#I'm actually not talking abt myself

[justsomecouscous]

og writer/creator: yeah these two people absolutely hate each other, just like pure loathing, like that's their arch nemesis right there and they've been actively trying to kill each other since they met like they just genuinely hate each other so much-

A sixteen year old girl with daddy issues and a new hyper fixation: not for much longer they won't :)

[trans-leek-cookie]

yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.

The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.

[crossbackpoke-check]

blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)

"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie

[kindaorangey]

recently i've been thinking about rowan omondi in terms of the "supportive black best friend" trope. i've had this idea for a while that it would be interesting to see a story that deals specifically with the psychological effects of being the designated "support friend", especially in cases where that character addressing/expressing their own emotions and advocating for themself would be stigmatised because of their race... and obviously, rowan fits into this neatly, actively repressing and refusing to talk about his feelings because he isn't usually given this sort of support by his friends, it's usually him who's supporting them. and i guess on a metatextual level, once he begins to address his own emotional repression and step down from that support role, you could view it as him becoming cognisant of his own role as the "supportive black best friend".

[toastytrusty]

ok personal headcanon ramble time. MYYYY personal take on hickey's backstory and mental health 👇

in regards to the real cornelius hickey. the big thing -> he did not kill him. i understand why it was done that way in the show, but it doesn't make sense to his arc (read: the slow building horrifying realization that killing someone for the greater good is okay, actually) for him to have killed someone prior to the canon and be so unbothered by killing people. so within my mind palace that did not happen. instead, i like to believe he drugged him and locked him up somewhere on the day of the expedition. this is where it gets reallyyyy I'm Just Making Shit Up-y but. to MEEE. our hickey was having a really bad few years, deep in depression and struggling with alcoholism and whatever else, and eventually meets the Real cornelius hickey at a pub or something. they get close, our hickey is captivated by him, they're probably fucking, and the real hickey tells him about this expedition he's going on to the arctic! how fascinating! and his mental state kinda flips.

dave k has said hickey was written to have npd, which, obviously. no one was questioning that. but i also view him as having bipolar 1. we see Multiple examples within the show of him having what could be considered manic episodes, he gets really paranoid, has an intense fear of not being in control, etc. his delusions of grandeur can all be quite well explained by fits of mania, and he even arguably has moments psychosis (cough double homicide cough. because there is not one singular reason to take all your clothes off in the ARCTIC. he was not in his right mind). and! i think his decision to steal someone's identity and get on an arctic voyage when he's never been to sea in his life was something of a manic decision. he was in a months/years long depressive episode prior to meeting the real cornelius hickey, then he was sequentially thrown into a manic episode, and years of resentment and ambition coalesced into this idea of fleeing britain and making something of himself in o'ahu.

so, he drugs his new friend the night before the expedition, locks him in a closet or shed or something, and takes his place. i think him taking someone else's identity instead of just going as himself is a decision largely more relevant to other aspects of his character, such as the class traitor-ness and general themes of imperialism and bureaucracy in the show, but there is still a very paranoid weight to it. it's also obviously the less rational way to do things, which. yk. manic irrational decision making.

and just for fun. further less psychoanalytical and more thematic personal takes on his backstory:

his mother Was irish, but his father was english, and left before he was born. his mom died of consumption when he was nine and he went to live with his uncle in england. so he Is irish, just never really lived much of his life in ireland. takes the name and face of a real irishman to try clinging to something more real than he has ever felt he was, masking his insecurity. fake caulker fake sailor fake irishman. or whatever.

and the caulker thing. caulkers fill in cracks, fix things, hold everything together. the real hickey being a caulker is one of the things that fascinates our hickey and makes him want to take the real hickey's place. his narcissistic need to be needed. his grandiose delusions that he is the key to everything and only he can save everyone starts with him Becoming someone whose job it is to hold the little pieces of the world together.

from ages 14 to 18 he hung with a group of guys that moved around a lot looking for work, kind of a gang but not really. they had a hunting dog and hickey was more an equal with the dog than with them. they didn't like him. he was tasked with taking care of the dog, and grew to resent it even though it was the closest he had to a friend.

not thematic Or psychoanalytical but i like to believe those guys threw him out of a window on his 18th birthday. For morale. he stopped following them around after that

[imaveryevilenby]

alright hold on hold on hold on we're doing 3am gender thinking again

so the initial idea of my views on gender that occurred to me at 5am last time in what was probably a manic episode is fuck gender I can't fit the boxes expected of me so I'll dismantle the whole system and do my own thing

so problem is I can't do that, I can't dismantle the whole system and go my own way because I am entirely dependent on the sex and gender systems we have in place and how other people view sex and gender

additionally the idea that gender itself is the outdated stereotypical system is flawed, gender is the way a person feels and we've made categories and boxes to describe incredibly complex feelings

the problem is the more specific a gender gets, the smaller that box gets, the more people are excluded from that box so the solution is another box that fits better or make their own like with neogenders

the solution is a line of gender boxes like hermit crabs...

the fun part about thinking of gender and stuff is that I personally believe that every single person on earth experiences gender and life differently from every other person, even if only slightly

so theoretically if every person on earth were to describe their gender outlook and gender experiences and form a gender identity from that, then there could theoretically be 8 billion god damn genders

the solution is more genders

the solution is running Doom (1993) on my fucking gender

[byanyan]

i think... i'm gonna take a little break for the weekend. i'm struggling with energy and focus and, like. autistic inertia. which is making writing (or even opening up my laptop with the intent of writing) difficult. and then i'm putting pressure on myself bc i feel bad about not keeping up with things which makes it that much harder. so i think!! i need to just take a step back for a few days!! remind myself that it's not the end of the world and it's okay to not write if i'm having a hard time!! let myself indulge in the hyperfixation i have for a couple of games rn without feeling guilty for it!!!

could i do this without announcing it to everyone bc who cares if someone you only know online is away for a couple days? yes. but it takes a weight off my chest to explain myself, so!!!! shhh!!!

[zincbot]

whatever lou wilson puts into his dnd characters to make them live in my brain forever....

[copia]

i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza

edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[across-stars]

(he's autistic to me)

[whenyoucomeback]

The funny thing about Odysseus is that despite the fact my first experience with Any Of This Stuff was through the Troy saga in Epic, I have since become way too flustered at the mere idea of listening to aaany other songs from it. So now I'm kinda just waiting to see if I'll either get a literal translation of The Odyssey (the things I do for the sake of crushing on fictional characters), or get impatient and miss him too badly and decide "aw heck" and put on the rest of Epic.

[spaceratprodigy]

For the ship asks: 3 and 36, your choice!

@kyberinfinitygems — [ OTP Prompts ]

More Cybill/Iris for the soul! >:]

@grimreapersbutt answered these with me 🖤✨ thank u again bestie mwah

–

3. Are they into PDA? Who initiates most?

At first it's Iris! She is a very physical person, very lovey and very expressive about it. By the time they have their first kiss and it hits very hard that they are in love with each other, once she can have him it's all over. That man is going to be spoiled rotten with her love every chance she gets.

Cybill matches her energy very well, he is just as mushy gushy as she is, but it takes him a while to realize he's allowed to be that way.

From being in his vault, he has some preconceptions of what is socially acceptable, and being with Iris pulls him out of that. He becomes just as expressive as she is and much less worried about what other people think.

I cannot stress enough that once they are together, the jaws of life cannot pry them apart. Literally a package deal, do not separate. They may or may not become a bit shameless over just how affectionate they're willing to be anywhere and everywhere. Hoo boy. But they very much enjoy so much soft intimacy as well. Catch them standing around holding hands, being all close, Cybill resting his head on Iris's shoulder, whispering sweet nothings to each other, finding so so much comfort in each other.

Being together genuinely helps both of them so much. Obvs there is so much to get into there regarding their stories before they meet and once their paths becomes one. But plenty of friends have read what we have of their PDF so far and can attest to just how deeply their love for each other runs and the lengths they are always willing to go to to take care of each other.

–

36. Who is more protective?

That's the million dollar question isn't it? They are both really fucking protective of each other, not to mention how protective they are of June and Henry.

Realistically, Iris is the stronger one of the two of them and is more capable of doing the defending. But, to revisit what was mentioned above, Cybill's time in the vault has left him with a certain mindset regarding traditional gender roles within a marriage. He'll feel like it's his job to be The Man Of The House, and is likely to throw himself into danger to protect his family.

As protective as he is, it still doesn't change the fact that my sweet baby boy isn't the strongest lad and is a popsicle stick of a man ✌️😔 and, such is often the way, he needs Iris to help protect him. Which she does, and always will. She loves him, she would do anything to keep him safe. If he gets hurt, she will always be there to take care of him, patch him up, kiss him better.

That isn't to say he should ever be underestimated. In both of their cases, they can be pushed hard enough to the point you'll find out just how fucking vicious they can be. Yes, for each other, absolutely. If their sweetie is in immediate danger, there will be no hesitation to keep them safe at whatever the cost. But when it comes to the babies, if June and Henry are threatened in any way, you aren't living to see the light of day. Would you rather be torn apart by the lifetime's worth of pent up blind rage mama bear or her feral little rat husband who will probably tear you to shreds with his bare teeth and eat you 🔍🤨 either way, they're probably going to have both Overreacted™️ and walk away drenched in blood.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[justsomeoneunordinary]

lesbian mdtb au in which mdr has a bit of a sexuality crisis bc she was so sure she's a lesbian but tbrm keeps flirting with her and for some reason it turns her on?? she's betrayed by her own body??

so she keeps away from tbrm as much as possible bc she doesn't want to be into a dude damnit, thanks but no thanks

until one day she somehow crashes into tbrm in the most cliché way possible and holy shit, are those boobs she feels underneath her?!

so turns out tbrm isn't a dude, just a very butch, and mdr's lesbian senses have been tingling all along but she's been too dumb to realize it

and then they make out or smth idk

(izuna meanwhile laughs his ass off bc he ofc knew what was up but there's no way he would've said smth)

[wereh0gz]

Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency