#ooooh. anxiety

[mysticalcats]

fellas. my friends said they ACTUALLY want to watch cats 2019 with me and i was SHOCKED because like. who would. want to do that. i am delighted. HOWEVER it will take everything in me to not pause it and clarify every five minutes about my opinions on the movie

[vynnyal]

This is a pretty good point in the wip to share this, methinks :]

Map part for the hole dwelling map, starring... Not my ocs! I wanted to use ocs, but I don't have any-- so I just used the characters from a fic I was reading at the time 😂

Turns out, the symbolism was so much fun to twist into the 11 seconds I had to work with, I ended up going way more complex than I meant to. If you wanna read the fic this was based on, please do!! And tell the author I said hi! :D

[naomiknight-17]

Just sent an email I'd been meaning to write for like a week and a half. It took all of two minutes. And it's been hanging over my head that whole time

I hate when my brain does that

[twodragonsinatrenchcoat]

girl it's literally interacting with people who want to interact with you. friends even. why the hell are you so anxious 🫠

[kyliafanfiction]

Padme didn’t just “lose the Will to Live” because Anakin fell.

She was witness to three years of horrible war, while she constantly and desperately tried to hold a government she loved and had dedicated her life to defending together, in the face of creeping autocracy and systems breakdown. She endured the stress of maintaining a secret relationship, hiding it from friends and family and all the people in her life.

She then not only saw the man she loved turn to fascism, but murder hundreds, thousands of people, including people she knew, and watched the Senate fucking applaud the death of liberty and the rise of the Empire - organized by a man who, whatever their political disagreements, had once been a treasured mentor and even probably a friend once.

She watched her life’s work burn, and then - and THEN her husband, the man she loved, not only turned on her, but tried to fucking choke her to death and nearly succeeded. THEN after all that, she gave birth in what appears to have been a particularly difficult birth (I can’t imagine nearly dying helped), and the compound psychological and physical stresses killed her.

It’s really not fucking hard. 

But no. It’s just ‘George Lucas is baffled by the Uterus’. Because it’s so much easier to say that than to engage your brain for five seconds.

[jorrated]

TURNS OUT ONE OF THE WITHDRAWN SIDE EFFECTS OF MY MEDICATION IS HAVING HALLUCINATIONS........

[puddingvalkyrie]

The reason I forgot to do my homework is because I had a haircut today.

Sounds ridiculous, but bear with me.

See, I haven't had my hair cut since 2022. When I was still living in the UK.

The main issue that kept me putting it off was cost. I haven't been able to work much while I've been in school. But also. You know. The Ordeal of Having To Do A Thing in the foreign language for the first time.

So my appointment was in the early afternoon and for the first half of the day, my mental state was something like this:

Me: Okay, haircut in a few hours. Hair is washed and dry, plenty of time.

Brain: What's that? We have to talk to people in Norwegian outside of school?

Me: Yeah. It's no big deal.

Brain: We have to get up on stage in front of millions, you say?

Me: It's just a hair cut.

Brain: Fate of the world you say?

Me: I SAID A HAIRCUT.

Brain: No, no, no, we can't manage that with our Norwegian.

Me: We are B1, you ridiculous fool, and even if we weren't, they'll speak English. Even if they don't, we can use a translator. We've been to the DENTIST -TWICE- with A2 Norwegian, what is your problem?!

Brain: NEW EXPERIENCE BAD!!!

So by the time the PERFECTLY NORMAL HAIRCUT during which I chatted almost entirely in Norwegian (used one phrase I absolutely didn't know, accidentally said lykkelig when I meant heldigvis, clarified both words in English, laughed about it) was over, I was totally exhausted from arguing with my stupid anxiety and just. Fell to bits a little on the couch for the rest of the day.

Did not forget about the rest of my to-do list, but ferociously ignored it, forgetting I had that one 'do it by midnight' thing on there.

[tumbleweedstillhaspanic]

lol another morning where I wake hyperventilating from intense anxiety

[vestiges-of-sleep]

If I think too much today I think I might vomit and die

[rememberthelaughtermp3]

remembering why i stopped logging in to my main

[grinchwrapsupreme]

season 8 is kind of weird so far but the basic concepts it's coming up with are really interesting like "psychiatrist who targets trauma victims and turns them into serial killers" and "Serial Killer Social Sphere" and "Vince Masuka character development"

[gentleroads]

lord give me the strength to send these long overdue emails

[unboundwanderers]

How can you tell if you're shadowbanned

[gigantomachylesbian]

Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags

[ech0light]

anxiety attack at four in the morning this is not the vibes

[citricacidprince]

Could you draw that "I trust you" scene with Mabel and Stan but with the relativity AU? (The stan twins and pine twins swap ages au)

OF COURSE, I WILL GLADLY DRAW THEM!!! 💥💥💥

I’m gonna post a long winded thesis about my thoughts on this AU, my take on the AU, and two additional arts under the cut because ooooh boy it’s a tad bit long lol. Also, please please forgive the formatting, I’m writing this all on the fly and it’s extremely disjointed, sorry- 💥

I know there’s the ‘canon’ Relativity AU designs and character dynamics, however I don’t really like them that much ngl. I feel like it mostly just ends up with ‘Mabel and Dipper get switched with Stan and Ford with no nuances once so ever’ and that BLOWS!!! There’s so much potential there and no one is playing with it!! YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN HAVE MABEL PRETENDING TO BE DIPPER, WHATS THE POINT????

Not only that but I feel like making Dipper and Mabel’s dynamic just Ford and Stan’s when they’re adults is a HUGE simplification of their characters. Like, Mabel and Dipper fight, but they don’t fight like Stan and Ford, they’re not as hard headed and stubborn. Mabel would commit some crimes yes, but I don’t believe she would get into some of the heavy shit Stan had in his past. I refuse to believe Mr. Dipper ‘Undiagnosed Anxiety Disorder’ Pines would fall for Bill’s flattery as easily as Ford did.

The Pines Twins are very different from the Mystery Twins. Mabel and Dipper didn’t grow up with a father constantly comparing the two and pinning them against each other, outright telling one kid they’ll always be a failure while the other is going to have the burden of making their family rich. They never had that tension. They wouldn’t be walking on eggshells around eachother as adults.

I know that makes the concept sound boring to some, ‘Where’s the fun in the AU if you take away the sibling fighting’. You cowards, you can still have it, young Stan and Ford are RIGHT THERE. During the second half of the show when Dipper comes back through the portal, instead of having the older set of twins, something that doesn’t male sense with their characters, have a building tension that’s going to explode soon and keep it between Stan and Ford, don’t take it away from them. If anything, I think taking away the resentment and anger growing between the two and giving it to Mabel and Dipped is a butchering of all the characters.

Sure that means some of the episodes would have to change or be completely erased, but that’s fine!!! Make up some new ones!!! Get silly with it!!!

Mabel and Dipper talk about feelings, Stan and Ford don’t. Mabel and Dipper can’t stay mad at each other, Stan and Ford will try and stay mad for decades because being angry is easier than being upset.

In my idea of this AU that fight at the end of Weirdmageddon HAS to be between Stan and Ford, and Stan HAS to still be the one getting his memories erased.

💥 Post Not-What-He-Seems Relativity AU Rambling Below 💥

Dipper is a paranoid man, fool him once you’re never going to fool him again. He would never in a million years ever work with Bill again. Ford however is an extremely lonely child, both he and his brother are desperate for any type of positive attention. I think Bill would see him as a potential protege, especially since Ford is a ‘freak’ like he is and the kid is extremely smart for his age. He’s malleable, Bill probably thinks he could shape him uo to be the perfect lackey.

Ford, being the lonely kid he is, probably does fall for the praise initially. He craves attention and Bill pushes all the right buttons and says all the right words, tries and gains his trust even if time has proven again and again that he shouldn’t be trusting the demon.

The tension between the Stan Twins would grow after Grunkle Dipper comes back because Ford is upset that Stan didn’t listen to him (even if it was for the best that he did) and that Grunkle Dipper forgave Graunty Mabel so easily because if Ford was in those shoes he wouldn’t have. It grows more and more as Ford becomes distant and Stan tries to connect with his brother to no avail. Which, of course, comes to a boiling point when Ford says he’s going to stay in Gravity Falls and learn under Grunkle Dipper. Stan is rightfully upset. He can’t go back to New Jersey by himself. It’s always just been the two of them, he needed Ford, he couldn’t handle school or their father by himself. He can’t be alone.

Unlike Mabel who just wanted one more day of summer, Stan wishes that he wouldn’t be alone, which indirectly causes Weirdmaggendon.

Stan’s prison bubble would probably be a fake New Jersey-esc town full of a bunch of little Stans running around. Town O’ Stan. A place where no Stan is left behind.

Ford says some nice words to Stan there to get him outta there but there is still this intense tension between the two.

During the Cipher Wheel Ford is the one who tackles Stan. The two fight, whining out hurtful words neither of them mean and only stop when Bill shows up and captures them. Graunty Mabel and Grunkle Dipper run off and distract Cipher in hopes that they can keep the attention on themselves long enough that their great nephews could come up with a plan to escape.

The younger twins don’t find a way out and instead, finally, have an actual talk about their feelings, one that definitely ends up in tears as the two talk about the pressure that’s put on them or how worthless they feel. After that the boys get a rush of determination to escape when Stanley has a plan. Ford immediately hates the plan but Stan insists that they do it, in his own words, ‘Let me prove I can do something right for once.’

When Bill comes back and threatens to kill either Mabel or Dipper just for the hell of it, Ford calls out that he’d like to make a deal.

He wants to work with Bill, let Bill into his mind willingly. Bill immediately jumps on that offer. Ford is a promising young kid, perfect henchmaniac potential, not to mention it would absolutely devastate Dipper is his great nephew willingly turned to Bill’s side.

He goes into Ford’s head, revealing Stanley just in time to reveal that he was trapped, panicking as he was erased with a swift left-hook along with a kid who was happy to prove he was good for something after all.

Everyone was devastated after Weirdmaggedon of course, a child had his mind completely wiped. Stanford took it the worst, he just managed to finally break down those words that others built in his head, that he was too good for Stanley or that he didn’t need a knucklehead like him dumbing down his brain, and now his brother was gone. Just like that.

We all know what happens after this, Stan gets his memory back, everyone celebrates and the Stan twins are sent home, promising each other that they’ll never let anyone try and tear them apart ever again. Dipper and Mabel stay at the shack, after all, all they could ever want is there, where else could they possibly go?

Sorry this was… extremely rambly and long, I am extremely tired and can’t think straight I have a bunch more ideas and concepts so if anyone’s desperately wants to hear them just ask I guess, sorry you read this dumb of ass essay haha 💥