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bunny7567 · 2 months ago

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I got you - chapter 4

Pairing: Rex x Jedi!ofc

Word count: 5.5k Warnings: self-destructive behaviour; mentions of heavy drinking; self-hatred; ptsd; implied emotional abuse; some angst │let me know if I'm missing anything, writing these warnings is a lot more difficult than I expected

a/n: I feel so anxious to post this chapter, it's honestly one of my favourites from what I've written so far.

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Lexie sat at the bar in her usual cantina, a half-drunk glass of liquor in front of her. It was her fifth, maybe her sixth actually, she had started drinking way too early in the day. They had been back on Coruscant two days now, after spending two rotations in the orbit of Erosh-4, awaiting the reinforcements that would take over safeguarding the refinery.

She had spent most of those two rotations confined to her room, finding it impossible to be around the clones due to the cold, overwhelming feeling she had sensed when all those men had died around her coming over her again every time she would look a trooper in the eyes.

She busied herself with looking over regulation manuals or attempting to learn Mando’a. She had heard the men use Mando’a words every now and then since joining the battalion and thought it would be good to know what they were saying. Plus, it was a decent distraction from the guilt and self-hatred.

It had been the worst when she had to face Kix, the medic insisting the following rotation after the battle that he needed to change her bandages and check on the wound. He was angry with her, she didn’t even need to look through the Force in order to tell. As she sat on an examining table in the medbay, the guilt she felt was so strong it had made her nauseous. She had to dig her nails into her arm to keep herself from throwing up. Kix had not said much to her as he applied another bacta patch on her almost-healed injury, keeping it strictly professional and informing her that she would not need a third bacta patch the following day.

She wished she could apologise, but what would she even say? Sorry my incompetence got all your brothers needlessly killed? Sorry I was too stubborn and worried about appearances to listen to a much more experienced soldier? Lexie didn’t think he would believe her anyway. She sensed it in him and in all the other clones she would pass in the corridors, the mistrust, the resentment. They all believed she was a clone-hater, just like her master.

She had managed to avoid Rex almost completely these past few days, with the exception of two briefings it was mandatory for her to attend that he was also present for. As curious as she was about the reason he had not given Anakin the full account of their failed mission, the shame she felt every time she would look at him was too much for her to handle.

She had not managed, however, to avoid Ahsoka. She had approached Lexie on multiple occasions, eager to get to know her better. The young Padawan’s enthusiasm was contagious and Lexie had to admit she would feel a little better in her presence. Unfortunately, the respite from self-hatred never lasted too long, Anakin would end up joining them after a while and Lexie would feel like a disappointment to her friend all over again. He didn’t have to say it, she felt it in his eyes. Even he wasn’t sure of her character anymore.

Lexie finished her drink and decided to leave. Maybe with the help of the alcohol she would actually manage to sleep tonight. The guilt she felt had kept her awake ever since that mission. She was exhausted.

But it wasn’t just guilt, she was scared she realised, scared that if she closed her eyes she would wake up on a battlefield, get hurt again. She hadn’t thought that much about her injury, it had not been that serious and it felt like nothing compared to the deaths of all those men, but it had actually affected her more than she wanted to admit. Every corner she would turn, she was worried she would come face to face with one of those battle droids and at night, alone in her room, she felt unsafe and vulnerable.

Lexie reached the barracks a little while after the sun had set. She wasn’t only joking with what she had said to Rex during the tour, she really did hate sneaking into the Jedi Temple while drunk and planned to make full use of the private room she was given on the base. If only she could find it.

She tried to remember the way the Captain had taken her, but the corridors all looked the same and, while she had sobered up a little bit during her walk from the cantina to the base, she was still tipsy, which did not help at all with orientation. She stepped off the lift at the wrong level and heard laughter and muffled voices coming from an open door ahead of her. She decided to follow it, hoping that maybe she would find Echo and ask him for directions again. What’s more embarrassment in front of him anyway?

She did find Echo, but also Fives, Kix, Jesse, Hardcase and Rex. They were all in a training room, Fives and Hardcase were on the training mat, mid sparring session, while the others were hanging around, watching and chatting and, from the half-drunk bottles of ale laying around, Lexie could tell this was more a friendly hang-out than a training exercise. It was their night off after all, she remembered, and they all looked relaxed. Fives, Jesse and Hardcase were not wearing their armor, being dressed only in their blacks, while the other three still had the lower part of the armor on.

Seeing all of them there she felt a pit in her stomach and wanted to turn away and leave before she was spotted, but it was too late. The Captain had noticed the movement by the door and looked towards it, his honey-coloured eyes meeting hers. Shit.

It was too late for her to run, the others had noticed her too and looked towards the door. Unfortunately for Fives, who had abruptly dropped his defences as he saw one of his generals in the doorway, Hardcase was the last to notice her, and could not stop his fist in time before making contact with Fives’ face. He stumbled backwards and lifted his hand to his jaw, letting out a cuss word under his breath. Lexie slightly grimaced as she saw the punch that Fives took; it was her fault, she had broken his concentration.

She stood there just looking at them for a second, she had to find something to say to dissipate the awkward tension that had formed. Just act normal.

“Drinking in the training room, Captain? That has to violate at least three GAR regulations”, she said in a teasing tone.

The playfulness in her voice did not seem to register with Rex, as his posture got rigid and concern clouded his Force signature. “Apologies General, we have the night off and we were just trying to unwin-”.

“Relax Captain, I wasn’t reprimanding you”, Lexie cut him off, taking a few steps towards the group. She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side, an idea forming into her mind. A bad one, most likely, that she would have immediately dismissed if she were sober. “Say, which one of you is the best at hand-to-hand combat?”

“Definitely Rex”, Hardcase responded quickly, earning a look from the Captain.

“Is that so?” she took a few more steps towards him. “Care to show me your skills, Captain? I could use the practice”.

“I… I don’t think I would be in my best form, Sir, I did have something to drink”, he replied taken aback by her proposal.

“That’s perfect actually, I’m just coming from a bar myself, so the playing field will be level”, she countered. “What, are you worried you’ll get your ass handed to you in front of your brothers?”.

“Well, you are a Jedi, Sir”, he replied.

“No Jedi tricks, I promise”, Lexie raised her hands up to emphasise her point. “Just plain combat skills”.

“I don’t think it’s the best idea, General”, Rex was still hesitant.

“I didn’t take you for a hut'uun, Captain”, she said looking straight into his eyes.

A flash of anger from Rex reached Lexie, her comment had really hit a nerve. Rex was a brave leader and a proud soldier. He was anything but a coward. And to have her say that to him, and in Mando’a? He couldn’t believe her audacity. Yes, he and the other clones weren’t technically considered Mandalorian, but they were proud of their genetic heritage and had incorporated the Mando’a they learned from their trainers into their vocabulary as a way to distance themselves from the Kaminoans. It didn’t sit well with him to hear her use it as an insult at his expanse.

Had he really been that wrong about her? He hadn’t actually expected her to recognise him but he thought she would at least be the same Jedi he had fought side by side with. But the way she had acted these past few days… her disbelief that she could have been tricked by a clone after the lightsaber training exercise, her disregard for the safety of his brothers during their mission and now the cockiness with which she threw Mando’a around.

Was Kix right, had he been too sentimental about her? He had tried to defend her ever since their mission, excusing it as a mistake and lack of experience and shutting down all talk he heard about her being a clone-hater. But maybe it wasn’t a front like he believed, maybe she really just was this cold and heartless.

“Fine. Let’s practice”, Rex said coldly.

“This should be good”, Fives said a little too loudly leaning towards Jesse.

Lexie tied her hair into a ponytail and took off her dark green satin blouse. It wasn’t exactly adequate for sparring, the sleeves were too flowy, but she did have a black sports bra underneath. Under normal circumstances she wouldn’t have been comfortable being seen in just the sports bra, she was very self-conscious about her abdomen, but right now she was still tipsy enough not to mind.

She moved to the centre of the mat, feeling all eyes on her and catching a glimpse of Echo who looked at her with concern. The Captain followed behind her and they both warmed up their joints and muscles for a couple of minutes before taking their stances.

Lexie wasn’t exactly sure why she decided to challenge him but she couldn’t turn back now. She sized her opponent up and moved to make the first strike. Rex easily dodged her hand but did not move to retaliate, instead resuming his defensive stance. She stepped back.

“Don’t take it easy on me, Captain, I can hold my own”, Lexie said. Rex frowned in response.

She moved on him again, attempting a few quick punches at his abdomen and managing to land one of them, however not hard enough to faze him. This time he did attempt a counter move which she had to deflect with her forearm.

“Oh come on! I’m sure you can do better than that”, she taunted. She could feel his irritation growing.

She raised her leg attempting a blow to the head and forcing Rex to step back and avoid it, resuming his defensive stance right after.

“Come on, Captain, you’re not even trying to hit me!”, Lexie raised her voice before she launched another attack that Rex deflected. “This is your chance for payback, use it!”.

Rex was taken aback by her comment and suddenly became aware of her panting. They had not been at this long enough for her to be this out of breath already. He had to use his forearms to defend himself from more punches that she threw his way and took the opportunity that her proximity gave him to use his shoulder and push her back. It made contact with her chest and she stumbled a few steps backwards but quickly caught her breath, regained her footing and attempted another attack. Her hits were sloppy, she wasn’t focused on strategy or proper form.

“Just hit me, Captain. You know I deserve it”, she said with frustration.

Rex deflected another blow. What was she going on about?

“I got them killed. Your brothers are dead because of me. Just hit me!”, she screamed as she raised her fist to try another hit at his chest which he dodged.

Rex’s eyes went wide at the realisation of why she was doing this. The anger he saw on her face was not directed at him. She tried another furious attack, getting close enough for Rex to notice there were tears in her eyes. Her mental state was not well at all, he could tell.

“General, stop”, the Captain tried to say between her punches.

She either didn’t hear him or didn’t want to listen. Her hits were still coming fast but they were imprecise and easy to dodge. After stepping to the side to avoid a punch, Rex managed to get behind her and wrap his arms around her torso, pinning her arms to her own body and keeping her from moving.

“You need to stop”, he said softly, trying to calm her down.

“Get off me”, she screamed as she squirmed in his grasp, trying to free herself. She felt tears running down her face and briefly wondered when she had started crying. She kept trying to move, letting out frustrated grunts through gritted teeth.

“Everybody out!”, Rex’s authoritative voice ordered. His head turned towards the bewildered group, making eye contact with Echo and Kix, who immediately followed his orders and ushered the others to the exit.

As the door slid closed, Lexie finally managed to get free from Rex’s arms, falling to her knees on the mat. She was hyperventilating and sobbing. Her hand clawed at the fabric over her sternum, she couldn’t breathe. She had embarrassed herself again, this time in front of even more troopers. Shame and guilt were clouding her mind, all she could feel was that horrible, cold feeling of death. She wasn’t in a training room anymore, she was back on that battlefield, she swore she could even hear the blasterfire and the screams from injured troopers.

“I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve kriffin’ listened”, she said between sobs.

“Lexie, I need you to breathe, nice and slow”, Rex said after kneeling down next to her. Her name slipped from his tongue so naturally, she didn’t even register the impropriety of a clone captain addressing his general so familiarly.

His hand reached her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. Lexie’s initial impulse was to jerk away from his touch but for an unknown reason stopped herself. Instead she turned towards him and did something even she was surprised at. Her head burrowed into the crook of Rex’s neck as she kept sobbing, and her hands rested on his chest, fingers softly gripping at the fabric of his blacks.

Rex was shocked for a moment, unsure of what to do. This felt too intimate, he definitely never had a superior officer cry on his shoulder before. But she was so distraught, so vulnerable, all he wanted to do was help her. He wrapped his arms around her, his right hand gently cradling the back of her head.

“You’re ok, I got you”, he said softly.

Lexie cried for a while, letting out all the anguish she had been feeling ever since the disastrous mission. But it wasn’t just that; she realised she was finally letting out every single feeling she had supressed since waking up from the coma. All the anger at her former master, all the frustration at her recovery and at the disconnection she felt to the Force, and all the fear and anxiety that resulted from her rushed knighting.

Every now and then she would manage to mumble “I’m so sorry” or “why didn’t I listen to you?” between sobs and Rex would assure her that everything will be ok. He didn’t know what else to say, this situation was all new to him, but after some time it seemed to be working. Lexie’s sobs subsided, she wasn’t shaking so much anymore, and her breaths were becoming more even.

For the first time in days she felt completely safe. She liked the way his strong arms felt around her body, his grip around her so firm, yet so gentle, warmth emanating from his torso onto hers. And the smell of his skin, the mixture of soap and a little sweat, it was intoxicating; she thought she could stay like that for hours. His embrace felt so safe and familiar.

Maker what am I doing? Having calmed down, she suddenly became hyperaware of the position she was in. How had she let this happen? She had completely broken down in front of him, she had thrown herself into his arms, she had allowed him to hold her while she cried. Master al’Prani would be livid. As much as she wanted to remain in his arms she pulled away abruptly, wiping her face with her hands.

“I’m sorry”, she said quietly.

“General, when’s the last time you slept?”, he asked.

“Umm… that would be before I got all those men killed”, she answered, voice cracking as she struggled to not start crying all over again.

Rex had thought that was the case. He berated himself internally for not noticing it earlier. He had seen it in a few of his brothers before. They were engineered to withstand the stress of combat yes, but on rare occasions one of them would break down, especially after a particularly harrowing mission. Rex felt bad now for thinking her heartless. He needed to make sure she got some sleep, but before that he needed to make sure she ate something. If she hadn’t been sleeping, it’s very unlikely she’s been eating properly.

He got up from the floor and extended a hand towards her. Lexie was reluctant but she accepted it, allowing the Captain to help her up. She finally looked into his eyes again. They were looking at her with so much kindness and understanding. I don’t deserve this. She averted her gaze to the floor, fingernails digging into the skin of her arms after crossing them over her chest.

“Come on, let’s get some food, Sir”, Rex said.

The Captain fastened the pieces of his upper armor back on and picked up his helmet from the corner of the training room. Lexie slipped back into her blouse and followed him silently through the corridors and to the mess hall. Her mind was telling her that she should probably just leave, be alone, not prolong her embarrassment, but she felt so safe in his presence, she didn’t want that to end.

She was relieved to see that the mess was almost empty, most of the men were probably out at the 79s or on night duty. Rex walked to a table the farthest away from the few clones that were having their dinner and stopped to address his general.

“Sit down, Sir, I’ll go get us something to eat”, he placed his helmet on the table.

“I… uh… I should come with you. I don’t eat meat so I can’t just have whatever”, she said, feeling bad at the imposition.

Rex was surprised by that; he didn’t really understand why someone would choose to restrict their diet, but it wasn’t his place to judge. Thinking more about it, he and his brothers didn’t actually have a choice, they had to eat whatever meals the GAR supplied for them, which were specifically crafted in order to provide the necessary amount of nutrition, without much thought for variety.

“I’m sure I can find something you can have. Just sit down, Sir”, he said, and left after receiving a nod from Lexie and watching her take a seat on the bench.

Alone with her thoughts, Lexie replayed the events of the evening in her mind. She had really made a fool of herself. Again. This was worse than getting stunned during that first training exercise. What must those men think about her? She had acted like an insane person, screaming at Rex to hit her; Maker this was a low point. She cringed as she remembered calling him a coward, what in the galaxy had possessed her to do that? She had been absentmindedly pulling at the skin around her fingernails and felt a small, sharp sting. She had ripped a little too much skin and a bit of blood was visible on her left thumb. She should really stop doing that.

She moved her focus to Rex’s helmet on the table in front of her. Her right hand reached for it, turning it so the visor faced her, fingers slowly gliding over the tally marks scratched into the plastoid. She wondered what they stood for. Battles won maybe? Her eyes moved to the design painted above his visor, her fingers lightly tracing the blue paint of the eye-like drawing.

Lexie quickly pulled her hand away from the helmet as Rex set a tray down on the table. She didn’t realise he had returned. “Sorry”, she mumbled.

“It’s alright, General.”, he said, a trace of a smile on his lips. He placed a bowl of soup in front of her. “Root vegetables soup, best option they had”, he informed her, then sat down across from her with his own bowl in front of him.

She didn’t feel hungry, but she had not actually eaten that day, except for a small pastry she counted as breakfast. She took a sip of the warm liquid in the bowl; it tasted bland, the GAR should really start using some seasoning in the food they are serving these men. Her gaze drifted back on the helmet.

“You can ask me about it if you want Sir, I don’t mind”, Rex broke the silence they were sat in.

“Alright. Well… what does it represent, the drawing?”, she asked after a pause.

“Jaig eyes. It’s a Mandalorian symbol of honour. It’s awarded to soldiers in recognition of notable acts of bravery. I received them after the Battle of Geonosis from one of the Mandalorian trainers back on Kamino”.

Notable acts of bravery, Lexie repeated the words in her head. She let out a breath as she struggled to gather the words she wanted to say. “Captain… I-I need to apologise to you… for that hut'uun comment. I didn’t actually mean it”. She looked at him and saw how he briefly clenched his jaw, but did not say anything in response. “And I… I need you to know how deeply sorry I am for the way I spoke to you on Erosh-4, and for not listening-”

“General”, he cut her off, noticing that she was on the verge of tears again. “You made a mistake, it happens. You are not the first commanding officer to make a bad call and come out of a mission with more casualties than necessary, and you have to stop acting like you are. It has happened to me, it has recently happened to Commander Tano, and it has even happened to General Skywalker. Yes, it is a heavy burden that you carry with you, but you cannot let it break you, Sir. All you can do is learn from it and try to not repeat the same mistake”.

“I don’t think I should ever be making any sort of calls again. I’m… I should not be a general”. She couldn’t believe she had said those words aloud, but there was something about Rex, something that made her trust him and feel like she could actually confide in him.

“Sir, you are a Jedi Knight, you’re more than capab-”, he tried to reassure her.

“A Jedi Knight?”, she interrupted him. “How can I be a Knight if I don’t even remember passing the Trials”, she said with a nervous laugh. “Because I don’t, I really don’t. I don’t know what the fuck happened on Geonosis, I can’t remember”.

“You don’t remember anything?”, he asked with a shocked expression.

“Some bits and pieces, but nothing coherent. Or, well…”, she paused. Should she really be telling him all this? Will he report her to the Council, inform them of how she’s kept important information about her recovery from them? She looked into his eyes taking in their beautiful amber colour. For some reason she really felt like she could trust him. What the hell, I’ve said this much already.

“I think I remembered something the other day, but I... I’m not sure if it actually happened or if it was a dream. It was the moment my master left me there, he said some horrible things about… about you all. He told me to leave with him but I-I couldn’t, it wasn’t right, I didn’t agree with what he said at all, I know everyone thinks I did but I really didn’t, I-I don’t think that about clones”, she paused and took a breath, she was rambling, letting her emotions get the better of her again. She had to centre herself.

“Anyway, he just left me there with a squad of clone troopers waiting for me to take command, and I was panicking and some random clone had to-”, she abruptly stopped talking and her eyebrows furrowed.

She had been picturing the dream in her head as she talked when all of a sudden her mind did something strange. Instead of the shiny new armor the clone was wearing in her dream she saw Rex’s armor, his blue markings, kama and pauldron, Jaig eyes on the helmet and blond, short hair under it. The words that clone had said to calm her down rang in her head. Lexie, I need you to breath, nice and slow. Rex had said the same exact words to her just a little while ago.

She looked across the table at the Captain, one side of his mouth was raised in a small smile. She knew that smile. “Was that…?”, she tried to ask.

“That was me, General”, he said with a nod.

It finally made sense. That nagging feeling in the back of her mind ever since Anakin introduced him to her, the way he had greeted her, genuinely happy to see her, and the familiar warmth of his Force signature. She knew him, her mind had been trying to tell her that she’d met him before. Lexie smiled before she could stop it. She finally understood why she felt such a connection with him, why his presence felt so safe. He was the first clone trooper she’d ever talked to. And it was his kind eyes that had calmed her down and reassured her she could lead. That must be why he defended her in front of Anakin, and why he showed her so much kindness. He actually was on her side, and had been since the beginning.

“So trust me when I say you are more than capable of being a good leader. You’ve done it before, and you’ve done it well”, he finished the thought that she interrupted before.

Lexie still wasn’t sure she believed him, but realised she could finally get some answers. Her mood had changed, she was more at ease. “Will you tell me what happened, please? The moron who filled in the mission report wrote the driest shit I’ve read in my entire life, so kriffin’ generic, it told me nothing about what actually happened to me”.

Rex let out a small laugh. “That was also me, Sir. I was the squad leader so I wrote the generic mission report”.

“Oh”, was all she could mutter, embarrassment engulfing her mind. Great going, first you call him a coward, now a moron. “Well I hope you have improved your writing style since then”, she might as well double down.

“It’s probably the same, Sir”, he replied with an amused voice.

“I thought I asked you to call me Lexie, I actually remember that bit”, she said after she took another sip of the soup in front of her.

“I’m not sure I can anymore. The situation was different on Geonosis. You are a general now, Sir”, he replied.

“Technically I could just order you to do it”, she said in a teasing tone, earning a look from the Captain. “We’re not on a mission or on the battlefield, that’s all I’m saying, Captain”.

He looked at her, pondering her words. It would still break protocol, but he has broken it before. “I’ll think about it. But if I use your name then you have to use mine”.

“I think I could manage that, Rex”, she said with a small smile.

They sat in silence for a bit, finishing their meals. Lexie felt so at ease being near him, his presence had a soothing effect on her anxious mind. But she couldn’t enjoy it forever.

“I need to remember what happened. Will you help me? Tell me what I did after Master al’Prani left?”, she asked.

“Do you want to do this tonight? I think you should get some sleep first”, he said with concern.

“I have to remember, Rex. I’ve been feeling like such a fraud, like I don’t deserve to be a Knight. It’s why I… why I was so worried about how it would look t-to follow your advice. I just… I need to remember”, she admitted to him.

“Alright... Well, you were worried and needed some reassurance before you took command of the squad, you said you remember that part”, he looked at her for confirmation and she nodded. “We were three klicks away from the Geonosian Command Center that Count Dooku had retreated to and the Council had ordered us to act as reinforcements for Generals Skywalker and Kenobi, and so you started leading us there. As we approached the rock formation, droid defensive started to get heavier but we managed to push through. However, when we reached the Command Center and tried to enter through the lower tunnels a defoliator tank fired at us. You used the Force to push me and the other clones out of harm’s way but you got caught in the rockslide”, he stopped, scanning her face for her reaction.

Lexie felt numb as she listened to him, a few images flashing in her mind as Rex was describing the events of the battle. She remembered running by his side, slicing through droids, metal melting under her yellow sabers, but she still couldn’t remember being caught in the blast. “What happened after, how did I survive?”

“I called for a medevac and we dug you out from under the rubble. You were badly injured, barely conscious. I then… uh… I carried you to the gunship and you were rushed to a cruiser for immediate medical attention”, Rex concluded. There was more he could say but it didn’t feel like the right time.

“Thank you, Rex. It seems I owe you my life”, she said after a long pause.

“I was only returning the favour. I would probably be dead if you hadn’t pushed me away from the tunnel entrance. Did you remember anything?”, he asked.

“A few more bits and pieces”, she said before she yawned.

“You need sleep, Lexie”, he said in a caring tone.

“I know but… I won’t be able to sleep. Ever since Erosh-4, I-I don’t feel safe when I’m alone”, she admitted quietly.

Rex was silent for a minute, contemplating an idea. He then got up and motioned for Lexie to follow him. They walked silently to her private room, she was too exhausted to make any more conversation. Upon reaching it, she was surprised to see him stepping inside after her. She watched as he placed his helmet on the desk, then moved the chair from under there, placing it against the wall of the refresher and next to the head of the bed. She gave him a puzzled look.

“I’ll keep watch while you sleep. No one can come into the room and sneak up on you this way. You’ll be safe”, he explained.

She opened her mouth to protest but closed it the next second. She was so tired and she did feel completely safe with him around. She picked up her nightshirt and went in the refresher to get changed and to take her makeup off.

When she came out, Rex was already sat on the chair. He looked at her as she got into bed and felt a blush warm his face. The pink, short-sleeved nightshirt was only covering down half her thighs. Drawings of colourful little tooka cats decorated the fabric. Rex thought she looked… cute. He averted his eyes from her, reprimanding himself internally. That was not an appropriate thought to have about his general.

Lexie did not notice his reaction; she was too tired and the light in the room was dimmed. She pushed away the thought of what al’Prani would say if he knew she was allowing a clone to watch over her as she slept. She could regret it in the morning, right now all she wanted was to close her eyes and fall asleep.

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alexluvsskittlez · 1 month ago

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I haven't made an into in months so uhhh..

HI EVERYPONY!!! my name is Alex, you can also call me Sam, Zoe, or Binoo

I'm 14 years old, my birthday is April 23rd

i am an artist, animator, content creator, and I'm learning how to sing :3

I'm audhd and dyscalculic (idk if i spelled that right sorry)

my special interests are Paramore and my ocs

I am currently hyperfixated on Emily Armstrong

I am PARAMORE'S #1 FAN!!!!!!!

i am a PROUD SELFSHIPPER!!!!

BYI:

I am Emily Armstrong's #1 defender (sorry haters XD)

I have the worst sense of humor on this planet

I joke about rpf (real people fiction) sometimes. I don't actually support it. but at the same time idgaf if other people involve themselves in it just don't be too weird

I usually don't think before I post so if I post something wrong please let me know

idrgaf about proship discourse and it's not something that I like involving myself in. I generally don't care what people ship but I still think shipping illegal stuff is weird as hell

I get pissed really easily but I promise I'm nice

bands/artists i like (warning, its a LOT):

Paramore, pierce the veil, linkin park, mcr, Hayley Williams, pinkshift, meet me @ the altar, silverstien, fall out boy, green day, bring me the horizon, p!atd, la dispute, lemon demon, sunny day real estate, Will Wood and the tapeworms, Will Wood, asking Alexandria, not enough space, get scared, the used, Owl city, mitski, Florence + the machine, stomach book, she wants revenge, Weezer, picture me broken, rites of spring, halfnoise, isles & glaciers, dead by sunrise, black veil brides, system of a down, limp Bizkit, silly goose, dead sara, scary kids scaring kids, alesana, femtanyl, the cure, modern baseball, foxszn, 3drinkz, yellow card, vylet pony, american football, boygenius, Avril Lavigne, millionaires, Kesha, s3rl, 3oh!3, attack attack, brokencyde, and waterparks.

shows I like:

smiling friends, steven universe, gravity falls, murder drones, madoka magica, the owl house, amphibia, clone high, invader zim, eddsworld, spooky month, inside job, pelswick, tadc, toopy and binoo, mlp, and the ghost and molly mcgee.

movies i like:

the final riot, steven universe the movie, atsv, itsv, the fnaf movie, mean girls, juno, the tamagotchi movie (i think there's actually multiple but I'm specifically talking about the anime one made in 2007), toopy and binoo the movie, and mlp the movie

games i like:

splatoon 2, fnaf, minecraft, animal crossing, mario kart, castle cats, pjsekai, nintendogs, roblox, regretevator, cart ride into 17 pregnant hyenas (rip </3), baldis basics, and ddlc

youtubers i like:

Kurtis Conner, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, funkyfrogbait, bredrawz, flamingo, benoftheweek, sinjin drowning, cybernoop, dantdm, stariaat, lovely lor, juj, and penguinz0

musicals i like:

mean girls, be more chill and Hamilton (I'm still getting into musicals so if you have any recommendations please tell me!!)

titles I gave myself (probably not necessary but idgaf)

Paramore's #1 fan

Pim Pimling's spouse

professional Pim kisser

#1 tell me how listener

#1 misadventures fan

#1 Emily Armstrong defender

tamagotchi dad of 3

spinel and mars' parent

#1 laika's comet fan

#1 class of 09 the flipside hater

#1 mip hater

worst dancer in history

other stuff I like (some are fandom related some aren't):

alternative subcultures/fashion, laikas comet, homestuck, warrior cats, tamagotchis/digital pets in general, mid-late 2010s animation memes, old internet stuff, space stuff, and animals

dni:

basic dni stuff uhh, people who are 12 and under, people who harass proshippers (yeah they're weird but harassing them is no better than being one), Paramore haters, Emily Armstrong haters, and those 4chan femcel self proclaimed problematic mfs. other than that i just block freely.

other socials:

ig: alexluvsskittlez

youtube: alexluvsskittlez

sketchers united: alexluvsskittlez

newgrounds: alexluvsskittlez

deviantart: pixelisgay

spotify: Pimkisser69420👽🙏

ermm that's all BYEEE!!!

#paramore #piercetheveil #linkin park #mcr #smiling friends #steven universe #gravity falls #im not adding more tags

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canonically47 · 3 months ago

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review pls

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP YUL HAD HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM AND WE GOT JAJAMES IN THE FINALE. ONC DO NOT FUCK THIS UP FOR ME.

DCAS ep 19 - review

spoilers !!!! (but you knew that.)

tom saying jake sees the best in people was so fucking funny i'm sorry like we both know He Does Not. even the line was like 'despite his anxieties he..' baby ur literally saying 'despite not seeing the best in people he really does see the best in people' you are so fucking stupid

side note tom is actually an idiot, unironically. not haha himbo idiot just an actual fucking idiot. how is he 30. how is he a fan favorite. HOW IS TOMJAKE A FAN FAVORITE SHIP nonono im not talking about this rn im NOT (claws at my enclosure)

ugh i forgot tomjake is like. a thing. and not a very bad made-up fanon ship. and they're giving them a spin-off. for a sec i allowed myself to exist in a world where ONC made good writing decisions. what a world it was

james being jake's biggest hater was amazing. almost unleashed my inner jake hater. there is still time though, trust

kinda sad to see huntess not hang out with anyone but each other. i was waiting on tess interacting with gabellie or something

on the bright side, GRETT HAVING A MOMENT WITH GABELLIE??? HELLOOOOOOOOO?????? CAN YALL HEAR ME???????????????

gabgrellie save me.... save me gabgrellie............

speaking of ellie she looked so off the entire episode. why did her eyes move like that. am i crazy. she looked so ugly

oh my fucking god they fucking burnt yul's face. that's crazy. grett the woman that you are <333 i might actually draw the prick because he looks cool now

i am also sooooooo glad they're not giving him a half-assed redemption arc. they know he sucks ass. at least we have that

krystal saying "that's the good shit" was the most embarrassing thing ever in fact her entire part before dinner was embarrassing. why did she keep. doing that and saying that. girl why are you interrupting the moment you want to get on camera are you an idiot

also she fell victim to the inconsistency bc tell me why she was bitching and moaning the entire season about 'those that really matter' and being all lpvey dovey about her friends but then derek is like 'trevor :)' and she goes 'why arent u professional' girl.

and derek. man. we all know youre lying genuinely fuck you. 'he matters to me' GIRLLL WHEEENNNNNNNNNNN HAVE YOU SHOWN THAT 😭😭😭

FIORE AND ALEC!!! ALEC SCOWLING THEN LOOKING AT FIORE AND INSTANTLY SMILING!!! HIM PROTECTING HER FROM YUL!!! HIM COVERING HER EYES WHEN YUL GOT BURNED!!! TH!!! THE!!!!!!! THE FATHER-DAUGHTER DUO EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭

now allow me to be even more not normal

JAJAMES CRUMBS 🗣🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥 JAMES IS HELPING JAKE IN THE FINALE EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP HERE IS HOW JAJAKEDEN NATION CAN STILL WIN- [gets shot] [gets shot] [gets shot] [gets s

please god PLEASE LET THEM BECOME FRIENDS because if they do i will actually write DSVC fic about jajakeden getting together. i made a promise to myself to never write DSVC fic but if they become friends. i will be so. fucking. annoying.

JAJAMES PLEASE BECOME FRIENDS PLEASEEEEEEE PLEASE 😭😭😭

sooooo glad fiore not only did not pick riya but also GAVE HER THE DISADVANTAGE. JAKE FANS HERE IS HOW WE CAN STILL WIN

why did they bring emily back just to make her a bitch.

JAJAMES PLEEEEEAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭

there are many things wrong with this ep (like derek existing, and also his lines, and also yul existing,,, and the stuff ive pointed out) but its ONC. i'll throw them a bone ig. i'm okay with what we got, it obviously wasn't a masterpiece and it felt fanservice-y in parts (yk that one post or ask or whatever that says season 1 & 2 DSVC was a show a fandom was built off, but season 3 is a show built off the fandom? yea some scenes reminded me of that. coigh cough krystal mildly breaking the fourth wall.) but i'm glad connor only got like 2 seconds of screentime, fiore and alec got along, and the jajames crumbs oh my.. <3

overall, an 8/10 and if my memory isn't failing me this is probably the best rating since ep 13?? but yea it was a good episode i'm fine with it. im surprised they didnt ruin.everything. bc yk its ONC. so yea!!! yay yippee yay!

i am so glad there are only 2 episodes left . istg if i watch the spin offs or new seasons i need yall to shoot me. and remember how i was talking some time ago about rewatching the entire show after DCAS came out fully? yea no. not doing that. when episode 21 comes out i will be cheering because i will finally put DSVC behind me. i fucking hate this show WE ARE ALMOST FREE!!!!!!!!! CHEERING

#my faith in dsvc is not restored and never will be but this was a breath of fresh aie #especially compaired to.. last ep....... shudders #ofc nothing will top e14 in terms of fucking sucking #but yk #theres still time #letting u know rn that i will be so upset if ally wins but i will live with it #but if RIYA wins #i think i will actually do something bad and stupid #as long as riya doesnt win i can cope #(i need jake to win so bad omigod please he has all the cards HE CAN DO IT)#(ONC REMEMBER HES A FAN FAVORITE AND. AND TOMJAKE. OR WHATEVER. JUST MAKE HIM WIN PLEAAAAAAASEEEEEEE)#my asks #disventure camp #disventure camp all stars #dcas #dcas review

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persmo · 6 months ago

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Let's talk about: Fakeclaimers and Internet, pt.2

So... This is a part 2 of our previous post about fakeclaimers and internet, so if you want to read the previous part you can, but you don't need it to understand this one

We already said that fakecalimers are just wild, they want to target systems and mock/troll them, that's not surprise

But something that I have seen that makes me question if the systems online really understand how internet works is because the reaction that they have with them, and it always confuse me

As I previously said, I was very angry about fakeclaimers, I was in that whole thing of why the're wrong because they target us and some sys friends in the past, and we evolved just to ignore them and get out of those spaces, and that made us realize how dumb is fakeclaiming at certain level

All the bases for the fakeclaming regarding OSDDID systems are just bullshit, that you have many alters, that you don't have enough alters, that you can talk about trauma, that you can't talk about trauma, that you know your system and alters, that you don't know your system and alters. Fakeclaimers just want to fakeclaime everything without knowing about the information about systems, they're just haters

Try to reason with one is useless, you're just gonna horribly frustrate yourself, you're not going anywhere and you're giving the fakecalimers the attention they want

You can't win in a debate or talk with a fakeclaimer cause they don't fucking care about you nor your arguments, they just wanna hate on you

So why give them what they want? Just ignore and block them

They're just a random in the internet, they don't know more about you than yourself, they're not a professional in mental health and expert in OSDDID, and if they are, they didn't studied your case close enough and with a good amount of time to know if your faking or not; they just can't know something like that by just looking through your post, videos, profile, etc.

The one who can know if you're faking is you and your psychologist/psychiatrist, not some random user on the internet, so why get mad about it? They can never know, so stop getting mad about it, if they choose to fakeclaime you is because they saw in you an easy target and it's a you thing to give them the reason or not about being an easy target

Also I think is dumb how systems online get mad or drive crazy when they get fakeclaimed in internet, it's the internet, everyone will hate and attack on everyone

When you make yourself a public system in the internet you should know and be aware that you will eventually get fakeclaimed

So yeah, it's dumb and effortless to be mad or something like that when the internet act like the internet. I'm not saying that if you feel bad for that you're a loser or dumb or something like that, just that you need to be aware that being fakeclaimed is a possibility and you should be mentally prepare for that, if you can't stand being fakeclaimed you shouldn't be a public system online

Cause yeah, even us that we did this post get mad or angry when people fakeclaimed us, but then we calm ourselves knowing that strangers have power on us only if we gave it to them, and we won't

If a fakeclaiming affected you is totally valid, you can take a rest, quit socials, bloq and react however you like, just be aware that when you decided being publicly a system you signed for the whole package, fakeclaiming including, and it's your responsibility to act and react mature enough with the topic without minimizing your emotions and feelings

Sorry if I sounded rude or something, but I needed to take this out of my body, this and the first part, if you want to comment, ask or discuss about the topic I'm completely open in comments and DM. Remember to take care, and don't pay attention to those trolls

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fromtenthousandfeet · 6 months ago

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Dang, girl, you almost have me feeling sorry for Jungkook. Well, the man does love music. And OMG, does he love to sing.

I don't have the time or inclination to be an akgae, but if I did, I would do everything in my power to get NLG--masterpiece that it is--in front of as many people as possible.

Fortunately. I don't have a lot of power. Maybe I could solicit some friends to do a TikTok dance challenge. It would consist of us rocking back and forth and shouting, go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go! Easy-peasey, lemon squeeezy, Just the level we could carry off after a few beers.

I'd post long tirades on X and all other platforms, calling out the haters, because JK already explained why NLG is short and unfinished, poor darling, and he hopes we support it anyway, and it is so super sweet how much he love his fans, isn't it?

(Btw, can you imagine any other professional musician doing that? Releasing unfinished music and then giving excuses to your fans while asking them to buy it?)

Snarkiness aside, eventually people are going to see there is no there...there. Jungkook is like the empty vessel that takes on whatever it is they're pouring. Or maybe this is exactly what he wants and thinks he needs to achieve the super stardom he's been chasing.

I don't even know which would be worse.

Anon, thanks for the laugh!

Did my post not come across as sincere?!? To be perfectly frank, I really don't get the hype around JK. He strikes me as being just a hair above average, with the advantage of having had a lot of voice lessons. He's like the kid who gets a solo in the church choir or the lead in the high school musical. Good, but not great.

Here's the deal. I'm not a Taylor Swift fan, but I don't lose my shit if I hear one of her songs. I don't begrudge her success. I don't mind that other people love her. I literally don't care about her one way or another. And that's how I should feel about Jungkook, too, if only his career wasn't being launched at the expense of Jimin's. In my humble opinion, Jimin is the only one out the seven who has a snowball's chance in hell of succeeding in the US as a solo artist. Put all seven on equal footing and then let's see how they do.

You're dead on about releasing and making excuses for a bad song. It's sooooo unprofessional. But it doesn't really matter since his fandom eats up whatever he releases. The JJK comments I've read on Twitter in the last 24 hours are absolutely unhinged. Apparently, he is grossly neglected by both the company and ARMY!!!

And you're also right about him being an empty vessel. Do yourself a favor and Google Mijoo hand tattoo. That boy doesn't have an original idea in his head. I'm sure the Kurt Cobain quote on his arm was her idea, too, because he embodies the absolute opposite of "better dead than cool." He's an average singer, a decent dancer who is getting increasingly stiff, he has a dubious work ethic and no strong musical vision (at least so far). That is not exactly a recipe for long-term success. That Scooter push can only keep him afloat for so long. And boy did he have a lot of it yesterday. All the major music media outlets were mentioning his song, but the only engagement the posts got were from JJKs.

Look at Day 2 for Never Let Go. Nearly 45% of his streams are coming from Thailand and Vietnam.

Hmmmm. I feel like I was baited into writing this angry screed and now I feel guilty. As penance, I shall tap into those years of ballet and modern dance study from my child and teen years and commit myself entirely to making interpretive dance TikTok videos set to NLG. It's the least I can do.

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majaloveschris · 2 years ago

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I also want this to be over, but if he truly signed a contract (which I do believe he did), it's not that easy. Even if he realized he was stupid and made a big and dumb mistake, he can't say it's over. Maybe next time he won't get into things like this.

// This is the kinda behaviour I’m talking about that you seem to understand. You don’t have to go bully or harass HIM in his posts yourself but people who tend to believe they know better than the man himself somehow find a shelter here on your blog to diss him and also take the theories discussed here to harass HIM every time he posts anywhere. What gives any of you guys the right to call HIM dumb and stupid for decisions that affect no one but himself?? Why are you understanding that he made a big mistake with his personal life?? Like who are you to sit here and calculate that his decisions about his own life are wrong and you have the right to judge him for it?? Is it because he’s a celebrity you guys think it’s okay to have no boundaries and harass and bully these people about something that has nothing to do with anyone but themselves?? Because you chose to love this person you met on your screen you believe that gives you a right to their lives?? Chris Evans is with Alba wether for real or not is not for any of us to decide, disss, harass and bully HIM for. He’s not hurting anyone by dating Alba is he?? He’s not hurting anybody by fake/pr dating Alba is he?? Stop justifying this vile behaviour and giving these people a platform to diss, discuss and disrespect. He’s not dumb or stupid for doing something some of you don’t “approve” of. In fact anyone who sits here and thinks they actually know what’s good for him and his business better than himself and people who know him better are the stupid, dumb and delusional ones. As I said before learn some boundaries and where to draw the lines between personal and professional. They are famous doesn’t mean they have no personal life and regardless of what they do with their lives we don’t have a say and we definitely don’t have the right to disrespect them for it.

Alba is perfectly fine young woman who have done some questionable things in the past. Doesn’t make her a bad person, doesn’t make her a racist and certainly doesn’t justify the hate these two are getting for dating. Neither she nor Evans is or should be responsible for something someone else has done. They are not going to break (fake or real) because some obsessive stalker fans (read haters) dug years old dirt on people she wasn’t friends with at the time. Let’s be real and use common sense. Respect people’s privacy and decisions as you wish others to respect your affairs and that includes putting everything he does under a microscope to analyse if the relationship is real or not. It’s time to move past this and wait and watch.

P.S. You are unproblematic but the people who come here are NOT.

I don't think anybody here has ever dissed him. I always try to be cautious and avoid sharing asks that are hateful or in which people bully anyone. You should see those ones I delete, and some of them are disgusting. I disapprove of bullying, and I always tell people not to send hate to anybody. I've never seen a single person use my posts or theories to bully anybody, especially because I always say we don't know anything for sure and that everything is just a theory. I don't think I've ever been hateful toward anybody, so I don't understand how people would be able to use my words or posts to send hate. If it's happened, I'm sorry for that; it was never my intention. I never want or wanted anybody to feel the urge to send hate or make a hateful comment because of what I posted. However, I've talked about how I dislike that type of behavior. I try my best here to encourage people not to do all of the things we talked about earlier, but unfortunately, I can't supervise every person who comes here. I can decide what I share or say, but I can't control people. I'm all about providing an environment where we can talk about these things without hatred.

What you quoted were my words; what you quoted was written by me.And it was my opinion, which I can share because this is my page. I wish the worst thing anyone has ever said about him was stupid. Do I think this was a mistake? I do; I would say the same thing even if this whole thing were real (just my opinion). Saying that I think he made a mistake and was stupid to get into this isn't judging; it's forming an opinion. I have boundaries with him; that's why I don't post or repost certain things. When did I disrespect them? Any of them? I don't call them names, and I'm not hateful. I don't understand why you're attacking me like I'm some kind of monster whose entire page is about hating on them and encouraging people to do the same.

Alba still does questionable things, and I don't understand how you can say she is "perfectly fine" when she posted her own nude video on Instagram. People hold her responsible not only for what her friends have done but also for what she has done. But would you like to be friends with somebody who thinks Nazis are fun? Or who fat shames others? Because I'm not. And why? Because I don't understand them, I don't want to be around those types of people because I have a different moral compass and that behavior is not acceptable. I've never once held Chris accountable for something Alba and her friends have done. I do think this is PR, and I do think that most of the time he doesn't really have any other option than being around them, but Alba is willingly friends with these people. And she doesn't just spend an hour with these people every six months; she spends the majority of her time with them. Don't even get me started on Justin liking hateful tweets about Chris and his fans. And I guess it's also okay that he's been trolling the fandom since the beginning.

I also talked about how I don't like that people overanalyze certain things.

I don't really get how I justify vile behavior. I'm not sure why I'm the one getting these asks from you when there are plenty, much worse, Tumblr blogs, Instagram accounts, and Twitter pages, out there. I don't consider this place toxic just because we talk about a public relationship, especially when we do it respectfully.

I always say we can talk about everything here, as long as we do it respectfully and don't cross the line I set for this blog. And I respect your viewpoint, but I don't believe I am who you believe I am.

#majaloveschris #cevans-love #beautyful messs

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jasminelee324 · 1 month ago

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you’re trying to make me jealous, aren’t you?”>*not trying to do anything. You simply areconstant reminder of why you ended things in the first place.>>girl if u dont block this, yake your keys and file a reststraining order with the police and amd leave that man to be a ward of THE STATE AAAAND get Officer Gojo's number while you're at it!

he follows obediently, hands gripping the basket, a>>WALK HIM LIKE A DOG!what happened to that?”>>cleay the consequences of ones own actionssss???? dpmo

what makes you think i need a reason to be here?>>look whoooos orbiting around who now??? Hmmm?”you’re still mad at me, aren’t you?”but refusing to let him get under your skin like he used to.>>FINALLLLLLLLYYYYY. YN STANDING ON BUSINESS!!!!! I'M SO PROUD😭👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

his vulnerability, rare as it is, catches you off guard.>>Noooooooooooooo! Pls pls pls pls pls bookie GET UPPPPPPPPPPPP😭

a look of genuine regret.>>that's not your problem anymoreeeee

the love you’ve carried for him hasn’t disappeared>> Girl PLEASEEE go to therapy instead of back to this man, i promise it will get better🙏🏾

your chest tightens as you let out a soft, defeated sigh. “i hate that i miss you too,”>>ladies, gentlemen and tumblr shadows...i regret to inform you, we've lost another one🥲

you’ve already surrendered.>>here lies yn. She stood on business for 30 seconds and i was proud of her for all 30 of them🥲🤧😭

he knows he's won, even if just a little.>>girrrrrrlaa thats a TEXTBOOK narcissist!(i am not a mental health professional and this i not to be taken as a diagnosis for anyone. if concerned pls seek professional help) FLEE!!! 🏃🏾‍♀️ 🏃🏾‍♀️ 🏃🏾‍♀️ 🏃🏾‍♀️ RUN dont walk😭 There's still a chance for youuu!

i’ll earn your trust back, i’ll treat you right. i’ll be the one you fall back in love with.>>yap yap YAP😭.

Poor yns friends are going to have to comfort her when this man fumbles AGAINNNN

and i’ll make sure you don’t regret giving me this chance.”>>i'm tegretting this on her behalf already

💗 I can at least acknowledge that to some extent I'm just beaching and moaning. Ik at heart I'm a sukuna hater but the occasional fic does sway that, BUT THIS only reminds me of every reason behind my intinal instincts😭like Eren Yaeger himself has popped up and told me to LOCK IN!

The writing itself is absolutely beautiful though. And without a doubt goes above and beyond in its ability to evoke strong emotions and empathy for the main character. 10/10👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

he’s annoying, but maybe, just maybe, you’re willing to let him try.>>CHAI🙆🏿‍♀️

i won’t let you down, doll.”>>yes he will but none the less we'll chalk it up to yn's future character development arc. Possibly her villain origin story😭

pouring every unspoken promise and emotion into it>>almost had me weak in the knees. 😩🤭lemme stand up😭btwn me and yn one of us has to😭

what’s wrong with a little public display of affection>>bsff

ryou’re still a menace to society>>AND IS AND yn imma hold ur hand when I say this: yn i want you to remeber that you TOO, you're a part of socieTyyyyyyyy!

tonight’s going to be a night you’ll never forget>>me hoping this doesnt take a turn for the worse and he UNALIVES her😭😭😭ynnnn! Noooo She was so young, so free😢you’ll be missed bookie. Fly High 🕊 karasuno high!!!🏐 (im so sorry😂😂😂😭😂😂😂😂😭)

i’ve got everything planned to perfection. tonight’s going to be a night you’ll never forget.”>>im not gon' lie to some extent.....i get it BUT to do better we must first want better and i need ms.yn to have THE VERY BEST🗣which means standing in business when NECESSARYYYYY and NOT folding under pressure even as it gets worsa and kuna is the personification is WORSA

😭Idk if im happier i made through or that yn did. She dididn't t chopped up and thrown inthe teunk so a win is a win. No matter what she's still better off in your hands than what Gege would have done to her😭😭😭Ty for your time and you gift of literacy that you have chosen to share with the world. This is truly a heightened ability to make out scenes so vividly and to breathe life into the characters to the point it's like they're jumping off the page. Please never stop writing. Albeit an emotional rollercoaster it has been an utmost pleasure reading your work💗🤝

THE GIRL IS MINE : RYOMEN SUKUNA

you and sukuna have been broken up for three months, but it seems like he can’t take the break-up seriously and he tries to convince you to get back to him.

warning. non-sorcerer! sukuna, ex-boyfriend! sukuna, fluff.

it’s been three months since you broke up with sukuna, but life hasn’t gotten any easier. he’s relentless, calling and texting you as if nothing has changed. he still has a set of your keys, and although you’ve considered asking for them back, a part of you never has. instead, you just let him come and go as he pleases, all while pretending to ignore him every time he shows up uninvited.

as valentine’s day approaches, your friend asks you for a favor. she needs a gift for her boyfriend and wonders if you could pick something up for her. wanting to help, you agree and head to a nearby store, the weight of sukuna’s lingering presence dulling your mood.

the store is filled with romantic displays, everything draped in pink and red. you have a basket hooked on your arm as you wander the aisles, searching for something thoughtful and nice. you reach for a bottle of cologne, turning it in your hand, when that familiar deep voice cuts through your thoughts.

“looking for something, princess?”

your heart sinks immediately. you don’t need to turn around to know it’s him. sukuna. you grit your teeth, bracing yourself as the last thing you wanted today was for him to ruin your peace.

you slowly turn, meeting his cocky smirk. he’s standing there, casual as ever, like he’s done nothing wrong, like he hasn’t been making your life a nightmare since the breakup.

“i don’t remember inviting you into my day,” you mutter, tossing the cologne into your basket as if his presence isn’t already gnawing at you.

he chuckles, stepping closer. “you never had to. i always know where to find you.” his tone is laced with arrogance, the same arrogance that made you fall for him before you saw his darker sides. you roll your eyes, gripping the basket tighter. “what do you want, sukuna?”

he leans against the shelving, that smirk still on his lips. “just thought i’d see how my girl is doing, can a boyfriend do that?” he asks, feigning innocence. you know he’s as far from innocent as it gets. his eyes rake over you, studying you with a familiarity that makes your skin crawl. the store’s romantic atmosphere feels like a mockery with him here, tainting the air with his presence. you shift uncomfortably, trying to ignore the weight of his gaze.

you roll your eyes, already exasperated. “i’m not your girl anymore, sukuna,” you say firmly, turning your attention back to the cologne bottles in front of you. you unscrew the cap of one, taking a quick sniff, hoping to focus on anything but his presence.

sukuna doesn’t back off; he never does. leaning against the shelving, he watches you with that familiar, infuriating smirk still playing on his lips. you can feel his gaze burning into your skin, making your nerves bristle as you move from one bottle to the next, trying to act like he isn’t getting under your skin.

he lets out a low chuckle at your response, the sound sending a chill down your spine. “ah, but you’ll always be mine,” he says, a dark edge in his tone, as if it’s a warning. “you can’t just erase three years together, princess.”

he pushes off the shelving, walking towards you with an unwavering confidence. he reaches out, his fingers tracing the nape of your neck, causing you to shiver involuntarily.

his touch is possessive, just like it always was. he steps closer, his body invading your personal space. “you can pretend all you want,” he whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. “but deep down, you know you miss me.”

he reaches around you, grabbing the bottle of cologne from your basket. he turns it in his hand, inspecting it with a mocking smirk. “you’re not buying this for yourself, are you?”

you look at him with a flat, unimpressed expression, resisting the urge to shove him away. his possessive touch still lingers, just like it always did, and the proximity is suffocating. “no, it’s for someone else,” you say bluntly, keeping your tone as neutral as possible. your patience is wearing thin, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you rattled.

his smirk widens at your answer, as if he finds it amusing. he sets the bottle back in your basket, his hand still lingering. “aww, buying a gift for someone special? who is it, your little rebound?” he teases, leaning closer.

he’s intentionally trying to rile you up, and damn him, it’s working. his presence is overwhelming, and his taunts are a constant reminder of why you ended things in the first place.

sukuna’s voice drips with mockery as he steps closer, his smirk still in place. “so, this is what you’re doing now, doll? buying cheap cologne for other men?” you clench your jaw, rolling your eyes as you grip the basket a little tighter. turning to face him, your expression is flat and unbothered. “yup,” you reply sarcastically. “that’s exactly what i’m doing. must be a real shock for you.”

sukuna grins at your retort, amused by your attempt to brush him off. he takes another step forward, his face now just inches away from yours.

“oh, doll,” he says, his tone almost condescending. “i know you too well. you’re not buying that cologne for just anyone. you’re trying to make me jealous, aren’t you?” he reaches out, his finger gently tracing along your jawline, his touch sending a mixture of irritation and familiarity coursing through you.

you just sigh, turning away again. “whatever helps you sleep at night, sukuna.” you continue browsing, determined not to let him ruin your day more than he already has.

sukuna laughs, a mocking sound that irritates you even more. he follows you as you move down the aisle, his presence like an unwelcome shadow.

“oh, come on,” he says, his tone laced with mock disappointment. “you can’t even look at me anymore, princess?” he reaches out, taking the basket from your hands, forcing you to stop and face him. he holds it just out of reach, grinning down at you. “i think you miss me more than you care to admit.”

you hum in response, not even bothering to look up at him as he grins down at you. “if you say so,” you murmur, shrugging casually. you know better than to feed into his antics—he wants a reaction, and you’re not going to give him one.

instead, you let him hold the basket, walking further down the aisle and continuing your search for the gift. sukuna follows, as you expected, holding the basket just like he used to. you can't help but find the situation ironic; despite his cocky attitude, he’s the one carrying your things while you shop. in a way, it’s a win-win.

his presence might be irritating, but at least you don’t have to lug around the basket anymore. as you browse through more cologne options, you toss a few bottles into the basket without a word before moving to look for something else, fully aware that sukuna will just keep following you around like a shadow.

sukuna watches you as you wander down the aisle, his eyes studying you with a mixture of fascination and annoyance. he follows obediently, hands gripping the basket, as you add more items to it. he’s oddly compliant, and it annoys him that you’re not falling for his usual games.

“you’re not very responsive today, doll,” he comments, his tone a little harsher than usual. “not even going to give me a little fight?”

you grab a sleek watch from the display and turn to sukuna, ignoring his comment. his eyes narrow slightly in suspicion as you take his wrist, sliding the watch onto it without hesitation. he watches, surprised but intrigued, as you adjust the strap, examining how it looks on him.

“i need to buy my friend’s boyfriend a gift for valentine’s,” you say, your focus on the watch as you tilt his wrist to see how it catches the light.

the second the words leave your mouth, you don’t realize what you’ve just done—reassured his jealousy with an unintended confirmation. sukuna’s smirk returns, this time with a sharper edge. “so that’s what this is about,” he says, his voice dripping with amusement. “trying to make sure your friend's boyfriend looks as good as me, huh?”

you glance up at him, catching the glint in his eyes, but you refuse to let him rattle you. “just trying to see if the watch looks good,” you reply coolly, slipping it off his wrist. “not everything revolves around you, sukuna.”

sukuna’s smirk widens, his ego stroked by your admission. he watches as you slip the watch off his wrist, his gaze unwavering.

“aww, doll,” he coos, stepping closer to you. “you’re right, not everything revolves around me, but you used to.” he reaches out, his hand cupping your chin and forcing you to look up at him. “you used to be so focused on me. what happened to that?”

you meet his gaze, completely unimpressed by his touch, and stare at him for a moment. “you should ask yourself that,” you reply flatly, your voice carrying a note of finality. pulling your chin from his hand, you turn away without hesitation, walking toward another aisle as if his presence meant nothing.

sukuna watches you in silence for a beat, his usual cockiness lingering in the air. before turning down the next aisle, you glance over your shoulder at him, your voice casual as you ask, “what are you even doing here, anyway?” your question hangs between you both, a quiet curiosity beneath the surface.

sukuna follows you, his smirk faltering slightly at your continued disinterest. he takes a moment to answer, watching you as you browse through the aisle.

he takes a step closer, his voice low as he speaks. “i was shopping, doll. i saw you walking in and decided to come say hi,” he says, his tone betraying a hint of annoyance. he leans against the shelving, his eyes still roaming over you. “what makes you think i need a reason to be here?”

sukuna's eyes narrow as he watches you, his previous smirk replaced with a more intense gaze. the store around them seems to fade into the background as he becomes more fixated on the interaction.

his voice dropping to a low murmur. “i guess i just wanted to see how you've been doing.” he reaches out, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “you look good,” he says, his touch lingering for a moment before he withdraws his hand.

you remain focused on the items in front of you, barely acknowledging his presence even as he steps closer. his touch as he brushes the strand of hair away doesn’t faze you, though you can feel the weight of his gaze on you, more intense than before.

“i’ve been fine,” you say, your voice distant, uninterested in entertaining his attempt at a deeper conversation. you glance at him briefly, your eyes sharp but calm. “thanks for the compliment, i guess.” you shift slightly, turning away from him and continuing to browse, refusing to let him pull you back into his orbit.

sukuna's annoyance grows as he sees your dismissive attitude. he's not used to being ignored, especially by you. he watches as you turn away, his gaze following your every move.

he remains silent for a moment before speaking up again, his voice laced with frustration. “you’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” he asks, the words more of a statement than a question. he steps closer again, invading your personal space as he tries to get a reaction out of you.

you stop in your tracks and turn to face him, meeting his frustrated gaze with calm indifference. “i’m not mad at you, sukuna,” you say, your voice even and unwavering. “i just don’t see the point in acting like your girlfriend anymore, because i’m not.”

your words hang in the air, and you can see the frustration flicker in his eyes. he’s clearly not used to you being this distant, this detached. you give him a small, almost dismissive shrug before turning your attention back to the shelf. “there’s no reason for me to be mad. it’s over. simple as that.”

you grab another item, turning away from him, fully expecting him to continue trying to push your buttons, but refusing to let him get under your skin like he used to.

sukuna's frustration turns into irritation at your nonchalant response. he can’t wrap his head around your cool, almost distant demeanor. he wanted a reaction, some sign that you still felt something. but you’re not giving him anything.

he grits his teeth as you turn away, your dismissive shrug like a blade to his ego. “it’s simple, huh?” he says, his voice edged with sarcasm. he steps closer once more, his body almost brushing against yours. “if it’s so simple, then why does it feel like you’re trying to make me jealous?”

his gaze roams over you, as if searching for some kind of crack in your composure. he’s never seen you this calm, this unflustered by his attempts to get a reaction. “buying valentine’s gifts for someone else,” he continues, his tone mocking. “that’s a low blow, doll.”

you let out an exasperated sigh, turning to face him with a tired look. “i already told you, it’s for my friend’s boyfriend,” you repeat, your tone flat and dismissive. “you’re really reaching here, sukuna.“

you shake your head and turn back to browsing, not even bothering to engage with his mockery anymore. it’s clear he’s fishing for a reaction, but you’re not giving him the satisfaction. “honestly, it’s getting a little old,” you add, your voice laced with irritation.

sukuna’s frustration begins to boil over, fueled by your repeated dismissals. he steps closer again, his body almost towering over you. “it’s old?” he repeats, his voice gaining an edge of anger. “you really think you can brush me off that easily?” he moves in, his presence demanding your attention. “you can’t just act like i don’t mean anything to you,” he says, his jaw clenching. “after three years, doll, you owe me more than this.”

you look up at sukuna, meeting his intense gaze with a sigh, feeling the weight of the conversation hang between you. his usual arrogance falters as his eyes soften. his hand comes up to cup the side of your neck, his touch unexpectedly gentle.

“just… let me apologize,” he says softly, his voice losing its edge. “let me talk first. let me make things right.” his vulnerability, rare as it is, catches you off guard. you can see the tension in his jaw relax as he waits for your response, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin. the desperation to fix things, to go back to what you had, is written all over his face. you hesitate for a moment, feeling the conflicting emotions stirring inside you.

sukuna’s grip on your neck softens, his thumb tracing a gentle circle against the skin. his eyes hold a vulnerability you've rarely seen, a look of genuine regret.

he takes a moment, collecting his thoughts as he speaks. “i know i messed up,” he says, his voice softer now. “i took you for granted, doll. took us for granted.” he steps closer, his body almost brushing against yours. “but i... i miss you,” he admits, his words hanging in the air. “i want you back.”

you stare at him, searching his eyes for any hint of sincerity. the regret in his voice, the soft touch of his hand, all of it feels so unfamiliar from the sukuna you knew—yet painfully familiar at the same time. as much as you hate him for what he’s put you through, the love you’ve carried for him hasn’t disappeared. three months wasn’t nearly enough to erase the years of memories, the moments where you felt like you were his whole world.

your chest tightens as you let out a soft, defeated sigh. “i hate that i miss you too,” you admit quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

you nod, more to yourself than to him, feeling the weight of your decision as you meet his gaze again. “fine,” you say, almost as if the word leaves your lips of its own accord. “ we can talk, but this… this can’t be like before, sukuna. i won’t go back to that.” your words carry a quiet warning, but the truth is, you’ve already surrendered.

sukuna’s expression shifts, the hint of a smile playing at the corner of his lips. he recognizes the surrender in your eyes, the defeat in your voice. he knows he's won, even if just a little.

he nods, accepting your conditions, his hand still resting gently on your neck. “no,” he agrees, his voice almost a whisper. “it won’t be like before. i'll make you fall in love with me all over again.” he steps closer, his body pressing gently against yours, the heat of him sending a shiver down your spine. he leans in, his breath warm against your skin as he speaks, his words a quiet promise.

“i’ll show you that i can be better, doll,” he says, his voice soft but firm. “i’ll earn your trust back, i’ll treat you right. i’ll be the one you fall back in love with.” he pulls back, looking at you with an intense gaze. “just give me a chance.”

you frown, the familiar feeling of annoyance bubbling up inside you. sukuna always knew how to worm his way back into your life, no matter how hard you tried to push him away. and the worst part? you always let him.

you roll your eyes, letting out an irritated groan. “you’re so annoying, sukuna,” you mutter, not even bothering to hide your frustration.

without waiting for him to respond, you turn on your heel and head towards the register, your footsteps a little heavier than usual. he follows, of course, still holding the basket as if he belongs there beside you. even now, with his promises and sweet words, he’s still the same—a force of nature, barging into your life whenever he pleases. but despite the frustration, you don’t tell him to leave. you never really do.

sukuna grins as you storm off to the register, following closely behind you. he watches as you try to maintain an air of frustration, but he can see through it. after all, he knows you better than you know yourself.

he remains silent, walking beside you as you make your way to the register. he places the basket on the counter, his presence looming over you. he can see the conflicting emotions playing out on your face, and it fills him with a twisted sense of satisfaction. as you pay for your purchases, he watches, waiting for your next move.

you can feel his gaze on you as you finish paying, the weight of his presence heavy in the air. as you turn to leave, he follows, his footsteps echoing behind you.

once outside the store, the cool air does little to soothe your irritation. you pause, turning to face him, your expression still guarded. “now what?” you ask, your voice carrying a hint of challenge. “you’ve successfully annoyed me into giving you another chance. what next, sukuna?”

sukuna grins at your question, enjoying the slight challenge in your voice. he steps closer, his body almost touching yours. “now, doll,” he says, his voice laced with a hint of mischief. “now i show you how good it can be between us again.”

he reaches out, his hand gently brushing your cheek as he lowers his voice to a whisper. “i’ll make you remember why you fell in love with me in the first place,” he promises. “and i’ll make sure you don’t regret giving me this chance.”

he leans in, his breath warm against your ear as he speaks, “i’ll court you proper this time around. dinners, outings, everything to show you that i’m serious about treating you right.”

he pulls back, his eyes roving over your face as if committing it to memory. “and if you don’t like it, you can walk away at any time, doll. i won’t stop you.” he waits for your response, his heart pounding in his chest, the anticipation making his blood run hot.

you fight the smile threatening to break through, biting your lip to keep it at bay. despite everything, there’s a part of you that’s amused by his persistence, his bold promises. “you better make it worth it,” you say, glancing up at him with a teasing smirk, “if you’re going to waste my time like this.”

his eyes light up, a glimmer of victory in them as he takes in your words. he leans in closer, his lips ghosting just above yours as he whispers, “oh, doll, I promise you—it’ll be worth every second.” you roll your eyes again, but this time, there’s a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. he’s annoying, but maybe, just maybe, you’re willing to let him try.

sukuna grins at your response, enjoying the subtle shift in the air between you. he can see the hint of a smile, the slight falter in your confident demeanor. he knows he’s getting to you, and it fuels his determination. he leans in even closer, his lips hovering just above yours, his breath warm against your cheek. “i’ll make it more than worth your time, doll,” he whispers, his voice low and enticing. “i won’t let you down.”

he pulls back, his eyes locked on yours, a silent challenge in his gaze. “let me prove it. give me this chance, and i’ll show you that i’m serious about winning you back,” he continues, his voice soft but firm. “i won’t let you down, doll.”

he reaches out, his hand gently tracing the side of your neck, his touch light and almost reverent. “i promise you,” he murmurs, “i can make you happy again.” he waits for your response, his heart pounding in his chest as he holds your gaze, hoping you’ll give him this chance.

you hum softly, the sound filled with a mix of satisfaction and surrender as you reach up to cup his cheek. his skin is warm beneath your palm, and you can feel the tension in him, the anticipation radiating from his body as he leans into your touch. “alright,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, your lips just inches from his. the weight of the moment hangs between you both, heavy and charged.

sukuna's heart races in his chest as you reach up to cup his cheek, his eyes locked on yours, intense and full of desire. he leans into your touch, the simple touch sending sparks of electricity coursing through his body.

he swallows hard as he processes your words, your soft agreement sending a wave of relief and hope through him. the corners of his lips slowly curl into a wicked grin as he leans in, his face just inches from yours. “you won’t regret this, doll,” he murmurs, his voice a low, seductive rumble.

sukuna's grin widens as he feels the heat radiating off you, his heart pounding in rhythm with the surge of adrenaline. wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulls you flush against him, the warmth of his body enveloping you in a cocoon of familiarity and desire.

there’s a moment of hesitation, a breath held in anticipation, before he leans in, capturing your lips with his. the kiss is fierce and possessive, igniting the fire that had long lain dormant between you. it’s as if the world around you fades away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in this intoxicating moment.

he kisses you deeply, pouring every unspoken promise and emotion into it, a desperate attempt to convey how much he truly wants you back. the taste of you, the feel of you in his arms, reminds him of everything he’s been missing.

sukuna grips your waist, his fingers digging into your skin as he pulls you closer, molding your body to his. the kiss is intense, filled with a mixture of desire, possessiveness, and a hint of longing. he kisses you with a fervor, his lips moving against yours with a hunger that resonates deep within him.

he pours his heart and soul into the kiss, his tongue tangling with yours in a familiar dance. his hands roam over your body, as if memorizing every curve and contour, as if trying to commit your taste, your scent, everything about you to memory.

he breaks away for a moment, panting slightly, his eyes dark with a mixture of desire and vulnerability. “i’ve missed this,” he whispers, his voice rough and filled with a huskiness that goes straight to your core. “missed you, doll.”

he presses closer to you, his body molding against yours like a perfect puzzle. his lips find your neck, trailing hot kisses down the sensitive skin, igniting a trail of fire in their wake. he bites down lightly, a low, possessive growl rumbling in his chest.

the heat of sukuna's lips against your skin sends a jolt of desire through you, but as his intensity escalates, a sudden rush of awareness snaps you back to reality. with a firm push, you create a bit of space, feeling the cool metal of a nearby car press against your back.

“sukuna,” you say, your voice a mix of annoyance and a lingering thrill, “we're still in public.” your heart races, both from his touch and the embarrassment of being caught in such a passionate moment surrounded by strangers.

he pauses, looking down at you with that familiar smirk, his eyes glinting with mischief. “what’s wrong with a little public display of affection?” he teases, leaning in closer, his breath ghosting over your lips.

you can’t help but roll your eyes at him, even as the corners of your mouth threaten to lift in a smile. “some people might not appreciate it as much as you do.” you try to sound serious, but the way he’s looking at you makes it hard to maintain your composure.

sukuna chuckles softly, clearly unfazed by your protest. “let them watch, then. they’ll only wish they had what we have.” he leans back slightly, just enough to gauge your reaction, his expression softening as he adds, “but i guess i can control myself... for now.”

the way he says “for now” sends another wave of excitement coursing through you, reminding you just how hard it is to resist him, even in public. you can’t help but roll your eyes at his confidence, a mix of amusement and exasperation bubbling up inside you. “you’re still a menace to society, you know that?” you retort, trying to keep your tone light despite the way your heart races.

sukuna grins at your playful push and your annoyance at being caught in a public display of affection. his eyes darkened with desire and a hint of mischief.

“oh, come on, doll,” he teases, his voice low and sultry. “where’s the fun in hiding our passion?” he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he whispers, “i’ve never been one to care about what others think. and you know damn well i have a hard time controlling myself around you.”

you shake your head, unable to suppress a smile as you look into his eyes. “you’re ridiculous. what are you trying to do, make everyone jealous with your terrible flirting?”

sukuna chuckles deep in his throat, his smirk growing wider. “you say ‘terrible’; i call it charming,” he replies, his voice dripping with confidence. “and if it makes everyone else jealous, then all the better. they won’t know what they’re missing.”

he dips his head, his lips brushing against your neck again as he murmurs, “but who cares about them? all i care about is how you react to it.”

you groan in annoyance, a mix of frustration and amusement bubbling up as his lips graze your neck again. “seriously? you can’t just help yourself, can you?” you retort, swatting him away playfully, though the warmth of his affection sends a thrill through you.

sukuna chuckles, pulling away just enough to look at you with that infuriating smirk still plastered on his face. “i can’t help it if you’re just too tempting, doll,” he replies, his voice teasing. he then leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead, and for a moment, all the tension melts away. “but fine,” he concedes, a hint of mischief still lingering in his gaze. “i’ll lower the pda for now.”

he takes your hand in his, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as he leans in slightly, a playful glint in his eyes. “how about we go shopping for a dress for you to wear at dinner on our valentine’s night? i want to see you in something that makes you feel as special as you are.”

your heart flutters at the thought, and you can’t help but feel a smile tugging at your lips. “a dress, huh? are you planning on making a grand entrance or something?” you tease, raising an eyebrow as you try to gauge his intentions.

sukuna grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief and excitement at the idea of seeing you all dolled up in a pretty dress. “oh, doll, you have no idea,” he replies, his voice low and sultry. “i have grand plans for our valentine’s night. and let’s just say, you in a dress is just the beginning.”

he chuckles at your teasing, his hand still holding yours tightly as he looks down at you. “i’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you have the best valentine’s day you’ve ever had.”

sukuna starts walking to his car, his grip on your hand firm yet reassuring, you can’t help but feel a mix of anticipation and curiosity bubbling inside you. you glance up at him, the playful glint in his eyes making your heart race just a little faster. “alright, mr. mysterious,” you say, tilting your head slightly to study his expression. “where exactly are you planning on taking me?”

sukuna grins, his eyes gleaming with excitement as he leads you to his car. he opens the door for you, gallantly gesturing for you to get in before leaning against the car’s hood. he crosses his arms, a smug smile playing on his lips.

“that, doll, is a surprise,” he replies, his voice laced with a hint of playfulness. “but let’s just say it’s a place that’ll make you feel like a queen.”

as you settle into the passenger seat, sukuna makes his way around to the driver’s side, getting behind the wheel. he starts the car and glances at you, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “but don’t worry, doll,” he reassures, his hands confidently gripping the steering wheel. “i’ve got everything planned to perfection. tonight’s going to be a night you’ll never forget.”

you nod, feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness at the prospect of shopping with him, knowing it’ll be a different experience than before. “alright, lead the way, charming rogue,” you say with a playful roll of your eyes, your heart racing at the prospect of what the evening holds.

sukuna laughs, his eyes flickering with amusement. “oh, doll, you’re playing with fire calling me that,” he teases, his voice tinged with both warning and promise. “but i’ll take it as a compliment.” he puts the car in gear and pulls out of the parking lot, his hands steady on the steering wheel. “just sit back and relax. i’ll have you looking like a goddess in no time.”

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diaday333 · 3 years ago

Text

Hello, hello! Todays topic is (drumroll please)…your main character story! Even though you may not feel like sometimes, you are the main character of your own story! So don’t you dare think you’re a side character!

To pick a pile, take a deep breath, relax, and pick the dress you’re most drawn to!

Warning! Remember, tarot readings are not the end all be all. So if there is something that you don't like or if it doesn't resonate, don't take it! Second, don't take tarot readings as replacement for professional advice, I beg of you. Finally, I'm dyslexic, so if something is... Off, either call it out or ignore it and move on with your life— respectfully

I am now offering paid readings! To see more about that, click here

Also, if you enjoy my readings and you want to, you could donate and support me! I would appreciate it a lot

My cash app ||| my kofi

Pile one

Theme song: Show me how by Men I Trust

Bestie, everyone’s eyes on you! You are able to articulate your thoughts and everything you say is well thought out. Though people don’t see you as stuck up or stern. People are willing to follow you and your every word. People think you have a youthful energy (doesn’t mean you’re young). You are divinely protected at all times. You’re good at taking care of yourself. Some amazing things about you are that you are a very stable person, you’re creative, emotionally intelligent, and you can’t be blindsided.

Your theme song fits you because you are able to listen and you are very compassionate. You are very loving and you’re an amazing partner, friend, family member, etc.

Pile two

Your theme song: Heart mind- Kodak black, Plies

You are highly intuitive and people love to love you! You are a very balanced person and a very smart one too! You are able to let go of things that are not for you! You are very strong in your convictions and you know what you want! You won’t settle for less. You’re also creative. You are able to make people feel like they are not alone. When challenged, you don’t back down. You’re a risk taker and you always uplift people.

Your theme song fits you because you always make people feel special and you are very loyal! You always give people your all.

Pile three

Theme song: no way back- Foo Fighters

You don’t give energy to the people who aren’t worth it. Like the haters, you just ignore them. You really value your rest and you take care of yourself well. You shine brightly! You are the type of person who sticks around and you are very patient and you don’t try to rush things. There’s also a lot of people who want to be your friends and a lot who want to date you. But there’s also lot of people who are jealous of you and want to stab you in the back, but they are not able to. You have a very peaceful energy. You are a very wise person and a lot of people look up to you. You think things about before you do them.

Your theme song fits you because you fight for the people you love and don’t give up on them. You put your all into everything. You always help people when you can. You do the right thing, even when no one is looking.

Pile four

Theme song: ok so y’all got the same song as pile 3, so I would suggest y’all check that one at too! Also I’ll get y’all another song lol- animal by Neon Trees

People see y’all as very successful! They also see you as very happy. You enjoy the simple pleasures of life like going on a stroll. You have a very “flowy” energy. You also have a peaceful energy and people feel at peace when with you. You make people feel like family and you take care of them. But you also take care of yourself first. You are able to let go of things that are not for you and know that it’s for the best. You have a lot of swords energy so you are very well thought out and speak your mind.

Your theme song fits you because you can easily accept things. You also say what’s on your mind.

Sorry if it was short,, y’all’s was similar to pile three’s !

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this ! Also if you didn’t see, I’m also offering paid readings. See y’all later !

#witchblr #tarot #tarotblr #free tarot readings #pick a card reading #pick a pile #tarot reading #pick a card #shufflemancy #divination #spotify

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hychlorions · 2 years ago

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Ik your biggest pet peeve is people getting the bracelet wrong, but what is a Popular Apollo and or Klavier HC that you look at and just think 'no. Wrong.' (alternatively just.. bad takes on the characters, any of the AA cast really)

actually yeah let's get into this before i overthink it. this got really long so i'll put it under a read more

personally i get that it's funny that pre-relationship apollo would turn klavier away and be annoyed of his. klavierness. and it makes SENSE because like. it's how we see them act in the games. i especially love their banter when they're in a relationship, even if this "ew klavier" facade is put on from time to time as a clear joke between them. sometimes, though, the way people portray how apollo reacts to and treats klavier in the context of a developing/established romantic relationship reminds me of a certain ship from another fandom i will rather not mention… particularly the fact that a lot of the comments made towards the content for it was like "you do know people in relationships are supposed to LIKE each other… right?" so yeah. you don't HAVE to portray apollo as 100% lovey dovey and mushy brained (though it's funny and kind of sweet. my guilty pleasure 🥴) but at a certain point, him being constantly annoyed makes me feel like. why is he even dating klavier yk?

as for klavier… we all love a man that dresses provocatively. but ig sometimes it goes too far, to the point where it's kind of ridiculous? i understand he's a rockstar AND a prosecutor, but i feel like he does in fact keep those two professions separate. we all agree he looks good in fishnets and platform stilettos and whatever, but for crime scenes and at the office, i feel like he'd stick to clothes that are more fit for court (albeit with the cleavage still lol). aside from professional settings even, i just think he KNOWS how to dress for the situation! no one in their right mind would wear heels to the gym or when they go hiking. you can look slutty AND be comfortable at the same time! anyone who knows how to dress up knows how to show skin (or not 🥴 black turtlenecks anyone?) in other ways. same as how no one would wear their court suit to headline a concert (ik we can attribute it to sprite limit but it's ok capcom. i know you just don't like klavier)

then there's trucy my love who is always the wingwoman. don't get me wrong i like the idea. but sometimes the content of her acting as a wingman makes her kind of disrespectful of apollo's boundaries. i mean she tends to push him outside of his comfort zone in the games, some of the things i've seen her do in fan content is just. holy fuck! you would never do that to a friend! let alone a sibling! though at this point that's just one of those fandom tropes already—going behind someone's back, setting them up to get into situations they've already stated they don't wanna be in, because it's definitely perfectly fine if it's all for love 🙄 you can argue she does the same when she makes them assistants for her magic show, but at least apollo somewhat knew what kind of stuff he's getting into beforehand. whatever wingman thing trucy does is always just thrown at him with no warning at all. but again, this is also just a trope common in a lot of fandoms when it comes to women who are in any sort of close proximity to mlm ships. i just wanna see more of apollo and trucy's relationship as siblings/friends beyond the context of her helping him get together with klavier, too! she's got a life outside of being a support character! it wouldn't hurt to have a conversation or two that isn't about the love interest or a murder, you know

this got long i'm sorry i just have so many Feelings and i've gone through so many fics and comics and ourgh. i’m a natural hater. speedrun of some other things:

narumitsu (whether one or both of them) having bitter feelings toward klavier post-7yg when other kids' parents manipulating said kid in ways that hurt either of nrmt have been shown in aa and they're on very much good terms with those kids too.

apollo personally being the head of rebuilding the justice system in khura'in. he'd help nahyuta yes, he stayed to be a defense attorney there bc there were no defense attorneys and it helps to have at least one, but being in charge of the entire thing? no. just no. soj itself has too many colonialist themes already

follow up to that last one: klavier moving to khura'in to help apollo??? and be his co-counsel? sorry but there are many lines from him that established he loves being a prosecutor too much to give that up just for a man

apollo or athena calling phoenix dad (in a canon setting). no. just no. esp if he adopts them???? gorl i love found family too but damn this is a workplace, not an orphanage...

to end with something silly: anyone being an aquarius/scorpio (sorry lmao this one is definitely personal. other people will hate these signs for general reasons but mine can very much be narrowed down to four people. i'm a special little boy)

#ask #anonymous #re: that last one though. i made kristoph a scorpio. bc he reminds me of one of those four people lol

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footballfangurl · 3 years ago

Note

Hi!

Can you do one where y/n works for Toto and Lewis seems to hate her, always disagree with her but qt the end they’re together!

Thanks!!!!

Hii!!

Sorry for the delay but I was a little bit stuck while writing it. It's the longest one shot I've ever written. I've finished it though! Enjoy and let me know what you think, please x

Lewis Hamilton - I've fallen for you

So, it all started with her sharing her opinion. Admittedly, she probably shouldn't have. Not at the time. Not so soon because she had only been working for Mercedes for a short while. To be honest, she didn't even remember what the issue had been about. What she did remember, however, that Lewis had vehemently disagreed with her. And if it had just remained a one-time thing, there wouldn't have been an issue because she could admit that sometimes she was wrong. But it hadn't. Sometimes it seemed like Lewis disagreed with her just because he could.

Of course, the fault wasn't always with him. Sometimes she didn't know when to back down, even when deep down she knew he was right. And then things escalated quickly when perhaps it could have been avoided. She tried not to argue with him right before qualifying or races so as to not distract him and causing even more friction in the team.

It was hard not to show her enthusiasm though when he drove well during race weekends. Despite the frequent arguments the two of them had, even she could admit he was a very talented driver and he kept on delivering, weekend after weekend. The only thing that bothered her sometimes is that he liked to throw you small, smug glances afterwards. Oooh, how she hated it when he did that. It got her body all warm and anger or irritation immediately started boiling within. But in those moments, she kept it all to herself. Well, until they were in a more private setting. Then the sugar-coated barbs and insults were thrown around as if the two of them weren't supposed to be two professionals getting along. Sometimes, Toto made her or Lewis back off when one of them crossed the line. He didn't like to get involved but whenever he did, it always made her feel a little bit ashamed. She couldn't really help it though. Lewis Hamilton just had a way of getting under her skin.

There were times, however, where even she had to concede and defend Lewis Hamilton from critics. Whenever something happened that people didn't agree with, she didn't hesitate to throw her opinion on twitter or Instagram and dispute whatever was being said about him. It wouldn't be the first time she got into a full-out twitter dispute that usually ended up in her being reprimanded by Toto for reacting to the haters in such a public way. Those times, Lewis did say that it was best not to pay too much attention to them but he always did have a bit of a smile on his face, so she didn't think he minded too much.

"I don't get you sometimes. You act like you hate me but then you defend me like that on twitter." Lewis once had said after one of these twitter wars. She suppressed a smile and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't hate you. I just don't always like you. But I can't stand it when people hate on you for absolutely bullshit reasons and I'll put them in their place every time." It had seemed like Lewis did want to say something more but she hadn't given him the chance, walking away quickly to continue what she had been doing before being called to Toto's office.

Lewis was sitting on his own on some steps in front of the team motorhome. She'd just passed Angela in the motorhome when she had stepped outside so she knew he probably wanted to be alone for a bit but she couldn't resist. Tentatively walking up to him, she sat down next to him in silence. He gave a little sideway glance at her but didn't comment on her presence.

After a few minutes of silence, she started talking. "Hey… I know we're not … friends or anything but… I'm here if you want to talk." He remained silent for a moment, which she didn't mind. The last few days had been hard on him and the team as a whole. The race weekend hadn't gone very well.

"Don't feel like it today."

The comment stung a little bit, but she nodded her head and gave a grim smile. "I figured. I just wanted to let you know that the option was there." She clasped your hands together and rested them on her lap for a moment before pushing off the stairs. She didn't want to bother him any longer than she had to. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Try not to let it get to you too much. Next week we'll do better." With that, she set off to the paddock because there were still some things there that she needed to do.

"Hey, Y/N!" She heard him call out her name and she turned around, walking backwards, to see him giving her a nod and a smile, "Thanks!"

"Anytime." She yelled back before turning around again and walking away.

She was standing outside the paddock, waiting underneath an umbrella. It had begun raining quite hard during the race and they had red flagged it for the time being. Valtteri was talking to his race engineer in the garage about something and Toto was discussing something through his headset. Glancing around, she tried to see if she could spot Lewis anywhere, but she didn't see him.

Suddenly someone ducked underneath her umbrella with her, and she jumped in surprise. Looking up, she raised her eyebrows as she saw Lewis giving her a smile before rubbing his hands together and blowing on them.

"What's up?" It was odd for him to join her like that. Well, maybe not odd but certainly unexpected. Since she had joined him on those steps that day, she had noticed that some of the friction had started to die down. He still told her when he didn't agree with something and she certainly did the same, but the insults between the two of them had certainly lessened in number.

"What do you think?"

"What do I think about what?" she asked, smiling at one of the mechanics in greeting as he passed before turning her attention back to Lewis. He frowned slightly but continued talking.

"About the race."

"You're asking for my opinion now? Usually, you're telling me to shut up." She replied and chuckled as he gently bumped shoulders with her.

"Hey, that's not fair."

"Yeah, I know," She murmured, smiling softly at him, "well, I just think you need to continue what you're doing. It hasn't let you down so far."

"Oh, that's fantastic advice, that. So helpful." He said sarcastically and chuckled when she shoved him on the shoulder. "No, really. Thanks though." He was more sincere this time and placed his hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze before ducking out from under her umbrella again. She bemusedly watched him run over to Angela who was waiting with her own umbrella and handed him his headphones to listen to music. Sometimes she really did wonder what had changed.

Lewis kept on telling himself that that feeling he got when he saw her interacting with the mechanics during race weekends wasn't jealousy. He liked to think he wasn't really a very jealous person by nature. Competitive, sure. You had to be in formula one. Stubborn, sometimes. But jealous? Not really.

So, he kept denying that it was jealousy. The reason why he joined her table for breakfast in the motorhome was definitely because there weren't any other chairs free. The reason why he asked for her opinion more now was because sometimes he still liked to bicker with her instead of appreciating her for her complete and total honesty. The reason why he glanced around for her before he entered his car wasn't because her presence was reassuring but it was just a coincidence that his eyes fell on her every time.

---

It was in Monza that the most drastic change happened. Or rather, after the race. She'd been standing in the garage, watching the race like everyone else. It had been an entertaining race so far. The McLaren's and Verstappen had been doing surprisingly well this race but Lewis had been in a good enough place too so anything could happen.

And it did. Verstappen had a surprisingly bad pitstop and that changed everything. When Lewis came into the pits to change tires, she could hear the screaming outside from the crowd as he rejoined the track afterwards. He was wheel to wheel with Verstappen now and in the end, she should have seen it coming. They had been battling all season now and they had even made contact earlier in the race. Verstappen didn't want to concede, and Lewis didn't either. So, they crashed together.

When she saw it happening, she screamed and clasped her hands in front of her mouth in shock. That could have been really bad. Especially when she saw the replay. Because the car nearly hit Lewis' head. Oh… it could have ended up so badly.

She gulped, removing her hands from her face to wring them together. She had seen bad crashes, of course she had. It always was terrifying when somebody crashed, until everyone knew they were alright.

But even now, when she saw that Lewis had gotten out of the car and he looked okay, she still had trouble grasping it. He had been incredibly lucky today. Both drivers had been. Taking a step back, she tried not to let her eyes linger on him too long when he eventually rejoined them in the garage. He looked frustrated and he was talking to Bono, gesturing wildly and shaking his head.

Deciding to leave him alone for now, she tried to identify and cope with the unsettled feeling in her chest.

Later, though, after the race, he came to lean against the counter next to her. The unsettled feeling hadn't gone away. In fact, the more she thought about it and the crash itself, the more she felt unsettled. So she didn't acknowledge him out of fear that he'd see that. He didn't need to be burdened by her feelings about the crash too. Surely, he was already feeling plenty just on his own.

When she didn't say anything to him, he frowned a little at her.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded tersely, continuing to work on the item in her hands. It needed to be finished so she could pack it away for the next race. There wasn't a lot of time to be distracted, she assured herself. She'd use that excuse to him too.

"Yeah, okay, I can see that you're not, though." When she didn't reply to him, he sighed and took the item out of her hands before setting it down on the counter on the other side of him. When he did so, she tensed up and pressed the palms of her hands against the counterspace. "What's wrong?" He asked gently, ducking his head to try and catch her eyes but she avoided it.

"Y/N…" Lewis put his hand on top of hers and squeezed it a bit to get her attention and she finally looked at him.

"It's just been a hectic day, you know. With the crash and everything." She excused, smiling briefly at him. He nodded in comprehension, frowning a little before giving her a small smile.

"I get that. I'm okay though. It wasn't that bad." Lewis tried to reassure her, but it seemed like those were the wrong words to say because she frowned and pulled her hand from underneath his.

"It wasn't that bad? Lewis, that tire could have taken your head off or something. You were extremely lucky today." She said, looking at him but being shocked when she didn't see him very clearly. She hadn't realised that her eyes had been tearing up when he had been talking before. She just hoped that they didn't fall.

"Yeah, I realise that. But Y/N… you do realise that's racing, right? That's the risk I take every time I get in that car. We all take that risk." He murmured, trying to comfort her but not quite sure how to.

"Yeah, I do realise that but…" Her throat closed up and she blinked, trying to keep the tears back. All of a sudden, she felt his arms around her as he pulled her to his chest. Rubbing her back gently, he rested his cheek on top of her hair.

"It's just… it was the first time I've seen you crash. Somehow it hit me differently when it was you. We could have lost you if it had ended differently." She cried, burying her face into his shirt and hoping he wouldn't mind. He hummed, squeezing her tighter.

"I understand. Of course I do. But you can't afford to think like that. Especially if you want to be in this sport. We just got to focus on the positive, you know. I got out okay. That's all that matters in the end. But I understand the shock. Just let it out." And he continued rubbing her back softly, letting her cry the emotions out. It was a few minutes before she pulled back, sheepishly avoiding his eyes and tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Sorry for crying on you. And thank you for being patient with me."

"Hey, look at me." He put his fingers underneath her chin, tilting it up and his eyes flitting back and forth between hers before smiling, "Don't be ashamed of what you feel. It's okay to cry. Don't beat yourself up about it." He assured her and she smiled back before clearing her throat and gesturing towards her work.

"I should probably finish that or Toto won't be happy." She chuckled and he nodded, smiling as he stepped back.

"I'll leave you to it, then."

After that, they started talking even more. He asked her if she was okay more. She brought him coffee sometimes, the way he liked it, the secret of which she had wheedled out of Angela. The woman had smiled knowingly and gave it up willingly with a wink.

They made eye contact sometimes, her and Lewis, and somehow they couldn't help but holding it a bit too long. It always left her blushing and him smiling.

He put his hand on her shoulder sometimes as they had a conversation. He even tried to make her laugh with stupid jokes, which weren't even all that funny but made her laugh out loud anyways.

They had even exchanged numbers, her smiling and blushing as she saved her number into his phone.

The first time he called her, he had the excuse of needing her opinion on a strategy, but they ended up talking for hours. That had been the first time they talked on the phone but certainly not the last. As the season progressed, they developed inside jokes that left some of the other guys in the garage confused.

At one point he had even invited her to stay in Monaco between two races, saying he would book a hotel room for her and everything. She had agreed but insisted on paying for it herself. Those few days had been such fun. She had joined him on a morning run only once because even his company wasn't worth getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning on days when she didn't have to work. He had laughed and teased her as she struggled to keep up and she stuck out her tongue and insisted that he was cheating.

They met up in coffee shops and restaurants and ended up leaving when the owners were going to close, getting too lost in their conversations to pay attention to the time. He walked her to her hotel every time and despite hoping that he'd join her upstairs, he always respectfully left after he dropped her off with a hug.

Even when he had stuff to do for the team, such as online meetings with sponsors, and she was left alone for a few hours, he kept on texting her, saying the meetings were too boring and he'd rather spend time with her.

It was when she went back home and they picked up their late night phone conversations again that it happened. They'd been talking for two hours now, and Lewis really needed some sleep because of the plane he'd be catching in the morning to the next track, so they were closing the conversation when he said it.

"Anyways, I really need to go now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Give Roscoe a big hug for me!" She said, smiling to herself when he chuckled.

"I will. Have a good night! Love you!"

"Love you t- "

They both froze on either end of the phone as they registered what they'd unconsciously said. Y/N sat up in her bed in shock. Did he just? He loved her?

She wasn't going to lie, she had been catching feelings for him. Very quickly. How could she not? He was incredibly thoughtful of her feelings and those days that she spent in Monaco with him had been absolutely amazing.

Sometimes, it seemed like only yesterday when they'd been bickering about anything and everything but when she thought about it, that had been months ago. How had time passed so quickly?

And the fact that he might reciprocate her feelings… it made her feel so warm inside. The biggest smile ever crossed her face, despite the awkward silence on the phone. She heard him breathing still though so he definitely hadn't hung up.

"Lewis? You love me?" She tentatively said, almost afraid that he'd deny it. Maybe it had been a mistake, just a reflex or something. Maybe he didn't mean it.

"Guess the cat's out of the bag, huh?" He chuckled ruefully and her heart stopped again. He just admitted it! She couldn't believe it. He really did have feelings for her. He loved her.

"Yeah… I love you too though," She admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck and blushing. She was glad that he couldn't see her right now because she was sure that she was bright red.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow? I'll come looking for you after I arrive." She continued hopefully when it remained silent on the other side of the line.

"Yeah, of course. I'll see you tomorrow." He answered and she smiled and bid him goodnight before hanging up the phone. It was hours before she fell asleep, too excited of what tomorrow would bring.

She arrived at the track early in the morning, slightly apprehensive of what was to come. She'd been excited up until she realised that she'd have to tell him face to face what she felt, and she still feared that he might change his mind. Yes, he had admitted it on the phone the previous night but talking on the phone was always different than talking to someone face to face.

She hoped that they wouldn't lose their friendship despite having admitted their feelings. She also hoped that it wouldn't hinder them during their work because she knew that, despite Toto liking her, if he had to fire someone because of this, her job was definitely the one on the line. Taking a deep breath, she tried to assure herself that everything would be all right.

Stepping into the Mercedes hospitality motorhome, she steeled her nerves as she went upstairs. She knew it was a while still before anyone would need Lewis. Meetings normally started later in the day, so they still had a bit of time.

Standing in front of his driver's room, she gently knocked on the door. There was some shuffling inside before Angela opened the door.

"Hey, Y/N. Just give me a second and I'll leave you two alone." She smiled, leaving the door open as she collected her bags. Glancing inside, she saw Lewis sitting on the couch and she blushed as she made eye contact with him. Angela's words registered in her mind, and she realised Lewis must have told her what had happened. Not that she minded because she knew Lewis and Angela were close and he appreciated her opinion.

"Hey," she greeted him, stepping aside after Angela left. Closing the door behind her, she awkwardly fidgeted with her hands for a few seconds before crossing the room and sitting next to Lewis on the couch.

She turned towards him and smiled when she saw that he was already looking at her. They opened their mouths to talk at the same time and they both laughed at it. It broke the tense atmosphere and instantly made her more comfortable.

"You go first." She insisted and he nodded, taking a deep breath before he started talking.

"I just want you to know that I did mean what I said last night. I realise that this may ruin our friendship, or this may jeopardise your job, but I don't regret saying it, even if it was an accident." He said and her chest felt warm because of his words. Before she could say anything, he continued, "The truth is, I've been feeling this way for a while now. And I-"

"Me too." She interrupted him gently and his eyes widened a bit before he said, "You too what exactly?"

"All of it. To be honest, Lewis, I'd like to think that we're professional enough to handle this. And I'd like to try exploring where this can go. If you're up for that."

He smiled in relief and nodded, making her laugh giddily. It just felt… almost surreal. When he kept sitting over there, though, with all that distance between them, she couldn't help herself from saying.

"You can kiss me, you know. If you wanted to."

And he suddenly moved forwards to press his lips against hers. Closing their eyes, they got lost in the feel of the kiss for a moment. Her hand came up to cradle his cheek and his hand pressed against her back, pulling her closer to him.

Leaning backwards again for some air, she smiled up at him and quickly kissed his lips again before engulfing him in a tight hug. Yeah, they'd be okay.

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton one shot #formula 1 #f1 #formula one driver #formula one driver one shot #formula one fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfiction #formule one one shot

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vangoghmusings · 4 years ago

Text

status | kiego takami x reader

a/n: hello! this is chapter two of my hawks multi part fic. i hope you guys are liking it so far! also, ruisu is an oc inspired by my lovely bb @lilacskyura

previously: chapter one

pairing: kiego (hawks) takami x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

warnings: cursing, sexual innuendos

links: playlist | wattpad

taglist: @mixfi @lilacskyura @katsuhoee @star-mum @moonlightinsanity @domhoni

⫷ chapter two: amateur ⫸

"So, we have a special someone who is joining us for the campaign!"

Y/N sat still with her eyes closed while the makeup artist worked on her. It was Friday, the day of the Chanel cologne campaign.

"So its a collaboration?"

Ruisu asked, looking up from her phone. Her black hair was tied back, accentuating her freckled cheekbones. If Ruisu wanted to, she could probably become a model too. However, with her analysis quirk and impeccable sense or organization, she found joy being an assistant, especially to as someone as kind as Y/N.

"Yes, he should be here shortly," The campaign directed replied.

"I should've known, it is a cologne campaign after all," Y/N mumbled while the makeup artist applied the false lashes to her lids.

"He's probably super hot," Ruisu giggled, crossing her legs and turning to Y/N. She simply rolled her eyes in response, sitting up and sipping from her iced tea.

"You know I don't like mixing my love life with work."

"What love life?" Ruisu questioned with a cocked brow. Y/N scoffed and placed her hand on her chest as if she was in agony.

"Ouch Ru, sorry I haven't found anyone up to my standards."

The hairstylist came in and greeted Y/N before getting to work.

"I just think you should put your self out there."

"I'm basically on every other billboard in Japan, how much more out there can you get?"

"I don't know!" Ruisu sighed. "I guess you're just intimidating."

Y/N took a sip from her tea and smirked.

"Good."

The stylist proceeded to brush Y/N's hair and add large amounts of gel to it, in order to attempt a "slick wet" look.

The shoot was supposed to give the look of a sensual shower scene. Glass panels, mirrors, blue lighting, and a steam machine were all prepped. The only thing that was left was semi-nude Y/N and the elusive special guest.

Once the stylist finished with her hair, Y/N stood up, tightening her robe and tossed her empty teacup in the garbage.

"He's here!" The director exclaimed and called Y/N over, Ruisu following.

Walking in and standing next to the director was a tall, tan, and fit blonde. Each step he took radiated with confidence. Y/N crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. She recognized him right away, and to say she was angry was an understatement.

"Y/N, this is the Winged Hero Hawks!"

Hawks stepped towards you and extended his hand.

"Please, just call me Keigo," He said, his voice like velvet.

Y/N pursed her lips and shook his hand politely.

"I don't work with amateurs so I hope you can keep up," She said tartly, turning on her heel and walking towards the set. Ruisu sighed and faced Keigo.

"Sorry about her, she's not too fond of heroes."

"I can tell," He replied with a slight chuckle.

Kiego was ushered to a change. The staff dressed him in tan boxers that matched his skin, the idea was to look as nude as possible. They began to apply makeup and the artists gushed at having the no. 2 hero in their presence.

Y/N eyed him and scoffed. Ruisu walked over and handed her a bottle of water. Y/N cracked it open and drank.

"You doing okay?"

"Not really," She mumbled while closing the bottle. It wasn't known amongst the media but anyone who was close to Y/N knew she had a deep-seated hatred for heroes.

When Y/N was 12, her little brother drowned at the beach. At the time, She had a broken ankle from soccer and was left with no option other than to call for help. She was sobbing and screaming, unable to help her brother. She was quirkless after all. No heroes came. Eventually, the police came, but it was too late, he had already passed. Y/N constantly beat herself up about the death of her brother. He was only 7 and was gone so quickly. As she got older, she placed more and more of the blame on heroes. No one saved him when she needed their help the most. She had no adults to help her either, her and her brother were adopted by a woman who was well on in her years. By the time Y/N was 18, her adoptive mother was already 74. Ruisu and her mother were the only people she had. Despite her fame, she was incredibly lonely.

Kiego eyed Y/N, who was ranting to Ruisu, while the stylist did his hair. Sure he had seen her on the television, news, practically every billboard in Japan, but he had never truly seen her. He would be lying if he said he wasn't excited when he was told he would be working with her. It appeared to be true what all sources had said about her. She was serious, intimidating, and meant business. But most of all, she was devilishly attractive. Being one of the top models across the globe would make that obvious, but to Keigo the shoots and photographs didn't capture how truly beautiful she looked. It would be safe to say that she was his celebrity crush. He watched as the makeup artist stepped towards her and touched up her skin. She spoke to the staff so kindly and thanked them for every little thing. She was known for being a delight on set but always willing to do her best. That kind of ambition was something Kiego admired. A lot.

"You're all set," the stylist told Kiego. He stood up and walked towards the set. The makeup artist walked over and began to apply oil to his body.

"Oh heh, that's kinda cold," He mumbled. He had done several photoshoots in the past, but nothing as sensual as this. He would be the face of this cologne, a lot was riding on his shoulders- er, wings.

Y/N glared at him and turned to Ruisu.

"This is exactly why I don't like amateurs."

"Oh c'mon be nice-"

"Does it look like I want to be fucking nice right now? They're making me shoot with this moron of a hero-"

Ruisu raised her brow and gestured to the water bottle in Y/N's hand. She sighed and rolled her eyes, opening the bottle back up and chugging.

"Just, be professional. You don't really want hero hater publicized around the world."

Y/N nodded and placed the cap back on.

"I know, I know."

"Okay, everyone! We start shooting in 5."

"Thank you 5!" The staff, Ruisu, and Y/N cheered. She handed Ruisu the water bottle and slipped off her robe. Underneath was a sheer tan two-piece, giving the slight illusion that she was in the nude. Keigo's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at the sight. She turned to face him.

"You ready?"

Keigo nodded, his usual cocky confidence coming back.

"Of course."

The two stepped onto the set. The photographer came forwards to give his instructions.

"Okay so we want seduction, we want sex, steamy, but make it gorgeous. Yes? Yes."

Kiego nodded slowly, the photographer's French accent making it difficult to understand what he was inferring.

The photographer began to pose the two models. He had Y/N press her hands and chest against a glass panel. He then had Kiego press his chest against her back. He tried his best to hide his blush.

One of the staff members turned on a speaker, playing music to add to the atmosphere of the set. The lights were dimmed and the blue lights were amplified.

"And, ACTION!"

The photographer began shooting, Y/N adjusting her poses slightly. To say she was a professional was an understatement. Behind the camera, she was pure art.

"C'mon Hawks get in there! She won't bite!"

Kiego nodded and placed an arm above her, giving a dominating effect. Y/N posed by resting her head on his chest, her lips parting slightly.

'If this is what she looks like posing, I wonder how she looks-'

"HAWKS! FOCUS! Give me more sex, more arousal! Be the alpha!"

Returning from his daze, he nodded.

"Gladly," He growled lowly.

He lowered his head and bit down on her neck, causing Y/N to gasp from shock.

"YES YES!" The photographer cheered, snapping pictures rapidly. "You own her Hawks! Your scent drives her crazy!"

Y/N tried to stay focused and ignore the misogynistic chants from the photographer. She continued to pose while Keigo became more self-assured, running his hands along the curves of her body. He was beyond happy to be paid to lay his hands all over her.

"Y/N turn! We need a new angle."

She nodded and turned to the side, giving a profile of her curves. Kiego was mesmerized, she was glowing under the blue lighting. She made it all look so easy. Y/N raised her hand to cup his cheek, posing and pressing her lips against the side of his mouth.

"YES YES YES!" The photographer cheered.

After 30 more minutes of posing, the photographer gave them a break. Ruisu tossed Y/N her water bottle as she stepped off the set.

"Hey, do you want to grab drinks after this-"

Kiego's proposal was stopped by Y/N holding up her finger as she drank from her bottle. She let out a cool "ah" and closed the water bottle.

"No." She answered curtly.

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logicalstansadvice · 3 years ago

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Star - Because he seems to lack the ability to stand-up for himself and/or be confrontational when need be, so I’m wondering if this is his indirect way of saying that. Not realizing the other implications./ This. I think he has a problem with confrontation. He doesn't know how to deal with it head on, so he makes jokes and parrgo comments. He tries to ignore but can't. Commenting on this fan post didn't help but at this point I'm not sure it could be made worse . He can't win no matter what

Anon 2: Have you considered that he is completely unrepentant for everything and sees everyone who criticizes him as the enemy? Because that’s what I think and I’m not angry either. I’m not bothering them online. It’s just depressing if he’s going to go down like that.

Anon 3: He should just be giving his socials over to a professional. He should not have responded to that or liked it. // That's exactly how I feel about it. There's some valid discussions to be had from that post around whether people are holding him accountable or just straight up bullying him. However all that liking that post has done is fire up the fans who baby his every move. Now they'll claim they're the "true" fans if they never see the reality and just blindly defend him.

Anon 4: If I was his publicist I would tie him to a chair. What is he doing? Reading blogs about himself at 3 am? This is what we have been trying to say.

Anon 5: I kinda wish he would just delete his instagram or go inactive for a few months just to see the crazy stalkers freak out😂😂what will they talk about if they can't follow his every move, every post, every like..like damn im a fan of his since 2014 but i don't care what he does in his private life like let the man fuck who he wants and live his life😂 it's not like he is going to break up with his gf to be with a fan this isn't an enemies to lovers fanfic ffs.

Anon 6: I get why y'all think he shouldn't have liked that post or featured it on his IG stories. However, I also get why he did it. It was a very thoughtful post, and as tired as we are, how tired must he be? Even if he turns it over to a professional, they're going to tell him, "Hey, Seb, you're being cancelled for the billionth time." So it's nice that he gets to see that some people are still kind and still like him. Some days it must feel horrible.

Anon 7: sorry i’m newer to this fandom — has he reposted fan accounts before as a way to “thank” them for defending him before? and it’s only made things worse? i’m getting more and more depressed the more i see if this fandom and it gave me some relief when i saw that he was at least seeing some of the more positive stuff, but now it seems like he just made the wrong choice?

Ruby Woo - anon 2, what should he be repentant about? Being papped on a yacht in Ibiza in the middle of a pandemic? Old news at this point. Nothing else he has done warrants the onslaught of hate he has received.

There is criticism and criticism but what is commented on his IG isn't criticism. It's just venom.

As for what you have all said, I would think and hope that his self-esteem wouldn't be dependent solely on his IG interactions. People will always love you or hate you, or even both at the same time, but you have to be aware of your self-worth. If you need a pick-me-up, chat to your pals, open up to your therapist, have sex with your girlfriend! Replying to a fan just incites the lovers-vs-haters debate even more and causes everyone on both sides to keep at it in the hopes of catching his attention.

#logical stans advice #logicalstansadvice #asks answered

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redheadkittys · 4 years ago

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✨get to know us better tag✨

...so i was tagged (ages ago😂) from @oceanlipgloss (thank you so much 😘 and i am very sorry to be this late)...

what do you prefer to be called name wise?

friends started to call me kitty as a nickname and that's absolutely okay for me

when is your birthday?

september 11th

where do you live?

germany

three things you're doing right now?

lie in bed, enjoying my first cup of coffee and reading some mangas

four fandoms that have your peak interest right now?

i can't speak for fandoms bc i love too many different things (it's like i'm a multifan 😆) but i always will love otome, mangas, animes (especially sport ones like haikyuu)...😏hey my blog doesn't called redheadkittys otaku room for nothing😂😂😂

how has the pandemic been treating you?

it wasn't bad for me, as a semi-introvert it wasn't really a problem not to go outside bc😁i had more time to play games (it was like paradise 🙈) and i could work from home, so i can't really say that it was treatening for me...the only thing i didn't liked was that i couldn't see my brothers and friends but luckily we're in a time with better technology so we skyped

a song you can't stop listing right now?

it's an song from alan sorrenti called figli delle stelle (it's from the 70s but it has a lot of memories bc my mom liked it very much and when i was younger she heard it a lot at home, she's gone now exactly for a year i think that's why i'm a bit sentimental)

recommend a movie?

one of my all time favs is the duelist (or hyeongsa from 2005), it's an korean movie but the fight scenes between the two protagonists is like they making love😏 and i think that's absolutely stunning

how old are you?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 i don't wanna say it🙈 but how about taking a guess yourself my dears (yep that's exactly how i look right from my bed😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂)

school, university, occupation, others?

i've learned pharmaceutical assistant but since almost 10y i work as a chief secretary in a little company

do you prefer heat or cold?

i love the summer, everything under 20degree is too cold for me😂(i really hate cold hand and feet)

name one fact about you others may find unusual?

i can switch between my professional personality and the personality i am in privacy, my workplace is even in this era determined by men you must be strong to get through them so at work i am very dominant (sometimes i don't like it but with that kind of job i have to be able to assert myself, it was hard when i started this job but with time i found out how to get the respect of the men and today i am one of them and that makes me really proud)

are you shy?

🙈 that's a question 🙈...okay no when i do things for friends or at work buuuut absolutely yes when it comes for myself especially when i like a guy (there are times i can't even look my li in the eyes without blushing like hell)

what is your favorite dere type?

i think that would be a mix of: kuudere/tsundere/mayadere/hinedere (the order is deciding)

rate your life from 1-10, 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best it could be?!?

at the moment i am at a good 8 (and i enjoy it bc we all know that life can be a fuqing rollercoaster ride)

what is your main blog?

this one even tumblr don't let me delete my first main blog bc when i do my otome (side)blog redheadkittys will be deleted too and that's a thing i don't want, so if you see redheadkitty11 that's me too!!!

list your side blog(s) and what they're used for?

in my case it's the other way around, my side blog redheadkittys is now my main blog and my main blog redheadkitty11 is my closed sideblog, you can find on my old blog: kpop/kactors

is there anything ppl need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

how should i explain my motto🤔...for me it doesn't matter who you love, from which country you are, which religion you have or skincolor bc i think we all are only humans and we should be respectful to each other but if you a racist/homophob/hater/misogynist you don't even need your breath to talk to me...so i think it's easy to be friends with me😁

...i tag: @hifftn @voltage-vixen @otonymous @ieyasuwu @vespeshadowmoon @ikesensrandomninjagirl24 @lxvescramble @shrimpalompa-reblogs @ieyasukenshinsandwich @yukihime03 @akechilisa and everyone who wants to do it 😘

#... that's the tea about me🙈...#get to know me #tag games #tag game #personal #...on queue...

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holywankenobi · 5 years ago

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SW fandom rant

To be honest, I don't really know how or where can I start talking about this. If you aren't interested in any of the Star Wars drama that is going on then skip this post, cause its gonna be long... these goes for the SW fans we are concerned about the whole situation itself. I barely have the strength to do this and exposing my opinion about certain things makes me uncomfortable but it's been a long while since I'm keeping things to myself. There's much information I have to process so please be patient with me since I barely know how to express my emotions in the right way (that's why I'm holding myself back a lot here: it will seem I'm calm... but I'm not. I'm angry and tired at the same time).

DISNEY CANON

We all know where it all started. The Force Awakens premiere in 2015. We will start from there.

As ANY star wars movie, there will be people who liked it, people who loved it and people who hated it. And there is where some fans clash with the others. Fans who enjoy practically every movie or SW related things and those fans who demonize every movie (specially the ones from the new Disney canon) and the only thing that matters for them are the episodes IV, V, VI and the Legends canon (some of them also defend the prequel episodes I, II and III, fact which I'll talk about it later). And they bash against everyone who likes the Disney sequels.

BOI IM SCARED OF TELLING PEOPLE THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE SAGA SO FAR. And I already had problems with Legends hardcore fans.

Let me tell this straightaway... Star Wars are movies for kids. They've always been. George Lucas said it. They seem to be thirsty for feeling again what they felt when they were kids whenever a SW movie comes out but they always exit the cinema with a feeling of extreme disappointment.

I was talking about the last movie with my co workers at the beginning of the year and they complaint it was "too Disney". And that's precisely what I'm trying to explain! It's ok whether you like the sequels or not like them. Everyone has his own taste. I just find funny complaining for a whole saga originally made for kids for being "too Disney". I dont know if you get my point here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEsOqEpNF0k&list=PL8SlwcJuVWR2FNtL-6Wo5QUP6LMjpNJUA

LEGENDS CANON

Then there's those who hated the prequels, that said there was nothing worse than the phantom menace, those who hated on George Lucas for doing such a crap, but now praise the prequels because Disney is satan for them and they want the old canon back. George Lucas ended up selling SW to Disney because, he ain't no fool, he knows this fanbase is one of the most toxic and ungrateful that has ever existed. And he saw it with the prequels feedback... Then they now have the guts to demand him to continue the old canon? Smells like hypocrite-crying fanboys to me.

My whole point is....It's ok if you are a new/Disney sequels fan, it's ok if you are a prequels fan, it's ok if you are a SW original movies fan, Legends canon fan, OG fan, casual fan, hardcore fan... as always you understand that not everyone will agree with your point of view, not everyone will like or think the same way as you do, or live SW the same way as you do. There's a difference between respecting and agreeing with, concepts which sometimes get mixed and taken as the same thing, which is not. Respect other fans mean "I don't agree with you but I know how much this means for you, so I won't intentionally mock you" WHICH THING LEADS US TO THE NEXT TOPIC:

JOHN BOYEGA

*takes a deep breath*

Man. I dont know. He's a full grown up man and he's behaving like a 5 yo on his social media...... John is the actor who gives life to Finn (the ex stormtrooper). It all started with this sexist comment he responded to a fan in his IG.

Then people (naturally) got offended, specially reylos. But instead of apologizing he kept on going, remarked what he said and also did a video to mock the reylo community.

You think I'm only defending a ship here but no. Its bigger than that. He has the right to feel left out in this saga because I agree with him IN THAT FACT. He is probably the actor which is more into the SW world, he was always a big fan (of the whole cast I mean). Thats why fans love him do much. And I did love him too. And he (naturally) wanted to have more spotlight on this saga ( I think Finn was one of the most wasted characters of these movies tbh) But instead of taking it the mature way he's having a tantrum on his IG because Finnrey did not become a real thing, he's trolling reylos and encouraging SW haters and antis to bully them whose are already having a hard time with TROS end (which I'll talk about later because I dont like their attitude about it either).

And it's not just raise the hate on shippers thing dude you could just apologize because you said something sexist and offended a lot of people who ship reylo and really means a thing for them. The whole thing that the greatest achievement a man can have with a woman is sex is just DISGUSTING. Rey kissed Ben but now he's gone Finn has the road clear and can fuck her? BRUH.

This is all so wrong and he was the one who started it.

ADAM DRIVER

I'm really relieved Adam does not have any social media because omg I would be suffering so much rn...

I honestly have never emotionally connected with an actor so much as I did with him. His whole acting is so good and I could really notice on this last movie. I'm starting to watch his other movies. And not just his acting, he's so professional off camera too.

I'm really happy and proud of him for his Oscar nomination, he really deserves it TT

But I'm worried this whole John Boyega thing affects him. Idk how I would feel if I were in his shoes, if my coworker was saying those things on social media and then smile at me like nothing is happening. But honestly what hurts me the most is he's having a worse time with "reylos".. I think the rumors of him having an affair with Daisy Ridley was what messed things up. I honestly dont know if its true, I've got some info but it's hard to believe. Because there are so many haters manipulating fake info that I dont trust anything and anyone anymore.

And this is where I talk about:

REYLOS AND DAIVERS

BOI OH BOI

This is gonna be hard....

First of all, I don't consider Daivers (Daisy x Adam shippers) as part of the reylo community. I'm sorry. But its fucking disgusting you going to demand Adam to divorce from his wife, abandon his son and then start dating Daisy because of this rumor or because you can't separate fiction from reality.... I read he even recieved death threats ARE WE NUTS??? They (Adam and Daisy) having a good chemistry working together doesn't mean they are in love, kids...

Driver has an awesome wife and a lovely son. Daisy is currently dating someone.

Infidelity is gross. No more. And I would be so disappointed at them if this turns out to be true. But seeing all what's happening around the actors and specially having all this haters out there... I'll say this was all false information.

Daiver is not real and won't be. So stick only to the fictional ship.....

About Reylo itself. I find REALLY funny how people who dont know shit about what this ship means say it's an abusive relationship. Bullshit. I wouldn't be shipping them if so.

Also the people still stating it's not real/canon hiding themselves behind the "Ben solo is dead lol" argument. Do you stop loving someone when they die?

Yes, they love each other. No, it wasn't always reciprocated love. They started being enemies in the force awakens, friends who understood and cared for each other through force dyad in the last jedi and ended up being lovers at the end of the rise of Skywalker. Rey wants to revenge her family (her falling to the dark side) but also wants Ben Solo back, and he wants to be the most powerful leader on the galaxy and still being kylo ren. But they eventually meet in the middle between light and dark and Leia finally reaches out to him to make him turn to the light.That's their fight. That's the angst. That's the tea. "No one is ever really gone" there's always hope. Star Wars is centered in HOPE. And their story represents it at its finest.

NOW. The reylo community.

Despite you liked it or not the end they gave to the saga... I think JJ Abrams doesn't deserve all the hate he's receiving... he probably did a lot of things wrong but seriously... just stop. Not only from reylos but the whole fandom.

Sending hate won't lead to anything now...

I enjoyed The rise of Skywalker. Indeed I spent half of the movie crying and I loved it.

You can cry as much as you want the loss of Ben (although I have hope for him still being alive in a way, there are plenty of theories) but that doesn't give you the right to death threat JJ. And I think I'll stop here cause I'm already tired.

Everyone has their own taste, preferences, favourite characters, ships, whatever. I pray for people stop judging others for their tastes, specially in this cursed fanbase. Sorry if I ever misbehaved trying to defend what I think or like. I just want this place to be supportive and safe for everyone and everything what's happening is not helping... We are all SW fans and that's our connection point. Dont discredit others for having another point of view...

I'll leave it here, but I'm open to debate or talk about anything I said in a respectful way.

#tros #tros rant #star wars rant #reylo #the rise of reylo #adam driver #john boyega #star wars 9 #star wars ix #star wars ep 9 #the rise of skywalker

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