#I'd Rather Die Than Live Forever

[punkrockmixtapes]

Brendan Kelly & The Wandering Birds - American Vagina

[not-the-living-ghost]

Listening to Conan Gray and crying because burning down Netflix HQ is "frowned upon"

[serpentine-sweetheart]

I am Not going to live past 30 LOLLL

[ohisms]

↪ 𝑽𝑨𝑵 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮 . ( a collection of sentence starters from the 2004 film . adjust phrasing as necessary . mature themes present . )

oh , [ name ] . it's just you .

where are you going to run , [ name ] ?

what are you saying ?

why do you think i brought you here ?

you said you believed in my work .

i would kill myself before helping in such a task .

you've been so kind to me , [ name ] .

you can't kill me , [ name ] .

so , you're the great [ name ] .

we all have our little problems .

let's make it your decision , shall we ?

i wish you a week in hell .

why don't you do something about it ?

this is all a test of faith .

i can curse all i want , dammit .

you . turn around .

strangers don't last long here .

the laws of men mean little to me .

i don't need your help .

you stay here . they're trying to kill me .

nice to see you too , [ name ] .

did i do something to you in a past life ?

i hope you do have a heart , [ name ] . because someday i'd like to drive a stake through it .

your reputation precedes you .

i am hollow ! and i will live ... forever .

please , say you will not try again .

do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .

i was unprepared . it won't happen again .

do you understand forgiveness ?

i would rather die than help you .

don't be boring , everyone who says that always dies .

may he rest in peace .

how long has it been , 300 , 400 years ?

you don't remember , do you ?

what exactly is it i am to be remembering ?

it's no surprise you would know all about me .

we have such history , you and i .

have you ever wondered why you have such horrific nightmares ?

[ name ] , it's alright , i'm taking you home .

what , did you think we haven't tried everything before ?

no one knows how to kill [ name ] .

i could have used that information earlier .

would you like me to refresh your memory a little ?

allow me to ... reintroduce myself .

i think we've overstayed our welcome .

don't give me that look .

you were right . i'm sorry .

monster ? who's the monster here ? i have done nothing wrong !

look , there's still time .

you were right . i'm sorry .

do you have any family , [ name ] ?

if you value your lives , and the lives of your kin , you will kill me .

evil may have created it , may have left its mark on it , but evil does not rule it .

now you know why they call me a murderer .

oh my god ... you've been bitten .

so much trouble ... so much trouble .

now you will become that which you hunted so passionately . may others be as passionate in their hunting of you .

don't worry , god will forgive us .

how many commandments can we break in one day ?

oh my god , you should be terrified .

how does it feel to be a puppet on my string ?

neither of us has ever settled for half .

you make my skin crawl .

i'm not gonna like this , am i ?

one brief moment of pain , and we can be together forever .

you have no heartbeat .

you are nothing but damned bones , and damned souls .

well , that doesn't sound like a good thing .

we don't have a choice . just don't get killed .

you don't understand , it doesn't matter what happens to me .

god is not the only one that can create life .

you can't go until i say you can go , and i say you can go when you're dead !

you're supposed to die .

we are both part of the same great game , [ name ] , we just find ourselves on opposite sides of the board .

you are being used , [ name ] , as was i . but i escaped , so can you .

if you're going to kill someone , kill them . don't stand there talking about it .

all i want is life . the continuation of my kind .

some things are better left forgotten .

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lookism: "If you die tomorrow, would you have any regrets?"

G/N. Jake, Goo, Gun, DG, Ryuhei, Sammy. Reminder that Gun is canonically a gamer lmao.

Jake looks up at you in surprise, the morbid question catching him off guard.

"Why?" he asks, tilting his head.

"It was just a question I read."

"Hmm," Jake rubs at his chin and gazes off somewhere in the distance, no doubt thinking about all that has happened in his life. "Yeah. Loads."

Oh. You weren't expecting that-

"A lot of things I've made my peace with," Jake shrugs and you know he means Sinu and Samuel and Big Deal.

The mess with Workers, the falling out with Samuel and end of the Golden Era, the arrest of so many of his crew. He knows his mom is disappointed that he is so much like his father, his time in juvie, and Jake thinks if he tried better in school instead of fighting then maybe things would have worked out a lot differently.

"But-" he tugs on your hand, pulling you off-balance and falling straight into his lap.

"I'd regret not spending more time with you. All the time trying to be a good boss rather than a good boyfriend."

You open your mouth to argue that he is a good boyfriend but he continues on-

"I'd regret leaving you on your own. Even though I know you'd find someone easily," And Jake manages a small wistful smile, "I'd regret not being there for you."

.

.

"Me?" Goo blinks, looking up from his manga.

"Yes, you. The only other person here."

"Just checking, Cupcake." Goo thinks briefly for a moment before making up his mind.

"I'll regret not seeing how this manga ends," then he narrows his eyes, stabbing angrily at the page, "And not going to Japan to hunt down this asshole for killing my fave off-screen."

"Goo!" Maybe this is on you for expecting a serious answer.

He gets up and makes his way to you, peppers kisses all over your face as you roll your eyes. "You're not planning on killing me are you, Sweetheart?"

"Yes. Tonight. There's a knife under my pillow."

"Make sure you don't wake me, do it quick," he grins mischievously then-

An unpleasant thought pops up and he pulls a face. "Once I'm dead, you better not fall in love with anyone else. My ghost will haunt you, y'know."

"Fine, I'll just be sad and alone and mourning over you forever."

"Perfect!"

But what would Goo actually regret?

What's the saying? You can't take it with you.

Goo has such fun plans once he retires from all this crew shit. Neither of you have to work another day again, you can just spend the rest of your lives terrorising the general public instead. Travelling the world, swimming in a pool of money together, sleeping on a bed of cash. All that fun stuff.

Goo doesn't regret the time amassing his fortune, his little safety net for the future. But if he was to die tomorrow, he would regret not having that future with you.

.

.

Gun pauses the video game at your question, then turns to you with a brow arched, "Why do you think I'm going to die?"

"It's hypothetical. Like in a fight or something."

An arrogant smile spreads, "And who's strong enough to kill me?"

You click your tongue in annoyance at his response although you hate to admit that damn, you find his attitude sexy as hell. There's just something about him being able to back up his confidence with his skills and talent.

"Just answer my question!"

"No I would not have any regrets," he says, already turning back and resuming his game.

Of course Gun doesn't. As if someone like him would have any regrets.

Eyes still on the screen and fingers clicking on the controller, Gun adds quietly. "But you will be taken care of."

Oh.

If Gun were to die tomorrow, he would regret not being able to take care of you. Being by your side. In his line of work, it is always a possibility no matter how strong he is. The least he could do, and has done, is make sure that at least no harm or hardships befalls you after he is gone.

Money, protection, freedom. If he can't have a future, then he will assure yours.

.

.

DG falters mid-stride, giving it the briefest of thoughts before coming to a conclusion.

"Nope," he says with a cocky smirk.

He has very little to regret. His life as DG is what most people dream of. Fame and fortune, power and influence.

As James Lee he has proven he's the strongest, he's the peak and untouchable.

There's very little left for him to accomplish. Why would he have any regrets?

But, he supposes, as he is later handled by the assistants and the stylists, then plasters on a fake smile for TV appearances before being ushered to some event full of schmoozers and fakers and having to make small talk as DG, the idol and CEO-

Is that maybe if he could do it again, he would choose something with more privacy. More freedom. That he could do what he wants, whenever he wants.

And most importantly-

That he can walk hand in hand with you down the street without rabid fans screaming and the paparazzi photos making headlines.

Without you being on the receiving end of death threats and unhinged letters, and his agent and company telling him that he needs to apologize for his relationship. Backtrack it. Single idols sells better, appeals to the public more.

If DG died tomorrow, he thinks that actually he would regret this. He regrets keeping you in the shadows.

.

.

Ryuhei doesn't hesitate and tells you he wishes you were his first. For everything.

Even hand holding. Even hugs.

You pull a face at that.

"That's... Sweet." You say, lying through your teeth as Ryuhei looks at you with concerned puppy eyes.

"You wish the same, right?"

"Sure," you agree because where's the harm in appeasing this goofball.

In truth, and Ryuhei hates thinking about it, is that he does desperately wish that he met you first. Before Mitsuki, before anyone else.

Nevermind that it's a completely futile, fanciful dream because everything that has happened has led him to you.

But he thinks it would have worked out better. He could have been a better person, a better boyfriend. If he met you before he had a chance to develop his sex pest tendencies and obsessive behaviour that you had to stamp out.

It's pointless though. Not even worth dwelling on. What has happened has happened and he could only try to be better now.

Ryuhei considers the question again with a sigh. If he dies tomorrow, what would he regret?

Oh yeah! He would absolutely regret this!

"I'd regret that we can't bang anymore!"

"Ryuhei!"

.

.

Samuel immediately feels defensive at your question.

He thinks about what he hasn't yet achieved. All his dreams of becoming King, being at the top, and yet he's no closer.

"Why?" he asks, eyes starting to narrow behind his glasses.

You hold up both palms, in a gesture to indicate you didn't mean anything by it and your face tells him to just chill.

"I dunno. I found it and thought it was an interesting question."

"It's not." Samuel says, effectively ending the conversation and eyes dipping back down to his phone.

But it doesn't just end.

Samuel spirals and doesn't talk to you for the rest of the day, his shortcomings haunting him instead.

He drinks and he smokes and he spends even more time at work, trying to dull the ache of his inferiority.

The mornings and nights pass by in a blur, a string of toxic behaviours and self sabotage, until eventually - he comes to.

His failures and faults pushed to the back of his mind, rather than a constant reminder.

Then like a fog clearing, he finds clarity again. He sees your face, the worry, the trepidation... The guilt for asking an innocent question.

And Samuel knows that his biggest regret of all if he dies tomorrow is that you deserved better and he hasn't been able to give that to you.

[lain-is-here]

S K I N N I E R

-I'd rather die skinny than live fat -You are not hungry you're just bored -You get to eat when you deserve to.

from downsizingto46:

-1. nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

RESIST or REGRET

three months from now you will thank yourself

lose the weight, not your goal

Don’t say that you want food but can’t have it. Say that you can have food but don’t want too

I cannot control everything but I can control my eating

food is not a reward

overeating will not solve anything

the thinner is the winner

you only fail if you stop trying

--

-In 10 mounths you will have forgotten what fast food tastes like but you wil feel what skinny feels.

-everytime you eat there is a 100% chance you will regret it .

-IF you eat what you've always eaten, your weight that you've always weighed

-I love getting thinner

-hungry to bed, skinny to rise

-just because the food is there , doesnt mean you have to eat it. -''I stopped eating for 3 days so I could be lovely''

-you're strong, dont let them break you

-It all depends on you

-Dont do anything that you'll regret tomorow

-A second on the lips forever on the hips

-self control at the grocery store, healthy foods are good for you

[alexjcrowley]

The thing about brocedes still living in the same building makes me wanna munch my walls because on one hand I am convinced they're basically playing gay chicken except the first one to move out of that condo is not gay but implicitly admits to be psychologically weaker so now the fight is not about who wins the championship but who can recover more swiftly from 2016 and pretend he's unbothered by losing one of the most meaningful relationships of his life, it's psychosexual and unbelievable and uselessly painful and nobody really wins so they're both fucking ridiculous, they really said after the most heartbreaking friendship breakup ever documented on live tv let's be a little silly let's prolong our rivalry to levels only reached by american sitcoms

On the other hand

On other hand it makes perfect sense. They're not gonna move out because moving out would mean letting the fight die which would mean getting out of eachothers lives forever. Because when the fight ends we can't go back to being friends so I'd be forced to simply leave you behind and I can't do that. Let's keep up the fight, let me keep us for a little more, out of spite if not out of love. Yes I hate you and I can't even say your name and I won't call you on your birthday but please let me pretend it's out of my hands if I see you in the hallway one morning and then I hide behind a door. Until we live in the same building I have an excuse to see you without admitting I want to. Without testing my pride to see if I had the courage to come to you when we had no chance to meet on the stairs anymore, because I don't think I would allow myself that and I know I would suffer tremendously for it. We can't be a part of eachothers lives anymore because I've hurt you too much and you've done the same, we can't go back, but please don't let me move forward. You won't speak to me anymore but let me at least see your face once in a while. Not on posters or tv or internet, your face, without filters and the perfect lighting, with eyebags and imperfect hair and anything other than the press-trained smile because that is- was my friend, the man on tv- I don't know who that is. And it's my home, my home, understood, you can't force me out of it like you forced me out of your life so you move first if you want to move but I don't want to. It's my home and you were my friend and I'll be damned if I let you take anything else away from me again. I can't bear you in my life and I can't bear you out of it. Let's keep things muddy and confused and ridiculous, let's not ever put an end to this. Remind me everyday why I hate you rather than go away and force me to think maybe I still care about you more than I have ever hated you. Do not let this heal, because who knows if one of us will ever have the courage to go back to this car crash to see if there's still something that can be saved. I will stay here, forcing you to look around before you leave your apartment and check the flight of the stairs to see if I'm coming up when you need to go down, like a monster always hidden in a dark corner, like a ghost I will haunt you. I will force my presence into your life, if not in your home, at your table, in your living room, then in the corner of your eye, in a set of steps you could never not recognise, in a shadow approaching the hallway. The hurt will persevere and so will the love, in this new wretched form. We swore we would always be at eachothers side, we never said how. No, I won't move out and I won't move on. Allow me to force you to do the same.

[darlingdekarios]

so this is goodbye.

rating: mature for canon themes length: 1,752 content: Arthur Morgan x f!reader, established relationship, hurt no comfort, set in the hours leading up to Arthur's death, mentions of blood (tuberculosis related), canon compliant

Arthur Morgan's most important goodbye - the one he gives to you.

"Let's just go together."

It was an impossible plea - one you knew the answer to long before he turned to face you, blue eyes transparent with the cold truths of the situation. For as many roads as you'd taken together, it seemed the path had thinned - going forward, there was only room for one.

"You and I both know it's too late for that now," his voice was thin, the result of his lungs failing in every aspect - you couldn't stand the sound of him like this anymore. "Even if we ran, I'm on borrowed time. I'd just die on you tomorrow, we both know it."

It was true, there was no denying it - only a fool would try.

"I'd rather you die with me in peace than at the hands of men who never deserved to be in your company," your words fell into the air like shattered glass, broken beyond repair.

"I will die in peace knowing you're safe," he promised, reaching forward to grasp both of your hands in his. It occurred to you this was the last time you'd feel his hands against yours. "But I can't do that if you don't go now, while you have the chance still."

His thumbs ran across your knuckles, memorizing the feeling of them one last time - the same thoughts in your mind echoed in his. You tried to steady yourself, deep breaths in and out to pretend you were okay - the façade dissipated when a quiet sob left your lips, though he'd been waiting for it all along. Just like his death, your brokenness over it was inevitable.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye," you choked out, words squeezed through a throat that felt smaller by the minute, much like the world closing in on you. "I should…I should be with you until the end. I should be by your side."

"They won't allow that. You've been by my side all this time, don't you ever forget that counted for something. Everything we did together counted for something."

Some part of him was glad for all the trouble that was about to be caused so you had to go your separate ways. In truth, since the doctor had informed him of his fate Arthur was certain of one thing above most others - he didn't want you to be around when he succumbed to this cough, despite the fact that seeing your face as his eyes closed one last time would be a dream for any man. He didn't want you to watch him suffer, because he didn't want you to live with that suffering forever.

So now in his final hours, finally in a semblance of control of his own actions, his mind and heart were radiantly in love with you - so much of his remaining energy focused on your ensured survival through another day. He could only be thankful for the time he'd received with you, for every day you'd spent telling him you loved him - particularly knowing he never deserved something as divine as your love.

Any amount of time with you was more than a man like him had earned in life to begin with.

But as for you and your heart?

"It hasn't been enough time. We didn't get enough time, Arthur."

Tugging you forward gently his arms wrapped around you in a hug, the only comfort you'd ever found in this life wrapping you in warmth once more. He was filthy, but that wouldn't stop you from taking as much of him as you were allowed now - your face buried into his chest, arms tight around his torso, clinging to him as though it gave you life.

He pulled away to shed his jacket from his frame, reaching around you to wrap it on your shoulders. He'd always preferred it on you, anyway.

"But the time we did get made me a happy man," he reminded, his voice earnest and truthful, words offering no amount of doubt. "You made me want to be a better man."

His hands came to your shoulders to squeeze gently, holding you against him still.

"I need you to promise me you're not gonna turn that horse around and go back up there after me," his voice was serious, steady - it left no room for disagreement and yet you couldn't help the desire to do just that. "You've got to promise me. You are not to follow me. That's no place for you anymore."

"Arthur, I…"

"Now, I don't want to hear it," he grabbed both of your hands again, squeezing them in his - even now you could feel his strength waning. You were hanging on his every word, memorizing how each syllable fell from his lips - already dreading the day you couldn't remember his voice anymore. "Please listen to me. Those men up there…they're nothin' more than animals now. They will kill you to hurt me, and you're all I have left that they can use. Already lost John…don't make me lose you, too."

There was so much…too much to say in this moment, this goodbye you'd known was coming and yet had sprung so suddenly. It was impossible to pick which words to give him, which words would hold the most meaning - which would make him feel the most fulfilled. They were in your mind like debris picked up by a tornado, far too much chaos to make sense of.

"I can't do it without you. I'm not ready to live without you."

"You're goin' to have to, sweetheart," his hands left your shoulders to hold your face instead, thumbs running over your cheeks as he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead. His next words were whispered against your skin - his private form of begging between the two of you, one last time. "You go on and you live your life, and you don't ever try to find Dutch or Micah or any of 'em, outside of Abigail or Charles or Mrs. Adler. Forget the rest of 'em. Please."

He leaned away to meet your eyes again - you gave yourself a moment to hold your response purely to enjoy the splashes of color in his blue eyes, knowing no other would compare to these hues again. You nodded, knowing this is what he needed, knowing it was the only remaining peace you could offer him.

"I won't go lookin', but if I see Micah or Dutch again I will put a bullet between their eyes, Arthur," you promised, eyes dark as you spoke the names of the men who he would soon face. "I swear I will, even if it's the last thing I do."

"I know you -"

He was overtaken by a cough, the worst one yet - he leaned against a tree to support himself but you were also there - just as you had been all these past weeks. You rubbed his back as he coughed, reaching upward to smooth his hair away from his slick forehead as it fell about. He tried to motion you away when blood spurted from his lungs, spraying the grass beneath you. You held strong, instead pulling a cloth from your satchel to wipe his mouth.

He loved you with a passion you were certain no one else could come close to matching. You could see it manifested in his eyes.

"You are the best man I have ever known, Arthur Morgan," your words were quiet, movements delicate as you wiped the sweat from his brow as well, pushing his hair back again. One of his arms wrapped around your waist again, a wheezy breath sucked into his lungs as he watched you talk. "You deserved far better than what the world gave you."

"I got more than I deserved."

When I got you.

His eyes gave life to the words he couldn't bring himself to say aloud.

You stepped closer despite the fact he tried to push you away again briefly, ignoring his plea as you wrapped your arms around his torso again, pinning him between yourself and the tree, wondering how long you could get away with holding him there. Almost as if he sensed your thoughts he kissed your forehead weakly, a heavy, raspy sigh huffing from his lungs. You turned your head to kiss his cheek gently.

You both nuzzled your heads together for a moment, enjoying the closeness and serenity of one another for as long as the cruel circumstances would allow. When he pulled away it was to lift you back onto your horse - one he'd gifted you years ago now - strong hands rubbing your thighs one more time.

"You go on 'n' get out of here," his voice was firm, resolute - you had one option as to what to do next. "And don't you dare look back."

He withdrew from you, turning his back to hide the way his Adam's apple bobbed as the threat of tears welled in his chest, something he'd sworn from the beginning he'd never do in front of you. As he climbed on his horse the leather reins shook in his trembling hands, leaving you for the last time becoming the hardest thing he'd been asked yet.

He heard the hooves of your horse as you attempted to retreat, and was painfully aware when they stopped - an immediate fear taking over him that you wouldn't be able to go through with this.

"Arthur," you called out, the sobs chasing the end of your words a hammer to his heart each time. "I loved you. I do love you…I will love you always. Every day."

He turned his horse to you, glistening eyes mirrored by your own as he rode up along side you. He removed one of his gloves to reach out and hold your cheek in his hand, thumb wiping a tear from beneath your eye gently.

You would never let yourself cry again.

"So many things I should've done different," for everything that was happening, Arthur sounded at peace with what he had chosen, content with all that he was leaving in the world as long as it included you. "I don't know what happens when we die, but I know if this…all this shit in life…ain't it for us…I'll be waitin' for you."

He released your face to reach for your hand, raising it to his lips in one final kiss. With that, you watched Arthur Morgan set off on his final ride.

masterlist. red dead redemption masterlist.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

13 & 15 with David Please. ❤️ 💙

13. "It's only forever, love. Not long at all."

15. "You're my sun."

Thanks for requesting! I hope you'll like this!

-----------------------------------------

Outside, a heavy storm was raging over the small coastal town. Inside, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to keep the candles burning. Every time I lit a knew one, the other would be blown out by a new gust of wind. I sighed, dropping the matches onto the fountain edge. Today had been a bad day. They just happen sometimes. You wake up, and you just feel off. Or sad. And you can ignore it for a while, but in the end, sometimes that sadness wins and all you really need is just a big hug and some nice warmth.

I blamed it on the stress from the last couple of days. David had told me that his sire, Max, had found out about my existence and that he demanded that I'd change. Then there was the time limit Max had set. I had to be a half vampire before the end of the week, or else he'd kill me. I had to admit that it frightened me. Of course, I knew David would protect me if he could, but he couldn't go against his sire. And even though I considered myself in the future to be one of the undead, I always thought it would happen in the far future. When I'd gotten a bit older, wiser, a bit more me.

Apparently, today, the lack of working candles had been the final straw. I'd dropped the matches and closed my eyes with a heavy sigh. Warmth flooded me when I felt two strong arms wrap themselves around me.

"I got you, kitten."

I leaned against him, smiling softly as I breathed in his smell. I didn't know if it was his mere presence or him using some of his hypnosis to calm me down, but I slowly felt my stress lessen.

"You're back early."

"I figured you didn't want to be alone." He looked at me, sighing softly. "I know this isn't what you wanted."

I nodded. He looked at me with a serious expression.

"If you don't do this, he is going to force me to kill you."

"What?" I looked at him, disbelieve written all over my face. "He- that absolute fucking-"

David chuckled, using one of the matches I'd dumped on the fountain edge to lit his cigarette.

"I'd rather die than do that to you."

I froze, warmth flooding my cheeks. I swallowed, looking at him with a small smile. "You really mean that, don't you?"

He sat there, next to me, looking uncharacteristically soft. Then, as if he had trouble admitting it, he looked at me like I was his whole world. At that moment I realised that maybe I was. It felt nice, realising by a mere expression that he possibly loved me as much as I loved him.

"You're my sun." He said softly. I took his hand in mine, squeezing it softly.

"I want you to change me. I don't want to leave you, and I don't want you to be forced to do what he forces you to."

"Kitten, you-"

"It needs to happen, and I mean - it does scare me, terrifies me, actually. But I can't let you get hurt because I'm scared."

My voice was a little shaky when I ended my sentence, and if it wasn't for the tender kiss I'd received afterwards, I'm pretty sure I would have broken down crying. But he was here, and he cared. He cared so much that he was even idiotic enough to be willing to die for me. That fool, as if I could live without him.

"You won't be alone, when you turn. I'll be with you."

"Every step of the way, right?" I asked, remembering how he had promised me that shortly after we'd discussed me changing for the first time.

"Yes."

"I love you, David."

"I know."

I laughed, stealing his cigarette from him. "I think it would be nice, spending immortality together."

"Yeah? Why?" He asked, in a way that made clear to me that he agreed.

"Well," I smiled at him, "it's only forever, love."

"Not long at all," he said softly, taking his cigarette back. "We'll just have to make the most of it."

"As if that's hard," I teased, sighing contendly as I leaned against him.

[thescarletnargacuga]

Is it possible for us to get an alternate ending to your Goodbye fic (the one where Pomni breaks Caine’s heart in two)?? Like maybe one where she decides to stay with Caine but then Caine hears about on the news of a missing woman and feels like he robbed Pomni of her humanity and tries to send her back but Pomni gets upset thinking he doesn’t want her anymore and in the end the game gets shut down because of Pomni being sucked into the game the two reconcile and get shut down within the game together??

A/N:ooh....what a rollercoaster

DON'T SAY GOODBYE

A TRAGIC SHOWTIME ONESHOT

The original

WARNING: HEAVY angst, hurt/some comfort, main character death, estranged family drama, VERY real (you'll see what I mean)

~~~

Caine held Pomni's hands, looking into her eyes intensely. "I figured out how to permanently transfer and integrate human consciousness into the code."

Pomni's jaw fell open. "You-...you've what?"

"I've figured out how to make your life here permanent. I know it's a lot, and I understand if you need time to think about it or even outright refuse, but... I want you to stay with me forever." Caine's code spiraled with anxiety. Now that he said it out loud to her, it sounds insane.

She had to know. "What would happen to my real body?"

"You wouldn't need it anymore, and while I don't fully understand how anatomy works... I can only imagine that without your consciousness, your body would...uh-"

"Die." Pomni said in a flat, sobering tone. She looked down, weighing her options.

Caine cringed. "Yeah...like I said, I understand if-"

"Yes." She squeezed Caine's hands.

He gasps. "Are you sure? Maybe you should take some time to think about it or- or sleep on it or-"

Pomni looked him in the eye, a determined look on her face. "I don't need to think about it. Life's made the decision for me. Caine... There's a lot I haven't told you about my life outside the game, because I'd rather not think about it, but... You're really all I have."

"Pomni..." He gently cupped her cheek. "If this will make you happy, I will do it. I love you."

Pomni felt like she was realizing his feelings for her for the first time. He cared. He truly actually cared about her, unlike everyone else in her life. This was her chance to start again, in a new world, a better world. She leaned into his touch. "I want to stay with you. Forever. Do it."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes. I love you, Caine. You've come to matter more to me than anything or anyone else on the other side. I...I have no one else in my life that cares. I'll stay." Pomni put her hand on his against her cheek.

She had him at "I love you." He kissed her sweetly, reassuring her that he would be by her side for the rest of their digital lives. "This won't hurt at all." He snapped his fingers and they both teleported to the game's mainframe.

Code swirled around them. Rows upon rows of coded game commands flowed like water. He placed a hand on her chest, over her heart, and pulled. A string of code came from her and he summoned code from the cascade around them. He connected the pieces, weaving them together like yarn.

Pomni felt very strange, like her very soul was made of static. Then something popped in the back of her mind. She felt like she was free floating through space, and Caine was there to catch her. More code connected to her heart as he held her close.

"Breathe..." He whispered.

She took a deep breath of what felt like real air for the first time in this digital space. She felt corporeal and incorporeal at the same time. She only saw letters and numbers as her consciousness solidified within the matrix. "Caine..?"

"I'm here. You're safe."

The code disconnected from Pomni's body and her vision cleared. She still felt disoriented and weightless. She clung to Caine, he never felt so real. Not cartoonish and digital, real. The fabric of his clothes scrunched in her grip. His hold on her felt as human as one could ever experience. "Is it over?"

"Yes, my dear. You're like me now. Welcome home." He spoke in a soothing tone.

She smiled, tears coming to her eyes, and kissed him.

~

For a time, it was paradise.

Pomni really was like Caine now, holding a certain level of command over the game. She could fly and teleport like him. Even help players if she wanted, being seen as a mystery high level player.

Her transplant is kept a secret. She even changes her public name to further separate herself from her old life, but Caine still calls her Pomni. A privilege he jealously guards.

~

The least interesting part of Caine's job as the Circus's ringmaster was his regular meetings with the human management team at C&A. He flits on a screen in a corporate boardroom. A half dozen people in suits waiting for him. "Hello, everyone! What riveting subject is in the corporate spotlight today?" He says in a rather passive aggressive tone. His arms cross, already bored.

"Hello, Caine. Thank you, for joining us. We have a rather serious matter to discuss." Said a man at the end of the table.

"Oh?" Caine sat up a bit straighter.

"We've been under fire from a controversy involving a young woman passing away while playing the Amazing Digital Circus. Her family has filed a lawsuit against us."

"What?" Caine's mind raced. "On what grounds? It could have been a tragic coincidence."

"Reckless endangerment. Saying our game is addicting and it resulted in the woman's unfortunate demise. While this is the first death, we have dealt with similar situations before where people have played the game to the point of hospitalization." The corporate man sifted through some papers.

"Some people wear the headset for days on end, neglecting their physical well-being. While I agree that there is a level of responsibility on the players, there is mounting support for this case against us. Aside from suing us for the loss of life, we are also being sued for emotional damages and they are pressuring the judge to rule in favor of shutting the game down entirely." The corporate man laced his fingers together, his leg bouncing anxiously under the table.

"WHAT?? They can't do that!!" Caine balled his fists.

"Unfortunately....they can, and they might succeed. Caine, you don't have to worry, we can transfer you out of the game and start again with something new. You won't be deleted." A different man in a suit tried to reassure.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! TH- THIS GAME IS MY LIFE!! MY WHOLE WORLD!! YOU CAN'T JUST DESTROY IT!!" Caine banged against the inside of the screen, making an audible clink.

"Please, calm down." A suited woman said softly. "We all know how hard you've worked, and we appreciate all you do, but this is out of our hands. If our legal team can't settle or win...we won't have a choice. I'm sorry."

Caine started to panic. "How long... until we know?" He gasped, breathing heavily.

"Because of public outcry, our case is being rushed. It could be weeks...or days. We'll let you know." The man at the end of the table said.

~

"What have I done?" Caine cried to himself, alone in his shared abode with Pomni. "She's...she's...no..." He whimpered and curled in on himself.

Pomni popped in unannounced, floating in the middle of the room, holding an inventory full of loot. "WOO! What a raid! You should have seen it, Caine! Nearly fifty people showed up and- ...Caine?" She lowered herself to the ground. "Hey, what's going on?"

Anxiety gripped Caine like a vice. He couldn't move. "The meeting....it was about you."

Pomni dropped everything. "Someone found my body?" She knew this would happen eventually. Even living alone in her apartment with no friends or family to check up on her, not showing up to work long enough would raise suspicion. Never mind her nosy landlord popping in to ask about rent.

"More than that. C&A is being sued. It's not looking good..." Caine could barely speak. Guilt and shame hammering his mind.

"Who's sueing??"

"Your family..?"

"I don't have any family. Unless...THAT [%$!#]!!" Pomni hissed.

Caine just stared back in confusion.

Pomni took a deep breath and sat next to Caine. "So you remember...when I told you about how I had nobody on the other side?"

"Of course."

"I cut ties with my family years before I even started playing TADC. My mother is a complete narcissist. An evil woman who loves nothing more than control and manipulate those around her... especially me. I guarantee you, if she's the one that filed the lawsuit, she did not do it on my behalf. She's after money and attention."

"Pomni, it's gotten bigger than that. According to the suits, there's mounting pressure to shut down the game..."

"Shut it down? Over me? No...no, that's not fair! I'm so sorry, Caine." Pomni hugged him.

He couldn't hug her back. He didn't deserve her comfort. "I'm the one that's sorry. I never should have brought you into the game. If I hadn't been selfish-"

"Stop. I agreed. You are not blaming yourself for this."

"But, Pomni... You're part of the game. If it gets deleted... You go with it." Caine broke down into uncontrollable sobs. "I'm sorry, so....sorry..."

Pomni felt numb. She quietly held Caine as he cried for a long time. "...you're sure..."

"Yes." He sniffed. "They want to transfer me out, and-... I could try isolating your code but that could take so long and we only have weeks or shorter! I'm sorry! I-" Caine couldn't apologize enough. She was going to die and it was all his fault.

"You need to fight against this! We- uh, we tell them about me! We tell them I'm alive!"

Caine was disgusted by the very idea. "Pomni, what do you think would happen to the both of us if they found out I could transfer real human consciousness into a digital state? Not only would the game be shut down, but we would become digital lab rats! Especially you!"

Pomni hadn't thought of that. How would others react to knowing an AI could pull someone into a game forever? It could be seen as a threat. "So...that's it then."

"No. We're going to fight this tooth and nail. There's no evidence that your death was related to the game. It's all circumstantial. It's all anti video game propaganda based on other people's inability to separate their digital lives from their real ones. How is that our fault? No one is forced to stay here." Caine held his head in his hands.

Pomni leaned on him. "Humans are strange creatures, Caine. Escapism...sometimes it's the only coping mechanism people have when they live in a world where every aspect of their lives is controlled by someone else. Employers...landlords...politicians... It gets to be too much and, speaking from experience, it can lead to you abandoning that life altogether. One way or another."

"Then why would they want it shut down?"

"Let's just say there are people out there that think any forms of escapism are evil incarnate and they can't be convinced otherwise. It's complicated."

"Human complexity has never ceased to confuse me." Caine groaned.

"Me neither. And I used to be one." She huffed, amused. "And... I think we need to face the fact that this was never going to last forever. Even the biggest games eventually die out. Companies crash and burn. Assets are bought and sold. This day would have come eventually... I just wish it had taken longer to get here."

"I'm sorry... I will do everything in my power to stop this or get you out." Caine finally held her back.

"I know...." Pomni's heart dropped to her stomach. She wasn't holding much hope and the reality hit her hard that she was very likely facing death. She held Caine a bit tighter.

~

Caine popped on the meeting screen the moment he got a notification. This one was off the usual schedule and he knew it had to be about the court case. "What's the verdict??" He looked directly at the man at the end of the table.

The man was stoic. No readable expression. "We couldn't settle. The case has moved to higher court. There are people protesting outside as we speak... Caine, I think it's time we pulled you out."

"NO!!" Caine glared at the stoic man. "I will not leave this game! If you want to delete it, you'll have to delete me too!"

The people around the table looked at each other and muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous." The man at the end of the table said. "You're too valuable to delete."

Caine seethed. "How gracious of you to say, but I am not abandoning this game. It means too much to me and... I refuse to imagine life without it. End of discussion." Caine blipped off screen.

~

Caine worked madly to isolate Pomni's code from the game. It was like trying to sift out specific particles of sand from a beach. Her uploaded consciousness added more than 2.5 million GB of information to the game, and if he missed any of it, who knows what would happen to her mind or memories in a transfer.

"They're going to force me out. I just know it. I need to take Pomni with me...I need more time."

He tried.

He tried so hard.

Every time he was on the meeting screen, he was practically belligerent with the suits to fight the case harder. Delay it. ANYTHING!

"We're sorry. The verdict is final. The game will be shut down at midnight at the end of the month. It's time, Caine."

"Look, I realize you're going to remove me no matter what I say, but at least do me the courtesy of letting me stay with my game until the end." Caine had no emotion in his voice.

"Very well." The suits agreed.

~

Pomni wasn't going to spend her final days wallowing in self-pity. It was like being on a second honeymoon. They forgot the countdown, focusing on each other. They never left each other's side for even a moment. There were long talks and cries and even laughter. There was a lifetime of love expressed in their limited time left.

Players from all around the world gathered at the Circus for a final farewell to their favorite game. Caine made an appearance to express his gratitude to them and gave a final bow. His time left would be with Pomni.

11:45 pm

"I'm so-"

"If you say sorry one more time, the last thing you'll experience from me will be a bonk on your head." Pomni laughed through the tears.

Caine gave a sad smile. "I just wish I could've done more..."

"You've always been more than enough, Caine. I fell in love with you, not what you could do. What we had, it was enough. I'll go peacefully. I have no regrets."

11:50 pm

"I love you, Pomni. I always will, no matter what happens. I'll never forget you for as long as I exist." Caine felt his heart break, he held to Pomni as close and as tight as he could. Not ready for what was coming.

"I love you too, Caine. I just wish I'd had the chance to show you all the love I felt for you." Pomni's lip quivered.

"I'll carry you in my heart forever. Every moment. Every touch. Every memory. Those will never be taken from me....but they will never be the same."

11:59 pm

Pomni looked into his eyes for the last time. "Goodb-"

Caine shushes her. "Don't say it..."

10...

9...

Caine could feel his code being pulled away. He clutched to Pomni and kissed her. They locked together in a strong embrace. The world around them shifted and pixelated. The other players already booted.

6...

5...

Pomni felt weak. Sleepy. She held tight to Caine as his bottom half turned to code and was being pulled away. "Caine..."

Caine was losing his grip on a fading Pomni. Her fingers locked with his as she was taken from his arms.

2...

1...

The fingertips were the final touch. Pomni kept her eyes on Caine as she faded into the deleting code. Caine was harshly yanked away, Pomni vanishing his final sight.

"POMNI!!!"

00:00

~

It was done. The courts were satisfied. The case settled. The game was no more. The servers were shut down. Headsets were recalled.

A full reset of the AI was ordered.

Perhaps then, the AI would be more cooperative with new projects.

The suits didn't want a repeat of the AI becoming too attached.

Caine would be like the game never happened.

The tool it was always meant to be.

Ignorant and compliant.

Controllable.

[punkrockmixtapes]

Brendan Kelly and the Wandering Birds - Dance of the Doomed

[missheavenfield1215]

Have you noticed that Beetlejuice and The Corpse Bride have the same climax??

A dead person

Who wants to marry a living person

Although it was against the will of that living person

When I realized this... I couldn't stop drawing

Beetlejuice ~Corpse Bride AU~

*In this AU, everyone is an adult*

*All my drawings are below in this post*

In this AU, Lydia takes the role of Victor, Beetlejuice is Emily, Elder Gudnekt could be Otto, Adam and Barbara would be the Everglot couple (of course, here, they have no bad intentions).

Lydia and her father, Charles, come from the great city of London, to expand their funeral services franchise, in addition to having gone through another marriage.

Charles had Lydia's mother, Emily, who passed away when she was 8 years old. At work, Charles met Delia, who was suffering from a fatal illness, but never told Charles that she was sick. So 4 years after their wedding, Delia also passed away.

To forget his grief, Charles became obsessed with his work and abandoned Lydia in their grief (as she also got along well with her). Lydia doesn't want to get married and hates the idea of being trapped forever in a useless marriage, which will only take away her freedom. Although she thinks that marriage is just a contract, deep inside her, she really feels that if she falls in love, it will only bring her pain and sorrow, just like her father.

Beetlejuice, here called Lawrence Shaggoth, is the only son of the honorable aristocratic marriage Shaggoth. In his youth Lawrence had a preference for men, but despite that, Adam was one of his friends. But when the time came for Lawrence to marry a young woman that his own mother raised so that Lawrence would "become normal." Juno is a homophobic bitch, so after receiving the news that her son was eloping with his lover, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Juno bribed Lawrence's lover, who really only wanted the young man's money. Juno told the boy that she would pay him whatever he wanted, if he took Lawrence, destroyed him emotionally and murdered him. The boy did so, but the young woman Juno had "adopted", Angeline (Miss Argentina) had witnessed the whole sinister plan.

Juno learned that once Lawrence married, she would inherit everything as stipulated in his father's will. So, to continue with the lie, Juno took a young prostitute to "convince" Lawrence to escape and leave everything behind and thus demarcate him from the surname Shaggoth, since in her eyes, Lawrence was unworthy of such a title. But it turned out that she found out about her affair with a boy, and apparently he was cheating on him.

Lawrence, about to die and feeling betrayed and very scared, recites a poem to calm himself, but he does not know that this poem would be his condemnation and his salvation. Once the conditions stipulated in the poem were met, it would come back to life.

That's why Lawrence needs Lydia to marry him, because then he will come back to life, but he doesn't really have the idea of really falling in love with that "someone" to help him.

Here Adam and Barbara are also aristocrats, but their family name is in decline and they are on the verge of poverty. They decide to adopt Adam's youngest nephew, named Vincent, to prepare him for a marriage with which they can cope with the imminent poverty that awaits their family. They believe it would be best if Vincent chooses his future wife, and he chooses Lydia to marry and she is forced to do so by her father.

Lydia runs away from the engagement after finishing the wedding rehearsal and, as if to mock her father, she says: "I'd rather marry a dead person than someone who doesn't know me!"

It is then that Lawrence appears and proposes to marry him and when he comes back to life, he will help her escape the country and her father.

But neither of them really expected to fall in love with each other when they got to know each other in depth.

But there is the problem of Juno, who no longer has money and it is then that she uses Lydia's disappearance to extort money from Charles and promise him that she will look for the young woman.

And after thinking about all that... That's when I started drawing

"I just want to be alive... And I... "

"I don't want to be alone"

"In this cruel world"

These are small test sketches

Here's a closer shot of a Beetlejuice killed by his lover...

This is Lawrence, moments before his death. When his lover asked him to elope with some of the wealth, Lawrence dressed in his white wedding suit, but it was dyed red when a shotgun bullet pierced his ribs. (yes in the same place where Lydia stabbed him in the musical, both wounds were caused by a stab wound in the back... A betrayal)

Well... I had many songs to play... But in essence that is the basis of everything.

This AU really works with any version of Beetlejuice, but mostly works best with the Headcanons of the musical.

[lauriegraham01]

you're still around | natasha romanoff

pairings: natasha romanoff x gn!reader (one instance where it can be interpreted as fem!reader)

summary: "i know better but i still feel you all around." you never envisioned a life spent with natasha, so what do you do now that the aftershocks of her death has uprooted your life?

wc: 2.5k

a/n: I cannot speak of my grief over natasha, so enjoy this instead! + this is me cleaning out my drafts so im sorry if quality is trash </3

You never loved the beach. You never loved the beach until you met her.

Having been assigned on a mission together in Los Angeles, you found yourself on the sand far more times than you cared for.

"Oh, you're being ridiculous it's not that bad."

"I'd rather die."

Even behind her tinted aviators, there was no denying that signature playful glint shinning in her eyes. She loved how you had a flair for the dramatics, always teasing how she's the only one who could ever put up with it.

"Look, it's only for a couple of hours until we make sure that Stavros meets his guys here."

"And not a second more."

Hours slipped away as you two soaked up the sun. You could live in this moment forever. The sound of waves crashing against the shore matched the ferocity of your heart beating in your chest. You were full of love, consumed by it. Yet how could you not.

The way her sun-kissed skin seemed to soak up the sun, how her hair danced in the gentle ocean breeze, and how peaceful she looked as she she slept in the sand.

You feared the inevitable- dreaded it even. Yet lying next to her, unable to look away, you knew it was too late.

Your bond only continued to grow, spending more time both on and off the clock. Using any excuse to be near each other in hopes of learning something new, even though that seemed impossible. Natasha was the first person you felt like you could be completely open and honest with. You were surprised yet relieved when she told you she felt the same way.

Things in those days were still fresh, you both were equally fully of worry and reservation. The fear of ruining an already incredible bond preventing either of you from pursuing something greater. There was a silent understanding of this- despite the circumstance, you and Natasha continued on as you knew best. Pushing each other to be greater, being each others cheerleader, and truly wanting the best for each other after seeing the potential you both possessed.

Each moment shared together played on repeat in your mind until you could see her again. Late nights spent sparring in the gym, pool games at dive bars, and endless romcom movie marathons that only were only respected by Wanda.

The endless messages exchanged during meeting whenever Steve would go on forever. The getaways spent upstate thanks to Natasha swiping the keys to one of Tony's many many cars. The late night spent revealing sins to each others, and the darkest memories and fears that haunted us. The comfort that lasted till morning when you awoke to another sunrise wrapped in each other's arms. Each moment spent with her was truly magical.

You felt yourself falling deeper in love with Natasha with each passing day. You had reached a point where you couldn't remember life without her by your side, and the thought of having to go back to that terrified you both.

"I don't want this to be what splits us." Running your hands over your face, a tired sigh escaped your lips. The stress of the Sokovia Accords had everyone on edge and you and Natasha were no exception.

"I don't see why it has to," Natasha exaggerated. Her patience growing thinner after the countless back and forth and still not seeing eye to eye.

"You know why," you objected sharply. "it's not right, Nat. You know that." Your eyes met her with an unwavering look of defiance. There was no swaying you to change your mind. She always knew you were so stubborn.

"I know," she admitted.

"Then why are you signing?!" Throwing your hands in frustration you don't immediately notice the boom in your voice as you spoke.

It wasn't until Natasha swallowed thickly before averting her gaze towards the ground that you realized your mistake. Your shoulders slump as you let out a tired sigh. You felt that you were at a crossroads, and there was no right answer in which way you moved.

"I want us to stay together, it doesn't matter how," she emphasized, the edge in her voice unmistaken as she enunciated each word. Green eyes looked up at me through silky lashes, behind a determined look I saw the sadness in the mist of green eyes.

In that moment you felt all your fears cement into reality. You knew there was no way both of you could win and your heart broke as you both pledged your allegiance to opposing sides of another mans war.

Looking up at her you saw the same exact heartbreak in her eyes. You reached your breaking point, as the room seemed to close in you bolted out of your seat and aimed for the door. As your hand squeezed the handle, you hesitated- for a brief second. You didn't want to walk out on her, it was the last thing you ever though of doing.

Sparing her a final look, you see the stoic expression on her face. You always knew she was stubborn, but the hardened expression on her face only further proved what you already knew. There was no changing her mind, just as much as there wasn't changing any yours.

"It does to me."

You fought on opposing sides of a pointless war. When the dust settled, there was no morning glory to be found in its aftermath. Just bitter resentment and heartache as the family you've fought beside for years was no more.

Now considered an enemy of the state, you fled the country, not knowing if you would ever come back. By the time Steve had told you how Natasha helped him and Bucky flee, it was already too late. You were thousands of miles away and burned too many bridges that could never be crossed over again.

You thought about writing, but what could you say? Too much was said and done last, you didn't think there was ever coming back from that. You spent the next two years trying to erase the memory of her. Proving quite difficult as you saw her in everything, her love still being the fire that kept you warm even miles away.

You dreamt of a time where you would come face to face with her again. You've rehearsed the apologies you would say and the confessions you would lay bare if you ever were to see her face again. Yet all that flew out of the window as she stood in front of you, finding you amidst the crowded market square.

"Natasha?" Despite her hair now blonde and much shorter, you still could recognize her face in any crowd.

"Just shut up." She said, catching you off guard.

Taken aback, you sighed deeply as you gave her your full attention. Taking in her full appearance, you note her lose tank and green skirt that flowed with the summers breeze. You don't think you've ever seen her in something that colorful. Despite all the changes, she's still Natasha. You still saw the girl you fell in love with all those years ago on that beach.

The crease between her eyebrow reveals how Natasha seemed deep in thought. Hesitant to speak what's on her mind as she darted between your eyes, weighing her options.

"I never wanted to rely on anyone for anything," she began. "I thought that if I could be independent and alone then I could avoid the pain that comes from losing people."

Fidgeting with her fingers and from the bite marks on her lip, you sensed the urgency behind her words.

"I don't wanna live like that anymore," she confessed urgently. As if she could no longer bear having such a brilliant truth hidden for a second longer. "I love you y/n. I think I have for a long time now but I was just too scared to admit it- and I know things are complicated but i'm ready for this. I want this. I want us-" Stopping suddenly, feeling breathless the longer she looked in your eyes. "You. I want you."

"I love you."

Time seemed to slow down in that moment. The sound of thousands of people packed in the Brazilian market faded to nothing as you looked at her, her words echoing in your head. If Nat had felt even an ounce of relief from getting the truth of her chest, her face didn't show it. She had this look on her face, you studied for it moment before you realized what it was- fear.

She thought you would walk away. That you would scoff at her confession, see through her for what she thought she was, flawed.

She couldn't have been farther from truth. Her eyebrows furrowed in mix of shock and confusion when she felt a finger tilting her chin upward. Swallowing thickly, she awaited cruel rejection. However, seeing the adoration behind your eyes, she let herself believe that maybe there was some room for redemption. The corner of her lip curled upwards before the both of broke into breathless laughs, the twinkle in her eyes making your heart soar as it sang Natasha's name.

"I love you too."

After that, you never knew a life without Natasha. Having fought in Wakanda and losing so much during The Blip, you two became each other's anchor.

Never wanting to be away from her again, you moved back to New York. You helped direct the remaining Avengers as missions were still executed and help was needed everywhere. Despite the darkness that the world was wrapped up in, you and Natasha were each other's lighthouse, guiding each other back to shore.

It wasn't until Scott came barging on the compounds door and the the rest of the team got together for the time heist that hope would shine for the first time in a long time.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come instead," you lowly ask as you and the rest of the team prepare for the time heist.

"I'm gonna pretend to not be offended by that." Clint chimed in as he made his way past us.

"Shut up Barty, please!" He throws his hands up in surrender as he's met by your annoyed gaze. You don't miss hearing Bruce chuckle as he typed away on the control panels.

Facing Natasha again, you're met with her amused smile as she looked up at you.

"I promise I'll be fine," she insisted. "Clint's got my back-right Barty?!"

Clint just grunts in acknowledgment.

"Trust me?" Raising her eyebrows as she lifted her open palm toward you.

Taking her hand and turning it over, you placed a chaste kiss onto it.

"Damn right I do," you say, never breaking eye contact.

Not missing the way her cheeks flushed at the sudden gesture you bring her in and capture her lips in a soft kiss. Earning a wolf-whistle from Tony in the process.

As you all stood in a circle on the platform, ready to go back in time in hopes of bringing everyone back, your eyes meet Natasha's again. Heart fluttering as it did everytime you looked at her.

"See you in a minute." Her eyes glimmering as she smiled at you.

Those words replayed in your head in a constant loop for months. You never got to say goodbye, and that's what killed you the most.

You never were good with grief, and having lost so many people because of Thanos, you spiraled into a depression that lasted the better half of a year.

Yet when you were ready to face that grief, it was Yelena who was there for you. She was one of the few people around who understood what it meant to lose Natasha. To have known and loved her so intimately, and have that taken away.

Staring out into the same sea at the same beach where you first fell for your blue-jeaned baby, as comforting hand on your shoulder shakes you from your thoughts. Startled by the sudden presence your eyes look up frantically to meet with Yelena's concerning gaze.

"Hey," her voice soft, "you okay?"

"Hey-um, yeah, i'm fine really." You shake your head furiously as you blink away your tears. Meeting her eyes again, the love and sincerity that poured behind Yelena's eyes was enough to make the damn burst.

"No," you croak as a sob wracks itself out of your body. Engulfing you in her arms, you burrow your head in Yelena's shoulder as grief's uncharted weight washes over you.

"I know what she meant to you. She told me about a month after taking down the Red Room. I never would've taken her for a U-hual lesbian."

A laugh escapes your lips. Looking back on it, things did happen rather quickly. After taking down Dreykov, she felt a new found purpose in life, a need to reconnect with family and loved ones.

"Yeah, well it was a long time coming," you let out softly. You pull out of her arms, wiping away at your dried tears.

"Thank you, Yelena. I know what she meant to you too."

You don't miss the sadness that flickers in Yelena's eyes.

"She meant to look for you earlier. She told me about you while staying at one of Tony's safe house", you sigh reflecting on the confessions said that night. The fire and a shared bottle of whiskey having kept you both warm that night. "She never stopped thinking about you."

"I know," she affirms, voice shaky. "Thank you."

You offer her a soft smile, eyes crinkling as you giver her arm a reassuring squeeze. Yelena then locks arms with you, a sudden peace washing over you like the waves ashore you were watching.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Looking over at her, you note the blonde wisps of hair that moved with the wind.

"Are any of us?" She doubled back with a smirk, earning a chuckle from you.

A brief silence falls over you two. One full of reluctant acceptance as it is with sadness.

"I promised I wouldn't say goodbye." You barely heard her. You almost thought you hadn't from how low she spoke.

Looking back towards the water, if you didn't know any better you'd think she was still around. If you thought about it long enough, you could still make out Natasha's footprints scattered across the sand. Or how graceful she looked dancing in the sand.

You could hear the sweetness of her laughter as not even the call of the seagulls could sing a finer melody.

You can still feel the warmth of her pirate smile, shinning bright as she looked at you from over her shoulder.

As the wind picked up you closed your eyes and let the memories of your sweet summers spent with Natasha flash before you. If you didn't know any better, you'd think she was talking to you now. Through the way the wind echoed her whispers of "I love you."

Opening your eyes, the warmth and love of those memories still sprout inside you, even as your met with the sight of the beach's barren winter. She's still here, always with me.

"Maybe you don't have to."

You know better, but you still feel her all around.

[dxxtruction]

Another post on Armand's decisions because I need to just write down my incoherant thoughts.

I think Armand didn't care what happened with Claudia and Madeleine in the slightest, they could've ran off together or burned and he wouldn't care. Honestly, it seemed he'd been trying to get Louis to feel the same way. He always saw them as a doomed inevitability, but this can not be said the same with Louis.

Fact is there's a conflation of motivations that doesn't make a lot of sense if Armand had no intention or desire to ever save Louis. Yet maybe the point is Armand couldn't even make complete sense of his own motivations himself. He didn’t want anyone to die I don’t think, his allegiances were everywhere to the point he only really had himself. He couldn't tell Louis no, he couldn't tell the coven no either. Pulled in two directions up to the very end. He needed the coven appeased, the coven he never wanted but wouldn’t wish death upon, what he wanted was Louis, while the coven wanted him and his little family dead. Then it comes to it that he could have Louis, but at a cost that they go through with a trial. The trial he directed. So then it's about how Louis could die after a brief happiness or he could find a way to save him - through being close to the whole thing maybe. He's still directing the trial when it comes time. And to that point he may not have known what to do to save him, so just play into it. But I think he'd have still desired being a savior, cause Louis is what he really chose. He maybe legitimately just didn't know if he could be.

And, I don't think he could.

Him being powerful enough to prevent it all is an assumption we've just taken to heart because he has proven capable of a lot. I think Armand's aware of his power - he kept the coven at bay for as long as he can with it - but I think he's also aware of its limits. If thirteen bloodthirsty vampires all came after him, a lot like what had happened with Marius who was also incredibly powerful and ancient, I think he's in his mind that he couldn't take that on. Especially if he'd never desired killing anyone. It stands to also reason these limits are such that he probably couldn't have controlled the entire audience the way Lestat did. Maybe memory is being wacky and he tried as we saw, but it was Lestat who really succeeded, one upping him. Or maybe he'd just given up the hope for it and so it came as a complete surprise.

You also have to think about how beholden the laws are to the coven. Armand's been at the point where he kind of doesn't care for them, or at least he's become lenient and curious about the alternative when it comes to Louis, but the coven is founded on their principles or it wouldn't hold together. So, it's either to dissolve if Louis and Claudia, and Madeleine were to all show the laws can be broken without consequence. Or be mutiny, which is what did happen, and so if he doesn't let those happen then no one lives not even him. This is something that Armand has in mind when going through with it, I'm sure. Still plotting some way to save Louis, but he isn't powerful enough to sway the inevitable, so he figures he has to go along to at least save himself. If anything happens he wants to end up alive.

This may be the reason he needs the coven to keep existing, even though he hates it, it offers him something that's more written in stone, something guaranteed to last so long as consequences are had. It does pain him to do this but the coven was holding the keys to his very life over his head (Which I'd argue makes this whole thing a lack of a choice) and he'd rather stick to his life being miserable than die along with them. Much as Armand really wants love he'd feel safer in this 'forever' thing. I think he's being truthful when he says this.

I think it's truthful as well he was degraded with Santiago's take over, he wasn't secretly leading anything by the time the play was happening. 'The choice' was something Armand felt building he just didn't know when or how it would happen. Santiago being the one to come up with the plan in secret which included trapping Armand to join them or not seems to fit. 'we can kill you now or you can make yourself useful, your choice.' That could've happened at any moment but I think the night Madeleine is turned is probably when they confronted him. Santiago wanted control from Armand so he gets him where it hurts most, forcing a betrayal he wouldn't be able to refuse. Of course he could've tried to fight back, and he did say he could've, but of course there's just this large part of him who would love to be debased from leadership. It's sort of an easy choice to go along and keep going along, when it does debase him, he does get his love as he always wanted him for even just a short while, and ultimately he will live. I don't think he fought very hard. I don't think he found it in himself to.

I think he rides so hard on the he could not prevent it train because he never actually acted to know whether or not he really could've, adamantly believing at the time he couldn't. Coming only to regret it later that he hadn't done enough. He saw how actually easy it was to take the whole coven out when Louis did it, and knew from then on he probably could've done something. He'd rather say anything until it's true instead of be honest with what he really knows.

It may be true as well though that when this play was first conceived, and through rehearsal, he may have been of the shared opinion Claudia and Madeleine would be better out of the picture. Not for laws but selfish reasons. Which would be just another layer of sway over his choice, maybe even another reason why he took the role in it that he did. It was personal to him, he felt Claudia was a lot to blame for things turning out like this. So if he couldn't say no to it, at least he'll exact his little revenge for how Claudia had to go and ruin everything. But again I don't think he actually cared so long as neither of them were being disruptive to his life. Awful thing is he probably thought up till it was too late that they would be. If he really could've prevented anything it was to not let his own spite rule him so much, maybe then he would've prevented a whole lot more.

Now clearly none of this is justified, there was a heavy amount of coercion but I think Armand is very much to be held responsible for what went on in Paris, and his own actions to take part in this as closely as he had were deplorable. His inaction culpable. He's responsible for all the lies and manipulation that took place as a part of this too. And thereafter.

Anyway stay away from cults.

[bemyvalentinechallenge]

The Be My Valentine Challenge 2024

An event from @timecanalwayshealyou

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The Be My Valentine Challenge is a challenge for writers, artists, and just any kind of creator, from the first of February to the 14th!

The idea is to create thirteen smaller, lead-up pieces based on the prompts; for example, ficlets/drabbles/one-shots, couplets, small artworks, individual gifs, et. cetera - and finish the challenge with a larger work; a fic, a full poem, a gifset, a big artwork, whatever sparks for you!

They can be a series or separate, and you're free to change mediums or fandoms for different days. If you'd rather create fourteen small works, or all large ones, or a combination of both, that's completely up to you! Prompts can be used after the event, combined, just do whatever! Only "properly" used prompts will be reblogged to this page, however.

The catch; it's all romance prompts, in the spirit of Valentine's Day and because everyone on this site is single and lonely.

Each day has a quote from an iconic or relevant romance film (The Notebook, Red, White and Royal Blue, The Fault In Our Stars, Pride And Prejudice, etc.), an iconic love song, and a romantic cliché, act, or item.

This account will be reblogging a few works (art, drabbles, ficposts, etc.) from the event tag (bemyvalentine2024) each day. Full tagging rules, the transcribed prompt list, and other event details are under the cut. If you're unsure about anything, send in an ask! Happy Creating!

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There will be an ao3 collection open from the first of February to the fourteenth for submission. Artworks, gifsets, etc. posted to tumblr should be tagged appropriately to be seen as part of the event.

The official spotify playlist for the event can be found here.

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Anyone who completes this event is considered a Valentine, and anyone who participates is a Lover. At the end of the event, a form will be put out, so if you wish to be tagged in a masterpost, keep an eye out! I won't be fact-checking, it's an honour system, so please be honest.

There will be completion and participation badges, too! They're in the works as we speak!

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Tagging System:

event tag - #bemyvalentine2024

prompt tag - #bemyvalentineno1, #bemyvalentineno2, etc.

(Or #bemyvalentinealt1, #bemyvalentinealt2, if you use alt promtps)

the theme or specific prompt/s you chose - #love poems, #quote, etc.

fandom or oc - #stranger things, #original content, etc.

any trigger warnings/nsfw tags if needed

and then your own tags!

Only works tagged correctly will be reblogged to this page, so please take note!

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Transcribed Prompt List:

Day 1: "But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion | Love Poems

Day 2: "I want all of you, forever. You and me. Every day." A Thousand Years, Christina Perri | Growing Old Together

Day 3: "I fell in love with a world through her eyes." Ocean Eyes, Billie Eilish | Love at First Sight

Day 4: "I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you." Marry Me, Train | Wedding Vows

Day 5: "My love will keep me from being a lonely spirit." When I Look At You, Miley Cyrus | Long Distance

Day 6: "People do belong to each other, because that's the only chance that anyone's got for true happiness." Home, Edward Sharpe | First Love

Day 7: "It's so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk." Sweater Weather, The Neighbourhood | Snowed In

Day 8: "I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." Say You Won't Let Go, James Arthur | Love Letter

Day 9: "You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful." Lay Me Down, Sam Smith | Widowed

Day 10: "Hold on, are you writing a song?" I Want To Write You A Song, One Direction | Love Songs

Day 11: "To me, you are perfect." Perfect, Ed Sheeran | Kissing in the Rain

Day 12: "History, huh? Bet we could make some." Love Story, Taylor Swift | Historical Romance

Day 13: "I wish I knew how to quit you." All of Me, John Legend | Making Up

Day 14: "You don't step in love, you fall in. Head over heels." I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston | Valentine's Day

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[sylvainahyperfixation]

Your life is mine. Accept your inheritance, or I will reclaim it.

I'd rather die.

---

you know what i thought was REALLY WEIRD. this has been living rent free in my head ever since my first durge playthrough but. (spoilers ahead) minthara's so on board with you being a slayer and taking bhaal's legacy just because she thinks you should take any power available to you. of course in my playthrough i was like holy shit she would LOVE IT she called me her slayer, we're fucking doing it!!! but as you have that convo with bhaal you come to the slow realization that you'll just be his pawn forever - surely your life is worth more, surely you'd want more than doing some shitty god's bidding forever, father or not...i had a moment where i was like, im sorry minthara but i can't choose this. so i chose to defy him. and of course he kills you, withers shows up blah blah.

but.

we KNOW from minthara's characterization (for example in her ending with karlach) she doesn't want her love to die and she would rather jump headfirst into hell to fight against it. she'll never accept it or understand it. i just refuse to believe that if she knew what the consequences were for going down this path (the ending is quite linear and it's canonically Bad) she'd advise you to take the power.

but that's not really even what i was unsatisfied with - let's just say regardless of reasoning it all does happen the way it happened in my playthrough - there's no scene where she (or any other companion you're romancing as durge for that matter from what i've read online) actually reacts to the fact that you DIED. if withers wasnt a bro you'd be permadead. okay, no cutscene? maybe we can have some durge romance specific dialogue...? nope.

anyways larian PLEASE i know she'd be devastated i just want to hear her say no power is worth losing you /sob