#I'm also taking the time to like. process I'm going to see them for the first time in six days

[lemonlinelights]

@dialup-dragon YES HI HELLO!!!!!!!! The can has been opened I hope you like worms XD

The diva's name is The Question aka Vic Sage My Beloved. He's my favorite superhero like EVER in DC and Marvel I love him so much. I can say like SO MANY THINGS ABOUT HIM!!! Idk where to start UHHH the other person in the art is Huntress aka Helena Bertinelli she's a badass character with a lot of cool stories of her own. Cause it's ya know ✨comics✨ it depends on what you're reading/watching but they're sometimes lovers and I love them together so much.

The Question is from DC comics and he's from Hub Cap City which like a lot of cities in DC comics is corrupted and full of crime.

Vic DOES have a face! He just has a special mask that makes it look like he doesn't. The mask is weirdly very important in the start of his alter ego. He uses a gas to take the mask on and off and it also changes his hair color in the process. His skill set is martial arts and his detective skills. but later on he sort of starts to be able to communicate with cities? And also understand coincidences, comic book logic lol.

Uhh I'm trying to keep this short without going into an essay XD

For awhile his main struggle was seeing things strictly in black and white, until he's basically beaten to death by Lady Shiva which starts his entire journey into morals and learning that not everything is what it seems (I've a post that explains this a lot better hopefully I can find it) A LOT of other stuff also happens, many tragedies and character growth as is the life of a comic book superhero. Skipping all his dramatic adventures Vic eventually dies from lung cancer, and his successor is someone who he's been training-

Renee Montoya! She is AWESOME! I don't know her as well yet but she's amazing as The Question I love her. While Vic is alive their dynamic together is SO fun and Renee on her own is also neat. Again comics so the story changes a bit but shes a former cop struggling with alcoholism and her girlfriend leaving her when Vic enters her life giving her something to work for again. Renee usually has a relationship with Kate Kane (Batwoman) and I love it just wkhxenhdben💕

So yes there's two Questions, sometimes at the same time! Vic Sage has some appearances  in Justice League Unlimited that a fun watch. He and Huntress are together in it <3

They're my beloveds I love them a lot. I think it's mainly their personalities that draw me in a lot of the time. They're entertaining :-) ✨Divas✨

Uhhh also at some point when the universe got rebooted (this is usually done once the comics get too complicated even for the creators) they tried giving The Question a fresh coat of paint by making him a cursed guy who will be able to solve other people's Questions but never answer the biggest one, his own identity. Also this version doesn't actually HAVE a face he legit has no face. The version also has some superpowers? It didn't last long though and I think they've just been ignoring it. So uh yeah we ignore that one.

A whole bunch of JLU Question doodles

Shout out to these comments that changed how I saw certain scenes + Jeffrey Combs' entire performance (his voice is so goodd)

Adding another compulsive nerd to my "favourite compulsive nerd characters" collection

[rafesbuzzcutseason]

chasing city lights

chapter 9 - cute note

synopsis: you move to new york to start fresh, hoping to find comfort in the city’s atmosphere. that’s when you meet sarah cameron, where she takes you to a concert and you catch sight of the lead band member, rafe cameron. it only takes a moment for you to realize you’re captivated by him. as sarah helps you navigate your new life in the city, you start to get pulled deeper into rafe's world—the music, the fame, the chaos. the more you get to know him, the more you realise that rafe is not just the rock star he seems to be. he’s wrestling with his own demons, and the last thing he needs is someone like you getting close.

masterlist

cw: language

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

you and the girls were huddled on sarah's bed as you debriefed the night before, it still not processing with you.

"i mean we left you for 5 SECONDS and i turned around and you two were eating each other" kie laughed

"no like seriously i thought we were gonna have to push harder for project city but it seems you didn't need our help after all." cleo joined in the laughter.

"guys i don't even know like i'm still in shock." you said.

"well was it a good kiss...?" sarah questioined.

"maybe the best i've ever had," you blushed. "but i'm nervous to see him next like what happens now."

"well you have his number," kie started "and you also don't have long because we're actually about to meet them all for lunch!"

"you're fucking joking." you muttered.

"nope!" sarah chimed in. "so let's get you ready."

after a quick outfit change, you left your room to meet the boys downstairs to have a walk around LA and grab some lunch.

you nervously waited for them to appear, but they finally did, rafe leading the group.

he smirked at you as he came to say hi, pulling you into a hug to whisper in your ear "cute note."

your cheeks went red while you pushed him away, turning to jj to say hi to him too.

"good night?" he winked at you.

"shut up jj." you laughed, as john b and pope also bought you into a hug.

"seems like someone had fun." john b laughed with you, and rafe just stood back with his stupid grin on his face, but no sense of shame.

topper however gave you a little disheartened wave, and your stomach dropped slightly, knowing he was probably upset that it wasn't him.

"ready to go?" sarah interrupted much to your happiness.

"yeah let's" cleo replied, now holding hands with pope.

the group made their way down the steps of the hotel, the chatter flowing easily now that everyone was outside and on their way to the street.

you caught jj glancing between you and rafe, his eyebrow raised playfully, before he bumped your shoulder with his. “so, how was last night?” he asked with a grin.

you rolled your eyes. “you’re ridiculous.”

"no i'm serious. i want to know. it's been a long time coming." he was speaking in a hushed voice to avoid rafe's ears.

"what do you mean?" you asked.

"he's been talking about you non stop since he met you. like the dressing room chat before shows has been exhausting." he sighed.

"really? then why did it take so long for him to make a move?"

"because you're mysterious at showing how you feel. plus your sarah's friend and he's always been told to stay away."

"but he didn't stay away from me?" you said.

"i don't think he could even if he tried." and with that, jj joined the rest of the group.

rafe then fell in step next to you, his pace slower than the others as he leaned in, his voice low. “are you avoiding me?” he asked with a playful tone.

you shook your head, “now why would i do that?" you replied.

"thought you'd been freaked out by last night." he replied softly, with a hint of fear in his words.

"i would never," you reassured him. "just trying to figure it out."

"figure what out?" he smirked.

you looked at him with sarcastic eyes, shaking your head.

rafe's eyes softened, his eyes meeting yours with intensity “don’t worry,” he said, “i’m figuring it out too.”

his hand brushed against yours, just barely, but it was enough for the electric connection to spark again, making your heart race. you could feel his gaze on you, but when you looked up at him, he was already looking ahead, as if he hadn't done anything at all.

you both fell into step with the others again, the easy banter resuming, but you couldn't shake the feeling that everything had just shifted—and you weren’t sure whether to lean into it or hold back.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

a/n: happy friday guys!! was struggling on how to approach the morning after so i hope this is ok

taglist: @hoefordrewstarkey @marleymarleymarleymarley @bee-43 @cherryhoneybabe @skye-44 @drewrry @drewrry  @yesterdaysproblemm @pogueprincesa @dylsdaily @rafeysworldim19 @valyrianflower @kaiparkerwifes @judesgfirl @4urvalidation @chillgal135 @drewstarkeyslover @yesshewrites1

i will be taking people off taglist if that don't interact! just as more people want to be added and need to make it fair<3

[kawhh]

I'm aware I'm gonna lose people with this but I really do need to get the thought out of my head (I'm being delusional and this'll make it worse). It's just Jack and blood does something to me. Something magical. Also for the dark!Jack askers.

1.7k words.

Warnings!!!: if you're squeamish, please don't read this. I mean it. There's a lot of blood talk. Him covering you in it. Biting. Me going insane. Being a whore on main. Somnophilia. Jack being feral. If the idea of period sex makes you go ew, this'll make you worse. Him not caring if you don't want him marking you.

You've been worried about him since he got hit - knowing how bad some high stick injuries can be. Stressing until he was shown on the bench, barely calming down seeing all the blood still covering his face. How casual he is about it, not being phased at all, making no effort to wipe it off.

How aggressively he's playing after it, there's more aggression in him when he takes face offs. There's more push behind his skates up and down the ice. More concentration on his bloodied face.

If you're being honest, the whole thing is incredibly hot. Even though there's an underlying beat of concern. You don't like seeing him hurt.

It's late at night, so you're cuddled up on the couch in one of his shirts. Always feels like he's home with you when you're bundled up in his scent.

It's too much for him when he gets home. It's like someone's sucked all the air out of the room. His knuckles white as snow from his grip on the door frame. He doesn't dare move. Feeling like he's one step away from losing any and all sanity that he has left.

His girl.. all perfect.

His shirt on you.. how small you look in it. It's physically stunned him.

He can feel the blood on his face still. He was in too much of a rush to get home to you, he wouldn't take the time to wipe it off. He wasn't wasting time showering. Not when he knows you're all alone at home. He's not phased by it, just slowly dragging his tongue over his lip to prevent it from getting out of control.

He's no stranger to blood in his mouth. Injuries are common and he can't just stop whenever it happens.

He figures you're asleep. Who knows how long he's just been stuck there, trying to piece together the non feral part of his brain. You haven't made any noise, haven't reacted to him coming home.

He's free to just.. observe.

He's salivating over your legs. They look so pure and untouched, unmarked, oh so long looking under the shirt. Fuck.. he doesn't know what he wants first.

He could have them wrapped around his waist, have you scratching your own marks into his back as he fucks you into the wall. Wanting to see the pathetically adorable tears streak down your face until you get noise complaints.

Have you bouncing on his dick, slamming you down to force you to go at his pace, forcing you back down to meet his savage thrusts even if you try and crawl off to escape.

Wrapping them around his head, forcing them tighter against his head, wanting to suffocate against your cunt. Feeling you cry and squirm against him, trying to escape his tongue.

How pretty he'd paint you with the blood that's still leaking from his mouth. What a perfect way to make a point.. show you how much you truly belong to him. It'd stand out so vividly against your skin.. against your cute little cunt.

It's enough to take the final sanity percentage from him. He can't stay here watching you from afar now. He's gone too deep. The chances of him walking by you to shower before coming back.. non existent.

He's like a possessed animal stalking towards you, hair loose, half covering his face. His expression dark, his eyes barely visible. His pupils fully dilated.

If he doesn't get his mouth on you and in you, he thinks he might lose it. He can't even wait for you to stir. He doesn't have the restraint. Doesn't fucking want the restraint.

He's hovering over you before he can even process it, grabbing your legs as gently as he physically can in his state, making room for himself to kneel between them on the couch. Leaning over to hover over your face, staring at how innocent you look under him.

His baby must've stayed up late worrying yourself to sleep, he knows how you get.

His fingers not being able to resist digging into your shoulders, staring at the way that your body doesn't resist him. The slight bruises he leaves, painting you. The way you almost lean into his touch in your sleep, seemingly seconds away from mewling like a cat.

He can't resist pulling your shirt up. He can't get it fully off without waking you up, but he inches it towards your neck as gently as he can. Restraining you slightly as it reaches armpit height.

He's slightly startled as he hears a small sound, like a droplet. Looking down, realizing that some of the blood from his mouth is smack bang in the middle of your exposed chest now. Trailing it with his eyes as it slides down your cleavage, under your bra, leaving a skin stain as it goes.

He can't stop the gulp, processing how it feels to see him on you, in such a different way..

There's nothing more him than his blood. It's so striking against your skin. He can't explain the sudden urge he has to follow it with his tongue. To cover you in him.

He makes a fatal mistake, resting his head against your shoulder. His attempt to control himself only makes the problem worse as he lifts his head, realizing that you're now covered in his blood, your whole left shoulder looks like a murder scene.

He can't resist licking your skin. Just once. Tasting your skin combined with him. He's never felt this possessive before, never felt more sure in the fact that you're his.

Sinking his teeth gently into the skin, just enough to leave a mark. He doesn't fully know what's wrong with him. This need to just.. mark you up. To mark up every single inch of your skin. You're such a little fucking cute bunny rabbit. So adorably small against him. So weak. So fragile. So his.

He can't stop at just your shoulder. He's inching down, nipping and sucking at your skin, occasionally licking at the blood if it pools too much. Making his way down to your chest, watching the droplets drip down your tits, following the perfect curve, seeping into your bra.

He can't resist running his tongue down your cleavage. Slowly folding the cups over enough to get his hot, wet mouth around your nipple. Biting harshly, eyes flicking up to you as your squirm in your sleep. He wonders if you're dreaming about it. If you can feel his body. If you're mentally aware of how deranged he's feeling tonight.

Squirming more as he reaches your stomach. He half entertains spelling his name on your stomach but he truly doesn't have the patience. He's biting his lip more as he goes, trying to agitate it, getting frustrated that the blood's drying up. He doesn't care if it hurts, how much it stings with every single movement. He'll take care of it later. It's not important.

It does rush him slightly. He can't risk running out of it before he gets to his meal. Skipping mostly past your stomach, dragging his parted mouth down until he reaches his meal. Resting his mouth against your cute underwear. Smirking as he realizes there's adorable little teddies on them. Slowly staining them with blood as he keeps his head still, resting his mouth above your clit. The contrast of the blood and your visible innocence, he could moan.

He's just resting there, breathing you in. He can smell you. Feel the heat coming from your adorable pussy. He can't resist gently biting, mostly gripping your underwear in his teeth, letting it smack back against your clit, hearing you let out the littlest moan. He doesn't care to check if you're waking up now. It's not like he'll stop, even if you do wake up and protest. There's nothing you can do about it.

Nuzzling his nose down where your thigh meets this delicious skin, breathing you in. He can feel the dampness of your pussy smearing on his face as he drags his cheek down. Marking himself up with you.

Biting you in a harsher manner on your inner thighs, feeling how your skin melts like butter at his attack. Smearing you in the blood that's drying up faster now, licking up the arousal that's seeping from your underwear.

His girl loves this so fucking much.. as you should.

The little whimpers you let out.. he can't wait any longer. He's teased himself enough. He can feel the fucking precum soaking his shorts. Hell, it's probably even on your legs at this point. The throbbing is so hard for him to ignore, but you aren't fully claimed yet. He hasn't had his fill of your cunt.

Spinning you slightly, dragging you to the edge of the couch. Sinking to his knees in front of you.

He's ripping your underwear off with his teeth, laughing cruelly as he hears your startled gasp. You're awake now it seems. Maybe you're swearing at him. Maybe you're begging him to stop. Maybe you're moaning. He doesn't care. It's time to eat.

Swiping his tongue all the way from your cute hole to your adorable clit. There's only a faint amount of blood leaking from him now, but it's enough for him to slowly watch it mix with your arousal. Only fueling him more to eat you.

Stretching you apart with his fingers, putting weight behind it to make sure you can't move. Can't protest. Sucking every last drop from you, lapping at you like you're water in an oasis. Feeling you clench. Nipping at your clit, not wanting your body to get used to one sensation.

Thrusting his tongue into your cunt, licking against your walls, wanting to consume you from the source.

He's thrusting slowly against the couch, imagining splitting you open with his cock, mimicking the motions with his tongue. You're spasming around him, he can hear your cries getting louder.

Slowly thrusting in with his finger, adding another soon after. Stretching you open, making room for him to shove his tongue further in along with them.

Feeling your legs shake around his shoulders, restricting his breathing. Cumming in his shorts at you getting off on being claimed.

Pulling back, eyes half lidded, running his eyes over your body. Admiring all of the blood smears and marks on your body. He's never felt so in control. So satiated. So utterly dominant over you. There's no doubting that you're his.

And he hasn't even fucked you yet.

[dia-oro]

Mama dia, all I ever wish for is a imagines or head cannon of the chain with like a super motherly almost mother hen reader that just love to spoil them with affection, gift and LOTS of food to the point of them just being little round balls you know? ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ It just seem so so cute to me even tho she is probably younger that some of them which surprise them at first probably (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

well, I'm happy to serves! I am all for mothering reader because they deserve some affection and you know acts of appreciation to remind them they are worthy of love. :) But let's beginning! I hope you like it and sorry for answer late.

The chain with a mothering? A person that give them the acceptance and approval as well protect and encouraging them? What did you think there's going to happened? They will be all like that stray cat that everybody call feral but they are all hurt person that live traumatic after traumatic even and people at their surroundings are like 'but it's your duty' and look to the other side dismissing the links feelings well, they be really like stray- once upon abandoned animals, reader kindred burn them because they have already been hurt so much so this will be a process of patience and no losing hope...

Let start with one fine mess as legend with a mothering reader- snarkiness at 200% of power, he will try to discouraged you to be close, to care, he will be a bunny ready to beatbox you- seven adventure, losing his uncle, Marin... This man need affection with no second intentions but also fear it so bad, probably think he curse or something. So reader gentle hands curing his cuts and burn will burn more than any fireball, every gentle words make his eyes stink and just one day- slowly, silently his tone lost any fire in his remark, his bedroll got a little more close to reader, if they got to stay in a inn and they share bed to save rupees he unconscious will move his body in his sleep closer, he will be the first ready for a meal made by reader and when he hurt and needed someone to take him back to the camp he will just let his guard down the moment he feel reader arm over his back... The biggest treasure for him will be a sweater one of those ugly ones like Christmas that reader made for him- he didn't even dare to put some magic in it to protect it- because being made by reader is already magic for him.

Hyrule, another feral stray animal here- but more like that one of the videos that suffered from a severed wound or is handicap by accident and abandoned just to be save by someone yeah that type of feral animal- the distrustful one but in silence- reader is just too good and they have been hurt by smiling person so much- but a difference of legend he doesn't snark, growl or try to discourage you... He just got that heartbroken look in their eyes, so wounded and at the first sweet caress in their cheek and a goodnight kiss in their forehead? He crying till his sleep, every clap of hand and congratulations for his efforts will almost make him talk in bell like sounds like some fairy- almost transform so he can be close to you but don't be catch being so he can care for you as you care for him, sing to him to his sleep and he be purring, reader mothering is something he need because how little love he had ever feel even more- how little he is still care in his world, he may be Hyrule Hero but they don't deserve him for sure. A older reader may even be take as their parental figure that he never have and very much needed. A young one? The poor kid will wonder if this what LOVE is.

Warriors, in this house paranoid and distrust is his thing, even more with act of kindred- like you see the only person with self proclaimed 'acts of love' was Cia and you know how fucked up that was. But he will try to act as smooth he can, your dresser will be take with caution, hugs make him tense, he will try to analyze you and- he will be so confused, why you're so gentle? Why you sing lullaby to both legend and time at night?? Why you're making so much delicious food?? Somehow reader food is even better than wild, even a simple sandwich will be heaven for this man, a hug? He will adore then and got very whiny if there's no one or three per day- if reader is woman, well, congrats because reader is the first woman that make him feel safe, female affection that didn't give him a panic attack.

You know wind will start to call 'mom' or 'dad' reader right? All he have is his Grammy and sisters but reader just take him back to a time that he was safe and protected and didn't have to be the protector. Now reader is supply that role and just he notice it when he was attack and trapped and a instinct deep inside made him call for reader and the next he knew is that reader was fucking running over the head of Monsters, tearing them apart and just telling him he be okay. now he always taking you to see what he just think was cool from a bird to a insect that didn't exist in his era, reader will sing to him sometimes shanties with him, sometimes even sky join with his arp, mother hen reader is the reason the Grammy is no worry for him to go to multiverse adventures.

Sky, dear sky need all that mothering right now, he miss his fiance (I want to think sky and Zelda got to that far in their relationship, that hylia scheme for the demise endgame didn't break or weaker their relationship but make both stronger) so hugs from reader, singing duet even if they didn't sing very good will be all he needed, kisses on his forehead as goodnight or just indulge in love for wood carving and buy him a professional set to carving?? Have for sure his firstborn will have reader name for it all.

Twilight with a super mothering reader? Him?? The big brother material?! Yes, please light the weight of his shoulder that he put himself in the first place, he so use to be the role model in his village for the kids and honestly he a true role model to a good citizen in all ways- but wild give seven shite that and when know it, he trying, still trying to be like time the problem he forgot he young still too, give him love, hugs and pumpkin soup to twi, is all he needed from motherly reader, to be tell he did good that they are proud of them and even if one day they part ways is no his fault and they still be together in their hearts- this man need so much reassuring and reader is that he needed. Also reader sometimes act as if they can't do a labor so there's this Happy farmhand coming to help so happy to do some labor because is his comfort zone, let him do something that need his strength- the others links rarely need it.

Four, four don't need help- need help X4, motherly reader that know his story will constantly be over his shoulder seeing if he having a migraine, head and shoulder massages are a bless for this man, be platonic or no, he care for our reader dearly for this, even more when he realized that they never underestimate them for his height, giving him some copper and metal and this man is so hapoy- it's all about encouraging any interest he have, yummy food and I will tell you blue will never raise his voice in from reader, period.

Wild, sorry no sorry- reader will be his flora here, no matter the gender, they will be the only thing that make him be in control, mothering more firm but still loving. Want to ride a animal in the camp? Just harmless ones, encourage to do others things like painting his house, making clay thing and more to have his energy and focus on one thing that didn't put his life on danger- didn't always work but already seeing wild inviting the lord of the satori and not a fucking bear to the camp is better than the bear Alone and probably on fire.

Time, I miss my wife 2.0, he a adult, but also a traumatized one, he most time is the adult adult of the group even if he can be worse than legend and wind in his pranks, but when the moon got red in wild era sings and forcing him to look at reader all time while everybody is in safe zone, being reminded he important and love to- or just talking o what to give malón as present means a lot to him, help him with the cucos- sorry no sorry even if you're contemporary to him or minor didn't matter- motherly reader is in his mind a child of his, malon think to and what malon say is law to him so motherly reader will be mothered to.

Hope you like it <\3

[seventeenlovesthree]

Madoka Magica Ship Analysis - HomuMado

Based on these two polls [X] [X], I will write an analysis that'll also include how I feel about the ship (similarly to my Digimon shipping game analysis posts).

Disclaimer: I won't claim this to be a conclusive/definitive analysis of all of the ship's aspects. I have watched the original 12-episode-series and movies (including Rebellion), the Magia Record anime and I've read several manga series (the Original, The Different Story, Wraith Arc, Rebellion Story, Oriko Magica, Another Story, Mitakihara Anti-Materials). But I'm aware that I haven't seen/read all of what's out there and am also not thoroughly familiar with the games. Plus, oftentimes, ship dynamics vary depending on which series/timeline you are looking at. I'm fairly certain that thousands of words must have been written about this ship already, better and more elaborate than I probably ever could - so this is going to be my personal take on it.

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

As the main faces, characters (and ship) of the entire franchise, it's absolutely impossible to watch/read/play the series without taking note of Madoka Kaname, Homura Akemi and their dynamic. Their characters, arcs and development are irrevocably connected with one another - no pun intended (yet) - and without them, we wouldn't even have a story to talk about to begin with. But let's start at the beginning, shall we.

On one hand, we have Homura - who initially started off as a shy and timid girl, prone to sickness and ridden by insecurities. Presumably raised as an orphan at a government-funded orphanage, she struggles to find her way, fitting in at school, keeping up, making friends and socializing in general - thus she becomes an easy target for corruption (we shall keep this in mind for later) and is almost being dragged into suicidal tendencies by a Witch... If it wasn't for the pink-haired Magical Girl (and her senpai) who is going to rescue her - and Homura has no idea yet that she'll end up committing her entire life and purpose to her soon after.

Madoka initially starts off as not considering herself to be anything special - but is still determined to do good as a Magical Girl, she appears to be straight-forward yet kind, gentle and welcoming... Especially towards Homura. So - is it really surprising that Homura, timid, insecure, lonely Homura, would end up thoroughly enchanted by Madoka? The first real friend she must have had in ages? The person who smiled at her, reached out and encouraged her in her pure, innocent ways? Absolutely not, it's highly relatable, endearing... And thus, it shall be even less surprising to see Homura not wanting to lose her again. The feeling of being wanted, appreciated - of not being alone anymore.

After watching Madoka sacrificing herself, ending up killed by Walpurgisnacht in the original timeline, Homura makes her wish to become a Magical Girl herself - not just to meet Madoka again, but to be the one to rescue her this time. What appears to be a wish of determined, unexpectedly confident heroism at first will, just like every other wish, turn out to be a multi-layered mess of human complexity. An underlying desire born from affection - that will eventually turn into something deeper, desperation, obsession, whatever you may want to call it.

Homura lives through countless timelines, repeating the same month over and over again to save Madoka, discovering the fate of Magical Girls to become Witches eventually along the way, becoming more and more skilled at weaponry combat... At some point, she was already perfectly ready to become a witch alongside Madoka, as long as they're together, destroying the entire world - but is held back by Madoka's wish to prevent her from falling for Kyubey. And thus, Homura thoroughly hyperfocuses on her personal mission, so she won't lose the last bit of hope, no matter how bleak the situation may be. However, in the process, she is growing more and more distant, not only from Madoka and their fellow magical girls, but also from herself. Hardened by the experiences, she develops a cool facade and a stoic attitude, swallowing and locking away emotional attachment to anything and anyone that is not Madoka in order to reach her goal.

With every timeline resetted, more karmic energy revolves around Madoka - but with Homura's wish revolving around saving her, she also becomes increasingly more timid, reserved and insecure each time(line). While her general stance on Homura is still mainly the same - finding her, her look and name cute/pretty -, their ability to relate to one another dwindles with every reset. Homura's attempts at reaching Madoka, as desperate as they may appear, rather scare and alienate Madoka - who cannot possibly understand what she has been going through, the time she had spent, the absolute commitment...

Until Madoka eventually makes her own wish to honour all of Homura's achievements - until she wishes for witches to never have existed and, enabled by all the karmic energy, she becomes a literal Goddess in the process, the Law of Cycles to keep magical girls from despairing, creating an entirely new universe... One in which she has never existed as a human, but only as a concept. Selflessly wishing for everybody's happiness - whereas Homura wishes she didn't. While Madoka thanks her for all she had done for her sake, giving her her red hair ribbons as memory for safekeeping, Homura cannot fully accept this new reality. She does fight on at first, honouring Madoka's wish within a world that has Wraiths instead of Witches, determined to defy anyone and anything that shall threaten her legacy... But this state isn't meant to last.

The long twintail-braids shy, timid Homura used to wear alongside her glasses, mirroring Madoka's red-ribboned twintails as a symbol of innocence, are merely a memory of who Homura Akemi is going to become. For the sake of her initial wish, for the sake of devotion and love that have turned into an obsession that doesn't allow much deviation. And her will to keep living in Madoka's universe is fragile - as she has to overcome temptation in the shape of shape-shifting Wraiths, showing her her beloved Madoka once more - just for example.

And eventually, despair takes over: Trapped within a Witches barrier inside of Homura's own Soul Gem, a world has formed that technically would have granted her biggest wish - a world in which Madoka exists happily alongside her and her/their friends, fighting together, living a peaceful life... But this world is just a facade as well, meant to lure the Goddess into a trap to regain power over the old Witch System of an alternate reality. And Homura, whose hair can never be turned back into braids again, who has lost her way and purpose, turned into a Witch and is ready to sacrifice herself if it means keeping Madoka safe once more. But even as she is, once again, mercifully saved by Madoka in the end in return in another act of selflessness - Homura's initial wish takes over. To be the one to save Madoka - in Homura's sense, means to stop her from being selfless for once, giving her the chance to live a normal life in another fake reality. It's Homura's, presumably, selfish desire in contrast to Madoka's - as they have truly become opposites in every single way. In order to fulfill her wish and become Madoka's sanctuary - even against her will -, she became a Devil to defy the Goddess' universe, following a corrupted form of love once born from the wish to protect the one most important to her. To maintain the image of Madoka she had formed in her head, regardless of whether that is what Madoka has eventually become and wished for by herself. And thus, she cannot wear Madoka's red ribbon, the sign of her legacy and innocence, anymore. A black dress and red eyes now have to face a white dress and golden eyes. The braids cannot return... At least not for now.

... Too long, didn't read: There is A LOT to work with, you already know all of this and yet, I am pretty sure I haven't been able to capture every aspect of them.

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

As mentioned, depending on timeline, universe, state of progression, their dynamic tends to be WILDLY DIFFERENT. You can take Moemura/Shy!Homura and OG!Madoka, you can take Cool!Homura and Anime!Madoka (and their various states in between), you can take EndofAnime!Homura and Madokami, you can take Rebellion!Homura and Rebellion!Madoka, Homucifer and Madokami and you can take Homucifer and FakeWorld!Madoka... The possibilities are ENDLESS (especially when you also include the more comedic-leaning portrayals in spin-off mangas like Homura Tamura).

The good part about this is - you can basically pick your poison, you can make this dynamic as wholesome or as toxic as you desire your own personal brand of Yuri to be. Which is, in my opinion, one of the aspects that make Madoka Magica and HomuMado in general so unbelievably intriguing.

Let's start with the toxic side of things, because I would argue that this is where Rebellion left us hanging and where Walpurgisnacht Rising might continue (at first): Homura's wish and her mingling created a very idealized version of Madoka in her head that she wishes to protect and maintain. Her initial thankfulness and endearment towards the kind, strong Madoka in the original timeline have basically been replaced by her unshaken desire to SAVE her. She has to be the one who (selfishly?) stops her from being selfless, she has to be the one to shield and protect her from any harm, keeping her locked in a precious glass bowl preferably nobody else can mess with. The problem here is that this version of Homura (which is basically Homucifer, but also several stages of her before that) cannot accept any other reading of reality than her own. Yes, in an ideal world, she could have allowed Madokami to finally take her away to exist with her in lesbian heaven for the rest of eternity - but that was not what Homura had wished for. And also probably not what Homura thought she deserved after everything she had done. In a way, having her turn into Homucifer was also some kind of self-chosen punishment as a "sinner"...

And Madoka, honestly speaking, probably had a very idealized version of Homura in her head as well. I'm not just talking about Rebellion!Madoka (or FakeReality!Madoka for that matter), whose memories had been tampered with, but also Madokami - who claimed to have seen all that Homura had done for her, in all timelines and realities... But apparently, she hadn't noticed her state of mind, her being so close to despairing and snapping because she just couldn't take this universe. That she couldn't let Mami or Kyouko in, no matter how hard they tried. She still felt alienated from them and lonely, thus she always reverted back to her initial goal, as she simply didn't belong into this universe. It kinda leads me to believe that it may be impossible for even Madokami to see Homura as anything other than the braided girl from the very beginning, her "best friend" from the original timeline.

Long story short - these two need to actually TALK for once. Getting to know their REAL CURRENT selves in whatever state or timeline that may be. Seriously, letting Madokami and Homucifer have a verbal conversation about all these misconceptions and misunderstandings about each other, talking about needs and desires and BOUNDARIES in a meta-kinda-way would be incredibly satisfying to watch. (And I am pretty sure, such scenarios exist in both fanfiction and doujins, but I haven't found them yet!)

Personally, I also highly enjoy the dynamic between Moemura and OG!Madoka - even after a few timelines have passed, as it has been depicted in the second season of the Magia Record anime. It gave me the impression that Homura had already gained a little bit of confidence and Madoka was still hands-on enough for them to be on a similar wavelength - which makes their dynamic among the healthiest in the entire franchise and gives them a lot of opportunities to bond and develop. For Homura to form a proper sense of self, encouraged by but not entirely dependent on Madoka. Actually, this version is also incredibly close to the Rebellion dream versions of Homura and Madoka - which, unsurprisingly, also is one of the most peaceful versions of them, having them sit together in a flower field, talking for hours about actual things. However, this Homura is still hyperfocusing on Madoka here - and it may not even have been her 100% authentic self, since her memories had been influenced by Homura's vision of her.

However, you have to allow them to talk and actually get to know each other and their flaws, let them banter and tease... Let Homura see and learn to accept undesirable aspects of Madoka - and let Madoka shout back at her if necessary. Deep down inside, they both adore and admire each other - which is why they were compatible in the original timeline in the first place. Homura admired Madoka for her strength, whereas Madoka admired Homura for her coolness. And they absolutely have the potential to help the other to become their best selves. But they need to see each other for who they really are and thus have to abandon codependent tendencies for it to work; Homura has to accept that Madoka is her own person who doesn't need to be overprotected - and Madoka has to accept that she cannot "save" Homura just by herself, but that she may encourage her to get therapy to deal with her self-image first. Let Homura understand that "love" also means to let go. Let her see that different people define "love" differently as well and that you have to understand how your significant other loves to love them back right.

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

When I had watched Madoka Magica for the first time approximately 10 years ago, I was positively - and obviously - in love with this ship and its potential. I adored Rebellion for how tragically it portrayed it - and again, I'm not even sure if I did them justice in comparison to everyone who wrote about them before me. As outlined above, it has various layers to pay attention to and I absolutely cannot wait to see how Walpurgisnacht Rising will add to my initial analysis of them. Because their dynamic WILL change, there is no denying.

Even after all this time, I still (want to) see the romantic potential between them. They may not be my favourite Madoka Magica ship anymore, but I still rate them very highly due to their complexity, my own nostalgia and hopefulness - although I'm aware that I would ship them in very idealized ways myself that are self-indulgently peaceful (and required a lot of therapy). As much as I want to see them get a happy end one way or another - I am currently very invested in exploring Madoka's and Homura's polycule potential dynamics with the other members of the Magica Quintet and am looking forward to writing more ship analysis posts soon!

[lucy---lou]

Part 17 Lucys-hdg-story

I wake up in a cocoon of vines. I feel safe and relaxed and decide to fall asleep again.

****************************

"Time to wake up little one."

"Njjjooo more cuddles", I mumble.

"Alrigth you can cuddle a bit more"

I didn't expect is her to just stand up wiith me inside her. That'll do I guess. We move put I can't see anything from inside her.

"Good morning my little Ellie, sleept well?"

"Good moring Mistress. It was alright, but Lucy wasn't there to cuddle"

I feel a pang of guilt and pull on a vine to tell Misstre Miss Duralis to let me go. The cocoon opens and I am lifted out.

"I'm sorry I - don't know what to say. I... I ehm sorry for leaving you.", I embrace Ellie in a tight hug.

"That's relly cute of you thanks, but you definitely needed the core cuddles. But you do seem surprisingly lucid."

"After a while I moved some leaves between her and my core, otherwise I don't think she would be thinking right now"

"Your core? sorry I didn't mean to go up your privates. I thought is was a big stem or something like that."

"Oh my little kitten, you and Ellie both have a very special place inside me. That includes my core"

"I .. ehm", don't know how to process that," Soooooooo breakfast? Cereal please", I distract. An eeep escapes my mouth as we are picked up on deposited at the table. Cereal is placed in front of me and I just stare at it.

"Can't eat yourself anymore? Do I need to feed you?"

"No- no need to, I was just lost in thought."

I take a spoon full and then begin to stare at it again. Not really at it more like into the nothingness behind it.

*tap* yeah cereal is good

*tap* I chew, wait - oh. I blush again and look at them dumbfumbled.

"I can-" *tap* *tap* "-feed myself"

"Well you were struggling so I'm helping you"

*tap* *tap*

"I was just-" *tap* *tap* "-lost in thought!"

"Sure cutie♡"

"Could you-" *tap* *tap* "-stop?"

"Well petal"

*tap* *tap*

"We're finished anyways", Misstr Miss Duralis smirks,"Your are a natural at receiving commands. Makes me think you want this"

"No! Why should want this. This is humiliating. I can feed myself. I can-" *prick*

"-meow mreow. miauw meow mauw. meowe mrrp mreeoowwwww", I cross my arms and - get petted. I turn away from them and still get petted.

"Is my kitty angyy, awwww", Ellie kisses me.

"skeeecchhhh", I hiss at her. Water is sprayed in my face.

"Bad kitten, we dont attack florets"

"meowwwww", I shake the water of my face and hop of the table. Well I hop of and then get gently lowered to the floor.

"What did I tell you kitten"

"Meow miau", I pout.

Ellie can barley contain her laughing. I walk over to the compiler and hope it can understand catspeak.

"mrrp meow mreau, meoww?"

"Coming up kitten", the hab chirps. Atleast the hab can still understand me.

I grab the cardboard box and lift it over me before I settle down underneath it and sulk. Great they're aawwwing me again. Even worse Ellie is full on laughing at me.

After I while my box is lifted with me inside it, flipped over and closed, tumbling me around. I get carried away.

I poke out to see where I am and spot a plushy. I lift the box grab it and hide again.

"awwww"

"so absolutely adorable, hab please tag this recording"

"Recording tagged, Miss Duralis"

"Thank you"

"grrrrrrrowoworrrr"

"Even cuter"

My pad is slid into my box and I happily accept the distraction it provides. Until Ellie texts me.

Elnolongerlonely: Hey I hope you come out soon. I'm really sorry. I miss you.

Cuddlekitten: Heyi, maybe dunno. Maybe never.

Elnolongerlonely: I won't survive that.

Cuddlekitten: Im sure miss Duralis won't let you die. Also why are our usernames different.

Elnolongerlonely: I think mistress changed them. Can I atleast join you in the box.

Cuddlekitten: fine if you have to

Elnolongerlonely: Yayyyyy, I'll be there in a sec.

The box shuffles a bit an Ellie joins me.

"Hi cutie", she giggles

"miau meow"

"Oh, oops forgot about that. You dont need it to cuddle anyway"

"moewe"

"You'll be fine", and she cuddles me. It actually helps me calm dawn and I feel my self doze of.

-Yes Lucy sleeps alot, that's her way of processing things. Also it's an easy way to start and end a chapter. Call me lazy.

[leonawriter]

I have another (bigger) post in the works, but the concept and argument of "Would things have gone better if Angela had been allowed to be kind to the Sephirah?" keeps sticking in my head, because I have my own arguments against it based on the setting and the concept of the Seed of Light Scenario.

(Post has spoilers for the end LobCorp/LoR.)

Thing is, going through Angela's memories in LoR makes what she went through seem unreasonable. Which I think it's supposed to, since you're seeing things from her biased perspective. It's also fair to show her perspective; she's the main character of her game, and as she herself points out, she's the only one who didn't get her own catharsis and conclusion from Lobotomy Corporation (an argument can also be made for Ayin himself not having a perfect conclusion, but that's for another time, and other people have talked on it).

The problem with Angela being able to simply be kind the way she wanted to at the start lies purely and solely in the very nature of the Seed of Light, and also in the tagline of the Corporation/game itself:

Face the Fear, Build the Future.

In order for each of the Sephirah to "Face their Fear," each one has to break the veneer of their shell, have their meltdown, and air their ugliest thoughts.

In other words.... the selves that they have as Sephirah - Gabriel vs. Yesod, Daniel vs. Chesed, for example - are masks for their insecurities and traumas. "In the past, [x trait] caused me to fail, therefore I will have nothing to do with that trait and be better that way."

In that sense, Angela encouraging them to be the best that they can be as Sephirah is encouraging them to remain happily in their own masks, not requiring them to take said masks off, and in theory things could remain the way they are like that in perpetuity (ironically, much like Hokma wanted in his meltdown).

Sure, they'd get what they want... but would they be getting what they need?

Answer says No, Not Really. With a loud buzzer. And flashing lights.

Because what was that tagline again?

Face the Fear, Build the Future.

In order to face the fear, you have to accept that it exists in the first place. The first step to solving your problems is to recognise them.

You have to, quite literally, face your fears. The Sephirah had to each face the fact that they were running away from their problems.

Only by remembering who they were (in the correct way) and allowing them to process the grief, despair, rage, and turmoil of their past selves could they hope to accept that fully, and to build themselves into better versions of who they are, starting from that moment on.

It's pretty much a certainty that Ayin, who studied the brain, who almost certainly knew a lot about psychology, and who would have listened to the specialities of the others, would have had all of this in mind while writing the Script.

So like... yeah. Yeah, it IS cruel to Angela. Unconscionably cruel!

Personally I abide by this being part of the reason (much like how he couldn't face the others while they were dying) why he could never look at Angela the way she wanted him to; much like with them, he could see the suffering she was going [to] go through, and couldn't face her.

All of which is the reason why Library of Ruina was necessary for her own character development. She is justifiably upset over never having been given the same catharsis in Lobotomy Corporation - but with how much anger she has at Ayin, would she have accepted him trying to help her? No matter how different she could tell that he had become? I highly doubt it.

I think that it's only because she herself had, by the end, gone through an arc similar to Ayin's, where she (knowingly or not) follows the footsteps of both of her "parents" that she's able to hear Ayin saying "I'm sorry, and good job" at all. She's reached a point where she's able to see more of who Carmen truly is (a bad influence) and who Ayin was outside of some of her own biases (even if she hasn't forgiven him).

[its-aftg]

book narrative leads us to think that yes, she knew and accepted it was Riko. Hang with me here, there's a lot to unpack in not a lot of words. Speculation of the text is mine, take my interpretation or don't :) I maybe, defintely, ran away with this because in the end it has to do with two of my favs <3

Let's go in chronological order!

(side note: there is a lot of pharmacology talk in here lol i'm so sorry. i maybe work somewhere in this area lol)

TFC pg 262-

Andrew tapping his phone against his thigh feels just so telling to me. He knows this isn't what it seems like and that thought process coming out in this motion. I just like this :)

I really need mythology Tumblr on this one, I feel like the club/bar being named Bacchus is really important here but this is not my Roman Empire. Breifly - God of wine fertility estacy and banquet, (Dionysus in Greece), created madness, ...he symbolizes the cycle of life - can i argue that Seth is Bacchus and that his death is exactly what he represents? Him dying means the Foxes come together, the Foxes will be 'reborn' into something that they weren't before all because Seth is no longer there and they will continue the cycle. (he had a lot of followers which we can see when there's talk of other friends/notes/teachers when they get back to the court after his death, Seth may have been unlikable to half the Foxes but he was liked by others in his life).

Andrew warned Seth that he was going to off himself via OD - I find the phrasing here interesting because i get the impression that he wasn't doing it to throw in his face but more a srtraightforward observation. How many other things did Andrew try to tell Seth? ("not that he ever listened to me")

If most has been out of his system for years does that mean he hadn't OD'd in the time that the Monsters were on the team? This is only their second year there... if he's only on antidepressants now I really want to know what class lol Alcohol can mess with them (SSRI, SNRI, or MAOI - MAOI has the most risk associated) but other than MAOI would usually just make depression/anxiety worse. MAOI are super 'dangerous' in general and not first or second line treatment, usually only prescribed when other treatment fails and the benefit outweighs the risk, i would argue that no competant MD would prescribe a MAOI to him due to history of drug and alochol use - and potential suicidal thoughts pre-Allison. You don't want to drink on a MAOI, period. If you do you can skyrocket your BP (you also shouldn't eat aged cheese, soy sauce, smoked meats, smoked fish, pickled stuff, etc etc etc, the list is long lol) and not for just the same day you take a MAOI but for like 2 weeks you're not supposed to do these things! High bloodpressure = chest pain, headaches, vomiting, confusion, heart attack, stroke, etc. So this to me means he's on a MAOI (not likely imo) or he took something else. (willingly or not)

(side thought is i don't know how much nora knows about pharmacology and if any of this is actually based in real life or if this is just kinda made up for the story, see some points later to why this is confusing.)

TFC pg 264-

Andrew is like 1000% confident Seth wasn't suicidal. From what we know of Andrew this wouldn't be some half-thought. Did Seth never need to go to Eden's with them because he wasn't actually addicted and it wasn't actually a problem (like Matt or Aaron)? The only problem was the posibility of accidentally dying while using and drinking. Did Andrew equate his using similar to their usage of cracker dust? (the reason, not the potential outcome)

Seth is "Andrew's least favorite fox" (TRK pg 3) and yet he is SO sure of this.

His reg meds plus alochol are probably not giving him this no thinking or feeling, I think these days we all think opiates instead, but maybe some benzodiazapines (maybe at the time a barbituate but i think by this point xanax had become pretty commonly prescribed?) Benzos plus alcohol have an extremely high risk of fatality and honestly where i would put my HC behind... (optiates were around then but honestly not near as popular as they are now for abuse and i think it's less likely that he would have been prescribed an opiate if the main reason he's on meds is depression. see below why i say he was prescribed...)

TFC pg 264 -

They weren't on the outs, Seth ONLY takes 'his pills' when they are.

The phrasing is weird and why I keep coming back to these thoughts. 'His pills' to me means his prescribed meds. I would rule out MAOI since you're taking those as maintenance meds, which makes me think he's on something for breakthrough in addition to his regular non-MAOI anti-depression med. Which as I said above really makes me go to something like xanax. now obviously it could be anything, any CNS depressant with alcohol (another CNS depressant) can have not good outcomes....or a made up drug for this fictional book series lol

I've been around a lot of people who used rx meds (not their own) and party drugs (and the really hard stuff too) for several decades, i don't think a single person has referred to them as 'their pills'. which is maybe why this stands out to me so much.

bby Neil is so in denial after watching Allison check Seth with several witnesses, still just assuming he had taken his. (like did you think he was ooping them? is ooping still the term these days?)

Andrews points are of course super solid here. Riko had to be stragtegic in who he took out, 3 strikers, 2 goalies, 3 backliners, 2 dealers. He had to take out a striker or a backliner and only a striker and a dealer were out that night. Seth was also one with a known drug issue which would make him the easier target over Allison.

TRK pg 23 -

I've said it 1000 times on my blog, but seth dying is what it took for the foxes to win. Him being gone means the monsters and the upper classmen don't have to pick sides anymore, they get to try to merge together at least a little bit.

and with Neil being on both sides.... HE turns into the uniting force because of Seth. Because if Seth had stayed they may never unite, because even though he wanted them to do well so bad he was too unagreeble.

TRK pg 54 -

Just a scene that is refrenced in a later screenshot :)

I like to think he said something like "Don't let him have died for nothing." or "Fuck them up." :D

TKM pg 110 --

(he's got the perfect court number at this point, and just told Riko off in an interview post-game. this is where the cars are destroyed.)

I love that Allison knows he's not sorry and she also doesn't want him to be. Allison needs him to fight against Riko/Ravens bullshittery, because that IS Neil. And he doesn't fight then Seth's death was worthless.

Neil not wanting the fight to come back on them is the funniest shit lol Like the fight hasn't been coming back to the team since day one.

Nothing else they can do will break Allison because she's already lost the most important things - the Reynolds Empire and now Seth. She knows they can't take another teammate cus then they can't play and Riko needs them to be able to play. She's already been the most hurt she can be.

TKM pg 112 -

It really is so right of Aaron to call Neil out here. Becasuse while he may have initially thought that no one would get caught up in his bullshit we've had two whole books to see that's not how this works. Was it a mean way to say it, yes lol

Neil wanting to defend himself but knowing he can't because it is true really makes me think about how we see the AFTG world. Neil says he's sorry, but he's not because he would do it again and again, he thinks what he did is right (i mean me too lol) but he also doesn't just know how to say like shit's gonna happen and it sucks yall will suffer for it but i think it's the right thing to do....

I'm just here for Allison slapping Aaron. Like yes, Neil's mouth caused Seth's death, but Allison is having none of this shit (next part has them actually talking about this). She already KNOWS how Seth's death came about but still needs Neil to be Neil - and Aaron isn't gonna go around putting her mans name in his mouth when it's convienent.

TKM pg 124 --

She in no way has thought that Seth did it to himself since like within 4 days after it happens (we don't know the day of the funeral because Neil never tells us lol thanks. They all split up Sunday when Matt and Andrew got in a fight and don't see each other again until that Wednesday) Maybe initially? But even then I think she knew in her heart that he was clean and he wasn't going to do anything. Better murdered than taken out by himself....

Andrew intentionally having stopped by to ask questions and then share his theory? A class shit. Love this for us. I know he's just trying to make sure the team can play so he can keep all these promises he's made and make sure Neil is still around because at the time he was just interesting but maybe not heart eyes yet...and he knows they need Allison. She also doesn't have a reason to NOT believe Andrew.

I don't know if i think Allison blames Neil, maybe a little bit. Maybe it was hard to look at him and know that he was the catalyst to Seth dying. From Neil's perspective it's hard for me to know.

He acknowledges that she forgave him at some point but neither of them ever talked about it. Even thought Neil here says that he should have said something sooner, Allison also didn't bring it up. It seems that internally she forgave him and then just kept on living life, expecting Neil to be the mouthy asshole he is, and that the foxes would continue to have his back.

The we noticed is so funny, like this bro snuck off to Evermore for weeks, got tortured, came back with a perfect court tat, ripped Riko another asshole in an interview, and yet literally cannot talk to the people he's closest with about important things. like yes, no big deal....

TLDR - Allison knew within a few days that Riko was the cause of Seth's death because of Andrew and accepted this as truth.

(can i tell you how much i don't like not knowing WHAT Seth OD'd on specifically. drives me crazy!!!)

I'm sure this has been said before but do y'all ever wonder if Allison knows? I mean, Seth was clean and had been for a while, and she checked that he didn't have drugs on him, but it wouldn't have been hard for him to slip something by her. do you think she wonders if it really was riko after all? Did she miss the signs? Were there signs to miss? Do you think she lies awake at night flipping that coin in her head.....

[sanasanakun]

Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.

It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Just once, I would like to be able to have a conversation about my feelings with someone where they don't, at some point, start trying to explain to me why something happened such that they are either implying or outright stating I should stop having noticeable feelings at them about a thing and/or telling me that I'm wrong about how I feel and actually if I just understood this thing I would see that I'm being unreasonable to say I feel the way I do.

Just once, for someone's response to be "it sounds like you're feeling [insert thing, e.g hurt, sad, scared, tired, angry, etc], I'm sad that you are dealing with that." Not to take responsibility for my feelings! But for them to acknowledge that they're happening and might matter to me before they move on to whatever the fuck next thing they have to say is

[deadbeandrop]

i always feel like there's such an underappreciated aspect of lumpus being the one to have feelings for slinkman (over the years) which is that there's something so Hilarious about him wanting to dump his head in a vat of acid because he's thinking stupid mushy shit, or Worse, about this Thing again

who also does not pick up on this at all and just thinks he's being weird again

[melit0n]

OooOoOooO Vessel you wanna play Jaws on November 29th so bad OoOoooOo

[fridayyy-13th]

wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.

[atissi]

if you are 1) currently in a university where your student healthcare covers hormone therapy, and 2) in a good financial, emotional, and social position to start hormone therapy, i would recommend pursuing it. because in my experience, it's a huge pain in the ass to get an endocrinologist once you're on your own

[ruvviks]

i love cyberware. it's so intimate