#I'll say it one last time: I don't blame anybody for this but me and my stupid head

[mitamicah]

Some fun transmasc angst ahead /s to those who dare enter

Maybe I should've listen to the voice inside telling me that posting that last blog post to my diary blog was a mistake.

Honestly I am so very close to delete the post.

Everytime I see notes coming on it I feel worse.

I know that you are trying to help me, but it makes me feel quite bad.

Before I continue however let me say it once (and definitely not the last time)

It is not your fault.

Hearing people saying 'it is not that bad!' and 'I have had it worse!' or 'I'm a cis woman and it happened to me'... I understand it is meant to cheer me up. It is not.

Because then the voice inside me starts to whisper:

"See? You are pathetic! You are making mountain out of ant hills again! Your insecurities are so dang tiny, and so the only logical conclusion is that you are worthless for even thinking about them in the first place."

Don't get me wrong, I know this is not what you meant to say. And I understand where you are coming from. It might not look bad. I have come to realise that it is probably worse in my head. I am on my way to learn to live with it and hopefully starting to like it because what is the alternative really? Yet I'm still far from there so it haunts me at times thinking about how I've seen the spots get bigger and bigger day by day for three or four years and I have had days full of worry that my hair would fall out (my grandfather was bald at 25 so it is in my genetics) and what I'd do then as (I believed I was back then) cisgender woman!

Now I know I'm a transmasculine person and so baldness is not that big of a deal. Still this is a sore subject, so hearing you say it is nothing?

Again, I don't blame you. But at the same time I cannot control my feelings. Especially not gender dysphoria.

I admittedly half chose to start minoxidil to hopefully make these spots smaller - so who knows if they have actually closed up a bit since April where I began on the dosis. (I definitely know that I've gotten way more chin hairs and upper lip hairs since starting!)

And to the well meaning cisgender woman - you telling me, that you experience this as your gender is sadly not making things better; it reminds me that I am biologically closer to you than I am to a man. And so it only feeds my dysphoria.

I must sound like a broken record but I do not blame you, friends and random people I've never met. This is just one of my biggest bodily insecurities and it hurts hearing it being made out to be nothing. Because if I stress over nothing, am I worth anything myself?

This post is having no point other than have me write out my sadness so hopefully the few people bothering reading it is okay with me repeating myself and being a bit cry baby yet again. One would think I've grown out of my teenage vainness but jokes on me I guess.

[danisluvv]

Obvious | d.avanzini

Pairing: idol!fem!Reader x daniela avanzini

Warnings: none.

Part 2

Katseye this, katseye that.

Everywhere you walked you either heard about the group or the members individually, billboard after billboard was dominated by them, they were everywhere and it was like you couldn't escape.

You listened to their music a few times, and you can't lie, it was really good, so you kinda understood what the hype was about.

But it's not just about the music, the members itself were very popular for their looks and personalities, you don't really get the personality part because you don't know them personally, but the looks? Oh, you understood that part very well.

They looked majestic, all six of them had their own charisma and beauty that would make anybody swoon.

You couldn't chose between who was prettier or funnier or cooler, but there was one person that still caught your attention the most.

Daniela Avanzini.

You first heard about her when you were watching the pop star academy, and later when the group debuted she got more popular and her socials blew up.

You were casually scrolling on Instagram when a katseye post popped up, it was a video of her dancing with her group members but you couldn't keep your eyes off of her, and when you saw her account tagged in the caption, you couldn't help but want to check it out, and check it out you did.

You were stalking her account when you accidentally liked a few posts of her, and didn't notice, until you checked the comment section.

-

@/katseyeluvv

Bro, is it just me or is y/n acc stalking dani she's liked almost all of her posts in the last few minutes🧐

@/danismygf

No fr I see it too and I don't blame her💁🏻‍♀️

-

And before you know it, the "rumours" of you stalking Daniela went viral, fans making jokes in both of your comments sections saying stuff like "I wonder how long will it take for y/n to like this" or "but I don't see dani liking y/n's posts, is it one sided lolol."

You were bombarded with comments like that even when you were live, and would get sneaky comments from ningning, which would eventually end up in you two cat fighting and Karinas scolding.

At least you were thankful that Daniela and you two didn't know each other and have never met, because if she had noticed all the comments and ship videos of you two just like you did, it would've been awkward.

Well, the fate is never on your side now is it?

-

02:34 a.m.

You locked your phone, yawning as you tried to put on your slippers half-asleep.

Ningning had texted you saying she was hungry and you were going to tag along to the nearby convenience store, no questions asked.

At first you said no, but then you two made a deal, you would go with her and she would cut the "you're obsessed with Daniela from katseye who is two years younger than you" crap.

The deal was made, and you two were walking to the store in the middle of the night in you pj's, you offered to drive there since it was so late, but she insisted on going by foot since it was a five minute walk.

"So, about the d-" she started but you quickly cut her off.

"Ningning, we made a deal, I follow you here and you zip it, so shush." She rolled her eyes, slapping you on the forehead, "hey, I'm older than you, show some respect!"

"Yeah, older by like what, a day?"

"A day is a lot, it's a whole Twenty-four hours," she slapped you on the forehead again, "ningning, I swear to God, I'm gonna turn back-"

"Too late, we're already here!" She let out excitedly as she opened the door walking in, you were about to follow her when you noticed there was a group of girls right behind you, so you waited, opened the door wider and motioned for them to walk inside.

They bowed, saying quick thank yous and dissapearing behind an isle.

"Ugh, such a gentlewoman!" Ningning held her heart dramatically, making you chuckle.

"Just get whatever you want, I'll be right here," she nodded and she also dissapeared behind an isle.

You started to walk around, trying to act interested as you waited for her, when the same girls from before walked to the register, hands packed with cup ramen making you chuckle.

You took a few steps back to give them some space, when you suddenly bumped into someone.

You quickly turned around to see a few juice bottles all over the floor, making you gasp, "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

"What? No, no, it's totally my fault, I started walking backwards, are you okay? Did you hurt anything?" You said in a rush, looking over her for a sign of injury.

She looked familiar, although she had a cap and a mask on, her blonde hair and brown eyes seemed really familiar.

You tried to think of who it could be as you helped her pick up the bottles, the realization suddenly hit, no, it couldn't be right?

"Daniela? Are you okay?" Sophia asked rushing over, dang it, she looked over to you quickly, like she recognized you without even seeing your face.

"You gotta pay for the drinks that spilled you know," the cashier said from behind the counter, her words directed to Daniela but you quickly spoke up.

"Here," you gave her your card, "for the spilled drinks and other things that the ladies wanted to buy."

"You don't have to," Lara interrupted, shaking her head.

"Please, I insist, since I spilled your drinks and ruined Danielas outfit," you smiled at her as cashier gave you back your credit card.

"Thank you, really, you didn't have to," Daniela smiled, "it was nice to meet you, y/n."

And they walked out.

"Was that katseye?" Ningning suddenly popped up next to you.

"Yeah, yeah, it was." You giggled and proceed to pay for the things ningning picked also, since you payed for katseye, ningnings words not yours.

-

Your phone was going crazy, so you decided to take a break from practice and check what was going on.

@/daniela_avanzini started following you.

@/sofia_laforteza started following you.

@/lararajj started following you.

@/y0on_cha3 started following you.

@/meganskiendiel started following you.

@/meretmanon started following you.

Could they make it more obvious?

A/n: lmk what you think about it in the comments and if I should make part two! Don't forget to like, comment and reblog! Hope you enjoy♥︎

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SONGS ON MY PLAYLIST *  assorted lines from random songs, adjust as necessary

i can't forget this evening, or your face as you were leaving.

you always smile, but in your eyes your sorrow shows.

the sun is going down. it's getting dark.

you look bewildered.

i can't give anymore.

you know i want to do it again.

better things will come our way.

you were always there for me.

i know it's not mine, but i'll see if i can use it.

i see the light in your window.

you know i tried, and i'm sorry.

kiss me if you mean all the things that you say.

one night can make a difference.

please don't leave me hanging.

it's just heartbreaking.

i've got such a long way to go.

i don't want to do your dirty work.

i want you to know that i'm happy for you.

i should have known that it would let me down.

i used to dream about this town.

it's such a shame about it.

there's always magic in the air.

they're dead wrong. i know they are.

nobody's supposed to be here.

tell me what's wrong.

put your arms around me, baby.

show me where you've been.

it may sound funny, but i've come to get my money back.

i know you like what you see.

there is no way you can deny it.

you were always sure of yourself.

who's to blame?

i've had enough of walking from place to place.

you're not what we're looking for.

honestly, i'm not trying to be anybody but me.

can i see you later?

i kinda hope we get stuck.

do you think anybody's actually gonna dance to this?

the answers you seek will never be found at home.

i don't want to leave the comfort of this place.

let's make our escape.

i feel like i'm alive for the very first time.

it's been a while.

i'm not sure why i called.

i was thinking maybe later on we could get together for a while.

it's been such a long time and i really do miss your smile.

it really doesn't matter much to me.

i won't ask for promises, so you don't have to lie.

watch out. you might get what you're after.

we're in for nasty weather.

here's your ticket.

you might need a raincoat.

you can go. sleep at home tonight.

who are you?

i really want to know.

god, there's got to be another way.

it's the one good thing that i've got.

i would really, really love to stick around.

i think there's something you should know.

you made a lot of mistakes.

hey, it happens to us all.

you can do what you think is impossible.

don't close your eyes.

i want your love.

don't look back.

it's only been a week or two.

sooner or later, you'll come rolling back to me.

it gets so lonely here inside my head.

what's wrong with right here on the counter?

i had to stop for the night.

please bring me my wine.

last thing i remember, i was running for the door.

you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.

i'm just in awe of what's in front of me.

i'm sipping wine in a robe.

i look too good to be alone.

every word that i say is coming straight from the heart.

[minimomoe]

First I wanted to say your writing is AMAZING and SO GOOD!!!! Like everytime I think you've written the best thing I've ever read, you update again and top it!!

Second, just a thought I had but I think it would be so funny if one of y/n's clients lived in the apartment complex and heard them after the events of not just neighbors and the bonus. Like she shows up to her appointment and is like "oh wow did you have an interesting night 😏"

Also second side note: I just know that y/n is an amazing braided and doesn't pull that bs these new stylist try talking about come blowed dried already, $150 deposit fee, late fees, and all that 💀

(I'm gonna hit each point out of order lol) but firstlyyy thank you babe for the kind words <<33 Reader is definitely a hairstylist who cares about her craft. I'm talking licensed professional who works at a salon so none of that instagram stylist nonsense. I'll give you a little drabble of how this throuple works out with that idea you have because I love it: tags: fluff, poolverine throuple relationship stuff, mentions of sex, 1.2k words Not Just Neighbors part: One & Two

Honey! You Forgot Your Lunch!

You rushed into the salon with your face hot and apologizing profusely. Nobody gave you a hard time for coming in ten minutes later than usual but you felt horrible doing so. In fact, the other stylists were glad to see that you were okay since it was the first time that you were ever late. It immediately sparked a conversation among them as they watched you practically sprint to your work station. Luckily for you, you didn't have a client to service for another ten minutes, so you had plenty of time to prep your area.

"Are you sick? You should stay home if you are, we got enough people to cover," one of your coworkers said.

"Ain't gonna blame you if you overslept. Lord knows I've done it a million times," another chuckled.

"I'm good, thank you. It was just a little hard to get out of bed this morning," you muttered. There was no way you were going to tell the older women of the salon that you were late because both of boyfriends are handsy as an octopus and couldn't let you go despite time running out. Wade requested a kiss before you left and you granted it, only for him to beg for another and another until your lips felt swollen. Logan had intended to give you a short kiss but became greedy until you were breathless. Your knees turned to jello around those men, and you became their breakfast they had to devour before you could step foot out of the door.

"Are you sure baby? Your eyes are bloodshot! And your voice sounds rough!"

Memories of tears burning your eyes as Logan stroked your cheek while your face was stuffed full of his cock flashed in your mind. You had to shake it out of your head. "I didn't sleep much last night. Insomnia."

"Chamomile tea is good for sleeping at night and it soothes the throat. I got a brew you'd like," said the loctician from the corner of the store.

"I would love to try it," you smiled.

Just then your client and downstairs neighbor waltzed through the salon and plopped straight into her seat.

"You look like shit," she snorted.

"Good morning to you too," you rolled your eyes. "I feel like shit but I couldn't let you down now could I?"

"You really can't. I won't go to anybody else."

"You've always been loyal."

You only took off her bonnet before she whipped around to stare at you with a playful look. You stared right back with a confused air around you. "What KC?"

"Is the reason you like shit have anything to do with all that noise I heard last night, perchance?"

"You can't just say 'perchance', and I have no idea of what you're talking about."

"Sure," KC dragged out with waggling eyebrows. "I heard some funny noises come from above me."

"Wrong bitch," you scoffed.

"Right bitch. My ceiling was practically shaking like an earthquake and you the one who lives above me."

"I really don't know what your talking about." You tried to divert the conversation to asking her about the hairstyle KC wanted down but you were not off the hook. KC and the rest of the salon were now interested in your late night activities and you did not want to tell them about your sex life.

"Oh come on, spill the deets! Is it someone we know? That last boyfriend you had was a piece of shit so I hope this guy is better. He sounds better at least. You were getting dicked down."

"Jesus, stop talking," you groaned. "Pretend like you didn't hear anything. I'll be more mindful of the noise, I promise."

"Somebody was getting busy!" One of the older stylists yelled and it got whoops from across the salon. You buried your face in your hands.

The bell at the front door rang to signal another customer walking in. You peeked through the gaps of your fingers only to find that Wade Wilson and Logan Howlett both strolled inside of your salon in search of you completely suited up.

"Hello ladies," Wade whistled. "Do any of you know my sugar plum? She's about yeigh tall with the prettiest brown eyes you have ever seen but will take you out by the knees if given the chance? Yes? No?"

Logan sighed at the useless description he gave and said your name. "We just want to drop off her lunch and tell her bye before we head off on another mission."

A stylist in the front pointed in your direction and you crossed your arms over your chest. "What in the world are you two doing here?"

"We tried to call and you didn't pick up," Logan answered. He handed you your lunch bag and you softened up.

"You guys made me lunch?"

"Pffft no," Wade laughed. "I can't cook for shit and I'm sure anything he makes will taste like an MRE. We got you your favorites and stuffed them all in there."

"Oh... well thank you." The gesture still touched your heart. You put the bag down on a counter and sighed. "So I won't be seeing you for a while?"

"I know you'll miss me so that's why I left a life sized cardboard cut out of me with a strap attachment at your place. It's size accurate, veins included," Wade nudged.

Logan smacked the back of Wade's head for you. "You know we don't know how long we'll be away so we wanted to see you in person before we leave. Make sure you take care of yourself, bub."

"I always do," you sighed. Wade lifted the bottom half of his mask to kiss one side of your face while Logan kissed the other, sandwiching you in affection. "Come back to me, alright?"

"Aye, aye captain," Wade saluted. It got a chuckle out of you as he marched away from you before turning back around.

"I'm not crying," He sniffled. "Why do you ask?"

"She didn't ask," Logan deadpanned.

"But she's crying!"

"I'm not crying," you laughed. "But I will miss you. Now go, save the world!"

"Rain check on our anniversary date, yeah? We should go to a haunted house if it's still October when we come back. Or go in your haunted house if you know what I mean."

Logan grabbed Wade by the scruff of his neck and dragged him out of the salon. You were left with a audience of eyes trained on you as you laughed at your boys leaving.

"The both of them... you get the both of them..." KC mumbled. "That's not fair. You can't have two boyfriends. Give me the red one."

"Nuh-uh, she can keep the red one. I want the hunk-ules in the yellow," the receptionist said.

"I love you guys, but no way. They're mine and they're stuck on me," you smirked.

"Oh you don't sound like you're playing," KC laughed. "Wait... that means that last night..."

"Shut up."

"The both of them were..."

"If you say another word you better find someone else to do your hair," you warned.

"You're a pro-freak! Two men at one time! You get down and dirty."

"I need to find a new salon to work at,” you grumbled.

“Oh no you don’t. What you need to do is tell us exactly how you met those men without missing a single thing.” The whole shop muttered in agreement with KC. You rolled your eyes.

“Fine, but can you sit normally so I can finally wash your hair?”

Not Just Neighbors part: One & Two

Hehehe thank you for reading loveliessss.

M.list || Ao3 || Twitter || Ko-fi

[tinydefector]

Heyyy again i was the anon who requested for a Jazz smut a while back and im here for more

(this bot need more recognition and I love how you write him!)

anyways i was wondering if you could do another smut fic with him and a cybertronian reader it can be male or gn I don’t mind.

As for kinks maybe the reader dominates him or puts him in his place for acting like a brat? Only if you’re up for it 🩷

Secrets

Jazz x cybertronian reader

Word count : 1.1k

Warnings: smut, valveplug, Sub jazz, slight breeding kink, enermies/ lovers, Brat jazz

Masterlist

Jazz masterlist

______

"Oh look, I've caught myself a spy " they mech hums in amusement. Optics locked on the Autobot spy they had pinned underneath themself. Jazz grinned up at his captor, all easy charm even pinned beneath their bulk. "Aw cher, don' be like that, jus' wanted a lil peek is all. Didn't mean t' stir up trouble." 

He gave an experimental wiggle, testing their hold. Sure enough, their powerful struts don't budge. but he catches the faintest hint of amusement sparkling in their optics. “Yet here you are stirring up more trouble. Your Prime know you're out here?” They inquire. 

" Ain't no fun if he knows im ere?" Jazz tilted his helm, considering the mech above him a lil' closer this time. Strong and loyal to a cause, sure, but anybody worth their bolt had layers. But he also knows their guilty pleasure. They purr in amusement leaning down and tilt their faceplate inches from Jazz’s.  "Snooping through my things again Jazz,  though you learnt your lesson last time " it's just above a whisper as it filters through his audials. that sends a shutter down his frame. Jazz grinned innocently up at the looming mech, enjoying their close scrutiny. "Aw, c'mon - snoopin's in my job description, ya know that sugar." He wiggled teasingly beneath their weight. 

Hes bolder now with his movements, he tilted his hips in a subtle roll. "And if I recall right, last time ended real nice Sweetspark” his visor flashed as his optics flicker under. "Can't blame a mech for wantin' an encore." One hand crept free to trail boldly up their waist "Whaddaya say. play nice and I'll make it worth your time. Got all kinds a' new tricks I been dyin' t'try..." His field pulsed eagerly hoping they would take up the proposal. A little charm and they'd forget all about snoopin' infractions real quick. He relished the chase. but the catch was pretty fraggin' great too.

They are quick grabbing the servo dancing on their hip platting, pinning his arms above his helm roughly, grasping his faceplate with their other. "You're like a scraplet, being a pest in the most inconvenient of places" they muse before pulling him into a kiss.

Jazz made a muffled hum of pleasant surprise against their mouth. He squirmed just enough to test their grip. He hooked one leg around a thick hip strut, tilting wantonly into the kiss. His captor wasn't the only one who liked to tease and he was determined to win this fight. 

When they broke from the kiss, he grins cheekily up at them. "Careful now babydoll, keep kissin' me like that and I'll never want to leave." His fans had kicked on, venting warm and eager against their frame. Jazz rolled his unrestrained hips in a blatant invitation. They let out a deep rumble that builds up in their chassis,  grinding back against him for a moment. grab his hips roughly twisting him and flipping him over, pressing him face down onto the scattered tarps on the ground. "You'd crawl back even if I didn't kiss you, you're like a circuit booster addict" they beam in amusement at how easy he was being. One servo slides down to brush against his interface panel. "Gonna open that panel for me?, or are you going to be a pain in my aft" they hum into his audial receiver. Pressing a kiss to his shoulder plating.

Jazz let out a muffled noise of agreement against the floor, plating warming under caresses. He offered a coy wriggle in response, content for now to deny them access to anything hidden under the panel. Jazz cycles a whined vent as they grind against the panel, he can feel the transfluid basically leaking into the panel, his spike pressed against the plating uncomfortably. They huff lightly before wedging his panel open enough before it releases. "Slaghelm" they grumble to him, pressing two digits into his valve, teasingly slow, dragging another over his flickering node which has him whining into the tarp as his thighs spread wider. "You going to behave pretty mech?, you get rewards when you're good for me Jazz," he can hear the smirk in their voice without even looking at them. 

" ya got me, whatcha gonna do with me, hot stuff?" Jazz purrs, trying to regain some sort of composure only to mew as they shove their digits back into his valve scissoring him open. visor flashed bright as his optics short out with arousal. He arches up with a whine, grinding down on the servo between his thighs. It has him nearly speechless ask he moans, groans and whimpers with each touch. 

"Got you speechless already pretty mech. Didn't know all I had to do was stuff my digits in your valve. You're already dripping " they inform before thrusting their digits in again, watching the way his transfluid drinks down to his node as they tease and rub it. 

They slowly pull their digits out. Spreading Jazz's thighs.  "Primus you're pretty like this Jazz" they hum, interface panel snapping open as they grind their spike against his valve coating it in the pretty pink fluid, the teasing makes Jazz whimper and whine as he grabs the tarps. He tries to turn his helm to watch only for them to press his face back down into the tarp. slowly pressing their Spike into his Valve sinking in with small rolls of their hips. It has Jazz's engine choking and stuttering as if he had stalled. 

They moan loudly as they bottom out in Jazz's tight valve. Grinding deeper as they grip his hips dragging him back onto their spike. "Mmm look at that pretty little autobot spy spread nicely on my spike, might just have to keep you all to myself" they chuckle with a rough thrust.

Jazz couldn't help but let out a muffled keen, the sensation sending waves of pleasure through his systems making his plating shutter in delight. his hips involuntarily moving to meet their thrusts. "Mmm, Frag Cher," Jazz managed to stutter out, his voice overwhelmed with pleasure coursing through his circuits. "Look at you, moaning like a pleasure bot. You like being used as a little frag hole don't you pretty mech" the degrading comment has him clenching around them as their servo wraps around his spike. Each thrust has him rutting into their fist. 

 ", ain't no pleasure bot Sugar!," Jazz quipped, only to arch back into each thrust. A yelp leaves him as they pull him up to rest on his knee plates as they continue to thrust up into him, their servo working his spike as they littler kisses up his neck cables. 

"Mmm think your Prime would be pissed if I fill you tight valve, send you back to the Autobot base dripping my transfluid, mmm bet it be a sight to see, spark you up,  make Prime lose his best field mech" they hum in thought, it was a tempting idea but they both knew it wasn't something either of them could afford. But for now they would just enjoy the secret meetings. 

___________

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[m4gicd0ctor]

under the cherryblossoms ⟡

(!YAN kabukimono x reader)

note: ahaujsjwjwia its veen a while since ive last posted srry yall

Cw: High school au, Loser/bullied kabukimono, reader is very oblivious to kabukis feelings, reader uses they/them, unhealthy themes (yandere)

Kabukimono is known as the loser at your school, nobody would talk to him.. and everybody just found him kinda off.. he had only one friend but they quickly turned their backs on him and then left him all alone. He felt empty after that. Almost everybody hated him he couldnt blame them. He hated himself as well. After that he just kinda let his bullies bully him.. its not like he can do something about it. Right?.. he heard many students gossip about a new student? Huh how strange and continued to went on with his day.. everyday was just the same anyway. He would go to school, the bullies torment him, class goes on, he eats alone, more class and then he walks home alone. the teachers are starting to get worried about him as well, i mean he does get bullied everyday..

Meanwhile after finding out youre moving schools you were upset. Why just why?!!!?! Why are you guys going to move again!! This is just ridiculous.. youre already getting comfortable in your old school.. now you guys are moving again?! But you didn't say a word and instead locked yourself in your room,

You guys edventually move out of your house and then after the next 4 days, you go to your new school, you saw this boy with indigo eyes.. and he was just.. looking at you.. how strange, you edventually introduce yourself and then you heard students gossiping about you.. you didnt know if they were good, or if they were bad but you hoped it was good.. the teacher then sat you next to the boy with the indigo eyes.. you then say hi and he responded with a "hello." He said awkwardly.. he really was a strange one but maybe youre just.. assuming things.

Meanwhile.. he thought you looked.. attractive, he thought he finally found his light, the thing that could finally fill his empty heart and soul. And make him feel alive again. He then said "hey, youre new here, correct?" You turn to look at him and gave him a nod "whats your name?" He then replied with "kabukimono." It was kinda awkward but you then started to talk before class actually started, he actually seemed like a nice boy, and he seemed super cool!, you then asked if he could show you around and he nodded.. during break he showed you around the school.. it really was fun talking to him

"Hey, i was wrong about you.. you seem like a nice boy" you said with a small smile, he then smiled back at you and said "its no problem, i'll be glad to help" , you asked if you two could be friends and he accepted obv, as days goes by you started to get more and more popular, and kabukimono started to get more clingier.. he started to overthink.. what if you leave him? What if you betray him like they did.. what if--"Kabukimono! Youre zooning out again!" You said "apologies what were you saying?" You then said in a worried tone " you keep on zooning out.. and you look scared tell me what happened.." he couldnt tell you.. as time went on.. he continued to be more clingier and more obsessed with you.. he couldnt stand seeing you with anybody anymore. he wanted your eyes on him only him so he decided to "protect" you and keep you away from this disgusting and evil word . So only you could stare at him. Only him

You woke up inside of a basement with kabukimono staring at you with hearts inside his eyes "(Reader) youre finally awake!" He was smiling like a little boy.. its so unhinged and creepy.. "kabuki.. what.. where am-" he then "shh"ed you and then said "don't worry about it (reader) from now on.. you'll only have your eyes on me!" ♡

[athena-studios]

ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.

'Tis the damn season

ted nivison x singlemom! reader

synopsis: you and Ted hook up one night, him taking your virginity, he leaves the next morning with no note or goodbye. a month later you find out your pregnant with his baby, so you do everything you can to protect it. a year later, you and Ted see each other on the street, seeing your daughter and wanting to be a part of her life.

word count: 1.2k

tw: small descriptions of smut(in the conext of ted and y/n recalling their night, not anything to graphic), mentions of reader not being able to sleep very well

a/n: hi! i started working on this yesterday and now I'm really proud of it, it's my baby now. lmk if a part 2 is wanted!

the hospital room filled with cries of a baby. your baby, your daughter, dorothea. You and Ted's daughter. then it hits you. He doesn't know. Ted doesn't know he's a father. and you don't know how to contact him. the last you saw of him was 9 months ago, in your bed, both of you naked. it was a one night stand you didn't want to happen. but when you found out you were pregnant, everything changed.

That was 3 months ago. Now you were out on the streets, walking around with a bag of baking supplies in one hand, Dorothea, or Thea as you'd like to call her, on the other. when you walked to the other side of the street towards a café, you heard your name being called.

"y/n?" no. no no no. Why was he here? He's not supposed to be here, you weren't supposed to see him!

you whip your head to the sound of the all too familiar voice. "...hi, Ted." you reply blatantly as you adjust Thea on your hip.

he looks at you with a slight smile, before realizing that you have a baby in hand.

a baby...is it his? he doesn't know. might as well ask.

"Is it...is it mine?" he asks with hesitation blended into his voice while he scratches the back of his neck in nervousness.

"what if i told you she is?" you answer, getting slightly defensive.

and Ted looks stunned. like he had just seen a ghost. Can you blame him? He just found out he's a father! I mean, you technically can blame him 'cause he left you that morning without anything to go by.

“oh…uhm, well then did you maybe wanna…have some coffee with me? Y'know…t-talk about it?” Ted talks with a soothing voice, almost as if you would break if he went a decibel over. 

you nod at his offer, walking into the café with him and sitting down on one of the more excluded booths in the corner. you situate Thea on your lap as Ted sits across from you, avoiding eye contact.

“What's her name?” He asks, still hesitant.

“Dorothea, but I call her Thea most of the time.” you answer his question in an emotionless voice before an uncomfortable silence overtakes the two of you.

“so…I wanted to start by saying I'm sorry—” you cut him off.

“sorry for what? sorry for leaving me alone after you took my virginity?” you were angry. you told him that night that you were a virgin, just to leave you with your overthinking ass.

“y/n, please, I'm sorry. I know sorry doesn't cut it, but I will do anything to make it up to you. I wanna be part of our daughter's life.” Ted pleads, and he means it. he would buy everything in the world for you and Thea if it meant you would even just think about forgiving him.

“Ted…I tried, I really tried. i tried to look for you, i went back to the bar to ask if anybody knew you, but nobody did.” your eyes well with tears, but you refuse to let them fall. no way were you crying in front of this man.

“Please, if you could just let me be a part of her life that would be enough. or i could give you child support, how much do you need?—” he starts listing off things that could possibly help you, eventually making your head hurt.

“fine.”

“fine…?”

“Yes, Ted. fine, I'll let you be part of her life. we can co-parent, but don't think I've forgiven you.” and at that, he smiles. a big smile, a grin from ear to ear.

“y/n, you don't know how much this means to me. Thank you so much, I promise I'll try my best.” 

you let out a tight smile, maybe this could actually be helpful. Y'know, lesson those sleepless nights of yours. “You can start by giving me your number so I can contact you.”

Ted proceeds to give you his number, still saying thank you. “Ted, shut up before I change my mind.” and at that, he shuts his mouth, also stopping the headache about to form, giving you peace.

Obviously, that peace is quickly disturbed when Thea starts thrashing around on your lap. “shh, Thea it's ok, you're fine mama's here.” you cradle her in your arms. “Can we move outside? Thea's getting a little cranky.”

“Of course, I'll grab her baby bag.” Ted speaks and wraps his hands around the handle of the bag. He follows you outside of the café and into the street.

you try calming her down, but she won't. you know she's hungry, but she already drank the bottle you bought for her. so you have to nurse her. and to nurse her, you have to be in private.

“Ted, I am so sorry and you can decline if you want, but Thea's hungry and she already had the bottle we bought with us. I'm gonna have to nurse her back home, can you come with us?” you offer. Ted notices the worried look on your face as you speak, also noticing the faint eyebags under your eyes.

“I don't mind at all. I can come with you, it's fine. I can drive you?” he grabs his keys from his pocket after you give a thankful nod. 

quickly driving and giving him the directions to your apartment building, you finally arrive.

“take your shoes off when you enter. It's pretty small, I know. but it's the only thing I can afford right now.” you inform Ted and walk into the familiarity of your small home.

you sit on the couch, Ted sitting down and placing the Baby bag next to the two of you. you pull your shirt and your bra up before Thea latches on to your breast.

Ted stares. remembering the way the swell of your breasts felt that night, now it's bigger, fuller.

half an hour later, you've already set Thea on her crib asleep. You're now in the living room with Ted, talking about how you two were gonna do this.

“So, I could come by every other day, I'd text you first, and help you out with Thea or anything. my number is always free for you to call if you need anything, and I'll be giving you money every week for Thea, rent, anything you might need it for.” Ted repeats back everything you two had discussed since you had put Thea to sleep.

“yep, and I still haven't forgiven you. so don't think of this as anything.” you look up at his eyes, seeing the familiar glint in them from a year ago.

“don't worry, I've got it controlled.” 

you lean back down on the couch closing your eyes. “Ugh, I need a nap and shower.” 

“then go have a shower, take a nap, relax, do whatever you need and want to do. I'll be right here, and i can clean up for you.” Ted grins and stands up.

“Ted, are you sure? you don't have to do all of this suddenly just because you're a dad now.” you stand up as well, nervousness fillig your system.

“y/n, I'm doing this because i want to do this. not because I feel forced to or anything.”

“Thank you, this means way more than you can imagine.” you smile, tears welling up in your eyes.

“don't worry. you can take it as us starting over.” he hugs you as you sniffle.

maybe this isn't so bad after all…

part 2?

[ckret2]

The most unpleasant breakfast.

I feel like this picture is a perfect summary of the fic so far.

Chapter 5 of The Pines Capture Human Bill Cipher But Can't Tell Anybody Because They Don't Know Whether Killing Him Will Restart Weirdmageddon (title TBD). Masterpost here. Updated 8/7/2024 for TBOB compatibility!

####

The group asking for a seat at the truck stop diner was an odd sight: three adult men; two children; and then one disheveled barefoot lunatic in a cartoon pony toga, handcuffs, a chain restricting one arm, and the dirt-smeared remains of a butterfly marker mask. But truckers and odd sights were the only things you saw at 3 a.m. in a Roadkill County truck stop that was old enough to still have functioning pay phones, and the handcuffed guest wasn't blinking SOS in Morse code, so the weary party was escorted to the round corner booth without question. They sandwiched Bill between Soos and Stan and silently awaited their menus.

"Hey, I'm Dani, I'll be taking care of you tonight." A waitress passed out menus to the group, hesitated uncertainly with a couple of paper kids' menus in front of Dipper and Mabel, and handed them over when Mabel made grabby hands for the accompanying four-pack of crayons. "Can I start you off with some coffee, or...?" Dani's gaze fell on Bill and her face lit up. "Oh, hey! Toga Lady! Hi!"

Bill gave her a puzzled smile and raised brows. "Hello?"

"Oh, yeah dude!" Soos laughed. "Wendy got a picture of you the last time you came by. You're totally a local meme now."

"Okay, I've gotta know." The waitress gestured at Bill's ensemble with her pen. "What's your story?"

"Well—" Bill opened his mouth, and froze; and the whole table went still as they simultaneously had the same realization.

If anybody revealed Bill's identity, in Gravity Falls, the epicenter of Weirdmageddon, they'd have a mob on their hands. At worst the town would rip Bill to shreds, and at best they'd throw him in a cell so they could schedule his shredding for a pleasant Saturday afternoon when more people could watch.

Bill couldn't risk the possibility that he'd die for good, and the humans couldn't risk the possibility that he'd be re-released as a triangle.

None of them could reveal anything.

And all of them knew it.

"Party," Bill said. Warming to the cover story, he went on: "This is my party uniform. A little anachronistic, but what can I say? There's nothing I like better than being the center of attention at a wild party!" He cast a sideways glance toward the Stan twins. "Until the fun police break it up."

Ford grumbled, "Partying wasn't the problem. You were going to burn down the town."

"You get so worked up over a little bonfire, sheesh." Bill rolled his eyes, leaned toward the waitress, and said, "These geek types, I tell you. Some people wouldn't recognize a good time if it appeared to them in a divine vision."

"Maybe if I ever had a divine vision..."

Bill shot Ford a dirty look. They quickly broke off their mutual glare, conscious of Dani curiously watching, and Bill breezily explained, "He had a bad trip and still blames me for it."

Dani laughed. "You're crazy! What's your real name, Toga Lady?"

Bill hesitated. "Guess!"

"What?"

"Guess! It's a game. You guess mine, I'll guess yours."

She looked down at her name tag. "I already told you my name's Dani."

"But did you tell me it's Danielle Miranda?"

Her eyebrows shot up.

Bill beamed. "I'll give you three guesses! While you're thinking about that, could we get a round of coffee, and... do you serve anything more toxic than mildly spoiled apple juice? No? Just coffee."

"And a chocolate shake," Mabel threw in.

Bill's eyes lit up. "Make that two."

Stan snapped, "I am not paying for you to get a chocolate shake." Bill sighed.

Once the waitress was gone, Bill said, "Trauma still disrupts humans' long-term memories, right? Have the locals forgotten my name yet?"

"Yeah, no, everyone remembers," Soos said. "I know two different Williams that got their names legally changed."

Bill groaned. "Great. Terrific! Fine. I don't even care. My last pseudonym was getting stale anyway, it's about time I find a new one. Do I look like a Silas?"

The others stared at him. Stan said, "What?"

"A Silas, do I look like my name could be Silas."

"Sure, that sounds stupid enough for you."

Bill shot Stan a dirty look. "Fine, you try. I've spent the last couple of days getting killed, tortured, drugged, beaten, and starved—"

"Whoa, wait," Soos said, "you've been what?"

—so all I'm coming up with is 'Not-Bill' and 'the letter A.' Somebody else think of something."

Stan let out a loud sigh. "Who cares? Bob."

"No."

"Will."

"No, and you sound stupid."

"Hey—!"

Ignoring Stan's irritation, Bill looked around the table. "Anyone else?"

The others at the table considered the question. Soos said, "Ferdinand. I think Ferdinand is way cool."

"Coming out of you, that's not the high recommendation you think it is, Questiony."

Soos winced. "Ouch."

"C'mon, give me something that sounds a little bit like me."

Dipper said, "Troy Angle?" Mabel laughed.

Bill didn't. "Troy again."

Ford ventured, "Xanthe?"

"Ha. Sure, just call me 'yellow hair,' why not. I like the direction you're thinking—"

Stan—whose barely-suppressed rage at this whole situation had been steadily building back up since Bill called him stupid—snapped, "Why are we looking for a name he'll like? Why does he get any say in this! I say we call him whatever he can pronounce through a mouthful of broken teeth! Because when I'm through with this sonovab—"

Bill blocked his view of Stan's threatening fist by holding up his menu. "But Stanley's got a point, I need a simple name. How many Americans know how to spell Ξανθή?"

"Get this stupid thing out of my—"

Mabel, who'd been mulling over the whole "yellow hair" idea, stood and slammed her hands on the table, interrupting the brewing argument. "GOLDILOCKS!"

Bill erupted into a peal of laughter that made the rest of the table flinch. His handcuffs clattered as he smacked his hands on the table and he leaned toward Mabel. "Yes yes YES! Perfect! Ha!" It was like a light switch had flipped on in Bill, re-energizing him, and suddenly he was brighter than he'd been since before his capture. "Funniest coincidence, I—well, forget it, you wouldn't get it." Eyes crinkling in genuine amusement, Bill said, "But I like you, kid. You're the one with the fun ideas!"

Mabel blinked in surprise, any pleasure at the unexpected compliment dampened by the knowledge that being liked by Bill was never a good thing. "Oh. Yep," she said flatly. "Fun's my thing."

Miffed, Dipper said, "Hey, I made a pun."

"I don't like puns."

Ford said, "If you'd please stop trying to win over my grand-niece with flattery..." but fell silent as Dani came back with drinks.

She passed coffee around, set a chocolate shake down for Mabel, set a second one down for Bill—"On the house"—and winked. "Is it Rumpelstiltskin?"

Bill cracked up again. "No, but give me three hours and a particle accelerator and I could teach you to spin straw into gold!"

"Worth a shot! Okay, is everyone ready to order?"

There was an awkward pause. Soos finally said, "Oh man, we all got to talking and completely forgot to look at the menu. Can you give us like five minutes?"

"Sure. Just wave when you're ready." 

The group steeled themselves to the task of picking a meal, which felt far too mundane for such a bizarre night. Dipper frowned at the paper kids' menu he'd been handed. "Hey, Soos. Can I look at your menu when you're done...?"

Wordlessly, Bill stole Dipper's menu and crayon box and slid over his adult menu.

"...Thanks."

Bill had already dumped out the crayons and started drawing triangles on the menu. "Don't mention it!"

By the time Dani returned, Bill had covered a quarter of the menu in tiny doodles of his own triangular face, reluctantly scratched them out after Soos pointed out he could get arrested for those, and covered half the rest in countless eyes. Soos ordered a burger, Stan ordered bacon and eggs, Ford ordered an omelet, Dipper ordered an omelet too not because Ford did but because it sounded good and maybe he wanted to try one okay that's all, Mabel ordered rainbow sprinkle chocolate pancakes, and Bill ordered a banana octopus pancake and a side of bacon "as floppy as you can make it" over Stan's objections to letting Bill get a side item.

"And raw bacon. Got it." Dani closed her notebook, gave Bill a considering look, and said, "Is it Blondie?"

"Ha! No! But you've been a good sport so I'll give you a hint! It's something in between your first two guesses."

"Huh..." Dani considered that a moment; then noticed Bill trying to pick up his shake with handcuffs on. "Do you... need help with those? I think the attached gas station's got bolt cutters."

Firmly, Ford said, "We've got bolt cutters at home." Bill gave Dani an apologetic shrug.

As soon as Dani was gone again, Ford leaned forward. "All right, Bill. If you're going to be in our house for who-knows-how-long, we need to establish some ground rules."

"Boy, do we ever," Bill said, with the confidence of somebody who assumed he'd have an equal say in deciding what the rules were.

Ford went on without acknowledging Bill. "For now, we can lock you back in the cellar—"

"Cellar's right under the gift shop," Stan pointed out. "I was thinking a storage closet. Just stuff him in there and pile a bunch of furniture in front of the door."

"You know, Stanley, I think that would be safer," Ford said, like he was trying to pretend he liked the idea based on safety rather than based on how satisfying it would be to make Bill as uncomfortable as possible. "Although I'm sure Bill knows he'll just be putting himself in danger if he makes enough noise to catch anyone's attention—so there's rule number one, no sounds. And once I've done some repairs, we can move him to the bunker..."

"No, I don't think so," Bill said. "I don't like that at all."

Coolly, Ford said, "Well, Bill, you're our prisoner, so we can do what we want, you don't get a say in it, and you don't have to like it. In fact, the more you dislike it, the more I think I do like it."

Stan laughed, elbowing Ford. "Took the words right out of my mouth."

Bill said, "But that's just the thing—I do get a say in it! I'm as worried as anyone else about what might happen if this body is killed. But there are fates worse than death. Like boredom, for instance! You know what I'm talking about, right?" He gave Mabel an appealing look.

She doggedly avoided making eye contact, slurping her shake.

Bill shrugged and returned his attention to Ford. "You know and I know you'll only keep me alive until you think of a way to kill me that I can't come back from—and that gives me an advantage. It means I've got nothing to lose. If I'm not living a life that's at least barely tolerable, then your only way to stop me from choosing death on my terms instead of your terms is by sticking me in an artificial coma." His smile stretched wider. "And are you really, really sure I don't know a way to kill myself in my sleep?"

Ford and Stan's scowls deepened the longer Bill spoke. Stan muttered to Ford, "It's not too late to take our chances killing him the old-fashioned way."

Ford shook his head. "What do you consider intolerable conditions."

"Being locked in a little cell with nowhere to stretch my legs, no entertainment, and no company. Abandon me in your bunker? I'll bash my skull in."

Bill declared this with such vehemence that it momentarily gave Ford pause; but he asked, "And if we lock you in the cellar?"

"Then I scream for help until someone calls the cops, and we all get to learn what they find more convincing: 'You've gotta believe me, this lady is secretly Bill Cipher in disguise,' or 'Help me, officer, these lunatics think I'm some kind of demon pyramid!'" Bill rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking for much. Just a little entertainment. Only enough to make this place more appealing than dying! A few rooms I can move freely in, the occasional conversation, a window or two I can look out of..."

"In other words," Ford said, "if we don't want you to do anything drastic, we need to give you a slight chance to escape."

"See, this is why you're the smart one!" Bill graced Ford with a brilliant smile. "And in return, you've bought yourselves time to look for a guaranteed way to finish me off. It'll be like a game: can you figure out how to get rid of me before I find a way out?"

"I stopped playing games with you a long time ago, Cipher."

Bill leaned across the table toward Ford, ignoring that he was at risk of shoving his elbow into Stan's chest and that the kids had started leaning over the table too as if they were prepared to lunge at Bill. "We never stopped playing. You just stopped having fun."

Their negotiations were interrupted by Dani's return. She distributed their meals, then said, "Okay, I've got two guesses. They're dumb, though."

"I'll allow it!"

"Rapunzel or Goldilocks."

"Hey, guess number four! Smart girl! Give her a nice tip, Stanley."

Stan grumbled, "Stop trying to spend my money."

Dani laughed. "You're joking!"

"No, really! Goldilocks!"

"No, no way. You're totally lying."

Studying her face to gauge how much of her skepticism was sincere, Bill amended himself, "Okay, okay, you're right—first name Goldie, last name Locke. Funny though, right?"

"I didn't think I'd get it. Goldilocks the Toga Lady. Ha! You guys enjoy your meals."

Once she was out of hearing range, Bill muttered, "Tabitha, I should have gone with Tabitha. That's a way more believable human name than Goldilocks. I could pull off a Tabitha."

Ford cleared his throat to catch Bill's attention. "All right, Bill, here's your situation. You're trapped within a small geographical radius and surrounded by enemies. You have no money, no identification, and no connections. The last time we saw you, you were pleading for rescue through a book—"

"'Pleading' is so pejorative! I was offering mutually beneficial deals, but you were too busy taping judgmental selfies in my book to—"

"—SO, wherever you came here from, you clearly can't go back there. And if you still have any powers at all, they're obviously dampened or we'd be dead by now. Your options are limited even if you do escape—so before you try, think how much less latitude we'll give you once we catch you."

"Sounds like somebody's about to agree to my terms."

Ford glanced at Stan, to see if he wanted to voice any objections; then Soos, as the current owner of the shack; then the kids, with a silent apology for what this would mean for their summer; and when no one protested, Ford said, "You'll stay in the main shack. You can go anywhere that isn't closed behind a door—that means the kitchen, the living room, the R&D room, and the attic. You don't get to enter any room behind a door without supervision. You don't get access to tools, poisons, or anything you could potentially use as a weapon. No phone, no computer, no borrowing anybody's cellular phones. I suppose there's no harm in letting you use the TV." He glanced around at the family. "Does that all sound agreeable?"

Nobody was thrilled with it, but nobody protested.

Bill said, "Question."

"What."

"How will disputes over what to watch on TV be resolved."

"Everybody in the house gets priority over you."

"You're being petty. We can't even vote on TV selections?"

"Fine, let's vote. Who's in favor of being petty and never letting Bill choose what to watch?"

Everyone but Bill raised a hand.

Bill laughed. "Okay, I walked into that! But I want books."

"Fine. You can have books."

"And writing materials."

"Under supervision only."

"Sheesh, paranoid. Okay. And a radio."

Ford considered that.

"Come on, you don't think I could get into trouble with a radio."

"You can use the record player."

"Nobody uses records anymore. I want a CD player."

"Fine. You can borrow a CD player."

"Fine." Satisfied, Bill picked up the maple syrup bottle and poured way too much on his pancakes.

Mabel cast a quick, envious glance at Bill's banana octopus. It had chocolate chip eyes and was way cuter than she'd expected.

Bill caught her glance, gave her sugary pile of sprinkles and chocolate an equally covetous look, and said, "Want to go half and half?"

She shoved her plate over. "Like you wouldn't believe!"

Dipper hissed, "Mabel," and Mabel flinched, guiltily glancing toward Ford to see if the Head Bill Cipher Expert had any objections to the pancake swap. Ford grimaced, but said nothing. Mabel had already agreed, Ford couldn't think of anything Bill could have done to an untampered-with plate of pancakes, and if Ford objected on principle he'd just end up making himself look like the bad guy—which he had a sneaking suspicion Bill would immediately pounce on.

Meanwhile, Bill certainly hadn't waited to see if Ford approved. He mercilessly sawed his mushy cephalopod in half, the swap was made before anyone could protest Mabel sharing her bounty of sugar with the worst person in the universe, and Bill gleefully added more maple syrup to his new source of sweet sensory overload. He scooped up a forkful of pancakes, stuck it in his eye, then jerked his head back at the pain and stared in confusion. He tried the other eye before he remembered his mouth.

Mabel played with the banana peel tentacles on her half-octopus. At Dipper's grimace, she said, "It's fine, he'll be fine! Octopuses grow back if you cut them in half."

Soos had worked through his burger like popcorn at a movie while he watched Ford and Bill's hostage negotiations. Now that the important decisions had been made and Soos was down to fries, he said, "So, how do we keep Bill out of all the other rooms? Am I gonna have to put locks on every door tomorrow? Because if we just say 'don't go there,' Bill will be like, 'okay,' and then do it anyway, you know?"

"Yeah, Stanford, how are you gonna keep me out of your rooms?" Bill was twirling a piece of bacon around his fork like spaghetti. "I hear I'm pretty sneaky." He stuck the fork in his eye again, flinched, and gave it a disappointed look.

"Well—" Ford glanced around to ensure no one was nearby, leaned closer to Bill, and lowered his voice. "I've actually got a clever idea about that."

Instantly intrigued, Bill leaned in closer. "Oh, do you?"

Like he was inviting Bill in to hear a secret, Ford reached past Stan to put a hand on Bill's shoulder—and said, "Amnesia Limina—"

"You—!" Bill tried to jerk out of Ford's grip, but was blocked by a wall of Soos. Soos caught on and grabbed Bill's wrists before he could shove Ford's hand away.

"—Stupidi Digiti—"

"I hate you."

"—Occultus Locus."

A bright red light flashed between Ford's fingers. Bill's eye twitched. He jerked out of Soos's grip and shrugged off Ford's hand. "When did you learn how to play dirty?"

Dipper had watched with such fascination that he hadn't even noticed a chunk of omelet fall off his fork into his lap. "Whoa, what was that?"

"A curse," Ford said. "Cast it on a door, and no one who interacts with it will know how to open it. Cast it on a person, however—and they'll forget how to open any door or window. We don't have to worry about locking Bill in if he doesn't know how to use a doorknob, do we?"

Bill asked, "What's a doorknob?"

Stan cracked up. Ford grinned at Dipper and gestured at Bill. See?

"Seriously, what's a doorknob? I know every word in the English language, I'd know if 'doorknob' was a word. Is it a wart? A kind of fungus?" Bill sighed irritably. "Where did you come up with that! I thought you forgot that curse years ago."

"I haven't forgotten anything you taught me," Ford said, clearly offended at the suggestion.

"No? Then why'd you waste all that time installing a retinal scanner on your lab door?" As it dawned on Bill that he no longer understood what retinal scanners had to do with the function of doors, he muttered to himself, "Why did he install a retinal scanner."

"I'm not a fool, I knew if I'd cursed the door you would have removed the curse as soon as you possessed me."

Bill laughed. "You idiot! Don't you know the curse can't be lifted by anyone but the person who placed it?"

"It. Can't?" Ford sat there, experiencing the unfamiliar sensation of being the student called on in class who'd read the wrong pages instead of the assignment, even though in his heart he was sure Bill must not have taught him that part of the spell. "What if that person dies?"

"Responsibility for the curse passes to the next of kin! Lucky for you, or this fork would already be in your throat—although I haven't completely ruled that out. Maybe one of your family will be more reasonable about the situation than you."

The rest of the table loudly assured Bill that they would not be more reasonable. Ford gestured toward them. "I don't think so. None of us are foolish enough to fall for your tricks anymore. You aren't going anywhere until we say so."

Bill ignored the rest of the table, gaze fixed on Ford. "Don't be so sure, Stanford Pines. You aren't the first cocky mortal to hold me and you won't be the last! I'll get out of here, and when I do—oh-ho-ho, I'll make you regret every single timeyou ever thought of crossing me."

Ford raised a brow. "I 'won't be the last'?" Stan laughed again, elbowing Ford. Bill cringed, face heating up.

The kids grinned. "Wow, Bill," Dipper said. "Pretty big of you to admit what a loser you are."

Bill rounded furiously on Dipper. "I'll show you a loser—" He lunged across the table toward him.

"Hey!"

"Get over here, you—"

"Everything good so far?" Dani asked.

The table froze. Bill had a fist curled in Dipper's vest, Soos had an arm around Bill's chest, Stan had his hands around Bill's throat, Ford was pointing a knife at Bill's face, and Mabel was prepared to bite Bill's wrist.

Bill slowly let go of Dipper. He gave Dani a thumbs up. "Everything tastes fantastic!"

"Great!" Dani moved on.

The guys slowly let go of Bill and sat back. Mabel gently bit Bill's arm to ensure he knew she meant business.

He didn't even acknowledge her. He'd fixed his glower on Ford again; and when Ford met his look, Bill pursed his lips and spat a thick, milkshaky wad of phlegm onto Ford's omelet.

Stan rounded on Bill so fast he kneed the table. "You little—!"

Ford put a hand on Stan's shoulder to stop him from making a scene. Calmly, he cut around the chunk of soiled omelet, scooped it up, and dropped it in Bill's milkshake.

A crooked smile broke through Bill's scowl. "You know—" he hooked a finger around his milkshake glass and tugged it closer, "this is the most fun I've had in a very long time." He squeezed one eye shut and made direct, defiant eye contact with Ford as he drank the shake.

Mabel and Dipper exchanged a look and cringed in disgust.

####

When they left, in lieu of the extra tip Bill had wanted Stan to give the waitress, he turned over his paper menu and drew a map to an eighty-year-old buried cache of stolen jewelry just a fifteen minute walk from the diner.

He'd finished his milkshake, egg and all.

####

(if you enjoyed, I'd love a comment! Thanks!)

[thecountesstribe]

HOTD SEASON 2X4 SPOILERS AND REACTIONS.

Babies we got our asses kicked today huh??!

I knew it was coming, I knew but that doesn't make it hurt less. As a matter of fact it hurts worse because I loved book Rhaenys and sure they changed and butchered her character somewhat in the show but that was Grandma and I loved her. I need Vhagar and Aemond dead bro. I'm not even playing I'm wishing for their downfall so hard right now. Rhaenys Targaryen was one of the greatest women in Westeros to ever live and stamp that. I'm not ready for the reactions of her family when they find out about her death. Baela, Rhaena, Jace, Corlys, Rhaenyra and the others just recently lost Luke and to lose her so soon after. I'll be sick. Her relationship with Meleys was so special to me. Meleys looking back at her for the first time during the episode and then taking her last look at her for the final time, I was in tears. I'll never get over this hurt. Her face when she realized that she wasn't going back home with Meleys and the fall 💔💔💔. I am not okay, I'm not okay. Rest in peace to them both.

Sunfyre I'm sorry you had that halfwit who barely knows his mother tongue for a rider even though that little nudge you gave him was actually super duper cute. Another one of my babies. Y'all don't think they rewrote the story to kill off Sunfyre because in the trailer for episode 5, Sunfyre wasn't shown.

Aemond I hate you! Living up to that kinslayer moniker. So we intentionally see him burn both his brother (honestly fuckin deserved and about time) and his dragon. Wonder how this is gonna play out, they better not give Aemond Baela's story arc. I'm so fuckin serious. That's it. I wanna fight.

Rhaenyra coming home to a tongue lashing was so satisfying. Jacaerys was fed up y'hear me. He was done. Her telling him about the song of fire and ice just like Vizzy T did for her warmed me a little.

Criston Cole shut the fuck up challenge. It happened years ago, it's time to let that hurt go. They let that old man read him for filth and spit on him just for me.

Alicent being potentially pregnant and having to take medieval plan b or is it medieval abortion medication is so funny to me. I wonder how crybaby Cole would take the news of her potentially getting rid of the child? It's gonna be a mess.

Jacaerys was angry this entire episode and I don't blame him. Why in a room full of adults with battle experience/tactics for the war to come does he and Baela have to act like the adults. On top of that his queen, the one who they're fighting for is just taking unnecessary stupid risks and not thinking like a leader. I'd be irritated asf too. The black council aside from a selected few are just a bunch of bickering childish idiots. Both him and Baela were tired. Baela and him stepping up and leading the council was so good. They literally fed us what could've been had they had a chance to rule. Westeros was robbed. Baela proving she's just as worthy as Jace is just *chefs kiss. One thing I could say about my boy is that he knows Baela could hold her own, she's proved it but he will never ever under any circumstances let anybody feel that they could dismiss her or disrespect her. Him letting that one goof know it's because of her they have actual information on some of the greens army and acknowledging her contributions, yeah they would've been both sat the throne. Ain't nothing like she's just a queen's consort with no power. They would've been co rulers fr. Him comforting her publicly when they brought up Daemon in front of the council no less, like he doesn't play about her. That's the kinda guy you want to be locked in for life with. Rhaenys looking on in the background was a parallel to the first time they held hands during the funeral and she came up to them and she peeped the same thing she peeped then. I know she knew that Baela was in great hands. 😭😭😭 Never beating the best couple in Westeros allegations.

They black council talking about Daemon probably having an orgy LMAOO, he's getting fucked alright. That man has not had one moment of peace since he stepped foot in spooky town and it's what he deserves. Laena being beautiful and haunting his ass, period boo and baby Rhaenyra wearing older Rhaenyra's clothes and the crown that was too big for her tiny head (symbolizing it was/is a burden) and tormenting him. Yeah I'm gonna have that on repeat.

Rhaenys already knowing Adam and Alyn are Corlys children before flying to her death and her informing him and that sweet scene with Alyn, I think she learned her lesson after the whole debacle with Laenor and his boys. That's growth. Wish we could've had more of that development on screen but what can we do.

It was honestly a solid episode. I'm exhausted this was probably a review too long and if you stuck around till the end thanks for reading my thoughts ❤️. Sunfyre, Meleys and Rhaenys didn't deserve that. Sending hugs.

[ifyouseekmyllie]

✰ ⸻ Kelsea Ballerini " Patterns " starters.

Patterns

I've got patterns.

I've got questions, I've got whys

It's in my constellations

I'm coming apart at the seams

Maybe more than I like healing I like the feeling of the feeling that leaves me staring at the ceiling the morning after.

Maybe I'm the one to blame.

Maybe I'm the one to blame for doing the same old same.

Hey, what can I say?

Is this a battle that I'll ever win?

Will I outgrow all these patterns?

Sorry Mom

Sorry mom.

You know that I had sex

You know that I had sex before I bought the white dress.

I know you're not impressed

I know you're not impressed with my lack of sticking to the bible.

Yeah, I got regrets

I turned out alright

We got into a few fights

I know it took a little tough love.

My priorities were out of balance

I wished I was home

Baggage

My heart ain't up in the air

If you want me clear out a drawer, clear out a shelf

I wouldn't want to do this with anybody else

I've got baggage, but I'm moving in

I know the weight and gravity of key chains with same keys.

Home is when you're with me

First Rodeo

I like the feeling runnin' with the wind

Damn, that showdown was embarrassing

It doesn't scare or bother you, at least it seems

Take my heart, but take it slow

This ain't my first rodeo

Love's the wild, wild, west, ain't gotta tell me that.

You make me forget about the last time.

Tell me that it's gonna be alright

Tell me that it's gonna be alright, even though we never know.

When it comes to me and you, I can't not try.

Don't let me go.

Nothing Really Matters

I get existential

I get overwhelmed

Am I caught up in the wrong things?

Am I cool enough?

Nothing really matters, we're a rock in space

Nothing really matters when I'm seeing your face

I should sleep more hours

If it makes you happy why are we so sad?

I was just thinking today

It's kind of all about the love that you get and you give away.

Leave the rest to fate

That's what really matters , anyway

How Much Do You Love Me ?

What am I in for?

If a meteor hit would you get in your car and drive to me ?

If I went insane and didn't know my name would you stay beside me?

If my jokes weren't funny, would you laugh?

How much do you love me?

I gotta ask, how much do you love me?

Do I sound needy and dramatic?

Yeah, I know that it's love but sue me for asking 'how much?'.

Two Things

We said that it's over.

Two things can be true

Two things can be true, I love and hate you

I love and hate you

I'll be your best and your worst day

I'll be your blessing and curse

You're nothing and everything I got to lose

Did you make it home?

Are you feeling alone?

Are we turning into people that we used to know?

I wish it was that easy when it comes to me and you.

We Broke Up

We met, we vibed, we jumped in

God, we were really something

Almost made it all the way, but we didn't and you know what? That's okay

Almost made it all the way but we didn't.

When it's over, it's over.

I could cry 'til I throw up

It's as simple as 'we broke up'.

Tale as old as time, don't gotta wrap my head around it.

We both could point our fingers, we'd both have one pointing back.

WAIT !

I have a nasty habit, leaving before I get left.

I'll stonewall my emotions even when I wanna cry tears as wide as the ocean.

This is just a conversation, baby, what the fuck?

I'm screaming out 'goodbye' out like it means 'I love you'

I'm better on my own.

Wait!

Wait! Don't go!

It's all I've ever known

I'm codependent with my independence through and through.

When I said, ' Just leave then,' I was only fishin'.

My head and heart are at war.

I'm a girl/boy, I'm afraid

Feelings ain't facts.

Feelings ain't facts , just the patterns of my past.

Beg for Your Love

Let me own my shit and not overshadow it

Let me own my shit

I'd follow you to the moon

You know I'm ride-or-die

If you want a chase, I won't run

I ain't gonna beg for your love

I'm trying, are you trying?

If you want 'sorry' on my knees, babe, that can't be me.

God, you can be so mean!

God, you can be so mean when I'm cryin'

Is this just way too tough?

Are you not strong enough?

You're all I want

You're all I want but not like this.

Deep

You could save me, maybe I could save myself.

What's a girl to do lookin' at you ?

If lovin' you is an ocean, then I'm in deep

Cowboys Cry Too

I've talked him down from getting in a fight or two

He's as stubborn as the weeds in the backyard

He hides his heart and hurt 'cause he kinda had to

Cowboys cry too

I grew up wishing I could close off the way my dad did

That man never felt a damn thing he didn't wanna feel

You can't outdrive pain

You can't outdrive pain, someday it's gonna take the wheel

Can't be alone but don't wanna get close to anybody

I don't wanna bare teeth but I don't wanna look weak.

I'm afraid you'll walk away when the tears start running but I hope not

I'm afraid you'll walk away when the tears start running.

I Would, Would You

I wanna be the one that you're callin' when you're drunk

That's what you do when you love someone

That's the choice you choose when you love someone

Can't you see I'm true blue?

Life is short, life is long, but it's better with you here.

If somebody does you wrong, hold my beer

when we're 95 years old divorced and newlyweds, yeah I'd still die for you and haunt you when I'm dead.

I'd still die for you and haunt you when I'm dead

We lost count of all the 'that's what friends are for'.

This Time Last Year

I was learning' all the harder ways

Hittin' the town didn't hit the spot

I gave hell a piece of my mind , it gave me a hit to my pride

I gave hell a piece of my mind

I came out on the other side

I lost a couple good friends

The heartbreak was undeniable

People thinkin' that I've changed

Thank God I've changed

Did You Make It Home ? ( Outro )

Are you safe on the road you chose?

Did you make it home?

Is it where prayers go when you pray 'em?

I'm thinking of you as you go.

[captainmullin]

Captain Mullin ~ Playlist

had the urge to compile a bunch of songs that reminded me of Mullin and their struggles with family and identity soooo. yeah. The Silly

listen [here] (spotify) or [here] (youtube) - list and specific lyrics under the cut!

Icarus - Bastille - Icarus is flying too close to the sun/And Icarus' life, it has only just begun/This is how it feels to take a fall/Icarus is flying towards an early grave Bodies - Bryce Fox - I got bodies in my closet, can't remember all their names/I could tell you it's the last time but you know I'll never change Captain - Derina Harvey Band - It was a stormy sea that made a Captain out of me/It was a rolling rogue and a wild ocean Ship in a Bottle - fin - You set sail alone, there is no crew/No one on the deck who can help you/This is all your own battle to win/This is your ship and you are the captain DEBT COLLECTOR - Jhariah - Here comes the debt collector/Seems you owe him again/Dollars and coins can't cut your cheque/This time around Don't You Dare (Make Me Fall in Love With You) - Kaden MacKay - Don't you dare make me fall in love with you/Don't you dare do something so cliché/Just get out of my daydreams, you're an unwelcome guest Masterpiece Theater I - Marianas Trench - All these practiced poses/I could wreck it if I had to/But I'm the wreck so what would that do? Perfect - Marianas Trench - What you want, what you need has been killing me/Try to be everything that you want me to be/I'll say yes, I'll undress, I've done more for less/And I will change everything till it's perfect again Promiseland - MIKA - Already played my part/I kept my promise, man/Show me the promiseland Firebird (Alt. Version) - Owl City - Tell me why I look back and I wanna cry/Sometimes I feel like we grew up too fast/You and I had the time of our younger lives Black Dirt - Sea Wolf - Black dirt will stain your feet/And when you walk, you'll leave black dirt in the street Visions - Sea Wolf - Everything's the same/But it's all changed/The pieces still make the same picture/Even though they've been rearranged Dear Fellow Traveler - Sea Wolf - Dear fellow traveler under the moon/I think I'm growing weary and I'm hoping you'll come soon/And if I see you in clean new clothes/I hope you hold the mirror up to show me what I chose Mayday! - Sparkbird - The captain lives by the sword/And the captain loves by the sword/When the captain dies by the sword Clean Slated State - The Altogether - Do you need someone, do you need a new me?/'Cause I've got two or three/And they'll only be here until/My clean slated state Welly Boots - The Amazing Devil - And when you scream that it's not fair/It's like I've gone off to the coast/Left you behind just standing there/Pretending not to see your ghost Dig Your Own Grave - The Dear Hunter - Burn what you need of me/I'll give you a fire to light your soul/To be your coal when you need it/Then burn all that's left of me/Then leave me to die/The fire's grown out of control, out of control Blood of the Rose - The Dear Hunter - Dance, dance your decay/All the while unknowing that you're led astray/Sleep, sleep through your woe/While your voice slowly withers and melts away Is There Anybody Here? - The Dear Hunter - I left my soul exposed to frail hands who hold/My fate up in the air/And through their fingers fall the meaning of it all/Down to the floor it goes Old Demons - The Dear Hunter - I won't be satisfied 'til the saccharine faces fade/Making a mockery of mythologies and tried traditions/For I was blind, now I can see/Every obstacle through soliloquy clears its path in front of me The Inheritance - The Dear Hunter - My job is done/You're old enough, it's time to leave/This home and go on your own/I know it's hard, but it's not my problem anymore/Not anymore Leader of the Landslide - The Lumineers - You blamed it all on your kids/We were young, we were innocent/You told me a lie, fuck you for that/Fuck all your pride and fuck all your prayers/And all this time, I waited like a fool, and for the first time/Finally, I can see you as the leader of the landslide

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️🎵Can We Just Talk?🎵☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 7 “Spit It Out”

Yeah, I'm back already...

Again, I'm aware of Season 3's finale airing. Didn't watch it obviously.

But I will say, it's kinda difficult to not be sick to your stomach when ALL you hear about something is HATE.

Like, I have not heard a single positive thing about Season 3 and I'm kinda nervous now. (Is it really THAT bad?)

That's why I'm just doing my own thing with the first season and reacting to it in my "Just enjoy it" way. (It's not same as "Turn your brain off" because "Turn your brain off" implies not paying attention)

I will remind everyone, I was NOT recommended this show. The people who replied to me asking if I should watch it said "NO. Don't watch it. It's awful."

So I CHOSE to do this at my own will. I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm enjoying this season so far and I don't want that to be spoiled by people telling me not to.

Cause while criticism is okay, it always is, spreading nothing but hate and spite and nasty threats to anyone involved does a lot more damage than you think. You get a RWBY fandom situation where the only thing going on is harassment and bullying and it drives everyone away and leaves no room for air on takes that aren't majority. I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF THAT. ESPECIALLY NOT DEATH THREATS. THAT IS NOT OKAY TOWARDS ANYBODY.

So yeah, hearing any hate towards Disventure Camp about anything, I'm NOT part of it. I am not to blame for anything. I just want to stay in my corner and say what I want to say. (As long as it's not threats, like I said, I can't do that either)

*deep breath*

I just wanted to get this off my chest. NOW THAT THIS IS OUT OF THE WAY,

We're back with Season 1. I beg that there is no double elimination for a THIRD TIME IN A ROW. I'll lose my mind.

Okay, let's get into this, shall we?

Oh we're starting right where we left off last time.

IT'S A TEAM SWAP.

...again...

"My whole team is going to reGRETT voting for me."

"They're going to wish they had never crossed me."

Go off queen!

OH GOD-

What a kind greeting XD

Not the Purple Team becoming the VILLAINS Team!

"I hope that Ellie doesn't have any hard feelings."

Be thankful she isn't Jake, who DEFINATELY would.

OH YAY THEY'RE TOGETHER!!!

We get to see more of them!!

It sucked we couldn't because they were on opposite teams before. BUT NOW WE CAN!

And she immediately goes to Jake to introduce herself.

I have no idea why she'd pick that. But you know what? All for friendships.

"If we lose, we can vote for her instead of one of us."

HOW. IS. DAN. STILL. HERE?!?!

Like, I'm genuinely really tired of him now.

I made a post (that got a lot of hate) about screen time not being problematic for characters so long as they're DOING SOMETHING with that screen time.

Dan is not that. This is my least favorite character in this group. I'm sorry Dan stans.

Everyone else has something to do. All Dan does is push a non-existent alliance and make sexist comments and otherwise has no personality.

GET HIM OUT. I'M SICK OF HIM.

"Gabby is a psychotic backstabber, Jake and Tom are a toxic couple, Miriam is a useless old lady, and Dan is a dumb kid who pretends to know things."

OH GOD, NOT THE SLANDER

She do be right about Jake & Tom though...

"How'd they win so many challenges?"

Because they have numbers.

VILLAIN TEAM

"If you promise to never vote for us, we'll help you."

What if your team loses?

Do you vote for the VOID?!

"Okay, I'll read the votes... WHY ARE THEY ALL SCRIBBLES OF FLOWERS?!?"

"Something about the other two makes me feel at home, that's something I haven't really felt before..."

AW, VILLAIN BONDING. SHE FOUND HER PLACE IN THE WORLD!!

They're still beefing.

I've been eating toxic yaoi two days in a row now. It's junk food, I'll tell you that.

Is Ellie gonna reason with Jake? Awww

"Gabby told me you and Tom are close, but it doesn't look that way anymore."

They had a fight. It happens.

"Are you mad?"

"Yes I am! Tom has been lying to all of us since we got here! He lied to me like everyone else does!"

OH GEEZ THAT LAST PART

I was gonna say "I'm interested in this impulsive and petty anger issues version of Jake"

But that "LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES" part. OOF.

Like, my god, how can you blame him though?!

Yeah he wasn't right. But his POV.

"I don't want to bother you with my problems."

Ngl, when I was younger I would vent to strangers all my petty problems and yeah, that's a version of me you should be happy isn't on Tumblr. I grew up, I got in a better environment, and I'm in a better place now.

"It's okay, after last night I know what it's like being betrayed. Everything you say is safe with me."

I like this. I like Ellie being nice to him.

"I like Jake, he's a good guy, even if he's a bit dramatic."

That is MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

"Honestly, a five minute conversation could probably solve this issue."

Yes. Yes it would. But is it that simple with these two?

"I wanted to thank you..."

Oh?

"For not voting for me yesterday."

Oh...

Yeah no I want you eliminated this episode. You're selfish.

"You'll wish I'd just gone home."

"We already do."

😂

I love Miriam.... oh my god.... 😂

That had no right being as funny as a burn as that was!!

This sounds like a VERY complicated challenge. I'm gonna have to see it in action.

"Is everything okay between us Ellie?"

"What do you think?!"

"What do you think Alec?"

She said exactly that XD

This does NOT look safe!

"Can you help me Jake?"

"I don't think so."

You're STILL salty?

OMG, TALK. IN PERSON WORD ON WORD.

"I took water polo, lacrosse, cheerleading, and even debate."

Debate's not a sport, is it?

Maybe it is and I'm a dumbass.

"What? Debate not a sport? I could debate that."

OKAY THAT WAS HER TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME

"Golden, I can debate on your words!"

This looks like a nightmare to ride

"Things are a bit complicated with Jake, aren't they?"

"That's one way to put it. I know it's my fault but he's exaggerating with his attitude."

Yeah, Tom is right here. But I LOVE that he acknowledges he's at fault for it.

"He's just an immature kid, don't take it personally."

"It's hard not to."

"He'll get over it."

Will he though? Will he?

Grett and Alec are trying to DROWN the child at this point.

"Fiore can't collect water if she's dead!"

Even Alec says it!

Is Grett actually gonna develop from this experience?

"Have you calmed down a bit yet?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, it's just... I can't forget how he lied to me and how that made me feel."

"And have you thought about how that made him feel?"

Ooh, yes. I love that. Call him out.

"I'm just saying it must have been hard for him too."

Yes. Yes it was.

I get both sides. I do. Tom was trying to do a job and got revealed lying about it and didn't consider how that would hurt his friend (for understandable reasons). And Jake got some flashbacks of bad events and overreacted as a result.

"He only used me to go undercover."

"How do you know?"

"Well, I... Grett said so..."

"Did you hear Tom's side? You should ask him. People are... complex. You can't jump to conclusions."

👏

GLORIOUS. THAT WHOLE THING.

Talk to Tom. Hear his side. Apologize. Make up. Be friends again.

It'll all be fine. I still have my hope.

...and maybe this is why I called their dynamic junk food...

GABBY'S TAKING CHARGE LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS

Also not Tom wearing TWO masks now! That looks so awkward.

Knew that would happen.

NOT GABBY LAUGHING AT JAKE'S EXPENSE. COME ON.

Welcome to SLAPSTICK THE EPISODE.

NUT SHOT.

Though this time it was a block.

NO WAIT I SWEAR I'VE SEEN THAT ON A SURVIVOR CLIP BEFORE-

Oh that's just straight up sabotage.

HELL YEAH!!!

Fiore told Grett to SLAY yet again.

Really? NO ONE on the team is good with puzzles?!

I say that like I'm good at them, but I'm not either.

Purple Team wins!

It's been HOW LONG since Purple Team won?

"Our team was on a winning streak but suddenly Ellie joins our team and we lose?"

I'm sorry, HOW was this her fault exactly?

OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING TO HIM. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

"I want to ask you something..."

"Did you really just approach me because of your job?"

Good question.

"You're asking me this now? Where was this question yeaturday?"

"So you're just here for your job!"

"And our friendship, was that just to blend in too?! Did you ever care about me at all?! Was any of it real, HUH?!"

...I mean, TECHNICALLY he DID ask this already?

It was a bad wording of asking it cause he was mad, but he DID ask it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry..."

Aww. At least he's apologizing.

See? He recognizes he made a mistake!

"Jake... I'm going to tell you the truth."

YES PLEASE. OMG THANK YOU.

"...I really like you."

😲

💗

*I'm gripping my heart from that*

UM... OKAY. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT ANSWER. *Giddy again*

"And the days we spent together fishing, gathering supplies, or just talking at camp... it made me rethink some things."

💗

"Yes, I'm here for work, to investigate someone. My agency doesn't allow me to have contact with anyone here after this investigation is over. But... meeting you felt like we quickly had this connection and I thought... am I really willing to risk everything? My whole career? So we could... be something more?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 💗

THIS IS GOING SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. OMG.

That's such good insight on Tom's character too! How long was he a spy? I'm curious. Cause if his missions are all like this, then does that mean Tom has no one? No relationships of any kind? Platonic or romantic?

Cause DAMN that makes too much sense for him to act like this then.

"But the way you've behaved in the last few days made one thing clear to me. I don't really know you. And I can't risk everything for someone who acts so unpredictably."

💔

AAAAAANNNNDDDD it's gone.

I do understand that though. At the end of the day, they knew each other for how many days? And if Tom's career is that serious, then of course he can't.

"Tom, I'm... I'm sorry..."

AW COME ON. HE SAID HE WAS SOWWY.

"But I said I was sowwy! And I meant it!!"

"I was so selfish thinking only for myself! I had no idea!"

This is why I love Jake! He actually ACKNOWLEDGES he's in the wrong and owns up to it!

"That's correct. You had no idea. You never bothered to ask."

And Tom doesn't even coddle him and say "No no, it's okay." That wouldn't be in character, I feel.

"Yes. You screwed up. I hope you know you screwed up. Know what you did was wrong and there's not an excuse for it."

AND HE JUST WALKS AWAY AFTER THAT?!

💔Goddammit...

I LOVED that scene though. Maybe they will be alright after all.

"See? We CAN talk it out! We're not Gwen and Trent!"

"I think the decision is simple. We vote for Ellie."

No. What did she do?!

"She is the only option."

Do you still have blindfolds on?

"As for Ellie, who even is she?"

She's a wannabe college student with a life of bad labor and debt and has passions to be a designer.

"Gabby, trust me, it's for the best."

"FOR YOU IT IS!"

YES! CALL HIM OUT!!

"You always do what's best for you and you don't care what anyone else thinks!"

YUUUUUUSSSSS!!!! DAN SLANDER!!!

Oh god it's Blabby! She's back!

"That boy wants to control you just like Grett did!"

Yes. Yes he does.

"I think I need a hug."

Awwwwwwww 💗

These two are such besties, I love them!

"Uh... I have to go... clean my socks... or something..."

XD

Best excuse ever.

Tom, how did you even become a spy? You suck at your job.

"I'll be back later!"

*Jumps in a bush*

XD

And Miriam just walks away from him XD

"Nah, I'm too old for this shit. I'm out."

"Agent Smith, I wasn't expecting your call at this time."

Smith? His name is Tom Smith?

What happened?

Is the guy he's after planning something worse?

Oh come on Jake. Why Gabby?

Yeah, we know this one.

I thought Gabby and Ellie would convince Jake to vote with them and tie it or something. But no.

WAIT SO THAT MEANS ELLIE IS SCREWED.

"WAIT!!"

"I have an immunity totem and I want to use it."

OH MY GOD THE IDOL. OH MY GOD SHE'S SAVED.

"I want to use this totem to nullify the votes against Ellie!"

YEP. ELLIE'S NOT GOING.

Gabby, SLAY. Successfully reading the room, saving her only ally!

GREAT PLAY.

The subtitles XD

"Any votes on Ellie will not count!"

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

There's three, right?

So this was a successful idol play?

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

YEP. SUCCESSFUL IDOL PLAY.

'GABBY'

That's Jake throwing his vote.

'DAN'

OH MY GOD, PLEASE. IS HE GONE?!

PLEASE NOT GABBY.

It's gotta be Dan. He's gotta be gone!

YES! HE'S GONE!!!!

"Why would you waste your totem on Ellie?"

Dude, Ellie was Gabby's ONLY ally in the game. She didn't protect Ellie, then they'd both be screwed.

"I didn't waste it. I saved her cause she treats me like a person."

That too. 💗

WHAT A TRIBAL COUNCIL!!

I like good idol plays, what can I say?

And Dan's finally gone!

I'm sorry, but he was the worst character of the cast.

Lasted too long, no personality, and the only thing he did with all his screen time was talk about an alliance that didn't exist, and be sexist.

And before you say his actions and dialogue weren't sexist: GUYS alliance. Is only seen targeting female characters. Downplays Gabby's problems over his own wants.

He rubbed me off the wrong way and I don't regret bullying him.

At least everyone else on that team was interesting in one way or another, but Dan had nothing.

I GUESS the only thing he did was be the foil to Grett for Gabby's development? As he was someone who also tried to use her but was nicer to her so it left her conflicted? But really, you could've given that role to ANY character. You could've had, idk, Tom do that and not much would change.

Actually, that would add onto the 'Tom is only here for work' plot.

BUT HEY, AT LEAST I DIDN'T JINX ANYBODY WITH THE HEADING THIS TIME! THAT'S A PLUS!

Still, THANK YOU GABBY for slaying this show as usual! You are a GIFT, sweetheart and we're so happy to have you!

GABBY FOR THE WIN!

Anyway, idk if this will get any attention because of the Season 3 finale, but hey, I can continue these if you guys seem interested and entertained by them.

[mikailys]

you said jason and candy's relationship was written while listening to "i can see you", do you have options on the others love interests?

Thank you for the ask anon!

Honestly I spent more time focusing on Jason's but I sure do also have some ideas for the other LIs.

Note: it's Taylor Swift centered because I find her music the perfect medium for storytelling and also cause she's the only artist i've been listening non-stop in the last year so yeah you don't have very much choice.

Also the songs are chosen purely based on the vibes they're giving me off, they might not be 100% accurate lore-wise.

Thomas: I'm Only Me When I'm With You. Whenever I'm listening to this song I immediately think about him and I imagine it as if he's telling Candy how he feels comfortable in her company and how she's the only one who understands him.

« When I'm with anybody else It's so hard to be myself And only you can tell »

On a similar theme, another song I think would fit their relationship is State of Grace.

« You come around and the armor falls Pierce the room like a cannonball Now all we know is don't let go »

Devon: oh our dear boss is a Lover boy. I can't unsee it also I feel London Boy would suit him but idk that's only based on my personal headcanons.

« And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years? »

But also has a certain reputation to be a New Year's Day boy.

« I can tell that it's gonna be a long road I'll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe Or if you strike out and you’re crawlin' home »

Amanda: with her it is a bit more difficult since we don't know yet her background but I would say gold rush it's a good fit. I feel like she resembles the gold rush: everybody wants her, everyone would die to feel her touch but Candy imposes herself to do not fall for her cause she's well aware of their abysmal social difference - at least that's what their coworkers say.

« And the coastal town We wandered 'round had never Seen a love as pure as it And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea »

Another one is When Emma Falls In Love, slightly different theme from the previous one but it's a very cutesy and girl-in-love track.

« She won't lose herself in love the way that I did 'Cause she'll call you out, she'll put you in your place When Emma falls in love, I'm learning »

Roy: blame it the fact he's literally Taylor Lautner and Booboo Stewart's lovechild, it's only natural I associate him with the whole album Fearless and its title track.

« I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now But you're just so cool Run your hands through your hair Absent mindedly makin' me want you »

I have other songs in my head for him like Jump Then Fall or Hey Stephen but to tell the truth the whole album gives me happy-go-lucky young love vibes, which is perfectly in tune with his personality.

[yolowritter]

In Offense to Lila Rossi

O...kay! Am I the only one who sometimes takes offense to Lila's entire existence? Even if she just stands there, looking at her on screen makes me want to grab the nearest pitchfork! So please, allow me to explain why I despise Lila Rossi in Miraculous Canon, and what my delusions say should happen for Season 6 regarding her character! Call it a stich, I'm still doing it because I can!

To kick things off, it's worth establishing what kind of antagonist Lila is supposed to be in the show. She's introduced in the finale of Season 1, Volpina (yes I know some lists have Origins last, but Collector picks up directly after so it's the finale), and from the moment anybody even mentions her, we get the hint that something is fishy. I'm quite sure it's Alya who first approaches Marinette and tells her about this "new girl" who's showed up at school. Apparently, "she" knows famous musicians, is very talented, etcetera. Marinette raises an eyebrow at this, but there's no real reason to question it yet since the audience has already seen that some of those things are true for her as well (see Jagged Stone). All in all, good little bit of foreshadowing and getting people intersted without going overboard.

Then we actually meet Lila in the library with Adrien. She seems pleasant enough, if a little infatuated, but this is Adrien. He has more fangirls that there are ticks on a goat, so he takes it in stride. All in all, Lila is cheery and excitable, happy to spend time with him. Not the most likable character in history, but also not malicious in any way. This is the expected behavior for some random teenager learning she's classmates with a supermodel. And since we get this whole thing from Marinette's point of view, the audience is encouraged to share her suspicions about Lila. We all know how the rest of the episode goes, and I'll get back to this in a sec.

Point is, when Lila first shows up, she seems interesting. Her lies aren't immediately obvious (or at least like 20% plausible given past events), and she appears to be infatuated with Adrien, just like Marinette. Sure, it looks a bit superficial, but who can blame her? We don't know anything about her yet, and it isn't completely outrageous to think that she might be giving out small lies to make herself more popular since she's the "new kid" and all that.

But after Volpina...we don't see her again until Season 3! Excepting Heroes Day Part 2, where she gets re-akumatized into Volpina for the whole illusion thing, I mean. Lila remains a mystery, and so far has been a nuanced character who we have questions about and know to be a cunning liar. Especially since in Volpina, Lila actually is being smart with her lies to Adrien! She plays up her persona of infatuated fangirl and extracts general information about the book he has, and plays off it by giving minimal details and still attracting his interest. It's only once Adrien has shown her the page about the fox heroine that Lila makes up a story about having the Miraculous in her family, and then she immediately goes off to cover her back by buying a fake Fox Miraculous from a "Gabriel" store.

Side note: This is the one and only time we see this happen, and I still have questions as to why Gabriel Agreste is selling jewerly that only someone with the Guardian's Grimoire would know how to design. Dead giveaway, but that's a general plothole in the show, and irrelevant to Lila.

The thing is, I love Lila in Volpina! She actually does manipulate Adrien pretty well, makes sure to subtly get all the information she needs, and then plays her part perfectly, to the point where he's on her side when Ladybug swings by to berate her for lying about having a Miraculous. Granted, Marinette's intense reaction doesn't do her any favors, but nonetheless Lila is actually good at lying in this episode! Now prepare to throw this out the window with Chameleon! Oh, Chameleon! What is even left to say about this episode that the fandom didn't tear to shreds back when it first aired? Welp, doesn't matter! I'm grabbing Hawkmoth's cane and beating the dead horse one last time, just because Lila pissed me off this badly when I re-watched it recently!

I have genuinely researched the lies that Lila spouts out in this episode, and I'm honestly baffled as to why the writing team even put them there? I'd think it takes more effort to think of something this ridiculous rather than a semi-believable lie? Let's break the two most ridiculous ones down real quick. Getting tinitus from being behind a plane engine while it was taking off. Now, I'm assuming Lila also lost a few braincells in this episode, because while while yes, if that were to happen one would have severe hearing damage...we're talking about going completely deaf. Not to mention that you'd have to ignore countless airport security measures to even get there, and that in some countries, it's very much illegal to be on the runway when a plane is taking off. So Lila would have gone completely deaf, forever, not to mention sustained actual injury from being right behind a plane as it's taking off. Do you see why this is so ridiculously unbelievable? And okay, for the sake of argument let's say that people do believe her. Miss Bustier has zero reaction to this information, which would have presumably caused a responsible adult to panic at the idea of a child sustaining such an injury. Clearly, this episode is designed to devour braincells from everyone present.

Then we move onto the moment that still infuriates me, the Napkin Incident™. I'm not going to go into too much detail because we all know the gist. Lila catches a napkin thrown by Marinette with her supposedly "sprained" wrist, and explains the reason she "hurt herself" was to protect Max's eyes from being gouged out! By a napkin, while he's wearing glasses! In addition, Lila blatantly lies about being best friends with Ladybug and having sustained other minor injuries, and all of this makes me honestly upset because I see what they were going for! I can see the vision here!

Lila lying about being best friends with Ladybug to gain Alya's interest! Lila making herself the victim and exploiting Marinette's eagerness to expose her to gather support from her classmates and take away her friends! She even says that's what she plans to do at the end of the episode! But...this never goes anywhere. Lila is almost entirely absent from the remainder of the season, and just...doesn't follow up on this? Instead all we get is Lila getting outrageous lies that require every other character in the room to lose the entirety of their IQ to even be plausible in the slightest. And the plot wants to pretend as if she's a master manipulator when all she does is tell extremely obvious lies that can be very easily disproven!

Even when she pretends Marinette pushed her down the stairs, nobody reacts in the way they should! Bustier and Damocles should have called in the school nurse, or a doctor to check her over, especially since Lila claimed to be in severe pain. It's completely unreasonable for adults to behave they way these two do whenever Lila is involved in anything. My point is that for Lila to be what the show says she is, she needs plot armor. People believe her just because they have to. It's demanded by the script. And it's infuriating!

It would be another thing entirely if Lila slowly approached each and every classmate and systematically inserted herself in situations as the "friend", or used small lies to slowly degrade Marinette's connections with others. She could ensnare Alya with little lies about Ladybug, and then act concerned and worried when Marinette denied everything without any proof (like we already see her do multiple times). And yes, obviously they can't devote another dozen episodes to focus solely on this, but the fact that we never see Lila even try to do it very much undermines her character. The narrative presents her as a master manipulator who pulls the strings from the shadows, and addmittedly she has some good moments like when she frames Marinette for stealing her necklace...but that can easily be disproven by checking security cameras, or by Adrien speaking up. Remember, he was there in Volpina when the necklace was proved a fake, and Lila is using the same lie here.

Not to mention that in each and every case where Lila lies, even in Season 5, the believability of that lie is solely dependant on the sheer incompetence of every (allegedly) responsible adult around her, and the fact that Marinette's classmates are contractually obligated by the script to believe her without a second thought. The problem here is that Lila isn't good at lying. What she says is either outrageous enough to warrant genuine concern if believed (ex: Marinette pushing her down the stairs. No adult would have made this girl walk back up that staircase without first asking if she was hurt and calling in a medical professional) or so plain stupid that it has everyone wondering where their lost braincells may have slipped off to. To give credit where it's due, Lila's manipulation of Chloe in Season 5 is actually pretty great and consistent with what we've been told she's supposed to be.

But...considering that by this point, (regarding Marinette's friends now) Alya knows her best friend is Ladybug, hates Lila, and was clearly right about the girl being a walking red flag...why does it take a DIY bathroom and a literal 300 IQ scheme to prove that Lila has been lying about things? Like, Alya, Adrien and presumably Nino (if anybody bothered to clue him in) should know that she's full of crap, and suspect her. Don't get me wrong, I love Marinette's whole fake bathroom plan. Genuinely made me marvel at how smart she is. But it also shows that the script still treats Lila as an Avengers-level threat...even if at this point in the story, her lies are just bad. We know from Chameleon she can't even keep her own stories straight (see Lila forgetting which ear her tinnitus was on), and this could have been an amazing detail the gang utilized to start convincing the others that she is lying.

The general problem with Lila's canon character is that she's underutilized, barely appears outside of when she absolutely needs to, and fundementally fails to be what she's been writen as, requiring her Villain Plot Armor™ to kick in and steal everyone's braincells away. I absolutely love the whole "Lila is a fox" characterization, because Volpina was literal genius! The metaphors and symbolism of Lila being cunning and always scheming? Amazing! But...what we actually get to see of her in action? Really, really bad. Also, I am not touching her three mothers with a ten foot pole, not until we get a canon explanation. Personally I ascribe to the Scarlet Lady AU version, but we'll see. Even the more obviously ridiculous things, like Lila having a whole secret lair in the Parisian Catacombs...I'd buy it. If there's IRL raves happening down there, then she could totally have a secret villain lair tucked away behind a few crypts or something.

What I wish we had gotten from Lila is honestly not a lot. Instead of just walking up to people and lying her ass off, I'd prefer to see her be more subtle about it. For Nooroo's sake, just get this girl to actually be cunning like all the fox metaphors want you to think! It isn't that hard to write a scene where she plays the "concerned friend" as Cerise to plant seeds of discord. Buggachat did it very well in "Open my Eyes", and it made me absolutely hate Cerise! And that's a good thing! Lila/Cerise/Iris/Whatever-other-identity-she-has-in-her-closet is meant to be hated by the audience! She literally is a "love to hate" character! And in Open My Eyes, Cerise actually did act as the concerned friend, she was subtle, she didn't always lie but sometimes twisted the truth just a little bit, enough to get the doubts to creep inside someone's head. I got so frustrated because I wanted Adrien to figure her out, but couldn't find a logical way for him to do so in the first place! Do you guys get what I'm talking about yet?

Subtle but convincing. Small and unnoticable until it's too late. That's how Lila should be, because it utilizes the most plot threads made by her lies. I can go on and on with specific examples, but I want to actually post this someday so I shall refrain. In conclusion, there are only two types of Lila. "I'm going to burn your house down and smile while doing it, then find a puppy and kick it into a sewer before emotionally scarring someone to the point of needing life-long therapy" Lila.

And the "cunning, sneaky and subtly manipulative fox who drives people insane slowly but surely as she makes them have an existential crisis" Lila.

I vehemently refuse to accept her canon version, and fear for Season 6 if she doesn't change into one of the above, or at the very least stops being so incredibly in-your-face about it. It's infuriating (in a good way) when the characters don't know, but if the lie is as obvious as "How was my weekend? Oh, nothing much! I just went skydiving on Venus, that's all really!" ...do I even need to elaborate? Because that's what Lila sounds like 96% of the time!

Alas, I digress. Feel free to give your opinion about our resident lying wretch, I need to go take a break before her incompetence drives me insane. I'll see you all soon...but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

[m-ilkiee]

Before I go, I just want to fucking clear my name because some of yall would turn around and try to blame shit on me. I got an anon saying something about harrassing a certain creator and while I shouldn't care since this creator was part of my pain, I need to make it clear that one - I'm not involved in doxxing anybody. I'm not involved in going to people's inboxes and harrassing them. It was a traumatic experience for me and I don't wish it on anyone.

Two- I do NOT give people permission to harrass anyone or send any of my followers to harass any of them. I barely interact with people on here apart from my close moots to avoid being dragged into the mud like what happened to me earlier this year. I'm more of a direct confrontational person, if I have a problem with you, I'll make my point clear on why I don't like you or I'll block you.

Lastly, to the creator involved, do NOT accuse me of shit I did not do like YOU did last time. I will not take it lightly with being harrassed by people who think I give two fucks about following you around. Stay away from me and keep my username out your mouth because that's what you and your mutuals will say next since you all can't hop off my dick yet you shake in your boots when you're about to mention her name, since I'm easier to blame because I don't fight back. You know the tumblr user who is harrassing you, she's done this to you before. You know its her. Go confront her and leave me out of this.

And to the harrasser, you can go fuck yourself, jobless piece of shit.

[targaryenofrph]

Patterns by Kelsea Ballerini Sentence Starters

Change the pronouns and tense as needed for your verses.

I've got patterns

I'm coming apart at the seams

I like the feeling of the feeling that leaves me staring at the ceiling the morning after

Maybe I'm the one to blame for doing the same old same

It's so much deeper than under my skin

Is this a battle that I'll ever win?

When does it start, and when does it end?

Will I outgrow all these patterns?

Will I unknow all these patterns?

You just made the eggs and turned your head

I know you're not impressed with my lack of sticking to the Bible

Maybe we got into a few fights

So I know it took a little tough love to become the woman that you're proud of

My priorities were out of balance

You told me to go but wished I was home

I wouldn't wanna do it with anybody else

Everything that's heavy, I check it at the door, kind of feel like I don't need it anymore

I got some bones of old skeletons from the old house at the dead end

I got baggage, but I'm moving in

We both slept on a mattress with "I love you" people

So I know the weight and gravity of key chains with same keys

if you want that "Welcome" mat, then roll it out with me

Cause home is when you're with me

I like the feeling runnin' with the wind

That's why I went and did what I did

He and I both had our guns to sling, damn, that showdown was embarrassing

I'm still here brushing off a couple things

It doesn't scare or bother you

Never knew I'd have a round two

Take my heart, but take it slow, 'cause this ain't my first rodeo

Love's the wild, wild west, ain't gotta tell me that

Tell me that it's gonna be alright even though we never know if we're gonna make it out alive

When it comes to me and you, I can't not try

I get existential

I get overwhelmed

Got two hundred seventy-something things to reply to

You put on the boots I like for dinner on Friday night

You say they're uncomfortable but you wear 'em anyway

If I went insane and didn't know my name would you stay beside of me, reminding me?

If I gambled away my money, would you back away?

If my jokes weren't funny, would you laugh?

How much do you love me?

Do I sound needy and dramatic?

We said that it was over, what'd you send 'em for?

Two things can be true

I'll love and hate you

I'll be your best and your worst day

I'll be your blessing and curse

Sometimes I'll cut and ghost but sometimes I'll get too close

You're nothing and everything I got to lose

I wish it was that easy when it comes to me and you

No use in diggin' up bones from the grave

When it's over, it's over

I could take a deep dive in the details

I could hide, I could cry 'til I throw up

It's as simple as "We broke up"

I could call my friends and bitch about it

Tale as old as time, I don't gotta wrap my head around it

Another boy driving off mad in a black truck

I have a nasty habit, leaving before I get left

You'll think my light's on yellow when I'm keeping you on "Read"

Stonewall my emotions even when I wanna cry tears as wide as the ocean

One fight, too many 3 A.M.s, I guess we're broken up

You're like, "This is just a conversation, baby, what the fuck?"

Now I'm screaming, "Goodbye," out like it means "I love you"

I'm better on my own

It's all I've ever known

Wait! Don't go!

I'm codependent with my independence through and through

How stupid of me to think you wouldn't listen

so once again, my head and heart are at war

Can I take it back now? Can we make it last?

Feelings ain't the facts, just the patterns of my past

I'd follow you to the moon

You know I'm ride-or-die for you

But if you want a chase, I won't run

I ain't gonna beg for your love

I wanna go the distance, babe

I can't do it if I betray all the way before you work I've done

If you want "Sorry" on my knees, that can't be me

Is this just way too tough?

Are you not strong enough?

God, you're all I want but not like this

It's almost like I don't care if I even know how to swim

You could save me, maybe I could save myself

If lovin' you is an ocean, then I'm in deep

I grew up wishing I could close off the way my dad did

That man never felt a damn thing he didn't wanna feel

I've burned too many miles trying to ride out all the sadness

You can't outdrive pain, someday it's gonna take the wheel

Can't be alone but don't wanna get close to anybody

Don't wanna bare teeth but don't wanna look weak, it's a tough spot

But I'm afraid you'll walk away when the tears start running

I wanna be the one that you're callin' when you're drunk

When you're dropping every ball, I'll be there to pick 'em up

'Cause that's just what you do when you love someone

That's the choice you choose, when you love someone

No conditions, I'd follow you to the moon, no suit

I would, would you?

If somebody does you wrong, baby, hold my beer

Yeah, I'd still die for you then haunt you when I'm dead

I'll think about these nights when we lost count of all the "That's what friends are for"

I gave hell a piece of my mind

It gave me a hit to my pride

But I came out on the other side

This time, last year, the heartbreak was undeniable

Day by day, I became unrecognizable

Makin' my rounds, shootin' my shot

Standin' my ground, pissin' people off

People thinkin' that I've changed used to be my biggest fear

It's gonna be okay

You'll live to see the day when you're gonna say look at me now

Are you safe on the road you chose?

Did you make it home?