#I'm gonna change it up a bit from what I was saying i think
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every insane thing in arcane s2 act 1 in no particular order (spoilers)
CAITVI KISS (they're actually all i think about your honour)
that HUG (i SCREAMED oh my GODDDD)
bro s2 jinx lowk has a different flavour and i'm loving it
jinx and sevika dynamic is actually really funny LMFAO
when sevika's new arm started playing music and jinx was just enjoying herself (HELP she's so unserious)
viktor in his jesus era??? i KNEW i wasn't projecting the religious undertones
mel is going THROUGH IT
ambessa what's goin on
bro...the kid...she's gonna die isn't she
the jinx and vi fight scene took me out actually like bro why r the girls fighting
viktor and jayce divorced (not even that big of a jayvik shipper but i felt this one...the affection that held them together...yeah)
VI you will ALWAYS be my favourite idgaf what the fandom says or thinks about you i LOVE YOU ALWAYS
cait said "i won't change" but she already has GOD TELL THE SAPPHICS TO LEAVE ME ALONE
on that note i WILL be defending caitlyn for everything she does she has so much flavour oh my god
ekko and heimerdinger most unserious characters ever
on a more serious note tho i love ekko i'm soooo interested to see what he gets up to this season
lowk i think jinx is likely to be more favourable towards vi from here on out given how their fight ended and since vi's probably gonna enter her emo pitfighter era post-caitvi breakup and since we saw her betting on vi PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JUST MAKE UP AND HUG OR SOMETHING
caitvi breakup that no one is allowed to talk about or i'll crash out
bro the way the season started too...that was HEAVY
i lowk like the faster pace this season last season felt like a lot of buildup imo
what is this shady black rose shit
tf actually is the arcane bro
jayce and vik girlbossed a bit too close to the sun and might've woken up some ancient uncontrollable power haha
GIVE ME ACT 2 NOW I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH
#yeah so#zoe yaps#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#jinx arcane#sevika#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#ekko arcane
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Speaking as someone with a traumatic brain injury, I'm not sure that PSAs alone will never be enough. I do have an idea, and I am curious about your thoughts.
If you want effective change you have to reach out to the people either do not remember PSAs or more likely, don't read PSAs, who think they are good people but are actually terrible in ways they cannot accept and thus cannot grow from -- who chase respectability as social clout instead of making babysteps needed to get things done.
So here it is:
Your alternatives don't work for sociolinguistic reasons
Your chosen word of interest is an adjective form of a verb.
R-word can be used easily, interchangably and with little effort when someone is stressed because every form of it is grammatically correct and socially incorrect, which is what is usually craved in an insult.
Language is an ecology: A space of predator words and prey words based on which words replace each in their fashionableness.
As with any ecology, there are niches: pockets of success where a need exists and a word slips into the gap to fill it.
In Europe we didn't get your word of interest until the mid 2000's, and it was occupied by a form of the word spastic (the medical condition) shortened to the slur "spaz" (which I've been on the recieving end of many times).
Consequences create martyrs and those seeking to differentiate themselves will adopt waning or discouraged language to differentiate themselves (PSA culture got us edgelord culture).
When a word goes out of popularity is when another word which is significantly cleverer takes its place, which is more biting and more cutting.
A great example is how "the slur beginning in F ending in T" in many progressive circles is front-loaded with the expectation of one word, and then instead people say "fascist" and everybody smiles.
It is one of the ways of controlling language:
You take the second-association added to an instrinsic thing eg, the "other" meaning of gay used on xbox live) and you attach it to something else
You outsource sentiment to a different target.
You retire one word, and inject another which better aligns with your sentiment and intentionality.
You MUST do this in a way which punches up instead of down, or you risk watering down the perception of a word -- and you must likewise be able to answer the question "how is that <other word>?" on the spot with a single sentence and shut down a conversation.
Back to this context, I genuinely use
"mentally redacted",
This replaced my previous go-to
"mentally retired",
which I felt licked of ageism and made me uncomfortable.
Meaning, that something was censored or removed or deleted intentionally. I make this about thoughtless intentionality of action, not intrinsic nature of a person or their situation or whatever has happened to them.
It shifts from medicalism to mentality.
The imperfectionism of it is the scar-tissue of culture as words fall out of favour.
Maybe that's not good enough for Americans? I don't know!
Does it just read of hiding the word and playing slight of hand instead? Does it have some third other reason? There's no good answer here, I feel.
But it makes me personally feel one hell of a lot better about my slowness instead of slipping up when talking about myself and throwing a slur at the person I'm talking to.
I'd genuinely like to know your thoughts!
e:
There's a great bit in the notes by op about how swearing disrupts civility; disruption is the only way to make any protest get noticed. I will say, a slur is often just a culturally acceptable swearword, which again is miserable. I hate to say it but we do need to get meaner if we're gonna survive. We do need to invent our own words about the people who oppress us that are robust descriptors with ride recognition.
e2:
I came very close to using dysthymic as an insult to describe "I need more" greedy "more lanes bro" VC/corpo-brain types before realizing good people would be caught in the cross-fire despite the fact dysthymia is one of the major medical roots of their behavior and damn that is a hard one for me to figure out. The great thing about medicine is it gives us lots of great complex descriptors that are easy to look up. The downside is when we use medicalization as a callout or attack there is always friendly fire. An oppressor will never care about friendly fire, which means we are always stuck playing defense and its fucking bullshit and makes me so mad.
e3:
I really wish there was a way to make words which disrupted civility without... disrupting... civility... okay that's a paradox. Fine, then are there words which can disrupt anti-civility? I want those.
e4:
Found one. The crushing response. "human pet guy"
Since the r-slur is making a comeback (you know, the word that starts with R, has six letters, and ends in D), I'm gonna make a little PSA:
Yes, it's an ableist slur.
Terms like "asshat," "head-up-ass," "up their own ass," and "high on their own farts" exist. There's also words like crap, dogshit, half-assed, assclown, and chucklefuck. And on the less vulgar side, there are terms like ridiculous, nonsense, train wreck, pointless, insipid, self-absorbed, pretentious, annoying, boring, contemptible, vile, and disgusting.
Substituting words like restarted, poptarted, brain damaged, smoothbrain, etc. is still ableist, because either 1. you obviously still mean the r-word, or 2. you're still using disability as an insult.
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Hey there
Im actually gonna talk about your other series
I'm super curious for the yandere Batfam dynamic was they find our reader is a vampire, I kinda like the idea of reversing the typical vampire creepiness and instead of us, is the Batfam that really enjoy feeling the reader drinking their blood and each one figure out a way to convince reader.
For example let's say Cassandra manages to figure out which days your instincts are at the strongest so those days she always makes sure it's her turn to stay in the manor to keep guard and make sure you don't escape while the others are doing vigilante stuff
context.
oooooh vampire! reader ask!!! mild spoilers for future fic, gotham by night.
i'm honestly so excited to see where this story will go. this reader will not only have to deal with batfam issues, but also being introduced to a completely new world of vampires and deal with sire issues on top of daddy issues. she's having a great time (not)!
but tbh, i don't think reader would drink the batfam's blood. she would find the idea of feeding on her family extremely gross, and unnecessary, since there's other methods out there. it could be a last-resort thing, if she was starving and close to frenzy, but even then that would be something she would hate to do, as there is a risk of killing them accidentally.
and one of the main conflicts in this fic is yandere! platonic! batfam just not understanding (obviously, since they've never been exposed to it) the richness and intricacies of vampire culture, practices and social dynamics, leading to them to mishandle reader and her new condition as a vampire pretty badly. not only that, but batfam essentially kidnapping reader from her sire (who had also kidanpped her btw) messes up her self-discovery process as a vampire. oh, and a possible masquerade breach! disastrous.
but i can see the batfamily starving reader on purpose, to get her to drink their blood, saying it's safer for her to get used to drinking from her family so she doesn't feel tempted to attack innocent civilians. and she's yelling that that's not how any of this works, but they won't listen. yup, that's diabolical.
you see, this concept pretty much follows v*mpire t*e m*squ*rad* mechanics. and according to established lore, we have a variety of predator types: one of them being bagger, referring to vampires who prefer to consume blood through blood bags instead of live human bodies. this would be convenient for both reader and batfam, but mostly batfam since they could just arrange reader an endless supply of blood bags with ease.
we also have consensualists, who do not feed against their victim's free will (the lines of consent and free will might still be murky, lest they straight up admit they're a vampire looking for blood and won't you please spare some) and sirens, who seduce their victims! i'm not entirely sure which predator type vampire! reader will be, but i'm leaning heavily towards bagger, meaning she doesn't have a preference for biting necks. but who knows?
to be fair, it's a big adjusment for batfam. you were being weird before you got kidnapped (and embraced), and it takes a while and reader almost going into frenzy (aka vampiric reaction to situations of extreme stress, like starvation) for them to find out, holy shit, she's a fucking vampire now! that's what happened! and they can't just... let you go. the situation is complicated. the person who turned you is still out there, and you're unpredictable, and this wouldn't have happened if they just paid more attention to you! so let them keep you safe (captive) and provided for.
ALTERNATIVELY, deviating a bit from the original concept where reader is taken by her sire and then taken by the batfam straight back into captivity, we could have reader being so neglected and ignored in the family that they just don't notice she's been turned, and she gets time to go through a complete change in personality and confidence, and involve herself with the social and political webs of vampire society that wants to establish itself in gotham. it's not drastically different direction for this concept to go, because either way reader will be thrown in the world of darkness (ha), except here the kidnapping happens after she comes contact into it and in the paragraph above it happens before.
reader escapes them either way, cause she's a vampire ofc, and the batfam didn't have enough time and info to prepare and keep reader sufficiently trapped. they'll keep an eye on her, though.
either way, there's room for yandere madness, dark content, neglectful batfamily drama, sociopolitical vampire drama, vampire! reader being cunty, and all that in both ideas, which aren't that different, really.. i'm not sure! sorry for rambling. it's still a work in progress but i'm very excited for it.
#i've been waiting for someone to ask about vampire! reader#thank you for the ask!!!#asks.#yandere batfam#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batman#platonic yandere#platonic yandere x reader#yandere platonic batfam#yandere platonic batfamily#dark batfamily
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Redesign concepts of Webmaster and Feathers
After a year
WEBMASTER
My biggest problem with the Webmaster design is how cluttered it seems; there's just a lot going on here. So I tried to calm it down a bit; I took away one pair of legs to make him less cluttered but keep (more or less) original body lenght. And I know that in his episode Jun says “if something has eight legs, she doesn't like it,” refering to spiders, but I think eight limbs works too.
I also played around a bit with his colors and markings. As well as body structure and proportions, noting this dragon's show-off skill - spinning webs.
When he puffs up his “cheeks” just before he spits, you can hear a sticky, mushy sound - you know that something is going on inside. The muscles are moving and pushing something with a sticky, gluey consistency. I would like it to be somewhat repulsive.
When he spits silk in attack it does not come out as big ball of burning web. It's more like net in "V" shape, in form of many separate threads of silk shooted at the same time. Similar to actual spiders, but on the bigger scale. His webs also don't burn; I feel like it's an overkill.
I changed the arrangement of his forelegs slightly. I know it's not quite in line with the style of HTTYD (see Speed Spingers' front limbs) but in his case I think arranging his hands in a similar way to therizinosaurus gives him a more menacing look.
Deadly Spinners are dragons that give a very unpleasant first impression. They are not the most beautiful dragons around (at least not by the standard) and their behavior can be repulsive to some. The type of dragon that people are willing to pin an unfriendly, sometimes unfair patch on more easily than on other dragons - as many people do with spiders or snakes and other similiar animals.
Deadly Spinners don't live in large groups - either small groups or solo. But when they are in a group they have very close bonds and spend a lot of time socializing among themselves.
FEATHERS
She is a challenge to me, not gonna lie. She definitely is the most changed among my redesigns so far. She just seems very basic to me.
The most bothering thing to me about her are those "feathers". Because, Alex in s1ep3 calls these "feathers", as well as Olivia in s5ep2, wiki calls these "feathers-like scales", but they can move and are thick what implies they are more like Furies'/Night Light's head numbs? I absolutely can pass the crowns as feathers, but Queen's horns and holes in her meaty tail were here the last straw to not to
And yes, I made a shitty video because I'm really confused and wanted that confusion express lmao. I hope Tumblr won't take it down.
So idk, I wanted to clarify what the frick those things are and go from there. I had two main ideas - either give her actual feathers or quills similiar to those of Bewilderbeast. When drawning I wasn't sure about either idea but finally decided for the latter one. Feels more HTTYD-like I think? And very flammable feathers don't seem like the best survival choice when almost every other animal around can spit fire.
I reimagine Featherhides as way more nervous and skittish dragons. Changewings were mysterious but usually seemed calm and strategical. Featherhides' nature is more in type of "flee" than "fight" (tho they can get so smoke when needed, they are not defensless or smth). They are very easy to spook and sometimes will flee in panic from something very trival just to return seconds later when they realise there was no danger at all, or are curious of whatever scared them. They often make rapid little movements, much like birds - especially if something catches their eye and they are not sure what it is.
Featherhides also live in large flocks without a complex hierarchy. If they can - they run, if any of them can't - at least some of them also stay behind.
Once Feathers bonds with Alex she would be very protective of her little human.
When Featherhides mimic sounds they do not do weird things with their faces like in the show. It looks much more like like some birds do that. But that's just a sidenote.
#I think I did fine job with them#Maybe it's just my ego#but I feel like these designs with some quips could be something we see as background dragons in movies#httyd#dragons the nine realms#tnr#httyd tnr#fan redesign#tnr webmaster#deadly spinner#tnr feathers#Featherhide#my art#doodles#httyd alex#alex gonzalez#httyd Eugene#Eugene Wong#Jun Wong#I mean she IS here
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Initial thoughts while watching arcane s2 act 1, spoilers below
Ep 1:
Literally in disbelief that Mel ended up alive, surely thought they were going to kill her and thus spark off Ambessa's arc
Absolutely unhinged that Viktor's last wish was for Jayce to destroy the hexcore and he uses it to save his life. There will surely be no repercussions from this action
Caitlyn and Vi hugging stfuuuuuuu
I really wish we had gotten to see Caitlyn defending Vi to the Enforcers instead of just hearing about it. I think that would've been really helpful for Cait's arc as well as made their future rift more impactful :/
That chem baron attack had me on the edge of my seat !! If they actually killed Mel in that moment I would've been so mad that I wondered about her for three years then found out she was alive then saw her die.... not yet at least :|
Okay but was the chem baron lady always that fit? Like,,,,hello
Cait and Vi fighting together is *chef's kiss*
Made a joke that Ambessa was late to the party cause she was watching her own music video to hype herself up. If only :(
Caitlyn storming in and claiming herself as a decorated officer and leader of House Kiramman to get her way holyyyyyy shit girl get it
Ep 2
These little differently animated opens are so slay
Very fun to see behind the curtain of this power grab. Love Sevika saying they don't give up their own people. She has changed somehow??
Super fun watching Sevika and Jinx reminisce about being Silco's henchwomen. They say behind every strong man, lol
Viktor waking up?!?!? Hehe he's nakey. They made Jayce give him a blanket so we wouldn't know about his arcane pee pee, sad
Affection that held us together??? Yaoi
They just love throwing more and more irreparable moments at Vi and Jinx's relationship huh? Talking about the arcade and how sad Jinx was to see Vi as an Enforcer using the gas :((((
Caitlyn's rage??? Okay girl go off. Let us see your rage. I support women's wrongs
Jinx's line about taking out the only family she has left kill me
Viktor as Jesus is not what I was expecting but I'm here for it
Ep 3:
So fascinated by the Kiramman lore and The Gray
Also, just have to say that the intro is so good and I never would have expected comfortable clothes for everyone but it's giving. Whoever put Cait in a black turtle neck thank youuuu
*kinda blacked out and missed stuff in this episode cause* CAITVI KISS LETS GO HAJAFHSJSKFK
Scientist team up is delightful
Definitely thought the temple fight was gonna be ep 9, very interesting fight and dynamic, it makes me very sad :(
"You're not my sister" ahhhhhhhh
I've taken ventilation classes before and idk how Jinx made the air do that lol
Cait and Vi break up scene, hundreds dead thousands injured. It's me, I'm dead
I'm so ready to witness all of Caitlyn's wrongs
Def blacked out most of ep 3 and missed quite a bit of note taking cause so much was happening. Can't wait to go back and process it all again. Until then I'm going to keep wallowing
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn x vi#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#piltover's finest#caitvi#jayce talis#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#viktor arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#mine#sevika
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this post is a continuation of my analysis of arcane's s2 intro. go to the tag "arcane intro analysis" for the first post. this probably has lots of spoilers for s2 act 1 so beware!!!
i'm putting it all under the cut because 1) making sure no one gets too much spoilers and 2) it's probably way too long to fit.
okay, onto the viktor bit!
first we get the angle of the mask, and him reaching for it. i think it's interesting that in s1 this section is reserved for jayce and the crystal used in hextech; possibly alluding to the fact that jayce indirectly played a part in viktor's current state as of s2 ep3?
the next angle is above viktor as he brings the mask to his face. like he's resigning to his role.
the parallel to s1 where he's holding his book instead is especially painful. like, that book is what got you here. fucking ouch.
next bit is of ambessa. holding the black rose, a trail of petals behind her seat. i dont have a lot to say other than WHEN I GET YOU AMBESSA. WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU.
anyway onto caitlyn! ☺️
other than her looking like she's releasing the new iphone (whoever said that i love you) she's being put in the spotlight. she steps into the light starting with her head low, and then she brings her chin up to look out. i think it's worth mentioning how much space she takes up on the screen- it's probably just to emphasize the credits, but i think it's also symbolic of how much she's left behind to get to where she is. how much she's walked away from.
compare that to her first appearance in the intro in s1 and you see just how much she's changed. in s1 she's decked out in enforcer gear with her rifle, carved onto a wall like a symbol of hope. but she's in the shadows. in s2 she's in the spotlight and she doesn't look happy about it at all.
OKAY NOW ONTO MEL. HOLY SHIT THIS PART. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
so, first we get jayce blinded by the light, after a tiny flash of the weird hexgate thing. i dont wanna touch on that because of this part.
the black rose petal falls. ambessa crushes the rose. and she's got that little glint of orange in her eye, and i think it means a lot. there's something i'm not seeing with ambessa in the intro but i think she's playing a HUGE role in the whole thing.
now, onto mel.
here, she's standing proud at her table, the circular window behind her, like she's the most powerful person in the world. and she's definitely very powerful. but, look. in s2's intro.
mel is backed into a corner, a circular beam of light tinted orange illuminating her, with hands crawling towards her face threatening to strangle her. her power is consuming her.
the parallels. oh my god the parallels are so good. if there's anything arcane does best it's fucking parallels, whether it be in writing, animation, characters, even just the intro to the show. it's some of the greatest use of parallels i've ever seen.
because of the image limit i'm gonna end this one here and move onto the next. i'm maling a seperate tag for this specific genre of analysis, #arcane intro analysis, so look for that if you want the rest of the intro. more to come!
#arcane intro analysis#arcane#arcane s2#arcane analysis#arcane season two#arcane theories#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#viktor arcane#viktor#jayce arcane#jayce talis#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#ambessa medarda#ambessa arcane#mel medarda#mel arcane#waffles word wall#waffles analyzes things
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(Funk Branch scenario that's way too fucking long but it was way too fun to write so I couldn't stop. Prince D is a little demon on this one, but I think he deserves to be the annoying baby brother once in a while :p, hope you enjoy it even though it's basically the size of an entire minific lol)
Prince D: Yo, B! Ur boyfriend~ is at the window again!!!
16 yr. Branch: For the last time, D, he is NOT my boyfriend! Urgh, just go eat your dinner, it's gonna get cold and I ain't reheating it.
Prince D, sticking out his toungue and leaving: Bleh, whatever!
Branch, opening his bedroom window and looking down: Hey, LJ!
17 yr. old Lownote Jones, leaning seductively (as much as a 17 yrs old can) against a wall holding a giant boombox playing Trollryn Hill: Heeeeey, babygirl~
Lownote Jones: So... You, me, our special remix, the RIGHT amount of snacks, the Onyxgroove's meteor shower. What do you say, prince of funk?
Branch: Dude, I caaan't! I told you I was gonna babysit my bro tonight.
Lownote Jones: He's 12, he's grown! He can be on his own!
Branch: Oh, please! The last time I played this argument, D snuck out of the city and got lost on the funking Rock florest of all places.
Lownote Jones, putting the boombox down: Oh... Yeah, your folks probably didn't take that too well...
Branch: Not one bit! Forbid him from being on his own until he's 14 or older, sucks for him, but can't blame them tho.
Lownote Jones: But duuude, it's THE Onyxgroove's meteor shower, we can't miss that! Come on, baby!
Branch: I'm sorry, but ain't happening, loverboy.
Lownote Jones: Ain't you guys the royals? Can't your folks, you know... just get a any babysitter in the city?
Branch: LJ, name ONE troll who either ain't at the Royal Conference or going to the meteor shower. Literally nobody's available, I checked.
Lownote Jones: The twins said they was watching from their place...
Branch: Oh, so you WANT them to turn my brother into their labrat?! I already told you what happened the last time I trusted them with D. Not happening.
Lownote Jones, doing his best attempt at puppy eyes: But then, what do we do...?
Branch, giggling: You coooould always go with Groovetavius....
Lownote Jones, glaring up at him: NEVER say that to me again.
Prince D, standing in the hallway eating a plate of swaghetti: Can't you two just watch it from the TV? They're gonna stream it, you know that right?
Branch, turning around: Oh...
Lownote Jones, shuffling his feet: That's... a little embarressing, actually.
Branch: So, I guess, change of plans...?
Lownote Jones: If your bro don't mind!
Prince D, walking up to the window and shouting down at LJ: If you guys don't make out on the couch, I got nooo complains!
Lownote Jones, smilling awkwardly: ... Can we renegotiate?
Prince D, looking down at LJ and back up at Branch: Repeat that again about him not being your boyfriend...
Branch, blushing and throwing a pillow at Darnell: SHUT UP, GET OUT OF MY ROOM! AND I TOLD YOU NOT EAT STANDING!!!
Prince D: *Running away laughing like madman*
Branch, mumbling: How did JD survive four of this...-
Lownote Jones: Sooo, that's an yes on us watching on your TV?
Branch: Oh! Yeah, pretty much... And besides, if he complains too much, I can always threaten to tell ma about the time he used her bonnet to wipe out her bathroom sink after he spilled her glam trying to dress up his Prince doll.
Lownote Jones, laughing: Damn, baby, you're evil!
Branch, blushing harder: Just a little, hehe~
Not friends, not dating but some secret third thing
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Wright felt exhausted when he came home from training. He already showered at the gym, but he felt like he needed to take another one. He unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped in, but the air was thick with something. He stands still and sniffed the air then froze: blood.
“Mason?” He called as he closed the door. “Starlight? You home?”
"Yeah, I'm home!" Mason calls from the bathroom. "I'll be out in just a minute, Sunshine."
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💫💥today💥💫 i start learning blender >:| !!
#just me hi#^ determination face lmfsh#it looks like this sometimes too >:<#or this :3 or this >:333 or this :( hbfvhs#ANyway.. yea :> i wanna learn to animate w/ it#synfig almost killed me the other day in a duel to the death (i won but the costtttttt hghfj) so of course i'm going to. the killatron 3000#specifically the 2d animation anyway cuz that's my favorite kind..#3d is really neat and really cool and i love how it can be stylized but i like. pictures hbhfvsh#and somewhere i came to conclusion it'd be easier to learn so Lmao let's see how long that lasts 💥🦾#i've tried using clip's animation feature too but you know what i can't say i like how it's set up lol </3#//i've got a gooood handful of ideas for different projects rn so i'm trying to do everything as fast as i can like usual so i don't#forget them or something hbfsh#i've got ideas for pi.e and a couple i think could be cool for bl.s and definitely some stuff for $1.75 so i've gotta just spin them really#fast until i can get to them lolll#and i also want to write which i consider to be a separate thing from the rest of this#forgot i had a google doc for my pi.e stuff so i wanna work on that a bit....#and also $1.75 i wanna blend them..........#blending my pocket change lmfsh#//anywho i gotta get something to eat rn#eggs were made this morning.. can't have those lol.. maybe i'll have straight sour cream with chihuahua cheese on the side... gourmet.....#//but until that i've got my other things and stuffs i needa do#so yea i'm gonna skittle off and do those hfsh :)#tooodles ~+~+~ !
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like hearing an autistic person talking abt realizing like "oh so friendships for some ppl don't involve always having to maintain a performance" and going damn right yeah and now "oh so friendships for some ppl involve their getting to expect that the other ppl will be interested in them and provide support" like huh go figure. more surprising like oh right i guess i always felt like interactions require maintaining a performance that can only go wrong (generally true; like there's no "well you're ruining things by keeping ppl from being the Real You so just Be Yourself" like a] masking isn't Real or done by Yourself or b] like if you unmask people like you now & ableism is over, b/c it was your fault for reacting to it in the first place) & thus also that i should be interested & provide support but not expect that in turn / the sense as well that you are/can only come up short and have things to make up for anyways while lucky whoever's even providing the time of day
then it's always an Exercise to go "oh right well beyond going [my god autistic character] the whole time, what Things re: winston billions was i still not quite seeing as as unusual / Not Good as they are. even for billions" like sure noticing he's holding on to the hopes of some kind of positive / actual relationship w/rian for like year 950 & this manifesting with the Determined Friendliness but zooming in like oh i guess that adamant amicability sure involves winston suppressing a negative reaction to negative treatment and yet still hoping for an improvement, which like, was always Possible but a) hinged on rian simply choosing to change how she regards/treats him (or someone intervening to change the situation) & b) apparently is not going to happen. thinking like yeah that's very Friendly of him. and knowing like man winston's sure still trying to keep this friendliness offer open for like two years. but also now more specifically going like Yeah and pretty fucked then that his baseline expectations don't include that Mutual Interest & Support (though someone being abusive is definitely interested just not in any good ways. and certainly not (actually) supportive)
#and then in immediate retrospect it's like I Mean I Knew It & even now to be saying it feels like i've effectively already said it#just more precise/specific Language available. & where even if it's like [restating this one idea] that's gonna say smthing new / a bit dif#winston billions#from the [immediately going HM HUH first time seeing his clips but taking months to be like He's Autistic(tm) Btw IMO] to now struggling to#say another Ay Word in discussing [he has a devoted workplace bully] as Abuse(tm) when plenty of what's abusive is considered ''normal'' or#correct or even Ideal while defining Abuse as xtreme outliers due to evil intentions & extraordinary situations (that you should avoid)#it's power structures & efforts to control & use/refuse people as things....plenty of ppl who can feel they're just acting Normal & Natural#while other ppl in entire groups Do have to perform which can only go wrong & be hurt / get that everyday trauma from their Normalcy.#those allistic social skills huh (again tldr invoking this concept just Is ableism....)#after a casual twenty plus years w/the gradual convergence of [figuring out i'm autistic] & [not blaming myself for being mistreated b/c#i'm autistic] does put a damper on expectations re: all interactions but it's like the way someone put it the other day#who hasn't said anything abt being autistic but that they don't think anyone's guaranteed any kinds of relationships/companionship incl#friendships (which i agree with; & it's not at all uncommon for ppl to be hard up for those out here. despite ppl treating socializing like#a meritocracy like hmm anyone doesn't have friends? sounds like that's on you not getting good / deserving that) & so he consciously#navigates how to like be genuinely satisfied w/a life that's just got him in it while being open to other ppl. thinking of how i've heard#abt Just That re: autistic ppl (but framed specifically re: dating; like might want a romantic relationship but ofc no one's guaranteed one#of those either (even if this too is definitely treated like in fact you Are guaranteed one & it is Again a meritocracy) And ofc there's#more barriers/hurdles for autistic ppl) & just going like yeah i've sure been always navigating that too while being open to ppl sure but#not feeling like i need that to change & sure asf not focusing on Putting Myself Out There lmao. i put myself out there by existing & by#saying things & by trying not to try to preemptively appease/appeal to anyone. seeing another quote today abt how they're nonverbal & this#results in being regarded as hostile like eugh been there enough; classic [putting myself out there] dramedy of terrors from back in the#day as a teen living on college figuratively sprinting around trying to figure it out; both the Autistacity & Abuse lol. & racking up more#of the latter for the former while i'm at it....nowadays like. certainly recent successes in [spontaneous alignments of being friends] had#to start w/like weeks into months of i'm not expecting someone else to have interest & in fact Am expecting; if nothing else; them to#realize w/e interest motivates them to talk w/me to be mistaken or w/e. as i'm struggling not to mask / beating back efforts to actively#appeal to anyone. being duly surprised when after months they still feel like talking to me. & even then just kind of entering another#phase of ''well but still'' lol like when interactions have largely felt like Buying Time at best#def on the same page as that guy like even [have friends] is not a Need. when i could go ''time to recharge socially'' & make it happen#what i like to do is go be in public '''''by myself'''' around ppl. truly the good shit. doing that kind of shit w/ppl has = nth wheeling.#now insert a short essay spinning off all this abt an approach to Language parallel to [concepts re Socializing] as tag thirty
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so me and my friend are onto season 4 of X-files now and we got to the csm-centric episode, right. and when he put the sniper rifle up from the window at the start I was like "whoa there. jfk assassination much?"-- and then the flashback starts and wouldn't you fucking know it, csm was the one who killed jfk??
this made me joke about how "what is he, the dark version of forrest gump or something? lmao" (ie. being present at a bunch of historical happenings), and then it seems like I was right because after that, he killed martin luther king too... aND TH E N towards the end, they make a fuckin forrest gump reference???
guys I think I'm finally becoming psychic
#x-files#anyway good season so far#'the field where I died' was another good one#this ep was fun too ngl cause I'm afraid I love to hate this guy#I love how it shows how /weak/ csm actually is#seems like he just gets swept up in shit all 'okay I guess I'm doing this now (hashtag powertrip)'#dude has all the agency over a bunch of others but he has no agency over himself#he couldn't even resist the peer pressure to start smoking. bruh#and he couldn't even follow through with it when he tried to /stop/ smoking either#and then when he thought he was gonna get a big break as an author and was like 'fuck yeah I'll resign from the evil job now'#..but then the editors changed the ending when publishing it so he was like 'nvm. fuck everything. violent path it is then'#that whole thing reminded me so much of john in Saw X too when he thought he'd been cured-#-so he threw away the trap-sketches he was making. guy was gonna straight up quit being jigsaw bc he thought he would get to live after all#wait a sec.... john has cancer and is a villain... csm is called 'cancerman' and is also a villain........ [connecting dots in my mind rn]#but yeah um-- back to what I was saying- this ep somehow made csm a bit less infuriating for me?#cause now we got to see that actually he doesn't have everything under control. in fact it's like he barely has a will of his own#bro has zero conviction. barely any willpower. no life. if he fails at something once- that's it. he'll quit trying forever#he's literally a loser. we love to see it#(also wtf I didn't think deep throat would be the one who argued FOR killing that alien while csm was the one who questioned it?)#(but deep throat SAID to mulder later that he regretted the things he'd done an d he helped the good guys in the end so....)#(deep throat had his redemption arc. love that guy....except for when he killed the alien. that wasn't cool)
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i have literally nowhere else to put this i apologise for the spam. the absolute best thing to come out of s3 trent is without a doubt the fucking earnestness... like in s1-2 he always came across as a very self-assured kind of guy, who knew how he came off (ie: intimidating) and enjoyed it. but seeing that paired with him being silly + completely relaxing in certain company??? pulling ridiculous faces at vodka + scrunching up his nose when he smiles @ colin + making the most ABSURD 'i really wanna say something right now but i feel like im interrupting' noises ive ever heard in my fucking LIFE??? its like. he is cool as shit and he is self assured AND he can make dumb fucking sherlock holmes jokes and dance ridiculously. its like!!!! he's lame but he's also not bc he's exactly as confident in being lame as he is being cool. do u see the vision. he has killed the part of him that cringes!!!! its just.. that unshakeable self confidence that u see in his fucking swaggers into frame includes all of himself + his different moods and eccentricities and that's just so based to me idk. unironically live ur best life wear the loudest combination of prints and patterns and primary colours uve ever seen in ur life while espousing the virtues of extended museum hours!!! contain multitudes! get silly with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ted lasso spoilers#combined with james lance's hc abt trent's past its just. like!!#the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down'#-> 'i know my reputation so im going to lean into that + be ruthless + intimidating' ->#'actually fuck this? fuck this! im just gonna be me and if anyone has a problem w then L To Them I'm Actually Living'#also this is just my hcs at this point but like. i do think ted helped a lot w the latter part of this process in so much as. ted embodied#someone who was Visibly weak + vulnerable and had no armour/no sense of self preservation#(the opposite of trent's persona) and made no effort to change anything abt himself to prevent attack. obviously ted has a lot of social +#class advantages that make that less risky for him than it would be for others but like. u get the drift#and i THINK. seeing how without that armour/facade ted was able to be rlly direct + earnest w connecting w ppl#like asking an interviewer 'what do u love?' and rlly genuinely wanting to know the answer#and bc TRENT was specifically in the position of 'i could fucking destroy u rn and u wouldn't put up a fight'#that kind of. shifted his perspective a bit? like. damn what would that say abt me if i wrote a hit piece on this guy rn#i disagree VERY strongly w the idea that trent's more positive character development moments happened ONLY bc of ted (i don't think that's#true for anyone in the show tbh) BUT i think ted's presence at a pivotal point in his life was what helped him confront the fact that#at this stage in his life all his intellectual armour was doing was making him into someone Mean rather than just incisive#like. 'is this a fucking joke' is not cutting journalism. u get me??#and arguably that's a fine and even safe choice to make when ur younger and have no support/reputation backing u up#but after decades? its like man wtf are we doign here if were literally just living preventatively#smth smth i hope i am not just a tumblr blog to u but a blog who is inventing the brain chemistry of a sitcom side character#w each new episode they watch. trent crimm is my best friend irl i know he would have scorching hot takes abt each new season of survivor#and would earnestly heckle the jury and final 3 alike
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YOUR BSD NEW EP SPOILERS WARNING GOES HERE!!
you fools. fyodor couldn't die that easily. he's still fine you just gotta BELIEVE-
#ooc#bsd spoilers //#ALSO SIGMAAAAAAAAA PLEASE BE OKAY ;~;#god i need to process everything that just happened. i'm losing my mind.#whether or not i think the ep was good or bad all depends on the future direction of the manga/what happens next imo; but i will say that#i definitely had a good time!!#(except for when fyodor ''died'' but like. he's fine. shhhhhhhhh)#there's still too much to learn about him and his build up with sigma wouldn't be for nothing#anyway that cliffhanger though?? wtf??????#was that fukuchi from the future. are we getting future DoA time travel. i have no clue i'm spitballing here#i will admit everything working out perfectly for dazai was a bit like. awfully convenient. but i'm used to it this is bsd here lol#and it works for me because of what dazai said about him trusting people and fyodor not... like we knew that's why fyodor was gonna lose bu#thematically it's just. really neat. but i might change my mind later#tl;dr i do not feel like the ep was Bad or Good i think there's no way to know yet until we see what asagiri's cooking#but what a crazy experience. nice.#(now give back fyodor ;~;)
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Like here's the thing, I'm never gonna tell you how to vote
Two reasons, one is it's not really my business other than maybe some general advice (like I think voting for cruel people is a bad idea), but two and kinda more importantly is you aren't gonna listen unless you already agree and I'll probably just piss you off and if anything vote to spite me
Nah, better to leave you to make your own choices
But you'll forgive me for continuing to try to nudge people to vote. In part, it's cause I see people pushing not voting and it's like... to me that feels like an attempt to get people to drop out so they can have a bigger sway, it doesn't feel good faith
But also it's just like... shit's fucking bad everywhere right now, and I really don't have a whole lotta faith in voting but we might as well exhaust the options we have just in case
And like... when I say I don't have a lot of faith, if you pull back a bit what I really mean is I don't have faith in countries as a whole to do stuff like voting in primaries and not just going for whoever they think'll win... like... there's no downside to voting for who you like in a primary, unless there's another dark horse candidate you think has a better chance of unseating whatever asshole you don't want... but like never bother voting for the person that's probably gonna win unless you actually want them
So that's why I say I specifically have little faith in primaries even more than other elections
Anyway though... you might as well get to vote on amendments and shit, and if you're doing that you might as well pick whoever makes you want to blow your brains out the least (dear god they're coming up and even gone in some place but vote in the primaries to maybe get at least one good candidate on some ballot somewhere)
But yeah, not gonna ever tell you how to vote other than broadstrokes, but I will just keep saying I think it's good to vote
I also very much will keep suggesting you do mail in voting if you can, and that one's legit me just looking out for you, cause going places and standing in line sucks a lot more than checking the mail, filling something out at home, and dropping it off
#as always; system's fucking broken and whatever you're trying to do to fix it probably helps more than voting#but like... why not also vote?#and if you get a mail in ballot you don't even have to waste your day#so forgive me if I keep bring it up but... you know; pisses me off the people saying not to vote#can't help but feel like they have an agenda and their agenda isn't great for any of us#(they here being broadstrokes; certainly there's disenfranchised individuals expressing skepticism)#(but I think there's a large amount of purposeful political agitation trying to pretend that's what it is and trying to sow that)#and you know... I just want something to get a little bit better sometimes#and I'm still a schmuck and I'm slow so I'm not at the point where I'm trying to work in my community yet#and there's also only 100ish people here; and even if I invite outsiders to learn shit like carving from me#I only touch so many people's lives#where as... we need massive systemic change of shit like getting the lead pipes replaced so we don't have more Flint's#so like... maybe if enough of us in different places vote for people who are pro replacing lead pipes; maybe stuff happens; you know?#so forgive me if I keep encouraging it#not gonna be a dick if you don't or can't; like for one thing part of why I keep pushing mail in voting#is I know that I wouldn't vote if I didn't have that#(couldn't at this point; 50 fucking miles; but even when I could... it's a lot of energy)#I'm trying to help you make it as easy on yourself as possible#also... now this is an ask of me; but I will do it if you really need it#if you need help figuring out how to register to vote; I will do what I can to help; which will be searching online#helping you find numbers and stuff and who to talk to; but I will do what I can if you ask#I'm sure it gets annoy that I keep beating on this but... forgive me; at least I don't get sanctimonious with it; like is that fair to say?#I'm just asking cause there's a lot of shit I'm not happy with; and I'm not saying it'll fix it#but it's something to do and... and like in the US specifically just look at our morons in congress#can't do a god damn thing#and johnson won't even do his fucking job and put any bills to the floor unless he knows they DOA and he likes them#selfish asshole who can't do his damn job#total fucking nobody with no experience#didn't like McCarthy; didn't respect him; but at least he did his job as speaker#put shit to the floor for an up or down vote; that's all you gotta do
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Everything changed when that pregnancy test read positive.
The day you fumbled into his office, bearing what you thought to be bad news, John's excited face threw you for a loop.
Wasn't he supposed to be upset? Tell you that he didn't want to have a kid with someone he didn't fully care about? Why was he crying? Why did he embrace you so tenderly?
"I'll be there for both of you, Dovie," Price reassures in the nook of your neck, arms caging you against his chest.
Take care of both of you.
Both?
"M-Mr. Price, with all due respect—"
Price cuts off your protests. He leads you out of his office. His large hand grips your waist more possessively. "Go rest your feet up in the lounge; I'll take care of everything." His lips press to the crown of your head, ushering you away gently at the reception entrance.
You were supposed to have one fun night, not to be locked in for the rest of your lives.
Your days of working at a desk were replaced with John's house. It was far from the bustling base you had grown used to. The space was warm and homey. Bits of memorabilia were scattered about. Medals adorned the walls, and old photos sat on the shelves.
John said you only have one job now: making yourself at home.
There was so much space that you didn't know where to start or even how to start! It's not like there was a plan for having your boss's child! So much was happening so fast it left you overwhelmed, sitting on his couch with nervous hands. "Mr. Price, I'm really not sure about all this; I mean... what we did was a big mistake, right?"
From upstairs, you hear John laugh. He's been up there all morning, fixing the nursery for your child. He wanted to create a special room for them, saying that his kid deserves nothing but the best. Heavy footsteps announce his presence as he closes the distance between you. Calloused fingers grip your chin, forcing you to look into his ocean eyes. "You don't want this?"
His touch has you melting, words dying on your lips as you get lost in those eyes. God, why did he look at you that way? Churning like laundry, your gut writhes. A violent spin cycle grips your innards, knotting and wrenching them mercilessly. "I never—I never said that; I just think we're taking things too fast, don't you?" The half-hearted mumble escapes your lips, unconvincing even to yourself.
John's expression shifts; his eyebrow raises in slight scrutiny. "If you believed that, you wouldn't be here."
He's right.
"I do-"
He cuts in swiftly, voice firm. "You don't."
John's grasp tightens on your chin. He leans in, eyes intense. Your heart races. His lips brush yours. The kiss—chaste yet electric. A moment suspended in time. Emotions flood through you both, unspoken but palpable. "You have me. Whatever you want is yours, all you have to do is say the word."
John waits, poised for your word. His eyes betray a craving—silent, deep, and raw.
He belongs to you. He's all yours.
Your lips purse in a line, lip caught between your teeth.
Anything you want?
"I don't like the color of the nursey..."
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
P1
❥ I wasn't originally gonna do a part 2 but... I really like this one, next fic will be longer, possibly fluff and smut maybe who knows ❥
#captain price x reader#captain price#captain john price#john price#call of duty#cod x reader#sunshine sunni
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Toji who got really drunk after a misunderstanding you left him to ponder upon one morning when you left for work. You missed a part of your routinely goodbye to him and at first it didn't bother him. He understood that you were running late, but once he started chugging the cold drinks and he sat with the sentiment, he realized it did strike him.
He hated the entire process of getting drunk, hated that drinking was unbearable unless it was chased with sweet kisses from you, but there he was, downing bottle after bottle. He was starting to feel liquid full but even in this intoxicated state he didn't want to put down the bottles. At some point he starting feeling uncomfortable being by himself and didn't want to feel that way anymore, so he called and texted you. Multiple times. You finally picked up after the eighth call.
-Hi, baby! Sorry, I missed your calls. I just left work and i'm heading home.-
-Baby? Who are you calling baby?- He scoffs, a roll of his eyes following.
-You... Toji. It's you. Who else would I be calling baby?-
-Honestly, I...- He laughs, the sound not coming off as one of joy with the next words he speaks. -I didn't think you even loved me enough to give me stupid pet names. I feel very unloved by you and... mhm, just want you to know that.-
Now, that's just entirely untrue and it hurts to hear. You prove your love for him every day. What is this sudden false claim against you?
-Toji, love, what are you saying? I'm coming home, already. Maybe we should talk in person. This is hard to discuss over the phone.-
-Uh-huh, you do that.- He sighs, heavily, his eyes lidding with sluggishness. -Can't win a verbal argument, s-so you're gonna come over here and try to seduce me with your pretty face. I'm just gonna say no when you try to touch me. Just no.-
-I'll see you in a bit, Toji.- you say, before abruptly hanging up.
He sounded off. You knew something was up the second you saw his eight missed calls and a stack of messages just saying 'hey'.
Your keys jingled as you pulled them out of your bag to unlock the front door. The house was steady, no sign of Toji watching TV in the living room or of the shower running. You walked further in, calling his name. It was kind of eery walking through your silent house. You also knew of Toji's tendency of scaring you, so you were on guard for that as you paced around the house. You had one more room to check and it was the bedroom. You dragged your feet over to the room, knocking when you noticed the door was closed. There was no answer after two more knocks so you just opened the door.
The sound startled Toji who was lying against the headboard of the bed, almost falling asleep. The second he saw you his demeanor changed. He perked up like a dog when their owner comes home, before melting back to the stoic state he had been sitting in.
"Hey," you say, almost tentatively, as you walk towards your shared bed, sitting down on the edge. You're met with an acknowledging hum of a response. "What's wrong, baby?"
"There you go calling me baby again. Baby is for people who love each other, so stop it."
You look over the bed, spotting the evidence that led to the bite in his attitude towards you— those bottles that spill the remaining drops of their content and Toji's backwash onto the bed, making the sheets reek of alcohol.
"Well, I love you, so no, i'm not gonna stop calling you baby."
He crosses his arms over his chest, huffing like a child. "That so? It didn't seem that way this morning. I've never felt so forgotten about by you."
"I told you I was gonna be late for work, but you insisted on keeping me trapped beneath you. Bring that part to light, handsome." You can see the corners of his lips twitching. He's holding back the most wicked smirk at the short burst of memories from the morning. "Plus, I still gave you your goodbye kiss, so what are you on about?"
"You didn't say 'I love you'. That's part of goodbye with you, so you can't blame me for feeling this way." His eyes express something of hurt. Maybe it's enhanced by the drinks he had, but you can't leave him that way.
"You're loved, baby. Very much so. Me not saying it this one time doesn't diminish the actual feeling." He's been reduced to a cub over this, so as his lover, you step in to mend the feelings that were grazed.
"Can you..." he rasps, patting his thigh, signaling for you to sit. You drag yourself towards him, and plop yourself onto his lap. You can smell the alcohol on his breath as he rambles on about how you can't forget to say 'I love you' to him ever again, even if it's a blurted, rushed one that he doesn't get a chance to respond to as you rush out the door.
The look he reserves for you is entirely soft, his hands are hot against your clothed back as they feel the warm body he's missed for hours. "I still..." he pauses to sigh, tiredness imbued into the sound. "Still want you to call me baby," he starts again. "I was just bummed. Don't stop calling me baby. Don't ever do that." He's letting his hands roam all over you. Your back, your waist, your hips—everything.
"Are you gonna let me touch you or are you gonna say 'no'?" You grin, remembering his words, verbatim, just incase he tries to tell you he never said them.
"Why aren't you touching me? Why would I not want you to touch me?" He looks insulted by the question and you have half a mind to remind him of what he said to you on the phone, but the heat in his eyes dies out as quickly as it appeared. "Really need a hug, mama. Please, hug," he says, the last part muffled by your chest as he keeps his face buried into it.
You held him tight and murmured 'I love you' countless times, while he hummed in response and groaned quietly as you ran your fingers through his hair.
#toji#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x you#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x you#jjk fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jjk x y/n#jjk drabbles#jjk scenarios#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk
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