#I'm extremely nervous
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Well, today or tomorrow, I might be leasing my first apartment!
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have an appointment with my doctor today to see if i can get some muscle relaxers. i’m also going to ask her about fibromyalgia
every time i try to tell my mom or a doctor that i think my pain has a different underlying cause, they always tell me that my pain is all due to the spinal surgery i had when i was 15. but the thing is, none of the other ‘pain reduction’ surgeries i had after that have ever helped. physical therapy helps, but not a lot. not even painkillers really help anymore. i am in so much pain and so tired all the time, and everyone is just perfectly content to tell me ‘this is just how it is for you, shut up and live with it’.
well, except my physical therapist and chiropractor. they help me the best they can. but there’s only so much they can do for me.
i don’t know. i really feel like something else is wrong, but everyone keeps telling me there’s not even though they haven’t really looked. even i resigned myself to my fate and stopped looking for a long time, until i met a new friend and a new doctor that inspired me to start looking again
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want. Four to get appreciation. Because
Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured
The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal
But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff
From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them
So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)
He took care of Epona
Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her
And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance
He took care of Twilight's stuff
He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place
And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.
Also- because of his placement in this scene
I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything
And he did housekeeping!
Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn
Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in
Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn
Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn
Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious
There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future
But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way
Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things
No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?
.
Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))
#epona is so important#Lu four#linkeduniverse#linked universe#I work with horses and#Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight#but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person#and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her#means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company#he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!!#uhhhh yeah!#with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered#then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything#I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters.#he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj#I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/#so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :))#(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong)#(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important)#:)
466 notes
·
View notes
Text
"see you on the butterfly island" - part II
Part I is here: https://www.tumblr.com/keii4ii/750310860221775872/see-you-on-the-butterfly-island-a-self-insert
#lies of p#lies of p spoilers#my art#this story is extremely keiiii-shaped#and may not fit people who aren't keiiiis#I'm very nervous since folks were so kind and appreciative of the last one and this one is even MORE niche#but all I can do is keep following my heart...
224 notes
·
View notes
Text
If praying has ever worked for any of you, can you please pray that Jeremy comes back home. He ran away a few days ago and I'm heartbroken
#this whole situation is making me think of Boris too and i'm devastated#the first thing we did was ask our detestable neighbor if she saw Jeremy just to make sure she didn't do to him the same she did to Boris#Jeremy gets scared very easily and he's very shy; he hides when someone who isn't the immediate family comes to visit#and he has the weakest bladder imaginable. he pees himself when the vet -the only stranger he's forced to see- touches him#when we rescued him he was extremely malnourished. idk what they did to him before we adopted him but he's always been very nervous#I'm so worried
205 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've already spoke in length about Orym's self-sacrificial tendencies in my 'Orym is a rabbit' post, but don't think I've forgotten about Miss Horse Girl giving Iphigenia vibes over here I just have some concerns about Imogen, whether willingly or forced, becoming a vessel for Predathos (you know, the same entity that Orym tried to comprehend for a single heartbeat and began screaming uncontrollably, had to be cradled like an infant by the Wildmother while he sobbed, and now something inside of him is irreversibly broken). Like I just think that letting an eldritch monster of hunger and oblivion possess you is maybe not a great idea?
One is a rabbit pushing his head willingly into the snare, the other is an ancient Greek princess about to be sacrificed on the altar so the war may continue, and I am asking them both very nicely to Please Stop That and Not Die 🙏💕
#imogen nooooo step away from the altar!!! there is no wedding there is only death for you here!!! you are not a lamb to be slaughtered!!!#orym noooo stay away from the wire!!! the true nature of rabbits is to survive not to give themselves to death!!! you are more than prey!!!#doomed wlw mlm solidarity I suppose#I'm obviously nervous about Orym sacrificing himself but I'm also very worried about Imogen#that she'll either be persuaded or coerced into becoming the vessel#like ludinus is gonna pull some shit and hold Laudna or Lilianna hostage to make her do it#you know after all this speculation it would be kind of funny (derogatory) if someone else in bells hells dies instead#just to spite me for not paying attention to them#(and by funny I mean extremely Unfunny. if any of these bitches die I'm gonna be so mad)#also I'm nervous about Fearne too irt the vessel thing I just think imogen is more likely to be pushed into it#since she's exaltant and Fearne isn't#needless to say if Fearne dies I will be Very Extremely Pissed Off about it too#critical role#orym#orym of the air ashari#imogen#imogen temult#bells hells#critical role spoilers#critical role campaign 3#non witcher
113 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello everyone! While ignoring something I wrote all day today and I'm proud to announce that the first draft of the prologue is officially done! I'm going to send it to the beta readers, do a solid amount of edits, and then I should be able to post it!
#I'm very nervous#Not giving any official dates but stay tuned!#and thank you all for sticking around! Sorry it took so long just for this prologue#The reason I can't really say anything is because there's just a lot to go through and edits take time#but I'm confident you'll hear from me very soon and I'm extremely hopeful that this will be released this month#but no promises.
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
kia ora! i would like to suggest the coining of a term that would hopefully help a large demographic of mostly-forgotten-about māori to connect with each other and share our experiences to feel less alone, congregate around a concept regardless of country of origin and upbringing, and organise as activists.
i politely ask as many people to spread this as possible to help indigenous people organise with each other and to get the largest amount of interactions possible.
anyway, with all that being said,
i would like to coin the term "ngāti rangiātea" for māori who do not know their iwi to use.
this is based on the well known whakataukī/proverb, "i will never be lost, for i am a seed which was sown from rangiātea." i chose this whakataukī due to the spiritual significance of rangiātea as a place in māori culture, as well as to emphasise that no matter how it feels, we are not lost, we can find ourselves in each other, we can experience strength and self-realisation, and that we will exist with mana and without whakamā as rightful tangata whenua.
i've put my reasoning, personal experiences shaping my viewpoints on the matter, and various statistics under the cut to make this post reblog-friendly and i would suggest fellow māori read it regardless of whether or not they know their iwi. i also ask for the opinions of other māori, ESPECIALLY AND SPECIFICALLY other māori who do not know their iwi. in fact, i politely ask māori to share this with their whānau and people in general to share this with māori they know, especially any they know who do not know their iwi. a wide reach is what i am going for to get the largest amount of voices, critiques, and opinions on the topic and to avoid this from just becoming a very small thing that stays in an online echo-chamber.
to begin, the 2018 aotearoan census shows that, of the 775,836 people identifying as māori in aotearoa, roughly 17% are unable to identify their iwi in the census. this has gone up by 1% since 2006, showing that we are a considerably stable percentage of people. along with this, there are more than 170,000 māori living in australia and, while there are no solid statistics, there are an estimated 8,000 māori living in the UK, 3,500 in the US, 2,500 in canada, and 8,000 in other countries where there's no option for māori or any polynesians on the census.
this number adds up to 967,816 total māori and while there's no census in these countries asking for your iwi, i would go as far as to assume that there's a larger number of diaspora māori who are no longer able to identify their iwi than there are in aotearoa. of course, this is just speculation based on my lived experiences and conversations with other diaspora māori, however even assuming that it's the exact same amount globally, 17%, this is roughly 164,532 māori worldwide who do not know their iwi. nearly one in five māori do not know their iwi.
regardless of the specific statistics, the hard fact here is that there is a large percentage of māori who are unsure of their iwi for whatever reason. it's extremely easy to feel unsure of yourself, lost, disconnected, and uncomfortable speaking on issues regarding te ao māori when you're unsure of your iwi (or your hapū, whānau, waka, or anything else, but there is heavy emphasis on the iwi) and it's very easy for whakamā to take hold, especially when many māori who can recite their whakapapa aren't very polite or understanding about your situation to say the least.
and there are a lot of those people.
unfortunately, i've spoken to many māori who are of the opinion that not knowing your iwi due to colonialism, assimilation, forced disconnection, etc. means that you should not, cannot, call yourself māori. this is a disgusting viewpoint to have and in my opinion it spits on the fundamental concepts of māori culture and worldviews. thankfully this is a small yet vocal group of people, but even so, they add to the collective experience that makes it extremely difficult to navigate a world while full of whakamā and internalised racism. it can feel like there's no space for you, no term you can use, nobody you can relate to, no mana you can claim, nothing. when you cannot recite your whakapapa, it can feel like there's a part of you that's fundamentally missing.
as well as this, even when people mean well, when you are in this situation, you're usually told to just do some genealogy work, do some research, ask your family what they know. sometimes, these steps are simply not possible. other times, we've already done everything suggested over and over and over again. we're generally told "oh, that sucks, but one day you'll find out, keep looking!" in response to our lack of iwi. sure, they mean well, but i have never once been told anything along the lines of "that's okay, some things are lost to time through no fault of your own. don't beat yourself up over something your whānau had to hide to survive, what you do now to uphold your family's mana, what you do know about your whānau, and who you ultimately become is more important than what you no longer know."
and why? why is it seen as shameful to say matter-of-factly that i don't know my iwi? i'm not looking for comfort, i'm not looking to be told that, aww, there there, i'll find it eventually. i'm stating a fact. i do not need pity, i need my mana and voice to be respected.
this concept is what i want to emphasise by coining ngāti rangiātea. some things are lost to time, but we aren't. our loss of knowledge does not mean that we are unworthy of being māori, that we are unworthy of basic human respect. it does not mean that we have lost everything that our whānau knows. it is a scar, a reminder of what colonisation took from us, yes, but we cannot allow it to continue to be an open bleeding wound. we will not be lost to time and we should not bow our heads and act like we do not exist, that we're inconvenient, that we damage the "image" that māori have. in fact, we are an important aspect of māori culture and ignoring our existence does harm to everybody.
and of course we can't speak on some topics regarding te ao māori. this seems to be a topic that comes up frequently as a strawman. yes, there are some topics that would be irresponsible to speak on when we have no experience with them. this doesn't mean we can't speak on anything. having a collective identity, an "iwi" to congregate around even just politically, would help us speak on topics that we are more qualified to speak on than māori with knowledge of their iwi (yes, those topics exist, shockingly.)
we will never be lost, for we are a seed sown in rangiātea.
by identifying as ngāti rangiātea, i wish to emphasise that it's important to accept that sometimes, someone just won't be able to find every piece of information. loss of family knowledge is literally one of the primary goals of forced assimilation! we all went through it as colonised peoples, why must we continue to attach shame to those of us who were forced to obfuscate our history to keep our children alive? it's not a personal flaw, it's not a dirty secret, it's a fact of life that must not continue to be kept quiet out of shame, and the sooner we can focus on healing this subsection of our community, the stronger māori as a whole will become.
so, this is why i'd like to coin a term for māori who are unsure of their iwi. this is what i intend to achieve by giving us a name, our own "iwi" to congregate around, to identify ourselves as. instead of hanging my head and saying "i'm not sure what my iwi is, i'm sorry", instead of feeling inclined to beg like a dog to be treated with respect, i would like to look people in the eye and tell them that i am ngāti rangiātea. i would like this label to be synonymous with strength and not shame, that i refuse to let my whakamā swallow me, that i am just as worthy of calling myself māori as anyone else, that there are many others in my iwi (or lack thereof). i would like other people to have that as well and i would like those like me to feel less lost when all they've been told is "well, you'll learn your iwi eventually!" as if that's going to help someone feel better if they can't find their iwi.
and even if a person finds their iwi eventually, it's absolutely disgraceful that people are treated that they're not allowed to access many basic parts of te ao māori until they discover something they are not even 100% destined to find. i think that this view contributes to a lot of people who eventually find their iwi becoming unnecessarily arrogant towards those who truly cannot find this information, that they're just not putting enough effort in. if a person finds their iwi after identifying as ngāti rangiātea, they are fully welcome to continue to identify as this political label along with the iwi they now know they belong to as i wish for it to be a term that describes your experiences, your upbringing, and your community. you don't suddenly lose your whānau or your lived experience when you discover your whakapapa.
finally, this hopefully goes without saying, but ngāti rangiātea is not meant to function as a real existing iwi does. the term will hopefully be used as a way to identify yourself and other people and organise but i don't expect nor do i want this to be treated like a coordinated iwi. i expect and hope for this to be a decentralised way of identifying and experiencing community to make it easier to organise as a people. think of this the way the terms ngāti kangaru, ngāti rānara, ngāti tūmatauenga etc. are used.
-----
so, the tl;dr is that i feel like coining a name for a phenomenon that nearly one in five of all māori experience in quiet shame, to make it easier for us to congregate and find each other, speak on our experiences, organise as activists, feel less lost, and ultimately give us the ability to regain our mana as a community with shared goals and experiences. i have spoken to many māori who feel this way and my suggestion for this term is ngāti rangiātea, to show homage to the well known whakataukī, "i will never be lost, for i am a seed sown from rangiātea", to give us a community to work with, and to give us an "iwi" to list when asked instead of fumbling for words and feeling whakamā.
i would like to take the emphasis off of constantly looking to the future for what you may or may not even find with this identity. we are not broken, we are not lost, for we are seeds sown in ngāti rangiātea.
tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā tatou katoa, and if you got this far, thank you for reading.
#maori#māori#pasifika#indigenous#indigenous issues#polynesia#aotearoa#aotearoa new zealand#new zealand#tangata whenua#new zealand politics#politics#i was considering calling it smth along the lines of ngāti whāngai to represent that we would be whānau from different paths and family#but ngāti rangiātea felt more succinct and meaningful. particularly with how it's very easy to feel lost when you're unsure of your iwi#please boost this even if you're not māori as i'd like as many people to see as possible <3#anyway i'm quite nervous and i hope this doesn't come across like i'm trying to be any kind of authority haha#i just feel like this is an extremely important topic that affects many people but is rarely spoken about for various reasons#ngāti rangiātea
395 notes
·
View notes
Text
basic dm needs
#dnd#dungeons & dragons#dungeons and dragons#SATURDAY'S THE START OF MY CAMPAIGN#i'm insanely nervous#I made the grave mistake of *swallows heavily* creating expectations#now my players are extremely hyped#and if i don't live up to their expectations i might have to change my name and then countries
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
fellas. my friends said they ACTUALLY want to watch cats 2019 with me and i was SHOCKED because like. who would. want to do that. i am delighted. HOWEVER it will take everything in me to not pause it and clarify every five minutes about my opinions on the movie
#they do want to watch it to see how bad it is but they know i really like cats the musical so it's like. i have to make it known that while#i don't like the movie and love the musical i still like parts of the movie#i don't think they care that much. but i can't believe they want to watch cats with me and i'm extremely excited#and it will take SO MUCH in me to not ramble the entire time we're watching the movie about everything going on#ouh. autism moment#i know they're probably just going to make fun of it and laugh which i get but also i'm just very excited...i like the movie in some ways#so i just hope!! they enjoy it!!#i've never shared anything about myself and my interests with my friends like this so sorry if i sound silly about how excited i am#im excited and nervous because i know they'll hate it and make fun of it the entire time which i get since the movie is pretty terrible#but also i am very passionate about cats and i do unironically enjoy watching the movie for how silly it is#ooooh. anxiety#this feels silly. am i being silly right now
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.
When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?
Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?
I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.
I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.
An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.
So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.
Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡
#bungou stray dogs#seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want#but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this#either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it#if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol#maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk#also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing#like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost#not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise#i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with#and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story#I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen#BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga#like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible#so I at least am still perfectly happy lol#(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already#please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda#Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
335 notes
·
View notes
Note
Disabled people, are you able to go outside on your own?
Yes, I don't struggle with it whatsoever
Yes, but only in specific weather conditions (different from what most non-disabled people can deal with)
Yes, but only for a very short time
Yes, but only a very short distance from home (backyard, across the street, same neighborhood)
Yes, but only if another set of conditions is met (explain)
I am able to leave home but I need someone to help me get around outside
I am able to get around outside but I need help leaving the house
No, I need to be with someone at all times
No, I cannot leave home whatsoever
Nuance / Other
Not disabled / See results
Feel free to rephrase these a bit, I'm not great with words
#i used to be extremely agoraphobic and couldn't go anywhere unless someone was with me#but i had to learn to get over it because i couldn't survive that way#i still get nervous going new places alone but i've mostly got it under control now#my physical disabilities only limit my movement like one or two days a month so i'm not counting that#but on those days i usually can't even leave my room or sometimes my bed#polls#submitted#queued#disabled#disability#house
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cool Cat 🔞 — 3.5k, copia/aurora, temperature play, blowjobs, copia's eternally overheating balls — more tags on ao3
She’d made her excuses to the concerned Ghouls—some of whom knew the plan, all of whom would hear the full tale later that night—and left to fetch the last few ice cubes the building had to offer. The rest, of course, had gone down her Papa’s pants. Copia pulls his signature move. Aurora decides she can do one better.
for ghostober by @kroas-adtam — day 3: temperature play
#HEY CAN I INTEREST U IN UHHH#THE FIRST KINKTOBER FILL...... MANY DAYS LATE#i am so nervous#this isn't the first thing i've written but it is what will link my tumblr to ao3 for the first time#there's normal stuff on there. it's so cool and normal#only vanilla sex#in fact i don't even know what sex is#i have written nothing odd or extreme whatsoever and certainly no other fluids involved#shhhhhhhhh trust me#user copia all tag#user copia fic#the band ghost#papa emeritus iv#aurora ghoulette#ghostober 2024#(hello to the op of the ghostober prompts feel free to ignore this i'm just tagging for credit)
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sanji snapping at his dearest most beloved Nami-swan just because they don't know where Usopp is and he's worried sick makes my mind go to places I didn't know it could
#it's like 2 am so i'll make a more detailed post about the movie tomorrow but#sanji in this movie fucking killed me in so many ways and there's so much to unpack#like obviously i wanna talk about luffy and the usonami fight (BECAUSE THAT HURT MORE THAN ANYTHING TBH) but#but sanji is my sweetie pie so i'm gonna make it about him first#i know they are all extremely nervous and stressed and angry bc it's exactly what baron wants but you know.....#sanji saying it's luffy's fault that they're there and kind of yelling at nami to then proceed to get back usopp's hat?? i am going to die#ughh i love this movie so much so much so much i am going to obsess over this for days#one piece#black leg sanji#nami#usopp#sanuso#baron omatsuri and the secret island
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
cringe is dead or whatever so… here's a super rough comic about geo getting smooched at a new year's eve party o7 (the mall toons of course belong to @8um8le)
happy new year, go kiss a robot xoxo
#2023#stellar city#sc mall toons#sc geo#sc tele#sc hydro#sc pyro#sc ash#self insert#self ship#wish you all a lovely 2024 xoxo#making geo's clouds explode like a bomb went off lmao#i made the little icons go with their nicknames not their models entirely bc i wanted a television for tele bc i thought it'd be funny#idk why but my favorite panel is just them on the couch i think it's so cute#okay now that i've rambled… i'm like extremely nervous about posting this idk i can't shake the feeling that it's wrong somehow#like i'm indulging to close to the sun idk i'm gonna schedule this so i forget about it by the time it's up#okay i need to go make my brain shut up bye#geo.exe has stopped responding
65 notes
·
View notes