#I'm about to make a little theory post on how things came to be & another possibility

[r0semultiverse]

Okay; so, this was an Ice Prince Finn scarecrow!

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

[blueinsomnia]

Ekko and Jinx's History: A Simple Comment

So I read something the other day talking about how fans are making Ekko and Jinx's relationship romantic and not all male and female characters HAVE to be romantically involved. I agree with this. I'll go so far as to say that this is true for any character of any gender. In my own writing (with my original characters) I rarely have romantic undertones. Mostly just friends being friends. While I get the allure of the romantic chase, of most people we deal with in life we aren't connecting to them romantically. Friends are friends.

That said, this is not the case with Ekko and Jinx. From Ekko's release in 2015 there has always been some romantic undertones with Jinx. Riot has always been a bit mysterious about what his relationship is with Jinx. Ekko even has a line in the game where he says:

The foundation had been laid long before Arcane was released in 2021.

Between 2015 and 2021 (when Arcane was released), a lot of official art and such dropped hints about SOMETHING going on between them. Much like Jinx being Vi's sister. You have to remember that this was originally a secret. It was Ghostcrawler who finally confirmed fan theories, even though he tried to walk it back later. Oops! Ha, ha!

(An image from 2015)

To add to the mystery, on both of their official pages, Ekko is listed as connected to Jinx and Jinx is listed as connected to Ekko. However, at no point does Riot explain how they're connected. Their stories don't mention the other at all. So this means that some things were planned, but they weren't ready to reveal. I'm still of a mind that they were waiting to use Arcane as a vehicle to get into Jinx's history and how that intersected with Ekko and Vi. Before Arcane, we knew very little about Jinx and how she ends up the way she does.

Then, before Arcane came out we got this little nugget in Legends of Runeterra:

Remember, this is 100% from Riot themselves. Not the fans. Riot laid the seeds down and it was the fans who picked up on it and ran. I doubt anyone would have ever thought there was something between Ekko and Jinx without Riot dropping hints. By the time we got to Arcane Season 1, the train was already in motion.

Let's not even forget the insane number of Jinx references in the True Damage video they released in 2020. Generally it wasn't odd to see Ekko and there would be some sort of Jinx reference somewhere. That wasn't true for Jinx until recently.

After Arcane, Riot themselves has been dropping hints like crazy. Jinx has been putting Ekko's hourglass symbol on stuff. League Brazil did a huge Twitter AMA with Star Guardian Ekko and Jinx. Jinx goes to the Grammys with Ekko.

Another official Ekko and Jinx moment. Check out her shirt!

And let's not forget this one for the Billboard Music Awards:

They went to the event together!

So...while I see people saying that the fans were to blame for Jinx and Ekko being romantically involved, it should be pointed out that this is all Riot's doing. The best part is that the fans have been largely receptive to their efforts in promoting the couple. Riot has waited a long time to be able to say what they want to say about them.

And if there is any doubt about where they're going with them as a couple, let's just remember this cover for the art book for Arcane:

Another official piece done by Riot and Fortiche themselves.

Sorry for the long post, but I thought it was important to point out that it's not the fans who set this up. It'll be interesting to see where this all goes, but based on their track record so far, it should be clear where the end game is headed.

Thanks for reading!

[madlori]

Sometimes the delulu IS the solulu.

After some thought, and reading a lot of really insightful thoughts here and on Discord, I think I've reached a conclusion.

I'm going full tinhat. Not in an unhinged way, though.

I don't think this is the end.

I'm not going to count on it. I'm barely going to hope for it. But I am going to...keep an eye out for it.

The one common refrain we've heard from each other is that this did not feel like a permanent breakup. It felt so obviously and blatantly like a setup for Buck to fight for the relationship. It was that "one partner freaks out a bit and the other has to show their commitment" relationship hurdle which is so common it's a trope. In fact, most of us assumed that's just what it was...until those interviews

Now, I do not put Tim Minear up on some kind of pedestal of writerly greatness - far from it. And he did not write this episode, but the plotlines all go through him.

BUT.

He has always been very attached to Tommy as a character and to this relationship. He loves it. He loved red string theory so much that he wrote it into this episode. And I'm about halfway convinced he's in love with Lou but that's beside the point. (I mean, we get it, Tim.)

Tommy's what he always said he wanted to get for Buck. Firefighter, integrated into the 118, yadda yadda, we've been over this a lot. Someone he chooses, someone he works to build something with. Someone who shows up for him. He had Buck SAY in this episode that he'd never felt like this since Abby.

The thread of Tommy wanting a found family like Buck's. The intense settled/caregiving vibe of 8x05. It all felt so...purposeful. And yes, I agree that this could have been done just to punch up the angst for Buck when it ends. But that's not the only explanation.

The many, many comments of wanting to move Buck along in his personal life. Oliver wanting to do settled, domestic storylines with him. Giving Tommy the big hero romcom entrance in that hospital.

And what now? Cycle Buck through another love interest? It's hard to imagine recapturing what he had with Tommy with anybody else, or for the GA to embrace it as much as they did. What little we can see of the GA reaction (because the official socials are weirdly quiet and have not posted) is that they're not happy about this. Tim knows this.

I can buy Tim making some dumb writing decisions but he's not stupid. I find it very hard to swallow that he'd voluntarily toss away all this, and this potential, and what they'd already established, and a pairing/character/actor he loves, for what? For nothing.

So I think that it's not for nothing.

I think the plan IS to reunite them...

...they just don't know when, or how.

For some reason he wants to give it a break for awhile. I don't know why. There could be off-camera reasons. But I think it happened recently. Two weeks ago we got interviews talking about hurdles being overcome, relationships deepening, etc etc. It's a great episode for them, came out of Oliver's mouth. Not important, not consequential - great. And hey, what happened to that very important Bobby conversation where he gave Buck important advice? It wasn't there.

I think a change was made in the last two weeks. And yes, I know the loft stills were dated 9/17.

Two weeks is plenty of time to reshoot one scene, between when those interviews came out and last night. The stills could be from the first time it was shot, in September. Put the guys in the same wardrobe, we'd never know the difference, or that those stills weren't from the scene we actually saw.

OR

The scene was always the one we saw, but was always meant to be temporary, and the change was in how they talked about it in the interviews from last night. That is a simpler explanation, as it doesn't involve reshoots, but it doesn't explain those very incongruous interviews we got two weeks ago that do not match the scene we saw. Now, they have always vagued it up, and talked around things in interviews, but this was an entirely new level of misdirection and outright lying that isn't typical.

I'm really tinhatting it up now, but hey, what have I got to lose? I'm not investing anything in this. It's just...a thought.

If you think the network interfered (I don't, at least not for plot-related reasons, see below) or Oliver demanded the relationship be cut (I don't - I know lots of you are mad at him but I'm not), whatever it was...I just get a vibe. It could be as simple as money. It could be a ratings thing. Honestly? It could be that they've found out they're getting cancelled, and were ordered to cut bait on guest stars. They could be kicking the can down the road to goose ratings for spring when they do bring it back. There are lots of reasons I can think of and probably more that I can't.

I read a thoughtful and reasonable post about how it was more or less a mercy killing to post those interviews - most showrunners like to keep viewers guessing and coming back, so for them to say definitely BT was dead meant it's really, really dead (although how definitive they actually were is another question).

They might be right about that. I don't know.

Or they just might not know themselves. Even if the plan IS to reunite them eventually - if they don't have a plan for how or when, the safest course is to shut it down. No guarantees they can make it work, so play it safe. Oliver and Lou might not be looped in on this.

It's pretty thin. They probably would be, although we have ample evidence of actors not knowing stuff until the last minute. The other option is that they are looped in and are intentionally lying but I think that's very unlikely - although Lou has demonstrated a keen skill in keeping his mouth shut when necessary.

I'm not going to get nuts about this and neither should anybody else. I'm not going to be scouring socials or the internet looking for support or clues. I'm not going to be holding my breath waiting for a sign.

The only thing I'll keep an eye on is how they handle any flirtation or dating Buck does in the near future. How they handle it might be telling.

This is ALL very unlikely, let's be real.

I'm still tinhatting, though. Why not? What have we got to lose?

But if I'm right, I expect that red dodgeball in my inbox toot sweet.

(And Buddie still isn't going canon, btw.)

[snowthedemonfox]

Okay so we're at it again with me posting another theory, this one I haven't seen anyone else point out yet so I might as well post about it. This might be a bit long, so prepare to do some reading

TL;DR: CAINE'S OFFICE IN EP 4 IS CONNECTED TO THE OFFICE AREA WE SEE IN THE PILOT

I'll explain under the cut because THIS WILL TAKE A BIT:

ONE: Even if Caine was playing the part of upper management this episode, I don't think he made this office area just for the sake of the adventure.

There's heaps of books in the background, ranging from info about Gloinks, a Murder Drones parody, a reference to the Pilot, and a book that's called "MatPat Theory". You can see a small version of the Tent next to his monitor, along with various drawings on his desk and on the pinboard in the background.

I think this is Caine's ACTUAL office, where he goes to work on any upcoming adventures he's making for the cast. I've said in a previous post that after this episode I believe all future (or at least most) adventures will be based on suggestions from the suggestions box. (To make a long story short, Ragatha seems to like baseball, and the season 1 trailer showed us a WIP version of a baseball stadium. Would not surprise me if she's the one who suggested that.)

Yes, we see Caine throw away the box after deciding on the Spudsy's adventure, but Caine logic is Caine logic and it wouldn't surprise me if he just /tp'd that box to this out of bounds office area for him to look through later. His main priority is making sure that EVERYONE likes his adventures, and it makes sense that he would take advantage of the suggestions box (after being reminded it exists), especially after his therapy session with Zooble in episode 3.

He's in his office because he's decided to scrap his current list of adventures and instead make adventures based on what the humans seem to want. It'd also make sense that this is the one adventure where he actually decides to use his 'all seeing eyes' to watch the cast throughout the day. He's seeing if they do better on a suggested adventure compared to an adventure HE came up with. That's why he's got all the photos of them throughout the day, and is keeping track of their scores on his computer (An AI having his own computer? A computer within a computer?). And based on the scores he gave them, he doesn't seem to notice that nobody really had the best time on a 'realistic' adventure.

It's hard to make out since the screen is blurry, but I'm pretty sure the spreadsheet has the character's names on it (Kinger, Zooble, Jax, Ragatha, & Pomni) along with their scores in the second column. Hard to read what the last one says though. Maybe it's just for additional notes? Gangle most likely isn't listed yet because Caine's talking to her in this scene. He'll write down her score once she leaves.

(Side note, but Caine probably repurposed his horror adventure for Kinger to have fun with while everyone else was at Spudsy's, which would be why his A+ score doesn't count towards the whole 'checking if the humans prefer suggestted ideas more' thing. Kinger didn't do the horror adventure Caine had planned.)

TWO: If every map has a 'backrooms-like' out of bounds area, wouldn't it make sense for this office area to be the out of bounds area for the Tent?

If you compare the office area to episode 2's out of bounds area, they look pretty similar, like a giant maze. We saw that episode 2's out of bounds area still had little areas of importance, like storing the character models, so why wouldn't the office area also have these small rooms? We have the notable computer we see at the end of the pilot, and now Caine's office.

If this area is still connected to the Tent, then it'd make sense for Gangle to know how to leave. Caine probably has a door he spawned in for them to leave through, similar to the Exit door from the Pilot. If I had to guess, it's probably connected to either one of the various doors on the side of the Tent (where we see Pomni checking looking for him in the Pilot), or to one of the bigger hallway doors we see on every floor (which I talk a bit more about in this theory).

Speaking of that Exit door, though- We know Caine never actually finished making that exit. If he had no idea what to put on the other side, wouldn't he just put a placeholder there instead? Like, I don't know, maybe lead it to the out of bounds area directly connected to the Tent? Where his office is? So he can still keep an eye on it?

It's probably why his wackywatch never picked up on the fact Pomni was there until she ended up in the Void. If Gangle can walk freely through the office area to get back to the Tent, then Caine probably has no reason to be alerted if someone's there.

It's not like they're not supposed to be there EVER, and if they got lost, he could find them anyway! (Referring to Kinger's line in ep 2 when talking to Ragatha about Pomni being lost) Someone just tells him that there's a person missing, he tracks them down, and brings them out of the office area.

THREE: If you compare the two locations, a lot of things seem to match.

The lights on the ceiling look near identical, the only difference being that the Pilot's version has some kind of filter... air conditioner thing? I don't know what those are called but if this is a general employee area, it'd make sense to have that there.

There's the same cabinets and even the exact same plant model. The office area in the Pilot already had a lot of re-used models, so if Caine's office is directly connected to it, it'd make sense if it also had these re-used models.

The only thing that doesn't match exactly are the computers.

The monitor Caine uses has little buttons on the bottom of it, while the Pilot computer doesn't. But you could argue that's because the computer seen in the pilot is much older. So if it's been there for a while (Since I can only assume this entire office area is based on the office the actual computer hosting the game's server is in), then you could argue that whatever office this was, just, never upgraded this computer specifically. All the other computers look much newer and more clean, but it's hard to tell if they also have those buttons on the monitors.

If it weren't for the fact we see the C&A logo in Spudsy's as well I'd argue that's also a thing the Pilot and episode 4 have in common, but since we DO see the logo in Spudsy's, I can't really make that argument.

But it's still worth pointing out that Caine uses a computer with the C&A branding on it, and the Pilot's office area has a giant C&A logo on one of the walls. Again, not the strongest piece of evidence here, but I think it's still a good idea to mention it.

Still have no idea on why Caine started glitching out at the end of the episode, though. Hope he's okay.

[thefandomenchantress]

Chapter 2 Episode 15 Spoilers below!

Since Ace being the culprit has brought about so much pain to ace lovers, including me, I figured I'd make a list of all the good things that him being the culprit brings to us. Even though Ace will (probably) be executed next episode, that doesn't mean that nothing good came out of this, right?

-Ace's backstory may be revealed much sooner than expected! Before we would've had to wait for chapter 3 or chapter 4 and so on, but since Ace will be gone soon, almost everything not revealed next episode will get told to us in a bonus episode! (I think every dead person gets one of those? Idk if that's officially confirmed). I doubt Teruko's gonna find, like, Ace's diary in chapter three detailing his life story, so if we're ever getting the Taylor Lore™, it'll be in a bonus episode! Plus, a bonus episode would come out a lot faster than the whole of chapter three, so more Ace content sooner no matter what happens in it! And there's always the chance he gets picked for an FTE, since dead people are on the list of options.

-Ace canonically has neat, fancy handwriting. Begone rumors of Ace having illegible, traditionally boy-ish handwriting, he actually writes like a 19th century scholar and I find this very funny. More evidence for my 'Ace likes reading and writing and wanted to become a romance author' crack theory, since he also reenforced his particularness about vocabulary in chapter 2 part 2. (Our only remaining question: Does Ace actually have terrible spelling ('responsibel'), or did he just think Eden would?)

-Ace is very good at being sneaky and often overhears things he shouldn't. I can't wait for this to be used as a plot device in numerous fics ("XANDER YOU'LL NEVER GUESS THE SHIT I JUST HEARD DAVID SAY ABOUT YOU WHEN HE THOUGHT HE WAS ALONE").

-Ace will have to be included in the dead (formerly a) trio posts forevermore. Get ready for Xander-Min-Arei-Ace shenanigans.

-Now that the cast has been forced to acknowledge that being dumb and angry aren't Ace's only traits and that he's just as human as the rest of them, Ace is much less likely to be seen as just those two things by the average viewer. Ace's popularity, or at least the amount of dislike towards him, seems to have shifted since the last episode, and I'm happy more people are able to enjoy what his character has to offer now. He's a cool little guy. I've literally NEVER seen the Ace Markey tag this busy before.

-We got so many cool Ace CGs guys. SO MANY. Including one where he's hanging upside down on the swing set and looks weirdly cute for someone in the middle of a murder plan.

-Also new sprites! The DRDTdev gave Ace a redesign knowing full-well that it would only get a singular chapter of use, and I massively respect that. We already got some new sprites in part 2 of chapter 2 so far, and I'm guessing next episode he'll probably have at least one more breakdown sprite before he dies.

-For someone who no one in the cast liked, he's definitely going to leave an impact. He's finally made at least some of the cast realize what happens when they ignore the issues right in front of them. Ace shouts about how everyone hates him and sees him as an insufferable idiot? Eh, probably nothing, we don't have to worry about that. Sure, multiple people told him he's gonna die next in here, and he almost got murdered, but that won't amount to anything. What's he gonna do, murder someone--WAIT SHIT Ace step away from the Arei I repeat step away from the Arei-- (plus Teruko parallels). I'll probably go more in-depth about this sort of thing in a different post.

-WE NEVER GOT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER HIS GLOVES. Kyoko and Mukuro both had hand-related secrets that connected them to the plot later on, does that mean Ace will have some sort of relevance to the mastermind or overall lore later on? Like a Mai tattoo situation? (Or maybe it's another thing that may be alluded to or discussed in the bonus episode)(Or left to interpretation but I hope not because I have so many theories).

If you have any more suggestions for other good Ace-related things the culprit reveal brought us, let me know and I can add them to the list! We need as many good things as we can think of right now...

[osleeplessflowero]

I figured it's time to bring back Classic Sans for a oneshot. Haven't posted about him since Stargazing! My very first Sans oneshot and Undertale oneshot as a whole. - Reader is Gender Neutral as always! Their SOUL type is up to you. - This is a good way to tie these oneshots to another series of mine :)

It's quiet..before a breeze fills your ears. Your senses are overloaded with sound. Soon you can feel the breeze too, gently hitting your skin as you slowly open your eyes and move your hands over the grass beneath you.

How long had you been asleep? What happened? Did you miss anything? Your head is spinning..

A familiar voice pulls you out of your thoughts softly, calmly. Just like he always does.

"heya. glad to see you're back." He greets you with a smile once you look over, just as he always does. You can't help but smile too. Sitting up, you scoot a bit closer to him and abruptly drop your head on his shoulder, to his surprise. "woah there, what's this all about?" He raises a browbone as he looks down at you, feeling your arm move behind his back so you can awkwardly hug him.

"How long was I asleep?" You ask, getting straight to the point. He looks back up, focusing on the rising sun before the two of you. "not much time has passed here since you fell asleep. or, i guess you could say we fell asleep, huh?" He chuckles. "guessing you've had lots of opportunities to explore. i couldn't imagine doing all that."

"..Yeah." You think about places you've been, your consciousness moving about through different timelines and possibilities. It is only right here, in this space, that you can truly remember things..and where you originally came from. You've certainly seen a lot of interesting figures recently. All of them being different variants of Sans, and even his brother, Papyrus. The same two, just..in various different fonts.

"it's kinda weird, when i think about it." You turn to look at him. "how there's so many other mes just..hangin' around in other timelines. that even the smallest decision can make an entirely new form, a new me. up to the point where..it's like i'm a whole other person. they're sorta..physical "what if"s. aaand prove that the timeline theory is real..so..that's complicated. i guess i can see why you like to go see them all. curiosity."

"..Yeah..it's..like a new adventure each time." You earn a nod from him, before you sit up and move so you're in front of him, placing your hands at the sides of his legs. "But..just so we're clear, that doesn't mean I want to see you any less, Sans. You're still you, the original you, that..that I fell for in the beginning." Heat rises to your cheeks, burning even warmer as you watch a shade of blue make its way onto the skeleton's cheekbones to match.

"i mean, i understand if you prefer some variations of me more. i'm not gonna take it personally-" You cut him off, placing your hand on his left cheekbone. He freezes like a deer in the headlights, his eyesockets relaxing a little as he leans into your touch almost instinctively.

"Just because I like to see other outcomes it doesn't mean I'll love you any less. I refuse to leave you behind. I won't leave Paps behind either. I promise."

"seems like a pretty big promise. sure you can keep it?" "I'm absolutely sure." You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his own. "No matter what..you'll always remain in my heart, Sans. The true you, I mean." "why settle for me when you can have so many other mes?" He raises a browbone, a soft smile on his face. "At the end of the day it was the two of you that my heart belonged to first. Nothing will change that." His face is now a prettier, brighter shade of blue..you can't help but smile, seeing him like this.

"You're not making puns." "it's not the time for that." He averts his eyelights, earning a chuckle from you. You lightly tap his cheek. "C'mon..look at me." "i dunno.." "Please?" "what if i fall for you all over again?" You smile. "I'd be alright with that."

He turns his eyelights to you, unable to look away the moment he does. You can hear his breath hitch, the lights shifting into little heart shapes the moment he blinks. "..Can I?..Or would that be too forward?-" You mutter, your face heating up again at the thought. "just get over here, you." He puts his arms around your waist, pulling you a little closer so you can make contact yourself.

You lean forwards, pressing your lips against his teeth..feeling yourself becoming lost in the moment. Your heart pounds in your ears, your faces both madly flushed as you embrace each other's company. Eventually you have to break the kiss for air, softly regaining your breath as he stares at you with admiring eyes. He reaches up his hands, placing them on the sides of your face now. The cool feeling both calms your nerves and makes you even more flushed. "you alright being stuck with me? with us, even?" "Always. Don't ever question that." You smile, earning a grin from him in return as you hear footsteps approaching in the distance.

"There You Two Are! I've Been Looking Everywhere For You!" Papyrus comes to a stop before you, pressing his hands on his hips with his all-too-familiar grin. A few seconds pass before he takes in your states, a smug look crossing his face. "Am I Interrupting Something?"

"nah, you got here just in time. right?" Sans lightly nudges you, earning rapid nods from you in return. If you let him hear your voice tremble or crack you would quite literally die inside.

"so, what's up? something going on?" He asks, putting an arm around you. "I Thought You Might Want To See Our New Neighbors! They Are Quite The Interesting Bunch. And..Oddly Familiar Looking.."

You and Sans give each other a knowing look. "You don't think?.." "awfully convenient timing, universe." "Might as well make a good first impression, huh?"

[justchillandshipit]

Allow me to take a moment here. Tim just acknowledged couch theory?

Moving on to Buck and Tommy’s breakup, talk about your approach to it. Why was Tommy sure that Buck would break his heart?

Tommy’s older and Buck is very new to this, and whether Tommy was correct or not, I think what he felt like was exactly what he said: I’m not your last, I’m your first, which is a special thing to be, but as Tommy says, it doesn’t usually end up being the same thing. And I think based on what we know of Buck, he’s maybe not wrong. Buck’s a little impulsive when he’s feeling a certain kind of way. He’s like, move on in, bring your couch. So I just think because Tommy’s a little older and wiser or maybe at some level he feels like he doesn’t deserve Buck, I don’t know. But I think he accurately diagnosed Buck. Buck’s still figuring himself out, and boy, that would be quite risky to move in with that guy as much as you would love to.

---

We have a couch reference.

---

Somewhat unrelated but relevant:

I also think that I have finally caught up on all the articles. In every article, someone says Eddie is straight. I want to say about four articles have a reference or a mention of straight Eddie, and there is one in-canon statement from Eddie. So what do we think about that? I instinctively want to say that to have that many denials is sus, but I also have to acknowledge that the question was asked before the response was offered. I honestly don't know what to believe when it comes to the show's direction. I'm still here though and sticking with my original plan to give them until the end of Seasn 8 to move Eddie out of the closet. I will not accept the demise of this ship a moment sooner. It doesn't help that actors are excellent liars. Oliver always makes me second guess myself. lol For now, I'm still here and still clowning.

Other things to consider in favor of Buddie:

There was one article from TVInsider where the interviewer reminded the reader that Eddie said he wanted a beard. Most of us know the gay coding of that word, and that was promptly followed by the Priest pointing out that Eddie was wearing a mask/disguise. This is all within the same conversation where Eddie assumed the Priest was hitting on him, and he called himself straight.

I'm also low-key wondering about the possible conflict between Eddie and Buck coming up. I need more info on that. What?? These two haven't had beef since Buck sued Bobby in Season 3 and Buck and Eddie argued in the grocery store. We all know how Eddie served c#nt like a professional in that fight. Eddie ended up forgiving Buck soon afterward, but Buck was still apologizing four episodes later. lol

I saw in another post where someone compared the image of Eddie in the confessional with the image of Eddie seeing Buck through the peephole of his door. (Hint, both looked like confessional images.) That has to be deliberate.

Tim's comment above referenced Tommy and a couch in a similar context to Eddie and Buck's conversation when Buck said his last few couches came with girlfriends, and Eddie corrected him to say his girlfriends came with couches.

@stagefoureddiediaz 's color theory is still proving accurate as well.

Updates

Buck looking less than thrilled at seeing Laker tickets. Tommy tells him he can use the gift with Eddie and Buck perking up at the idea, only for Tommy to say nope. Joking. (On a second watch, I think I read too much in to this one, but I'm keeping it on the list as very loose interpretation.)

Oliver admits that Buck looked Eddie up and down when he opened the door and knew something was going on with him, but then the whole sit in silence thing. (I know the breakup was on Buck's mind, but I swear he looked like he was trying not to think about Eddie being half naked beside him.)

Also, Eddie was half naked just sitting beside him. I can't help but think of them sitting there like that. Buck and Eddie are going to the same place, but they are taking totally different paths to get there. At some point, they are going to meet each other face to face and be like, you're here.

(I saw a theory. You always have to take these with a grain of salt, but I can't deny the theory sounds good. there have been a lot of parallels that are relevant for Buck and Eddie with the exception of Eddie's shooting.) I did read one interview, it may have been TVInsider, where the interviewer said they hoped Buck wouldn't be in danger. Oliver hinted that Buck was always putting himself in those situations. I think it might be a hint for what is to come. Also, if Buck is putting himself in dangerous situations again, this might be something that has Eddie angry with Buck. I think there is a lot of room for this theory. We'll have to wait and see on that one.

In a previous interview, Oliver told us there was an upcoming scene where Buck and Eddie sat in silence and that it was a testament to their friendship. In the latest interview in Variety, he talks about the scene again but this time he says "that it speaks volumes about their relationship that they could be going through things and handling it so differently but still be there for each other with little need for words. (This is the same interview where Oliver admits that Buck looked Eddie up and down.) At the end of this question, he reiterates that it speaks volumes that they were in different places and could still be there for each other. He says, "I think it really speaks volumes to the strength of their bond."

[lennadanvers]

Seven Minutes in Hell

Uni Student!Eddie x Asexual!Reader

A/N: One day left of the Ace Week and I finally finished this (kinda sorta, in the way that I can't and I won't keep adding to it, or editing it or rewriting it). I'm completely burned out, my back hurts and I lowkey hate how this turned out- there's so much dialogue and I read it so many times I just think it's bad now. However, since I put so much effort into it, and since I want Eddie to be with an ace reader, I'm posting it anyway. Please be nice, because I've been in a crisis for over a week and I will cry if you're mean. Also, this is terribly long compared with my usual works. Idk.

NOTE: The Reader is asexual. No, there is no use of the word "asexual" here, because it's not needed for a character to be ace. No, the Reader doesn't explain/teach to others what it means to be ace- they just voice their boundaries. Asexual is someone who feels little to no sexual attraction (and you can use it either as an umbrella term or a micro label- please investigate more if you feel like it! It's a very interesting topic and you can learn a lot!). Being asexual doesn't equal to being aromantic: an asexual can still feel romantic attraction. Also, asexuality looks different for everybody- some aces may be okay with kissing but not sex, for example. This Reader isn't okay with either. I hope you enjoy the fic! Happy Ace Week!!

Okay, this was a very bad idea and you should have realized sooner.

In your defense, life this far from your hometown is… different. Lonely. In Hawkins, everyone knew everyone. You had a safety net all the time. Maybe you weren’t friends with everybody- but you were friendly with most, at least.

Here, on the other hand, you are alone. Big city, small-town girl… a sad combination. You’re barely learning how to survive. None of the skills you had acquired at home are useful here. For God’s sake, you can’t even bike to the store- you have to take the subway.

One good thing about the city, though, is the variety. When you first came here, the thing that seemed the most exiting was how open people were about themselves.

They’re just not that friendly, though. No in a deeper level, at least. They are, however, very active. Lots of parties, concerts, bars and nights out. The girls in your dorm are unable to sleep during the night, apparently.

And if you want to fit in with them, you have to at least attend a party once in a while.

That’s what brought you here. You start to question if it’s worth it, though, when Lindsay- redhead, loud, flirty Lindsay- grabs you by the waist and starts dragging you across the room. She’s nice, but she’s… different. She goes out with a different boy every Friday, and brings another one to her dorm room every Saturday. It’s really not your business, and it seems to make her happy, so you simply steer away from her business.

It's not that it bothers you. You just don’t get it. Well, not in practice. In theory, it makes sense. But when you picture yourself in her place… It’s uncomfortable. Weird. Foreign. You’re happy she’s happy this way- it’s just not for you.

She doesn’t feel the same way.

You see the circle of people too late, take too long to come up with an excuse; and before you can stop her, she’s announced you’re playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.

You’ve never taken part in things like this. Never wanted to. Now everyone is looking at you, and you’re just too uncomfortable to run away, even if what you want the most is to disappear. Lindsay goes over the rules. You look around for a way out. Maybe a fire alarm will be waiting for you.

That’s when you see him. A curious pair of puppy eyes, a wild mane of hair and an unmistakable rockstar vibe.

Eddie Munson.

This has to be a nightmare. You remember him from Hawkins High- how could you not? He was always so loud an opinionated, so funny and charming, so… So different from everyone else. It was hard not to notice him in the hallways, but that wasn’t the reason you were always looking for him. See, he had- still has, now that you’re face to face again- something that draws you to him. Something in his smile, in the way he moves his hands, so confident, so in display, like the world is a stage and he’s the main character.

And you’ve always felt like the audience, an external observer, the witness to other people’s stories.

Until now, that Eddie Munson is in the same city- the same party, the same room, the same group of people- as you, far away from the hellhole that is Hawkins. Until now, that he’s staring at you, just as surprised, but a little less terrified. Until now, that Eddie looks like he’s expecting something from you. You’re sure your clueless expression is what makes him smile shily and look down at the floor, where an empty beer bottle points straight at you.

Dread washes over you as people start to cheer. Eddie chuckles and stands up. Lindsay grabs you by the arm- who knew that a girl this petite could be so strong? – and drags you to an empty closet.

Only when the door slams behind you, muffling out the music and noise from the party, you realize what happened.

You’re alone, in the dark, with Eddie Munson.

Trapped in a tiny space for the next eternity (seven minutes). And he’s cute, taller than you remember, and he smells nice. And he’s probably expecting something from you. Something like a kiss. Or more.

And you, for the love of God, do not want a kiss. You want him to be pretty and funny and at a safe distance from you.

The silence is overwhelming, his breathing too close for your liking. That’s the only excuse you can find for what you blurt out next.

“I absolutely do not wanna kiss you!”

The silence turns heavier. You press your hands against your mouth, but it’s too late. Maybe it’s a good thing it’s dark in the tiny closet, because at least he can’t see your horrified face. You hear a scoff and what sound like his feet shuffling to the side.

“Of course you don’t. You’re way too out of my reach, yeah? Were you hoping to be paired up with one of those pretty boys?”

His voice is harsh.

You had seen him argue with Jason Carver before. You had seen him mad, frustrated and mocking. None of those times did he sound quite like this. Never had such an edge. If the lights were on, you worry you’d see a sparkle of hurt in his eyes.

Maybe that’s why you start to explain yourself, panic taking over.

“No! No, that’s… That’s not what I meant at all! I just do not wanna kiss!”

Eddie’s laugh is sarcastic and dark.

“Yeah, I figured that much. Well, guess what? I didn’t wanna kiss you either!”

He sounds angrier now. It’s easy to picture him with his arms crossed.

“Really?”

When the only reply is silence, you know you should have shut the hell up. Or at least you could have tried to not sound so relieved. You cringe.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant either. I-”

“Listen, I have no intention of kissing someone who doesn’t want to kiss me. So why don’t we just wait in silence until the time is up?”

You remember his frown when the jocks made fun of him at gym class. Eddie looked miserable half of the time at school. Now he’s left school, moved away from Hawkins, and you’re making him miserable all over again. Even if you really don’t mean to.

The guilt makes you start whispering.

“Anyone. Ever. I don’t want to kiss anyone. Not now. Certainly not any of them. It’s just that Lindsay forced me to play! I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. Trust me, Eddie, if I wanted to be locked in a tiny closet with any guy at this party it would be you, but I don’t! I just really, really don’t want a kiss- I don’t want anyone to touch me, actually… I’m sorry- I bet you wanted to have fun here and I ended up ruining your chance. Listen, I’ll just walk out of here and tell them I feel sick or something, and they’ll have to give you another chance-”

Before you get the chance to embarrass yourself further, Eddie interrupts you.

“Hey, hey, wait a second there.”

You can feel his eyes on you. That’s the only thing that stops you from yapping to death. You wait, but he takes too long to speak.

“I’m sorry if you thought-”

“I never wanted to make you uncomfortable!”

He cuts your apology short yet again.

“I just thought… I recognized you. From Hawkins. Class of ’89, right? I remember you. I just…”

Eddie clears his throat. You take a deep breath because he sounds softer now. He starts talking again and it’s like listening to a cartoon character- fast and disorganized. Cute.

“I just… I thought you were kinda pretty- back then! You were always smiling, and you used to carry around some of my favorite books. I- it’s not like I like you, I… It’s-it’s been a long time, and… I saw you in here. And you look just as beautiful, you know? I’m never lucky like this. Then the bottle landed on you- I thought I had a chance, after all the years of pini- It’s okay, though, I understand! I bet you have better things to worry about, huh? I bet you’re busy publishing novels or something, right? I remember your poem, the one you read on the talent show- I really liked it!”

Somewhere between pretty and beautiful, Eddie started leaning against the wall. His shoulder is warm against yours. You really don’t mean to, but a giggle escapes you.

“Oh, and now it’s me who can’t shut up. I really should have learned by now. I always end up getting in trouble like this. Do you think I could finish all the oxygen here if I keep talking? I could die of suffocation. That would save me the embarrassment of having to see your face when your friend opens the door. Would you do me a favor and forget any of this happened? I really don’t want you to remember how much of a loser I am...”

You’re laughing now. Eddie’s head thumps against the wall next to you and you decide to stop him.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no way. I don’t think I can forget how you think I’m pretty and beautiful…”

Eddie is groaning, and probably shaking his head too- his hair tickles the side of your arm.

“Also, if you died of suffocation now you wouldn’t know that I thought you were pretty too. Back then, I mean. Oh, and you were never a loser. I always thought you were very smart- with all the ways you found to get back at Carver and his clique. Also, it’d be a shame to deprive the world of your music! I remember you at the talent show too.”

His voice sounds muffled. Is he hiding his face in his hands?

“Stop making fun of me!”

It’s not an accusation. It’s whinier and more playful. It helps you relax a little.

“Are you kidding? I’d never make fun of you! I’ve actually always liked you, Eddie.”

You’d swear his breath just hitched.

“Are you serious?”

Lucky you, the darkness won’t let him see the way you’re blushing. You shrug, trying to look nonchalant even if he doesn’t see you.

“Well, yeah.”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“Listen, I think we started with the wrong foot here. Why don’t we… Would you like to… I don’t know, maybe sometime we could-”

A beam of blinding light and awfully loud music interrupts him.

Oh, God.

“Time’s up, lovebirds! Ooh, look at you! Girl, you’re red as a cherry! What were you guys up to, all cozy in here?”

Lindsay is smiling at you, and you want to disappear again. You don’t dare take a look at Eddie; you just push past her, out into the party. You just want to get away. You need to get out of this house; out of the city, maybe- run away from the stupidity.

Stupid Lindsay.

Stupid game.

Stupid kisses.

Stupid expectations.

Stupid yo-

Someone takes a hold of your wrist and brings your escape to an end. Shit.

“Hey, hold on! Wait up!”

You really don’t want to turn around. You really, really don’t want to see his round, starry eyes up this close. You really, really, really don’t want to know how far you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of Eddie. No, you want to pretend you never saw him here. No, the last time you saw Eddie Munson was graduation. He was happy, had that stupidly cute smile of his, and then you never heard anything from him-

“Hey, I’m sorry- oh, God, you said you didn’t want to be touched. I’m sorry!”

He lets go of your wrist as if it was hurting him. His voice is a little too loud now that you’re out of the house. But it’s still gentle and nervous. You take a deep breath and turn around. At least you can’t make this worse, can you?

“I didn’t mean it that way, Eddie.”

“You didn’t…? Oh! Oh, no, you didn’t! No, I see, I- I know. Okay!”

Eddie closes his eyes and scrunches his nose, his head falling backwards. It’s a cute face, even if he looks completely humiliated right now. Something that makes no sense to you.

“Listen, I… Would you like to hang out sometime?”

It’s a simple question. That doesn’t stop you from blinking three times before replying with another question.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Eddie’s eyes open like a cartoon character’s.

“Shit! You don’t do that either? I’m really sorry. Fuck, I’m an asshole, and I should leave you alone. I’m so sorry. I promise you’ll never see me again…!”

In his rush to give you space, he ends up tripping over his own feet and falling on his ass. You try to catch him by the arm, but he’s too heavy and you end up falling too.

It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

A laugh makes its way out of your chest and it’s impossible to stop it.

“Oh, God…! Are you… okay, Eddie?”

He’s staring at you as if you were crazy. Fair, because you probably are.

“I didn’t mean to laugh,” but you’re still laughing, “I’m sorry. I guess we’re both sorry, huh?”

The giggles keep coming out.

“Yes… I’d like to hang out sometime.”

His head snaps to you.

“Really?”

You do your best to get the laugh under control.

“Really.”

“Okay, then.”

Now he’s taking your hand and lifting you to your feet. It’s a simple movement, fast and soft; but not faster than your ability to blush. At least you’re not laughing anymore. Eddie is closer now than he was in the closet, his chin a couple inches away from your eyes. He smells like wood and blankets: warm and cozy. It’s easy to forget the party behind you, the loud music and cold air disappearing into his eyes.

“So… No kisses, then? Of any kind? Or is it like touching?”

You find yourself whispering too.

“Just no kisses on the mouth.”

“Great.”

Suddenly, coming to this stupid party doesn’t seem that terrible of an idea, because Eddie Munson is kissing your forehead. And it’s ridiculous, silly and amazing. He’s also blushing, eyes crinkling at the sides and a round, shy smile reflecting yours.

“Just so you know, that counts as our first kiss.”

“First? That implies more than one. Someone’s very confident.”

“Well, the night is young and you look like you have some time to spare. What do you say we get out of here? I could introduce you to the best milkshakes in the city.”

“…I’d actually love that.”

This time it’s you who grabs his hand. Eddie grins, and he looks just like the boy who stood on tables back at Hawkins High: young, brave, ready for adventure.

“I shall show thee the path, milady.”

He bows and you laugh. Walking away from the party and the rest of the world is easy. Comfortable. Natural. The way heaven must feel like, if you had to describe it.

[20001541]

There's a small theory that I've had for a while but recently felt more validated after seeing what Hori said on the popularity poll livestream

The thing he said being this:

Which is interesting because we all know he infamously said back in 2018 that he planned on revealing Hisashi at some point in the story. Which as we know today never happens. So, it leaves us with the question, what happened?

Because in order for him to say this he must've had something in mind at the time for what he wanted to do with Hisashi. The first time we learn his name is in the BNHA Ultra Archive book that came out in 2016. Never officially translated into English btw so this is all we got.

Anyways this means he had something in mind for Hisashi for a while then, but then he changed his mind and kept him out of the story. He feels he put everyone and he wanted to put in the story and wouldn't change anything.

My theory is that he might've planned to make DFO a thing initially but decided it would be best if the story goes a different route and kept it out.

Because why else would you say you plan to reveal who is Hisashi is at some point only for your story to end with no sight of him? Not even a tiny mention. Let us not also forget how people pointed out that Inko's birthday 07/04 spells out nana shi in Japanese which is like Nana's name. It's also canon that All Might pointed out how her hair reminds him of Nana. So I wonder if he also planned on her being Nana's daughter and had AFO target her as a result. This was also something I found to be rumored among some Japanese fan forums. Even though the translations I got weren't great the little I could understand suggested it.

And even though I lost interest in DFO and stopped believing before the story ended this one panel has always stuck out to me.

Hori is insanely detailed oriented, like during Dabi's first appearance he's in front of a hair salon which foreshadowed that the hair colour he has now isn't his real one and was used as proof in Dabi is a Todoroki theory. So the fact that Hori chose to place the "my only family" bubble over a shot where Izuku is watching everything unfold stands out to me even now. Keep in mind this chapter released in 2018 which was the same year Hori said he planned to reveal Hisashi. Maybe could be me reaching, but still something to consider.

I'm not entirely sure of all of this actually and could be wrong. But it's an interesting theory as to what could've happened behind the scenes.

Another theory that I'm less sure of but can see it being possible is that the elements of the reveal he intended for DFO ended up being used for the reveal with Tomura.

Think about. It's actually crazy how similar the Tomura reveal in 419 was similar to what a lot of DFO fans were hoping for all these years.

AFO took on a whole new identity to get close to a civilian, he helped build the home Tomura would live in, played a part in Tomura's conception, he took away his original quirk, set Tomura up as a successor, and AFO had a big reveal moment that left Tomura devastated... like I remember several posts that theorized things like this about Izuku. The reason why AFO targeted Kotaro in the first place was because he was Nana's son and I remember that Inko being targeted for being Nana's daughter was a big part of the Inko Shimura theory.

I don't know for sure if this reveal was built off of his ideas for a DFO reveal he had initially planned. Really it depends on when he first created the idea of AFO being behind all the terrible things in Tomura's life and if he even had DFO in mind in the first place at some point.

But it's fascinating either way. Either DFO fans were right in how they interpreted some aspects of the story to suggest DFO were true and correctly guessed some aspects of the story that were recycled for a different reveal later on, or they were completely off the mark and by coincidence some of their theories for DFO ended up being eerily similar to how the 419 reveal ended up being.

[witchofthemidlands]

i know, i know realistically that because tales of the tardis is making it's return that “the one who waits” or whatever “the big bad” is that shall be giving the doctor & UNIT grief in the finale will probably be that villain from the pyramid serial that was, in fact, the first proper classic who serial i ever saw because it was on the sarah jane adventures dvd but up until the new tales of the tardis instalment was announced, i was so deep in the theory that this is all leading up to the trickster's greatest comeback of all time: ruby is an element of the pantheon & seeing as i've clowned too close to the sun i'm unleashing the insanity that's been occurring in my brain since “the devil's chord”

so basically the doctor said 8 words about maestro & i haven't been sane since.

“that thing must be part of the pantheon”

that was it for me then, i was CONVINCED that this might be leading up to have something to do with the trickster because in “the wedding of sarah jane smith” the doctor & the trickster/the pantheon talk about how they heard about one another through legend:

& from the spreading of the salt this era of doctor who has been all about myths & legends breaking their way through into the universe & the first half of the finale is titled “the legend of ruby sunday”

THEN maestro attacked ruby & the music played from within ruby is VERY similar to the score played in “whatever happened to sarah jane smith” when sarah jane was giving maria the puzzle box which protected her (& then later alan) from the trickster's power & this was the first time the trickster ever came into the whonivese & whilst i thought i was reaching here, i was CLEARLY not the only one who thought that the score progression sounded similar.

https://youtu.be/ARVTQ91P5RE?si=_TD41qhQ_PbQ-8kp

after “the devil's chord” i didn't want to say anything because i thought i was going to sound absolutely crackers but it was simmering, the thoughts that whatever ruby is COULD be connected to the trickster or the pantheon. honestly even if it turns out to be nothing to do with the trickster themself but just another element of the pantheon that's at play & what everything is leading up to, i'd consider that a win.

the full downward spiral into madness began after i witnessed the horror that was “73 yards” which both scared me for life & after like no doctor who episode has done in a VERY long time because not only was i actually scared of ruby sunday & was thinking WHAT IS THIS BEING but it also unleashed this:

deep down, my rational brain KNOWS it's not what my unhinged brain thought it were but in fact what it literally was which was a story filled with elements of welsh folklore BUT my brain said:

to my brain, “73 yards” reminded me of the doctor in “turn left” saying:

and whilst i was in my post 73 yards state of horror/being genuinely afraid of what ruby was there's was two options my brain was throwing out:

1) ruby could be one of the pantheon/the trickster’s brigade she's one of the changelings like the time beetle because life WAS changed in tiny little ways & this was literally probably one of ruby's worst case scenario: that everyone would leave & she'd be alone all her life & her fears manifested in her potential trickster/changeling power & made a whole new reality for her that she enabled herself to stop. it was all just her & the extent of her powers which could be used for very bad.

2) and this is the one that i latched onto like a person deranged:

ruby is a creation of the trickster, the trickster is “the one who waits” because the trickster has been “waiting” for a way to break into the universe & then i just went wild with this theory of mine because of the sarah jane adventures.

in the (devastating) final season of the sarah jane adventures, sky smith was left on the doorstep of sarah jane's house when she was a baby, similarly to how ruby is left on the threshold of the church on ruby road. now that's a reach, yes but HAD the sarah jane adventures series 5 finished the way it was intended to be finished, sky smith would have turned out to be the trickster's child in an finale called “the battle of bannerman road” & her trickster powers would have been awakened by the trickster. sarah jane would apparently have been considering this to be true because she'd gotten jo jones to research “trickster myths” sky would have returned to herself but would have evolved into an entity that would banish the trickster from reality & guard him in a prison forever:

The Battle of Bannerman Road (unproduced TV story) | Tardis | Fandom

honestly i started to imagine that a similar situation could happen with ruby because this story was ultimately never made & whilst i am probably clowning to the highest degree here, i thought about jo & clyde's segment of “tales of the tardis” & how clyde's story is left open ended as if it could possibly be continued & what better way to continue clyde & rani's story then to bring them back during a potential battle with the trickster? there is also the fact that the other unnamed episodes of the sarah jane adventures WERE actually made into stories for a fantastic show called “wizards vs aliens” specifically, “the thirteenth floor”

so perhaps rtd could be using the bare bones of “the battle of bannerman road” for the conclusion to the mystery of ruby sunday.

as i said, i went rather deranged with this one & it's probably going to be the greatest comeback for sutekh, who will probably turn out to be “the one who waits” possibly the head of the pantheon & the creator of ruby but my brain has decided to throw one more twist:

✨sutekh x the trickster✨

i'm kinda glad that this will all be over soon so i can be proved wrong & can enjoy a peaceful state of mind again, finally set free from my trickster theory 😅

[thedrarrylibrarian]

hi!! I first off wanted to say THANK YOUU!! I came across your page abt two months ago when I needed new fics and I use your recs so often!! I was wondering, what are a few of your all-time favorite fics, if you had to choose? (:

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad to hear that you've been enjoying my blog! I can't believe I've been running this blog for 3 years today!

What a fun ask (I've been sitting on this so I could use it for today!) I really struggled to pick fics - or more accurately, not to pick ALL the fics! I picked fics that are my go to rereads - whether it's because they make me laugh or because they pull at my heartstrings, or because they're so hot, these are some of my personal favorites.

Cupboard Love by @shealwaysreads (4,184 words, rated G)

Cupboard Love: the psychoanalytic theory of an infant’s primary drive being food which, when satisfied, leads naturally to a secondary drive for attachment.

Harry’s life, and love, in food.

Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass (4,899 words, rated G)

Harry is up to something. Why else would he keep giving Draco presents?

Five Little Things by @bixgirl1 (6,197 words, rated T)

Harry was supposed to be good at this.

Headway by orphan_account (7,482 words, rated M)

“It’s called courting,” Draco spat suddenly, livid and red in the face. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand a single thing about it, actually Potter, since it’s formal, and there are rules, and neither of those are concepts you’d know anything about even if they took on human form and kicked you right in the fucking dick.”

The Exhale by spqr (7,506 words, rated T)

Hermione makes a soft, concerned sound. "Harry, look at this." She shows him an article with a photo, but the photo's not moving; it must be a Muggle newspaper. "NASA have just landed a rover on Mars. It's called Curiosity, and look, this is so--I don't know if it's sweet or sad, but--it's all alone out there, and they programmed it to sing itself Happy Birthday."

Nothing is wrong, but Harry starts crying.

Silverpoint by @tackytigerfic (8,836 words, rated E)

It seems fairly simple to you, but you know that you don't really understand love - how could you, after all? You've never known how to talk about it, but you've never had to before. Everyone you ended up loving has always understood. You've been able to show them, by fighting for them, dying for them.

That seems a bit much- after all, Malfoy just wants tea in bed and his cock in your mouth (not usually at the same time).

It's ok to love him, you reason with yourself - he doesn't have to know. No one ever has to know.

Quick as a Flash of Lightning, Unhurried as Eternity by @onbeinganangel and @babooshkart (10,000 words, rated E)

Can you fall in love with someone by simply watching them fiercely love another version of yourself?

The Way These Days Seem to Go (And Go) by @firethesound (15,230 words, rated T)

Stress baking isn’t a hobby Harry ever thought he’d pick up, but he’s surprised to find how much it helps him to get through those long months post-war. It keeps his hands busy, it keeps his mind occupied, and when Draco Malfoy steadily pushes his way back into Harry's life, it helps with that too.

Let him lead me to the banquet by @harryromper (16,066 words, rated T)

The worst part is Harry’s got no idea why Malfoy keeps sending him invites. He’s never replied to a single one. And if the whole dinner is as exclusive and sought-after as the Prophet keeps breathlessly reporting, then presumably the only reason Malfoy wants him there is in his capacity as the Chosen One. So, really, he can fuck right off. Harry doesn’t care about Draco Malfoy’s redemption tour. And he’s certainly not going to help him with it.

Draco Malfoy Absolutely Does Not Need to Be Loved by Harry Bloody Potter by @nv-md (18,153 words, rated E)

It’s not easy to be bonded to your childhood rival, turned fuckbuddy, who you also have extremely uncomfortable but repressed feelings for—just ask Draco Malfoy.

When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way to Burn) by @femmequixotic (22,167 words, rated E)

A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough.

In the dark, the light by phrynne (32,203 words, rated E)

‘Potter… It’s Malfoy. Do you still want this?’ It started like that. Malfoy’s breath on his ear, his voice low, hot against his skin. Harry shivered, though he could feel the heat from Malfoy’s body just behind him, too close, but not touching him. Even if he could. For the rest of the night, he could do whatever the hell he wanted with Harry.

Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (36,733 words, rated E)

According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot.

Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Boiling Point by @goldentruth813 (42,882 words, rated M)

After an Auror raid gone wrong, Draco ends up trapped in a dodgy safehouse with nothing but Harry Potter’s dubious company and a dwindling supply of food. With only each other and the walls surrounding them, they're forced to confront their past and their feelings which have long been threatening to boil over.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (103,395 words, rated T)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Grounds for Divorce by @tepre (122,217 words, rated E)

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter.

A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

What We Pretend We Can't See by @gyzym (131,086 words, rated M)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Love forever,

The Drarry Librarian

[yolatirra]

Some Thoughts about Arcane Season 2, Especially Relating to Potential Time Travel

Pt 1: Isha

I think Isha has something to do with Ekko and time travel.

Something that keeps nagging at me about Isha is that we don't actually know anything about her. She showed up in S2E2 running from some guys and then literally dropped into Jinx's lap. We still don't know why she was running from them. We don't know where she came from. We have no idea who she is.

One analysis videos I watched, which I've now sadly lost track of, pointed out that there are a TON of Firelights symbols in that scene.

With this in mind, I combed through the entire six episodes of Acts 1 & 2, looking for any other green hourglasses. I didn't find them anywhere else. To be fair, I combed through the season pretty quickly, so I may have missed them. If I did, please point them out to me! But if I'm right that this is the only place we see them, that's VERY WEIRD and VERY INTENTIONAL.

Someone in a different analysis video also pointed out that Isha has some oddly fancy aspects to her outfit.

This could definitely be nothing, but something about that pattern on her vest seems out of place. Almost more like something you'd seen in Piltover than in Zaun.

My theory is that Isha was sent to this point in time by Ekko and we're going to see what led up to this moment in Act 3. Isha might be dead (I'm still sobbing about it), but we're going to learn more about her.

Will she stay dead? Honestly yeah, I think so.

I think that the version of events we're seeing is the version where time has already been changed, and I'm going to get into that more later.

Pt 2: The Letter

Actually I lied above about not finding any other green hourglasses in season 2. I found one more, in the scene where Jinx is reading Vander's letter to Silco in S2E5.

Note that this ISN'T the Firelights symbol. But it is definitely a green hourglass. Also note the gear in the center, which has been a recurring symbol this season that seems to have something to do with time.

This has to mean something, right? But I don't know what.

Pt 3: Gears-As-Clocks

There is one really notable instance of this. I really wish I had a GIF of this scene, but I don't know how to make GIFs and I don't feel like learning just for this, but here's a sequence of screenshots that hopefully show you what I mean.

Jinx turns clockwise, which transitions into the gear on Jayce's hammer also turning clockwise. Like a clock. The gear is a clock. Going forward in time.

And what shot do we get immediately after this?

Jayce is going forward in time.

I suspect there might be other instances of gears turning clockwise to symbolize a clock, but I've already spent too long on this post so if anyone finds another example, please share. Still, even if this is the only instance, it recontextualizes all gears in this season to be time-related.

Pt 4: Fortune Cookie

I kept wondering why Jinx calls Viktor a fortune cookie. I do think there are multiple parts to this and I'm missing some of it. Something about a cookie being sweet and Viktor being sweet? I dunno, I'm missing part of what this comparison means.

HOWEVER. Why a FORTUNE cookie, and not just any cookie?

Fortune cookies predict the future, but in silly, little ways that don't really mean anything. Maybe Viktor can see the future, but only glimpses. Tiny things that don't actually allow him to do anything about it.

Fortune cookies also hide their fortune inside a bland, mildly sweet cookie, and you have to break the cookie to get the fortune out...

OKAY WAIT I was gonna say I don't know what that means, but uh... you have to break the cookie to get the fortune.

You have to break Viktor to find the future.

Pt 5: Fate

I've rewatched Viktor's scenes several times, and I kept wondering why Viktor asks Singed whether he believes in fate. It seems to come out of nowhere.

My theory at this point in that Viktor knows something is manipulating events, but he can't see specifics. He just knows there is some invisible force guiding events, and maybe, he's wondering if Singed knows about it.

Pt 6: Singed's Plan

What is Singed's plan in Act 2?

He goes to the undercity rally and clearly wants to be arrested. He comes prepared with a knife and slits his hand, so he will leave a blood trail. He wants to be taken to prison, and he wants Warwick to follow him there.

When we see Singed in the prison, in the scene where Jinx finds Isha, he has the door to his cell partially open.

He could have left before that, but he wants to be there. Then the lights start flickering and he closes the door again, to protect him from Warwick.

When Caitlyn walks through the prison in S2E5, he's STILL THERE. The door is unlocked. He could have left after Warwick did. But he stayed.

He stays so he can talk to Ambessa. When Ambessa comes to see him alone in prison, the first thing he says is "I've been expecting you."

He wanted to show Ambessa what he was capable of (Warwick) so that Ambessa would hire him. And that's exactly what she does.

And what does he do? He convinces Ambessa they can use Warwick, and then tracks Warwick to Viktor's commune.

Now, there are some things worth mentioning. First, Singed likely didn't expect Jinx to be at the prison, and didn't expect Jinx to awaken Vander within Warwick. However, Jinx's presence didn't disrupt his plan to get Ambessa's attention. His plan remained intact.

Second, he wouldn't have had any way of predicting that Warwick would up in Victor's commune, but I suspect this is a happy coincidence for him. I'm guessing he wanted to use Ambessa to recapture Warwick, and then was planning to convince her that Viktor would also be useful.

We know from the scene early on in S2E4 where Ambessa is conducting hextec experiements that she wished she had captured the "scientists" aka Jayce and Viktor. Singed likely knew about Viktor's commune, just because word about it had been spreading around Zaun, and even to Piltover (Lest mentions Viktor to Salo), and we know Singed suspected that the Herald was Viktor.

Ambessa would have wanted to invade the commune to capture Viktor, even if Warwick hadn't been there.

But, it turns out, he is, so that allows Singed and Ambessa to capture two experimental subjects with one invasion. Singed wants to get in there, capture both Warwick and Viktor, and combine them into a perfect being. This is his ultimate goal on the path to "curing death".

Which leads us to my final topic.

Pt 7: Jayce

What is the thing no one expects in Act 2?

Jayce killing Viktor. This was not a part of Singed's plan. Jayce kills Viktor before Singed can get to him, and THAT is why killing Viktor was necessary.

So, I have a couple of theories of where things go from here regarding Viktor.

Option 1: While this didn't prevent Singed from getting ahold of Viktor, it did damage Viktor in some way that prevents him from being used the way Singed intended. Whatever Singed would have done with Viktor is now impossible, and the future isn't as bad as the one Jayce saw.

Option 2: Viktor is actually, fully dead, and the hints of him we see in the Act 3 preview are actually scenes from the future that Jayce saw and has now prevented. Viktor could still come back in some way in the main timeline, but... I honestly do think there's a chance that he's actually just dead, and we'll only see alternate timeline versions of him in Act 3.

Okay, I think that's everything. Sorry to end on a depressing note but uh... Arcane, right? It's good. It's really good.

I do hope Viktor isn't dead though, even if he comes back even more wrong than before.

[foreverautumn89]

Every clue that Lonnie was abusive Pt 3

There is a couple of points of abuse in here kind of all wrapped together: Jonathan says Will is really good at hiding. So good at hiding that even the police couldn't find him so Jonathan thinks. Police who are trained to find hidden things.

Jonathan thinks they won't be able to find him. Although theres more to this one hold up so…either way you frame this I dont know whcih one is the truth or if both are true but either way it confirms Lonnie is abusive: Why is Will so good at hiding? Another clue. Well Will got so good at hiding because Will and Jonathan would have to hide from Lonnie and when Jonathan was fighting Lonnie off and protecting Will, Will would go and hide and would have to hide often. So much that he got so good at it.

And/or Jonathan was again making up an excuse that the cops wouldn't be able to find Will's body and Lonnie was good at covering up his bad behavior and what type of person he is [we know this to be true given the funeral scene] and Jonathan would know where to look first where Lonnie possibly hid the evidence so Lonnie couldn't get away with it. He also would know if Lonnie was lying to the cops which is why Jonathan wanted to be there to hear what Lonnie had to say and Jonathan didn't trust the cops he was so used to Lonnie talking his way out of things with everyone and always just getting away with everything. Either way it confirms the abuse and the fact that a certain someone was ignoring the abuse and making up excuses for Lonnie.

------------------------------

Hopper refuses to let Jonathan go and tells him so. ''Yeah well cops are good at finding. Stay here with your mom she needs you." Again, I'm not sure if Hopper is competely aware of the abuse or hes strongly suspecting it. Its never clear.

In this part Hopper was either testing his theory to see Jonathan's reaction to figure out if Jonathan was being abused OR he did this because thats just Hopper being stern with him. But either way, Jonathan's reaction is what gives it away that he was abused. Hopper grabs Jonathan by the shoulders and Jonathan looks frozen and scared because usually when hes grabbed by an older man what came after was what Lonnie did to him. Then Hopper gives him a punch on the arm to see his reaction. If Hopper was trying to figure out if his theory was correct-Jonathan's reaction to all of that just proved it [and notice he continues to hunt down Lonnie] If Hopper knew Jonathan was being abused already and didn't need to test it, than that was just Hopper being stern with him and the little 'man to man' punch on the arm was intended to be a manly sorry about grabbing you way.

Really what I think was happening was Hopper grabbing him so aggressively was not what was intended, that just shows how scared Hopper was of Jonathan going there to see Lonnie. He was so scared he grabbed Jonathan because he was that terrified of another kid getting lost. and the pucn on the arm was to a manly thing to say sorry about grabbing you in alarm, buddy. Didn't mean to.' But even this way shows how scared Hopper is by the thought of Jonathan being around Lonnie. So either way you interpret that situation, it all points to abuse.

Jonathan disobeys Hopper and goes to Lonnie's house anyway to look for Will BY HIMSELF since Hopper wouldn't let him go, Jonathan is going to save Will from that monster one way or another. And it shows that Jonathan doesn't trust the police/any authority figure to do their job because hes so used to that happening. Again going back to everything I said in the previous posts about why that is.

--------------------------

On the drive to Lonnies, Jonathan remembers him and Will listening to should I say or should I go and the relevant bit to this discussion is Will saying 'Idk its fun to go with him [Lonnie] sometimes'. The ppl claiming that Jonathan and Will were never abused always try to bring this up to debunk the Jonathan and Will were abused 'theory'. But it actually does the OPPOSITE.

Usually abuse victims have something called 'stolkholm syndrome' where someone loves their abuser and wants their approval. And this happens often with abusive parents and thier children. Because you're taught that you should love your mom and dad no matter what. Even if they're mean to you sometimes they just want whats best for you. Society not realizing the problem with telling children this-or at least telling abused children this. The rest of the world teaches them that its wrong not forgive your parents mistakes. Its wrong to not love your parents. So Will and Jonathan don't want to be bad people and even naturally they loved their dad because he is their dad. He was the one that didn't care about them, it wasn't the other way around.

They went through what every child went through: Wanting to spend time with your father and be close to him and make him proud and to get his approval. It must have taken a lot for Jonathan to overcome that and ofc the fans don't appreciate this fact. That Jonathan had to learn and teach himself the right things and raise himself and then Will: That if you have to change everything you are for someone to love you then they don't really love you [like what they went through with Lonnie]. If they really loved you they wouldnt want to change you, they'd love you for who you are. This also applies to Jonathan's issue with the Hawkins townspeople because they also believe that you should change everything you are to be accepted/popular/fit in. And ofc the fans also think Jonathan is disgusting for this and paint it as him 'thinking hes better than everyone''.

When really its just that Jonathan believes that you should be loved for who you truly are, not be somebody elses idea of perfect to be loved. Jonathan believes and had to learn the hard way that you should love and accept yourself for who you truly are and real love is when someone loves you for who you truly are. Like how he and Will love and accept each other and in this scene Jonathan even tells encourages Will to stop pleasing Lonnie ext and Jonathan shows that he loves Will for who he truly is.

That will doesn't have to pretend to be someone hes not with Lonnie to receive a fake version of love for him, when Will has someone who loves him as is always by his side [Jonathan]. And Jonathan even proves it to the audience that he means this when he asks Will again So you like this [the song] for real? Will nodded and smiled 'For real' and they danced to the song together. It was showing us that Jonathan was making sure that Will wasn't just saying he liked the song because Jonathan liked it and Will thought that was what J wanted to hear. He was making sure Will liked it because he really liked it, not to get someone elses approval.

[mumms-the-word]

Illithid Souls - Part 2

The Case Studies: Tav/Durge and Orpheus

In Part 1, I went over some of the basics of what a soul normally is, where souls go after death, and whether mind flayers have souls. I ultimately ended up saying that most humanoids have apostolic souls (souls that deities recognize as being capable of divine worship), while mind flayers have some other kind of soul, one that isn't recognizable by deities or devils. This is why Jergal and Mystra and so on think that illithid don’t have souls. When a humanoid with an apostolic soul turns into a mind flayer, their soul is either ejected and moves on to the Fugue Plane, or their soul is transformed into a non-apostolic soul (depending on what you want to believe).

But the problem is, that's normal lore, and BG3 has made things a little strange by imbuing all the tadpoles that infect our characters with Netherese magic. And that, friends, makes the BG3 mind flayers different.

This post is going to look at some interesting context from the game for the Emperor, Tav/Durge and Orpheus. (It got pretty long so I'm moving Karlach and Gale to a third post.) We're going to figure out whether the rules about mind flayers and souls change now that there's Netherese magic involved. The ultimate answer is yes, but how? And is it consistent?

(Spoiler: it isn't, but you can use this lore to come up with your own theories and ideas)

Let's take another deep dive! Buckle up, and don't worry, I have a short summary at the bottom.

The Case of the Emperor

I'm actually not going to linger too long on the Emperor because for many reasons he breaks the lore. If he's Balduran and a mind flayer, he shouldn't have lived as long as he says he's lived. Not only that, his memory is allegedly flawless when the lore states he shouldn't remember any of his previous life (there are other inconsistencies too, but that's a different post). However, I do want to touch on a couple of things.

The Emperor both is and isn't our baseline for how a mind flayer normally exists. He should be a normal lore-accurate mind flayer (though a rogue one), because he wasn't infected with a Netherese-touched tadpole. But he's a Special Mind Flayer instead, for reasons we don't entirely understand (again, he generally breaks the lore). Perhaps this is because of his brush with Gortash and the other Chosen of the Dead Three, or perhaps he just somehow has a strong enough personality that when he broke free of an elder brain's compulsion a lot of his memories came back to him. Who knows?

But regardless, a few conversations with him reinforce the idea that mind flayers typically aren't completely soulless. At the very least, they still contain memories (he has his memories of his time as Balduran), intelligence (he's a schemer, that's for sure), and personality/emotions:

Emperor: You think that mind flayers are soulless husks who feel nothing. Belynne thought the same at first. You are wrong. Feeling is vital to the pursuit of anyone's goals. Even a mind flayer's. Like you, mind flayers know fear. Like you, we crave recognition. But unlike you, unlike the others of my kind, I am no slave to either. My end is and has always been freedom.

We can quibble about whether or not he's manipulating the player here, but his words are generally true. As discussed in part 1, mind flayers are not soulless husks. When they're enthralled, they might be more devoid of independent thinking, but they have emotions/feelings and can create memories. They just might have a smaller range of emotion than humanoids do (thus his reference to "not being a slave" to fear or desire) and their memories might not be entirely their own (more on that with Karlach in part 3).

Regardless, the Emperor is our leading authority for what it's like to be a mind flayer, so we're sort of forced to trust him when we ask him to explain what full ceremorphosis is about to do to us, especially because its his Supreme Tadpole that is about to change us.

Player: What would happen to me? Emperor: You would be altered in mind, body, and soul beyond all recognition.

So this is interesting. Altered in mind and body, that's a given. Altered in soul, though...what does that mean?

Remember in Part 1 where I offered two theories about what happens to the original soul of someone undergoing ceremorphosis? Theory 1: they just die and the soul moves on to the Fugue Plane, and the mind flayer gets a new illithid soul from...somewhere. Theory 2: The soul transforms and remains tethered to the mind flayer body, different than it was before (potentially unrecognizable as the original soul, but some elements of the original may remain).

The Emperor's words suggest more of theory 2 here. But is that, in fact, what happens when we become illithid? Well...let's find out.

The Case of Tav and Durge (or most Origin runs)

When you do turn into a mind flayer, the narrative typically focuses on how powerful you feel. Your mind and body feel as though they are one and you are also desperately hungry. There isn't much in the Narrator's dialogue or your dialogue with your friends to suggest that your soul has been completely obliterated, though.

In fact, there's an interesting moment that happens if you turn into a mind flayer without the Emperor there and go up to Orpheus still in his cage. The way I accomplished this was to ask to change into a mind flayer so the Emperor would give me the Supreme Tadpole, then I said I would change later, then stopped the Emperor from consuming Orpheus so he would leave. Then I used the Supreme Tadpole to turn into a mind flayer and went to examine Orpheus.

Narrator: *His eyes are unseeing, his voice silenced. But even with his mind caged, you can feel his power. You can almost taste the fluid beneath his scalp, cushioning that sweet, dense brain, and the power within it. You are hungry.* Lae'zel: I see that look, I know that look. Don't you dare. Player: [Wisdom Check] Cling to your former nature. Quash your hunger. This is not who you are. Narrator: *Your mind and body whine with disappointment. But your soul lets out a gentle thrum of relief.*

I find this fascinating for a couple of reasons. One, the check I chose (there are two, the second is a strength check) meant reaching out to a "former" nature and reminding myself (or my Tav's self) that this is not who she is. When I succeeded, my Tav's mind and body protested, but her soul was filled with relief.

So she has a soul! And it seems to be her own soul, but perhaps transformed. So this sort of supports theory 2, that perhaps when humanoids turn into mind flayers, their soul is altered. This could also just be a quirk specific to those infected with a Netherese tadpole, or even further, someone who transformed using the Emperor's Supreme Tadpole.

Because here's the thing. When Tav/Durge, Orpheus, Companion!Karlach, or any Origin character transforms into a mind flayer using the Supreme Tadpole, they become a special mind flayer. This is mostly due to the Netherese magic, which adds some weird and undefined changes to the whole mind flayer thing. I'm going to use "I guess it's the Netherese magic/Supreme Tadpole" as a scapegoat this entire post because I don't know what else to point to to explain how these guys are just Different Than Your Average Mind Flayer, so be prepared for that. But at the very least, we know something's different.

In fact the Narrator literally says you're probably different than the average mind flayer after you defeat the Netherbrain!

Narrator: *You are a mind flayer, the very thing you sought to eradicate. Whatever self you still possess is quickly ebbing away. Your friends and enemies alike are ripe for manipulation, and if not manipulation, then consumption. Soon you will be able to trust yourself at all. You will be a monstrosity beyond redemption. Or not. Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like the Emperor. The risk is certainly yours to take - will you?*

Unlike normal mind flayers who lose most of their memories (and allegedly most of their personality/former selves) almost immediately after transforming, it takes Tav/Durge/most Origins longer to lose that sense of self, if indeed they lose it at all. The Narrator suggests we might be losing parts of ourselves, but there's a chance we're unique and might retain our sense of selves.

We do see glimpses of us retaining our personalities in the epilogue of course, but what is more interesting is if you decide to imprison yourself post-ceremorphosis. Withers will visit you in prison for a final conversation. (This conversation shifts a little if you're a Durge, but here is the Tav conversation.)

Withers: Thou remainest in thy chains. A hero, sacrificed. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet...something glimmerest about thee. Something is not lost. Dost thou feel it? The spark of the divine within thee? Or does thy hunger consume thee? Player: [Option 1] I'm still myself. I don't know if I belong here. Player: [Option 2] I feel the hunger. But I feel myself, too. I'm not sure which to trust. Player: [Option 3] Have you come to torment me with hypotheticals, old friend? Player: [Option 4] Does it matter? This is my life now.

If you go with option 4, you hear Withers ponderingly say, "Thy life...yes..." before moving on to say that fate isn't done with you yet, which is his response to all the other options as well.

But the more important thing is that even Jergal recognizes a "spark of the divine" within you. Your soul should either be cast off and already wandering the Fugue Plane (if going with theory 1) or so completely transformed that it's no longer an apostolic soul that Jergal would be able to recognize as a god. Yet Jergal recognizes the soul within your mind flayer body as being...well, partly apostolic.

Interesting!

We get a similar dialogue if you sacrifice yourself as a mind flayer, too, though this is fascinating because now it's Withers literally finding your soul (still shaped like a mind flayer, which is interesting) somewhere that is...very gray. There's a suggestion that this might be in the Fugue Plane, or in some limbo state where souls sometimes end up, but regardless, Withers, the soul-finder himself, was able to track down your lingering soul.

Withers: Thou flickerest in the dark - but with mine keen eye, I hath scryed thee. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet thou seemest to have something of the spirit about thee. I cannot account for it. How delightful. Tell me, how doth it feel to roam about as thou art now, transformed? Player: [Option 1] Where am I? [mumm's note: he basically doesn't answer this question lol] Player: [Option 2] I still feel like myself. My memories, my feelings - all intact. Withers: No matter how many aeons I have roamed this world and beyond, I am ever-surprised by mysteries new and old.

Even Withers is surprised that the soul you have is something he not only recognizes as a soul, but as your soul. I love how amused and intrigued he sounds when he says "I cannot account for it. How delightful." He even smiles when he says it. He thinks you're super neat! And also a new phenomenon.

(As an aside, I wonder if you being mind-flayer-shaped but still recognizable as you is a hint that your soul did indeed transform to be illithid, but didn't fully transform into a non-apostolic soul like normal illithids would. Like, I wonder if your soul is now half-apostolic and just permanently mind-flayer-shaped. RIP. But this would explain why bringing you back via True Resurrection is kind of a nonviable option since you'd just come back as a mind flayer, and this is the ending where you took your own life to avoid being a mind flayer for forever, so I doubt you'd even want to come back if you couldn't come back to your original body. Things to ponder!)

Anyway, you having something that has glimpses, sparks, or hints of the divine/the spirit about you does tell us that as a mind flayer, your soul wasn't destroyed. It may have been transformed, but you're not as soulless as you thought you were going to be, and you're actually still pretty close to being who you were before the transformation.

Close, but not perfectly or exactly like you were before. You did transform, after all. But these changes become more obvious in other examples, such as with Karlach.

You having a partly-apostolic soul that retains all its memories and most of its original personality is obviously VERY unique and different to what most mind flayers experience. For example, if you turn yourself illithid and then free Orpheus (again, see the same steps above, but go a step farther and actually free him this time), then Orpheus will be utterly shocked that you're capable of independent thought.

Orpheus: What is this... A mind flayer in possession of its mental faculties? This is the stuff of fables. It is as if I am reliving the legend of Oryndoll. You are the illithid Urengol, rebelling against your own hivemind. And I am the noble githyanki Valraag who must now reconsider his position. An illithid capable of rebelling against the Netherbrain's instruction... Not only capable but willing... If your intentions are as righteous as they seem, this is an advantage I cannot overlook. An advantage that must be grasped, for our enemy is formidable indeed. Very well. I propose an alliance.

A couple of notes here: Oryndoll is/was a real mind flayer colony far, far below the surface in the southern regions of Faerûn (beneath the Shining Plains). Not only is it ancient, but the wealth of knowledge stored inside via illithid technology rivals and probably even surpasses that of Candlekeep's library. There's at least one book in the game that talks about a foolish drow adventurer searching for Oryndoll, only to end up a mind flayer, while another hints at Oryndoll's role in the history of the Duergar race. But these are the only mentions of Oryndoll in the game.

Oryndoll has a history in D&D lore, but there's no mention of Urengol and Valraag (that I could find). If this is a fable Orpheus knows, it's apparently so ancient that only he remembers it. But that itself is interesting, because it makes Urengol his closest reference to you having become a rogue, independently-thinking, and emotionally driven mind flayer. He can't think of any other examples, that's how unique you are.

The most important thing here is that Orpheus literally considers your independently thinking self as so baffling, so impossible, it should only exist in fables. That, I think, says a lot.

The next question is, does he think he would become just as unique?

The Case of Orpheus

We all know Orpheus can be convinced to turn into a mind flayer and sacrifice his soul for his people. I'm sure he genuinely does think he is sacrificing his soul, as there is no real precedent that he or anyone else seems to know of for a person who turns into a mind flayer and keeps their soul (or at least keeps their same memories, personality, and intelligence). But if he's surprised that he's kept all his memories after turning illithid, he doesn't really show it.

You can ask him about it, of course, after he's turned into a mind flayer and after you've defeated the Netherbrain. His response is kind of interesting.

Player: You're a mind flayer, but you're still you, aren't you? Orpheus: Yes. But for how long? My mind screams. It will never stop until it has slipped away from me entirely.

No one else seems to define their illithid experience this way. I'm curious if his mind screaming is referring to the hunger he feels, the same hunger he is actively trying to resist, but he doesn't elaborate on this. Regardless, he's certain that while he has retained his personality (and probably his soul) for now, it's not going to last.

This is why he asks for an honorable death after the defeat of the Netherbrain.

Player: You don't deserve to die. Orpheus: I will not be ghaik! I did what I did to save my people. [...] The rest is up to them. Someone else must rise within the ranks to lead the revolution against Vlaakith. Give me my freedom from this form, release my soul to the Astral Seas while I still have one to call my own.

Orpheus believes that he only has a temporary grasp on his soul or consciousness, which may or may not have transformed into a different kind of soul. Then again, if he thinks his soul is going to the Astral Seas, maybe it doesn't matter whether his soul was transformed from apostolic to non-apostolic. I'm not even sure if githyanki have apostolic souls at all, since they wouldn't really be interested in the deities that govern matters on the Material Plane. I mean, for a long time Lae'zel wants her soul to be eaten by Vlaakith (a literal lich queen who eats souls) via "ascension" so...

I also have no idea if his soul, once released to the Astral Seas, would be mind-flayer-shaped. I guess that's the great mystery. I would assume yes, but I also don’t know how souls manifest in the Astral Seas and finding sources on this has been difficult (it all boils down to “ask your DM”).

Orpheus can be convinced to stay alive and just hang out in a far-off "corner of these realms" to watch his people fight against Vlaakith from afar, and there's kind of a hint that him agreeing to do this means he isn't actually afraid he'll lose his entire soul. But at this point, we're getting too far into "maybes" and "what ifs" to suggest anything concrete.

Quick picture break of Orpheus contemplating the Supreme Tadpole to break up the text (I just thought it was a good shot)

Now I do have to acknowledge two things about Orpheus: one, he could be a special mind flayer precisely because of his unique abilities to shield his mind from elder brain compulsion, which means his unique abilities could also be the reason why he retains so much of his personality and therefore his soul. Since most of the time you end up eating his brain and absorbing his abilities, this could also explain why you retain so much of your own soul if you become a mind flayer instead.

In this scenario, you’re a special mind flayer because (1) you have a Netherese tadpole, (2) you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole, and (3) then you ate Orpheus’s brain. All three elements could be at play.

But not everyone eats Orpheus’s brain, so that theory has holes. I genuinely think you just end up being a special mind flayer because of the Netherese magic that messes with your tadpole. The Supreme Tadpole plus Orpheus’s abilities would only be the icing on the cake, so to speak.

The second thing I want to acknowledge is that there’s a glaring plothole for Orpheus even turning into a mind flayer at all, if you play the game a certain way. If you send the Emperor away to free Orpheus before the Emperor gives you the Supreme Tadpole (for example if you send Lae’zel over to smash the chains holding Orpheus captive without talking to the Emperor, which is what I did one time, and the Emperor was literally like “don’t talk to me again bye” and left), then how does he turn into a mind flayer? He doesn’t have a tadpole and you don’t have the Supreme Tadpole to give to him.

He gets around this with you or Karlach by saying he’ll lower his mental shields so that your tadpole hears the Netherbrain’s orders to transform and then replace the shields again.

Orpheus: My defences keep the voice of the Absolute out, but just as I can raise them, so I can lower them. I will allow the voice of the Absolute in. Once it reaches you, it will order you to transform. It will only take a moment. And once you are a mind flayer, I will fold you under my protection once more. You will be the saviour of empires, not least my own. Narrator: *With the withdrawal of Orpheus' power, your mind is rushed with the full force of the Netherbrain. You feel a compulsion unlike anything you've ever known - excruciating and exhilarating in equal measure. You wish nothing in the world but to evolve. Then - complete silence, as you are once again closed off from the Netherbrain's mind.*

So that makes sense, and it means you being a special mind flayer could boil down to your personality being hella strong + you being infected with a special Netherese tadpole. In this scenario, the Supreme Tadpole can’t be used to explain your unique soul-keeping abilities, and neither can you attribute your soul-keeping abilities to consuming Orpheus's brain (since he's still alive). So maybe the Supreme Tadpole and/or Orpheus's brain doesn’t have any effect on why you keep your mostly-unaltered soul.

In the end I guess it’s just the weird Netherese tadpole that does the trick? Honestly, I wonder if it all boils down to the fact that the Netherese tadpole doesn't eat your brain, it just lies dormant and incubating in your head, so you're not losing brain matter. (But this ignores or forgets that when you eat other tadpoles you literally watch them burrow into your brain matter so I'm sure the magic has something to do with it too.)

But anyway this still doesn’t explain why Orpheus, who shouldn’t have a tadpole, somehow turns into a mind flayer by, I don’t know, manifesting it??? Or why he is also a unique mind flayer once he does this without the Supreme Tadpole. I mean in his case I’m sure it is because he has special mind shield abilities but still. How did he turn into a mind flayer without a tadpole? Make it make sense, Larian.

He literally just touches his head with a psionic magic effect, which is the same gesture he uses to lower his mental shield to allow the Netherbrain to force you to transform. It's also interesting that if you have him transform using the Supreme Tadpole, then he doesn't say anything as he accepts the tadpole from you and absorbs it. But if you have him change without the tadpole, then he says, "The Netherbrain will be only too pleased to claim me."

Which...kind of implies that he's somehow able to communicate with the Netherbrain or hear its voice, so...maybe he secretly does have a tadpole? I mean, a popular theory is the Emperor probably did tadpole Orpheus off-screen since he seems to have a level of compulsion over Orpheus, but this is never explained or mentioned in the game so do whatever you want with that theory.

But I digress.

Let's do a quick summary, shall we?

TLDR: You're probably a super special mind flayer who gets to keep their soul mostly intact (or mostly unaltered) because your tadpole was imbued with Netherese magic and generally doesn't eat your brain. You might also be super special because you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole (optional) and/or consumed Orpheus's brain (also optional). Orpheus might be a super special mind flayer simply because he's Orpheus, and that is why he can still retain most of his soul/personality, even though he keeps thinking he's going to lose it. His status as special mind flayer seems unchanged whether he transformed using the Supreme Tadpole or not, so it really must be an Orpheus Thing.

Phew. That was a lot. And honestly, Karlach and Gale only complicate things, so they're going in a separate post. Keep an eye out for Part 3!

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You made it to the end!!! Amazing, you deserve an achievement or something, but all I have are more gold stars.

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

Tags for those who wanted the update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash