#I'll never paint on ipad again

[kurosmind]

Clerics recommend to schnuggle your wizard first thing in the morning

[purplealmonds]

I watched the Mononoke Zashikiwarashi stage play!!

I watched the performances on 03/29 and 03/30, and I have so many Thoughts. But I’m on vacation and haven’t the spoons to draft them up coherently until I return home in a few days.

For now, I'll do a photo/art dump of my experience.

I arrived a few hours early to the theater (I had to take the train from Kyoto to Osaka, and built in time for potential navigational incompetence). While I waited for the theater to open up, cracked open my iPad and started painting in Procreate.

This is the exterior of Cool Japan Park Osaka's WW Hall. Shaking off a lot of rust from painting from observation, but I'm happy with how the colors came out.

Photo for reference, though I painted it live. Shadows moved quite a bit while I worked because I am slow.

This is the interior of the theater. I was forbidden from taking photo and video of this space, so I painted it it, albeit messily because of the short time I had before the performance began.

Winding back time a bit, here's the cardboard cutout stand the theater staff set out right before they started admitting people into the lobby:

It was a bit windy that day, so it actually snapped in half mere minutes after its installation lmao. Not pictured is the flustered staff tying Mr. Medicine Seller to the railing with some twine.

Selfie taken after the disaster:

Keeping an eye on Mr. Medicine Seller to ensure he doesn't misbehave agains, prints in hand to be gifted to unsuspecting theater-goers:

When I was seated, some of the giftees stopped by to gift me with an acrylic standee and a cookie! The standee is given exclusively to audience members who preordered their tickets super early, so it's amazing I got my hands on one! After the performance, someone also posted my art on their instagram story! O:

The performance visual, gift shop, and posters were also deployed around this time.

Also was pleasantly surprised to see a huge Mononoke Karakusa poster displayed. Unlike typical movie posters, this one was printed on a rather thick matte rather than thin translucent gloss paper.

And here's the merch and goodies I acquired at the lobby:

I was originally buying just the pamphlet, but as you can see I did a few more impulse purchases! I ended up getting:

📖 Zashikiwarashi Pamphlet - Hoping if productions of other episodes are a thing this can become a collection. The Bakeneko pamphlet was also sold here. If there's interest I can do a flip-through video of both the Bakeneko and Zashikiwarashi pamphlets!

🎟️Mononoke Karakasa Bonus Gifts: I thought it was just the clear file and a neat lil trading card but it seems like the trading card is actually a movie ticket??? I’m not gonna be in Japan when the movie comes out though but it’s a nice souvenir nonetheless!

🌇 Mononoke Karakasa flyer - The theatre had massive stacks of them to be taken freely. The first one got a bit wrinkled on my ride back to the hotel, so I grabbed 2 more after watching the 2nd performance!

💿Bakeneko Blu-Ray - This was something I thought I’d never get my hands as a US resident so I was pleasantly surprised they were selling this. Definitely a pretty penny but now I get to watch it at my leisure when I get home! May do a write up about it eventually. The Zashikiwarashi Blu-Ray actually went on sale today, but it only delivers in Japan. Sighhh. I guess I have no choice but to fly back when the Umi Bozu stageplay goes live. Or if it pops up on Mercari some time in August the price gouging hopefully won't be too horrific.

[catacamacat]

OMG your art is so good!!

do you have any tips? painting apps sugestion? I'll take ANYTHING!!!

have a nice day (er... night)

Heyy

Thank you so much! Means a lot <3

(Literally a lot, like… you ask me? Me of all people?)

I’ll try my best, pls keep in mind that i’m not a professional or anything, I’m talking about my personal experiences. I hope I didn’t forget anything

(Edit: IM SO SORRY IT’S SO MUCH, I’ve been yapping for the past one and half an hour since 4AM ToT you don’t have to read everything ofc, I still hope that everything makes some sense 🥲)

I’ll put most of it under a cut :)

Painting apps:

I have always used procreate for my digital drawings, but there are many good cheap/ free alternatives.

Since our school uses IPads to work it installed “Sketchbook” on our devices, and even though you can’t use all of the pens without paying there should be more than enough for free (I’ve never used a digital pencil that has been so comfortable to draw with for example)

But my favorite is and will always be procreate

Time:

I’ve been drawing for a bit more than 6 years, and sometimes I’m still very insecure about most of my drawings, I mean that when I look at them I’m just not happy or I think it’s not good enough…

But I always keep in mind how freaking horrible, like for real horrendously bad my drawings were in 4th grade when I started, and then I’m pretty happy with how far I’ve come ^^

Just know that this feeling will probably always be there, no matter if you’re a beginner or a pro, idk it’s just from my perspective, everyone has their own experience.

Inspiration:

For me one of the most important/ helpful things is inspiration. I personally am often very energetic when it comes to drawing something that plopped up in my head, it just brings the fun, you know?

For me my biggest inspiration so far to draw is TMNT. And I mean it, I don’t just say that because I’m hyperfixated to them. Ever since I’ve discovered the turtles far more than a year ago, drawing has been the most fun thing in the world.

For me the turtles are incredibly fun to draw, there are so many possibilities since there are so many different versions of them, and four of them. I don’t think I could ever grow tired of drawing them, and I think nothing has ever improved my art as much as them since they are so much easier and fun to draw than humans (imo)

There was a time period that last until around three weeks ago where I didn’t really was in the tmnt fandom anymore, idk how that happened but I hope it will never happen again. Anyway, I was trying to draw in anime- style or something like that, and as far as I can remember it was really hard and for me not really fun/ felt forced. The turtles always look how they are supposed to look, but humans… nah —~—

What I want to say is that you should also find something that’s fun for you to draw and that fills you with inspiration and energy.

Quantity:

A tip from me: draw every day

(but include breaks when you need it)

Of course it’s not always possible, but since I heard that tip somewhere on YouTube (also a really good way to improve) a couple of years ago, I was never able to forget it. I mean I didn’t do it of course, but somehow it still helped… in a way…yk?

I mean there are always times where you don’t draw, maybe over weeks and even months during art block or other reasons, but the more often you draw, the better you become at it.

(Btw I personally believe it’s impossible to draw every day, for me at least. But i don’t know, that sentence never left my mind and I think there has to be some reason for it)

People:

It can be really helpful to have people you look up to, especially in the beginning, for example was I a really big fan of Skottie Young (still am) and that guy who drew some of the TMNT idw comics (forgot his name rn), and trying to draw somewhat like them for practice really helped me to get better. It also can be good to have people around you that are artists. Can be

And now something somewhat more complicated:

Be careful about the people you are surrounded with, because according to what kind of person you are, they can really, really make you feel shitty about how you draw, or maybe bring you to a point where you don’t feel joy when drawing at all

Here’s what I mean:

For example take me. I don’t know how many people feel this way, but I’m for some unexplainable reason completely “allergic” to criticism. I know it’s not a good thing, but I also know it’s not really my fault.

Every time I’m drawing something, I just want to have fun with it, and for me it’s the most important thing when I draw. And having people around me all the way that have studied drawing, criticizing my work and telling me what’s wrong, maybe even make fun of it it something I really, really can’t live with. Of course it can be a really good thing to take those criticisms, but for me it was/is just annoying, like REALLY annoying.

For a long time I couldn’t really draw anymore when someone of that people was sitting next to me, and there have been quite a few of them. It completely took the joy of drawing away from me, no one should let that happen to them. (Luckily it’s better now)

Idk if that what I intended to say was said… 🤷‍♀️

One last, the most important thing:

Always have fun with and enjoy drawing <3

Good day/night/or whatever 💜💜💜

[nightfal1n]

Just curious, what sort of drawing equipment do you use? (Tablet, drawing laptop etc.) - sorry if this has been asked/mentioned before 😅

I have an HP Spectre myself, but it’s Very Old so I have to get something new soon and there’s too much to choose from 🫠

Also, I love your drawings so much!! I’m amazed at how you’ve been able to release new pieces daily - hope you’re not pushing yourself though 😣

Thanks for an ask! also been enjoying your okohoshi art and hc a lot.... they're soft (,,´ω｀*,,)

For my setup, I have gaming laptop (2021 ryzen 9 zephyrus) + xp-pen 14 (2nd generation) poor bundled remote control is never used for drawing and recently got Ipad pro (12'' 4th generation) as a backup device which I'm still trying to get used to.

Both has their own merit but maybe Ipad will be a better value for newcomers? They has a great screen and optimized application for more compact and cheaper package (compared to high-spec pc+tablet combo. full setup and software will end up cost you more). Though personally I'll still keep using PC as a main because everything on ipad are so heavily rely on internet. As much as I'm thankful to Procreate for one-time purchase it's still no Clip Studio Paint (sadly subscription-only for mobiles) and I'm aware of compatibility and stuff. For laptop at least I have windows 7 and old csp installation files to turn back to (<- will continue to be wary of everything live services until he dies)

Honorable mention: There's Z fold 4 I use when I'm outside and need sketching...it's okay for drawing (and excellent for almost everything else) but I do regret buying ibispaint on it. Didn't plan to have ipad back then orz (Concept free edition and Artflow are more than enough)

It's warm my heart to know there's people enjoying my arts out there. I do those routine to cope so...not a big deal.....um... (look at my own backlog and thinking what's wrong with this guy? is he planning to die sometime soon?....totally in deny that I'm looking at my own works)...I need to get something out to compensate saturday kn8 loss TTwTT AND NOW THAT I REMEMBERING IT THAT MANGA CLIFFHANGER IS KILLING ME AGAIN...yeah, I'm not pushing myself at at all (read: my life is already over since I decided to pick up the manga...but I'm content with that (*'▽'))

Here is a virtual tea&cookies set! Have a nice day (っ・ w ・)っ🍵🍪

[inwintersolitude]

- February 1st 2024 -

Do people hang up flyers around your neighbourhood? Not often. I'll occasionally see a flyer for a lost dog/cat, but that's all.

What's an interesting museum or special exhibition you've been to? I'd say my two all-time favorites are the Udvar-Hazy Center at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, and the Museum of London.

Have you ever been on a glass bottom boat? Nope but I've always thought that would be really neat, especially in tropical places where the water is super clear.

Do you ever sneak your own food and drinks into the cinema? Nope.

Would you know how to change a flat tyre? I learned how to do it years ago shortly after I got my license, but thankfully I've never had to change one.

Does it get really hot (over 40C/104F) where you live? No, the hottest I can remember it getting here is 101F, I remember that was in 2012 and I was working outdoors at the airport that day and thinking how insane it was that it got that hot! But usual summer temperatures here are not that bad, around 75-80F. Anything above 85F is really hot for here.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? Toast with butter/jam, eggs, cereal, muesli.

Do you have any mugs with cute or funny designs on them? Ahaha yes. Back when I got an Apple Pencil I was playing around with it on the iPad and I made super goofy drawings of my two birds. Then for Christmas later that year, my husband gave me a mug that he had custom made with the drawings on it.

Have you ever taken a Greyhound bus? Nope.

Do you stick to the rules or are you more of a rule-breaker? I'm mostly a rule-follower. With some exceptions, in certain circumstances.

Are you an aunt/uncle? Would you like to be? Yep. I have two nephews, ages 2 and 5.

Is there any alcohol you cannot stand? Is there a reason why you hate it so much? I am not a fan of rum. It tastes like some sort of nasty deadly chemical that you really should NOT be drinking, like how I'd imagine paint thinner or lighter fluid would taste lol.

Do you have raccoons where you live? Yep.

When did you first get a smartphone? I remember it was around the time I started my 3rd year of college. So that would have been late 2010?

Would you say you're easy to get along with? Yeah I'd say so. I take a little while to warm up to new people, though. Like I'm not the type of person who can instantly make friends.

Who was the last person who slept over at your place? We haven't had any overnight guests in this house now that we live near family again, but at our previous house in Virginia, the last people to stay over were my in-laws.

Do you ever keep fresh flowers in the house? Only occasionally.

Have you ever made graffiti? Nope.

Do you like off-colour, offensive humour? Sometimes. It depends.

Are you expecting much to happen in the next hour or so? Not much. I'll probably get a call from my husband once he lands in like 20 minutes, but maybe not because both his flights today are delayed for maintenance so he might not have time to call til the end of his workday.

[dumfanting]

Ok guys, it's been almost a full year since I broke out of my comfort zone and wrote/posted my first fanfic, so what better time to do it again?

I've never shared anything I’ve worked on this hard before, so I’m nervous about this.

If you've read chapter 25 of Same Heart, you've kinda met my OC, Shalka Myrr. Well, after more time than I'll admit, and a hell of a lot of work, mistakes, and trial and error, now you can meet her properly!

iPad, ibis paint pro. Background scene and midground crates referenced from Unsplash.com under unsplash license. Figure referenced with Just Sketch Me pose generator app. Text reads “grounding plates” and “copper wire”.

[animaginaryartblog]

Hello there! I'm Grace, aka AnImaginaryColor. You can call me Imaginary or Grace, I'm not picky. I'm a young Christian woman with a passion for storytelling - written, drawn, and hopefully, someday, even animated! Of course, you're probably not here to read a lengthy bio, so I'll put that under the cut and get right to the goods.

[Image ID can be found in alt and in the original post, here: https://www.tumblr.com/animaginaryartblog/730474364565405696/two-versions-of-a-digital-painting-of-blaze-the?source=share&ref=_tumblr]

This blog is safe for work and (mostly) clean. All my content is at most PG-13, always swear-free, and never sexual. Posts I reblog may occasionally have swear words or heavier content, but typically they match my own content (and again, nothing sexual). I'm working on writing up image IDs for all the art I've posted; I'm new to the practice, so lemme know if I'm getting anything wrong!

Primary fandoms: Sonic, my own (unpublished rip) books, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Rise of the TMNT

Primary tags:

My art - all art (that's been posted on Tumblr) by yours truly. my art can also be found on DeviantArt, Twitter, and Instagram.

My writing - that's right, it's words! by me!!! mostly fanfiction. all fanfiction. my fics can also be found on Archive of Our Own and Fanfiction.net.

My sketches - rough sketches and WIPs

Other people's art - reblogs of art by other people that I think is cool

Not art - everything that isn't art (like this post!)

Still here? Great, I'm gonna ramble. I'm a hobbyist artist, primarily self-taught and very reliant on internet tutorials. I started out in traditional art, but nowadays I'm almost entirely digital. Most of my drawings are created using Procreate on an iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil.

I draw a mix of fan art and original content; I'm also an aspiring writer (I started writing books long before I started seriously learning to draw), and I'll often draw character and creature designs from my various projects. In the fan realm, I primarily draw Sonic fan art (especially Blaze, I love she), with occasional sprinklings of Yu-Gi-Oh!, Ninja Turtles, and whatever else strikes my fancy. also AUs. a lot of AUs.

The content of this blog is entirely safe for work and clean. I try to keep everything PG-13 at the most (I have younger brothers, after all). As mentioned before, I am Christian; I believe the universe was created by a just and loving God, that He sent His son to die and be raised again in order that we might be saved, and that the Bible is the inspired word of God. My faith influences everything I do, and I am always seeking how to better live as an ambassador of God's Kingdom. I stumble, frequently, and I definitely don't have all the answers, but the goal is always Jesus.

All that to say, I don't bite! I may be socially awkward, a little timid, and have a slightly off-kilter sense of humor, but I'm always open to making new friends and learning new things. I hope you enjoy your visit and have a lovely day!

[livewireprojects]

Rambling about old art program

I'm mostly doing this cause I want to ramble & I don't want it being most of the text on an old image I'm posting.(Cause lots of rambling)

When I was younger I had a program called Manga Studio Pro 4.0, I didn't know how to use it much but I eventually was able to use it good enough.(Although at points I couldn't figure how to remove the text on some things if I was making a comic instead of just an image) This was an old program, while some of my stuff was digital installs I don't know how I got or were already there(MSPaint) this was the old way involving a CD that came in a box with a code.

At some point either from either from losing the box(this was a program I had a CD & code for in the past), using it too many times(I transferred computers a few times) or who knows what like not knowing how to use the code or losing the code for it I eventually lost the ability to install/use it. I think I tossed everything I had left for it after I lost the ability to use it & I don't remember when I tried to reinstall it. It worked I was able to reinstall it I just couldn't figure out if I had the code or not anymore cause some stuff confused me.

I don't remember much but I know that when you saved new projects you'd have a folder with the file to open the picture in the program(with layers there if they were there) & an image that was a jpeg full sized(depending on how big you made it) image with all visible layers merged.(I mean it's an image so of course) I have many unfinished projects I found in some backups I made of past computers, they'll never be finished & I'll never be able to open them up in the program again. It's not like I could finish them without starting over anyway thanks to how much shit has changed.

Looking around what I was able to it seems the most recent pics I made in manga studio were from 2012 which was my second year of high school.

My art programs back then were MSPaint & a copy of Paint Tool Sai I found somewhere(I bought a license for the program a few years back so use an actual legal ver now)

When I was younger I use to use Photoshop CS & MSPaint(every once in a while I used Manga Studio Pro 4.0)

Today/in recent years I use Clip Studio Paint EX, sometimes Paint Tool Sai, MSPaint occasionally(mostly use it for quickly pasting screenshots or stuff to copy to paste elsewhere) & very recently Procreate.

Up until a certain point after high school I drew with a mouse, I sometimes draw with a mouse but I mostly use a wacom tablet I've had for a few years. Also use an ipad for procreate.

It's kind of funny, I didn't use manga studio that much but I use clip studio paint a lot now. I bring this up cause manga studio is still going, it's called clip studio now.

Here's so images I was able to find from when I still used the program just so you can see what I worked on. If you've seen my art stuff you'll know how much things have changed too.

This pic was from 2011, it's an old image of my fursona's quad form

To the right is a more up-to-date version from 2016, not much has changed but the paw print is gone(the tail has a little more detail like it has fins now)

Here's a pic from 2021 were my fursona is dressed for pride month that shows better details. Funny enough first pic is manga studio, second pic is sai & third is clip studio paint so I guess it comes full circle.

Pic 1

This is the most recent pic(2012) I made in manga studio, according to the description I sketched it in manga studio then colored it in sai, the text is done in MSPaint. This was for an Alice in Wonderland based project I didn't get far in except for a few ideas.

Pic 2:

I have no idea when I made this, DA says I posted it there in 2012 but going off the art style looks older than I recall. After trying to search around I think this & pic 3 are maybe from 2010 & I got a little better in 2012 when I made pic 1.

This is for someone I use to know that I don't exactly have good memories of. I use to be in an AMV group with her & at some point she requested art from me & would repeatedly ask if it was done. I don't remember how often but I know she was asking about it to the point it was considered rude especially after I asked her to stop.

This was for one of her projects that as far as I know never got very far. I don't even remember what the plot was. I think it was two high schoolers falling in love while caring for a kid that was either their future daughter or the guy's little sister.

I think I was experimenting with the background on this & pic 3 cause I think the backgrounds had to do with finding random brushes & using them as much as I could were I thought it fit.

Pic 3:

From the same person that the less said that I remember the better cause I'm just going to end up ranting about how she kept making child me pissed from repeatedly asking if an art request was done when I kept asking her to stop & it wasn't done yet.

Anyway I think this was suppose to be for a slice of life fanime she was working on. I don't remember much past the blond(Midori) being the I think main character & something involving her having 3 ex-boyfriends with the magenta/pink hair one being dead. I think I drew this before pic 2 but I put it at the end cause there's more stuff.

Three of the images(the image in the thought bubble, the photo to the left & all three chibis if you count them as one image) were all imported into manga studio to be part of it.(Or the photo on the very left & the chibis were imported cause I think the pic in the thought bubble was edited in using Photoshop CS & the text was shaded in Photoshop as well)

Here's the three images in pic 3

Pic 1 was made with MSPaint & Photoshop CS(background is one I made in photoshop at some point), the writing was suppose to look crayon like cause this was before I had Sai which had a crayon brush

Pic 2 was made traditionally on paper & with sharpy before editing it in Photoshop CS. Don't know where I found the floor, the text in the corner is the only thing helping me guess this is from 2010. That cat charm is an old character of mine, was kind of a joke on Hello Kitty for some reason.

Pic 3 was made in MSPaint

I got one more pic I made in manga studio but it's getting it's own post.(Link to said post)

It's kind of crazy just how much was done & how much has changed from then & now.(I dunno how to end this)

[timextoxhajima]

Nevertheless: Wishful Thinking [3]

[completed] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

synopsis: why would the college flirt want anything to do with the innocent heartbreaker? a [somewhat] nevertheless au featuring tbz's eric son young jae

genre [per chapter]: suggestive material, smut *this series is a smut series so* please don't read if you're uncomfy. if you're underaged and you still wanna read, i'm not stopping you. i don't care because that's your responsibility to know what's fiction and what's not.

word count: i genuinely don't fucking know i think it's at least 4k WHY THE FUCK IS IT GETTING LONG ERJSJSJSJDNAKD

taglist: @from-xero @taeyongandfree @ten-gift @louvyves @sweetutopia @yyyereum @jung-breadshop @sunwoowuvbot @mashedpotittiess

protip: links of BGM are linked~

{this is a work of fiction}

eric swipes his thumb across his bottom lip and drags his index finger over the tip of his nose, tongue still sucking on his teeth as if it hadn't already been a day.

he was sitting on the other side of the tutorial room and you just so happened sat in a spot where he was the first person in your view when you looked up.

stupid hexagonal tables.

the moisture in your mouth suddenly evaporates, leaving your tongue dry like sandpaper against the roof of your mouth.

the lustful blanket over his eyes threaten to rip your mentality apart, and even without him touching you, the heat in your abdomen starts to clench and throb.

the thought crosses your mind, just so you can convince yourself: if eric can associate himself with sex within your primal instincts then the brain that got you here can associate him with a big, fucking, red flag.

you suck in a deep breath and hold it for awhile, eyes plastered to the ipad under your palms. crossing your legs tightly, your jeans hug your hips and waist all too perfectly.

yujeong had smacked one of her baseball friends earlier that day for staring at your legs.

after the likes of wooseok's party and the incident yesterday, you made it an effort not to show up in dresses or skirts anymore. call it ptsd, call it trauma, call it not wanting to get into trouble.

whatever it was, you didn't want eric anywhere near you.

well, despite how good he mad-

"can you stop eye-fucking him from across the room?" yujeong harshly whispers at you, glaring at you from the corner of her eyes.

"what?" throwing your tied-up hair to your other shoulder, you tilt your face to her.

"what do you mean 'what'?" yujeong hisses, nodding to the boy across the room. "y'all are fucking in your heads!"

"yes, broadcast it to the entire class, would you, please?" the sarcasm drips off your tongue with a frown.

"I'm just saying if you want him so bad then just go get a room. fucks' sake, go find a practice room or something."

"i think I'll go with 'or something'."

and in that second, your iPad lights up with a notification from the school email account.

yujeong parts her lips with a retort, but you quickly shush her by pressing a finger to your lips when the professor seemed to glance over at the two of you.

she inhales a deep breath, spotting the notification pop up on her laptop screen too.

to: all students

from: the college union

title: dance union winter getaway

dear students,

every year, more than 200 students apply for the dance union but only 20 are accepted. thus, it is of high regard that the members of the dance union utilise the annual winter getaway to bond.

this year's event will be held at lake white. all students in the dance union with leadership positions are expected to be present and those with valid reasons of absence are required to fill up the form attached to this email.

if you're interested in joining the dance union, please apply in the first week of the new academic year. applications open first week of the semester.

regards,

the student union

staring wide-eyed at the email with your apple pencil trembling in your fingers, you gulp.

fuck.

yujeong's lowly snicker sounds from next to you, and you look to her, only to watch a bright smile stretch across her face.

"what?" she snorts, tears in her eyes. "don't look at me. look at your captain."

your neck snaps to the boy across the room, who's got his phone lifted with the screen displaying the email page. he waves it around a little, raising a brow with a menacing shimmer flashing across his eyes.

your blood begins to boil without reason.

why were you suddenly stuck to him? it's like the planets and stars aligned just so he glue himself to you; so he could ruin your title and rip you apart, inch by inch.

your fists clench around the apple pencil, and you're only snapped out of your inner rage when the professor calls on you.

yujeong leans into the lockers with her books against her chest, mindlessly scrolling through her phone as you go on incessantly about the student union's decision to make it mandatory.

you swing the locker door so hard that it bounces off its limit and nearly comes back down onto your hands, but you stop it before it does.

"how does the fucking winter getaway improve our bonds?" you hurl a textbook into the locker. "it's not like we're gonna sit in a circle and sing hallelujah, right?"

"you went for that getaway last year-"

"yeah, and we did nothing besides getting shitfaced! fuck this stupid winter getaway."

"sis, say that any louder and your 'innocent heartbreaker' image is gonna change into something more like 'brutal heartbreaker'."

"don't fucking call me that," you hurl another book into your locker. "and why does everybody talk like that nowadays? 'say that any louder'? where was that from? a movie? a tiktok?"

"why are you so on edge?" yujeong pushes herself off the metal doors and frowns. "you've been on edge ever since wooseok's party."

"i am always on edge."

"what?" yujeong pulls her lips up into a slight wince as her eyes half into squints. "bullshit. what happened to your little 'innocent heartbr-"

"don't," you lift a finger, shutting your eyes and stopping her. "say another word."

yujeong raises both her brows, smirk plastered to her face as she readjusts her bag. "don't worry."

you look up at her, placing the last item in your locker.

"i don't have to."

"what?"

"so," then that godforsaken voice rings from behind you, and all your physical senses start to shut down one by one.

yujeong sees right past it, smirk turning into something less devious as she puffs her cheeks.

"about the winter getaway."

"i'll leave the two of you at it."

"what? no-"

"bye!"

"yujeong-"

she turns and strides off, short hair lathered around her neck. she waves with a bright grin, leaving you to back face the vicious heartbreaker.

you remain rooted to the ground, locker door wide open and bag slung around your right shoulder. eric waits until yujeong disappears down the hall, leaving a few other students within the vicinity to turn and stare at the two infamous dance captains.

eric walks to your side, reaching out and resting his palm on the outer edge of your locker.

"we're in open space," he smiles, gradually pushing the locker door inwards and closing it for you. then he rests his palm against the metal door, sandwiching you again. "there's not much i can do to you."

a few students turn to stare.

"unless you want me to."

"stop it."

"stop what?" he smirks and buckles his arms, forcing you to lay your back flat against the metal surface. "I'm not doing anything."

"then what are you doing now?" you frown and look up at him, knuckles whitening around your bag straps.

"having a conversation."

someone fishes a phone out, and the flashlight flickers.

eric whirls around, keeping his arm anchored to the locker.

"stand down, kid."

"sorry," he fumbles with the phone, and now you'll never know if he actually took a picture.

"anyway-"

"look, i don't know what kind of game you're playing but this isn't healthy for us if we are supposed to work together. especially with the winter getaway coming up."

eric licks his lips and lowers his head, smiling at the sudden cast of professionalism.

"it flatters me that you don't care too much about having fucked outside of wooseok's garage-"

"eric-"

"nor getting fucked out in the practice room-"

"eric-"

"or even the fact that you tied up your hair today-"

"i tie up my hair whenever i fucking want to."

"ooh," eric winces at the snap, his pearly whites glimmering under the lighting. "the 'innocent heartbreaker' is angry!"

"will you shut the fuck up?"

"aw," he coos, leaning into you and breathing down your philtrum. "make me."

your fists finally clench, jaws locked and temples tightened.

"I'll rip off your dick if you touch me again. now, back off."

you press your palms flat into his chest and shove him away, breaking him into light chuckles as he stumbles back.

you pull your bag back onto your shoulder, turning sharply and stomping off.

"hey! we still need to meet up to discuss the plans for lake white!"

the scent of half-painted canvases with acrylic paint washes through your nose when you enter your room.

it's definitely bigger than what a normal room should look like, but it's not your fault that both your parents work under Lee Enterprises, the country's telemarketing company.

the studio corner of your room is in a mess, and you're just halfway done painting the edges of your mirror.

which for specific reasons, you can't really look at it anymore.

the peculiar object you chose to decorate the glass surface hang idly on the corner of the frame, reflecting the afternoon sun spilling into the room.

eric son: so when do we discuss the plans for lake white?

eric son: i don't like to procrastinate

"'discuss the plans for lake white'," mumbling under your breath, you dump your bag into the corner of your room, huffing and resting your hands on your hips. "he's the damn captain, isn't he? he can do it on his own."

notification: acrylic paint to be delivered today

your phone automatically links up with the bluetooth speaker in the room, and you mindlessly tap on the shuffle button before pulling off your shoes.

eric son: okay so I'm thinking groups of four

you pull off your jacket and let the ends of your ponytail brush across your back where the camisole doesn't cover, cool air rushing across the hairs on your skin.

eric son: we can play truth or dare

the bass rumbles through the flooring as you pull off your jeans, throwing on one of those open-holed shorts that no one was ever going to see you in - not even yujeong.

the doorbell rings, yanking you out of your mental rage session over eric son.

acrylic paint.

picking up a cardigan and tying it around your waist, you jog down the stairs and pull open the door without hesitation.

She's just that type of girl

"what. in the world. are you doing here?"

eric tilts his head to the side, his eyes running the length of your body - all the way down to your feet and back up.

"you weren't replying my texts so i thought-" then he raises both hands from his sides, taking a step back and gesturing to your front porch like he owned it. "what better way to have your presence than to go to you?"

"how do you know where i live?" a frown befalls your brows, and your grip tightens on the door handle.

"it's in the school records for student leaders," he offers you a smug shrug, taking a step back to where he was previously standing.

your lips part in an attempt to challenge his explanation, but then he waves it off with a cheeky snicker. "I'm joking. yujeong told me."

"now, why the fuck would she give you my address?"

"hey, captain to captain! plus she knows i won't hurt you."

a scoff runs off your tongue. "you want me to believe that you won't hurt me?"

eric's tongue darts across his lips as he leans on the door frame. "not in your house. oh, i wouldn't dare, princess."

with a huff, you blink away the eye contact first, taking a step back and tugging on the door. "don't fucking call me that."

but his hand flies out and thuds against the wood, keeping the door open. he slowly steps forward, letting himself in.

"then what should i call you?"

"names exist," you step back and grip onto the empty arms of your cardigan around your waist. he closes the door, pulling the chain to lock it.

"then do you prefer y/n or 'innocent heartbreaker'?"

you squint at him, cocking your face at an angle as you back up again.

the answer settles in your head, but you can't say it out loud.

because he's already debunked it.

She's just that type of girl

"fun playlist," eric nods up the stairs, arm stretching out to you and snaking around your waist.

"don't fucking touch me-"

then his other hand circles you as well, his arms around you as he holds you to him, lowering his face into yours. an arching back tries to keep his face off yours, but any more and your spine would've snapped into two.

his nose presses into your cheek as he slots his lips between yours, and the world goes into a muffled silence for a few seconds.

or maybe that was just your playlist moving on.

your nails dig the inside of your clenched palm, fists against his chest as he pulls you up to deepen the kiss, lips moving with yours in some intricate dance of dominance.

on beat with the distant bass coming from your room.

he lets out the first groan, his hands gradually sliding down your back and groping the flesh of your rear that's poking out from under your shorts.

the harsh grip squeezes a whimper out from you, your entire body cringing forward into him and closing the gap between you. with one palm still holding onto your ass, the other comes back up in between your shoulder blades, keeping your chest plastered to his.

eric turns you around, holding you against the wall that leads up to the stairs. your back is flat against the surface, hair stuck to the felt of the wall with your thigh being pulled up over his pelvis.

We should just calm down and fuck some time

then he pulls away and huffs, lips hung wide open and his eyes completely lost in yours. in a low growl, subtly shakes his head as if to disapprove your disobedience against the song lyrics.

"oh, we fucking should."

eric doesn't bother waiting for a response before dipping his nose into your jaw, lips latching onto the tender skin of your neck.

"you coming here-" a jolt of bliss rushes through you when he finds a tender spot, his arms tightening around your waist to keep you close and against the wall. "-was not an invitation-"

the cologne on his clothes starts to intoxicate you like alcohol does to any normal person, the scent of his hair and his clothes wafting and shuffling all around you.

"but you don't hate me being here, do you, princess?" he mumbles into your skin, nipping at the spot behind your lobe. your eyes flutter shut, fists clenching against his shoulder blades.

"come on," he whispers. "we've done it outside and in a practice room, surely you must feel more comfortable in your own bed?"

your eyes widen upon the suggestion, the thought of that cursed object hanging over the corner of your mirror in the room suddenly pulling your soul back into your body.

"no, we can't."

eric pulls away from you, lips reddened from the nipping. they are apart, and his breathing slows as he studies your face.

the panic in your eyes is far too grave for him to miss.

"why not?"

gulp.

"you don't happen to-"

"it's not a vibrator."

eric raises his brows, caging you between his arms as he corners you further, chest on yours and his lips right above your lashes.

"perhaps a-"

"it's not a dildo either."

he pouts in slight disappointment when he can hear the stark honesty in your voice.

his chest rises and lowers under his shirt, listening to your breathing that hitches in your throat every now and then; observing your discipline to keep your eyes away from him.

"you're not gonna tell me what it is?"

glaring at him through the corner of your eye, you shake your head with a resounding 'no'.

he pauses.

then he leans into your ear.

"you being scared is just making me a little more curious, princess."

"curiosity kills the cat."

eric pulls away and slides his arms off the wall. "cats have 9 lives."

the number of sirens that go off in your head spikes, and before you can process his words, he grabs your arm and pulls you onto his shoulder.

"oh my god!" his arm wraps around your lower back, knees against his chest and the world from your eyes upside down as he hoists you up the stairs. "put me down, jesus christ!"

"the more you yell, the more you're gonna regret it, princess," he warns while chuckling to himself. "what could it be, if it's not a dildo or a vibrator?"

then the warmth of his palm reaches up to your shorts, and his fingers dig under the cloth of your underwear.

"fuck, eric-"

all too easily, he pushes a finger into you, your entire body cringing from the sudden intrusion. your eyes blur out just as he makes it to the second floor, and he doesn't need to ask which door he should be heading to.

not when your door has a framed portrait of yourself from last year's concert.

the door creaks open when he pushes the two of you into your room, greeting the sunlight drawn across the floor and his finger still buried inside you.

you heave a sigh when he pulls his finger out and shoves it into his mouth, leaning over your bed to rest you into the cushion.

automatically, his eyes are on high alert, scanning your room. but by the time you've regained your senses and the blood's returned to the rest of your body from your head, he finds it.

resting on the back of your forearms, your breath turns shakey and your eyes twitching from the sight of it dangling off his fingers.

eric turns to look at the mirror, turning the item in his fingers to match the painting of it on the edges.

"so," he returns to you, raising a cocky brow and smirking. "you get high off painting handcuffs on your mirror?"

you tightly shut your eyes as the frown cements into your forehead.

"fuck."

eric scoffs, tongue dragging across his upper lip as he walks towards you and lifts a knee to your bed, the other following.

"this really makes me question how you even got your reputation," eric jingles it from his fingers, his free hand reaching down to draw circles on your right ankle.

"it's just acrylic paint. i paint something new every month-"

"and so your choice for november was... handcuffs?" he wraps his hot fingers around your ankle and yanks you downwards, your crotch nearly meeting his knees.

"it's not my fault you decided to play this game the month i decided to get something remotely inappropriate."

"'remotely inappropriate'," eric repeats, smiling as he lowers himself. the handcuff still within his right hand, his left draws trails up your right leg, playing with the rim of your shorts where they were already riled up enough to expose a bit of your underwear. "so, tell me princess. why did you choose this-"

he holds it up and jingles it over your nose. "to paint?"

"surely it's not because it's pretty."

"or maybe you think it'll look pretty around your wrists?"

eric reaches for your hands and you struggle upon instinct, he pins your dominant hand down first and clips the first cuff around your wrist.

"eric-"

he finds your free hand and connects both your wrists, clipping the other cuff despite your struggling.

eric sucks a deep breath, then parts his lips to exhale. pushing himself off you, he pulls your shorts off first, eyes trailing across every inch of your body with your wrists cuffed together.

the thoughts wash through you involuntarily.

the wooden planks. the dress. the torn underwear.

the mirror. the fogging. the skirt.

the tears collect in the corners of your eyes even before he can completely get it off your ankles.

then he pulls your legs apart for him to lock them in place with his own thighs, crouching over your body like a lion devouring his prey.

he pushes your arms up and above your head, making it difficult for you to bring them back down with your wrists bound together.

his breath is hot on your chest where he first dips his nose into, tongue swiping across the skin of your heaving ribs. hands coming up your waist and pushing them up your torso, it exposes your ribcage and bra.

inch by inch, he breaths down the length of your torso, from your chest and over to your stomach with your camisole rolled up messily over your bra.

upon reaching the rim of your underwear (and heaving stomach as you pant and huff in a bid to calm your nerves), he stops and looks up at you.

"thank god you rejected wooseok."

then both his hands come down to your chest to rip apart your camisole, pulling it out from under you before he unbuckles your bra.

you swallow the first whimper already on the tip of your tongue, but your stomach plunges and your back arches violently when he takes the tip of your breast between his lips.

left hand coming round to grip your other, his right travels down to play with your sensitivity, forcing your body into subtle jolts with the overwhelming sensation.

he tugs on your tip, grazing it between his teeth before releasing it and latching his lips onto the tender flesh in a bid to make his mark.

your brows finally furrow into a frown of bliss, jaw hung agape though struggling to contain the lewd noises prancing about in the back of your throat.

he rolls the other tip between his index finger and thumb, sucking and kissing the reddening flesh of your chest.

and down below, he's pushed your underwear aside, thumb abusing your sensitivity and buckling your hips upwards.

he provides you one sharp bite on your tip, earning a strained hiss from between your teeth. it feeds his pride, for he removes himself off you completely and stares down at you, admiring the painting he's made on your chest.

hickeys.

grip marks.

and the wet patch on your underwear between your legs.

he turns and shifts off the bed, leaving you to catch your breath and cross your legs over one another.

the clacking about in your studio corner drives the tears into your eyes, listening to the lid of the box where you keep your paint come off.

you shut your eyes, resigning to fate.

for your body is in burning need and the discipline to go against his word has betrayed you.

you hear his belt come undone, the weight of his clothes hitting the carpeted ground before the mattress around your legs sink again.

"oh... princess~" he sings, coaxing you out of your mental begging that this was just a nightmare.

a corner drags across your stomach, and your eyes fly open to see his fingers wrapped around a bottle of acrylic paint, completely oblivious to him pulling your underwear off your legs.

black.

the only color that was still relatively abundant.

then the sight of his nudity drives you up a wall inside your head; better yet, driving your resignation up against your own skull.

the lines of his pelvic bone leading down to his manhood all for your eyes to feast on, and even if you wanted to look away, you couldn't.

fuck.

"listen to me very carefully, princess..." he shakes the bottle, then proceeds to unscrew the cap. "I'm sure you don't want any of these on your bed, right?"

chills run through your body when he tilts the bottle over, squeezing the paint onto his palms.

"so," he blinks back to you, eyes wide and cautious. "my advice?"

and with that, he carefully caps the bottle, effortlessly tossing it over his shoulder and back into the box.

he presses his palms together, spreading the paint across his skin.

"don't move too much."

with a wide grin, he smudges the paint into your thighs and up your stomach, sliding the paint all the way to your breasts where he offers a harsh grip.

he doesn't give you a chance to respond to that before he slides himself into you, your neediness allowing him entrance far too easily.

by now, your body was somewhat conditioned to recognise his size, but the idea of him buried deep inside you and his groaning coating the room makes you a little more feral; a little more insane.

the whimper that runs off your tongue is mercilessly lapped up by him when he leans over to kiss you, tongue shoved into your mouth in a bid to shut you up.

he rolls his hips back and forth, unwilling to stop and definitely unwilling to give you any kind of mercy when it comes to making you lose your grip on reality.

he pulls away and resumes an upright position, abs flexed and his palms still gripping onto your chest like his life depended on it.

but eric seems to be a little on edge himself, for this was his first time seeing all of you under him, instead of your humility covered by a dress or a skirt and worrying about being caught in school.

no.

now, he can feast his eyes on you like the predator he is.

not only does he decide to leave his own marks, but marks that you gave him access to.

his handprints are black on your skin and the entire bed is jerking along with every thrust he's offering you.

you finally let out a strained cry, tears collecting in your eyes with the bliss rushing through you over and over again like a broken record. eric's breath turns shaky, and his grip on you begins to loosen when his thighs start to convulse.

by some miracle, the last thrust hits your climax and he pulls out almost immediately after to coat the paint on your stomach with himself.

cream on black.

eric huffs arrogantly, taking deep breaths to retain his breathing as he releases you, stepping back to take in the sight of you in your own bed, ruined by him.

"you definitely look pretty in cuffs."

[hankmoonbeam]

Someone asked me to post this fic here on Tumblr in addition to Wattpad. So here it is. My way of coping with the slow death of Catfish and the Bottlemen. It’s sad but maybe there’s some hope buried in here? You can decide for yourself. 💛

—

Into the Mystic

A/N: This work is fiction, inspired by the band canceling what we thought would be their final shows, at Cardiff Principality Stadium. 

I know next to nothing about the lads' real lives, and this is not intended to imitate them. But I have a lot of feelings, and this is my way of dealing with it all. Thank you for humoring me.

2146 words

—

bob

My back is still sweaty enough to stick to my t-shirt as I pant up the driveway from my run, the afternoon sun searing my shoulders.

But instead of going straight for a shower, as usual, I duck into the garage. I usually practice later at night, but today I feel a pull. Something's drawing me in there.

Not bothering to stretch or cool down, I swig from my water bottle and toss it to the ground, lowering myself onto my stool.

My kit warms up like honey on a hillside, my sticks as familiar to these calloused hands as my own fingerprints. A few rim shots to warm up - who am I kidding, I'm already sweating - and I'm off.

If I close my eyes, the kick drum slides so perfectly against the snazz of the hi hat, and the reverb from the snare glues them together...and underneath them all, I can all but hear that roar, the din of the crowd, their screams and whoops and voices carrying over my in-ears. Over these hunks of metal and skin I'm bashing with all my might. Over the wail of John's guitar and the thump of Ben's bass. And, of course, Van's mighty yells.

Suddenly the lights flicker.

I slow and stop, grasping the cymbals, and look up with a smile.

She's leaning into the doorway, her hand on the light switch. Our code, for when she's looking for my attention but knows I'll never hear her voice.

I stand and go to her. Smooth my hand protectively over the soft rise of her belly that juts out so beautifully underneath the tie of her dressing gown. Not long now, I think to myself.

But as I envelop her in a hug and kiss her temple, her face is painted with empathy.

"Must be hard to hear the news. That why you were going at it so hard?" Her voice is soft.

I pull away, blinking at her. "News?"

She raises a brow. "I thought you'd have seen? Ah. Come."

The kitchen smells of garlic and cloves, savory and sweet melding together as she waves to the iPad on the counter and pulls the stew from the oven. I sniff and nearly groan at the delightful scent.

"There," she says, motioning again to the tablet. I look down and read the open tab.

"Due to unforeseen practical issues..."

I breathe out long and hard. My shoulders sag. I press my lips together, finish reading, and dim the screen.

I place my hands on the counter, lean against it on my palms. Drop my eyes sadly closed.

"Think everything's...okay?" Her voice is still soft, soothing, and I feel her hand sweep across my shoulders in reassurance.

"I don't know," I say, honestly. "I don't know."

She reaches under my arm, turns me around to face her. Holds my cheeks in her palms. I kiss her wrist.

"I just wish he'd return my calls," I sigh. "I just wish...I wish...a lot of things."

She nods. "I know, baby. I know."

I bend my lips to hers, kiss them softly. Let the tension flow out of me, into the air, into the floorboards, until I'm focused singularly and completely on her. Where I belong. Where I most love to be.

I pull her into a tight hug, making sure to squeeze her above her bulging midsection. The three of us. This is what makes me happy.

I just wish he could find real happiness, too…whatever real happiness is for him.

I still hope that one day, he'll find it.

—

benji

I spider my hand out from under the covers and it lands haphazardly on my buzzing phone on the nightstand.

I groan as I roll over and pull it under the sheets, into the darkness. Before I see the message, I see the time. 6:37 am.

Will he ever, ever learn to sleep like a normal person?

I rub a knuckle over my eyes and swipe on the message. And there it is.

announcement's out.

It's not news. We'd made the decision weeks ago, and we heard from the promoters yesterday that they'd announce today.

Still, as I tap out a reply, it settles onto my chest like an anvil.

you ok?

But I know full well I won't get an answer. Not to that kind of question. I never do.

Against my better judgment I tap over to Instagram and scroll through comments. Of course people are angry. Of course they're out money. Of course they're whining and bitching and moaning and blah blah blah...

I shut my eyes, press my thumb and my forefinger into them. My hand is unexpectedly shaky and clammy.

It's all his fault, I think bitterly, heat rising to my neck.

If that stubborn ass had just gone one way or the other, we'd have been done with all this so much sooner. But no. He had to work at Van. Pressure him. With all his claims of "caring about the band" and "what we've built together" and "moving into a new era" and all that bullshit.  That was never going to get him anywhere. Had never gotten anyone anywhere with Van.

At least Bob had realized that, and had made his choice.

I press my lips together as the well of anger rears itself into my scalp.  It's so stupid, I know. But I need closure, and right now, this is the closest thing.

I tap over to his profile. I look at him for a moment. I tap 'unfollow.'

Then I feel her shift in bed beside me and I realize that, in my tense state, I've pulled most of the covers to my side. I push them back, tucking them gently around her sleeping form.

Suddenly the cats are here. I smile softly as they mewl and curl up in that crook behind my bent knees, nestling into the duvet and settling into a purring sleep. I smile at the mass of grey and black fur. They always know when I'm stressed, and they always come.

I press my chest into her back, nuzzle my nose into her neck, and she hums softly in her sleep. I close my eyes.

After a long while, I fall back to sleep. 

--

johnny

"Nah ye fuckin eejit, take it then won't ya!"

I yell and grab Lou by the shirttail as he tries to jet past me, laughing like a maniac, his pint splashing out of its plastic cup.

But he's a strong bugger, stronger than he looks, always has been, and he keeps moving, hauling me right out of my seat and onto my ass on the floor, knocking over my mic and sending my music stand clattering across the rehearsal room floor.

I use my new vantage point to wrap my arms around his ankles, and he shrieks for help. Ed clamors over just in time to grab the beer from his hand before Lou is on the ground, and I'm climbing atop him, reaching for what he's got clutched in his hand.

"Gee us it nah!" I growl at him, clawing at his sides.

Lou screams with laughter, my coonskin cap dangling just out of my reach, and he yells again to Ed for help. But Ed's got his phone out, he's chuckling and filming now, and gradually I get the better of Lou, pinning him under me. My hand inches up toward his to grab my mammal-skinned prize.

"Errgghhhh...do you even...DIE BRO?!"

Lou screams right in my ear, and I recoil, the momentary shock allowing him to wriggle free, right himself and dance away across the room, giggling like mad.

I stand up slowly, grinning, beaten and unwilling to chase him further, although he's hopping around like a rabbit, in that hyperactive wild way only he has. Ed's hooting and jeering and Jack's resurfaced with two more beers from the cooler in the back. He grins and hands one to me.

"Right," I sigh. "Ye can have yer plaything, ye little child," I say, my eyes darting playfully at Lou as I sip the beer and pick up my guitar. "Some of us are gonna actually rehearse, like."

Gradually Lou's persuaded to get back to business, and we bang out some live arrangements on the new tunes. I'm itching to get these songs out there. Last weekend was such a thrill - even being on stage at that tiny festival, playing for 50 people, made me happier than I'd been a in a long, long time.

Finally Lou and I settle down to rehearse our acoustic one, and Jack and Ed sit to the side, chatting idly. Halfway through the song I notice Ed show Jack something on his phone, then they both look over at me warily. I shoot them a wacky grin, but underneath I'm curious.

While we're packing up the equipment, Jack brings it up.

"Aye Bonds, guess the cat's outta the bag eh? Or, the cat...fish?" They all chuckle derisively. I look at them, clueless. Jack swallows before speaking again.

"The stadium announced replacements for that gig." He shows me his phone.

I see the names and nearly choke in shock.

"Fucking Feeder, are you fucking on one? They couldna get anyone better than tha, what --"

I stop, noticing the glances they're all shooting each other. Lou claps me on the back reassuringly. I shrug him off, clearing my throat.

"Got nothing to do with me anyway."

We all pile into Lou's old rambler, gear and all, and we barely fit, arms and legs sticking out in all directions. Ed blasts Scritti Politti and I'm singing along at the top of my voice, laughing like mad. My hair whipping in the Newcastle wind. Telling myself I don't care, that now it's over. That I can move on.

But I find myself looking at my phone, having pulled up an old contact. One that I could never quite bring myself to delete. One that I haven't spoken to in a year. In so long, that I don't know what I'd say.

And that's just it. What would I say if I called him now? I have no idea.

So I put the phone away, and turn back to Lou. He gives me a sympathetic smile. Then he slams the coonskin hat onto my head and whoops with glee.

“Hand me my vuvuzela, would you Bonds?!" he yells, and I utterly piss myself with laughter.

--

van

Nights never change here. It's fucking class.

They're all gorgeous, all fair, all warm and smooth and covered with that haze that's not quite smog but not quite clouds. Fuzzy, like.

I take the last drag of my ciggy. I look out across Los Angeles.

The sea's nothing like at home. It shimmers. It's vast, huge. It hugs you, makes you feel propped up, validated, like it's there for you, and the city's there for you. Nothing like Llandudno. But why would it be? Sleepy seaside tourist town, huge fucking coastline metropolis.

The air ruffles my hair and blows it into my eyes. I need a cut, and soon. Maybe next week. Or the week after. It doesn't matter much these days.

Today'd been harder than I'd planned. Than I wanted it to be. I'd seethed at the new names on that bill. Nobody'd told me who they'd be -- not that they'd had to, they didn't owe me fuck all. But Christ. Gruff Rhys? Feeder? Insulting.

I shiver, take a sip of tea. Gaze out over the balcony railing at the mountains where they meet the water. At the beaches, at the moon's soft glow against the buildings crowding right up to the shore. The hundreds of moving red and white lights snaking their way through the city on the freeways.

I strum absently on my guitar. A mist is moving in from the ocean, settling close to shore, making everything hazier. Unclear. Uncertain.

I light another cig, humming my way through a melody. I stop, hum through again, changing up a few notes. Finally I play it all the way through.

"That's a good one, that," I say to myself.

--

[rapidpunches]

ART GUIDES AND TUTORIAL REQUESTS OPEN AGAIN

I never really left tumblr completely but now I've definitely returned.

If anybody needs anything once again I have Asks and Anons turned on, on my blog so ask away. I have Krita, Medibang, Ibis Paint X, Inkscape, Rebelle, ClipStudio, GnuIMP, some animation programs and so on at my disposal so have that in mind if you need anything specific. Still poor as dirt so I don't have ipad+pencil+procreate so don't ask about procreate things.

Just ask "how do you..." + whatever it is, and I'll break down how I'd go about it with you. If I suck, well, at least you'll have a studybuddy for whatever the hell it is.

[dootdootwriting]

C-Can I request the whole fluff alphabet for Albedo? 😳💕 tysm and please don't overwork yourself! <3 also, CONGRATS ON 600!!!🎂🎂

albedo the little meow meow... ANYWAY yeah i love him. also my ipad broke so i can't make any more headers so we're back to the original regional ones 😔

oh yeah also we're WAY past the submit date so any other reqs for the 600 event won't be done, i'll just finish the ones i already have in my inbox and then get back to regular reqs!

...

fluff alphabet with albedo; no warnings; under the cut for length

ALBEDO

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

- albedo loves to take you up to dragonspine to accompany him while he does his work. it can get boring though, so every once in a while he takes you out with copious amounts of blankets just to sit outside on the mountain and look out at the view and talk.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- i'm saying literally everything and i know that sounds cheesy but HEAR ME OUT. albedo thinks every part of you is beautiful because as an alchemist, he's trained to notice details and how they come together to form a whole. this is no different when it comes to you - he notices every little part of you and thinks all of them are so wonderful because in total, you are you - the most perfect being in the world.

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

- he'll brew you something to help you calm down or to regulate your emotions, and then he'll ask you how you're feeling and write it down to determine his next actions. usually they include giving you as big of a hug as he's capable of.

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

- ideally, you two will stay together forever - but albedo is aware of his own self and how much of a potential danger he is. he knows that as he is now he'd never hurt someone on purpose - but if that day were to come when he wasn't himself, he knows you'll be prepared. still... as likely as something is to happen, there is always a chance that it won't, and albedo clings to that as hard as he can.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

- albedo is somewhere in the middle! he likes bouncing ideas off of you and will also always be open to your own opinions and thoughts of what to do. you're equal in this relationship.

F-Fun (what do they do for fun with their s/o? what’s their idea of a fun day out?)

- albedo's idea of fun isn't necessarily the conventional one, but then again, he's not exactly a conventional person, either. he likes doing little harmless experiments with you on other people, so some days you'll go down to mondstadt and count how many people jumped when albedo threw a bird at them, how many caught the bird, and how many tried to fight it. it was ridiculous but very fun.

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

- he's very grateful. dragonspine gets lonely and cold very easily, and he's very grateful for all your visits to his lab. he has sucrose to help sometimes (she's often the one to escort you there too) and he knows how much it means to come all the way up a freezing mountain just to be with him.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

- albedo takes a while to open up fully, and after that keeps secrets but not on purpose. he'll literally just forget to tell you something - it's a product of being alone for so often, he's not used to letting someone know whenever a new development comes up. he's working on it though.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

- all his paintings have had a slightly brighter, warmer feel to them since he met you. he doesn't deny it either, he just smiles and says "i wonder why that might be?"

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

- nope, albedo is very trusting. he figures if you take the effort to come visit him every weekend to climb up a mountain then he doesn't need to worry about you ditching him for someone else.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?).

- he's just naturally a good kisser, without even trying. your first kiss was to give him a little burst of energy to finish his experiment trials, but it ended up distracting him so much he had to redo them.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

- plans it out TO THE T. he has on his schedule when you arrive for your weekly visit with him, the place sucrose plans to take you instead of his lab like usual, the fire and the food he has there already, and the words he has to say when you arrive: "i just wanted to express something to you, since you come up here so often. you're the brightest point of my week, and i truly hope i get to look forward to this for a long while to come. for simplicity's sake, i love you." you might have started crying when he said that.

M-Mornings (what’s it like waking up with them? do they sleep late or wake up before the sun rises?)

- albedo wakes up late because it's COLD outside and he's warm in the bed with you, so why would he leave prematurely? being in your arms lulls him into a sleep so deep you might mistake him for a dead body. and besides, there's nothing to be late for - he works on his own schedule.

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

- VERY BIG fan of my love, he thinks it's concise and accurate. what more could he need?

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

- he's not shy about it. he tells sucrose immediately so she can help and she giggles at him a bit at first but then promises not to tell until he's ready and helps give him romance advice. before he's ready to tell you, though, he's very good at seeming normal and not at all in love. what no way why would you say that did someone tell you something-

P-PDA (how are they with PDA? is it fun to them or are they more reserved with their affection?)

- albedo doesn't really have any opinion on pda, mostly since he doesn't get out a lot, though when he does he's fine with it as long as you are. if you want to give him a kiss on the cheek, he'll let you. if you want to hold hands, he's more than happy to. either way, he's fine with it.

Q-Quirk (some random thing they do when they’re with you for no reason in particular)

- sees you in just about everything - even regular flowers he sees around his camp every day. he sees them and remembers how you looked when you saw them for the first time.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

- albedo is more creative because he doesn't really know any clichés - but he's romantic nonetheless. he asks for your input and makes sure your comfortable and checks in on you every now and then - that's his way of showing you he's there and he cares.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

- supports you all he can, but is also very busy with his own explorations. anything he can do to help, he will, as long as it doesn't interfere with his work.

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

- albedo prefers routine as it allows him to work his plans off of you. if he knows there's a plan for the day or he knows how you tend to do things, it's easier for him to take you into account and make sure you're doing okay!

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

- not very empathetic since he's not around people a whole lot, but he does care a lot, so all he needs is for you to express what you're feeling.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?).

- very important. you're right up there with his experiments and then aside from klee and sucrose and the knights, he doesn't really pay much attention to anything else.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

- albedo scrunches up his nose instinctively when something gets close to him

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

-.. yes

but seriously, he loves loves loves physical affection. he's a little shy about it at first but eventually when he's burnt out for the day or just needs some love he'll come over and politely ask for hugs and they are the best hugs ever. he prefers cuddles over kisses but will take either any day.

Y- Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

- like nothing's happened tbh, he goes along with his painting and his research like usual, but he finds himself missing you when he asks what you think of one of his findings and realizes you're not there.

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

- he's not sure he's capable of going to any sort of "great lengths," but anything within reason, he will do.

[dausy]

I know social media works on me because I really just wanna be like those people who go into the cute japanese or korean stationery stores and purchase all the art supplies and stationery.

I am not sure why these stores arent as prevalent here. I'm pretty positive Americans like stationery too.

anywho I purchased these Rapunzel fineliners but these grey mood emo pastel monami pens were speaking to me. Again, if I was a bajillionare I could hoard all the Tangled products. But I'm in such a note taking mood. I do not have the patience for a bullet journal or really..any journal at all..I have two 5-year-journals and I hate filling them out. Honestly tumblr is a lot more fun but I do enjoy note taking and learning. I'm holding myself back because I dont need 1000s of pens but lort knows I'm probably going to be buying them.

I did purchase a little stationery tin because my new japanese paints are tin-less and they need to be put into something before they mold. So I'll have that coming. I'm waiting for a special notebook to come in. I've been trying to read books in spanish and I'd like to write down spanish words I've had problems with down. Not quite related but I'm toying with the idea of getting a keyboard for my ipad. This goes into another rant about me vs the postal system and me never getting my packages without a fight.

otherwise I've gotten nowhere in the artist-sphere.

I've spent my entire weekend filming for the youtubes and the tiktok (made my own dog a tiktok: dauscorgo). But I do wanna mention how many other things I pile onto my plate. Ignoring regular chores (like laundry, dishes, walking the dog) but I study spanish, I had to take my dog the vet yesterday for a follow up, I finished a book and started a new book, went to the gym, did my online learning, now I'm suddenly interested in nail art and I tried to redo my nails and I'm fitting in Horizon Zero Dawn on the side and right now my husband is home interfering with all of this. I think he waits for the moment I sit on the couch and then he says "wanna go with me to the store?/walk the dog?/go to the pool" no I just spent hours doing optional stuff in an attempt to better myself and now I want to vegetate.

[salemroseworld]

So, I thought my first post should be a bit of an introduction, so you know a smidgen about me, my life and what delights you can expect if you decide to stick around! Here we go.....so, I'm Hannah Rose, you can call me Hannah, pleasure to meet you, I'm 39 (I'm clinging on to these last few months of being in my 30s for dear life right now) I live on the south coast of England with my hubster Jack , my 14 year old daughter, 6 year old son and two doggos MJ a 2 year old cavalier king Charles spaniel, and Nova a 13 year old Romanian shepherd, yes I am a crazy dog mama, my pooches are very much family.

My life is different and probably if you were a fly on one of my walls could seem a little strange to you, why? I'm happy you asked, I'm a 'Spoonie' for those who have no idea what I mean, I'm someone who lives with chronic illness, and in my case not just one, I happen to be greedy; I have 6 yes I said SIX diagnosis, which are, in no particular order, Crohns disease, arthritis, fibromyalgia, ankylosing spondylitis, mast cell activation disorder and psoriasis I will go into detail about each of these in later posts, I'm differently abled and use a powerchair, I have a feeding tube for nutrition and a portacath for IV medications, in short I'm in a bit of a pickle 🥴 and my day to day consists of large amounts of medications, pain, trying anything to ease the pain, hospital appointments, hospital admissions, weird symptoms from each illness, fatigue, more medications, not knowing how I'll be feeling one hour to the next and more medications, all while attempting to live some kind of 'normal' life with my family. The funny thing about these illnesses is on a rare good day, if you saw me without my wheelchair or feed connected, I probably wouldn't look sick to you, and sometimes I quite like that, other times not so much, more on that in future posts, the point is, you can never tell just from looking at someone what they have going on. What else...... Well my hubster is my carer and I literally don't know what I would do without him, again there will be a post all about that, and it WILL be mushy just to let you know, he is my twin flame without a doubt and my life changed so much when I met him, he brought ME back. I'm an artist, I love painting and mixed media but a lot of times I'll use my iPad and procreate, as painting in bed on bad pain days can be a little errrrrrr messy (whoops) and lessons have been learned. I also make items with resin, and create South American style beaded jewellery (my heritage is South American) which I CAN do from bed HOORAY! I was making so much that I decided to open a little Etsy shop called Salem Rose Design and share my creations, it's still new but I love it, feel free to check it out....or not, whatevs tickles your fancy. Another facet to me is I'm an eclectic witch and empath, I don't strictly follow one specific 'craft' or ' path' I do what feels right to me, which can be a pick n mix mash up of different traditional and more modern crafts, and that's how I like it. I'm quite a spiritual soul, I love crystals and do tarot and numerology, I'm also currently doing a reiki course in my own time and at my own pace which I will follow with my reiki masters diploma.

So yeah, these are basic snippets of my roller coaster life which can seem like a tragic comedy sketch at times, it's hard going, but can also be wonderful, in going through what I have, I don't take life for granted and I try to be as positive as I can be, whilst also being open and honest about my experiences. And that is what this is all about, honesty and AWARENESS even if one other person reads this or any of my future posts and thinks,ok this is similar to what I feel or go through, and then doesn't feel so alone, then I'm happy. On that note, I'll finish rambling for now, if anyone has any questions or wants a general chat, I'm here and look forward to meeting you!

Stay safe and big love.

Hannah Rose. 💜💜

[haleviyah]

iPhone is in the ICCU

Yes, my iPhone finally hit the Intense Cellphone Care Unit is now on life-support and in need of a battery transplant. *insert sarcastic "yay..."* What I'm saying guys is BAD NEWS: that it's off and it won't turn back on. The dreaded low battery icon is not going away. It's that fried. Some of you may be skeptical, because I've been repeating this narrative for two months to no avail... but I am being blunt an honest here: A few hours after I shared my prices on dA, Tumblr, Amino and my website - BOOM! Phone shut itself off again, battery wasn't reading or charging after it turned back on. I tried restarting it to snap it out of limbo, and now I regret turning it off. I even gave the poor thing a day to turn on... nothing. I pressed the power button so many times, I'm surprised I haven't broken that part either. Now, some of you all may be wondering why, oh why I didn't get the phone fixed sooner: Well guys, business was freakishly slow and I needed to eat. That's all I can say. Also, like I said, I over-worked myself to the point I had to close down my comics section due to high demand. I will take responsibility for that. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind working on comics. I love it. But when the work is underpriced that's where I will slap myself for being so stupid. Plus... You want to know a really silly reason why I didn't talk about my phone sooner since this has been an issue for a year... Some of you guys are probably gonna laugh too. To come clean here I feel SUPER awkward asking for help. Every time I ask for help, I feel like a bother or broken record to a degree... I have never asked for help because I'm either too damn used to doing things by myself, or I'm used to people not helping me at all. I'm gonna be honest, you guys on and offline have proven me wrong on the latter the past years which is great. But I also beg for your pardon of me being quiet of my issues because of what I explained; I even have this habit of putting my needs, my issues on the back-burner to take care of others. I'm looking at myself confused right now, because I broke knuckles and got down to business when it came to getting my husband a new computer after his Lenovo got infected with a virus and crashed. I was on the ball with that... So why am I not cracking those same knuckles for myself when I NEED THIS PHONE during this difficult time? That's the more root reason why I was quiet until it was too late. I feel so embarrassed, but it's the truth. But enough of my lament of regrets. Am I upset about my phone being in "iHospice"? Nope! Surprisingly I am not... I'm just thinking "Well, I can't use that anymore. At least for a while." To be frank with you all, I'm getting tired of my temper rising up when shit happens... Its as though my temper is about as burned out as my phone battery. So enough with my ramblings, let's get serious here: For those of you who use Instagram or Messenger to message me, I won't be able to reply probably for a long while. Thankfully my Mac and iPad are still going strong (Jesus, I'm so fucking low-tech), and I can talk to people through: Email DeviantArt Tumblr Amino My Website So not all is lost, really. So what now? Well, battery replacement is still on the table. I can either do it myself or a professional do it for me. (Doing it yourself looks more charming I'll be frank...) BIG NOTE: You guys don't have to buy character commissions from me all the time, (I understand they look cool, but still) that's why I opened different simpler, cheaper more relaxed options such as backgrounds and photo editing that when multiplied can offer more than doing a Character Commission one after the other. I have these options out because not only is it more convenient for you to have something different, but it's convenient for me to relax more with the work load. Basically, we both win on that case - you have a cute, fancy painting for grandma for Christmas for half the price Target will charge you, and I can breathe with hopefully a functioning phone. Hell I even still have other

experimental ideas. Remember those customizable posters I mentioned a while back in Spring? I think I found a trick to make that possible, but it may take a while for me to release a demo to test it out. This is another reason why I opened up my website so that way I can keep talking to all of you and you guys can just drop messages to me asking for commissions. So yeah, I really need this repair done soon otherwise I don't know what I am going to do... I honestly don't know what else there is... It's OKAY if you can't commission me, don't sweat it just spread my commission info around. That's the least I can ask for from you all. And last of all is this urgent. FUCK yeah... it's urgent.

[urfangirl18]

As promised here is the first chapter of my fan fiction 💜

1. One Fateful Meeting

'why did it take you so long to pick up Mei-ah'

I laughed at the pouting face of my best friend Jiwoo as she artlessly sat down on the seat in front of me looking as gorgeous as ever in her off white lacy dress that she paired off with open toed sandals and a black jacket. Her cheeks were pink from the cold and she smiled at me graciously as I pushed the warm cup of caramel latte towards her.

'mian Jiwoo-ah I had to rush a couple of things at the office but I'm here now.'

I said as I took a sip of my hot tea grateful to be inside this cafe while looking at the soft pitter patter of raindrops on the window. It gave me peace amidst my ever busy life in Seoul.

'have you heard?' she asked as she tapped my hand on the table and pointed at my open macbook.

'my laptop? what about it?'

'for someone who graduated with honors in 4 courses way back in college how can you be such a pabo sometimes?'

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders at her 'I have no clue...soo spit it out Jiwoo-ah and no I am not dating your dongsaeng or any of your friends...please.'

She pouted while shaking her head 'why not?? it's been so long since you dated someone...who was he again?'

I flinched at the reminder of that awful date and shook my head as I motioned for her to continue with her news and what made her point at my laptop.

I was currently checking the website I was working on as much as my eyes were wanting to rest from reading codes after codes that I dealt with in the office earlier.

'I have awesome news from your imaginary boyfriend...' she said with a smile 'open google please and type his name.'

'imaginary boyfriend my ass' I mumbled knowing that I was blushing like mad at that moment. 'what about Satoh-san?'

She grinned at me while typing something on my laptop. She frowned a bit as she saw that I was working and smiled again as she found what she was looking for looking obviously pleased with herself...should I tell her that she looks a bit like a Cheshire Cat?

'clear your schedule this Friday until Sunday...you my gorgeous chingu will be modeling for my clothing brand with Takeru Satoh.'

'oh sure...'

I nodded clearly not believing a word she said for how can she and the management secure a modeling contract with the ever busy Takeru Satoh.

'no shit Jiwoo!!!' I said as I sucked my breath at what I was reading 'how the hell did Yuna and Georgie manage to snag this?!!'

I wanted to scream for joy but since we were inside a cafe all I managed to do was grasp for my bestfriend's hand in support.

Indeed the management and Jiwoo finally snagged a contract with the Takeru Satoh, the famous Japanese star.  My mind was reeling with questions as I was reading the news about it. It happened this morning while I was swamped with work and couldn't check my phone.

'that's why I was calling you!! You're perfect for this Mei-ah and I know you wouldn't want to miss being in the same set with your one and only love.'

'how did we afford him? This man is worth thousands no millions when it comes to a modeling contract. There is absolutely no way we can afford this...how do we get that investment back?'

Jiwoo grinned at me and shook her head in disbelief. It was then I forgot...she can very well afford to get even the highest paid actor in Hollywood for who am I kidding? Even without the help of  her influential and very affluent family my bestfriend owns one of the most successful fashion boutiques in Asia and Europe.

'I can't believe this...' I muttered 'I don't think I can model for this...maybe hire a professional for this Jiwoo...it's too huge of an investment if I don't pull this off.'

'ohh no!! you are not backing out of this Jeon Mei Lin. There is no way I am letting you say no! His agency wanted you to be his partner for this shoot.'

I would have fainted right at that very moment when I heard what she said.

'his agency? why?? we have plenty of models...why me? I only work part time.'

'they were mesmerised by your beauty and charm as simple as that and we know you're a perfect fit for their star as well.'

she whispered as she slowly took my glassess off and untied my bun. I squinted as I tried to get my eyeglasses back from her but knowing my bestfriend she won't give them back unless she has her way.

'for how long will you keep hiding yourself behind these glasses Mei? How long will you be depriving the world of your beauty?'

I rolled my eyes at her compliment and sighed...if only I can tell her. If only I can tell her the reason why I choose to hide my eyes beneath my glasses then maybe instead of convincing me to model along with the man of my dreams she would be helping me look for a husband so my family could leave me be and we could all live in peace.

Sadly all I can do was keep my mouth shut and nodded at the offer given to me. No one can know and no one must know. It's safer that way.

'alright I'll do it...I'll take my leave on Friday and Monday. Anything for Satoh-san and your boutique.'

I told her with a smile to which she jumped up from off her seat and gave me a bone crushing hug. For a tiny thing Jung Ji Woo sure can hug...makes me wonder where she got her strength from.

'kamasahamnida Mei-ah!! Don't worry everything is taken cared of all you need is to relax and look all pretty on Friday.' she then smiled and added 'should I accidentally book a hotel room for the both of you?'

I groaned and shook my head at what she was planning. I doubt anything can happen if she does that. This man whose pictures has adorned my phone for as long as I started being his fan would never notice me. He was just way out of my league. He travels the same circles as Jiwoo and her family or my cousin's also very affluent family. I didn't belong there...or should I say I don't even belong in this world. I was made for something else and I have been trying my best to not think about it.

I was destined for something else and the longer I dilly dally the more my head starts to pound. Is it too much to want what other girls have?

I hid my sadness in my cup of tea as I found Jiwoo smiling while looking at her phone talking to her fiancée no doubt. Whereas my single ass was in dire need of a fucking date but then again with the hideous glasses I wear I doubt anyone would want me.

*Satoh's POV*

'your flight for Seoul is on Thursday night Takeru-san and here is your schedule during your stay there.'

I smiled in gratitude at my assistant Takei-san who handed me an ipad as I took a break from work. It was a warm day in Kyoto and I was just finishing up the last few takes of a modeling stint for Versace and I was looking forward to a cold drink.

I sat on my chair inside the cool shade of the villa we were in and stretched my back. It was a long day but I had fun. Unbeknownst to everyone I was not just into acting or modeling though my family approved of it and allowed me to pursue what I love provided I don't forget to help run the business empire that our family has.

The money and the power my family has gave me the freedom to do whatever I love but it doesn't mean I don't work hard for it. My success wasn't handed to me on a golden platter I worked thrice as hard to get to where I am and to amass whatever success I hold

After that modeling stint with a very famous fashion line in Seoul I would finally get some much needed rest and to check on some of my businesses in Korea including my new baby which was a game and software development company which is now doing exceptionally well in both Korea and Japan. It was also starting to gain recognition in the US as well.

Personally I want to congratulate one of my lead game and software developer there who produced a game that has now over millions of downloads and users all over the globe. I also want to discuss another software app that I have in mind with him.

Yes I was all about business but maybe just maybe I may get a chance to rest a little bit when I get to Seoul.

'and the management of Meijiwoo agreed to our request. The shoot will be held privately and your partner is someone they deeply trust.'

I nodded as I checked the ipad and the profile of the model I will be working with. Looks like I would be having fun with this shoot. I smiled as I checked the portfolio they have sent...the girl in the photos could surely be a professional model in Seoul for she has the beauty a master artist would want to paint. She wasn't overly beautiful like the rest of the girls I had worked with or even the women I dated but there was something very alluring about her. It was then I saw her eyes. They were a brilliant shade of blue and the more I look at them the more beautiful they were getting.

'what's her name? is she a foreigner?'

I asked Takei-san to which he shook his head and said.

'she's korean, that's what the management told us but I can get some more information about Mei, Mei-san.'

So this beauty is named Mei...looks like my trip to Korea is getting more interesting and Friday couldn't come any sooner.

I smiled as I continued checking her portfolio most of the modeling she has done was for Meijiwoo and some korean make up brands. She was a beauty and for sure her agency wouldn't find it difficult to market her abroad. With her enchanting blue eyes this girl could conquer to world and it made me wonder why doesn't she have any other works than in Korea it was a shame to not let the world know of this beauty.

'Takei-san make sure to find out who her manager is maybe we can arrange a deal with them for a contract. Her beauty shouldn't be hidden.'

I said as I handed him the ipad and closed my eyes...looks like I have another business in mind. My parents would be so pleased that in whatever I do I always put business first forgetting myself sometimes.

I sighed and got a drink from the table and walked towards the window admiring the zen like beauty of the garden outside. The glass of whisky in my hand mocking me. I am now at the top of my game, of my career. I have achieved everything that I could ever want but why do I feel hollow inside?

Amidst the fortune I have from all the years of hard work why do I feel lonely everytime I go home? It's as if the more I surround myself with luxury the more empty I become.

'I probably just need to get laid...'

I muttered as I took my phone and checked who among my female friends are free and mentally reminding myself to buy her a gift as a token of my gratitude. It was always like this...after hours of pleasure I still feel so damn empty inside.