#I'm PRETTY sure it isn't infected which is good

[depresseddepot]

okay toby was stupidly patient with me while I sort of tossed him into different positions to look at his leg and it doesn't look as bad as I previously thought. video featuring the man of the hour settling down to sleep (you cannot see the incision in the video) (also this is an old video, we've extended his collar into a Satellite since then bc he could still reach w this one)

[satoruxx]

THE SPACE BETWEEN COMFORT AND CHAOS.

✧ PAIRING: wolf!toji fushiguro x f!reader | 5k words

✧ SUMMARY: wolfhybrid!toji, hybrid au, grumpy x sunshine, animalistic behavior, bickering, mentions of injuries, hints at past violence/abuse, societal inequality, arguments, medical equipment, toji is a little less of an asshole in this lmao !!

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: and here's part three !! i didn't expect it to be this long but here we are lmao. pls make sure to read the previous parts before this one to understand what's going on !! anyways i hope you enjoy :33

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toji has only been with you for two days, and you can already confidently say that stubbornness is a staple for him.

the first morning, he had stayed in his room until you had gotten up, only ambling outside when he heard the sound of you moving around in the kitchen. it was only then that it dawned upon you that you hadn't given him anything to eat after his shower the previous night, and he watched you practically trip over yourself trying to apologize.

when you asked why he didn't just ask for food, he only shrugged his shoulders with an adamant scowl, and that's when you knew you'd have to be the one to suggest things for him. because if you don't say it, toji will not ask for it.

the first day had passed by rather unceremoniously. after you fed him a heavy breakfast, which he had tore into with no hesitation, he just lumbered back into the room and fell asleep again. you didn't really know what to do—perhaps he was just exhausted from all the injuries and spending time outdoors.

so you didn't bother him. he spent the rest of the day repeating this cycle, coming out for food and then going back in. only later at night, you had finally bothered him, telling him that you'd replace the bandages you tied the previous night after he showered.

so that's what you did, and he nodded at you in a silent goodnight before heading back in. you must've saw him for maybe two hours in the whole day.

but today your approach is different.

you'd be lying if you said you weren't concerned about his injuries, because you know there is only so much you can do with your first aid kit at home. besides toji is as silent as he is stubborn—you have no clue what other injuries he's hiding from you. and that's what you're trying to reason out with him now.

it's not going well.

"toji please," you beg, trying to push yourself into his line of sight. "i promise they'll help you."

"no. no way," he hisses back, baring his teeth. "they'll just send me back to that hellhole."

"no they won't! they'd want to help you get better!" you're feeling more and more desperate as his stubbornness rises. you're not nearly smart enough to know how to treat even a quarter of his wounds. besides, toji had been on the streets for at least over a month—isn't it smart to want a doctor to check it out?

"maybe they'd wanna help," he grunts, crossing his arms. there's a hint of panic coursing through his veins, but he masks it well with rapidly rising irritation. "but they will send me back. don't you get it? i'm a wild animal. they aren't gonna send me out to go roam the streets. they'll send me back to the ring because they know i'll be kept under control there."

your shoulders slump, watching as he takes a seat on your couch—he keeps himself pressed to the very corner of it, and that just makes you feel more miserable. you take a seat on the other side, keeping your distance.

"okay, no big hospitals," you acquiesce. "but i definitely don't know how to fix those kinds of injuries."

toji half-heartedly shrugs, a wry smirk tugging at his scarred lips. "who cares? i'm tough, they'll heal."

you grimace. "definitely not. they'll probably get infected."

toji holds up his bandaged arm with a canine grin. "what d'ya mean? you did a pretty good job with this."

you pout at that, oddly embarrassed, but you remain steadfast in your argument. "all i did was disinfect it and wrap it up. but that doesn't mean that's all it needs. what if you need stitches or something?"

toji sighs heavily, fingers loosely curling around his wounded arm. he won't deny that you've been spectacularly caring for him over the past two days. and it's not like he really wants to upset you or anything.

but he has gone through too much to risk even a chance at being thrown back underground.

"i'll live," he sighs. he doesn't know much about being polite, but he does know that he doesn't enjoy the idea of being mean to you. for some reason he thinks that would just make him feel shitty. he's not sure why though—he's never been interested in what humans think anyway.

your eyes narrow, aggrieved. "if i find someplace that won't turn you in, then will you come?"

your relentless pursuit makes toji want to roll his eyes. he's not sure why you don't just take no for an answer. but he wants you to drop the conversation, so he just replies with a huffed, "sure."

there's no place you could take him that wasn't going to rat him out anyway. if you wanted to give him medical care, they would always ask for his details. and when they find out that he's not yours, and that he's come from off the streets, they will no doubt send out an alert.

and then it's only a matter of time before he's being thrown in the back of a van, drugs pumping through his veins.

he'd much rather stay in your cozy little space for as long as you'll let him, drunk off the comfort of good food and a roof over his head.

but toji did not realize that he had severely underestimated your sense of determination.

and that's how he finds himself sitting in an examination room, with you nervously tapping your foot against the floor. the muscles in his face hurt from how long he's been glaring at the wall, too angry to look at you. he knows you probably mean well, but he's almost sure that he'll never see you again after this appointment.

he's prepared to be dragged out of the building by a group of guards holding heavy tranquilizer guns—like so many of his kind before him.

"you're still mad." you say it like a statement, unamused, and toji huffs in return.

"you're underestimating how strong i am." he gives you a sidelong glance, and you bristle, crossing your arms and giving him a defiant stare.

"i think you're overestimating how strong you are." you shake your head, the defiance melting into earnest. "seriously though. i don't know much about treating wounds and i really don't want it to get worse."

he throws you an indifferent glance. "what's the point if they just send me back down there? at that point, little scrapes won't fucking matter."

you purse your lips. "i'm telling you, no one will snitch here."

"how are you so sure?" toji hisses back, ears pointing upward. you don't flinch, opening your mouth to answer.

"well—"

a knock interrupts you, and you both look to the door. toji's hackles rise almost immediatley, a low growl rumbling in his throat—something is off.

he can smell it.

the doctor walks in, blonde hair neatly pushed back and large frame covered in a white coat. his smile is friendly and mature, demeanor calm, and yet all toji can focus on is that this doctor is not human.

the short and rounded brown ears sitting atop his head is a clear indication.

toji almost hops off the bed. he has half a mind to take your arm and drag you out of there because why on earth is there a predator hybrid here at the doctor's office?

but before he can make a move, you're smiling wide at the blonde, voice coming out sweet and casual. "hi kento."

toji blanches, watching this "kento" guy exchange pleasantries with you like it's the most natural thing in the world.

do you just make it your business to go out and become friendly with dangerous predator hybrids? because toji cannot understand how a little human like you knows a fucking bear hybrid so well.

"is this him?" the doctor asks, finally looking at toji perched on the examination bed. you nod mutely, eyes raking over his figure.

the blonde steps forward, reassurance rolling off of him in waves because he can probably smell toji's apprehension. you do your best to bridge the gap.

"um toji, this is kento nanami." you motion to the blonde, who is watching toji like he's a specimen under a microscope—it makes toji's skin prickle. "kento, this is toji…um…"

he realizes that you're missing information and he spits out his last name quickly. "fushiguro."

"pleasure to meet you," nanami nods courteously. "though i wish it was under better circumstances."

"you're a hybrid." toji blurts it out before he can think twice. you throw him a semi-disapproving glance, but he doesn't pay it any mind, gaze too focused on the doctor's clearly animalistic traits. he recieves a placating smile in return.

"i am," kento nods, looking down at the chart in his hands. "and it seems like you are too. wolf right?"

"yeah," toji nods absentmindedly, trying to brush past all of this. he's more curious about the bear so casually standing in front of him. a hybrid even being allowed into a position as highly respected as a doctor is already an amazing feat—that hybrid being a predator hybrid was even more shocking.

"like i said on the phone, he's got some cuts and scrapes on his stomach and arm. i didn't know how serious they were…" your voice trails off, and the blonde nods indulgently.

"it's good you brought him in. they might be infected or need further care."

he turns to toji, whose ears remain alert and upright, and picks up his stethoscope. when he approaches, toji bares his teeth, snarling.

he can see you grimace from his peripheral. "toji—"

"it's okay," nanami holds up a palm, before pinning toji with an unwavering stare. "you're worried about confidentiality right?"

"there's no way a fucking doctor can get around this," toji spits in return. his palms are sweating. all he wants to do is drag you out of there and go hide in your home, because there is no other place that is safe. "i don't trust you."

"you don't have to trust me. but…" the doctor subtly nods his head in your direction. "do you trust her?"

toji's eyes flicker over to yours, watching the tense worry swirl within them, and he grumbles incoherently. his stomach flips in on itself. nanami takes his reluctance as a go ahead, pressing the metal of the diaphragm against toji's chest.

the wolf remains silent, though he is still irritated.

"relax," nanami sighs. "i won't tell anyone. trust me, i know how hard it is to make it out of there."

toji watches with rapt attention as kento lifts his stethoscope off, and his green eyes zero in on the branded numbers burned just under the doctor's jaw—0703.

toji's skin tingles, just where his own numbers are burned. 1231.

bile rises in his throat, but he pushes it down.

"you got out," toji mumbles, not able to keep the surprise out of his tone. nanami nods, a soft smile on his face as he writes down toji's heartrate on his chart.

"about seven years ago." he nudges his glasses further up his nose. "i made a run for it and then laid low for a few months. after some time, they called off the search."

"huh," toji grunts, disbelieving. he's not quite sure how this guy has managed it, but clearly he's done something right to be standing in front of him.

"of course, i was lucky," kento laments, motioning for toji to hold out his wounded arm—he does so wordlessly. "i was not an extremely popular or sought out fighter, so they didn't put that much effort into trying to find me."

toji believes that. bears tend to be on the gentler side of the predator groups, and while he's sure nanami could easily handle himself in a fight, it is always the more aggressive hybrids that are the most popular.

he would know after all.

"after that, it was just about finding another place to build up my life again." toji barely registers that the doctor has begun numbing his arm, too focused on his anecdote. from the corner of his eye, he can see that you're listening in with rapt attention. "i decided i'd make use of my freedom and pursue my dream career."

you and toji spend the next half an hour listening to nanami talk about his experiences. all the while, the doctor skillfully stitches toji's wounds up, never once faltering in his movements. he talks about the escape plan, the relentless pursuit of soldiers, of remaining in hiding until freedom was finally found. toji feels an odd sense of camaraderie, knowing that he has gone through quite a similar process in the last few months.

nanami explains that laying low was the hardest part, always on edge while stepping into the light because you can never be sure who's hiding in the shadows.

toji will never say this out loud, but thank god he found you.

"since then i've made it my job to help others like me," kento finally finishes securing the bandages around toji's abdomen, before looking up with a half smile.

the wolf mutely stares back. he recognizes that his body has relaxed in the doctor's presence, and his gaze flickers up to meet yours. there's a look of satisfaction sitting in your eyes, probably relieved to see that his wounds have actually been taken care of.

when you notice him looking, you give him a soft smile—he expertly looks away.

"trust me. i won't tell anyone about you." nanami stands up straight, fixing his glasses, before giving you a warm smile. "besides, she's an old friend."

the doctor nods at you, and toji suddenly feels a strange streak of irritability, especially because you beam in return—so grateful and sweet. a stone sits heavy in the wolf's stomach.

"i really appreciate this, kento." you look at the blonde earnestly. "it took a lot of convincing to get him to come get checked out."

"it's good you did." nanami pins toji with a knowing stare. "conditions are rough back there. usually hybrids have more injuries than they know."

"really?" you look between the two of them meekly, and toji has half a mind to tell nanami to stop talking—worry is not a good expression on you.

"they don't usually treat their hybrids when they get injured in fights. so yes, a lot of them tend to have past injuries that don't quite heal." you nervously assess toji's body with your eyes, and the wolf can hear the soft chuckle nanami lets out. "don't worry. he's fine."

your shoulders relax, and toji watches you with rapt attention.

a few minutes later, nanami leads you both to the receptionist, who toji notices, is a dark haired mouse hybrid—ijichi kiyotaka is printed across his nametag. the doctor quietly explains something, and the mouse nods, before typing away into the computer. toji realizes that they are probably falsifying records, and he relaxes immediately. while you settle things at the counter, nanami addresses toji one last time.

"you'll need to come back in a week so i can see the wounds again. until then, just take care of it like i explained and you should heal nicely."

toji nods, ears twitching awkwardly. "right…"

"if anything else happens, don't hesitate to come in." the doctor adjusts his glasses with a friendly smile. "you're always welcome. be careful out there."

toji swallows. he is already unused to such blatant kindness, but now you've managed to surround him with it. maybe your stupidly sweet personality attracts similarly sweet people.

in that sense, maybe he shouldn't be allowed to stay around you, too dark and gloomy for someone so bright.

nanami takes the wolf's silence with a soft laugh, before he raises his hand to wave at you. you grin back, before heading for the door—toji immediately follows you out. the two of you walk in relative silence, quiet but not uncomfortable.

his body feels good now, probably because of the numbing agent and secure bandages, but regardless, he feels good. he has not felt this comfortable in a long time, but it's not completely unwelcome. as weird as it sounds, he thinks that he wouldn't mind being the silently hulking animal wandering the city at your side.

there is one thing he's itching to ask though.

"how do you know him?" toji asks casually, still staring straight ahead. he can feel your gaze land on him, but he does not reciprocate it.

"kento?" he bristles at the name, but nods. "oh well. a few years ago my friend had to leave for a two week long business trip. she has a puppy hybrid at home, and of course her hybrid knows how to take care of herself, but my friend told me to go visit her and just check if she was okay every few days."

there's a strange look of sympathy on your face as you speak, and toji reels at how easy it is for him to pick up.

"when i went over one day, i found her just passed out on the ground. i had no clue what to do. hybrids might look like us humans but their health and anatomy is a little different, and i didn't know a single thing about puppy hybrids. so i went online and looked up specific doctors and hospitals that were good for hybrids because i was too nervous to just take her to a regular hospital. that's how i found kento."

your lips quirk upward, half rueful and half fond. "i figured a doctor who was an actual hybrid would treat her better than a human doctor would."

toji listens quietly. he does not know many humans who would put this much consideration into hybrids, mostly because hybrids are kept as pets, not considered as equals. he cannot understand why you thought so deeply about a hybrid that wasn't even yours.

"anyways since then i've bothered kento with a lot of things." you chuckle to yourself. "like last year there was a stray cat in my alleyway with a broken paw, and i brought him to kento even though i could've just taken him to a vet or a shelter."

"why's that?" toji awaits your asnwer, ears twitching at the sound of your amused voice.

"kento's always been really sweet and gentle to his patients. i guess i just trust him." you turn to peer up at toji with a smile. "that's why i knew he wouldn't even think about ratting you out."

toji grunts in return, not wanting to admit that you're probably right. any other hospital or doctor would have to report that there was a wolf hybrid out there that was unaccounted for. since you are not his owner, they'd immediately throw him back where he came from—after all, predators like him are too dangerous to be left alone.

"if anything, you can visit kento for whatever. he'd keep your secret."

"you willing to bet on it?" toji asks you gruffly, and you smirk at him with a strange spark of challenge in your eyes.

"bet my life."

he grins—another feral display of animalistic behavior.

"that's a lot to bet," he comments, flashing his canines at you, and you nod back, pleased.

"i'm pretty confident in myself."

"hm." toji lips remain in their comfortably amused position. he briefly recognizes that his feet are automatically taking him back to your place, and he internally questions just how many times he has found his way back to you before.

"we have another stop to make." toji glances at you as you speak, raising a heavy brow.

"where's that?"

"clothing shopping."

he blinks, frowning. "why the fuck would we do that?"

"well since you're staying for at least a couple weeks until your wounds heal, you probably need clothes," you say matter-of-factly. "the pair of clothes i gave you are the only things i have. you need more."

he briefly wants to ask whose clothes those are, but he shuts his mouth, knowing it's none of his damn business. he can still smell them, the smell of some other man—his lip curls distastefully.

"i don't gotta stay with you for that," he mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets. he can feel his claws scrape against the fabric. "i can just go back to your precious doctor myself when i need to."

"and who's gonna pay for the visit?" you ask dryly. toji bristles, heat prickling at the back of his neck. you sigh heavily.

"look, i'm telling you i don't mind." your voice is earnest, and he can feel your unrelenting stare on the side of his face. "i would feel really uneasy if you left and i didn't know what happened to you."

"why do you care so much anyway?" toji doesn't mean to sound so accusatory. he's now realized that you are just one of those stupidly rare good people, but even then he wonders why you don't just kick him to the curb and move on with your life.

but instead you frown at him, semi offended, and then roll your eyes.

"well…" you shrug nonchalantly. "we're friends. so i care."

friends.

toji almost scoffs in disbelief.

unsurprisingly, you are utterly ridiculous. he knows that you both have shared conversation for many weeks while he waited for food in your alleyway. and he realizes that he has stupidly memorized your schedule, so much so that he found himself waiting in the rain when you didn't get home on time. and sure, you had so tenderly and idiotically invited him into your space and treated his dirtied body with the utmost care.

but friends?

you really needed better survival instincts. and to stop being so trusting. it's stupid, and dangerous, and probably not good for you in the long run.

(but the word ignites a pleasant flame deep in toji's belly—unwavering and strong. he finds himself unable to extinguish it.)

an hour later, toji finds himself awkwardly rummaging through racks and shelves of clothing. the bright lights and intense air conditioning makes his hair stand on end, body feeling oddly exposed. but then his jade eyes scan the store and find your figure, curiously peering at items without a care in the world, and he relaxes a bit.

after a while of picking out a few dark and albeit plain pieces of clothing, he finds that shopping is somewhat enjoyable. the different textured fabrics are soft under his claws, and his ears twitch pleasantly at the sounds of music playing low through the speakers.

occasionally he'll look up from the shelves and see you in the distance—a few times you look back, and give him a sweet smile and a small wave that has his throat feeling strangely dry.

(it would be easy to devour something so openly waiting there.)

he immediately looks away.

toji briefly wonders what kind of clothes you tend to prefer, mind wandering. he bites back a huff of amusement when he thinks about the fluffy pajamas you were wearing when you came outside holding that stupid umbrella.

so damn silly.

"do they seriously just let animals roam around unsupervised?"

his moment of peace is shattered by a grating voice, shrill with age and obnoxiousness. toji turns to look over his shoulder, expression sour. though he towers over her, the old lady standing about five feet away from him looks anything but scared.

"you talkin' to me?" he raises a brow, hair standing on end.

"yes you," she sniffs in his direction, eyeing him from head to toe like he's nothing more than dirt on the bottom of her ugly boots. "animals aren't allowed indoors."

toji bristles, sharp eyes narrowing. despite being used to these comments, they still make his skin flare with heat. he briefly considers reacting how he normally does when he faces this kind of attitude—baring his teeth and spitting out growls and insults until the person is scared shitless.

but then he realizes that it's not like he can just snap at her and run away. his actions will so easily be traced back to you and your pristine smiles. he finds the idea of putting you in trouble to be nauseating.

so he bites his tongue, ears tense and flicking irritably—he's making decisions on your behalf now, too.

"i don't know how on earth they let you in here." she glares at him snootily, physically unable to shut up. "letting animals wander around without any—"

"actually he's mine."

toji turns to look at you as you take your place at his side, your voice clear and steady. warm fingers curl around his bicep comfortably, but there is ice in your expression that he has never seen before. you glare at the lady, who suddenly looks bashful.

"oh? that's so impressive. you managed to tame a beast this dangerous?"

he suppresses an eye roll, ready to walk you away from the ordeal, but your expression gets colder, anger radiating off of you in waves—toji does not know why it makes him so pleased.

"actually i didn't tame him at all," you hiss back, spitting the word like it's venom. "and if you make him mad i won't stop him from attacking you."

her face pales, but indignation comes off stronger. "excuse me? you don't know how to control your own pet?!"

"he's not my pet. he's his own person," you snap irritably, gaze cold—though toji can feel your heated aggression rising. "didn't you ever learn basic respect? for all your preaching, even hybrids know that better than you do."

she gapes at you, appalled, but before she can get another word in, you're tightening your grip on toji's arm and turning him away. "fuck off, bitch."

toji's ears twitch at the sounds of her angry sputtering in the distance, but his gaze remains zeroed in on you. your brows are pinched deep, and there's a frustrated scowl sitting on your lips as you drag him over to another section. "here, let's look at some of these clothes."

toji recognizes you are trying to change the subject, but he does not deny how your anger on his behalf feels so intoxicatingly addicting. he cannot help but push further.

"thought i would attack her, did ya?" he grins cheekily, canines glinting, and you huff. suddenly, you look rather embarrassed, peering up at him bitterly.

"i was just trying to get her to shut up. if you attacked anyone we'd be in big trouble."

"didn't realize you had that in you," toji ponders. for some reason, he cannot stop analyzing your microexpressions, finding some sick joy in looking at you. "not bad for a cushy little human."

you roll your eyes—toji's stomach flips in tandem. he can feel his tail lazily moving back and forth.

"wow, a compliment from the big bad wolf," you throw him a scathing smile, but he can tell you're joking. "what an honor."

"pretty sure you're scarier than i am." toji watches you rustle through the clothes on the shelves, a wry smile now comfortably resting on his face. "think you took a few years off her life."

"i hope she trips," you mutter, and toji barks out a laugh, clear and unfiltered. your lips twitch upward at the sound.

"hurry up and pick stuff so we can home," you whine with another huff, shoving at his arm. "i'm starving here."

the word home rolls over toji's body—it's warm and velvety and comfortable in a way that scares him.

he spends the next fifteen minutes rustling through the racks. you amble away to peer at other items while he does so, trying to give him his privacy. toji both appreciates it and resents it—something about you being farther away from him makes his body tense.

after a while he calls you back, shoving a modest pile of clothing into your hands. "here, i'm done."

he's hoping you just nod and take him to the counter, but yet again, he's underestimated you. you look through each item, peering at the price tags critically, before finally sighing.

"are you trying to pick cheap stuff on purpose?" you look at him with a raised brow and he groans—caught.

"i don't wanna put you out."

"ugh toji," you say his name with so much stressed exasperation he has to fight back a grin. "don't worry about that. i barely spend money to begin with. i promise you i can afford decent clothes."

he glances to the side, stubborn. he still does not particularly enjoy the idea of being indebted to you—not that he would ever say that out loud.

"if you don't pick honestly, i'm gonna find that lady and get her to annoy you again."

he blinks, looking at you and your haughtily raised brows and crossed arms.

"oh fuck please don't," toji groans, rolling his eyes. "she was—"

"a bitch?" you finish, shaking your head with a smile. "yeah she was. so please pick things out properly and don't make me go find her."

"fine," he relents, reaching out to pick up the first semi-expensive looking thing he can find. he holds it up to his body and throws you a mocking grin. "happy now?"

and yet when he looks at you, you're giving him the most genuine smile, satisfaction glimmering in your eyes. "yeah, really happy."

his mouth goes dry, and toji spends the remainder of the trip saying yes to everything you pull off the shelves for him.

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[batmanisagatewaydrug]

(The question I am asking is mainly from a perspective of having a vagina, but maybe it can apply to other genitalia as well)

How come I can't give myself a uti masturbating? Or can I? I got quite a few utis when I was a teen and no one was quite sure why (I'm fine now). I wasn't sexually active with other people, but I asked my doctor if it was possible to get a uti from masturbating without thoroughly washing your hands or w/e, and she said no.

I know that it's possible to get a uti from penetrative sex with either a penis or someone's fingers, because like it spreads bacteria from one hole to another and stuff. I've also heard that if you don't clean your sex toys/clean them with generic soap rather than the specific liquids, you can get a uti. So considering all this, I'm not sure why it would be impossible for me to give myself a uti? Isn't it the same as being fingered by someone else, as far as hygeine is concerned?

hi anon,

so, simple reason why you're much more likely to get a UTI from sex with other people than from having sex with yourself: they got different germs than you do.

whenever you come into contact with other people, no matter how clean they are, you're gonna get some kind of new germ introduced to your body, and your body might not take it very well. hell, you don't even have to come in direct contact for that to happen; there's a reason I almost always come home from conferences with a minor cold!

sex is considered a risk factor for UTIs - literally just any sex involving your genitals - because any time someone new gets up close and personal with your genitals there's a chance some of their new, funky bacteria could get into your urethra. your body is pretty good at knowing what to do with the bacteria that's already inside of it, but when you add some new stuff in shit has the potential to get crazy. for the most part, you're unlikely to introduce something totally new to your body when you touch yourself, whereas other bodies are bringing all new shit into the equation that's much more likely to trigger an infection.

having said that, I wouldn't say it's strictly IMPOSSIBLE to give yourself a UTI, since it's all a matter of bacteria. if you fall in the swamp and then fingerblast yourself without cleaning off, there's a huge chance your urethra (and vagina) won't like that very much! keeping your hands, sex toys, and anything else that will be touching your genitals clean is still super important!

you don't need to use a special toy cleaner, though; people who say that are mostly trying to sell special toy cleaners. the best method of cleaning sex toys depends on their materials; you can find a handy guide for that here, but suffice to say hot water and fragrance free soap will do just fine for silicones and hard plastics. the more important factor re: sex toy safety is making sure not to buy any toys made of permeable material that will soak up bodily fluids, as these are impossible to sanitize 100% and can foster the growth of bacteria and even mold in your toys, at which point a UTI is likely the least of your problems.

[imfinereallyy]

Bedside Manner

for @acasualcrossfade request for "the infection has spread"

"Some birdie told me that you have been causing a fuss, Wayne, is that true?"

Wayne huffs from his hospital bed, glasses sliding down his nose. He places the newspaper he was reading on the table beside him. "You tell that Robbie of yours to stop exaggerating. It was only a small request."

Steve raises his eyebrows at his favorite patient (Dustin tells him he isn't supposed to have favorites, but he also used to cry anytime he picked up Max before him when they were younger, so what does he know) and gives him a knowing look. "Robin listens to no man, Wayne, you know this. You're better off sending that message through her wife. Besides, small? She was telling me you refused to have any other nurse help you because I wasn't here last night. Which surprised me since you are always pushing me on about taking a vacation. "

Wayne opens his mouth, but Steve presses on. "And the fact Robin was even in the room means they called a psych consult, so I can only imagine how bad it was."

Wayne grumbles like a little kid being scolded for getting his hands caught in the cookie jar. "Yea, well, it was a bad night, kid."

Steve feels his shoulders sag, he takes off his glasses and rubs a hand down his face before placing them back on. "Sorry, Wayne, I had a bad migraine last night. Nance and Robs wouldn't even let me pass the entrance. Bad news?"

"Kid, don't stress yourself out over me. I'm just your patient, and more so, I am just a cranky old man." Wayne patted Steve's knee as he sat down next to him.

"C'mon, Wayne. You're more than that. I'd like to think seeing you in and out of here the last year has made us friends. Although I gotta say, you're the only friend I have that I'll be glad if I don't get to see again, given the circumstances. So, what's the news?"

"The infection has spread."

Steve takes in a deep breath, he tries not to panic, but any infection in a hospital can be deadly, especially for a cancer patient like Wayne. "Incision site?"

Steve must not be as good at hiding his emotions as he used to be because Wayne jumps to ease his worry. "No, kid, don't worry. The surgery was a success. Just got that hospital fever, the good old bronchitis. But it just means I'm here longer than I have to. It also means my nephew is on edge, and I don't know if I can take a second longer of his hovering."

Steve laughed wetly, thankful for the topic change. "Ah yes, the mysterious nephew of yours that I've never met. The way you talk about him almost tempts me into switching to the day shift, sounds like he might be entertaining. But only almost."

"Always wondered why you were always working the nights, most of the others seem to switch. Not a big fan of the day?"

Steve shakes his head gently, "No, I like the quiet here at night. Like getting to know the patients without having to worry about fixing ten million things. Don't get me wrong, it has its downfalls. Like the doctors can be horrible at night, never tell Dr. Wheeler that or Robbie will kill me, and the food is awful. But there is something special about it here at night. So sorry, your ridiculous nephew isn't enough to tempt me."

Wayne smirked, "What if I told you he was a looker and single?"

Steve blushes slightly. He is used to patients trying to pawn him off to their relatives, it came with being a young male nurse, but typically it didn't phase him. But Steve has become close with Wayne, so hearing him suggest he get together with his nephew has him flustered. "I'm good, Wayne, thanks. Gave up on the dating scene a while ago. Not many people can keep up with a guy who works nights and suffers from severe head trauma."

"Shame, Eddie likes the nights too. I'd reckon yal would get along."

"I'm pretty sure we would need more than that, Wayne."

Wayne smiles fondly at Steve. "You don't need a whole lot to build a connection, son. Me and Linda, god rest her soul, only started dating for our mutual love of mugs. And we may not have had long together, but our love was strong. Besides, there is more yal would have in common than just the night shift."

Steve huffs a laugh, "Oh yea, like what?" The least he can do is humor the man.

"Well, you both care about me deeply."

Steve blushes again, "C'mon, Wayne. I'm your nurse. I'm kinda paid to care."

Wayne won't hear any of it, "No, son, it's more than that. You take your break in here every night. You make sure to record the game at home for me because they only have the news here. And last night, you tried to come in with a migraine, even though we both know I am the only patient you can stand right now."

Steve doesn't know what to say back. Wayne is right, of course. Steve has been spending all of his time with the man, giving him extra care. Steve isn't bad with his other patients, he goes above and beyond most of his coworkers, but there is something special about Wayne.

"You got nothing, kid, you know I'm right. Remind me a lot of my nephew. Before visiting hours ended is when I got the news of having to stay longer. Kid almost threw a fit when they kicked him out. Swore he was gonna break in to stay the night with me. I told him not to worry since you would be there, I brag about you too, ya know. When he found out today you weren't here, that boy threw a fit again. Swear he gets his tantrums from his father. Said he was gonna sneak back in tonight. Make sure I had company. That 'the man' couldn't stop him. That if he ran into you, he was gonna have a word with you."

Steve can't help the snort that shakes his body, "I'd like to see him get passed Hop first."

Wayne starts to chuckle, too, "Eds may have had his fair share of escaping the law, but no man moves as fast as Jim in a security uniform."

Steve is fully laughing now, "I know, right? It's like those pants make him aerodynamic or something. No way your nephew is getting by."

It is almost as if Steve's words summon what happens next. There in the doorway is the most gorgeous man he's ever seen, even though he is bent over and out of breath.

"Eds?" Wayne questions, clearly surprised. Steve has to mask his face and quickly before Wayne catches him ogling his nephew. Steve is finding it difficult, though. The man, Eddie, despite his out-of-breath appearance, is stunning. His long curly hair is thrown up in a bun, showing off the piercings up his ears. His clothes are simple but suiting, ripped jeans and a black band tee. Tattoos cover his entire body, and Steve wants to ask about every single one of them.

The most surprising thing about him isn't that he got by Hop (although he has questions for that later), no the most surprising thing to Steve is that Wayne somehow knew his exact type, which most people assume wrong in that department.

Eddie awakens an old craving inside Steve that he thought he had buried long ago.

"Wayne, you would not believe what I just went to get up here. The story I have for you, oh boy. You're gonna love it. Who knew security guards could move that fast. Anyway, I hope that nurse boy of yours is here tonight because I am ready to—" Eddie stops mid-rant when his eyes land on Steve, a lovely blush blossoming across his pale cheeks.

"I believe what you are trying to say is, what was it, Wayne? Oh yea, 'have a word with me,'" Steve laughs softly.

Eddie sputters, "Wayne!?!" His blushing becomes deeper as the seconds pass by.

Wayne just chuckles as Steve stands. "Don't be mad at your Uncle, I think he was just trying to make me feel better. I am sorry I wasn't here last night for the news. Got my head knocked around too much as a kid—" Steve taps his head with his knuckles, "—so I suffer from migraines sometimes. I really did try to come in, but well—you met Jim. He's pretty fast." Steve worries his lip. Eddie's eyes follow.

"Well, I can't be too mad now, can I?" Eddie swallows nervously before a smirk spreads across his face, switching from shy to confident in two seconds flat. Steve shouldn't be turned on by that. "The pretty face helps too. I'm pretty sure you could convince me to give you my kidney right about now. I'm Eddie, which I know you know by now, and you are...?"

Steve puts his hand out for a shake, "Nurse Harrington. But most people call me Steve."

Eddie grabs his hand gently and brings the back of it to his lips. "Stevie, a pleasure, really." A light kiss is placed on Steve's knuckles. Stevie, he thinks. That's a new one. And he isn't mad about it, at all. In fact, the butterflies in his stomach want him to get Eddie to say it again.

Steve catches Wayne's smug face in the corner of his eye as Steve begins to blush again.

"I'm just gonna—I'll be right back." Steve stutters.

"Leaving so soon?" Eddie says disappointed.

Steve has the sudden urge to fix the frown on his face. "No, no! Just, uh, gonna call Jim and tell him not to send out a search party. That it's okay if you stay. I'll keep an eye on you."

Eddie's face breaks out into a brilliant smile, "Really, Stevie? You gonna keep me around?"

Steve's heart skips a beat, "If I can help it."

***

[luveline]

More zombie au! Steve!!! Please! It’s literally so good I love how you write Steve all protective <3

thank you ♡ steve zombie au —steve gets sick. you meet a dark-haired stranger while looking for meds. fem!reader 2k

You compare your arm to the bottle in your hand. You've written a list of generic and brand name antibiotics in biro on your forearm, but they're smudging from nervous sweat. You're getting desperate. 

Nothing seems to match. You're shaking with aching arms and legs, fucking terrified as you sift through a floor of orange and white pill bottles that nothing is going to match your list, and worse, the pharmacy grows darker by the hour. You don't have a torch. 

Things are getting pretty bad at camp. There's not enough food to go around, no batteries, and now Steve's… 

A bottle slips out of your hand and knocks into another. You cringe and pick up the next. You've been searching for hours without sitting down, as hiding underneath the bottles is a carpeting of grainy glass from the smashed shelves. Three of your fingertips have cut and scabbed since you got here. 

"Fuck," you whisper, glaring at another wrong medication. "Fuck, fuck." 

Amoxicillin, ciprofloxacin, flucloxacillin. Anything to stop Steve's infection from getting into his blood. It's a gross wound, oozy and inflamed, and when you'd left him with Robin dutiful at his side his skin had glowed with heat like glass held in the centre of a furnace. Even with his eyes closed, he'd known what you were about to do. 

"Don't fucking leave," he'd grit out, fingers twitching up for your hand. 

You'd leaned forward and kissed his damp forehead. "I have to go. I love you. I'll be right back." 

That was ten hours ago at least. You have no idea what condition Steve might be in, so sure you'd find the pills and be back in arm's reach by noon. How sick can he get before it's too much? 

"Shit," you whisper, your fingers tingling. 

"What are you looking for?" 

You fall backward with a sharp gasp, pill bottles biting into your thighs. Your face swings around but the source of the voice is unclear, empty shelves and aisles either side of you. 

"Chill out–" 

"Where the fuck are you?" you demand, scrambling onto your feet with the use of one sacrificed palm. Glass like needles serrates your skin. "Fuck! Come out, loser!" 

"Hey, no need to be mean. I'm up in the ceiling." 

You look up. Peeking out from a displaced ceiling tile is a pale face silhouetted by a matt of dark hair. 

"You fucking little freak," you say, though you feel bad immediately. He's smiling and he isn't pointing any weapons at you, which is more than most strangers allow on the road. "Why are you up there?"

"I wanted to see if you had a gun, stupid." 

"You're stupid, stupid. What if it was in my bag?" 

"Point it at me, then!" 

You stare at him in silence. 

"That's what I thought," he says, framing a face in two hands like a baby angel on a gift card. "Can I come down or are you gonna keep bitchin'?" 

"Don't fucking come down here." 

"Or what?" he asks. 

"I'll get my gun out." 

"Mm, okay," he mocks. "I'll come help you find whatever it is that has your panties in a twist." 

"I swear to god–" 

"Listen. I'm a good guy, I swear." 

"That's what bad guys say." 

The stranger laughs a weird giggly laugh and climbs backwards. The ceiling tiles stress visibly under his weight but make no noise as he disappears from view. He swears a couple of times on the way down, unseen, before the stockroom door swings open and he appears in his intimidating glory in the doorway.

"If you kill me," you say, eyeing his spiked wristbands and the machete strapped to his waist with horrified apprehension, "my boyfriend will avenge me. Like, hunt you to the ends of the earth and slice you into little tiny pieces of vengeance." 

"That sounds like my kind of party, but your boyfriend has nothing to worry about. I got a girl." 

"Don't say rock and roll." 

"How the fuck would you guess that?" he asks, hand flying to the back of his neck for a bashful scratch. 

"My life feels like a shitty gimmicky horror movie, and you look the part." You bite the inside of your cheek. "I need antibiotics." 

"You and everybody else in the world. This for your vengeful boyfriend?" 

You don't need him knowing who they're for. He could be an evil guy, and the threat of Steve waiting for you might be your trump card. "No. My vengeful boyfriend left to look for cans in the shelter." 

"He'll be back soon, then." 

You take a step back. "I'll gouge your eyes out if you try anything, I'm serious. I don't care how big your knife is–" 

"I'm Eddie." Eddie smiles at you, shoving his hands into cargo pockets. Despite his weird questions and his choice of apparel, he looks less intimidating in the lingering light of the setting sun as it seeps between window shutters. "I don't want to hurt you." He frowns. "Any kind of hurt." 

"Can I have the machete?" 

"Nope. I can go put it down somewhere, though, if that's less scary." 

You shake your head, and with a great big sigh, lean down to sift through bottles. If he's going to hurt you, he might as well get on with it. The longer you spend talking to him, the sicker your Steve becomes. 

"You need antibiotics bad?" Eddie asks, his voice softening. 

"My best friend is sick." You toss a bottle, pick up another. "Infection probably getting into his blood. If I don't find something tonight, he's gonna die." 

"Well, we can't have that," Eddie says, crouching down to help. 

You sweep through bottle after bottle of things you wish you needed. Painkillers, sleeping pills, laxatives. Good shit, and nothing you need. 

"You know…" Eddie sighs. "I know you could lie to me, but is it just you, boyfriend and the dying bestie, or?"

You're not sure what the right answer is. Better for him to think you have an army waiting if you get lost, or better to hide them? He could belong to a cult of cannibals. Only… his clothes are squeaky clean. His curls shine with a gloss that comes solely with conditioner, which means he has the time and security to really wash things. 

But murders can wash their clothes, right?

"There's a couple of us," you say. 

"You're not from that place west, are you?" 

You put a pill bottle down slowly. "West?" 

"Yeah, there were people there, hundreds of 'em. We got a few stragglers, survivors from the fucking massacre that happened a few weeks ago. One girl said there must've been thirty, forty kids there, it's fucking awful." 

You swallow a lump. "Awful," you agree.

"Hopper says we can track down the people who did it if we just follow the blood trail," Eddie says, slipping into a theatrical bravado that won't stick. "I don't know… someone needs to stop them." 

You choke, "Hopper? Chief Hopper?" 

"Wait, you're from Hawkins?" Eddie asks. 

You give each other boggled looks, a thrumming hope building in your chest like a flickering flame in the dead of winter. 

"I think you better come back with me," Eddie says. 

"I need antibiotics," you say, wanting to explain it to him and now knowing how. Or even if you should. Awesome, Hopper's alive, but that doesn't mean Eddie's group are good people, or that they can help you. There's nothing anyone in the world can do for you right now if they don't have a handful of Augmentin. 

"You're from The College." 

"I don't have time for this," you say, half apology and half frustration. "Yeah, we were from The College, and now it's gone, and my boyfriend's gonna die if you don't help me find the right pills." You wince and snatch up another stupid bottle. 

"I can get you antibiotics," Eddie says, "but you're gonna have to trust me. Can you do that?"

"No." 

—

Steve wakes up two days later in an unfamiliar building. 

His eyes are made of sand, he can hardly breathe it's that cold, each breath as sharp as a needle as he sucks it in, but there's a roof over his head, a blanket over his chest, and your voice, your laugh rings like a song in the air. 

"He didn't do that, you're lying," you say with a laugh, pulling Steve's hand to your chest. 

"He did." Steve stiffens at the voice. Deeper, rougher than yours. "I swear on my life, he jumped right into Lover's Lake and swam backstroke to prove he could beat Louisa Park's best." 

"Did he beat her time?" 

"No, but he had a condom stuck to his ankle when he got out. Wasn't worth it." 

"Steve," you say. Steve thinks you've noticed he's waking up, but you hug his hand with a sympathetic sigh. "That's so embarrassing. You better wake up soon, I have making fun of you to do." 

"I think I'll stay asleep," he says hoarsely. 

You gasp and choke his fingers between yours. "Steve?" You climb up onto the bed, your weight dipping the mattress under his back. Your hand comes careful and warm against his chilled cheek. "You're awake. You're awake?" 

He strains to unglue his top lashes from his bottom lashes. You beam at him, the little scars around your mouth from a cruel hand shining in the white morning light. 

"What time is it?" he asks. 

"It's, like, seven in the morning." 

"I've been asleep that long?" 

"You've been unconscious for nearly two days," you correct. 

Steve can't remember anything. He has the barest memory of your lips on his forehead. Robin splashing cold water on him and calling him an asshole, and then, much quieter, her best friend. 

"Where's Robin?" he asks. 

"She's being Robin somewhere, you know, she loves being helpful. The kids need help getting settled." 

"And you're being lazy," Steve pokes. 

He lifts his chin so your kiss lands exactly where he wants it, the stubbly space below his jaw. You wrap your arms around him and hug him severely, squeezing his tender ribs. 

"I wasn't lazy, I had to go save you by myself." 

"Save everybody," the familiar but impossible voice adds. Steve doesn't want to believe it. He refuses to. "Like, an entire generation." 

"I didn't do anything," you say, kissing Steve again, a short path to his chapped lips. "Honey," —your voice lowers, your confession for Steve's ears alone— "I'm so happy you're okay. I was really, really scared." 

Steve feels the weight of your fear like a dumbell on his chest, but he's uber confused. Propping his chin over your shoulder and hugging you back, the evil wound on his arm that caused this whole mess throbbing like fire under his bandage, Steve sets his eyes on the boy sitting on the chair next to yours. 

"Hey, Harrington," Eddie says warmly, eyes dripping with a put upon affection. "Miss me?" 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Steve asks. 

"Saving the day, obviously." 

"I can't believe I found one of your friends," you say, sitting up a little to smile at him. You really are gorgeous in his eyes, better than any movie star. Your beatific little grin stirs something, but Eddie's snort stomps it dead. 

"We're not friends," Steve says. 

You stroke Steve's face with the back of your hand. "Don't be like that. He's really nice…" Your smile melds itself to a concerned frown. "I thought you were kicking it, Stevie. How's your arm feeling? Does it hurt a lot?" 

"It's fine," he says dismissively, wrapping his stronger arm around your waist. He's not jealous or anything, it's just cold in here, honest. "Munson, where the fuck did you come from?" 

"Right here, Stevie." 

"We're not far from the camp," you explain, stroking his face once again. "Or, we weren't when it was there. We're merging with this one to make a mega camp." 

"Why would we do that? We don't know that we can trust these people." 

"No, but we can trust Hopper." You smile. Steve knows things are gonna be okay, as long as you can smile like that. He leans his cheek into your hand, loved and relieved and– 

"Hopper?" Steve asks. 

"Jesus, Harrington," Eddie says, rolling his shoulders. "Keep up. If you can't comprehend the easy stuff, you're not gonna believe what we haven't told you." 

"What haven't you told me?" Steve asks. 

You push his shoulders down into the pillows. "I think you better lay down first." 

[anomaly-hivemind]

Infected ☆ The Last of Us Zombie x Reader | Kinktober Day 15

Summary: Being infected isn't as bad as you thought it would be when you don't put up much of a fight.

Word Count: 1082

Tags: zombies, infections, virus, sex pollen, mind break, blow jobs, roughish (at the start), face fucking

You were in some old building, you had no food left, and half a water body to your name left. But most detrimental to your survival is that you had no weapons to your name. You got robbed not that long ago which was pretty much a death sentence on its own. But you managed to get here with little issues. You lean against the class of an exhibit and let out a tired sigh. If you had a gun right now you were sure that you would have shot yourself by now. A quick death would be better than slowly starving and or getting ripped to shreds. 

You let out a muffled sneeze, it was awfully dusty in this place, and you looked around the dimly lit room. This seems like a good place to rest, die in yourself if you get lucky, and find food if you win god’s favor.  You let out another sneeze, this one being more on an unsatisfying mouth one that doesn’t have any other purpose besides being loud and annoying.  

That's when you heard it, a shifting sound of something heavy dragging across the floor and the dreadful sound of clicking. 

‘Well, guess I'm dead…’ you think to yourself while trying to tiptoe back from which you came.  Why and how did you manage to walk so far into this room without triggering this beast beforehand?  You could hear the clicker moving, getting closer to you. It's clicking and gurgling screeches echoing around the closed space.

You walk as slowly as you can but have to hold back an active curse when you see that the clicker has moved in your only path to the door.  You back away but manage to bump into a chair of all things.  The clicker whips your head in your direction and screams.  You could actively see the spores move through the air from its mouth like a cartoon depiction of bad breath.  They free up, hoping it will forget that it's right in front of you and get distracted by something else.  

But it stays there, clicking and “looking at you” At least that's what it would be doing if it had eyes instead of the fungus.  You felt the urge to sneeze again, forcing yourself to hold it in. All this dust was making you woozy, and a bit weak in the legs. If you could move from this spot, you would have to sit down before you end up collapsing on the floor.  

You sneezed, the sound of it causing you to freeze up, you were so done for. You had nothing to fight this zombie off and no way to get away from it. You felt hot with fear and something else that you couldn’t quite understand over a growing haze.

The clicker took a few slow wobbly steps towards you. You stare at the clicker, it is clearly some guy who was turned some time ago.  Barely wearing any clothes anymore and covered in the fungus. 

You felt dizzy and your legs started to feel glued to the ground. The room was hot or maybe it was just you that was feeling a heat wave. The clicker  stood in front of you. It tilts its head like it's studying you, not like it normally would in a hostile way, you were a little confused. It suddenly starts sniffing the air and its head moves even closer to you. He grabs your hand hard, pulling you on your knees and the pain causes you to hiss.

Your eye drifts down to a pressing plot point. The clicker's cock was surprisingly intact; it had colorful fungus sprouting onward on the tip and had tiny caps poking out of the shaft. The clicker follows your gaze and makes a clicking noise slightly different from the others it's been making. It shifts a bit where it's standing, trying to angle its body in a way that it can get your attention.

It gets your full attention, and due to the pollen, the sight of it causes heat to lower. The cock was standing upright in your face. It tilts its body so it's standing directly in front of you, getting the lower part of its body closer to your face, almost like it's expecting you to do something. You can't wrap your head around the actions you couldn't seem to wrap yourself around. Your hands wrapped around the cock with a shaky grip.

He lets out a string of clicks and shrills. You move to run your tongue along the rigged shaft. Heart beating in your chest as you feel the need to do more, the desire and overall urges go as far as you can. He pushed his cock a bit into your mouth; you opened your lips to take him into your warmth. You gag on the thick infected cock, but you don't care. You suckle on the cock with a hazy, lusted-up bobbing. 

You suck on him while slurping And drooling in the process. The Clicker grabs your face and starts to thrust into your face. It rocks his hips into your face with a messy quickness that only gets rougher. You let out a moan as it felt like it was shoving its way down your throat.  The pollen was getting thicker and almost harder to breathe, but you didn’t care. It gets on your skin and on your clothes and in all honesty, it made you feel like you were on cloud nine. 

You hear a new sound coming from the creature that is fucking your throat now, another moan or growl mixed together with clicks. The fungus on his dick makes each thrust feel even better than usual for some reason. If you went so doped up, you would wonder how this zombie could even get hard in the first place. It continues to fuck your face, growling softly with every thrust. You can feel the fungus tickling your nose with each movement and causing it to throb to life, adding to the intensity of the experience. 

The zombie has its version of orgasm as a puff of pollution escapes from the top of his head. It doesn't shoot any liquid into you; instead, your mouth gets full of the tiny tendril that helps spread this infection.  It finds its way down your throat. You can feel yourself becoming infected, the infectious fungus spreading through your body before all thoughts go dark.

[findafight]

Tw for hospitals and use of of pain medication, infection, and canonical injuries, brief mention of the AIDS crisis. Ohhhh steddie dating pre S4 au where Robin has now been subjected at work to Steve both striking out spectacularly and flirting like he knows he's getting laid that night. She isn't sure which is worse. (The striking out is worse. She is glad her friend is happy. She's just painfully single and pining away)

The same stuff happens in s4 minus Robin and Eddie pushing Steve and Nancy together romantically (Dustin is trying to push Steve to both Robin or Nancy he's like dude these are girls you like why are you not making a move on them! I want you to be happy!!! And Steve rips his eyes away from Eddie's lips like huh?) But they're still like hey Nancy! It would be nice! If we could be friends maybe! And it's still awkward.

Robin is out here sweating and glaring at Steve and eddie trying to beam thoughts into Eddie's brain in the Upside Down like Eddie please cool it I know it's a stressful situation but stop staring at Steve's tits for five minutes pl-oh giving him your vest??? You think that's going to help? Ok buddy. I'm just going to. Distract Nancy up ahead a little bit while you and Steve chat aaaaand neither of you are listening. Fine.

And it's still a mess. Max and Eddie and Steve end up in the hospital. The ground split open but sealed itself once Steve cut Henry's head off. Everything is over.

Eddie gets discharged first, despite having more bites than Steve, because his didn't have two days to get infected with Upside Down nastiness. So he ends up camped out with Robin at Steve's bedside as he fights the infection with antibiotics (the doctors hope will work), pain meds, and a slight fever.

Which is to say, completely out of it and high as a kite.

So when Dustin visits and Steve is awake, he gets to see a big, goofy grin spread across his best friend's/adoptive older brother's face as he reaches out and says "dusssstyyyy! Cmere. Lemme. Boop you." And yeah, okay, it makes him feel a bit like a baby but Steve is out of it and apparently drugged Steve likes to Boop his younger friends noses. Dustin can accept that. He sighs and leans forward and allows his nose to be booped.

Steve giggles and smiles and pats his head. "Good to see you, man"

Dustin smiles, a bit watery because it's hard to see Steve in the hospital again, and because it was fucking terrifying to watch him nearly drop to the ground after making sure Eddie got treatment, only being caught by Robin. Dustin almost lost three people he loves, and he is so fucking glad they're all alive, if not well.

"yeah, Steve. Good to see you, too. They say when you're allowed to blow this pop stand?"

Steve frons. "No. Still got Upside Down goobies in my guts, 'parently."

Robin sighs. "They said a few more days. Make sure the infection is clear and there's no suspicious side effects."

"yeah. That's what I said, Robin."

Dustin grins, then settles down beside Robin, across from Eddie. He hasn't said anything since Dustin walked in, but was playing with the sleeve of Steve's hospital gown and tracing patterns on his arm. He looks up at Dustin, and offers a small smile.

It's a bit weird, how close he's stuck by Steve this whole time, but Dustin guesses they probably bonded when they got sucked through the watergate, and that Steve saving his life really endeared him to Eddie. He hopes they can be actual, real friends once things settle. Given how much Eddie is at Steve's bedside, he thinks they're well on their way to it.

They all chat for a while, Steve sometimes getting off topic and dreamy, but looking happy even when he isn't quite following what they're all saying. Dustin is pretty sure Steve doesn't have his hearing aids in on top of the drugs, so he isn't really surprised.

His mom eventually bustles into the room, and fusses over Steve. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Let me know if we can do anything, I mean anything, to help, okay? I'm sorry I cant visit for longer today, but what with everything happening like this, I -"

"isss okay, Mrs. H...Ma." Steve corrects himself immediately, smiling. Dustin's insides always get a bit squiggly when Steve calls his Ma, Ma. Like they're actual brothers, and she's their mom, and no one could ever argue they're not family for real. What makes it better that it was Ma who insisted Steve call her that since January of '85, as though she knew just how much both Dustin and Steve needed each other like that.

"I'll be by tomorrow, okay, dear? Robin, you and Eddie are alright for tonight? I'll stay tomorrow but today I re-"

"it's fine! Seriously, Mrs. H. Don't worry about us. My parents will force me home tomorrow anyways, but tonight we're good." Robin grips at Steve's ankle, grounding herself. Dustin doesn't think there's been a day when she hasn't been in Steve's room. Doubts if the places were reversed Steve wouldn't have to be dragged out to shower and change clothes. They're so weird, but Dustin is glad Steve has someone older that loves him like Robin does. It makes it easier to not be able to spend all day with him like he wants to.

"okay. Alright." She leans forward and kisses Steve's forehead a few times, brushes some stray hairs out of his face, just like she does when Dustin is sick in bed. "You take care Steve, sweetheart, and make sure you let Robin and Eddie take care of you too." She turns to Dustin. "I'll give you a few minutes to say goodbye and then meet me down at the car, okay?"

Dustin nods, and his mom is out the door. He sighs. "Well. I guess I'd better head out." He gives Steve a hug, a bit awkward from Steve lying down, but it's fine, Steve wraps his arms around Dustin and tries to give him his normal double squeeze, but it's more of a press with his hands than anything. Dustin'll take it. "I'm glad you're getting better Steve. Glad we're all safe."

Steve's smile is soft, gooey in a way that he usually tries to hide. "Glad you're safe, too, man. Love you." Something in his smile sharpens, then. "Unlike some people in this room you actually...listened? When I told you not to be a hero. And didn't nearly almost die."

Eddie groans, dramatic. It seems like a game they're playing with each other more than anything, but it's a game Dustin doesn't know the parameters of, and it's jarring. "C'mon, Steve. I said I was sorry! I wasn't going to let Dustin get hurt."

Steve glares at Eddie, which would be more intimidating if he wasn't scrutching up his nose or propped up by pillows freshly fluffed by one Claudia Henderson. "Which is the reason why you're allowed in here even though you almost died. Dustin is safe, and that's good. But I'd've been so fuckin pissed if you died."

Robin snorts, pats Steve's hand. "Oh, buddy. You'd have been inconsolable."

"yeah. Exactly. it would have fucking sucked, Eddie. So. I'm still mad at you, even though I love you. Probably because I love you."

Which is. Not what Dustin was expecting. Sure, Steve was pretty open about his love. Especially after Starcourt, when he finally seemed to settle into something Dustin thinks of as comfortable with who he is. (Which is, actually, a big softie with a bit of a bitchy mouth) He's told Dustin he loves him before, and he's pretty sure he's told Max too. Steve says he loves Robin all the time, just not romantically even if Dustin doesn't think that's entirely true, but.

This feels different.

It is different, given the way Eddie squeaks a bit and sways towards Steve. "Steve..." He breathes, his eyes big and wet and wide. He swallows. "Steve. Dustin doesn't. He's still here, i--"

Steve's brow furrows. "Yeah? So? Did you not want...oh." something in the blankness that drops over Steve is scary, especially in comparison to how Steve's been open and lax the entire time Dustin's been in the room.

Steve turns his head slightly towards Eddie, ten slightly away, like he doesn't know if he wants to look at him or not. Dustin shuffles his feet, not quite sure what's going on, feeling awkward and wrongfooted. Robin stands, puts her hand on Dustin's shoulder, tries to turn him away and out the door, but Dustin isn't leaving when Steve's face is all stiff and blank like it is.

"steve--" Eddie sounds wrung out, wrecked. What the hell is going on?

Steve sniffs ever so slightly, interrupting Eddie. "You don't have to say it. You don't even have to-uh. To feel it, right now. That's okay. I've done that before. I can wait." Dustin sees a muscle twitch in his jaw. "But if you- if you don't think you can, I need to know now, actually. Because now Dustin knows but he's my brother so that's good and fine but if you don't want to--if you don't think this is gonna, like, be a long-term, tell people important to us kind of thing; if you're realizing that it's been long enough that you should feel that--that way about me but you don't, then I need to know because I don't want you lying about how you feel. I can't do that again. When you say it back I want to be sure you mean-"

"I love you too, Steve! Jesus fuck." Eddie blurts, apparently having had enough of. Well. Everything Steve was saying.

It's dawning on Dustin that maybe when Steve and Eddie said they knew each other they didn't just mean from highschool. That they. Well. Obviously they love each other. Which is....something to consider later because Steve looks like he's about to cry. Because Woah, Dustin has misread a lot between the two of them if they're...like this.

"yeah? You're sure?" He says, wobbly now he isn't rambling.

Eddie's squished himself more into Steve's space. "yes, yeah, of course Steve. Fuck. You met Wayne! I want you in my life, for a long, long time. I don't- I didn't do anything to make you think I didn't, did I?" His voice is a little rough, and little pleading.

Steve shakes his head, grips Eddie's hand in his m, even as Eddie uses it to support himself over top Steve. "No. I just. I know it freaks people out, is all, and I don't want you to freak out, or leave, or think you had to because we've been dating for a few months and I want to say it. It just came out because it's true."

Eddie laughs, leans in reeealy close to Steve. "Honey. It came out because you're high and morphene."

Steve grumbles a bit, but he's smiling too, and knocks their foreheads together. "Yeah. And also because it's true. I love you."

Eddie's eyelids flutter, Dustin can see, as he grins. "And I love you." He says, before closing the distance and kissing Steve squarely on the mouth.

Robin clears her throat. "As...heartwarming and sappy you two are. Dustin has to leave, and probably...has some questions? That he's not going to be a dick about?" She says this as she grips his shoulder tightly, in a way that is definitely a threat.

Dustin nods furiously. Eddie sighs but pushes away from Steve, not before pecking him again, drawing that dopey smile back into Steve's face. "Yeah." He says. "I'll walk you out Henderson."

Dustin waves goodbye to Steve, who seems cheery once again, wiggling his fingers are Dustin and Eddie, before walking out the door behind Eddie.

"so. How long have...has that been a thing?" He asks, as soon as they clear the doorframe.

Eddie huffs, but seems good natured about it. "Few months. December."

"okay." Says Dustin. "Uh. I didn't. I didn't know you...or Steve, I guess...I didn't know you guys were-" he lowers his voice, despite the hallway being surprisingly empty. "Gay."

There's something steely in Eddie's eye when he answers. "We're not. Well-we are, but we both also like women."

Something doesn't sit right about that with Dustin. "But! You just said-"

Eddie holds his hands up, and Dustin shuts his mouth on instinct. "You can like both while just dating one person, Dustin. Just because you like women doesn't mean you're going around with girls who aren't Suzie, right?" He nods. He adores Suzie, can't really imagine looking at any other girl like that because she's just. Amazing. She's his girlfriend and they love each other, and just because girls are pretty great doesn't mean Dustin wants anything other than friendship wi--oh. He sees where Eddie is going.

"right. Yeah. Sorry."

Eddie shrugs. "Steve kinda dropped a bomb in both of us, today"

""isn't it weird though?"

"well...girls and guys are different"

"they are indeed."

"so, if you like girls, why do you like...boys...too?"

"why do you like girls and not boys, Dustin?"

Which is hard to answer because, well. Dustin's never really thought about why he likes girls. He just does. And maybe that's what Eddie means. There's no reason, really. People just...like what they like.

Or there are reasons, because girls are pretty and often smell nice and Suzie looks like a mad scientist when her ponytail gets a little loose after hours of working on a project, her eyes glinting behind her glasses as she giggles and bites her lip, just a little. But that's mostly Suzie. So. He can't really put a finger on why he's only ever had crushes on girls, or why before last summer they've never been as much or as consuming as his love for Suzie. Never been anything like the long days spent together at camp building and creating and blasting ideas off each other, before one day Suzie took his hand and they ended up sneaking away to look at the stars, trying to outdo each other's knowledge about them and slowly being pulled into the other's orbit like binary stars. He's never really wanted to kiss anyone like he wants to kiss Suzie, not even when he had a brief and fleeting crush on Max.

"oh." Is what he says, and feels pretty lame for it.

Eddie shrugs. "You can't really choose who you like." He says before breathing in. "But you do choose who you love, and how you love them."

And. Well. Dustin thinks of his Ma sweeping Steve up into family dinners every other week, and how the party absorbed Max into it as easy as anything, and holding Suzie's hand as they looked up at the stars in dew covered grass feeling like the world starts and ends there, and of Steve and Robin cackling together and having seemingly no personal space or boundaries between them. And of Steve and Eddie, saying I love you for the first time in a hospital room after saving the world.

"That's pretty good." Dustin says, and Eddie smirks at him.

"yeah. Steve said it to me, way back on our second date."

Dustin scoffs. Because he should have known; it's so typically Steve to say something like that. "And you were surprised when he said he loves you?"

Eddie's eyes twinkle in the florescent lights of the hospital. "Nah. Just... it's different being pretty sure, and knowing for sure. I also didn't want him saying something in front of you he'd regret."

He nods. "That's fair. I...don't know how I would've taken it if Steve weren't in the hospital, honestly. Like!" He tries to reassure Eddie "I would have gotten over it, for sure! But if had had sat me ore the party down and talked it out I might've been, like, y'know. Super weird about it. Because. I mean. This talk is good, right? I'm think about things and thinking about how I've only ever really wanted to kiss Suzie, even if I thought about maybe abstractly kissing other people. And how we as humans have all these quirks that let us be human, but different, which enable us as a species to thrive." He heaves a breath. "But. Seeing Steve all loopy and saying it, and then being worried you felt pressure about it, I dunno. It makes sense, I guess. I don't know how you two met or got to know each other, but. I guess it makes sense, how you like each other. And talking to you now. It's helped, I think."

Everything is a bit scrambled in Dustin's brain, the love and the confusion and the worry, because it's setting in that in Hawkins, something like this, for Steve and Eddie, is dangerous. Something that could get them hurt or killed, scorned by the town they've helped save.

His mother always grumbles agrily when ads about how the virus going around is God's punishment for sinners, or how it's cleaning up the streets of unwanted people gays and addicts. She huffs, swears. Says that just because bigots don't consider the people getting sick as wanted or valuable, doesn't mean no one does. That no one deserves to get sick for things they cannot control, or for things they can. A smoker is more likely to get lung cancer, but that doesn't mean they deserve it more than someone who's never seen a cigarette.

Their families will mourn them the same.

They reach the main doors, and Dustin sees his mom has pulled into a pick up lane, blinkers on. He turns to Eddie, and burries his face in his neck.

Eddie takes it in stride, parting his back and giving him a bit of a squeeze. It's not as good a hug as Steve gives, but that bar is only really surpassed by his mom, so it's still a good hug.

"please be careful, Eddie."

"ah," says Eddie, and he pulls back slightly. "We are, man. You're close to both of us and didn't suspect. We know what we're doing."

Dustin raised his eyebrows. Now that he has context, a lot of interactions between Steve and Eddie in the wake of getting them out of the Upside Down seem a lot less friendly.

Eddie chuckles. "Seriously. We are. It was just hard during everything, and, well, we both feel safe around you guys. I think Steve's been gearing up to ask me if we can tell all of you sheepies soon."

"yeah?"

"yeah, bud. Don't worry about us."

"Considering you just got released and Steve is still in the hospital, I think a little worrying over you jackasses is justified."

Eddie smirks. "Fine. A normal and reasonable amount of worrying, then. But no more than that. Now, git! Your ma's waiting on you."

Dustin smiles, "yeah, yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."

"yep. You know where to find me."

He waves again as he hopes into the front seat, and buckles his seatbelt before Ma can ask him to. He smiles at her, and feels oddly...grounded. a mystery has been solved, even if Dustin doesn't have all the pieces, he still has the big picture.

"everything alright, Dusty? Nothing wrong with Steve, is there?" She asks, even as she changes out of park.

"yeah, yeah. Just accidentally stumbled over something saying goodbye, and was worried about them. But everything is fine. Robin and Eddie have Steve handled."

They turn out of the hospital parking lot, heading for home. Ma smiles. It's softer, more indulgent than usual. "Yes. They're good for each other, I think. Compliment one another nicely."

Dustin doesn't bother asking which set she's talking about, thinks maybe they both know.

[wukong-s-only-wife5000]

LMK!Macaque: Numbers.

Content/Trigger Warnings: N/A.

Authors Notes: Thought this was too funny not to post. Sure, it's short, but I may or may not edit it.

<---Previous | Masterlist | Next--->

“So…” Wukong eyed Macaque suspiciously. “What has you so… Happy?”

“What, can't I just be in a good mood?” Macaque looked at Wukong with a raised brow. 

“You? Barely,”

“Rude,” he chuckled. “Well, I just am.”

“What, you get a girlfriend or something?”

“It's a… Work in progress,” he said without even thinking.

“Ha!” Wukong laughed, thinking he was joking… But it set in quickly that Macaque was serious. “Wait, you're serious?!”

“Jealous?” he smirked at the Monkey King.

“Who the hell would wanna be with an emo boy like yo-” it clicked quickly, and the look of terror that appeared on Wukong's face was amusing. “DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, MISTER!” He suddenly snapped, which made MK jump out of his sleep. “I'm not going to let you infect my precious sister with your… Youness,”

“Well, me and my friend (Y/n) get along pretty well,” 

Oh, how Macaque cherished that horrified expression. 

“SINCE WHEN ARE YOU ANYTHING CLOSE TO BEING FRIENDS?!”

“Somebody's sounding jealous~” Macaque teased the Great Sage. 

“Make no mistake, you me wannabe, (Y/n) would never-”

“I don't know, she seemed pretty interested when we saw each other last week,”

Wukong tore a bit at the thought of you talking to Macaque while you hadn't responded to his 558 messages and 54 calls. He'd visit, but if you were ignoring him, then he didn't want to anger you… He'd learned his lesson.

Macaque couldn't believe how easy it was to trigger Wukong. 

“What's wrong, bud?” Macaque teased. “Didn't she tell you about it?”

“Of course she did! She tells me everything!” he snapped, though he was overflowing with betrayal. How could you talk to Macaque but not him? He's your best friend! How much longer can you possibly stay mad at him?!

“Oh, so she told you to give me her number since she was in a rush,” Macaque looked over Wukong’s face.

“Of course she did!” he huffed and folded his arms. “I just don't want to.”

“Sure you wanna do that?” he chuckled and folded his arms. “Isn't she not talking to you right now? Do you really want to risk her getting more mad at you?” that made Wukong twitch at the thought. 

He was silent for a very long time before he grumbled and snatched the phone, stubbornly putting in the number under the name-

“Wukong’s Best Friend,” Macaque mused as he looked at the contact.

“And don't you forget it!” Wukong huffed as he folded his arms. 

“Thanks a lot, bud, that was easier than I thought it was gonna be,” he mused and opened a portal under him.

“W-Wait, what do you mean by that?!” he tried to grab Macaque.

“Later, Wukong. Thanks again for the number, bud,” the emo monkey grinned before he dropped into the shadow portal without a trace. Leaving behind an even more ticked-off Monkey King. 

Damn him. Wukong swore to himself.

[ikamigami]

This is one long post about latest sams, laes and mgafs episodes full of theories and analysises.

So, first things first, Moon.

I'm leaning more towards that Moon is infected with Ruin's virus. And I think that he injected it into himself after he told Sun he'd do that. And I think that Ruin's virus works similarly to kill code. And previously Old Moon's kill code was activating slowly before it fully activated. Now the virus was also activating slowly. We could see that Moon was more aggressive but in a way that he immediately wanted to kill someone. He wasn't just simply more snapish or anything he just immediately wanted to kill. We could see that with Molten Freddy.

I think that the stress from grief and constant work to find a way to bring Solar back and lack of sleep helped with accelaration of the process of activation of virus. I know that when kill code was activating it caused Old Moon burning pain but I wouldn't be surprised if Moon didn't notice that because he was tired and depressed. He could possibly think that his head hurts because of these things. And tbh if I remember correctly Moon said something about his head hurting before he went insane (correct me if I'm wrong though).

Ruin's virus makes someone more violent and murderous. And it definitely makes someone less sympathetic from what we've seen. Which definitely wouldn't mix well with Moon's personality because he's pretty self-centered. And the way Moon acts as of recent it's more than likely that he's infected with Ruin's virus. He doesn't have any empathy, sympathy and remorse. He's more violent and murderous. He's impulsive which is also caused by a virus because it makes someone act on impulses from what we've seen.

I just strongly doubt that Moon would completely stopped caring if even in the worst Old Moon still cared about Sun. Hence why I think that Moon is infected with Ruin's virus. The only other option is that creator did what he said he'll do. He said that he'll come at some point to "fix" kill code's issue which probably means that he'd give it to Moon once again. Also I don't think that Dark Sun did anything to Moon because we saw that even if he hates Moons he still helped our Moon probably for Sun's sake. Because to me it seems that Dark Sun cares about Sun in his own way. Hence why I doubt that he'd cause Moon to become "insane".

Second thing, Ruin.

Ruin seems to want to help. Though I'm still not sure if he's doing it to atone or he's just simply scared of Dark Sun and needs alliance in order to be protected and potentially team up with others to defeat Dark Sun. After all, it's hard to believe a liar especially as good as Ruin. If Ruin didn't have a minor slip ups I think that no one would be able to say that he was lying. His lies were very believable. He truly is an actor. Though if Ruin will continue being trustworthy and keep helping, I think that I may give him a chance. But I still think that he should be punished for the atrocious crime he did cause after all, he killed trillions of innocent lives. At least now Ruin is on our side and he'll try to help stopping Dark Sun.

Third thing, Dark Sun.

Even if I said that Dark Sun cares about our Sun, I doubt that he's a good guy unless he's actually trying to stop someone else who may turn out to be a so called bad guy. But about that later. So Dark Sun is a genius. He definitely is pulling the strings behind the scenes. But for now we don't know why he's doing this. For now we can only say that Dark Sun isn't wrong for trying to stop Moon from sacrificing someone to bring Solar back. After all, we know that it'd be a bad thing for whole universe. I think that Dark Sun will visit Moon and he'll probably laugh at him and tell him that he should've take his advice on how to get rid of his enemies. After all, he offered Moon these informations but Moon being Moon just couldn't accept anyone's help. I have a feeling that Dark Sun won't be happy with Moon. I was thinking about it a lot and I came to conclusion that even if normally he'd enjoy seeing Moon losing his mind, I think that he won't this time because he seems to care about our Sun.

Fourth thing, Earth.

Earth definitely won't be okay after this. She not only tried to kill Bloodmoon to defend herself and Monty but she almost died killed by Moon, her own brother. It's a lot to process. Earth will definitely need a break and time for herself. Maybe she'll move in with Monty to their new house. Anyway, who knows what with Eclipse and if Eclipse will disappear Earth will be in even worse state. And what about Ruin? What if he'll continue helping them? Earth will have to deal with it despite still missing Solar who died because of Ruin's actions. Things don't look good for Earth.

Fifth thing, Eclipse.

Eclipse is dying. I don't want him to sacrifice himself for Solar but it seems highly likely to happen. But first he needs to figure out and rather quickly how to get rid of that thing Dark Sun put in him. He'll definitely be pissed at Moon for what he did to Earth and for almost killing her. I'm glad to see Eclipse trying to help as much as he can with this situation.

Sixth thing, Bloodmoon.

Even if Bloodmoon's death isn't surprising at all and his redemption was highly unlikely to happen the way he was handled was very harsh cold and cruel. Because Bloodmoon still seemed very affected by death of his twin. The way he was talking about his killings sounded like he was coping after death of his twin. After all, what Bloodmoon described with how he kills these families sounded exactly like what happened to him and his twin. He also sounded empty. He didn't seem to enjoy these killings. For me it seemed as if he was doing this because this is what he was always doing together with his twin. Also what's more devastating is the fact that Bloodmoon basically begged to be killed. Probably because the only person who cared about him is dead. No one gave two shits about Bloodmoon - beside Sun but it's not surprising that Bloodmoon didn't take Sun's offer of help. And also maybe Jack cause they seemed to have a good time together. They could've been friends. I can't count Foxy because for me his decision to not wanting to kill Bloodmoon seemed like a choice made on the whim.

Seventh thing, Foxy.

Foxy frustrates me a bit. He doesn't seem to care about the outcome of his decisions. Doesn't matter good or bad, he seems to not give a damn about it. I'm starting to think that Foxy is doing things to please Puppet because he seems to like her more than a friend. Hope that karma will get to him.

Eighth thing, Monty.

Even if Monty got what they deserved I still feel a bit bad for them. I just really have a like/hate relationship with them. Monty needs to rest and process a lot of things. Especially with what Moon did. It'd be better if Monty will take care of Earth and themselves. They need a good break.

Ninth thing, Lunar.

Poor Lunar. He not only has to deal with Astral Bodies and Taurus who wants them dead will be on Earth really soon but he'll also be devastated upon hearing what Moon did to Earth. He wanted to talk to Moon to understand him but now he'll be pissed, really pissed. I have a feeling that Taurus may order Lunar to kill Moon but I think that Moon may kidnap them and trade them to creator for Solar. This seems like a possible scenario. Though it'll depend on what Dark Sun will do with Moon and what Taurus has in store for Lunar. If things will go downhill I hope that Gemini will protect Lunar.

Tenth thing, Puppet.

I don't trust Puppet. Even more than Ruin. Why, you may ask. That's because Puppet seems to know more than others because she sees everything and she seems pretty powerful. And yet she didn't see that if she'll push Moon to bring Solar back it won't end up well. Unless she knew. And also why she waited so long to stop Moon? To make sure he hurt Earth in order to makes Sun's decision to kill Moon a lot easier? Cause to me it seems like that. Especially considering how much Puppet wants to kill Moon. I just find it suspicious. And I was wondering, what if Dark Sun tries to stop Puppet's plans? What if Puppet is actually a bad "guy" in all of this? I know that we can't trust Dark Sun's words fully but what he said about Puppet being a Joker of this universe doesn't sound good at all. And I can't help it but to notice the Puppet's resamblance to Stitchwraith.

Eleventh thing, Sun.

Sun will be devastated by the news that Moon not only used star's power to kill Bloodmoon but he also didn't care that it'd kill Earth and even if Puppet stopped Moon Earth was still harmed by the blast. Sun will definitely be angry but I still doubt that he'll let others kill Moon. I think that Sun may try to talk to Moon once again. I mean I think that they'll meet again sooner or later. I'm pretty sure that Sun will be in even worse mental state. Considering the things that are about to happen with Lunar and Dazzle. I think that Sun will die. Though I'm not exactly sure what will happen but I think that Dark Sun was telling the truth when he told Moon that Sun won't survive the aftermath of events. After all, we're still in aftermath of Solar's death. And I think that Sun's death will be a result of Moon's actions. But I think that Moon still cares about Sun. Same for Sun. He still cares about Moon. I just honestly don't think and can't even imagine that our Sun and Moon would stop caring and loving each other. Anyway, Sun will have a mental breakdown or another psychotic episode or both sooner or later. It's inevitable at this point.

And at last. Solar.

I think that Solar will come back. And I think that he'll be back as himself. But I think that he'll be retraumatised because of the circumstances sorrounding his return. I don't know when he'll be back though. But everything will be a mess, that's for sure.

I think that's all I wanted to say about the recent lore. You can add things that you think I forgot about or if you want to point out some errors in my theories and such.

[cartoon-cass]

Murder Drone episode 7 & 8 trailer analysis

This is the first bit of Murder Drone news we've had in a while so I'm biting at the chance to do some analysis. I'll do new dialog first as there isn't much of it.

"hahaha thanks for giving me the planet. Fricking idiot."

This is said by CYN or Absolute Solver, which ever one you want to call them. At first I thought this was a thing that happen in present time but that seems like a pretty big plot twist to put in the trailer so more then likely it's either what happen when Copper-9 core collapsed or what happened to Earth.

"All I know is I need you. [We'll] figure things out, together?"

I put the "We'll" in square brackets as I'm not a 100% sure that's what he says, theirs a loud crash right before it and there are no subtitles so can't be sure. N is not having a good time, poor baby. I'm guessing Uzi found out about the whole kill all infected worker drones and N is comforting her that he won't kill her.

On to the images now.

This shot is pretty dark and we get no context about it but it appears to be some sort of man made cave system, with wooden support beams and a wooden crate with what appears to be an old timey gas lamp. The hole in the wall is made out of fleshy growths with human skulls and rib cages, the fleshy growths are reminiscent to other fleshy stuff the Absolute Solver has made and the human remains are likely from the scientist or other types of workers unlucky enough to be in the blast radius when the hole was created. My money is on one of those Null black holes like the one Uzi made in Episode 6.

Uzi and N hug UwU. All jokes aside they appear to be in some sort of church, surprisingly clean for what I have to assume is god knows how far underground. The hug seems pretty desperate so they seem to have been separated from each other, as shown in the next shot, also Tessa or Doll are nowhere to be found.

This is the best shot I could get of this scene. N is being dragged on the floor into the hole by eldritch hands, this seems to be the same spot as the first image. N is grabbing something and for the life of me I have no idea what it could be but N seems to think it's important, It's not a core, maybe a human heart but that is a big maybe, but it's my best guess.

Here we see 2 sentinels chained up and a giant church, the sentinels are probably guarding it. At first I thought it was raining in this scene but on closer inspection it's actually stalagmites and stalactites, which means their definitely underground. there's a human skull on the bottom right and in red, possibly blood, is written null, there other words on the column right behind it too but it's to hard to read it.

In this frame you can better see that there's a banner on the church that says, "Lab space for rent" there seems to be red tape on it with other text but that's way to small to even guess at what it's saying. There's also a miner helmet and a bloody pickaxe, given the blood I'm guessing this was for a human and not a drone.

The sentinels seem to be reacting to some sort of light but the source of the light is not seen but it's from above, which is why I first confused it for lightning but given their underground that seems unlikely.

The only thing we see of Tessa and it's slamming Nori's locker closed, there was nothing in the locker if you were wondering. I love the little drawings, hopefully we get to see more of Nori she seems to be an interesting character .

Something weird I noticed is that thing in the bottom left corner it's not there for one frame and the next it's there and I have no idea what it could be. It's probably nothing and maybe just a result of editing for the trailer but I thought I mention it.

Look at them their so cute. I think they heard something and turn around to see what it is, likely after the hug but no idea. the light there facing is red and it persists throughout the next few shots too, maybe it's Doll, the eldritch thing from earlier or both, eldritch Doll.

Uzi is holding a crucifix of all things??? Also Uzi does not seem ok, she seems to move weird.

This frame shows that Uzi has some sort of image on her screen, or her screen is off with no eye lights and it's reflections, it's really hard to tell, but I think it's the first as the frames before this where her head is down has the same thing which wouldn't be if it's reflections.

At first I thought there was a disassembly drone in the background but it appears to be a light fixture, though it doesn't seem to do a lot of help as it's dark as hell down there. Also Rip N's hand. I think there might be a N and Uzi fight but I doubt either of them wants that.

It's interesting their leaning heavily on the Christian theming, it's always been there, the disassembly have wings and halos, head band lights, and where even referred to as sky demons, but they've never been so upfront. If I'm reading them right N is meant to be an angel or a fallen angel and Uzi a demon but what that means for the episode I'm not sure.

[scoobydoodean]

omg i just finished your emma vs amy takes and the subsequent discourse about it (which was so refreshing to see btw!! love it when adults can be Adults and argue about the topic without insulting the other person) and I might get fried for this but that incident aside, do you have any other scene/episode in mind where sam reacts the same way or does the same thing?

(im sorry if this isn't your cup of tea for asks! your takes have been Enlightening)

You mean another situation where Sam shoots a person with supernatural abilities who hasn't shed blood and has a sympathetic backstory without giving them a chance? Not as overtly—Benny in season 8's "Citizen Fang" certainly comes to mind, but even Benny, Sam at least made a show of giving a chance by assigning Martin to keep tabs on him and make sure he didn't do anything wrong before trying to kill him. (Though whether there was conscious or subconscious sabotage involved when Sam chose Martin specifically—someone he knew to be mentally unstable—is certainly a good question given Sam had already made death threats about Benny before then.)

The fact that Sam's behavior in 7.13 "Slice Girls" is pretty unique is really what I want to point out about this episode in the first place—that Sam's actions in "Slice Girls" are inconsistent with his previous behavior and future behavior as far as "good" monster episodes. We can turn to examples such as:

1.14 where Sam insists they try and talk Max down instead of killing him, because Max's murders are a result of extensive abuse.

Lenore and her nest in SPN's seminal "monsters can be good" episode (2.03)

Sam thinking Andy is responsible for the killings in 2.05 but still waiting for proof before acting.

2.09 where Sam insists they not kill someone they think might be infected with Croatoan virus before he turns and tries to kill them because that doesn't give him a chance.

Two episodes where Sam faces off against Gordon because Gordon wants to kill him before Sam kills someone (2.10, 3.07)

2.17 where Sam and Dean search for a cure for Madison, who is not aware that she has been killing people.

4.04 Metamorphosis where Sam is the one who takes the initiative to research Rugarus, learns that they can survive without giving into their urges, and insist they go and talk to him about how his body is changing (lol) so he has the chance to fight the urge to kill and eat people.

5.06 where Sam and Dean oppose Cas who wants to kill Jesse, who is a child who is not aware that he has powers and is hurting people.

6.02 where Sam, even soulless, recognizes the innocence of a shifter baby.

Then we have Amy and Emma in 7.03 and 7.13 respectively.

8.04 where the brothers let Kate the Werewolf go because she was turned against her will and killed the man who turned her in self-defense.

8.09 Citizen Fang (already discussed)

I'm getting lazy but then we also have Magda and Jack Kline—both children with powers, one severely abused, the other the son of the devil with uncontrolled explosive powers that could end the world, both of whom Sam attempts to help work with their abilities.

Dean has a more structured series of personal "rules"—a litmus test we see from the very beginning—one Sam often follows as well, but I'm not sure Sam ever really fully grasps that Dean thinks this way.

Has this person hurt or killed anyone?

Was it on purpose or was it outside of their awareness?

If it wasn't on purpose, are they capable of learning to control their urges?

We see this code as early as 1.12 "Faith":

SAM Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy. DEAN Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is.

Dean applies the same reasoning in 1.14 with Max:

SAM These visions, this whole time -- I wasn't connecting to the Millers, I was connecting to Max! The thing is I don't get why, man. I guess -- because we're so alike? DEAN What are you talking about. The dude's nothing like you. SAM Well. We both have psychic abilities, we both... DEAN Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people, now he's gunning for a third.

Despite the exact opposite being the typical fandom perception, early on we learn that Sam tends to define a monster by their features/abilities, while Dean defines a monster by their actions. We see the same with Amy—she is "a monster who killed four people" (7.07) . She isn't a monster because of what she is but because of what she did. This again—is also why Dean doesn't even consider killing her son right after her kid swears to kill him one day. We see Dean, in the rare cases where it comes up, is also perfectly fine with taking out human serial killers they stumble across (ex: Thin Man).

Sam will also kill a human serial killer at times (and murderous witches by 3.09), but he reserves the word "monster" to describe individuals with supernatural features/abilities... and I think the fact that Sam's definition of the term differs from Dean's is something neither brother ever fully realizes about the other, leading at several points to arguments where they are talking past each other and do not understand one another. Sam hears "monster" and thinks "Dean is talking about me", when Dean is operating under a completely different definition of the term that is based on the actions of a person.

When Sam is in a headspace where he is thinking of himself as one of those monsters, he shows increased or lessened sympathy in turns. For example, he assumes Andy's guilt in 2.05 because he is panicked about becoming evil himself and is comparing the two of them (but again—still waits for confirmation) but his sympathy for Max in 1.14 comes from the same comparison with himself. Sam completely misrepresents Amy in 7.03 as an addict who relapsed but more generally is "managing", as a way to compare her with himself... when Amy didn't feed on anyone herself and her actions have absolutely nothing to do with addiction or battling "monstrous urges".

I've been bitching and moaning a lot, but I will reemphasize that there is a more sympathetic reason that Sam shoots Emma—Sam and Dean are both crowding up to the diving board at the deep end of the pool in season 7. Dean's grieving and is drinking extremely heavily to cope and Sam is hallucinating. They are both unraveling at the seams. Neither of them is in a place where they trust the other's judgement because they both know themselves and each other to be unstable. So if we imagine a reality where Sam and Dean give Emma a chance, and it doesn't take, Sam assesses himself and Dean to be in no mental state to cope with a potential surprise attack. It's just that Sam also erroneously compares Amy and Emma when they are not the same, and by doing so, frames Dean wanting to spare Emma but killing Amy as hypocrisy (because they are both "monsters") when Dean's actions are perfectly consistent with his personal ethical code and his definition of a "monster"... and Sam's actions aren't.

[flightfoot]

I'm so glad you love Kira Kira so much!!! It's such an underrated season ahhhh. The only thing keeping it from my own top spot is the treatment of Rio. He's my favorite precure character of all time and I simply can't let it slide T-T

Oooh yes it's so good! Like, it has the most well-constructed character arcs for each of the cures of any season, most are more lopsided.

Like with Ichika! She loves making sweets, but she's not very good at it at first. She's not a lethal chef or anything, she just isn't very experienced and doesn't know a lot. I loved watching her slowly work together with her friends to learn how to bake. It's not like some instant thing, you just notice her slow improvement throughout the season.

She does have something she's naturally gifted at, and that's decoration! She's really good at decorating treats in a way that will bring joy to the person who receives them, to the point that Ciel, a baking prodigy, actually learns from her in that regard.

Himari's arguably the most blatantly autistic cure there's ever been, and that's saying a lot. She loves baking and is an expert on the chemistry of it. Unfortunately, she's been discouraged from sharing her passion in the past, since her classmates got bored with her infodumping about the subject. I love her character arc about learning to come out of her shell and finding a way to use her infodumping tendencies for good by finding a receptive audience who enjoys being taught by her!

Aoi has my favorite character arc of the Cures. I love how she was inspired by her idol to become a musician and rock out with her bandmates, and how she's going against what's expected of her because, surprisingly enough, she's the heir to a wealthy family. She doesn't have any interest in running the corporation though. I loved her finding her voice and standing up for what she wants to do!

Cure Chocolat has one of the prettiest designs in Pretty Cure, in my opinion! Akira's character arc has some weaknesses, but it's still compelling. She's got a sick little sister she's protective of, and she tends to put too much on herself. I didn't really like that the show emphasized those self-sacrificial qualities - seriously she's gonna burn out at some point - but otherwise she's great!

She also has one of the most blatant queer relationships in the show. Like Kira Kira never SAYS that Akira and Yukari are a couple, but it sure hints at it.

There's never been a Pretty Cure character quite like Yukari. Even Yui, who's also a cat, is pretty different from her. Like she has this thing going on where she's good at everything instantly and it gets boring, which is why macarons interested her - she actually FAILED the first several times and had to work at making those to make them good.

I don't even really know how to describe her, she's so catlike. I don't think she actually changes a lot like the others do, you just see more facets of her. I love how easily she's able to act and fool villains, making them think they have the upper hand when she's actually playing them like a fiddle.

So her starting off as this haughty, slightly conceited prodigy who didn't think much of Ichika's merely alright pastries (given that she's world famous and has trained under the fanciest bakers in Paris), but slowly grows to see that even if Ichika's actual pastries are lackluster, they have a lot of heart, a lot of Kira Kira in them, and trying to figure out why that is. Her whole breakdown when she realizes how she just... didn't see what Pikario was going through, why he freaked out and ran away, and how he was then infected with evil and taken advantage of and STILL refused to talk to her even after being purified... she became a lot better at reading people as the season went on. I really love how she reached out to Biburi especially. She might not have been able to do much to save her brother, but she can help her at least.

On the bright side, at least Pikario got to be the first guy to have a claim to being a precure? Even if it was just a temporary power-up and he didn't get a Cure name, he was still first on that.

Pikario's the second-best Heel-Face Turn character I've seen in Precure (sorry Pikario, but Setsuna takes the top spot). I love how understandable his motives are. He and his sister went to Paris to learn how to be bakers together, but she's improving by leaps and bounds while he's being left behind and is becoming more and more frustrated, and she's rarely even around anymore. And then the last straw, when he makes the waffles she complimented so highly before, only for her to tell him they weren't as good as the ones from before... it was honest, but no wonder he snapped.

I love that he and his sister still had things to work out afterwards and that all his problems weren't instantly solved once he was freed of the brainwashing, the underlying problems that caused him to be vulnerable still had to actually be fixed first.

He definitely got cheated, he was one of the most interesting characters in the season (and the franchise, honesty), but he was put in a coma for a substantial portion of the show and didn't get to join the team permanently. But what WAS there still makes him a top-tier character.

---

I adore these characters so much, Kira Kira is SO underrated it's criminal.

[burning-academia-if]

Hi again. If you've been around a while you're probably going to be like "Em, again??" But guess who got sick for the 6th time this year and this time it was a full on chest infection!! It has been three weeks, and somehow I am still Not Free!!

Anyway, BA fell to the wayside this month because it was Velox Fabula time and I've yet to miss a Velox jam (also...chest infection). I also needed to get my sudden and newfound Pirates of the Caribbean obsession out of the way so! I made a short pirate visual novel for the jam and I'm normal again. I also released the prologue of my side IF To Taste Sweet Silver (@sweetsilver-if) just to have it out. Feel free to check it out if you want, but it likely won't be updated for a while as I'm shifting gears back to BA for September!

I don't have much to report but:

UI update should be out in the next week or two depending on how I'm feeling. It won't look like much to y'all since it's more for my sake via cleaning up the code LOL but there were things added (friendship indicators, open dyslexic font option, character page updated, stat page updated, glossary page added) I'm not a graphic designer but it's better organized I think. There won't be an Official Post about it because it isn't new content, but I will make a small announcement when it's out. It'll also include the originally deleted Lars/Zoe/Nevio lunch scene in Chapter 2 as well. Sorry this is taking so long, I just really struggle with the coding side of things which has made the process slow.

Writing in August was also slow, and honestly, I think I really needed those few weeks off not thinking about BA. My inbox being very quiet helped as well, so I really did take a real break from BA. When I opened up the writing doc, I felt a whole lot better about working on BA again, and we have hit 100k words finally!

Anyway, I don't want to lament much, but I did have a personal goal of releasing up to Chapter 4 this year which obviously is Not Going to Happen. It honestly sucks I got sick so often this year because it cut into so much time for creative projects, be it BA or anything else.

I'm not really going to be hard on myself for it, though. I think releasing 3 chapters this year considering everything that kept Going Wrong this year is actually pretty good. I just think its annoying when I know I could have done it but the universe said no instead akfjalfa Anyway, I'm not sure when Chapter 3 will release but I do have a good feeling about September and I think I'll be able to at least get a decent chunk done this month!

Finally, September marks the one year anniversary for this blog and October marks the one year anniversary of BA releasing!! I feel like I literally just started writing this, the fact it's September already is wild.

I was going to do art commissions, but due to surprise car issues, I don't really have the money for that now (next year for sure though!!), so I was thinking of maybe doing character Q&As to celebrate? I've also seen some authors do raffles, but I'm not entirely sure what I would raffle off? Maybe personalized short stories with readers MCs if there's interest in that? I'm not sure yet, but I have a month to figure it out lol

But also thank you to everyone who has followed along!! It's been a really fun time both writing BA and on the blog. I know I say this a lot, but I'm really glad this is such a chill place. It's nice for me the author obviously, but it's also nice because I always want the spaces I have to feel like safe places for others as well so! Thanks again!

Lastly, I normally would end on a little snippet or preview but since most of what I wrote was just the two different openings, I feel like I have nothing fun to tease (or maybe I'm too picky about snippets idk). Hopefully Zoe's bday post tomorrow makes up for it, and I'll post some snippets later in the month instead!

Thanks for reading!

[iplaywithstring]

What it can be like to live with mild ME/CFS (individual experiences will vary)

chronic fatigue - this one may seem obvious but remember that fatigue isn't the same as tiredness. It's heavy, bone deep, and makes even simple tasks difficult

muscle weakness - going up stairs, lifting a glass of water and even speaking can be difficult. Sometimes I can't open the fridge.

Dysautonomia - my autonomic nervous system is messed up. It means low blood pressure, dizzy spells, poor temperature regulation, and orhtostatic intolerance (which leads to horrible nausea)

Brain fog - words disappear from my vocabulary. I forget what I was talking about in the middle of a sentence. I can't follow a conversation or a tv show. Reading comprehension is non-existent (all of this is great while being a master's student).

Short term memory issues - possibly related to brain fog, but a separate thing because I don't realize the memory issues are happening until someone points it out. Great when my kid tells me something and not only do I forget the information, but have no memory of having the conversation.

Flu-like symptoms - chills, nausea, weakness, muscle and joint aches. Do I have a virus or did I do too much? Who knows. Constant fear I'm going to be Actually Sick and not realize it because I always just assume it's a bad day.

Inability to work full time - I tried this, it did not go well, even with a pretty low activity job. I am not sure if I'll ever be able to work full time because mental activity has the same effects as physical activity.

Unrefreshing sleep - It doesn't matter if I sleep for 3 hours or 8, I'll likely feel the same when I wake up. Monitoring my heart rate variability (HRV, a good measure of energy levels taking into account CNS function) has shown that sometimes I even have less energy when I wake up. Joy.

So maybe this is a bit of a rant, but it's also a reminder that even a mild form of this illness (I'm so lucky to be mild!) is life-altering and has an effect on pretty much every thing I do.

I have privilege - thanks to my partner we are financially stable if I don't work, I have access to medical care and if I'm unable to take care of things, I have support. I am happy and I have been able to create a life that feels good and fulfilling even while I manage my symptoms.

I got sick in 2010, after a viral infection - no idea what virus but I had a pretty high fever and felt miserable for a few days. Not sick enough to go to the hospital, but enough that I knew I was sick. It's moving into winter in the northern hemisphere, where viral infections tend to rise.

Take care of yourself and the people around you. Get your covid and seasonal flu vaccines. Stay home if you're sick, wear a mask in public. I don't want you to get sick like I am.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

TF2 Mercs As Animals!

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I think these silly guys would be ultra silly as animals. Can you tell I've thought of this for a couple days now?

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TW: GORE AND BLOOD MENTION AT THE END

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Demo- Komodo Dragon!

Demo is one of these drangons for 3 reasons. Both are very smart, very dangerous, and let's be honest if demo bit you you'd probably die from some type of infection. (Maybe not, I'm pretty sure he drank hydrogen peroxide in comic 6, and I wholeheartedly believe that can't be a one-time thing).

No, but seriously, I feel like he would be one for some reason.

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Engie- Meerkat!

I think Engie would be a meerkat based mainly on the fact that they are insanely skilled builders. Meerkats are known to build super intricate underground homes. It also doesn't hurt that they are social creatures that tend to live in big groups, and are like crazy violent, even though they might not look the part.

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Heavy- Rottweiler!

Maybe an obvious choice, but! Just because its obvious doesn't mean it isn't true. Rottweilers are super friendly and loyal to their families but can also be great attack dogs. Rottweilers are strong enough to kill humans, also these dogs are UNITS! They can weigh in at 130 lbs. (58 kg). So I definitely think Heavy would be a rottweiler, or probably any big dog in general.

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Medic- Dove! (So original 😮‍💨)

Not that this idea hasn't been done to death, but hear me out! I genuinely think he'd be one. Doves are typically labeled as very clean animals with unique calls. They're also super intelligent and skilled, as we learned through carrier birds. And I think sums up Medic really well!

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Scout- African Wild Dog!

Scout definitely matches up with African wild dogs, super fast, agile, and hyper aware, and will run you down at 44 mph (70 kph) and have insane stamina when chasing down prey. They are also amazing at their hunts with an 85% success rate, so I think he'd make a good wild dog :)

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Sniper- Owl!

Sniper is 100% an owl, owls can see mice from at least six to seven feet away and have very few vertebrae in their necks, making it easy for them to look in all directions. Owls and other birds of prey would be your best bet to find a sniper in the animal kingdom!

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Spy- Ferret!

Spy is a ferret, hands down. Ferrets can be sneaky and very devious. They love to be where they shouldn't and love to mess things up. Also, cute little fact, plus a mini headcanon! (I like to think Spy can dance really well, so similarly to him, ferrets can dance!

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Pyro- Echidna!

I picked this wacky little guy for Pyro for two reasons. One, the long nose kind reminds me of Pyro's mask (could be reaching here who knows). And two, they're fireproof, well kind of. See, they can breathe through wildfires, so they don't risk smoke inhalation, which is why most people/animals die, so bonus points again for that nose being like they're mask?

ALSO, THEY ARE SO WEIRD, listen to this

"spines like a porcupine, a beak like a bird, a pouch like a kangaroo, and lays eggs like a reptile"

Insane.

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Sometimes I feel really dumb for doing these, and then I remember if even one person likes them, then it's not dumb.

I had a hard time explaining my reasoning on these 😭 I normally just look at people and assign them colors or animals in my head with no explanation as to why it fits.

Also, do you know how hard it is to find a picture of a cute Komodo dragon? Like their cool as fuck but like Jesus, you look them up and most of the time it's bloody.

SAME WITH THE AFRICAN WILD DOG!?!? I looked up "African wild dog cute" and saw one holding a monkeys face, detached from body and skull.

Mercs as works of art / mercs favorite pieces of art up next!

[all-pacas]

DIAGNOSTIC OLYMPICS, SEASON 1, EPISODES 15-END

part one, part two

Hi! I was curious about who on House (besides House) gets the most diagnoses right. Other folks have already run a tally (it's Chase), but I was curious how other factors would influence the tally — whose ideas get run with, who manages treatment, who screws up… So I thought I'd keep score.

1 point for getting the answer. This is almost always going to be House.

.5 points for Valuable Contribution — stuff that isn't the final answer, but either is thought to be the final answer or is valuable to the solving of the case. Stuff like "noticing something on the MRI" doesn't count; things like "figuring out how to treat" does.

-.5 to -1 for Mistakes — stuff that delays or prevents diagnoses, injuring or killing patients, etc.

HEAVY DIAGNOSES: Cushing’s

+1 House: Figures out it’s Cushing’s. Another episode more about Vogler than medicine.

+0 Chase: Is super gross and awful about the patient all episode, complains non-stop, and is in his Peak Rat Era, but he still works his ass off and doesn’t let it show when in the room with the patient. Probably because he's more worried about getting fired, but. Compare to Foreman in the Rabies episode, who dismissed and refused to look at the patient. It's not a high bar.

ROLE MODEL DIAGNOSES: Epstein-Barr

+1 House: everyone is super busy with drama, but House figures out the case in his spare time. COINCIDENCE STRIKES AGAIN: Chase, for the third time, accidentally says the right diagnosis immediately, only to be shot down because it made no sense at the time. This time he points out he got it right, but House is also right that when he said it it was dumb.

BABIES AND BATHWATER DIAGNOSES: Lung cancer

+1 Team: The patient is diagnosed very quickly; the conflict of the episode is much more about keeping both her and her baby alive. Which, uh. -5 Vogler: Crossing from interfering jerk into “actively killing people,” his stunt with the C-section killed the patient. He could have pulled her from the trial without stopping the delivery. Hope the husband sues!

KIDS DIAGNOSES: Pregnancy

+1 House: Realizes the patient is pregnant, and from there it all falls into place. +.5 Chase: Despite House doing his best to punish him all episode, he comes up with a way to scan the patient without a CT. This is also the second time he’s figured out how to do something with “old fashioned” tech — first x-raying the ham worms in the pilot, and now using an ultrasound to scan a brain. Did he go to med school in the 1950s?

LOVE HURTS DIAGNOSES: Infection under jaw

+1 House: Figures it out fairly quickly once he realizes the tic-tacs are a clue. -.5 Chase: Hiding his knowledge of the patient being into S&M was very much a good move when it comes to workplace bullying, but could have led to delays in treatment/diagnosis. Luckily, not five minutes later, the truth is revealed anyway. -5 COOL POINTS: Chase attempting to dom the patient was terrifying. Why do we give him shit for kissing the 9 year old when this is so much more cringe? +1 Annette: Cares about Harvey, does everything she can to help him, doesn't give up trying to help and support him. Nice to see her portrayed as a caring person and not just Sexy Dom Lady.

THREE STORIES DIAGNOSES: N/A. But also, -5 to House's backstory doctors.

HONEYMOON DIAGNOSES: Intermittent porphyria

+1 House: As is usual for season finales, it is not so much about the medicine. Mark Warner is sick, no one has any idea or good guesses, and the fellows mostly exist in the background for House’s development with Stacy.

FINAL S1 TALLY:

HOUSE: 16.5 TEAM: 4 FOREMAN: 1 CHASE: 2.5 CAMERON: 2.5

Foreman's low score surprised me, but he tends to swing from "being really brilliant" to "being very unprofessional." He does well, but also gets demerits for his mistakes. He gets the most focus and character development, and that's only going to continue next season; I'm pretty sure he's going to pull ahead of the pack at some point.

Cameron essentially tying for second surprised me, because I remember her pulling a lot of dramatic stunts (spoilers, she doesn't start S2 strong), but she actually doesn't make a lot of mistakes that pull her score down. Sort of a "slow and steady" approach. She also, so far, is the only one to come up with a diagnoses (Wilson's Disease) on her own (even if House was only a second behind her).

Chase managed to guess the right diagnoses three times. He doesn't get credit, because they were guesses and he didn't seriously try to prove or fight for them, but it is interesting accidental foreshadowing. I do think Foreman was originally intended to be "House's successor," but there really is a decent case to be made, even in S1, that Chase has a shot.

Not much to say about House; his score is always going to be the highest, particularly in episodes more focused on character drama than "solving the mystery."