall asleep.”

“And you said you’d wake me!” You exclaim.

“Okay in my defense you looked adorable. Who was I to interrupt a needed nap.”

“I did…I did need it.” You pout

“Come on. It’ll be over before you know it and then you can fall fast asleep again.”

“I’m gonna fall asleep on the train.” You warn.

“No, you’re not. I’m gonna make sure of it.” Chad laughed at your annoyed expression and started making his way down the stairs.

-

You did in fact fall asleep on the train. Chad had to nudge you a few times to get you off his shoulder but when you did, you both made your way back to campus soon.

“You didn’t have to walk me to my dorm ya know. You’re like on the other side of campus.” You lean back against your door. Head resting on it. Eyes softened as you stared at him. You appreciated his need to make sure you got somewhere safe and sound. Honestly, you realized he made sure everyone was together and safe when you left parties and when you needed to get back home.

“I did. You know I do. After what happened the last time. I’m not letting there be room for any repeats…Not this time.” He reached forward slowly and faintly caressed the scar you secured during that horrid night. It was small, but big enough to catch someone’s curiosity. The line ran angled on your temple. There were also the not-so-obvious scars you did hide, but this one held a reminder to Chad that that night was real. That he almost lost all of you. He looked down and let his hand fall to his side again. Enclosing it into a tight fist for letting his impulsive thoughts get the better of him. He had a bad habit of reaching out to you. This was none of the latter. You looked away. Not knowing what to make of each time he stared at your scar, at you, like you were this precious vase that he was trying tremendously to keep from shattering. To keep from dying at the hands of another masked psycho who had a knack for Woodsboro’s history and killing innocent people. A knack for movies that were based on dozens of survivors and traumatic experiences. It was sickening, and he wanted to do everything in his power to prevent another mishap from happening.

“Get some sleep, sleepy head. You look like you’re about to make that door your new bed.”

You muster a chuckle, eyes closed, further proving your obvious tiredness.

“I just might…” You grin.

“Get inside okay? Lock the doors and-“

“Don’t answer the door to just anybody. I know…I know.” You push off the door and act without thinking. Chad breathes a laugh out as you press a chaste kiss on his cheek. Then turn to open your door. “Text me when you’ve made it to your room okay.”

“Y-Yeah….” He quirks a brow at you. He goes to say something when you bid him goodnight, with a kiss. “Yeah, night…” He lamely waved even though you had already shut the door behind him. He reached up. The tips of his fingers brushed where your lips pressed against the side of his lips. He hadn't expected to gain such a physical act of affection from you, but then again, you probably didn't think too much of it. You were practically falling asleep on him just by standing in front of your door, perhaps you didn't realize you had kissed him, or perhaps you meant to kiss him on the cheek instead. But you had leaned in so casually. He certainly wasn’t prepared for it. He shook it off with a smile and started making the walk back to his dorm. He had tomorrow to look forward to and he needed all the rest he could get.

You had walked in and started making your way to begin your night routine. You didn’t question much of your and Chad’s interaction until you had slipped your bag off your body and let it thump against the ground, and then you froze. Panic rose inside your chest as you began to register that the kiss you wanted to plant on his cheek, didn’t happen. Oh shit, you thought. You kissed him on the lips instead.

[anotherdayinchuckletown]

Max Shaw Headcanons (General + Relationship)

(tw: mentions of drug use, alcohol, and child abuse)

General

First of all, Max is short for Maxwell. Gets so flustered when someone refers to him by his full name.

Nine years younger than Al. He was what some would call a "happy accident."

He was always really outgoing and energetic, ever since he was little. When he took his first steps, he didn't walk, he RAN.

He has ADHD (no, I'm not projecting shhh). Didn't do very well in school, but not because he wasn't smart, he just couldn't remember to get his assignments in on time. Favorite subject was English (he actually really enjoys reading), least favorite was math.

Was the favorite child. He got his fair share of beatings from his father, especially when he would fall behind in school, but Al definitely took the brunt of it as the elder brother.

MOMMA'S BOY. Took her death when he was twelve extremely hard. Things started going downhill after that for him; he acted out more, and she wasn't around to defend him from his father, and Al could only do so much. He started getting "punished" more frequently.

Started shoplifting cigarettes from corner stores when he was fourteen. Weed came a little later, around seventeen.

The Big One (cocaine) started in college. He was there on a track scholarship, but he got caught with it during his senior year and lost the funding. Unfortunately had to drop out as a result.

Heavy drinker, but not enough for it to be an issue. Partial to whiskey (he thinks it's classy) and shitty frat boy beers. VERY insecure about his slight beer gut.

Found Samson on the side of the road in Durango one day, adopted him on the spot. Loves that dog with all his heart.

As y'all know, I hc that Max also has supernatural gifts. He has dreams similar to Gwen, but he just thinks they're your run-of-the-mill night terrors. Uses the coke partially to stay awake so he doesn't experience them.

Really, truly loves his brother. Secretly worries about him a lot, hates the fact that he spends all that time alone in their childhood home with those creepy masks their father collected. Part of him is so scared that Al resents him for getting the better end of the deal in their upbringing, he just wants so badly to be a good brother I'm gonna make myself cry oh my god

Relationship

This man falls in love FAST and HARD. Don't smile at him too kindly, or he'll start imagining your lives together.

Because he gets attached so easily, he unfortunately gets taken advantage of pretty often. 80% of his money troubles is his tendency to attract unsavory women looking for a meal ticket.

He's bi, he just doesn't know it.

If you're in a committed relationship with him, he will not shut up about you. To anyone. Ever. He's pulling pictures of you out of his wallet to show people, he can't help it, he's just so proud of you!!

He will really want you to get along with his brother, so RIP to you I guess (jk, Al would tolerate you for Max's sake, but you better not make one wrong move)

Love language is gifts and physical touch.

Always buying you extravagant gifts he probably can't really afford like jewelry and fancy dinners and such, no matter how much you tell him not to. He wants to spoil you!!

Also, constantly touching you in some form or fashion. Walking down the street? He's either holding your hand, or has an arm around your waist. Sitting down on the couch? He and Samson are BOTH all over you.

Speaking of Samson, will be jealous if you cuddle his dog more than him. Make him jealous, he's adorable when he pouts.

One of his favorite pastimes is snuggling up on the couch and watching a movie with you. What kind? Doesn't matter, he's not picky!!

Musicals? He's practically out of his seat during the songs. Romance? Man's not afraid to cry. Horror? He'll say he's protecting you by wrapping his arms around you, but he's pretty much crawling into your lap before long.

Overall, best trainwreck clingy boyfriend, 10000/10

[the-pinstriped-hood]

So! Something has come up between T33th and I, we have been doing some serious Brainstorming. This is an alt Cut for Eddie's death, this time it's going to be much worse. This will involve my OC Percy, as she will be mentioned by name. Eddie is still alive after being beaten by Bo.

The start to Lover Scorned by @rottent33th

TW: implied Death, Maiming, Serious injury, torture, mentions of past domestic abuse, branding.

Lover Scorned: Alt. Cut

Bo grabbed the unconscious intruder by the legs, dragging him towards the entrance when their wallet dropped out of their pocket. Dropping him and going to collect it, he looked it over, pocketing the usual stuff; Cash, Change, any expensive valuables. His actions ceased however when his eyes found the ID.

Eddie.

E.

He mentally flashes back to the night he was going to make love to Percy, his girlfriend. She had insisted that it be in the dark. "That way," she insisted it "would be more fun."

They were making out as Bo tried running his hands inside her thighs. His hand was caught between them as she whimpered she wasn't ready for that yet. As she released his hand his fingers felt something eerily familiar:

Marred, damaged and rough flesh.

He felt around as it was in the shape of a letter.

"Bo, please..." Percy whimpered. "Don't..."

Her voice was small as Bo turned on the light against her wishes.

For a split second before she could hide it completely, there was no mistaking it.

Someone had branded Percy.

"Darlin', who-"

"No!!!"

Bo mentally snapped back to the present as he put the puzzle together. And he was seeing red. Eddie was stirring, the mechanic acted fast and took the offender right back to the Basement.

Eddie awoke to the harsh sound of Heavy metal and the smell of dried blood in his mouth. He tried to sit up, only to realize he has been strapped down to a strange chair.

"So, you must be Eddie." Bo announced himself, walking into Eddie's peripheral vision. "My girl Percy told me a lot about you, an' none of it is good." The mechanic frowned.

"The fuck is this? Let me go you psycho!"

Bo stared daggers, He was going to take his time with this asshole.

"You hurt her. Took her gift for granted and even marked her like cattle." Bo snorted, "You make me look like a goddamn saint in comparison."

"Who-?"

"Percy!!!!" Bo roared in fury.

"You think it's funny to hurt a girl like that? To watch her cry? You think it makes you feel stronger just cause you abuse her? She fuckin' trusted you!"

"Fuck you!"

Bo forced Eddie's mouth shut harshly, working quickly to super glue his mouth shut. "You are going to shut your mouth and keep it shut. I've seen what people do to try and free their lips like that. It ain't pretty."

He took a needle and thread and started sewing his eyelids shut.

"You are never gonna speak or see her ever again." Bo whispered angrily, practically shaking with silent rage.

"You don't get to die until I'm done with you. Welcome to Hell."

[joyaphoria]

the five chances you give him (5)

pairing: suna x f!reader

note: this is the last chapter! i hope you all enjoyed :)

summary: suna knew that he was doing something wrong, but he refused to acknowledge it. therefore, you slowly dropped five major hints for him, hoping that he would notice them and take action to fix your broken relationship. suna really did notice them, he just didn’t figure out in time that you were actually going to leave.

series masterlist | directory

© 𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢

part five: rin became rintaro; then it became suna

"oh baby... nobody said that it was going to be easy." mei cooed, her voice softer than usual. she repeatedly kissed the top of your head as you cried into her lap.

"i k-know but.." you spoke through your sobs, snot along your sleeves. "i-i really hoped t-that he would ch-change.."

it's been just over two months since you've started changing your behaviour around rin, but he didn't seem to react to it—no, he may have changed, but only a bit. it wasn't enough.

you knew that this was unavoidable, and that it had to be done. the longer it takes for you to get this over with, the longer it will take for you to get over it.

so when mei sent you home that night, she reassured you that it will all be worth it in the end, and that you will find someone better.

but the fact that he was waiting for you at the same table that you used to wait at, every single night, didn't help at all.

"where were you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

you stood there for a second with your shoes still on, and folded over with laughter.

his heart flutters. whens the last time you laughed in front of him?

"sorry," you sniffled through the laughter, the aftermath from crying earlier doing you no justice. "it's just that i used to sit in that same chair, waiting for you to come home, you know?"

hesitating for a moment, he decided on getting up and walking over to you, although he didn't know what to do.

"y/n." he's looking down at you now, resisting the urge to reach out and take hold of your hands.

"rintarou."

now that caught both of you off guard.

it slipped out without a second thought on your end, and you were visibly shocked.

as was suna, except he was more afraid than anything else. he knew what this meant—he was no longer rin to you, but rintarou.

he should be grateful though, because he knew what eventually might come next. he knew that it wouldn't be rintarou for long, and that as soon as it changes, it would be over; everything would be over.

"were you crying?" he whispers, reaching out to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. except you wouldn't let him, grabbing his wrist in time. God—mei would be so proud; as would that kind lady from the cafe.

"why should you care?" you spat, letting go of his wrist to remove your shoes.

"because im your boyfriend." he said, although you didn't miss the quiver in his voice from that last word, as if he wasn't so sure anymore.

you move past him and head straight for the bathroom; but suna didn't miss it. he heard what you mumbled on your way out—and it had him slumped against the wall (when you were out of sight, that is)

his fists are clenched and his heart is beating a little too fast, but he can't get his mind off of what you said.

"yea, well not for long"

five words, and yet they seemed to foreshadow his future.

-

there were two possible reasons that you could be waking him up at 10 in the morning.

you were either waking him up to tell him that it was over, and that you were leaving, or that it was over, and that he had to leave.

turns out there was a third reason.

"do you have practice today?" you asked, your voice a whisper.

"yeah.. why?" he got up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. its been a while since you last entered this room, moving all your things to the guest room.

"oh. nevermind." you make a gesture to leave but he panics and grabs your arm. this could be an opportunity, and he wasn't about to lose it.

"i could um.. take the day off." he nods his head.

"are you sure?" when he nods his head yet again, your features soften.

"okay, well get dressed. i feel like going to a theme park."

you leave the room before he has a chance to answer, but he complies anyways.

his mind wanders to the picture that he broke in the heat of the moment awhile back—the one where you were both smiling at an amusement park, kids laughing in the bakground.

-

"let's go on that one!" you exclaim, pointing at the rollercoaster.

a soft grin takes over your face—and while it may not be your typical energetic one, at least it was still there.

now, suna wasn't a big fan of rollercoasters. he prefered to have you go on them, while he took the photos, but today's been the first time in a while that he's actually seen you happy, and he wanted to keep it that way.

you've been here all day, and it was already pretty dark, so they might be closing soon anyways.

when the cart had finally come back around, you and rin got on, with a guy slipping in on your side.

"you guys here together?" he asked, looking over you to make eye contact with suna.

you nodded, and he chuckled.

"im here with my girlfriend, but she doesn't like roller coasters as much as i do."

now you and him are making small talk, and suna is resisting the urge to tell the guy to shut up, and to go back to his own girlfriend.

when the ride finally starts, he feels relieved, even slipping his hand into your own.

your hand tenses, and he looks up to find a look of guilt soaked into your features.

he quickly unravels his hand from yours, settling it into his lap and looking away. he got too carried away to remember that a day of rides and fun wasnt enough to fix his mistakes.

as the ride starts climbing upwards, fear pumps through his veins.

he shuts his eyes, dreading the fall.

when it finally came, he opened his eyes and hugged himself to keep from screaming.

he looks over to you, and his heart does that thing again—it flutters.

with your hands in the air, your screams adorning his ears, he fell in love. all over again.

the moonlight caressed your pretty features as your eyes shut in pure bliss, and suna found tears falling out of his own.

the tears fell but he didn't sob—not once. you didn't look his way either—not once.

instead he looked away, quickly wiping the tears before someone could catch him. he missed this; he missed you.

when you two got off the ride later, he wonders if you would ever go to another theme park with him.

-

when you decide to leave, suna finds an employee walking around the park with a polaroid camera.

he asks him to take a picture of you, and places it in his wallet. he can't break it this time.

suna misses the look of guilt that slips past your face, as if it were never there.

-

when the car pulls into the parking lot, and you both get out, suna realizes that you weren't walking beside him.

he panics and turns around, where he finds you smiling. tears in your eyes.

"thank you for today, suna."

he freezes. he can't move anymore. he can't think.

"don't be silly. let's go inside." he's walking again, but when he doesn't hear a second set of footsteps, the tears wash over him.

"why aren't you coming?" his voice cracks as the tears stream down his face.

"i'm going to mei's. it's-it's over." you smile, wiping continuously at your eyes.

"y/n please, we can talk about this." he's running over to you, taking hold of your shoulders as he bends down to make eye contact. "we're fixable, okay? i promise we are." he doesn't make move to wipe away the tears that are falling.

you wipe away his tears, pulling him into a hug. "i'm so sorry."

he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, afraid of having you slip out of his grasp. "please, don't leave me. i'll do anything, just give me another chance. i need you."

you wriggle out of his arms, and his fists clench at his sides.

"i gave you chances. i gave you too many. i have to go."

you're running now, and he can't decide if he should run after you or not. has he not caused you enough pain?

instead, he falls to his knees and cries.

that was it. he lost you—he lost everything.

the polaroid picture was burning a hole through his wallet.

-

when he finally musters up the courage to check the guest room a few days later, he sees all your things packed up in boxes.

you had it all planned out, didn't you?

-

when mei comes later that day to pick up your things, she finds suna curled into a ball on the guest room floor.

"suna. wake up."

his eyes open slowly, and she finds them red, his eyebags puffy and cheeks tear-stained.

"is y/n gonna come back?" he asks, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

mei shakes her head, and suna cries again.

she looks away, thanking the heavens that she wasn't in a relationship. she couldn't help but pity him as she collected her best friend's things, suna's sobs as a sort of background noise.

she couldn't be surprised—the lost of your entire world was enough to make any grown man cry.

-

heartbreak isn’t easy, but suna’s heart hurts without you. where he sleeps, where he bathes, it all reeks of your touch.

you’re everywhere here, all memories playing back to him like a movie. he’s reminded of you, and recovering addicts don’t test themselves; they dont stay around said addiction to see if they can restrain themselves.

and so suna moves out, running from the place that you’ve drenched in your presence.

he leaves the polaroid picture on the table.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 12*

I give you this my babies, because tomorrow I have tons to do and I don't know if you'll get a chapter during the day, it might just be tomorrow night after most of you are asleep. So enjoy the plethora when you can!

Also, I hope you're not getting whiplash from the twists and turns. I'm just making it as dramatic as possible, apparently.

Please still read my stuff.

Part 11

Part 13

Tag List

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@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

[Once again top is Nevada as 'Rafael', Bottom is Rafael]

---------

You walked silently through the park while crying. You were fuming, you felt guilty, but mostly you were heartbroken. You knew Rafael didn't mean what he said, he was just hot headed. But you did mean what you said. You didn't know if he could ever get past what happened, and you weren't positive you could either.

You wanted to, but just knowing the damage was done to Rafael's heart killed you inside and how you could spend the rest of your life just feeling guilty?

You were so lost in your own thoughts you didn't notice cops running through the park towards the cave.

-------

"FREEZE!!!!" An NYPD officer yelled at Rafael as several more surrounded the cave and him.

"Okay gentlemen, I try that you're doing your job but there's been a mistake--" Rafael put his hands in the air.

"Save it, Ramirez. Barba told us everything,"

Olivia had told him over the phone that Nevada had gotten to the people at Ryker's and they had alerted the NYPD but he didn't expect them to be this fast.

"Look if you go into my jacket pocket you'll see my wallet with my ID," He assured them.

"Yeah how dumb do you think we are?" One cop scoffed. "Even my fifteen year old sister has a FAKE ID,"

"Fair point," Rafael nodded.

"Now where's the girl?" Another police officer barked.

"Girl?" Rafael’s brows furrowed.

“Barba's girl. You know it takes some balls to kidnap the ADA's fiancée, I'll give you that,”

“Wha---he DID! I just rescued her!” He insisted.

"Yeah, before you got what you wanted?" The cop asked him suspiciously.

"And what did I want?" Rafael asked.

“You wanted your boys free,” he replied.

“No HE did. That's why HE was there. Come on guys you're smarter than this,” Rafael started to take a step forward.

“DON'T move,” The cop cocked the gun closer to Rafael.

“Really then how did he explain why he was there breaking them out and not me?”

“He said you had the girl and when he brought you the boys you'd let her go.”

"What would be the point of that if we look identical?!" Rafael exclaimed in exasperation. This was ridiculous.

“You think we're gonna buy you're that stupid to walk into Ryker's completely unarmed, just because you look like the ADA?”

“No he's just that cocky,” Rafael rolled his eyes at Nevada’s ego.

“Alright enough, where is she?” The cop ordered.

“She just ran away….” Rafael realized this didn’t look good.

“Oh really? She just ran away from the love of her life, who just rescued her from an evil man?” The officer asked sarcastically.

“Yeah she--we--- it's a long story,” He sighed. If he had just kept running after you, you’d be together right now. God knows what was happening to you right now.

“Right, well you can tell it downtown,” One cop nodded to the others to handle him.

“Well fine, Olivia Benson will vouch for me,” Rafael was talking a tough game, but secretly praying he was right. Olivia would know he was himself, right?

“Whatever you say Nevada,” Two cops grabbed by the shoulders and dragged him out of the cave.

---------

You suddenly realized as you reached the end of the park that you had no cell phone, no money. You didn’t even have shoes. You really didn’t want to continue to fight with Rafael, but it seemed you had no choice in the matter at the moment. You started heading back to the penguin cove when you saw a bunch of NYPD officers surrounding the place, and after a few minutes they were dragging Rafael out in handcuffs.

You were just about to run and tell them there was a mix up, when a hand clamped over your mouth. And then everything went black.

When you woke up, you were back in Nevada’s limo.

“Are you fucking kidding me…” You muttered to yourself, but you quickly realized you were not alone. Two more of Nevada’s men that you had never seen before were sitting across from you, huge evil grins on their faces.

“Hola, mami,” One rubbed his leg up and down your bare leg but you kicked him away.

“Now that’s not very nice, mujer,”

“Especially when we brought you refreshments,” The other one pulled out the champagne bottle of mind serum Nevada had on him the last time you saw him.

SERIOUSLY?

-------

Rafael was dragged through the precinct, glares from every single cop and detective, finally reaching the squad’s room. Olivia rushed over, trying to help Rafael out of the cuffs.

“What are you doing? THIS is Mr. Barba!” She exclaimed.

“No offense, Ms. Benson, but this man is very good at fooling people, you’re no exception,” One officer told her.

“Then why did he have Mr. Barba’s phone?” Olivia asked them with an attitude. The officer’s looked between each other, not really having an answer for that. Maybe they had been mistaken.

“.....Because I dropped it when I was running for my life with my fiancé,” A voice came from behind them. Everyone turned to see ‘Rafael’ with you draped on his arm.

“No….” Rafael whispered. This couldn’t be happening again.

“Ah, Mr. Barba,” One of the cops nodded. “Thank you so much for helping us catch this guy. That’s a decade of fine police work’s worth,” He shook ‘Rafael’s’ hand while Olivia circled around them to talk to you.

“What are you doing?!” She hissed.

“What are you talking about?!” You hissed back.

“Why are you vouching for Nevada?”

“What are you talking about? This is Rafael,”

“....Seriously?” Olivia was taken aback.

“Yes Olivia, SERIOUSLY. Don’t you think I would know my own fiancée?” You gave her an offended look.

“Yeah well from what I heard, you’re not that great at it,” She smirked.

“OLIVIA,” ‘Rafael’ suddenly stepped in between you two. “This vendetta you have against Y/N has got to stop, I thought we talked about this,”

“I...she...you…” Olivia looked from him to you, her eyes searching both of your eyes for anything telling.

“Do you have any idea what she’s been through?!” ‘Rafael’ barked, you laid your head on his shoulder looking very scared and traumatized.

“Yeah, I don’t know why you’re so mean to me,” You pouted, making Olivia gag.

“Oh my god, there is no way you are--”

“We’re done here, Olivia.” ‘Rafael’ shut her up. “If you can’t tell the difference between a hardened criminal and your ‘best friend’, then clearly we’re not as close as I thought we were.”

-----------------

Inside your mind prison, you were watching all of this go down with absolute horror. How could this be happening again? How did you do this to yourselves AGAIN? What is WRONG with you? And now, now it was worse than ever because now Rafael was actually in trouble, and it was your fault.

“OLIVIA!!!!!” You screamed. You couldn’t believe out of all people, you would need her help. But here you were.

Olivia watched in shock as you and ‘Rafael’ walked arm in arm out of the station, leaving ‘Nevada’ in cuffs, with the most pitiful look on his face.

“Alright Ramirez, you can drop the act. It’s gonna get you nowhere, the jig is up,” Olivia sneered at him, with a wink.

“Olivia,” Rafael looked at her sadly. “I know you know me better than that. You know about….things that would convince Y/N that Nevada is me,” He muttered softly, looking around them.

“I know,” Olivia pressed her forehead to his. “I never doubted it was you, Rafa,” She smiled; now that you were completely out of the way, and turned against him, he needed her. For the first time, he needed her. And she was going to take every advantage of that.

“But they’re not going to take my word for it,” She sighed. “You might just have to wait it out in Ryker’s a bit while I sort this out,” She shrugged apologetically.

“Oh no, he won’t be going to Ryker’s Detective,” The mayor had entered the station, and heard the last part of their conversation.

“...Excuse me?” Olivia asked worriedly.

“For all the bad things this man has done-- murders, rapes, pillaging, for a DECADE now. No for that he’s not just going to ‘wait it out’ in a cell, wasting our taxpayer dollars. He’s getting the chair as fast as I can sign the release,”

Both Olivia and Rafael’s faces went white; Oliva fell back as if she was going to pass out.

“Mr. Mayor, please-- I understand this is a serious manner but this is a man’s life here. Don’t you want to make absolutely sure that you have the right man?”

“I’m pretty sure Miss Y/N knows her own fiancée,” The mayor pointed out.

“Well no offense to Miss Y/N but that’s how she got herself kidnapped, sir. By NOT recognizing her fiancé,”

“....I’ll take that under advisement,” The mayor nodded.

“Liv,” Rafael looked at her seriously. “Look whenever someone’s under….the influence,” He whispered looking around the both of them.

“They are still ‘there’. I know it. I know Y/N is there, she's just...trapped,”

“...I’ll see what I can do,” Olivia nodded. “Don’t take him anywhere until I come back,” She instructed a cop, before running out of the station.

---

“Nev---Rafa!” Liv came running out of the station where you and ‘Rafael’ were waiting on an Uber.

“Liv,” He nodded curtly.

“Look you’re right, I need to talk to Y/N, give her a proper apology,” Olivia looked between the two of you. ‘Rafael’ eyed her curiously, but then addressed you: “Go on baby, I’ll wait here for the car,”

Olivia took you to the side and lowered her voice so ‘Rafael’ couldn’t hear.

“Y/N, Look--” She put both hands on your shoulders. “They are going to put Rafael to DEATH,”

Inside your mind prison you let out a blood curdling scream, making ‘you’ wince in pain. Olivia stood in front of you so that ‘Rafael’ wouldn’t see, but she tried to talk to you.

“Yes, exactly. You should feel bad, because we both know that that--” Olivia pointed to ‘Rafael’. “That is NOT our Rafael,”

“Okay, ‘our’ Rafael is pushing it, Olivia,” You rolled your eyes. “But whatever-- this, this cannot be happening. My body cannot be this vulnerable. I have GOT to love Rafael more than this, GOD DAMMIT!!!!!”

You pulled at the bars until your arms felt like they were going to fall off, you sobbed until no water was left in your body. How could this be happening? How could you be failing him this hard? How could you keep hurting him like this, and now you were going to get him killed!

“Please,” You looked up to the sky, whimpering softly.

“Please, I don’t know-- I don’t know who or what is up there, I’ve never really believed in a lot. Hell I’ve never even believed in myself. But I believe in Rafael, and I believe in our love. I really, really do. And I believe that our love can beat anything, I just-- I need, help.”

Suddenly a blinding light appeared, and when you adjusted your vision, you were back in your body. You looked up at Olivia, who was apparently comforting you from another ‘migraine’. Before you could say or do anything, ‘Rafael’ came walking up to the two of you.

“Carino, our ride’s here,” He smiled at you sweetly. You wanted to vomit; But as long as he thought you were under his spell, you were safe.

“Coming baby,” You kissed his cheek sweetly, over exaggerated. You know his ‘version’ of you was over the top, like a freaking trophy wife stereotype.

“You have to get him out of there, Liv,” You whispered, tears in your eyes. "This is all up to you now,” Then you turned and followed “Rafael” to the car.

Olivia stared at the car as it drove off. How had you just...woken yourself up like that? But you were right. It was all up to her now. She bolted back into the station where they were processing ‘Nevada’.

“Ahem, gentlemen,” Olivia nodded to the officers, then the mayor. “Sir if I might have a moment,” She motioned him to the side.

“Sir, like I said you want to be absolutely sure you’re going kill the right man. And I have a way,” She told the mayor.

“Which is…?”

“Let me take him and get a DNA test,”

“A DNA test? Right now?” The mayor laughed.

“The lab doesn’t close until eight, it’s six now,” Olivia looked at her phone. “I can get to the head of the line, and you can get your results instantly. Then if it turns out this is indeed Nevada Ramirez, then you can execute him tomorrow,” She explained.

“....I suppose that is the best course of action,” The mayor nodded. “Do you think you can handle him all on your own?”

“Trust me sir, I’ve handled worse,” Olivia shook her head, showing her gun.

“Alright,” The mayor walked over to the men holding ‘Nevada’.

“Men, Detective Benson will be taking Mr. Ramirez to a genetics lab to get a DNA test, to make sure he is in fact Nevada Ramirez,”

“Seriously? Sir, come on--”

“Did I stutter, Donahue?” The mayor narrowed his eyes at the cop.

“Alright fine,” The officer shoved ‘Nevada’ towards Olivia.

“Let’s go, Ramirez,” Olivia grabbed ‘Nevada’ roughly and dragged him out of the station to a squad car. She threw him in the back and got in the driver’s side.

“Liv, I appreciate you getting me out of there, but we need to go to Nevada’s place and get Y/N,” Rafael instructed.

“Screw that, I’m proving your innocence before anything,” Olivia scoffed as she drove towards the lab.

“OLIVIA,” He emphasized.

“RAFAEL.” She emphasized harder.

“Come on, Liv I know you don’t like her but--”

“Nevada’s not going to hurt her, you know that. I know that. She’ll be fine,” Oliva rolled her eyes.

“She won’t be FINE,” Rafael pounded on the glass between the front and the backseat.

He thought about your last conversation-- your last fight. He had told you that you hadn’t been ‘assaulted’, that you ‘enjoyed’ being basically raped. And now, you were back there.

You were probably just thinking how he’d be upset, how he’d react, when really he was just scared for you. He realized none of the other bullshit mattered. All that mattered was you, and him, and the love you both shared. And that had to pull you through, didn’t it?

------------

Back at Nevada’s place, ‘You’ changed into a see-through red teddy, and waited on Nevada. You knew that you were supposed to be under the elixir, so you had to act obediently, at least until Olivia showed up. She’d show up, right?

She had to show up.

[jjmaybanksblog]

Good Old Days - JJ Maybank

Gif credit @toesure !

Summary: you and JJ meet once again after a harsh break up.

Word count: 1,982

Warnings: cheating, angst underage drinking, implied sex at the end. I do NOT condone the action of going back to someone who cheated.

You sat alone in a booth at a local restaurant, diagonal from where your friend Nicole sat with an unfamiliar boy. You had offered to 'be a look out' for the girl when she brought up how her friends had helped her get a blind date. Nicole had the fear that she might embarrass herself or something might go south, so you decided to lend a helping hand to calm her down.

You subtly flicked your eyes up and down from the menu to your friend as a waitress came up to you. "What can I get you hun?" 

"Just a vanilla milkshake and fries please." The lady nodded and took the menu from your hands. You reached inside of your bag and pulled out your notebook. Finding a pen, you began to mindlessly draw little doodles of whatever came to mind. 

You were actually enjoying the peace and quiet until the front door bell chimed. Before you could react, JJ Maybank took the spot right across from you. "Can I help you?" You scoffed, closing the notebook. 

"Nope. I'm helping my friend out and it looks like you happen to be doing the same thing for your friend too." JJ said, looking behind his shoulder to see his friend give him a thumbs up. You rolled her eyes, defensively crossing your arms.

"Okay, well how about you move to the other booth where you can 'help' by yourself." JJ dramatically put his hand to his heart, "does Y/F/N Y/L/N not want to spend time with me?" "The last time I was near you it didn't end well." You hissed. JJ immediately got quiet as the waitress came up to deliver your order.

"Oh! Would you like anything dear? On the house for the couple!" The waitress smiled, "oh no we're not-" "actually I would love a hamburger and a chocolate milkshake please!" JJ grinned. "Coming right up." 

"Seriously JJ why can't you just sit somewhere else?" You asked as you dipped a fry into the milkshake. JJ furrowed his eyebrows as he watched you take a bite. "What? It's good." You defended.

"See I could, but Steve made me promise to help him out. And now I get to talk to you which is exactly what I want to be doing on my Friday night." Sarcasm dropped from his voice as you bite your tongue.

"Well you can leave. You never were good at keeping promises anyway." You seethed, taking the cherry out of the milkshake and popping into your mouth. JJ became quiet once more as the sudden flashback hit him.

Flashback:

2 years. 2 years was all it took for something so positive and bright, to turn into something dead. 2 years was all it took for JJ Maybank to own, and then break your heart. 

You two had been dating for a full two years, both of you guys admitting you were in love. Making promises that you two couldn't keep. One of them being, 'I'll always love you.' 

JJ broke that the minute his lips touched some tourons at an end of the year school party. You had lost sight of your boyfriend in the middle of the party after telling him you were going to the bathroom. It took you 10 minutes to find him with the unknown girl. 

"Have you seen- oh." Your words slipped your mind as you saw a boy and girl break away from a kiss. Only to reveal that face that made your heart break. "I better... I better g-go." You stumbled over your words, your legs moving as fast as they could out of that house and far away from JJ.

You didn't know what to do, what to think, how to act, what to say, everything just became numb. Like someone had just ripped your heart from your chest, and dangled it in front of your face as if it were mocking you. So you just ran, and ran all the way to your house. Dried tears stained your face as you were panting, on the verge of passing out. 

Your mind felt fuzzy, as if it were an old TV and an antenna was knocked loose, like all you heard was static and a ringing. You shook your head frantically as you paced in the living room. A rapid knock echoed in the silent room as you let out a sob. You slowly walked to the door, your hand shaking as it hesitantly reached out.

You twisted the handle and pulled the door open to reveal a frantic JJ. "Y/N please let me-" "Don't even fucking start JJ." You said, cautiously backing away from the door. JJ walked into the house as he tried to grab hold of your wrists. 

You pulled your wrists back from JJ's grip as you began to have trouble breathing. "You fucking kissed some random girl. Who knows what the fuck would've happened if I didn't walk into that room." You mumbled to yourself as your head began to ache.

"Y/N you know I wouldn't do that!" "When you're in a relationship you don't fucking kiss somebody else! I didn't think you'd do that yet here we are!" You raised your voice as you paced again.

"Open your fucking eyes, it's so obvious I'm in love with you!" JJ yelled back, causing you to flinch, his breath smelled of alcohol. Your eyes suddenly fell to the ground, afraid to look at him without breaking down.

"You need to leave," your voice wavered, "you need to leave and not come back. You can't look at me. You can't speak my name. You can't have anything to do with me, Maybank. We're fucking done." You breathed out, feeling as though you had a boulder crushing your body.

"Y/N. I made you a promise that I'd love you, please let me keep going with that promise." JJ begged, his eyes burning harshly with tears. "You broke your promise, you can't come back from that."

JJ let out a sigh as his head slumped down, forcing his legs to walk out the front door, and out of your life.

Memory over.

"Look, this isn't a guilt trip: I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you." JJ said, fidgeting with his fingers. You sighed as you swirled the straw around the milkshake. "I don't dislike you as a human, I fucking despise what you did to me." You admitted.

"I've changed Y/N. I haven't been with any other girl, I haven't spoken with that other girl since then. Please just give me a break. I've been busy trying so fucking hard. I'm doing the best I can. Please, please don't ask more of me." JJ frowned, his leg now anxiously tapping.

You let out a scoff, but you couldn't lie to yourself. You missed being with JJ, you missed him so damn much, but you didn't want to admit it. Your eyes flickered to your friend who was standing up and giving Steve a kiss on the cheek. 

Their date was over, but you and JJ sat firmly in the booth. "Let me just drive you home like the good days, just hear me out." JJ begged. You cracked your knuckles, a habit you gained after the break up. "Fine. But so help me Maybank if you fuck it up you will never, I repeat ever come speak to me again." JJ let out a breath of relief and thanked you.

You couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of luck when he offered, glad that you chose to walk to the diner. You two sat in silence for a bit of the ride before JJ turned on the radio. 'Wonderwall' by Oasis played through the sound system, memories of this song hitting you in the face like a brick.

JJ began to obnoxiously shout the lyrics like he would when you guys went on drives together. He would roll the windows down, blast the volume and just let it all out.  At first you were annoyed with the boy, but as soon as he nudged you with his elbow you began shouting the lyrics as well. At that moment, things felt normal. Like nothing bad happened between them, and that scared you shitless.

When the song ended, JJ turned down the volume and began to speak, "you know, I never took your school photo out of my wallet. It's still there. And every night after... we broke up, I would just look at it and cry. Because I drank and I ended up losing the best thing I ever got in life. And believe me I know drinking is no excuse for what I did. I lost the one person that understood me more than my other friends, than myself. And I fucked it all up. And I know I can't take back what I did. Saying sorry won't change the hurt I made you feel. But I want you to know I'm truly trying my best to be a different person than who I was before." His voice was shaking as he found it hard to look at the road.

"I can try to forgive you Maybank, but that night has been burned into my memory. And it's gonna take a lot of time before I can forget it." You mumbled, looking out the window watching the trees zoom by.

"I'd wait 100 years if it meant that you would talk to me again." JJ muttered as he pulled into your driveway. "Do you.. want to come in? And like, catch up?" You wanted to punch yourself in the face for your offer, but again you couldn't deny how much you missed him.

JJ was shocked at your words, his mouth slightly open as he nodded his head. You walked into your house and to your luck, nobody was home.

You guys sat in your room, silence filling the air once again. You walked over to a picture frame on the desk and picked it up. The picture was of JJ after he had fallen asleep with his head in your llap. "Remember this night?" You asked as he looked over your shoulder.

"Yeah. I came over to make cupcakes for John B's birthday but we ended up just throwing flour and eggs at each other." JJ laughed loudly, remembering how he would find flour in his hair and ears for days after. "Then we sat on the couch and you laid your head in my lap. I played with your hair until you fell asleep and you snored so loud." You smiled at the memory.

"God I fucked up." He whispered. "Yeah. Yeah you did. When you sat across from me in the booth I wanted to flip my shit. I wanted to go off on you and say something like, 'oh fuck off you piece of shit. You think I care about you? That I give a damn about your feelings? Fuck off.' I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me." You confessed. 

"Damn Y/N. I- I don't even know what to say." JJ said as you faced him. You couldn't help but stare at his lips, the lips you craved so desperately. You hated yourself for this. You hated yourself for making this move, but you leaned in anyway and kissed him. You were taken back at your actions, but your knees nearly buckled at his touch.

JJ gently held the side of your face as he pulled back. "I don't want to hurt you." He said, his words echoing in your head. "I'm desperate. And I'm pretty sure you are too. This is a one time thing until you gain my trust back. But for now, just shut up and have sex with me."

[stonertransdad]

Life Update since I hadn't been on here in forever

The pandemic was/is wild! Lockdowns started literally around the time we were going to the fertility specialist to get her pregnant. I lost my job to COVID in March shortly before we did the procedure, but we decided there's never really a good time to have a kid. Why not during a global pandemic when one of us in unemployed? (BTW, I don't recommend having a kid during a pandemic. Not being able to go to all of the appointments and having to sit in the parking lot was brutal.)

Let's talk about May friends...it was rough. (TW for mention of suicide btw. I'll post a gif where it's safe to start again if you wanna skip over it.)

So May 1st is the anniversary of my father's suicide. It had been 4 years. I found his body and since he wasn't married, I had to handle his affairs and arrange his funeral. May 1st, 2020 my wife and I had a Zoom game night with our friends and I got drunk because everyone was drinking (except my wife because she was pregnant). After our game night at like 2am, I had a psychotic break. I threatened to kill myself numerous times. My wife tried to talk me down, but eventually called the cops to take me. I thank her for that because looking back, that was the moment I knew something needed to change. I was convinced the cops were gonna kill me because I'm a trans dude in rural West Texas. I legit took the phone out of my wife's hand, hung up on 911, and yeeted her phone across the backyard and tried to hop the fence. Eventually the cops came and talked me down. They took me to the hospital an hour away in handcuffs (for their protection I did nothing wrong). They took me to the religious hospital that I was born in. So when they looked up my info by my name and date of birth from my driver's license (I only changed my middle name) literally all my paperwork and my bracelet had my deadname and wrong gender despite all of my legal stuff saying male with my new middle name. I mentioned it to them and they didn't care. They misgendered me the entire time I was there. I had hit my head hella hard on the bath tub when my wife was trying to snap me out of it, did the hospital even check me for concussion? Nope. I had punched so many things and my hand and wrist were swollen and discolored. Did they check out my hand and wrist? Nope. I was there for over 10 hours before I was able to convince them I was okay and that it was just the alcohol. Did I mention during that 10 hours I was literally out in the hall on a gurney with no mask and this was when COVID was running rampant in Texas (the first time)? I heard people die that night. I had nothing to distract me because they took away all of my personal items and clothes. My wife picked me up and we went home and I have been sober ever since. It's not the first psychotic break I've had with alcohol in my system. Alcohol just doesn't agree with me, but I'm finding new things to replace it with.

TW has been lifted...it's safe now.

A couple of weeks after that I began teletherapy because I had been on the same mood stabilizer and anti-depressant for almost a decade. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that I felt like it hadn't been working for at least a year. This is a reminder to check in with your doctor if you feel like your meds aren't working. You may just need a different dose or a new med. There's no shame in that. I bounced around on various medications trying to find the right combo, some side effects scarier than others, but we got there. Before this, I had been diagnosed with ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My therapist threw out my Borderline diagnosis and said it was CPTSD instead, which made sense.

Fast forward to December because my wife was pregnant, I was unemployed still, and we did absolutely fuck-all because the global panini was still raging.

Our son was born on December 3, 2020. He weighed 5lbs 9oz and scared the ever loving shit out of us. He wasn't breathing when he was born so they called NICU in ASAP. I'm freaking out because I can hear and see what's going on while my wife was asking if he was okay as they put her guts back in place to sew her up. 5 or so minutes pass and a nurse asks if I want her to take some pictures. I'm like is he okay, he still hasn't cried. She's like "oh yeah, he's chillin." This goon was being held by a nurse and was just looking around not crying or anything. Chillest baby ever (he still is btw). I held him next to my wife's head until it was time to go back to the room. Little dude did have to spend 4 nights in the NICU because he couldn't keep his sugars or temperature regulated, but he was healthy otherwise. He's now 4 months old and is starting to sit up on his own a little bit and he's OBSESSED with standing. He's still a little guy, but very healthy and growing like a weed. He saves my life daily.

So after being unemployed for over 9 months, I started a new job working in a call center. I absolutely hate talking on the phone. It gives me anxiety and throws me into panic attacks, but I had been putting out hundreds of job applications since I lost my last job and this was the first offer I got. I wasn't really in a position to turn it down since my unemployment had ran out 2 months prior. It was 2 months of training, then we'd be on our own. I got thru the training and thought I could handle it...until they started putting us on live calls with someone helping us if we got stuck. My mental health hit the lowest point it had in a few years and my wife was terrified she was going to lose me. She convinced me to quit on February 28th (not because I didn't want to, but because I'm a stubborn ass who felt guilty). My meds got tweaked a little bit more dosage wise during this mess.

Starting about mid-February, I was experiencing severe shakiness, tremors, and spasms. I've always been a shaky person and never really thought too much about it, but at some points I could barely feed myself, or get a drink, or hold my son. On March 7th, I tried to make an appointment with my doctor about the weird symptoms I was experiencing, but she was out of town and her next opening wasn't until the 31st. My body said that won't work and my wife rushed me to the ER on the 9th...I had begun having seizures that day. I had no previous history of seizures. Got to the ER and had a seizure literally as I was walking thru the door, so they rushed me straight back. They took some blood and that was literally it. No MRI. No CT. They pumped me full of Ativan and said it was just a panic attack and to go home and chill.

Spoiler Alert: It wasn't just anxiety. I was having 20+ seizures a day. On the 10th, my wife rushed me to a different hospital...the good hospital over an hour away. First we had to drop off our gremlin with my mom to make things a little easier. Yet again, I had a seizure as I walked in the door and was taken back immediately. I don't really remember much because they kept pumping me full of Ativan and morphine because I had been in excruciating pain from the number of seizures I'd had. I do remember them doing a CT pretty quickly after I got there. Then they weren't happy with the results of the CT, so they took me to get an MRI, which showed possible signs of Multiple Sclerosis (but I didn't find that out until AFTER the notes showed up in my patient portal after being home a few days, so I raised hell...more on that later.) They did a 24 hour EEG on me and it showed nothing abnormal. Also, EEG glue is a bitch on your hair and scalp. After looking at everything and given my previous mental health history, they diagnosed me with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures, or PNES. It is a subset of Functional Neurologic Disorder, or FND. I couldn't walk well anymore and had to use a walker when I was discharged. I was in the hospital for 3 days.

When I had my follow-up appointment on the 23rd, I asked why the possibility of MS was never mentioned to me since it was very clearly in the notes. The doctor didn't have an explanation. He called in a referral to neurology so I could get a 2nd MRI to confirm MS and marked it as high priority. He also didn't take my pain seriously. My pain levels had been at a 5 or higher every single minute since they took me off of the morphine in the hospital. He told me to keep taking prescription strength doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol, which I had been. I let him know I had been and it didn't even take the edge off the pain. He ignored me. Leading up to this appointment, I had also added urinary incontinence to my growing list of symptoms and was forced to wear diapers so I didn't have to do laundry all the time. The doctor also took me off my ADHD meds because they were lowering my seizure threshold. He also took me off of my sleeping meds and nightmare meds for the same reason I'm assuming.

I kept my appointment on the 31st with my primary doctor because she's been my doctor for 5 years now and I knew she'd take my pain seriously. She did. She immediately wrote me prescriptions for a muscle relaxer and Tylenol 4. She also told me that my referral had been rejected by neuro. She said my case wasn't a good one for what she called a "wallet biopsy" and the doctors in neurology could be real assholes. She immediately sent the referral to other locations to get an approval. I am still waiting on that despite it being marked as high priority. She wrote me a prescription for a wheelchair because we both agreed my wheelchair was not enough for particular days.

Yesterday my wheelchair was finally ready for pickup, so my wife drove me to go get it. I'm still unable to drive due to my seizures and my tremors and twitches as it's predominantly in my legs and arms. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user now. Some days I can go short distances without my walker, some days I can't go without my walker, some days I can't even get out of bed, and some days I will be using my wheelchair. Don't judge a book by its cover, not all disabilities are visible. I have managed to keep my daily seizure count down in single digits and have even had a few seizure free days. They are still incredibly taxing on my body. I feel like I can't ever replenish my spoons fast enough to keep up with anything in my life.

So all in all, life has been chaotic. We are moving from Texas to New Mexico in the next few weeks, which should be interesting considering I can't overdo it without throwing myself into seizures. We will be closer to my mother-in-law so she can help us with our son and I can start resting a bit more on the more difficult days. Being a stay-at-home dad with an invisible illness has been one of the most challenging things I've done in my life, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to update my followers since it's been over a year since I posted before a few days ago.

[thekeigospichula]

I was thinking about omegaverse A!Katsuki doctor and O!Izuku single mom. This is a vomiting word, but I'm planning make a mini fic?

Cw// Mysogyn/ anxiety attack / violence (?) /

Bakugo was in his break, usually he got food of the hospital dinner, but nah, he was tired of that shit.

The nearest restaurant was a fast food place, they served hamburgers and trash food

Ago some time that he didn't eat that shit.

He sat in one of the free tables waiting for a waitress to take his order. He looked at the window bored, today was a relaxed day, no much patients in the hospital— really weird— and the city was really silent.

"YOU STUPID BITCH!" well, he was wrong. A crash sounded before the loud scream.

"I'm so sorry sir, I'll bring you a new order" Bakugo looked at the table behind him, a little omega was kneeled picking up the plates from the floor.

"You stupid omega, my shoes now are all dirt" the comensal said angry looking down at the omega.

"I'm so sorry" the smaller man said shivering before the alfa's voice. Well, poor man.

"Do you think that you apologize will clean my shoes? I'm hungry and now I have to wait more time for my food because a stupid bitch threw it" the omega stand up whit the dishes in his hands and bowed in apologize.

"I'm really sorry, I'll priority your order sir, you won't wait so much, and I'm so sorry"

Bakugo was pissed whit the alfa, the omega already apologized and will bring him new food. He looked at the rest of the people in the place, they were only three more people, and everyone were in them own business, well, he didn't like this kind of shit, but he couldn't see more the poor omega struggling whit that bitch.

"Hey-" the rude alfa stand up and spill his soda in the omega's head, then took him by the collar. Fine enough.

Bakugo stood up as well and gripped the other alfa's arm.

"Hey, ya, that's enough, what's your fucking problem, he is two heads shorter than you" the man let go the omega whit a push, falling in his ass and his poor aching hips. He wanted to cry, that really hurted, he tried to stand up, but his hips wasn't coopering.

"My problem is that a fucking omega throw my food, this is why they should just give us pups and stay in them fucking home whitout trouble u-"

And the alfa was in the floor, whit his bloody nose aching and surprised, and Bakugo was surprised too, the omega was ago one second in the floor and then punching the alfa's face. Bakugo stepped behind the omega, who was trembling, whit his knuckles red and soring, tears in his eyes, but with a sharp sight looking towards the man.

"You know shit about me and omegas, shut your stupid fucking mouth" the omega said whit fire in his eyes, he was wet for the soda, already crying and trembling in his tiny frame, he should look weak and little, but no, Bakugo was seeing that green eyes full of determination, he was seeing a strong human that punched an alfa two fucking heads taller than him and even making that bitch bleed.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE" a man screamed and the omega flinched, suddenly looking small again, Bakugo looked at the man whit a name plate that said below his name "manager", fucking great.

"Mr. Yoshida" the greenet said whit a thread of voice.

"You are the manager? because this bitch threw my food, and punched me in the face, is that the way you treat your clients here? I'm going to demand" the fucker said, the manager looked angry at the smaller man.

"Yeah, you deserved it" Bakugo said.

"What?" The manager asked.

"Who the hell are you?" Asked the stupid alfa.

"Well, I was trying to relax in my fucking break, until that stupid started to scream like a crazy weirdo about a stupid accident, fucker was too close to hurt..."

"Midoriya" said low the omega.

"Yeah, him" Bakugo said "He was really sexist tho"

"But he punched me, I'm going to demand"

"I would like to see a sexist bitch demanding a little omega because broke your nose, let's see what the people say about it" Bakugo said whit a grin.

"Fuck you, fuck all you, I'm not going to return" the alfa step out of the restaurant letting the omega and the beta manager. The manager bowed taking the omega's head to bow like him.

"We are so sorry, your order will be free, sorry for everything" the manager said, poking the omega's ribs.

"I'm so sorry sir" the beta stand up yanking the omega's arm to another room. Another employed cleaned the floor and brought his food. Bakugo wanted to talk whit the little man, he wanted to see that green eyes again, green, his mind was full of green. But the omega never came back. He waited for thirteen minutes, his shift ended ago ten, but he couldn't wait more. He stand up upset and left the restaurant, he could come again another day.

When he was in the parking, a sobs reached his ears, following the sound, he found the omega, he was in the floor, his hair still wet but whit civil clothes instead the red uniform of the restaurant. He was crying whit his hands on his face and his knees in his chest, his shoulders were shivering and his sobs were broken.

Midoriya couldn't lose this job, he couldn't lose any of his works, he needed the money to pay for his child school, the apartment, the food, the gas, the new clothes because the children grow up really fast, he need pay the light, the water, his suppressors and patches, his tampons, the stuff that his child use to the school, he needed his jobs because he was alone, taking care of his only child, he needed so much jobs because they didn't paid him the same than an alfa or beta, and he had to do the double of work, and he was lucky, because in another places they fired him when discovered he had a pup. Without this work, he couldn't pay the rent of the month, he had to stop buying his suppressors and patches, because that were really expensive, and the gas, maybe one month whitout gas they would be fine, but his pup will get a cold and-

"Hey" Midoriya flinched at the low voice and red eyes met his. He tried to stand up, but his hips were in pain, fine, another thing to add.

Bakugo take his arm, helping him to stand up, actually, he just lift him from the floor like he didn't weight anything.

"You good?" Bakugo asked, and immediately felt like a stupid, but the man was afraid that the omega was injured for the fall.

" I-im-" Midoriya was embarrassed, he wasn't okay, anything was okay, but hey, he couldn't say that to the gorgeous alfa before him "I'm okay, thank you for... everything" Midoriya said staring at the floor didn't dare to look at that red eyes" I'm sorry for the troubles and thank you for defend me" the green eyed bowed "I-I gotta go, sorry for the troubles again" god, he wanted to disappear, but before he could run away, a hand grabbed his shoulder stopping him.

"You don't look fine" and there, Katsuki making fool of himself again, the cute omega frowned and wipe his tears whit the sleeve of his sweater.

"Haha, sorry, I'm fine, this is just the way I look, but I'm fine" now was the turn to Katsuki to frown. The omega was cute, yes he was really pale and had bags under his eyes, he looked... tired, but Bakugo bet that if the little man dream a little more, he would look more healthy, because he had beautiful eyes and cute freckles, his lips were puffy and his eyelashes really long, his nose was so fucking cut- "Anyways, thank you for your help" Midoriya walked away trying to don't cry, he was a grown adult whit a child to feed, he needed to find a new job as soon as possible, no time to cry.

"Wait!" Katsuki run after him, he couldn't let a person that is in a mental breakdown alone, what kind of doctor would be? So, he stood up in front of the omega making him flinch in the act, fuck "Sorry for that, but I'm a doctor and I can see how you struggle walking, if you wanna come whit me at the hospital where I work, we can check on you, this could be nothing, but yeah, is better checking out, what do you think?" Midoriya had already an answer. The man looked rich, that means he works in a expensive hospital, and he didn't have the money to pay for something as simple as a little fall, he was fine, he's been always fine, what he needed was found a new job, yeah, and come back to the apartment and wash the clothes, clean the mess in the kitchen and cook the dinner to his pup before pick him up from- "Will be really quick, I got my car and if you don't feel secure we can send your location to a familiar yours-"

"I'm fine, thank you for the concern, but I'm fine, I feel really fine, I'm used to have little pains sometimes, I mean, all of us got one or two, it's really fine" Midoriya said whit a fake smile avoiding the crimson eyes. And Bakugo, well, he was even more worried now, I mean, you don't have to be used to some fucking pains, bullshit, he needed to check on the man, he needed to ask where he felt pain, since when he has been feeling this pains, he needed to ask his diet and his clinic historial, he needed to ask how is he feeling, if he's already eaten, he needed to ask his name, and what is his favorite color and... The hell?

"I don't wanna sound insistent, but a "little pains" could desenvolve big pains" the alfa sighed and took out his wallet giving to the greenete a card "Here, my number and the address of the hospital, if you feel bad or something call me, or go here and say you know me, they gonna attend you, okay?" Midoriya frowned whit tears in his eyes, he felt humilliated, and no for the kind man, but even if this man give him especial treatment, he couldn't afford an hospital, he couldn't even afford a freaking toy to his pup, how could he pay for that?, and he broke one more time. Before the sight of the man, he hided his face on his hands don't wanting to look more miserable.

Bakugo was confused and felt like shit, he felt like he made cry to the man and well, he was a shit comforting people, he was really bad talking about feelings and all that human and social stuff, so, he just stood there, feeling like a stupid without knowing what to do, until the man spoke.

"So-orry" the omega said in a broken sob "I can't pay for an hospital" his voice broke in the las word, Bakugo frown deeper feeling his chest aching "I was fired of this job" the omega kneel down in the parking floor "I don't know how I'm going to do to the rent of this month, anybody want to give me a job unless I accept less than they should pay me, and I can't afford anything whit that stupid salary, I need to feed a pup, and pay his school, and all his needs" the man was letting out all, he felt drowning in his own skin, and for a moment he just let himself be "My stupid back is always in pain, I can't whit my hips, and my stupids varicose are killing me, I have to carry my pup to all places because he is a baby, and I love carring him in my arms, but God, nobody can give me his fucking sit for only five freaking minutes in the bus" at this moment Bakugo was kneel besides the omega in the bench and caressing the omega's trembling back, just listening, and wanting to protect him of the world. Maybe was the distress smell in the air or he was feeling empathy once in his live, but yeah, the people are fucking assholes. Midoriya rised his face seeing at the crimson eyes, and fuck, these beautiful emeralds was full in pain and madness, the omega was mad "Today is the only day that I have- well HAD only one job, and I had time to do the house, but always this shitty alfas are there saying what I'm or what to do, and God, let me alone I didn't pay your opinion, or the old people judging me for being a single mom, or trying to touch my baby saying "look what adorable baby, he could be really cute if you feed him better, he is really slender" sir, I know I need to feed my pup better, but he is already cute and I don't need him hearing your bullshit" and yes, the fire was again in that beautiful eyes "I swear, that if listen someone saying something about my pup, I'm going to tear some throats" the omega sigh, feeling a little better, actually, cursing and complain about his problems felt really good. Looking at his hands, scarred and rough sighed again, because that was just the start of his complaining, but he already lost so much time "Sorry for that" said now embarrassed whit the alfa, because anyone want to listen the problems of an omega, surely the other man had things to do and he was there wasting his time.

"Na, it's fine, the people in this city are assholes and it's not your fault" Bakugo said still caresing the omega's back whitout realizing it, he was busier trying to control his anger, the audacity of the assholes.

The omega wiped his cheeks awkwardly, god, he told all that? Why he had to say all that? Regret stared to grow in his throat in a knot, hiding his face again on his hands.

"Sorry, sir..." Midoriya hesitated.

"Bakugo" the blond answered "And don't apologize curls" the blond looked at the freckled cheeks turned beautifuly red and the green eyes avoided his.

"Mr Bakugo, your hand..." The doctor wide his eyes, his hand was in the freckled cheek, in what moment that happened?, awkwardly stood up offering a hand to the green man who accepted whit his cheeks still red, anyways, he didn't have other choice.

"Listen" the blond said scratching his nape "The consult will be free, fine?" Now Bakugo was the one avoiding the emerald sight "And I remembered that are soliciting cleaning staff in the hospital.." The green eyes wided not expecting that, he knows that the blond was offering help because he felt pity for him, but Midoriya had a baby to feed, he needed a job, and if this handsome alfa before him was offering a solution, he was going to take it, but he was still impacted.

"I-I, that w-ould, I mean-"

"Don't say nothing, if you wanna come, we can check you and got you an interview or something" the alfa stared at the crying omega "What the-"

"Thank you" the omega said relieved wiping his tears "Thank you so much for this opportunity, I'm going to do my best and I owe you so much, if you need something from I'm going to do-"

"Hey, hey, stop there, shit" the alfa stopped his word taking him by the shoulders "It's fine, you don't owe me shit, okay" since where he is this kind? "Just, come whit me, someone will check you and then we're going to get you that job, fine?" the omega nodded agreeing, making the alfa sigh in relief "Fine, my car is here, send your location to someone, the hospital address is in the card send that too, my number is there, send it" the omega nodded taking out his old phone, and he made as he was sending his location, the omega was alone, but the alfa didn't need to know that.

First: Anyways, I have Twitter, so, people that follow me for the idea bout Midoriya without an arm and Deaf Bakugo, I'll post the shit there. I don't know how to use AO3 (sorry), so, until I learn how to use it, I'll post in Twitter.

Second: I'll correct this shit later, I'm tired

[v1rg1nvodkasprite]

Greaser → Ben Hardy (Part IX)

Summary

Due to Shenanigans, you have been sent back in time to the 1960s. You find yourself in a high school. You also find someone very intriguing but he’s unrestrained.

Warnings: sickness, language, angst, hospitalization, fluff.

Notes: series is coming close to the end. i hope you like this and thank you for reading. x

I woke up to Ben moaning and groaning. He had turned onto his other side, facing away from. The bed shook as he shook violently.

"Ben?" I called out touching his shoulder. His body temperature had spiked and sweat covered his body. "You're burning up, are you okay?" I asked.

"I feel sick," he said hugging himself, shaking more. "Just stay here. I'll get you some water," I said, getting up and going to the kitchen. It seemed like he had the flu and it was probably just the affects of going 50 years into the future.

I came back with a glass of water but he was out of bed. His body was hunched over, throwing up into the small trash can by my desk. "Oh, babe. I'm so sorry," I said, setting the glass of water on the desk and sitting down next to him.

"I'm sorry," he said, as I rubbed his back. "Don't be sorry. It's okay, you're just a little sick," I said. He sniffed a little bit, "I think I'm just gonna take a shower, where's your bathroom?" he asked, getting up, supporting himself against the edge of the desk. "It's just right down at the end of the hall. I got you some water," I said, handing him the glass I got him earlier, "I'll help you turn on the water."

I led him to the bathroom, his clammy hand holding mine. I leaned turned on the faucet and let the water warm up, "Is the temperature okay?" I asked and he leaned down to feel the water. "That's good. Thank you, love," he said and smiled sickly. I nodded, turning on the shower.

"Just let me know if you need anything," I said. "You're not staying?" he asked, smirking a little bit. "Ben, you're sick. Just take the damn shower," I laughed and he playfully poured. I shook my head, smiling as I walked out, closing the door behind me.

It was about 15 minutes until he walked out, the towel hung low around his waist. Droplets of water running down his chest and torso. I might have stared a bit too long.

"Take a picture, baby. It'll last longer," he joked. I reached over to the record stand beside my bed, pulling out the white polaroid camera.

Carefully taking the camera out of the bag, I looked through the lens, preparing to snap the photo. "I didn't actually mean it," he shook his head. "Yeah but I might as well," I smiled. He looked down laughing, his hand reaching up to finger through his hair. I snapped the picture before pulling it out of the polaroid, shaking it a bit.

He sat down beside me, still in his towel. "How do you feel?" I asked. "Still like shit," he laughed. I grabbed an oversized sweatshirt, throwing it at him. "Wear that. I'll be right back. I've got to go shopping," I explained. "Babe, stay. You don't have to," he said.

"You can't just stay your old clothes for the rest of your life, especially while you're sick. You won't be comfortable. It'll only be an hour or so," I said, grabbing my wallet and keys, "I need to get you some medicine too anyways."

"Okay, hurry though," he said, pulling the sweatshirt over his head and getting under the covers. "I'll be back before you know it," I smiled, walking out of my small loft apartment.

Getting in my car, I drove to the mall. I ran to a few stores, picking out some clothes that Ben might like. I made sure, it was a bit on-trend. The whole thing was expensive but I decided that I'd just work my ass off next week to make up the difference.

I drove back to my apartment, unlocking the door and walking in. "Ben," I called out but there was no response. I set down the bags of clothes on the couch. "I got you some clothes. How are you feeling?" I called out again. There wasn't any response.

"You okay?" I asked. I opened the door to my bedroom. Ben wasn't laying on the bed like I had left him but most of the covers were off the bed. I walked around the bed and there he was. His skin was pasty and had turned pale. His lips were purple. It looked as if he was dead.

"Shit!" I whispered, kneeling down to him shaking him. He had snot running down his face and his hair was sticking to his face from the sweat. "Hey, hey. Wake up. Come on," I shook him again.

I leaned down, placing my ear near his mouth. His breathing was slow, almost silent. I cradled his face, pulling him into my lap. He had gotten significantly hotter since I last checked him. "Get up, babe. Ben, please," I said, tears welling up. Fuck.

I wrapped my arm around his torso, under his arm. I tried putting his weight against me so I could get him to my car. As I tried to get up, I fell back down. I tried again but fell.

"Fuck," I exclaimed, reaching for my phone, dialing 911. The phone rang twice before someone picked up. "911, what's your emergency?" a man asked from the other side of the line. "Hi! My friend was sick with the flu I think and now he's passed out. His breathing is slowed and he's really pale. I can't carry him so could you please send an ambulance?" I asked, frantically. "Yes, what is your address?" he asked. "9175 Thrasher Ave," my voice shook as I spoke. "Thank you, ma'am. Paramedics will be there in about seven minutes."

I got up, running to the sink and pulled out a rag. I quickly wet it with warm water and went back to Ben. I pulled his head back onto my lap, dabbing the cloth against his forehead. "Please, be okay. Please, be okay," I whispered, moving a strand of hair out of his face. I wrapped a large, heavy blanket around him, trying to get him to break his fever.

A couple of minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I ran to it, opening the door. It was the paramedics. I led them to where Ben laid, unconscious. "His name?" one of them asked. "Ben Hardy. Is he going to be okay?" I asked. "We'll take good care of him. Are you riding in the ambulance or driving yourself?" they asked.

"I'll drive," I said. I probably needed a ride back to the apartment, depending on whether or not he could come home later tonight or not.

They put him on the gurney, caring him out to the ambulance. I watched them carefully rolling him into the back and shutting the door before a couple of them got in the back with him. I got in my car, just waiting and thinking everything over. None of this was going to plan.

It might have just been too much for his body. Maybe we should've prepped more. Surely, he'll be okay. I sighed, turning on the car and backing out, following the ambulance.

When we got to the hospital, I followed Ben to the room he was put in. "What's wrong with him?" I asked as they set him up in the bed. "He's got a fever of 103.4. The nurse will be in here a second to run some more tests. Do you mind if we ask a few questions?" a woman said as the other paramedics got him settled. I nodded.

"When did he start feeling sick?" she asked. "He had a headache last night and this morning it just blew up," I explained. After a few more questions and some paperwork, which I tried to fill out as much as possible, a nurse came in to run some test.

"Ma'am, are you family?" she asked, sanitizing her hands and putting on some gloves. "No, but-" I started to say but she cut me off. "I'm going to have to ask you to wait outside. I'll be done soon and then you'll be able to come back," she said, turning to Ben. "Okay," I said quietly, walking out.

The image of Ben on the ground, pale and unconscious stayed in my mind. What the fuck could possibly be wrong? Was this really just some flu-like thing? The thoughts raced through my mind as my leg bounced. To say I was anxious was an understatement.

"Ben Hardy?" a woman called out. I stood up, a worried look on my face. "Everything's done, if you'd like to see him."

I nodded, following her back to the room. I was met with Ben sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed. He looked less pale then before but dark circles had started to form and his face had thinned significantly since I last saw him. This was all going to fast.

"How is he?" I asked. The nurse turned to me, taking off the gloves and mask. "It's one of the weirdest cases, I've seen. We're going to have to monitor him throughout the night. It seems as if his body is fighting itself. It's not cancer but his cells are killing themselves and his immune system isn't doing anything at all," she explained. This wasn't the flu.

"Pam, we need you in Room 147. It's a 68 year old male. Fever of 103.4. It's urgent," she sighed, "I'll be back to answer any other questions you have."

I looked to Ben, sitting in the chair beside his bed. There was crying from outside the room. I stood up, looking behind the curtain. It was an elderly woman. "Please, all this just started last night. I thought it was just a headache and then he fell and wouldn't wake up," she cried. I was confused that was the same situation as Ben.

Maybe this was something more than what it seemed. "Name?" I heard from outside the room. "Benjamin Hardy," the woman from before said. What the fuck.

taglist

@rrrogah-tayluhh , @simplyvictoria-93 , @rencontre-moi-dans-le-couloir , @kirket03 , @plethora-of-things , @satanspaghetti , @rogersrager , @spreadymercury , @hi-i-dont-know , @kurt-nightcrawler

[dorotheajanegilmore]

Devil’s Daughter [Dean Winchester]

Previous: 1,2,3,4,5

Warnings: family drama (kind of an abusive mother? Neglectful might be a better word)

Characters: Elle (Ofc), Dean, Sam, Jack, Castiel.

Chapter six

My nap ended when we were an hour away from Rochester. I woke to the sound of loud talking but when I looked around, everyone was silent.

"And if she's my sister then could I have more siblings? Perhaps Lucifer got around more than we know. What if she's more powerful than me because her mother's a demon? Lilith has power right? Why is she staring at me?"

Jack gave me an awkward smile as I looked up at him with wide eyes. I opened my mouth to say something when I began to hear another persons thoughts.

"I mean yeah she's hot but she's also Lucifer's Daughter. No Dean, you cannot go there! Control your thoughts, focus on the road asshole!"

Listening to Dean's thoughts got interrupted when I accidentally glanced at Sam and then I got his full inner monologue.

"Poor girl's probably terrified. Imagine waking up battered and bruised, being kidnapped and tortured and then being brought to us idiots? I mean, she seems fine. She hasn’t really tried to escape us so I guess she must like us a little."

Before Castiel's thoughts could enter my mind as well I put my hands over my ears and yelled "Could you all stop thinking for just one second!"

Receiving concerned stares from them I sighed and pulled my hands down to my side. "I can hear what you're all thinking. Jack, yes you might have more siblings out there and no I don't think I'm more powerful than you. Dean, yes you should concentrate on the road asshole. And yes Sam, yes I am terrified but yes I do like you idiots. Please can everyone just try to silence their minds until I can figure out how to keep out of them? Thank you."

I sank back in my seat in a huff, arms folded and breathing heavily. I did everything I could to distract myself from not listening to what everyone was thinking, the only thing seeming to work for now was singing songs in my mind.

———

"Elle. Elle. Come on Elle, we're here." Dean placed a hand on my shoulder and gently rocked me.

I opened my eyes to see him leaning through the car door trying to wake me. He gave me a soft smile and held out a hand. I took it and he helped me out of the old car.

My hand felt strange in his, like there was some sort of electricity travelling from his palm to mine. I felt butterflies in my stomach as his green eyes looked down at me and his lips curved up into a smile. No, Elle. You can’t develop feelings for this guy! No.

As he pulled me to my feet I instantly recognised my surrounding. I looked across the street to see the familiar grey house standing loud and proud with bright white windows and a cute picket fence.

"I used to dream of having a house like this. It is the American dream right? I can practically smell the freshly baked pie." Dean admitted, looking down to me with sad eyes. "Instead I got motel rooms and vending machine dinners."

I shrugged and looked ahead at the house. "It's not what it's all cracked up to be. I'd take adventure over boredom any day. My mother has never baked a pie and my dad was never around. Both too busy for me and Hallie but seemed to have all the time in the world for Alex. Trust me when I say, suburban family life brings nothing but trouble."

I walked up the driveway with nothing but anger boiling through me as I remembered how little my mother cares for me. The only reason I insisted on coming here was to see my father, sister and baby brother and collect my things.

I stopped outside the front door on the little porch and looked back at Dean, who was a few feet behind me. "Don't believe me? Watch this." His eyes bore into my back as I pressed the little white door bell.

A few seconds passed before door opened, exposing a chirpy Rose Ramsey in a blue floral apron and a warm expression. Her warm expression faded when she noticed it was just me. "Oh, Hi Elle. What brings you here?" She said blandly, disappointed that it was only me.

"Hi Mom, nice to see you too. Huh? Oh yeah I'm good thanks, not too bad. Can I come on?" I sarcastically responded and she rolled her eyes.

"Less of the attitude daring, men don't like snarky girls." She pulled back the door to let me in before she noticed the company behind me. "Oh, dear. Who are your friends?”

Her fake smile returned as we stepped into the hallway. I didn't answer and walked directly into the living room.

My father sat in his brown recliner chair in the corner by the window, reading his newspaper. As always.

"Elle! Darling, me and Hallie have been worried sick!" My father rushed to his feet and quickly swept me up into his loving arms. Dad was never around much due to work but when he was, it was amazing! He's was the loving and caring parent while my mom is more...distant and cold.

"Well glad to know someone cares about me." I admired into the shoulder of his shirt.

"ELLE! OH MY GOD!" Hallie's feet thumped down the stairs as she ran at me, practically tackling me into the couch.

"I've been worried sick! You haven't answered any of my calls or texts. I lost you a month ago at that damn club where the hell have you been oh my god! I have the police out looking for you!" Hallie rambled angrily at me, furiously wiping tears from her eyes.

My mother scoffed and put her hands on her hips. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Enough of the dramatics, Hallie. I told you she'd be fine. Probably just pulling a stunt on us, you know how Elle is."

"Actually." Dean interrupted, stepping forward and pulling his wallet from his pocket. "I'm FBI Agent Caplin and this is my partner Agent O'Connell. Police saved your daughter from a kidnapper a few days ago and we were just safely bringing her home."

I smirked impressed at Dean’s quickly thought up lie. Some might call it tasteless but I appreciated it, it was sweet. He didn’t have to do that for me but he did, and I’d definitely owe him later on.

My mother looked absolutely flabbergasted. She opened her mouth to say something but all that came out were stutters. Her face paled out and she looked like she had seen a ghost. "Elle..." she breathed out, not knowing what to say to me. "Did you seriously put yourself in danger like that? How did you let a kidnapped get to you?"

Of course she would say that. Of course it's my fault. I sighed and shrugged. "I don't know mom, maybe I was bored. I think I just got really bored and said you know what I feel like doing today? Getting myself kidnapped."

"Unbelievable." Dean mumbled to himself. He could feel himself getting riled up, not knowing how one person could be so cruel and heartless. He kept thinking to himself how can anybody seriously twist a situation to blame the victim? He was about two seconds from flipping when he felt Sam pinch his arm, silently warning him to keep his cool.

"Right, well we'll be leaving now. We need to finish up the paperwork in our car." Sam told my mother and looked at me.

Take as long as you need, we'll wait for you in the impala. I'm so sorry Elle.

I nodded and he sent me a small smile. He turned around and began pulling Dean out of the house and down the path.

Jack looked at me like he had no idea what to do. I quickly stood up and rushed over to him. I could see the confusion on my mother's face as she looked between me, Jack and Castiel.

"Mom, Dad, Hallie, this is Jack and his father Castiel. Jack's a friend from the college." I introduced them and they received warm welcomes from my mother, something that I was certainly not going to get.

After an hour or so of catching up with my dad and Hallie, Alex came in from his play room. He gravitated towards me, his little 3-year old legs carrying him as fast as they could.

"Elle! Elle!" He lifted his arms up signalling that he wanted me to pick him up. I did so and sat him on my knee. "Where go? Where go?" He lifted his hands up in a questioning manner, it was incredibly cute!

"I've been busy little dude." I told him as he looked up at me with his little blue eyes. "I've missed you pal." I gave him a up and he giggled.

He looked over my shoulder and began waving at Jack. He started trying to jump out of my arms to get to him and I laughed.

"He likes you, Jack." I told the weary angel and he smiled.

"Hi there little human." Jack waved back at Alex innocently. I laughed at how pure the moment was before a thought entered my head. My brother was meeting my brother, but little Alex could never know that.

I could never tell my parents that I was a miracle baby from Lucifer and Lilith to them. How would I even start to explain that? They’d have me in a straight jacket before I could blink.

Alex started crying and my mom took him of off me to give him his pacifier. She bounced him on her hip as she looked at me. "Have you lost weight? You have a bags under your eyes? Oh and chapped lips, come on Elle how much does lip balm cost?"

As my mother began listing my faults I slapped my hands down on my knees and stood up. "Please excuse me for a second."

I hurried passed my mother and up the stairs. I stepped into my old room and ran to my wardrobe. I pulled down the purple suitcase and threw it on my bed.

I ripped all of my clothes out of my wardrobe and threw them onto my bed. Underwear, pyjamas, jeans, skirts, dresses, everything I owned landed on the bed in a massive pile.

I looked at the mess on my desk, before my Crowley instructed kidnapping happened I was on spring break and so brought all of my NYU work home with me. I slid it of the desk into the small trash can, it over flowed and filled up the space beside my bed. I shrugged, I'll finish that at some point.

After throwing everything I wanted to keep onto my bed I looked at it with wide eyes. The mountain of materials made my head ache. No one needs this much crap. I shrugged and began packing. Knowing that the purple case wasn't gonna hold everything I thought for a moment....what if I use my "powers".

I pushed myself up from the ground and lifted my right hand. I envisioned the glowing red powers again and they appeared in my palm. I then imagined one of my t-shirts levitating into my case and sure enough, the red wisps traveled through the air to the garment and put it in my case.

———

Dean was sitting at the wheel looking at the map. The journey home is going to be a long one. A flash of light caught his attention and he looked around, he couldn't see anything. A few seconds later It happened again and he followed the trail of red light.

A window on the Ramsey's second floor was aglow with red energy. He smiled to himself as he saw Elle using her power to pack her suitcase.

"I have a feeling we're gonna be stuck with her for a while, Sammy." Dean said randomly.

Sam furrowed his brows, wondering what on Earth his brother was talking about. Dean nodded to the window and Sam looked up. He looked back down at his dad's journal with a smile.

"We better prepare one of the spare rooms."

Tags: @lilulo-12 @vicmc624

[angstmatsuscenarios]

How about a scenario explaining why Osomatsu broke his leg in that short? I'm not sure if it was ever stated but go for it!

Okay so I know this isn’t even close to what would have happened but…this idea just popped into my head and I fell in love with it because we need more Osomatsu and Chibita interaction (and look minor Chibita angst!).

Warning for mentions of accidents and broken bones under  the cut:

“C’mon, Chibita, just this once?” Osomatsu pleaded, a whine in his voice. He slouched at the counter of the oden stand, pouting. “You really want me to go hungry?”

“Ya ain’t gonna go hungry, ya idjit—just go home and eat,” Chibita responded with an irritated huff. “I ain’t feedin’ ya anything until your tab is paid off.”

“Aw man, who knows when that will be?” Osomatsu complained, then realized that didn’t exactly help his case. “I’ll pay you back next time. I’ll win big at the horse races or pachinko or something!”

“Okay, good, pay me then—and until you do, ya ain’t getting any oden from me.” Chibita refused to budge, regarding Osomatsu with his arms crossed.

“Alright, fine,” Osomatsu groaned, defeated. “I bet you would’ve given in if my brothers had been here, too.” Six was far more intimidating than one, but he was on his own that day, his brothers all occupied by their own activities.

“Ya think I can’t take you six same idjits on?” Chibita laughed at that as he turned to check his fridge. When he did, he cursed to himself. “Dammit, outta beer. Ya wanna make yourself useful and watch the stand while I go buy more to restock?”

Osomatsu perked up. “I’ll watch it, on one condition. Give me some oden when you get back and consider it done.” He smirked, knowing his offer was good.

Chibita sighed, resigned. “Dammit…well, I guess you’ll at least be doin’ something for once. Okay, you got a deal. I’ll be right back.”

“Yes!” Osomatsu pumped his fist victoriously in the air, while Chibita ditched his apron and prepared to leave.

“Yeah, yeah.” Chibita just shook his head at Osomatsu, but he didn’t seem too angry, which Osomatsu considered a good sign. He started down the sidewalk, heading across the street, and Osomatsu stood up to take his position behind the counter.

Osomatsu surveyed the stand, feeling important for a moment, being put in charge of the business at least temporarily. And then he noticed something—Chibita’s wallet tucked in a shelf under the counter. Crap, he couldn’t pay for the beer if he didn’t have his money on him.

Quickly he snatched up the wallet, then ducked out from behind the stand, rushing to catch up to Chibita. The shorter man was already making his way across the street. “Oi, you forgot your—!”

Osomatsu froze then when he heard it—a low rumbling sound that was coming up far too fast. He whipped his head to the side to see a truck taking a sharp turn and barreling down the street, straight toward Chibita. It was clear the he didn’t realize it was coming, until it was so close that fear froze him in place.

“Chibita, watch out!!”

Time seemed to slow down then. Osomatsu raced out into the street, shoving Chibita out of harm’s way before he could think twice. The truck hurtled by with an ear-splitting honk of its horn, narrowly missing running down both men as they stumbled and just barely dodged it. Osomatsu was only vaguely aware of his leg bending at an odd angle beneath him, or the cracking sound that followed.

Then the ground came up too fast and knocked his head with a jarring smack, and everything faded to black.

—————

The doctors said Osomatsu was lucky.

He was lucky he hadn’t been hit by that speeding truck, and that the bump to his head wasn’t a serious concussion. He was lucky the worst of his injuries sustained was a broken leg—a pretty bad fracture that would take quite a few weeks to heal, granted, but it could have been so much worse.

Osomatsu was grateful for that, he really was…but at the same time he was so worried about Chibita that he was too preoccupied to think too much of himself. He asked the doctors question after question, wondering if his friend was okay, but got the same meager response every time—he’d been taken to the hospital too, but he was fine. No more details than that. Was he really fine?

Osomatsu’s family was quick to rush out and see him, of course. Everyone was relieved it wasn’t worse, and Matsuyo wouldn’t let go of his hand the entire time they were there, tears streaming down her cheeks. Osomatsu was temporarily distracted from his thoughts about Chibita as he assured his family over and over again that he was fine, and telling them what happened.

Eventually, the doctor appeared again. Osomatsu expected him to say that visiting hours were over, or that they needed to do another examination, but that wasn’t the case.

“You have another visitor,” he said, and nodded slightly toward the rest of the family gathered around. “But…he asked if he could possibly visit you in private, if that’s okay.”

Osomatsu exchanged a quick, curious glance with the rest of his family. “Yeah…I guess. I’ll see you again soon, okay?”

His family chorused their goodbyes, and Matsuyo gave his hand another squeeze before reluctantly leaving. Once they were gone, the doctor ushered his new guest into the room.

“Chibita!” Osomatsu sat up a little straighter, wincing as pain flared up in his leg and stabbed at his bruised ribs at the simple movement. “Ow…I was worried about you. Are you okay?”

Chibita walked silently to the side of Osomatsu’s bed, his expression somber. Osomatsu briefly assessed his injuries—there were bruises and scrapes here and there, and he had a thick bandage on his chin, but he didn’t look too bad. Yet why wasn’t he talking?

“Ahh…Chibita?”

“Oso…” That was when Osomatsu noticed tears in Chibita’s eyes, almost to his alarm—Chibita never cried. Before he could say anything, Chibita practically lunged at him, wrapping his arms around Osomatsu’s neck in a hug.

“Ah, careful, Chibita…” Osomatsu winced, too sore to move and return the unexpected gesture.

“Osomatsu, ya idjit…” Chibita blubbered, easing his grip slightly but still hugging him tight. “Ya saved my life! I woulda been smashed against the front of that truck if it wasn’t for you!”

“Chibita…” Osomatsu whispered, not sure what to say. His own eyes were beginning to pool with tears at the display, and finally he managed to lift one arm and wind it around Chibita as he returned the embrace.

“Ya coulda just stood there, but ya didn’t…” Chibita sniffled hard.

“What, and let one of my best friends get hit? No way!” Osomatsu managed a wavering smile. “I could never do that to you. Look…I know I’m not the greatest person. I’m a mooch, and I don’t pay you often enough. But…you’re still one of my best friends ever even if I do a lousy job of showing it. And I’d never let anything happen to you, either.”

Chibita couldn’t say anything at first, just kept hugging Osomatsu as he sobbed softly, and Osomatsu let him as he hugged him back. His sobs were quieter, but he was crying too, tears rolling down his cheeks.

When at last he could speak, all Chibita could say was a husky, “Thank you…thank you, Osomatsu.”

Osomatsu just held his friend close, not wanting to let go anytime soon.

[alyce0013]

Not An Angel

Kihyun drummed his fingers, impatiently watching the clock. He knew his co-workers had noticed his nervousness, but he honestly couldn't care less. He couldn't wait until work was over, but was dreading it at the same time. His phone vibrated loudly in his pocket. Just two more minutes until work was over. The clock seemed to go slower for those last two minutes just to spite him.

"Kihyun? You ok?" One of his co-workers asked, as Kihyun almost ran out the door to his car. He didn't even respond. Kihyun pulled his phone out of his pocket, checking his messages. He smiled at the two from his fiance Shownu, asking him when he would be home and letting him know how much he loved and missed him. He responded back with a cheesy message first. That was the kind of couple they were: super cheesy and he loves it. Kihyun reminded Shownu in the next message that he had a few errands to run and he would be home late today. He followed it with a 'don't wait up'.

Kihyun had a few messages from his friends that he responded to before he switched to the last message. The number he knew he couldn't save in his phone seemingly taunting him. If he was being honest with himself he could, but he really shouldn't. It was a simple small text asking if he was on his way. He felt butterflies in his stomach that he knew was wrong. Kihyun sent a short response. His hands shook a bit from nerves as he turned his car on to finally leave.

The drive was short, but it felt so long. His heart betraying him and starting to pound so fast. He wished he could be there already. He wished he had never agreed to it in the first place. He couldn't resist the temptation though and it made him feel so disgusting inside. He told himself just this once, and then it would be done. Kihyun parked his car. He nervously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel still debating on whether to go in or not. He knew he should just go home. He was so happy with Shownu. He loves Shownu, but Shownu didn't make him feel butterflies in his stomach like this.

"Just this once." Kihyun muttered to himself as he got out of his car. He walked into the restaurant and looked around. The lighting inside was dim. The smell of alcohol lingered in his nose. He used to love to frequent places like this when he was younger, but had grown out of that phase of his life. He looked at the tables, wondering if he had actually arrived first.

"Just one, sir?" A high voice asked from beside him. Kihyun jumped, almost letting out a squeak of fright. The hostess had caught him off guard. He had expected someone else.

"No, I'm meeting someone here. Has he arrived yet?" Kihyun responded in a quieter voice than normal.

"No, but if you'd like, I can seat you and as soon as your friend arrives, I'll point him in your direction. Can I have your name?" The hostess gave him an accommodating smile.

"I'm...um...my name's Kihyun. That would be great. Thank you." Kihyun followed the hostess to a table upstairs, away from the bar, by a window.

"Your waitress will be with you shortly." She assured him. He was already distracted looking out the window. He didn't expect to be the first to arrive. He restarted the nervous drumming of his fingers on the table as he got lost in his thoughts. He couldn't believe he was sitting here. This whole situation was crazy. The feeling of disgust inside of him only growing.

"Can I start you with something to drink?" Kihyun jumped for the second time that night as the waiter appeared at the table.

"Yes, could I just have a Pepsi? I'm...um...waiting for someone so until he arrives just the drink. Thank you." The waiter nodded in acknowledgement as he left to grab the drink. Kihyun was rethinking his decision to go through with this. It was such a mess he had gotten himself into. There was so much that could go wrong. He kept thinking about if someone he knew recognized him. 'This is stupid' kept going around in his head until...

"Kiki?" That low, slightly husky voice could make all his insides turn to mush. The sweet nickname hitting his heart in a way that made it beat so fast.

"Min-min?" Kihyun responded with a small squeak and the matching sweet nickname. His eyes meeting the soft, playful, dark brown ones he hadn't realized he had missed so much. The two boys looked each other over, speechless for a moment.

"God, I didn't think it was possible, but you got even more handsome." Kihyun blushed at those words.

"I could say the same about you, Minhyuk. You're still so cute. The blonde suits you." Kihyun stood up to give the taller man a hug.

"Your hair is cute too." Minhyuk said as he ruffled the dark brown locks. Kihyun's entire body reacted to the simple gesture by heating up and craving for more contact.

"Its been such a long time." Kihyun sat down with Minhyuk taking the seat opposite him.

"4 years almost." Minhyuk noted, still devouring the brunette across from him with his eyes. "God! It's so good to see you!"

"I missed you." Kihyun confessed softly. Minhyuk's hands snaked over the table, softly meeting the other boys.

"I missed you too. Last time I saw you-"

"Was the day we broke up. Our last fight." Kihyun finished harshly. Minhyuk looked shocked and lost for a moment. He had almost forgotten how honest and blunt Kihyun could be. Thankfully, at that moment the waiter came over to the table. Minhyuk let go of one of Kihyun's hands, still softly stroking the back of the other one with his thumb. The two of them ordered small appetizers and handed the waiter the menus.

"I'm honestly surprised you showed up." Minhyuk started, staring at the hand he was holding. "I didn't think I'd get the chance to see you...to apologize to you."

"I almost didn't."

"I could tell by your drumming on the table." Minhyuk chuckled fondly. "Always been your nervous habit." He smiled sweetly as he looked back up into Kihyun's eyes. A blush spread across the brunette's face. He remembered how charming the man across from him could be. That was what had captured his heart in the first place.

"You're obsession with skinship is still going strong I see." Kihyun shot back, holding their intertwined hands up and laughing. He warmed up, feeling way less awkward about the whole situation. Minhyuk always had known how to make him feel comfortable. The butterflies in his stomach had gone away, but his heart beat so fast for the man across from him. He was still in love with Minhyuk after all this time. He knew that for a fact now.

The two men fell into a comfortable conversation. They caught up on the past 4 years away from each other and reminisced about the good times they had when they were together. The food came and was half ignored. Their drinks were refilled a couple more times. Time flew as Kihyun and Minhyuk continued talking, completely oblivious to everything but each other. Minhyuk kept softly brushing the back of Kihyun's hand with his thumb, not letting go the entire time.

Kihyun's phone vibrated against the table slightly breaking the spell of the night. He looked at the lock screen, checking to see if it was important. It was a message from Shownu. A guilty feeling started to flow out to every corner of his being. He had completely forgotten about his fiance. The amazing, wonderful man who loves him, waiting for him at home. He couldn't bring himself to look at the message. He could predict the loving, but slightly worried goodnight text. He placed his phone back down on the table screen down.

"You ok?" Minhyuk tilted his head to try to meet Kihyun's eyes again. "Not gonna respond?"

"No. It's not that important." Kihyun lied, feeling absolutely disgusting. "I'm ok. I just need to use the bathroom. I'll be back." He left his phone, wallet, and keys on the table with Minhyuk as he rushed to the bathroom. He needed to breathe and think a bit clearer.

"What are you doing?" He criticized his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He splashed cool water on his face and ran his now wet hands through his hair making it damp and exposing his forehead. Sighing deeply, he shook his head and went over to the urinal to relieve himself. This was too much for him to handle. He hung his head in shame as he zipped himself back up and walked back over to the sink to wash his hands.

Minhyuk entered the bathroom just as Kihyun had finally collected himself to leave. He walked over to Kihyun slowly. The brunette's breath hitched as his heart started beating inhumanely fast. His whole body tingled as Minhyuk finally closed the distance between them, pinning him against the counter. Their faces were so close and all Kihyun could focus on was the lips of the blonde in front of him. He wanted this so bad even though he knew it was wrong.

Minhyuk's lips met his gently at first as if it was a request. The feeling was like no other. Kihyun wanted so much more. He kissed back, pulling the blonde closer to him. In that moment, the kiss deepened and Minhyuk's tongue found it's way into Kihyun's mouth. Kihyun's hands moved under the taller boy's shirt, running over his firm stomach and up to his chest. Minhyuk let his hands roam down to Kihyun's butt, squeezing it.

"Wait!" Kihyun cried out pushing Minhyuk away from him. "This is wrong."

"Why is it wrong, angel?" Minhyuk used a finger under Kihyun's chin to gently lift his face back up.

"I'm engaged. That message I just got. It was from my fiance." Kihyun confessed as tears started to swell up in his eyes. Minhyuk moved to hold Kihyun's face in his hands, brushing the tears starting to fall away with his thumbs. Kihyun grabbed on to the wrists of the blonde as a short soothing kiss was placed on his lips.

"Please don't cry, Kiki." Minhyuk sighed sadly. "Come on. I already paid the bill. I have your things. Let's talk about this somewhere other than the bathroom." Minhyuk's playful tone and eye roll at the last statement made Kihyun let out a small chuckle followed by a small sniffle. He allowed Minhyuk to grab his hand and lead him out of the restaurant.

The whole way out Kihyun's thoughts turned to Shownu. His fiance deserved better than this. It wasn't that Kihyun didn't love him. He loves Shownu so much. They are so happy together. He always feels so loved and Shownu is sweet and kind to him. They had cheesy inside jokes. They could sit in comfortable silence and just enjoy each others company. There is a happy, loving contentment he feels with Shownu. The only thing was he didn't make Kihyun feel the butterflies and heart pounding excitement that Minhyuk always elicited.

Minhyuk had always been the love that was passionate and intense. When they were together it had always been exciting and...well...intense. They could never keep their hands off each other. He was so in love with Minhyuk that he forgave him way to easily for things that should've been unforgivable. He looked at the back of the blonde man's head. All of those feelings had come back the moment he heard that smoky voice, and saw those excited, playful eyes. They had stopped walking, but Kihyun was staring at the ground now. The two of them stood in the parking lot next to Minhyuk's car holding hands.

"What's his name?" Minhyuk prompted.

"Shownu." Kihyun smiled saying the name. "He's so good to me, Min-Min. I can't do this to him." A frown settled on his face as he finished speaking.

"Then don't." Minhyuk pulled Kihyun closer to him. "Break it off and come back to me. I've missed you so much. I regret breaking up so much. I still love you. You were and always will be my beautiful angel."

"I'm no angel. The fact that I'm even tempted to run away with you right now proves that." Kihyun shook his head trying to push the errant thoughts out.

"So, I'm the devil?" Minhyuk smirked.

"No, I am. I'm the bad guy here. For still being in love with you. For forgetting about my fiance. For-" Minhyuk cupped Kihyun's face in his hands and interrupted the rant with another passionate kiss. Kihyun exhaled through his nose roughly, giving in to the temptation for the moment. Minhyuk's soft lips were deliciously addicting. Kihyun's hands gripped on to Minhyuk's wrists to keep them from exploring elsewhere.

"Come back to me. You. Me. Us. We are inevitable. We always were." Minhyuk whispered as he broke the kiss. Kihyun's eyes fluttered open.

"No. I can't." Kihyun pulled away, putting some much needed distance between them. Fresh air finally entering his lungs and clearing up his cloudy thoughts. "Maybe it was inevitable...maybe we just wished it was."

"What do you mean?" Minhyuk asked confused. He took a step towards Kihyun to close the distance just to falter when the brunette flinched away.

"We are and always have been so toxic. Our relationship was toxic. We reminisced about all the good moments in there, but honestly the fights and breakdowns are what I remember the most. We were so in love that it blinded us to how horribly we treated each other. I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep over you. I can't-no I won't put myself though that again. Before I walked in I told myself just this once and I'm gonna stick to that."

"Kiki, I've changed. I'm different now. You deserved so much better. I'll completely admit that. I just want to be able to prove it to you. I want to be able to treat you like I should've when we were together. When I realized you were gone and weren't coming back...it broke me. Changed me. You were my everything and you were gone and I didn't know what to do." Minhyuk pleaded, tears flowing down his face ever since he started talking.

"I'm not so sure you've changed. And the reason I left was to break you. That's the toxic part. It was also cause I was finally sick of it. Of us. Of 'inevitable'. I'm going home to my fiance, Minhyuk." Kihyun turned to walk to his car. He knew it was going to hurt later, but he felt it was the right decision

"Do you love him?" The question caused Kihyun to hesitate for a moment. He felt Minhyuk's eyes on his back, impatiently waiting for the answer.

"I do. I love Shownu." Kihyun answered honestly, not even turning around. He hadn't lied. He really did love his fiance. He walked quicker to his car, praying that Minhyuk wasn't following him. He had no more strength to resist anymore.

Kihyun unlocked his car, getting in, and taking a deep shaky breath. He hit the steering wheel angrily with his hands a couple times. He couldn't believe he had let it get this far. He kissed him. He even made out with him in the bathroom like a horny teenager. He started the car and drove off, glancing one last time in the direction of where he had left Minhyuk. He knew it was wrong, but he wanted to see him one last time.

The drive home was silent and too short. He entered the apartment he shared with Shownu quietly as to not wake his fiance up. He took his shoes off at the front door. He was so happy and relieved to be home. He walked to their bedroom door and peeked in at the amazing, wonderful fiance of his. Kihyun smiled as his heart warmed up at the sight in front of him. Shownu's black hair was sticking up in places and his face was smooshed against the pillow in a way that looked so cute. His familiar snores sounded through the room. Kihyun loves this sleeping man so much.

The guilt hit in that moment. Kihyun was so disgusted with himself. He wanted to wash it all off. He wanted to be clean of Minhyuk's touch and smell. He felt the need to shower so strongly. He looked to see if there were enough clothes in the hamper to do a load as he stripped everything off. There was and he had never been this excited to see so much dirty clothes. He usually hated it and nagged at his fiance to help keep up with it.

He took the basket and dumped all the clothes into the washer, including the ones he had just been wearing. He poured in the right amount of detergent. He made a mental note to start it after he got out of the shower. He placed his phone on the counter of the bathroom. He turned the heat of the water up as high as it would go, trying to burn off all traces of the only man who could make his heart race. The phantom feeling of Minhyuk's thumbs brushing the backs of Kihyun's hands and the tears off his face refusing at first to leave. He wished Shownu could be the one to make him feel the butterflies. He wished his heart would race like that with his fiance.

Kihyun stepped out of the shower, drying himself off and putting his pajama bottoms on. He grabbed his phone and walked out to start the washer. The phone vibrated as he walked into the bedroom. That number, Minhyuk's number, appeared on the screen. He placed the phone on his nightstand and plugged it into the charger, ignoring it for now. He slipped under the covers and into his fiance's arms. This is where he belonged. Shownu stirred a bit, mumbling sleepily and pulling Kihyun closer into his chest. The strong arms around him causing him to finally relax.

Kihyun looked over at his phone on the nightstand. Against his better judgment, he picked it up and unlocked the screen staring at the two messages. The one from Shownu wondering how his errands were going, expressing worry at the late hour, explaining he was going to sleep, and finally being mushy about looking forward to waking up with Kihyun in his arms. A soft feeling spread through Kihyun's body. This is why he loves his fiance so much.

Minhyuk's desperate message: I'm glad you decided to meet up. I was being honest. I've changed. I miss you. Your angelic lips are still as enticing as ever. Please don't give up on us, cause I'm not. I'm still so in love with you.

Kihyun sighed deeply. Shownu's chest rose and fell against his back. He made his decision in the parking lot, but why did he feel like this wasn't over. It had to be. He picked his fiance. He decided to save Minhyuk's number in his phone. He told himself it would help him ignore the messages. He saved the previously forbidden number with just a puppy emoji. He locked his phone, placing back on the nightstand. He rolled over to face Shownu, tangling their legs together. Finally, Kihyun allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by the familiar sound of the man he loves snoring.